Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012) s01e23 Episode Script
Lucius O'Thunderpunch; Bring Me the Head of Ranginald Bagel
1 Go ninja! I was chosen to protect my school from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
Smoke bomb! Ya! Smoke bomb! Welcome to the 800th Annual Norrisville Ninja Day! I'm your host, hey-yo, Heidi Weinerman.
With me, because my mom said I had to is Howard.
- Ha! Double dip! - Nobody even remembers that.
And give it up for the Bucky Hensletter orchestra! Now pound your palms for Norrisville's favorite hero, the Ninja! - Love you, Ninja! - And I love you! It's an all-dizzle cele-brizzle of N-Ville's resident bacon saver! Look at him up there, peacocking like he deserves this! I totally deserve this! Ninja Day! He's so busy buying his own hype he'll never see us coming.
How's it going down there, Viceroy? Done.
You're welded into your pants.
- So if I said I had to pee - I'd say don't.
McFist, why have you summoned me? We're just about to kick off my latest plan.
I call it What do I call it? Operation Replace The Ninja With Lucius O'Thunderpunch So The Students Of Norrisville Will Abandon Him And Put Their Faith In The Wrong Hero Thus Rendering Them Helpless When The Sorcerer Strikes.
I don't know, it feels a little wordy.
- I like it.
- I love it! Suit me up! Ahh! Now we're talkin'! This isn't only about me.
I mean, I couldn't save you if you didn't always need saving.
Double dip! Ninja, you can not be any Brucer which is why The Ninja of the Year award goes to - Giant robot! - What? Giant robot? But he wasn't even nominated! Oh.
I'm on it.
Keep that plaque warm for me, P-Slimmy.
I hate it when the students call me that.
But when you say it, Ninja, it just works.
You go, Ninja! Yeah, Ninja stepped on my head! What the missile? I know you could've handled that, Ninja.
Just thought I'd lend a hand cannon.
- Mysterious hero zing! - And you are? Lucius O'Thunderpunch, at your service! Lucius O'Thunderpunch, that's not a real name.
Why it must be, it's all over these pre-shrunk vintage tees.
Hey, so you probably don't know this, but it's kind of my day.
Oh, right, here, have a hat.
- Ho ho.
- Can we get back to Ninja Day? I believe I was in the middle of accepting a beautiful plaque.
Viceroy, initiate phase two.
Coming right up, or should I say down? That's a hawkin' comet! This one's an old favorite of mine.
Ninja Air Fist.
O'Thunderpunch Comet Stopper! - He saved us, with flavor! - Uh, thanks, but I had that.
Ooh, sorry.
Just trying to help.
I don't need help.
I'm the Ninja.
Looked like you needed some help.
Look, I don't know who you are or where you came from but Norrisville already has a hero, a me.
Hey, buddy, we're all on the same team, eh, buddy.
We are not a team! - Ninja, you blew up my car! - But I ! It was his! Don't worry.
I'll fix it.
Good as new, Slim-diggity.
I like that even better than P-slims.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Will you stop that? It's not your day, it's my day! Ah, not with that attitude it isn't.
I present the Ninja of the Year plaque to - Lucius O'Thunderpunch! - Ooh! Oh, but he's not even a ninja! No plaque necessary.
For me, it's not about that.
For me, it's about free fro-yo! No one's gonna fall for that.
Howard! I protect this school every honkin' day.
These people love me.
No way O'Thunderpunch is stealing my thunder.
Smoke bomb! What the juice! - Thunderpunch! - Did somebody say snow cone? Pretty sure nobody said snow cone.
Nobody didn't say it.
You got tooti-fruity in that thing, O'T.
P.
? Oh! He is stealing my thunder! Smoke bomb! Let's do this.
Whoa! Hey! Look out! Hey hey! - Hey, I think that's eight seconds.
- I got a beach towel! What a boss key ring! I wish I had keys.
I got keys! He's way ahead of you, Ninja.
Decapitation zing! I can't believe it.
O'Thunderpunch stole my o'thunder.
Aw, Ninja, where are you going? I was just about to engage Karaoke Mode! Fine, you like him so much, let him protect you.
I'm out of here! Viceroy, it worked! He's gone! The Ninja's throwing in the scarf! Uh, hello, Mr.
Sorcerer? - What is it? - The school is all yours.
Tell McFist to find the most vulnerable student and crush him! - He said - I heard him! Um, Mr.
O'Thunderpunch, will you sign my triangle? You've got it, kid! You made it a straight angle! Stupid O'Thunderpunch! Stupid Norrisville! Stupid not wanting the Ninja around anymore.
I don't get it, NinjaNomicon, they're supposed to be celebrating me, not Limpy O'Blunderdork.
"When the Ninja is no longer needed the Ninja shall lay down his sword.
" So that's it, they decide they don't need me anymore and I'm done? You realize how wonk that is? They don't want a Ninja, they don't have a Ninja.
You threw the mask away? They don't care about the Ninja, they have O'Thunderpunch now.
So you're quitting? What happens when Norrisville needs you? O'Thunderpunch will handle it.
Get ready for to Tug Tug Press.
Run for your li! Why aren't you handling this? Turning into a monster was his idea.
O'Thunderpunch out! But we gave you a plaque.
I'm so disappointed.
After centuries in this wretched hole, my chaos will set me free! Hmm.
- Uh Cunningham? - Hold on, I've gotta press.
Or is it tug? You tugged your last luck.
I knew it was press.
Uh, before you start a new game, I think you should know there's a stank-nado over the school! I'm sure O'Thunderpunch has it all under control.
You're not gonna do anything just because he wonked all over your Ninja Day? They gave him Ninja of the Year! Howard, not a ninja! Exactly! He's just some guy who gives out awesome free stuff.
- But he's not a ninja, you are.
- They don't want me.
Who cares! They need you.
When the Ninja is no longer needed I thought I had to lay down my sword because I wasn't needed.
Turns out I just wasn't wanted.
We haven't been wanted lots of times.
We're freshmen! You should really be used to this by now.
I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have thrown my Ninja mask away.
Yes, that was really stupid.
Now let's get it back! They so need me.
Whoa! Cunningham, mask! This school needs the Ninja! I'm gonna throw up.
You're the shroob who threw it away.
Oh, shnasty! Ah, yeah, OK! Hey! Hey! Oh-oh.
Bring it on! Boom! - O'Thunderpunch! - Ninja, what are you doing here? There's a mass stanking going on.
- Why aren't you stopping it? - I don't feel like it.
Don't feel like it? Heroes don't get to "Not feel like it".
Who said I was a hero? - OK.
- Oops! Sorry, wrong cannon.
Ninja Missile Snatch! Yikes! I bailed on the school.
And you? Well, you're a jerktastic shoob.
Mm-hmm.
Looks like nobody's getting Ninja of the Year this year.
Ninja plaque Slash! Ninja! Wow! So that happened.
- Yeah, just glad you're all OK.
- That guy's no hero.
He didn't do anything.
Ninja saved the day.
And he yelled at me.
He didn't give two hoots about us during that monster attack.
- Yeah! - We love you, Ninja! Whoa, hey, look at the time.
I'm gonna jetpack! It's OK, you can eat the tacos.
Tacos! - Mmm.
- Thanks, man.
I got so caught up in wanting to be wanted, I forgot what it meant to be needed.
What? All I heard was me chewing.
Smoke bomb, buddy, smoke bomb.
Yah! The McFistival of Pride parade, the crown jewel of the Norrisville parade season.
And when we shred all over the school float It's gonna melt everyone's faces off.
Norrisville, are you ready for 30 Seconds to Math! They aren't ready, none of 'em.
- Not Heidi, not Bash, not Stevens.
- Not Bagel.
Definitely not Bagel.
W-Who is Bagel? Are you kidding me? Ranginald Bagel, the most annoying kid in school.
Thinks he's a standup comedian.
- Morgan, stop me if you've heard this one.
- Stop.
Why can't a sunken ship be in a parade? 'Cause it won't stay afloat! Get it?! Afloat! That kid's name is not Ranginald Bagel.
No one's name is Ranginald Bagel.
I'm Ranginald Bagel! You've been great! Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've gotta take five to make two, if you know what I mean.
- What I mean is I've gotta take a poop.
- Ranginald, just go.
- Good night, everybody! - Wow, this is bad.
Oh, wait till he does his cafeteria bit.
- Twenty minutes on how chili isn't cold! - No, I mean, remember when we were bro-snatched by that swamp wizard Catfish Booray? Well, how you doing over there, partner? My name Catfish.
Hello, Mr.
Catfish.
My name is Ranginald Bagel.
Ranginald Bagel, that's me.
So he thinks your name is Ranginald Bagel, so what? So Booray saw me transform into you know who.
- Who? - The Ninja.
- Mmm.
- He thinks Ranginald Bagel is the Ninja.
I've gotta go to the swamp and set him straight.
I'll admit, usually you wonk everything up, but this one, I think we're good.
No way it's coming back to eat our cheese.
You're right.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Booray and McFist in the same place at the same time.
I was just enjoying my all-you-can-eat crawdads the other day when I overheard Mr.
Booray here - making a rather convincing case how - I know who the Ninja be.
That skinny mullet done sliced up my gris-gris.
Mm, these lobsters are great, Viceroy.
Don't know why they make them so small but I like 'em! Sir, we took two canoes and a fan boat to get down here.
Isn't there something you wanted to ask? Yes.
Do these come with hush puppies? Oh, I'm awful glad you asked that, Mr.
Robot Hand.
You know them hush puppies, they don't come with it.
They're an extra charge.
But they're worth it.
Something besides hush puppies.
Right.
So who's the Ninja? You bring what I asked for? Ooh, McFistPad! Ha! This the new one, right? Of course it's the new one! - Now tell us who the Ninja is! - The Ninja be Ranginald Bagel! Right! I'm in! Viceroy, bring me the head of Ranginald Bagel? Also, wanna go halfsers on another bucket? Oh.
I can't believe I almost skipped the parade to prevent something that could never happen.
Probably wants to congratulate me for keeping myself out of trouble.
Whoa! What the juice? Got it, NinjaNomicon.
If there's an attack, I'll keep my eyes open.
But since there isn't, I've got a parade to get to.
So is there like a button to vloop out of here? Like a switch? - Nomicon says we're all good.
- Wow, that's a load off.
Now let's deal with something important.
Serpentine or Reverse Upstairs-Downstairs Hurricane.
Why give the crowd half a show? Do both.
- Where is Ranginald Bagel? - He went to the lavatory.
You're gonna Ninja-out, aren't you? It'll be fine.
We don't perform till 3:30.
And by my watch, it's only Ninja o'clock.
- I'll meet you on the float.
- No! Don't forget my guitar! I popped it! - I hate this.
- Oh, don't be such a Grumpy Gabe.
Show everyone that big smile of yours.
Operation Sliced Bagel proceeding according to plan.
- Oh, now that's my happy Hanny.
- Yeah! Ha! - Destroy Ranginald Bagel! - Ninja Tripping Balls! Ha! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! and he said Ninja! Great to see you in the second floor bathroom.
Here's one for you: when is a Ninja good at sticking things on a wall.
No time.
Don't panic, but a robot wants to destroy you because he thinks you're me.
Make that "robots".
When you a tack! Get it?! A tack! I'm sorry, what now? A killer robot is coming to get you! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! You've been great, everybody! Good night! No wait, check it.
Ninja, Ranginald Bagel, same place, same time.
Not the same person.
Call off the attack.
Destroy Ranginald Bagel! Maybe it doesn't appreciate comedy.
And I thought the cafeteria on chipped beef day was a tough room.
Nothing, nothing on chipped beef.
How can you make jokes at a time like this? It's a defense mechanism, I do it when I'm nervous or happy or if there's silence, that's the worst.
Destroy Ranginald Bagel! I totally wonked it.
Those bots'll keep coming till I prove to McFist that Ranginald's not the Ninja.
That's it, the McFistival parade! No idea what you're talking about.
But I got six solid minutes on parades.
- Let's go! - Destroy Ranginald Bagel! This is the most boring race ever.
- I don't think it's a race.
- Whatever it is, make it go faster! That's no balloon! That's my sister! See, six minutes on parades! Longest six minutes of my life.
That's because it was seven! So you think we lost those robots or what? - I'm gonna go with, "or what?" - Ha! "Or what?"! That's great! - Can I steal that? - No! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! My balloons, they go pop pop.
Hmm.
Hey, everybody, looks like Weinerman got abandoned.
Kick him when he's down zing! Wrong per U, flute girl.
I'm just gonna get everyone warmed up with a sweet drum solo.
Then it's face-melting time.
Drum solo, classic Weinerman stall.
Just keep 'em busy, buddy.
I'll be there soon.
Oh-oh! - Axe and you shall receive.
- Ha! I'm stealing that one! No you're not! Ninja Boom Ball! Bring it on! Ranginald Bagel's Ninja's out.
Why didn't you plan for that? Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, wait, I did.
Hey! Ow! Ninja Air Fist! Ranginald? Ranginald, you OK? You got a joke for me there, Rang? A joke?! You want a joke?! I was almost sliced in two by a giant robot! Pardon me if I don't find the humor in that! I just wanna make people laugh! Wait a minute.
Ranginald, I think I can fix this, but I need you to make people laugh.
Think you can do that for me, buddy? Have you heard the one about? No no! Save it.
Ninja, thank cheese! De-suit and we can - What's he doing here? - Say hello to your new opening act.
Norrisville, prepare yourself for the comedy stylings of Ranginald Bagel - Ranginald Bagel! - Ranginald Bagel! Ranginald Bagel! Ranginald Bagel is my name, and comedy is the thing that I do that rhymes with "name.
" What have you done? I know we wanted this, Howard, but he needs it.
Two robo-apes walk into a building.
You think one of them would've seen it! But the Ninja's and Ranginald's Ranginald Bagel can't be the Ninja! I knew that swamp elf was nuts! Oh, this isn't over yet.
Destroy Ninja! "The Ninja who looks the other way fails to see the attack.
" Destroy Ninja! But I'm looking right at the attack.
I see it.
How do I stop it? Looks the other way.
Ninja Wisdom Flip! Ninja! Ninja! Ninja! Well, on the bright side, this was the best parade ever.
I hate the bright side! Ranginald got our glory and the McFistival of Pride parade went up in flames.
I hope you learned something from all this.
Oh, I did.
And that is that is hang on a second, it'll come to me.
Did you hear the one about the robo-ape who got fired from the banana farm? He was throwing out all the bent ones.
That joke is offensive.
Get him! Uh, it's on the tip of my tongue.
I know I learned something.
I kid! I kid! That's what I do! You know what? As soon as I rescue Ranginald I'm sure I'll remember it.
Rescue Ranginald! Don't look the other way! Lesson learned! - Would you go help him? - Right, I'm on it! Ya! Good night, everybody! Wanna go halfsers on another bucket?
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
Smoke bomb! Ya! Smoke bomb! Welcome to the 800th Annual Norrisville Ninja Day! I'm your host, hey-yo, Heidi Weinerman.
With me, because my mom said I had to is Howard.
- Ha! Double dip! - Nobody even remembers that.
And give it up for the Bucky Hensletter orchestra! Now pound your palms for Norrisville's favorite hero, the Ninja! - Love you, Ninja! - And I love you! It's an all-dizzle cele-brizzle of N-Ville's resident bacon saver! Look at him up there, peacocking like he deserves this! I totally deserve this! Ninja Day! He's so busy buying his own hype he'll never see us coming.
How's it going down there, Viceroy? Done.
You're welded into your pants.
- So if I said I had to pee - I'd say don't.
McFist, why have you summoned me? We're just about to kick off my latest plan.
I call it What do I call it? Operation Replace The Ninja With Lucius O'Thunderpunch So The Students Of Norrisville Will Abandon Him And Put Their Faith In The Wrong Hero Thus Rendering Them Helpless When The Sorcerer Strikes.
I don't know, it feels a little wordy.
- I like it.
- I love it! Suit me up! Ahh! Now we're talkin'! This isn't only about me.
I mean, I couldn't save you if you didn't always need saving.
Double dip! Ninja, you can not be any Brucer which is why The Ninja of the Year award goes to - Giant robot! - What? Giant robot? But he wasn't even nominated! Oh.
I'm on it.
Keep that plaque warm for me, P-Slimmy.
I hate it when the students call me that.
But when you say it, Ninja, it just works.
You go, Ninja! Yeah, Ninja stepped on my head! What the missile? I know you could've handled that, Ninja.
Just thought I'd lend a hand cannon.
- Mysterious hero zing! - And you are? Lucius O'Thunderpunch, at your service! Lucius O'Thunderpunch, that's not a real name.
Why it must be, it's all over these pre-shrunk vintage tees.
Hey, so you probably don't know this, but it's kind of my day.
Oh, right, here, have a hat.
- Ho ho.
- Can we get back to Ninja Day? I believe I was in the middle of accepting a beautiful plaque.
Viceroy, initiate phase two.
Coming right up, or should I say down? That's a hawkin' comet! This one's an old favorite of mine.
Ninja Air Fist.
O'Thunderpunch Comet Stopper! - He saved us, with flavor! - Uh, thanks, but I had that.
Ooh, sorry.
Just trying to help.
I don't need help.
I'm the Ninja.
Looked like you needed some help.
Look, I don't know who you are or where you came from but Norrisville already has a hero, a me.
Hey, buddy, we're all on the same team, eh, buddy.
We are not a team! - Ninja, you blew up my car! - But I ! It was his! Don't worry.
I'll fix it.
Good as new, Slim-diggity.
I like that even better than P-slims.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Will you stop that? It's not your day, it's my day! Ah, not with that attitude it isn't.
I present the Ninja of the Year plaque to - Lucius O'Thunderpunch! - Ooh! Oh, but he's not even a ninja! No plaque necessary.
For me, it's not about that.
For me, it's about free fro-yo! No one's gonna fall for that.
Howard! I protect this school every honkin' day.
These people love me.
No way O'Thunderpunch is stealing my thunder.
Smoke bomb! What the juice! - Thunderpunch! - Did somebody say snow cone? Pretty sure nobody said snow cone.
Nobody didn't say it.
You got tooti-fruity in that thing, O'T.
P.
? Oh! He is stealing my thunder! Smoke bomb! Let's do this.
Whoa! Hey! Look out! Hey hey! - Hey, I think that's eight seconds.
- I got a beach towel! What a boss key ring! I wish I had keys.
I got keys! He's way ahead of you, Ninja.
Decapitation zing! I can't believe it.
O'Thunderpunch stole my o'thunder.
Aw, Ninja, where are you going? I was just about to engage Karaoke Mode! Fine, you like him so much, let him protect you.
I'm out of here! Viceroy, it worked! He's gone! The Ninja's throwing in the scarf! Uh, hello, Mr.
Sorcerer? - What is it? - The school is all yours.
Tell McFist to find the most vulnerable student and crush him! - He said - I heard him! Um, Mr.
O'Thunderpunch, will you sign my triangle? You've got it, kid! You made it a straight angle! Stupid O'Thunderpunch! Stupid Norrisville! Stupid not wanting the Ninja around anymore.
I don't get it, NinjaNomicon, they're supposed to be celebrating me, not Limpy O'Blunderdork.
"When the Ninja is no longer needed the Ninja shall lay down his sword.
" So that's it, they decide they don't need me anymore and I'm done? You realize how wonk that is? They don't want a Ninja, they don't have a Ninja.
You threw the mask away? They don't care about the Ninja, they have O'Thunderpunch now.
So you're quitting? What happens when Norrisville needs you? O'Thunderpunch will handle it.
Get ready for to Tug Tug Press.
Run for your li! Why aren't you handling this? Turning into a monster was his idea.
O'Thunderpunch out! But we gave you a plaque.
I'm so disappointed.
After centuries in this wretched hole, my chaos will set me free! Hmm.
- Uh Cunningham? - Hold on, I've gotta press.
Or is it tug? You tugged your last luck.
I knew it was press.
Uh, before you start a new game, I think you should know there's a stank-nado over the school! I'm sure O'Thunderpunch has it all under control.
You're not gonna do anything just because he wonked all over your Ninja Day? They gave him Ninja of the Year! Howard, not a ninja! Exactly! He's just some guy who gives out awesome free stuff.
- But he's not a ninja, you are.
- They don't want me.
Who cares! They need you.
When the Ninja is no longer needed I thought I had to lay down my sword because I wasn't needed.
Turns out I just wasn't wanted.
We haven't been wanted lots of times.
We're freshmen! You should really be used to this by now.
I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have thrown my Ninja mask away.
Yes, that was really stupid.
Now let's get it back! They so need me.
Whoa! Cunningham, mask! This school needs the Ninja! I'm gonna throw up.
You're the shroob who threw it away.
Oh, shnasty! Ah, yeah, OK! Hey! Hey! Oh-oh.
Bring it on! Boom! - O'Thunderpunch! - Ninja, what are you doing here? There's a mass stanking going on.
- Why aren't you stopping it? - I don't feel like it.
Don't feel like it? Heroes don't get to "Not feel like it".
Who said I was a hero? - OK.
- Oops! Sorry, wrong cannon.
Ninja Missile Snatch! Yikes! I bailed on the school.
And you? Well, you're a jerktastic shoob.
Mm-hmm.
Looks like nobody's getting Ninja of the Year this year.
Ninja plaque Slash! Ninja! Wow! So that happened.
- Yeah, just glad you're all OK.
- That guy's no hero.
He didn't do anything.
Ninja saved the day.
And he yelled at me.
He didn't give two hoots about us during that monster attack.
- Yeah! - We love you, Ninja! Whoa, hey, look at the time.
I'm gonna jetpack! It's OK, you can eat the tacos.
Tacos! - Mmm.
- Thanks, man.
I got so caught up in wanting to be wanted, I forgot what it meant to be needed.
What? All I heard was me chewing.
Smoke bomb, buddy, smoke bomb.
Yah! The McFistival of Pride parade, the crown jewel of the Norrisville parade season.
And when we shred all over the school float It's gonna melt everyone's faces off.
Norrisville, are you ready for 30 Seconds to Math! They aren't ready, none of 'em.
- Not Heidi, not Bash, not Stevens.
- Not Bagel.
Definitely not Bagel.
W-Who is Bagel? Are you kidding me? Ranginald Bagel, the most annoying kid in school.
Thinks he's a standup comedian.
- Morgan, stop me if you've heard this one.
- Stop.
Why can't a sunken ship be in a parade? 'Cause it won't stay afloat! Get it?! Afloat! That kid's name is not Ranginald Bagel.
No one's name is Ranginald Bagel.
I'm Ranginald Bagel! You've been great! Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've gotta take five to make two, if you know what I mean.
- What I mean is I've gotta take a poop.
- Ranginald, just go.
- Good night, everybody! - Wow, this is bad.
Oh, wait till he does his cafeteria bit.
- Twenty minutes on how chili isn't cold! - No, I mean, remember when we were bro-snatched by that swamp wizard Catfish Booray? Well, how you doing over there, partner? My name Catfish.
Hello, Mr.
Catfish.
My name is Ranginald Bagel.
Ranginald Bagel, that's me.
So he thinks your name is Ranginald Bagel, so what? So Booray saw me transform into you know who.
- Who? - The Ninja.
- Mmm.
- He thinks Ranginald Bagel is the Ninja.
I've gotta go to the swamp and set him straight.
I'll admit, usually you wonk everything up, but this one, I think we're good.
No way it's coming back to eat our cheese.
You're right.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Booray and McFist in the same place at the same time.
I was just enjoying my all-you-can-eat crawdads the other day when I overheard Mr.
Booray here - making a rather convincing case how - I know who the Ninja be.
That skinny mullet done sliced up my gris-gris.
Mm, these lobsters are great, Viceroy.
Don't know why they make them so small but I like 'em! Sir, we took two canoes and a fan boat to get down here.
Isn't there something you wanted to ask? Yes.
Do these come with hush puppies? Oh, I'm awful glad you asked that, Mr.
Robot Hand.
You know them hush puppies, they don't come with it.
They're an extra charge.
But they're worth it.
Something besides hush puppies.
Right.
So who's the Ninja? You bring what I asked for? Ooh, McFistPad! Ha! This the new one, right? Of course it's the new one! - Now tell us who the Ninja is! - The Ninja be Ranginald Bagel! Right! I'm in! Viceroy, bring me the head of Ranginald Bagel? Also, wanna go halfsers on another bucket? Oh.
I can't believe I almost skipped the parade to prevent something that could never happen.
Probably wants to congratulate me for keeping myself out of trouble.
Whoa! What the juice? Got it, NinjaNomicon.
If there's an attack, I'll keep my eyes open.
But since there isn't, I've got a parade to get to.
So is there like a button to vloop out of here? Like a switch? - Nomicon says we're all good.
- Wow, that's a load off.
Now let's deal with something important.
Serpentine or Reverse Upstairs-Downstairs Hurricane.
Why give the crowd half a show? Do both.
- Where is Ranginald Bagel? - He went to the lavatory.
You're gonna Ninja-out, aren't you? It'll be fine.
We don't perform till 3:30.
And by my watch, it's only Ninja o'clock.
- I'll meet you on the float.
- No! Don't forget my guitar! I popped it! - I hate this.
- Oh, don't be such a Grumpy Gabe.
Show everyone that big smile of yours.
Operation Sliced Bagel proceeding according to plan.
- Oh, now that's my happy Hanny.
- Yeah! Ha! - Destroy Ranginald Bagel! - Ninja Tripping Balls! Ha! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! and he said Ninja! Great to see you in the second floor bathroom.
Here's one for you: when is a Ninja good at sticking things on a wall.
No time.
Don't panic, but a robot wants to destroy you because he thinks you're me.
Make that "robots".
When you a tack! Get it?! A tack! I'm sorry, what now? A killer robot is coming to get you! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! You've been great, everybody! Good night! No wait, check it.
Ninja, Ranginald Bagel, same place, same time.
Not the same person.
Call off the attack.
Destroy Ranginald Bagel! Maybe it doesn't appreciate comedy.
And I thought the cafeteria on chipped beef day was a tough room.
Nothing, nothing on chipped beef.
How can you make jokes at a time like this? It's a defense mechanism, I do it when I'm nervous or happy or if there's silence, that's the worst.
Destroy Ranginald Bagel! I totally wonked it.
Those bots'll keep coming till I prove to McFist that Ranginald's not the Ninja.
That's it, the McFistival parade! No idea what you're talking about.
But I got six solid minutes on parades.
- Let's go! - Destroy Ranginald Bagel! This is the most boring race ever.
- I don't think it's a race.
- Whatever it is, make it go faster! That's no balloon! That's my sister! See, six minutes on parades! Longest six minutes of my life.
That's because it was seven! So you think we lost those robots or what? - I'm gonna go with, "or what?" - Ha! "Or what?"! That's great! - Can I steal that? - No! Destroy Ranginald Bagel! My balloons, they go pop pop.
Hmm.
Hey, everybody, looks like Weinerman got abandoned.
Kick him when he's down zing! Wrong per U, flute girl.
I'm just gonna get everyone warmed up with a sweet drum solo.
Then it's face-melting time.
Drum solo, classic Weinerman stall.
Just keep 'em busy, buddy.
I'll be there soon.
Oh-oh! - Axe and you shall receive.
- Ha! I'm stealing that one! No you're not! Ninja Boom Ball! Bring it on! Ranginald Bagel's Ninja's out.
Why didn't you plan for that? Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, wait, I did.
Hey! Ow! Ninja Air Fist! Ranginald? Ranginald, you OK? You got a joke for me there, Rang? A joke?! You want a joke?! I was almost sliced in two by a giant robot! Pardon me if I don't find the humor in that! I just wanna make people laugh! Wait a minute.
Ranginald, I think I can fix this, but I need you to make people laugh.
Think you can do that for me, buddy? Have you heard the one about? No no! Save it.
Ninja, thank cheese! De-suit and we can - What's he doing here? - Say hello to your new opening act.
Norrisville, prepare yourself for the comedy stylings of Ranginald Bagel - Ranginald Bagel! - Ranginald Bagel! Ranginald Bagel! Ranginald Bagel is my name, and comedy is the thing that I do that rhymes with "name.
" What have you done? I know we wanted this, Howard, but he needs it.
Two robo-apes walk into a building.
You think one of them would've seen it! But the Ninja's and Ranginald's Ranginald Bagel can't be the Ninja! I knew that swamp elf was nuts! Oh, this isn't over yet.
Destroy Ninja! "The Ninja who looks the other way fails to see the attack.
" Destroy Ninja! But I'm looking right at the attack.
I see it.
How do I stop it? Looks the other way.
Ninja Wisdom Flip! Ninja! Ninja! Ninja! Well, on the bright side, this was the best parade ever.
I hate the bright side! Ranginald got our glory and the McFistival of Pride parade went up in flames.
I hope you learned something from all this.
Oh, I did.
And that is that is hang on a second, it'll come to me.
Did you hear the one about the robo-ape who got fired from the banana farm? He was throwing out all the bent ones.
That joke is offensive.
Get him! Uh, it's on the tip of my tongue.
I know I learned something.
I kid! I kid! That's what I do! You know what? As soon as I rescue Ranginald I'm sure I'll remember it.
Rescue Ranginald! Don't look the other way! Lesson learned! - Would you go help him? - Right, I'm on it! Ya! Good night, everybody! Wanna go halfsers on another bucket?