Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012) s02e21 Episode Script

McCluckerbusters; Let Them Eat Cake Fries

1 Go ninja! [title music.]
I was chosen to protect my school from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
Smoke bomb! [rock music.]
The SeaGriddle Double Stack Squid Bomb! Five slices of cheese.
Ten tentacles! Crammed between two Chili Ranch Inkrito buns! I heard whatever this thing's made of was fed nothing but habanero peppers - and chocolate milk shakes! - The heat and the sweet! [chuckles.]
[hard crunch.]
What the honk? Is that a beak? [groans.]
I'm gonna throw up! No, no, no, no! What are you doing? Don't you know the rule about finding something in your food? - There's a rule about that? - Pardon me.
My friend just bit into his SeaGriddle and found this.
Whoa, whoa.
Is that a beak? [squeaming.]
I'm gonna throw up! [retching.]
I'm terribly sorry about this.
The meal is on the house.
Yeah, for starters.
Hmm.
We'll also have the meatball skins, catfish ticklers, and a couple three macaroni slammers.
Let's see what page two has to offer Howard, don't you think you're taking advantage of this? Of course, I'm taking advantage! This is how the world works.
When the Gravy Train pulls into Good Times Station, you get on board.
Ah, Choo-choo! Um, let's throw in a basket of country fried cheese.
Choo-choo.
Wink.
[Nomicon humming.]
No! This is your Nomicon now! Just keep ordering.
I'll take care of this.
[yelling.]
[grunting.]
[roars.]
"A Ninja who takes more than he needs gets more than he wants.
" Yeah, that's exactly what I need: more than I want! Ah, choo-choo, Nomicon! Nomicon is totally fine with us ridin' the Gravy Train! [gasps.]
And here's your Steamed Tofurkey Platter.
- Tofurkey?! - Yeah, the Gravy Train kinda - derailed on the Skinny Menu.
- So if there's nothing else I thought I just ordered the whole menu.
- Is there something else? - No, there's nothing else.
There's gotta be something else.
Hm [gasps.]
We demand an audience with P.
J.
McFlubbuster.
[gasps.]
No one meets Mr.
McFlubbuster! He never leaves his whimsical castle factory! Well, I got a beak and a best friend whose sister has the third most popular MeCast in Norrisville.
So, are we going online, or are we going to the factory? I'm sure I can arrange something.
[both.]
Something! Mmm Commodore Clucker? Hannibal McFist here.
Guess what I just heard.
Oh-ho man, you stink at guessin'! Wow, Cunningham.
You really went right for the jugular back there.
Who knew I was so good at blackmailing people? Cock-a-doodle-doo, boys.
Name's Commodore Charlie Clucker.
You the fellas what's headin' to the McFlubbuster factory? Yeah, we are what's them.
Well, throw them buggies in the back.
I'll give ya a lift.
I got a little proposition yous twos.
Scuttlebutt is PJ McFlubbuster's cookin' up an appeteaser that'll blow my onion-holes outta the water.
- But your onion-holes are the cheese! - Indubitably! But PJ's cracked the inside-outside onion blossom.
It's like a regular blossom, but the crunch is on the inside.
[gasps.]
Aw, man, that sounds honkin' tasty! That's exactly why I need you to get me one.
So's I can cut it open and deduce its gustatory prestidigitation! I don't know.
All this cluck and dagger's starting to sound like work.
Come on, Howard, the Gravy Train has left the station! Chooch it or lose it! What's in it for us? Well, now, what tickles your fancy? We want reserved parking spots for our bikes at your restaurant.
[gasps.]
Ooh-wee! You got a license to drive a bargain that hard? You were right, Howard, that beak is getting us more than we ever wanted! But the point was to get something for doing nothing.
And here we are doing something.
I hate doing things! [both chuckle.]
So [both gasp.]
you're the cheeky hooligans who have finagled your way into my home.
Wow, PJ McFlubbuster! In person! The pleasure's all ours, your highness.
I suppose you'd like a tour of my whimsical castle factory.
- Gramsley! - Choo choo, buddy! Yes, this is where the magic happens.
- Whoa - Holy cheese! [belching.]
[PJ.]
Behold, Ranch Dressing Falls.
Wow, robot chefs sheering a spaghetti sheep.
- And, blimey, a ketchup river.
- Oh, oh! Can we swim in it?! Gramsley! Fetch the dinner tubes! [Gramsley grunts indistinct.]
These are onion rings! Oh, how astute.
Don't eat them or you'll drown.
Keep him busy.
I've gotta find that blossom.
So much for my relaxing float down Ketchup River! Gravy train! So Peej, what would be a good way to distract you? Glad you asked! Permit me to regale you with a long-winded reminiscence of the last time I was distracted Commence Ninja secret lab-finding mission.
Huh.
Mission accomplished.
Hm.
[humming.]
[gasps.]
It's so beautiful! [sniffs.]
[groans.]
Ow! Ah! [alarm blaring.]
So how's it goin'? You're here to burgle my blossom?! No, this isn't I mean I can see how you would think But it's not It was Charlie Clucker! He made us do it! Clucker, hey? Oh, yes, this has his chicken finger-prints all over it.
All right, change of tack.
Here's the strategem: You rapscallions give him this false onion blossom.
Then nick his secret chicken recipe and bring it to me! - Eh What's in it for us? - More work, I bet.
You're the one in the sticky wicket! There's nothing "in it" for you! Fine.
Then "nick" the recipe yourself.
- What do you want? - A permanent booth at your restaurant.
And top hats with our names on them.
I agree to your terms.
Gramsley! Fetch my screaming pillow.
Choo choo! [grunting.]
[panting.]
[door shuts.]
[whimpers.]
[both scream.]
[shudders.]
This place is upsetting.
We should get out of here while we still have our legs, thighs and wings.
You're the one who said we should take the Gravy Train! Besides, we're this close to getting more than we ever wanted! Hello? Commodore? [chair cranking.]
Howdy, gents.
You got what I want? Oh, we got more than you want.
- Well, then give it on over! - Mm-hmm.
Wait 'chere while I go analyze this in my flavoratory.
His flavoratory?! He's going to figure out it's a bogus blossom! Let's bolt before we end up like that cow! [mooing.]
Not until we commence Secret Recipe Finding Yep, there it is.
Hm.
[grunting.]
It's stuffed with newspaper! I been hornswoggled! [panting.]
Outstanding.
Hand over the recipe.
Oh, we'll hand it over.
But the price just went upper.
[grunts.]
Upper? Yeah, upper.
Nobody upper-deals PJ McFlubbuster! OK, seriously? You gotta pull the brakes on this.
- Just give him the recipe! - Tell me your demands.
We want you to rename your restaurant after us.
PJ McRandyHoward's.
That's the worst name I've ever heard.
I won't do it! Then you're not getting this.
Gramsley! Commence fisticuffs! [grunting.]
Now wallop him good in the breadbasket! [zapping.]
[yells.]
McFlubbuster, I shoulda known you'd triple-cross my double-cross! Come and get it, child's plate.
Nobody calls me child's plate, senior discount! - At 'em, lads! - Get 'em, boys! [laughing.]
[squawking.]
[grunts.]
[both groaning.]
[gasps.]
[yells.]
I'll brown your biscuits! Our favorite restaurateurs are killing each other! You have to Ninja out! You're right! I gotta help PJ! Otherwise McRandyHoward will never become a reality! - That's not what I mean! - [sighs.]
You're right.
If I help Clucker, our faces could be on top of that bucket! Ah! Ahh! - I'll bread your pudding! - What in tarnation? Uh What the juice? McFist?! That's right.
Juice McFist! Everything went exactly according to my plan.
Wait, what was your plan? To get those two knuckleheads to knock off each other's armies so I could move in on their turf! And their surf! [gasps.]
Say goodbye to Clucker's and McFlubbuster's, and say hello to Hannibal McCluckerbuster's! - Whoa, McFist makes food now! - Bruce-licious! - And we only serve wraps! - [both.]
Wraps? - Cunningham, wraps are the worst! - I know.
You always think they're gonna be as good as a sandwich, but they never are.
We're about to lose our two favorite restaurants.
- And it's all your fault! - My fault?! "A Ninja who takes more than he needs gets more than he wants.
" Oh, I took way more than I needed, and I crashed the Gravy Train.
Right into downtown wrap city! [groans.]
I should'a called it Wrap City! That is way better! [gasps.]
So, you gonna stop those things? - Those copter things? - Yeah, yeah, I'm going! Ninja-Helicopter-Snag! Ninja-Leg-Removal! Ninja-Helicopter- Rotor-Decapitation! [clucks.]
Ninja-Jump! La-la-la la-la I'm cuttin' chickens down Bow-bow-bow bow-bow I saved the restaurant Here I go again I'm saving people now Fly into the air Land.
[groans.]
[tires screeching.]
Nailed it! Naw, you didn't! You put his restaurant in my space and my restaurant in his space! [grunts.]
Looks like I'll be receiving your post for a while, Clucker.
But it's good to be back in bid'ness.
- How can we ever repay you, Ninja? - Well, now that you mention it, I have always wanted a sandwich named after me, and maybe frontsies at the drive-thru? And also can I have fries that look like me? Smokebomb.
There it is, all right, let's get outta here.
So I go to the dentist for an hour, and you launch an elaborate plan to take over the midscale restaurant industry? At least we got lunch squared away for the next five years or so.
Wrap City.
How'd I miss that one? [groans.]
Wish this was a sandwich.
To stop the corrupt principles ban on plum tax, folk hero Le Béret fought back with feathers.
[all gasp.]
Le Béret was so Bruce! Why isn't anybody fancy anymore? Thus, the Feather Rebellion of 1793, reestablished the status quill.
[chuckles.]
Viva Le Béret! [all cheering.]
- Hooray! Viva Le Béret! - Huzzah! If it wasn't for Le Béret, we'd be living in a world - of featherless hats! - Wait, that's what he was fighting for? Huh, I was just really diggin' his steez.
[Heidi.]
Baking news, Weenstagrams! It's your flavorite anchor H-Grubz here with an NHS snacksclusive! Cake Fries are going bye-byes! Ha ha! You said it, Heidi I think.
As of tomorrow cake fries are off the menu.
- This is a travesty! Hold on, hold on.
Before you start shoobin' off half wonked just read the pamphlets taped to your lockers.
They're banning cake fries?! [gasps.]
- Did he say banning? - He didn't have to! This cake fry clip-art has a slash through it! I have to do something.
- Hm? - Whoa! Fellow students! Slimovitz can't take our cake fries.
We have to send him a message, by not reading his message.
[all cheering.]
Yes! Yes! Rip the pamphlets to shreds! Now throw it on the floor! - Hey, man! I just swept that floor! - Yes, you did! Which is why we are going to throw Slimovitz's "pamphlets" in the nearest recycling bin! Say it with me: Cake fries! Cake fries! [all chanting.]
Cake fries! Cake fries! Cake fries! There something did.
Yeah, if we were fighting pamphlets.
- You have to Ninja-out and save cake fries! - I can't! Remember what happened last time Ninja tried to change snack policy? [growling.]
[belching.]
- Mmm? - Soupsicles? You became a monster? We fought at McFist industries? - You sure that was me? - Trust me, this is not a Ninja thing.
What we need is a folk hero, someone to stand up against the tyranny of Slimovitz! But not the Ninja.
[Nomicon humming.]
Uh, sorry, I really have to take this [grunts.]
[girl.]
This is the kind of injustice Le Béret fought against! If he were here, he would fight for us! [all cheering.]
[yells.]
"He who attacks without cause has no cause to attack.
" Slimovitz attacked our cause which gave us cause to attack his cause 'cause cake fries! [yelps.]
Hmm? Where'd everybody go? [scatting.]
Oooo, ahh, I dunno They went to go look at something.
Wait a minute, I wanna go look at something! Whoo! - Ooh, yeah! - What the honk is everyone staring Oh, the clock tower's a cake fry! Looks like time fries when you're having fun! Le-Béret-is-back zing! But that's impossible.
He'd be like a ton of years old! The Ninja's 800 years old.
Yeah, but there's more than one of ehhh Look what Debbie found! Look everybody! It was Le Béret! Ooh-yeah.
[cheering.]
All right, who's bright idea was it to tear up all of my pamphlets? [gasps.]
Le Béret lives! And he or she will taste sweet salty justice! [all chanting.]
Cake fries! Cake fries! Cake fries! Man, you should have seen it.
Slimovitz was all, "Waaah!" And everyone was like, "Blaaah!" It was amazing.
Oh, sorry, I missed it, but uh duty called.
Ha-ha, duty, classic.
It's not a joke, Cunningham.
Not this time.
Well, even though Ninja can't do it, it's pretty schweet that someone's fighting for cake fries.
My gut says it could be Bucky? But my brain says, "Really? Bucky?" Attençion, classe.
Make your books with page 138, s'il vous plaît.
Ooh, oh, oh! Zut alors! [shrieks.]
[all gasping.]
[gasps.]
Le Béret! He or she struck again! - Viva les cake-frites! [all chanting.]
- Maybe it's Debbie Kang [all chanting.]
Cake fries! Cake fries! Cake fries! Now, I know there have been rumors that "someone" is trying to save cake fries - It's Le Béret! - [groans.]
There is no Le Béret! And anyone caught engaging in Le Béret-like activities or wearing a beret, will be suspended! Viva les cake-frites! - [all chanting.]
Cake fries! - Cake-frites [groans.]
Cake fries are gone and they're not coming back.
Just read the pamphlet! Huh? [gasping.]
"Viva les cake-frites!"? - It is Le Béret! - In your face, Slimovitz! Oh, no.
Aah! Help! I can't swim in batter! - We gotta help him! - No! Let him swim in it for a while.
That he'll change his tune.
But he'll drown! He can't swim in batter! [both panting.]
I owe you my life! I owe you my life! With cake fry fever on the rise, all of NHS is question marking: Will P-swizzle flop flip his p'stance? Mm.
Yes.
Yes, I will, Heidi.
Viva les cake-frites! [cheering.]
We were going to remove cake fries from the school tomorrow, but instead we're removing them immediately! [phone ringing.]
"Gene Levine, the Disco Machine.
" Oh, I'm sorry.
I was trying to call Gene Levine, the Disposal Machine.
Please hold.
Gene Levine, the Disposal Machine.
Hi, Gene, Irving Slimovitz.
I have a school full of cake fry batter and I need to dispose of it.
Wouldn't ya know it, all my batter disposal trucks is out right now.
But how does blimp sound? Unnecessarily dramatic! I'll take it! [grunting.]
O-M-Juice! If Debbie Kang was willing to drown Slimovitz, how far will she go to stop that blimp? The oppression of Principal Slimovitz will not stand! Give us cake fries or give us [shrieks.]
Ninja?! You here to join the cause?! - We're having a sit-in after school.
- Join the cause? No! I'm here to stop you before someone gets hurt! - Me? - Yes, you! You're Le Béret! [all gasping.]
I'm flattered, but I am not Le Béret.
But you're always with the "Viva the this!" and the "Cake fries the that!" I like what he or she stands for but it's not me.
Oh, exactly what someone who was Le Béret but didn't want me to think they're Le Béret would say! [chuckles.]
I am Le Béret.
Or you're not Le Béret and he is! Nailed it! [chuckle.]
Principal Slimovitz, you have ignored my message.
You have left me no choice.
Cake fries will never leave NHS.
Viva les cake-frites! [all.]
Viva les cake-frites! How's he going to stop cake fries from leaving? It's not like you can just attack a blimp [gasps.]
He's gonna attack a blimp! Smokebomb! [Gene.]
Wouldn't ya know it! I got clamps.
Gene! What the juice happened? I just finished pumpin' that blimp full'a batter, when some weirdo shot me with a clamp gun! But if you're down here, who's flying that blimp? Ah, that weirdo with the clamp gun, I assume? I gotta get up there! I'll be here.
'Cause I'm clamped! [grunts.]
Huh? Nobody's flying this blimp! What are you doing here, Ninja? This doesn't concern you! Doesn't concern me?! I have to stop you from what ever it is you're doing.
What are you doing? I'm dumping all the batter back into the school where it belongs! I can't let you do that, Le Béret.
I cannot let you not let me do that, Ninja.
This is what the people want! Les clamp! Would you get off! [both yelling.]
[grunts.]
[chuckles.]
[grunting.]
Le Béret, nooo! [computer voice.]
Batter Dump in 30 seconds, 29 You're too late! The cake fries have come home to roost! You should have stayed out of this! Remember the last time Ninja tried to change snack policy? Yeah, but Wait a honkin' second.
I said that to Howard?! You're Le Béret? But how? Every time I said I was going to the bathroom, I was actually being Le Béret.
Well, except after lunch, that time I did go to the bathroom.
Then I went to McFist Industries with my dad's ID badge and got this glider and a clamp gun.
You said it yourself: we needed a folk hero, someone to stand up against the tyranny of Slimovitz! By the way, how Bruce are these boots? I think I'm gonna start dressing like this.
Slimovitz isn't getting rid of cake fries.
They're being discontinued, and replaced with pudding tots! Ooh-ooh! Pudding Tots! How good do those sound? "He who attacks without cause has no cause to attack.
" It wasn't Slimovitz who attacked without cause, it was me! [groans.]
Should'a read the pamphlet! [computer voice.]
Batter Dump in, five, four We have to stop that Dump! [grunts.]
[computer voice.]
Batter Dumped.
Look out below.
Oh, boy.
There are kids in there! School's over! What kind of kid stays in school after 3 PM? The kind you inspired to hold a peaceful sit-in demonstration! I have followers? We need to save my followers! - Take a right! - I'm going left! [both yell.]
Right it is! There! [all screaming.]
Howard Weinerman is Le Béret?! - Hey! Why's that surprising? - It's just I-I never thought of you as a rebel hero before.
- It's kinda Bruce.
- Ohh, It's the boots, right? [gasps.]
[grunts.]
[all screaming.]
- Did you do this?! - Technically, yes.
Also, actually, yes.
So, yes.
How am I supposed to stop an ocean of cake batter? - I dunno, bake it? - Bake it! Howard, that's it! You're a genius! Tengu-Fireball! [all cheering.]
Is everybody OK? Frankly, Ninja, I've had batter days.
Almost-caked-my-pants zing! Um I don't know if you guys should eat the No, Ninja.
Let them eat cake fries.
Cake-frizzles may be off the mizzle, but shanks to Le Béret, pudding tots drop on Monday! Aaah! We were always getting pudding tots! Didn't anybody read my pamphlets?! Oh, real nice.
The guy who gave them pudding tots has to shovel burnt batter! Uh.
.
You're also the guy who battered the school, so I'm just sayin', that this is no way to treat a hero.
Come on, guys! Le Béret was there for us! We need to be here for him! [all cheering.]
Hey, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Just back away slowly, Cunningham.

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