Regular Show (2010) s06e14 Episode Script
Married and Broke
1 Ugh! Why do we got to watch the wedding network? Why do we got to watch the wedding network? The jet ski channel is just two wedding network? The jet ski channel is just two channels away.
The jet ski channel is just two channels away.
Shut your face, channels away.
Shut your face, bro.
Shut your face, bro.
I'm trying to get ideas for bro.
I'm trying to get ideas for starla and I's wedding.
I'm trying to get ideas for starla and I's wedding.
So far, I thought of starla and I's wedding.
So far, I thought of 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, so far, I thought of 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, special seats that spin 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, special seats that spin doughnuts, and a blimp that special seats that spin doughnuts, and a blimp that floats above the reception and doughnuts, and a blimp that floats above the reception and rains barbecue sauce on command.
Floats above the reception and rains barbecue sauce on command.
Do you have an rains barbecue sauce on command.
Do you have an unrealistically ambitious do you have an unrealistically ambitious wedding? Unrealistically ambitious wedding? No.
Wedding? No.
Then become a contestant on No.
Then become a contestant on "married and broke.
" Then become a contestant on "married and broke.
" A twisted new game show from the "married and broke.
" A twisted new game show from the makers of "fool me once, shame a twisted new game show from the makers of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I punch" makers of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I punch your face!" On you, fool me twice, I punch your face!" Your face!" Oh, I've seen this one Oh, I've seen this one at Eileen's.
Oh, I've seen this one at Eileen's.
People do the craziest stuff for at Eileen's.
People do the craziest stuff for a stupid wedding.
People do the craziest stuff for a stupid wedding.
I give it like a 2 1/2.
A stupid wedding.
I give it like a 2 1/2.
Out of what? I give it like a 2 1/2.
Out of what? I don't know.
Out of what? I don't know.
Congratulations! I don't know.
Congratulations! We're paying for the wedding of congratulations! We're paying for the wedding of your dreams! We're paying for the wedding of your dreams! Your dreams! I don't need some I don't need some demeaning game to pay for my I don't need some demeaning game to pay for my wedding.
Demeaning game to pay for my wedding.
I have all the money I could wedding.
I have all the money I could ever want.
I have all the money I could ever want.
What?! How? Ever want.
What?! How? Smart What?! How? Smart investments.
Smart investments.
Yeah, I've been using my investments.
Yeah, I've been using my paychecks to invest in a little yeah, I've been using my paychecks to invest in a little bumper stock called the paychecks to invest in a little bumper stock called the "ant-farm industry.
" Bumper stock called the "ant-farm industry.
" Ant farms? "Ant-farm industry.
" Ant farms? So I'm pretty Ant farms? So I'm pretty much basically rich.
So I'm pretty much basically rich.
- Much basically rich.
- Talk to me.
Talk to me.
Muscle man, it's your talk to me.
Muscle man, it's your stockbroker.
Muscle man, it's your stockbroker.
I'm calling to tell you that, stockbroker.
I'm calling to tell you that, uh, yeah, ant farms are not I'm calling to tell you that, uh, yeah, ant farms are not real.
Uh, yeah, ant farms are not real.
Not a real thing to invest in.
Real.
Not a real thing to invest in.
A very bad investment.
Not a real thing to invest in.
A very bad investment.
And, uh, I am not an accredited a very bad investment.
And, uh, I am not an accredited stockbroker.
And, uh, I am not an accredited stockbroker.
What are you stockbroker.
What are you saying, Maurice? What are you saying, Maurice? Oh, boy.
You got no money.
Saying, Maurice? Oh, boy.
You got no money.
You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh, boy.
You got no money.
You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh-ho-ho! You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh-ho-ho! Good luck with the rest of your Oh-ho-ho! Good luck with the rest of your life! Good luck with the rest of your life! Life! What was that all What was that all about? What was that all about? - About? - Babe? Babe? Babe.
Babe? Babe.
The flowers for our wedding? Babe.
The flowers for our wedding? They're so expensive.
The flowers for our wedding? They're so expensive.
You won't believe how expensive they're so expensive.
You won't believe how expensive they are! You won't believe how expensive they are! Oh, come on.
They are! Oh, come on.
Like, how many ant farms are we Oh, come on.
Like, how many ant farms are we talking here? Like, how many ant farms are we talking here? Mitch, they don't take ant talking here? Mitch, they don't take ant farms.
Mitch, they don't take ant farms.
Farms.
"So, that's why we want to be on" "So, that's why we want to be on your" "So, that's why we want to be on your Show.
" "Your Show.
" Thank you.
Show.
" Thank you.
"Married and broke" isn't a thank you.
"Married and broke" isn't a crass, violent show like "married and broke" isn't a crass, violent show like "fool me twice.
" Crass, violent show like "fool me twice.
" It's a sweet, romantic show "fool me twice.
" It's a sweet, romantic show about love.
It's a sweet, romantic show about love.
A contestant's hair is on about love.
A contestant's hair is on fire! A contestant's hair is on fire! Ugh! For the last time Neil, fire! Ugh! For the last time Neil, the infirmary's next door! Ugh! For the last time Neil, the infirmary's next door! Thank you, ma'am! The infirmary's next door! Thank you, ma'am! Anyway Thank you, ma'am! Anyway Our audience wants to see anyway Our audience wants to see couples they can love, and I our audience wants to see couples they can love, and I fear you may not be likable or couples they can love, and I fear you may not be likable or relatable enough for our fear you may not be likable or relatable enough for our viewers.
Relatable enough for our viewers.
It's okay, Mitch.
Viewers.
It's okay, Mitch.
Our wedding will still be fine it's okay, Mitch.
Our wedding will still be fine without flowers or anything else our wedding will still be fine without flowers or anything else a wedding usually has.
Without flowers or anything else a wedding usually has.
A wedding usually has.
No one tells my girl where she No one tells my girl where she can and can't be on TV! No one tells my girl where she can and can't be on TV! She's a goddess! Can and can't be on TV! She's a goddess! You couldn't even handle her! She's a goddess! You couldn't even handle her! Mitch! Calm down! You couldn't even handle her! Mitch! Calm down! Hmm.
Now, this I like.
Mitch! Calm down! Hmm.
Now, this I like.
You guys are in.
Hmm.
Now, this I like.
You guys are in.
Wait.
What? You guys are in.
Wait.
What? I said you're in.
- Wait.
What? - I said you're in.
- I said you're in.
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Let's go win ourselves a Whoo-hoo! Let's go win ourselves a wedding! Let's go win ourselves a wedding! Wedding! I'm gonna get the biggest I'm gonna get the biggest bonus.
I'm gonna get the biggest bonus.
Dude, it's bonus.
Dude, it's starting.
Dude, it's starting.
Turn it up! Turn it up! Starting.
Turn it up! Turn it up! Try not to get crumbs turn it up! Turn it up! Try not to get crumbs on the floor.
Try not to get crumbs on the floor.
I've noticed an ant problem on the floor.
I've noticed an ant problem lately.
I've noticed an ant problem lately.
Muscle man's on a lately.
Muscle man's on a game show so he can afford his Muscle man's on a game show so he can afford his lavish wedding.
Game show so he can afford his lavish wedding.
Make room for me on lavish wedding.
Make room for me on the couch.
Make room for me on the couch.
Hello, everybody, and welcome the couch.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to "married and broke.
" Hello, everybody, and welcome to "married and broke.
" It's me, your host, to "married and broke.
" It's me, your host, Mr.
Kyle garrity.
It's me, your host, Mr.
Kyle garrity.
Let's meet our couples.
Mr.
Kyle garrity.
Let's meet our couples.
Hello there.
What's your story? Let's meet our couples.
Hello there.
What's your story? Well, we sell puppies.
Hello there.
What's your story? Well, we sell puppies.
But, you know, with the well, we sell puppies.
But, you know, with the economy, we couldn't sell enough but, you know, with the economy, we couldn't sell enough puppies to afford our wedding.
Economy, we couldn't sell enough puppies to afford our wedding.
Can we get a close-up on puppies to afford our wedding.
Can we get a close-up on that, Hank? Can we get a close-up on that, Hank? Ooh! That is one young dog.
That, Hank? Ooh! That is one young dog.
Ooh! That is one young dog.
How about you two? How about you two? Well, thanks for asking, how about you two? Well, thanks for asking, Kyle.
Well, thanks for asking, Kyle.
We learned, about five years Kyle.
We learned, about five years ago, that there are orphans.
We learned, about five years ago, that there are orphans.
So, like, we are a foundation to ago, that there are orphans.
So, like, we are a foundation to end orphanism.
So, like, we are a foundation to end orphanism.
End orphanism.
But we're a non-profit, so we But we're a non-profit, so we need to, like, pay the orphans but we're a non-profit, so we need to, like, pay the orphans to put together our wedding.
Need to, like, pay the orphans to put together our wedding.
That's so honorable.
To put together our wedding.
That's so honorable.
Our next contestants, that's so honorable.
Our next contestants, Teddy and Tina! Our next contestants, Teddy and Tina! Thank you.
Thank you.
- Teddy and Tina! - Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- We lost our wedding fund, We lost our wedding fund, tragically, while fighting in we lost our wedding fund, tragically, while fighting in the army for our great country.
Tragically, while fighting in the army for our great country.
We were carrying the money on the army for our great country.
We were carrying the money on our backs, but a grenade blew it we were carrying the money on our backs, but a grenade blew it up while we saved an entire our backs, but a grenade blew it up while we saved an entire platoon from a rebel attack.
Up while we saved an entire platoon from a rebel attack.
But we'd do it again.
Platoon from a rebel attack.
But we'd do it again.
For America! But we'd do it again.
For America! For America! And you two.
And you two.
You Uh And you two.
You Uh What's, uh You Uh What's, uh What's all this about? What's, uh What's all this about? Well, I'm, like, what's all this about? Well, I'm, like, a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
Well, I'm, like, a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
And we want 10-foot onion rings a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
And we want 10-foot onion rings at our wedding, so that's what and we want 10-foot onion rings at our wedding, so that's what we want to pay for.
At our wedding, so that's what we want to pay for.
We want to pay for.
Well, aren't you good at Well, aren't you good at stating the idea of the show.
Well, aren't you good at stating the idea of the show.
Now for the rules.
Stating the idea of the show.
Now for the rules.
You will compete in a set of now for the rules.
You will compete in a set of really crazy physical you will compete in a set of really crazy physical challenges.
Really crazy physical challenges.
The last couple standing wins challenges.
The last couple standing wins the free wedding.
The last couple standing wins the free wedding.
May the worst couple fail.
The free wedding.
May the worst couple fail.
May the worst couple fail.
Huh! Ho! Huh! Ho! Huh! Ho! Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh, come on! Oh, come on! Yeah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh, no, bro! Oh, no, bro! - Oh, no, bro! - We made it at the last second.
We made it at the last second.
We made it at the last second.
And we're left with two And we're left with two remaining teams.
And we're left with two remaining teams.
Teddy and Tina.
Remaining teams.
Teddy and Tina.
How are you two holding up? Teddy and Tina.
How are you two holding up? Well, Kyle, after that rebel how are you two holding up? Well, Kyle, after that rebel attack, we're just happy to be well, Kyle, after that rebel attack, we're just happy to be here.
Attack, we're just happy to be here.
It's like a dream.
Here.
It's like a dream.
Ah! It's like a dream.
Ah! An American dream! - Ah! - An American dream! - An American dream! - And, in a very unlikely turn, And, in a very unlikely turn, these guys.
And, in a very unlikely turn, these guys.
Them.
These guys.
Them.
Well, on to the final round Them.
Well, on to the final round "cross the threshold"! Well, on to the final round "cross the threshold"! The first team to carry their "cross the threshold"! The first team to carry their fiancée across every threshold the first team to carry their fiancée across every threshold and ring the wed-ding dong wins! Fiancée across every threshold and ring the wed-ding dong wins! - And ring the wed-ding dong wins! - Uh, doesn't this Uh, doesn't this obstacle course look kinda like Uh, doesn't this obstacle course look kinda like the one from Obstacle course look kinda like the one from what?! Are we made of money?! The one from what?! Are we made of money?! On your marks! What?! Are we made of money?! On your marks! Get set.
On your marks! Get set.
Mitch Get set.
Mitch We got this, Mitch We got this, babe.
We got this, babe.
Go! - Babe.
- Go! Mitch! Mitch! Suck it in.
Come on, babe.
Mitch! Hey! Starla, come on! We gotta Mitch! We gotta Mitch! Huh? Mitch! Huh? Starla, what's wrong? Huh? Starla, what's wrong? Look at them, Mitch.
Starla, what's wrong? Look at them, Mitch.
Hup! Look at them, Mitch.
Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Ho! Hup! Ho! Ho! - Ho! - Ho! - Ho! - What are you What are you seeing here, babe? What are you seeing here, babe? They're the perfect couple, seeing here, babe? They're the perfect couple, Mitch.
They're the perfect couple, Mitch.
They've got something special, Mitch.
They've got something special, and everyone loves them.
They've got something special, and everyone loves them.
And where does that leave us? And everyone loves them.
And where does that leave us? We're just second-rate.
And where does that leave us? We're just second-rate.
People like us don't get cheered we're just second-rate.
People like us don't get cheered on.
People like us don't get cheered on.
They see our love, and it makes on.
They see our love, and it makes them wanna toss it.
They see our love, and it makes them wanna toss it.
Listen, starla.
Them wanna toss it.
Listen, starla.
I may have made some bad Listen, starla.
I may have made some bad investments in my life, but this I may have made some bad investments in my life, but this relationship isn't one of them.
Investments in my life, but this relationship isn't one of them.
I don't care if people like us, relationship isn't one of them.
I don't care if people like us, 'cause I love you.
I don't care if people like us, 'cause I love you.
And we've got something they 'cause I love you.
And we've got something they don't have And we've got something they don't have Passion.
Don't have Passion.
Hold on.
Passion.
Hold on.
Do those two have actual wants hold on.
Do those two have actual wants and desires? Do those two have actual wants and desires? I relate to that.
And desires? I relate to that.
Even though they're really I relate to that.
Even though they're really hard to look at, they're doing even though they're really hard to look at, they're doing it for love.
Hard to look at, they're doing it for love.
Yeah! All right! - It for love.
- Yeah! All right! Yeah! All right! I've never seen anything like I've never seen anything like that.
Toss me, Teddy.
[ Bells dinging .]
Wow! Whoo! Wow! Whoo! Could we get an instant replay wow! Whoo! Could we get an instant replay on that, Hank? Could we get an instant replay on that, Hank? On that, Hank? Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you so much.
Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you so much.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? Thank you so much.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in it.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in it.
Say it again, bro.
It.
Say it again, bro.
Say it again, bro.
Uh Uh U.
S.
A Eh? - Uh - U.
S.
A Eh? - U.
S.
A Eh? - Eh? Eh? All right.
Look, look.
Eh? All right.
Look, look.
We All right.
Look, look.
We We We sure are sorry.
We sure are sorry.
We can't help it.
We sure are sorry.
We can't help it.
We're Canadians.
- We can't help it.
- We're Canadians.
- We're Canadians.
- How dare you! How dare you! So that's why they were so how dare you! So that's why they were so nice and perfect.
So that's why they were so nice and perfect.
- Nice and perfect.
- Oh, we sure feel like a Oh, we sure feel like a couple of hosers.
Oh, we sure feel like a couple of hosers.
We're just simple maple farmers.
Couple of hosers.
We're just simple maple farmers.
I ride my moose to work, just we're just simple maple farmers.
I ride my moose to work, just like anyone else, and I put my I ride my moose to work, just like anyone else, and I put my hockey mask on one strap at a like anyone else, and I put my hockey mask on one strap at a time.
Hockey mask on one strap at a time.
We thought having a big, fancy time.
We thought having a big, fancy American wedding for free was we thought having a big, fancy American wedding for free was more important then telling the American wedding for free was more important then telling the truth.
More important then telling the truth.
And we're sorry.
- Truth.
- And we're sorry.
- And we're sorry.
- Get get them out of my sight.
Get get them out of my sight.
They are disqualified! - Get get them out of my sight.
- They are disqualified! - They are disqualified! - I'm sorry I forgot your names I'm sorry I forgot your names before, but television glorifies I'm sorry I forgot your names before, but television glorifies beautiful people.
Before, but television glorifies beautiful people.
I've actually struggled with my beautiful people.
I've actually struggled with my looks for years.
I've actually struggled with my looks for years.
That's why I grew this mustache.
Looks for years.
That's why I grew this mustache.
Otherwise, I'd look like a that's why I grew this mustache.
Otherwise, I'd look like a newborn baby.
Otherwise, I'd look like a newborn baby.
Muscle man and starla are the newborn baby.
Muscle man and starla are the winners! Muscle man and starla are the winners! Winners! I'm sorry I called us I'm sorry I called us second-rate, Mitch.
I'm sorry I called us second-rate, Mitch.
It's all right, second-rate, Mitch.
It's all right, babe.
It's all right, babe.
We'll still have a first-rate babe.
We'll still have a first-rate wedding.
We'll still have a first-rate wedding.
Could we have A blimp that wedding.
Could we have A blimp that rains barbecue sauce? Could we have A blimp that rains barbecue sauce? Rains barbecue sauce? Babe Babe Is everyone okay? I think we got them all.
Curse you, mordecai and I think we got them all.
Curse you, mordecai and rigby! Curse you, mordecai and rigby! We'll get you! Rigby! We'll get you! Thanks, pops.
We'll get you! Thanks, pops.
Oh, my pleasure! Thanks, pops.
Oh, my pleasure! So, do you think Oh, my pleasure! So, do you think muscle man and starla won that So, do you think muscle man and starla won that game show?
The jet ski channel is just two channels away.
Shut your face, channels away.
Shut your face, bro.
Shut your face, bro.
I'm trying to get ideas for bro.
I'm trying to get ideas for starla and I's wedding.
I'm trying to get ideas for starla and I's wedding.
So far, I thought of starla and I's wedding.
So far, I thought of 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, so far, I thought of 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, special seats that spin 10-foot-tall onion-ring towers, special seats that spin doughnuts, and a blimp that special seats that spin doughnuts, and a blimp that floats above the reception and doughnuts, and a blimp that floats above the reception and rains barbecue sauce on command.
Floats above the reception and rains barbecue sauce on command.
Do you have an rains barbecue sauce on command.
Do you have an unrealistically ambitious do you have an unrealistically ambitious wedding? Unrealistically ambitious wedding? No.
Wedding? No.
Then become a contestant on No.
Then become a contestant on "married and broke.
" Then become a contestant on "married and broke.
" A twisted new game show from the "married and broke.
" A twisted new game show from the makers of "fool me once, shame a twisted new game show from the makers of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I punch" makers of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I punch your face!" On you, fool me twice, I punch your face!" Your face!" Oh, I've seen this one Oh, I've seen this one at Eileen's.
Oh, I've seen this one at Eileen's.
People do the craziest stuff for at Eileen's.
People do the craziest stuff for a stupid wedding.
People do the craziest stuff for a stupid wedding.
I give it like a 2 1/2.
A stupid wedding.
I give it like a 2 1/2.
Out of what? I give it like a 2 1/2.
Out of what? I don't know.
Out of what? I don't know.
Congratulations! I don't know.
Congratulations! We're paying for the wedding of congratulations! We're paying for the wedding of your dreams! We're paying for the wedding of your dreams! Your dreams! I don't need some I don't need some demeaning game to pay for my I don't need some demeaning game to pay for my wedding.
Demeaning game to pay for my wedding.
I have all the money I could wedding.
I have all the money I could ever want.
I have all the money I could ever want.
What?! How? Ever want.
What?! How? Smart What?! How? Smart investments.
Smart investments.
Yeah, I've been using my investments.
Yeah, I've been using my paychecks to invest in a little yeah, I've been using my paychecks to invest in a little bumper stock called the paychecks to invest in a little bumper stock called the "ant-farm industry.
" Bumper stock called the "ant-farm industry.
" Ant farms? "Ant-farm industry.
" Ant farms? So I'm pretty Ant farms? So I'm pretty much basically rich.
So I'm pretty much basically rich.
- Much basically rich.
- Talk to me.
Talk to me.
Muscle man, it's your talk to me.
Muscle man, it's your stockbroker.
Muscle man, it's your stockbroker.
I'm calling to tell you that, stockbroker.
I'm calling to tell you that, uh, yeah, ant farms are not I'm calling to tell you that, uh, yeah, ant farms are not real.
Uh, yeah, ant farms are not real.
Not a real thing to invest in.
Real.
Not a real thing to invest in.
A very bad investment.
Not a real thing to invest in.
A very bad investment.
And, uh, I am not an accredited a very bad investment.
And, uh, I am not an accredited stockbroker.
And, uh, I am not an accredited stockbroker.
What are you stockbroker.
What are you saying, Maurice? What are you saying, Maurice? Oh, boy.
You got no money.
Saying, Maurice? Oh, boy.
You got no money.
You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh, boy.
You got no money.
You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh-ho-ho! You just got a bunch of ants.
Oh-ho-ho! Good luck with the rest of your Oh-ho-ho! Good luck with the rest of your life! Good luck with the rest of your life! Life! What was that all What was that all about? What was that all about? - About? - Babe? Babe? Babe.
Babe? Babe.
The flowers for our wedding? Babe.
The flowers for our wedding? They're so expensive.
The flowers for our wedding? They're so expensive.
You won't believe how expensive they're so expensive.
You won't believe how expensive they are! You won't believe how expensive they are! Oh, come on.
They are! Oh, come on.
Like, how many ant farms are we Oh, come on.
Like, how many ant farms are we talking here? Like, how many ant farms are we talking here? Mitch, they don't take ant talking here? Mitch, they don't take ant farms.
Mitch, they don't take ant farms.
Farms.
"So, that's why we want to be on" "So, that's why we want to be on your" "So, that's why we want to be on your Show.
" "Your Show.
" Thank you.
Show.
" Thank you.
"Married and broke" isn't a thank you.
"Married and broke" isn't a crass, violent show like "married and broke" isn't a crass, violent show like "fool me twice.
" Crass, violent show like "fool me twice.
" It's a sweet, romantic show "fool me twice.
" It's a sweet, romantic show about love.
It's a sweet, romantic show about love.
A contestant's hair is on about love.
A contestant's hair is on fire! A contestant's hair is on fire! Ugh! For the last time Neil, fire! Ugh! For the last time Neil, the infirmary's next door! Ugh! For the last time Neil, the infirmary's next door! Thank you, ma'am! The infirmary's next door! Thank you, ma'am! Anyway Thank you, ma'am! Anyway Our audience wants to see anyway Our audience wants to see couples they can love, and I our audience wants to see couples they can love, and I fear you may not be likable or couples they can love, and I fear you may not be likable or relatable enough for our fear you may not be likable or relatable enough for our viewers.
Relatable enough for our viewers.
It's okay, Mitch.
Viewers.
It's okay, Mitch.
Our wedding will still be fine it's okay, Mitch.
Our wedding will still be fine without flowers or anything else our wedding will still be fine without flowers or anything else a wedding usually has.
Without flowers or anything else a wedding usually has.
A wedding usually has.
No one tells my girl where she No one tells my girl where she can and can't be on TV! No one tells my girl where she can and can't be on TV! She's a goddess! Can and can't be on TV! She's a goddess! You couldn't even handle her! She's a goddess! You couldn't even handle her! Mitch! Calm down! You couldn't even handle her! Mitch! Calm down! Hmm.
Now, this I like.
Mitch! Calm down! Hmm.
Now, this I like.
You guys are in.
Hmm.
Now, this I like.
You guys are in.
Wait.
What? You guys are in.
Wait.
What? I said you're in.
- Wait.
What? - I said you're in.
- I said you're in.
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Let's go win ourselves a Whoo-hoo! Let's go win ourselves a wedding! Let's go win ourselves a wedding! Wedding! I'm gonna get the biggest I'm gonna get the biggest bonus.
I'm gonna get the biggest bonus.
Dude, it's bonus.
Dude, it's starting.
Dude, it's starting.
Turn it up! Turn it up! Starting.
Turn it up! Turn it up! Try not to get crumbs turn it up! Turn it up! Try not to get crumbs on the floor.
Try not to get crumbs on the floor.
I've noticed an ant problem on the floor.
I've noticed an ant problem lately.
I've noticed an ant problem lately.
Muscle man's on a lately.
Muscle man's on a game show so he can afford his Muscle man's on a game show so he can afford his lavish wedding.
Game show so he can afford his lavish wedding.
Make room for me on lavish wedding.
Make room for me on the couch.
Make room for me on the couch.
Hello, everybody, and welcome the couch.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to "married and broke.
" Hello, everybody, and welcome to "married and broke.
" It's me, your host, to "married and broke.
" It's me, your host, Mr.
Kyle garrity.
It's me, your host, Mr.
Kyle garrity.
Let's meet our couples.
Mr.
Kyle garrity.
Let's meet our couples.
Hello there.
What's your story? Let's meet our couples.
Hello there.
What's your story? Well, we sell puppies.
Hello there.
What's your story? Well, we sell puppies.
But, you know, with the well, we sell puppies.
But, you know, with the economy, we couldn't sell enough but, you know, with the economy, we couldn't sell enough puppies to afford our wedding.
Economy, we couldn't sell enough puppies to afford our wedding.
Can we get a close-up on puppies to afford our wedding.
Can we get a close-up on that, Hank? Can we get a close-up on that, Hank? Ooh! That is one young dog.
That, Hank? Ooh! That is one young dog.
Ooh! That is one young dog.
How about you two? How about you two? Well, thanks for asking, how about you two? Well, thanks for asking, Kyle.
Well, thanks for asking, Kyle.
We learned, about five years Kyle.
We learned, about five years ago, that there are orphans.
We learned, about five years ago, that there are orphans.
So, like, we are a foundation to ago, that there are orphans.
So, like, we are a foundation to end orphanism.
So, like, we are a foundation to end orphanism.
End orphanism.
But we're a non-profit, so we But we're a non-profit, so we need to, like, pay the orphans but we're a non-profit, so we need to, like, pay the orphans to put together our wedding.
Need to, like, pay the orphans to put together our wedding.
That's so honorable.
To put together our wedding.
That's so honorable.
Our next contestants, that's so honorable.
Our next contestants, Teddy and Tina! Our next contestants, Teddy and Tina! Thank you.
Thank you.
- Teddy and Tina! - Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- We lost our wedding fund, We lost our wedding fund, tragically, while fighting in we lost our wedding fund, tragically, while fighting in the army for our great country.
Tragically, while fighting in the army for our great country.
We were carrying the money on the army for our great country.
We were carrying the money on our backs, but a grenade blew it we were carrying the money on our backs, but a grenade blew it up while we saved an entire our backs, but a grenade blew it up while we saved an entire platoon from a rebel attack.
Up while we saved an entire platoon from a rebel attack.
But we'd do it again.
Platoon from a rebel attack.
But we'd do it again.
For America! But we'd do it again.
For America! For America! And you two.
And you two.
You Uh And you two.
You Uh What's, uh You Uh What's, uh What's all this about? What's, uh What's all this about? Well, I'm, like, what's all this about? Well, I'm, like, a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
Well, I'm, like, a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
And we want 10-foot onion rings a guy, and she's, like, a chick.
And we want 10-foot onion rings at our wedding, so that's what and we want 10-foot onion rings at our wedding, so that's what we want to pay for.
At our wedding, so that's what we want to pay for.
We want to pay for.
Well, aren't you good at Well, aren't you good at stating the idea of the show.
Well, aren't you good at stating the idea of the show.
Now for the rules.
Stating the idea of the show.
Now for the rules.
You will compete in a set of now for the rules.
You will compete in a set of really crazy physical you will compete in a set of really crazy physical challenges.
Really crazy physical challenges.
The last couple standing wins challenges.
The last couple standing wins the free wedding.
The last couple standing wins the free wedding.
May the worst couple fail.
The free wedding.
May the worst couple fail.
May the worst couple fail.
Huh! Ho! Huh! Ho! Huh! Ho! Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh, come on! Oh, come on! Yeah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh, no, bro! Oh, no, bro! - Oh, no, bro! - We made it at the last second.
We made it at the last second.
We made it at the last second.
And we're left with two And we're left with two remaining teams.
And we're left with two remaining teams.
Teddy and Tina.
Remaining teams.
Teddy and Tina.
How are you two holding up? Teddy and Tina.
How are you two holding up? Well, Kyle, after that rebel how are you two holding up? Well, Kyle, after that rebel attack, we're just happy to be well, Kyle, after that rebel attack, we're just happy to be here.
Attack, we're just happy to be here.
It's like a dream.
Here.
It's like a dream.
Ah! It's like a dream.
Ah! An American dream! - Ah! - An American dream! - An American dream! - And, in a very unlikely turn, And, in a very unlikely turn, these guys.
And, in a very unlikely turn, these guys.
Them.
These guys.
Them.
Well, on to the final round Them.
Well, on to the final round "cross the threshold"! Well, on to the final round "cross the threshold"! The first team to carry their "cross the threshold"! The first team to carry their fiancée across every threshold the first team to carry their fiancée across every threshold and ring the wed-ding dong wins! Fiancée across every threshold and ring the wed-ding dong wins! - And ring the wed-ding dong wins! - Uh, doesn't this Uh, doesn't this obstacle course look kinda like Uh, doesn't this obstacle course look kinda like the one from Obstacle course look kinda like the one from what?! Are we made of money?! The one from what?! Are we made of money?! On your marks! What?! Are we made of money?! On your marks! Get set.
On your marks! Get set.
Mitch Get set.
Mitch We got this, Mitch We got this, babe.
We got this, babe.
Go! - Babe.
- Go! Mitch! Mitch! Suck it in.
Come on, babe.
Mitch! Hey! Starla, come on! We gotta Mitch! We gotta Mitch! Huh? Mitch! Huh? Starla, what's wrong? Huh? Starla, what's wrong? Look at them, Mitch.
Starla, what's wrong? Look at them, Mitch.
Hup! Look at them, Mitch.
Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Ho! Hup! Ho! Ho! - Ho! - Ho! - Ho! - What are you What are you seeing here, babe? What are you seeing here, babe? They're the perfect couple, seeing here, babe? They're the perfect couple, Mitch.
They're the perfect couple, Mitch.
They've got something special, Mitch.
They've got something special, and everyone loves them.
They've got something special, and everyone loves them.
And where does that leave us? And everyone loves them.
And where does that leave us? We're just second-rate.
And where does that leave us? We're just second-rate.
People like us don't get cheered we're just second-rate.
People like us don't get cheered on.
People like us don't get cheered on.
They see our love, and it makes on.
They see our love, and it makes them wanna toss it.
They see our love, and it makes them wanna toss it.
Listen, starla.
Them wanna toss it.
Listen, starla.
I may have made some bad Listen, starla.
I may have made some bad investments in my life, but this I may have made some bad investments in my life, but this relationship isn't one of them.
Investments in my life, but this relationship isn't one of them.
I don't care if people like us, relationship isn't one of them.
I don't care if people like us, 'cause I love you.
I don't care if people like us, 'cause I love you.
And we've got something they 'cause I love you.
And we've got something they don't have And we've got something they don't have Passion.
Don't have Passion.
Hold on.
Passion.
Hold on.
Do those two have actual wants hold on.
Do those two have actual wants and desires? Do those two have actual wants and desires? I relate to that.
And desires? I relate to that.
Even though they're really I relate to that.
Even though they're really hard to look at, they're doing even though they're really hard to look at, they're doing it for love.
Hard to look at, they're doing it for love.
Yeah! All right! - It for love.
- Yeah! All right! Yeah! All right! I've never seen anything like I've never seen anything like that.
Toss me, Teddy.
[ Bells dinging .]
Wow! Whoo! Wow! Whoo! Could we get an instant replay wow! Whoo! Could we get an instant replay on that, Hank? Could we get an instant replay on that, Hank? On that, Hank? Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you so much.
Thank you! Thanks, everyone! Thank you so much.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? Thank you so much.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? U.
S.
A.
, eh? Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
, eh? Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in Huh? Hold up.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in it.
U.
S.
A.
only has three letters in it.
Say it again, bro.
It.
Say it again, bro.
Say it again, bro.
Uh Uh U.
S.
A Eh? - Uh - U.
S.
A Eh? - U.
S.
A Eh? - Eh? Eh? All right.
Look, look.
Eh? All right.
Look, look.
We All right.
Look, look.
We We We sure are sorry.
We sure are sorry.
We can't help it.
We sure are sorry.
We can't help it.
We're Canadians.
- We can't help it.
- We're Canadians.
- We're Canadians.
- How dare you! How dare you! So that's why they were so how dare you! So that's why they were so nice and perfect.
So that's why they were so nice and perfect.
- Nice and perfect.
- Oh, we sure feel like a Oh, we sure feel like a couple of hosers.
Oh, we sure feel like a couple of hosers.
We're just simple maple farmers.
Couple of hosers.
We're just simple maple farmers.
I ride my moose to work, just we're just simple maple farmers.
I ride my moose to work, just like anyone else, and I put my I ride my moose to work, just like anyone else, and I put my hockey mask on one strap at a like anyone else, and I put my hockey mask on one strap at a time.
Hockey mask on one strap at a time.
We thought having a big, fancy time.
We thought having a big, fancy American wedding for free was we thought having a big, fancy American wedding for free was more important then telling the American wedding for free was more important then telling the truth.
More important then telling the truth.
And we're sorry.
- Truth.
- And we're sorry.
- And we're sorry.
- Get get them out of my sight.
Get get them out of my sight.
They are disqualified! - Get get them out of my sight.
- They are disqualified! - They are disqualified! - I'm sorry I forgot your names I'm sorry I forgot your names before, but television glorifies I'm sorry I forgot your names before, but television glorifies beautiful people.
Before, but television glorifies beautiful people.
I've actually struggled with my beautiful people.
I've actually struggled with my looks for years.
I've actually struggled with my looks for years.
That's why I grew this mustache.
Looks for years.
That's why I grew this mustache.
Otherwise, I'd look like a that's why I grew this mustache.
Otherwise, I'd look like a newborn baby.
Otherwise, I'd look like a newborn baby.
Muscle man and starla are the newborn baby.
Muscle man and starla are the winners! Muscle man and starla are the winners! Winners! I'm sorry I called us I'm sorry I called us second-rate, Mitch.
I'm sorry I called us second-rate, Mitch.
It's all right, second-rate, Mitch.
It's all right, babe.
It's all right, babe.
We'll still have a first-rate babe.
We'll still have a first-rate wedding.
We'll still have a first-rate wedding.
Could we have A blimp that wedding.
Could we have A blimp that rains barbecue sauce? Could we have A blimp that rains barbecue sauce? Rains barbecue sauce? Babe Babe Is everyone okay? I think we got them all.
Curse you, mordecai and I think we got them all.
Curse you, mordecai and rigby! Curse you, mordecai and rigby! We'll get you! Rigby! We'll get you! Thanks, pops.
We'll get you! Thanks, pops.
Oh, my pleasure! Thanks, pops.
Oh, my pleasure! So, do you think Oh, my pleasure! So, do you think muscle man and starla won that So, do you think muscle man and starla won that game show?