Remington Steele (1982) s02e09 Episode Script

Steele Knuckles and Glass Jaws

- Something wrong, Mildred? - What's everybody staring at? - Give me my baby! - I say he's mine.
If you don't bring that child to me I'll personally cut your heart out.
- He's a fighter? - The Kilkenny Kid, the Pride of the Pampas.
What round is Flynn gonna take the Hammer? - Have you ever cornered a fight, Miss Holt? - Hundreds of times.
Floor the bum! Hey! I like that music! Thank God! Feelin' strong, Barney.
Strong! Strong don't mean nothing without defense, kid.
You've never met a fighter like Flynn.
He's crafty and experienced.
One mistake, and it's "Good night, Irene.
" You've gotta be ready.
I am ready.
This is my fight.
This is my time! Face it, Barney.
You just can't admit that things are looking good.
Kid, things ain't been lookin' good since Kennedy was president.
Holy! It's Max.
It was Max.
Gee! Dear God! I don't believe it.
I'm afraid it's a fact oflife, sir.
A woman and her makeup cannot be rushed.
The woman's never been late for a client in her life but ask her out to dinner and she changes time zones! - Got a hot date tonight, huh, boss? - Nothing of the kind.
Purely a professional evening, Mildred.
Good for employee morale.
Keep the troops motivated and everything like that.
Your time's coming up soon, Mildred.
Remington Steele Investigations.
Oh, I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number.
No, sir, there's no Kilkenny Kid here.
- Sir, I- - Mildred, give it to me.
Give it to me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, Steele here.
Barney? What are you doing here? I see.
Where? Mobilia's Gym.
Okay.
Right.
I'll be there.
Here I am.
A vision in rose.
- Ah, Laura, yes.
- Yes.
Yes, wonderful.
I think just a touch more mascara should do it.
Take your time, and I shall see you at the restaurant, okay? Cheers.
See you then.
Bye.
Still working your fighters too hard, eh, Kiernan? Your man there looks half dead.
A long time, kid.
- Whoa, take it easy.
- I thought you said he was a friend.
He is.
He is.
But he has a funny way of showing it.
Still not getting all your weight behind your punches, kid.
- He's a fighter? - The Kilkenny Kid, the Pride of the Pampas.
- That last bit was my touch.
- Ancient history, Barney.
But then what's 12 years of nothing between friends, eh? I'm a busy man, and your call said there was a problem of life and death so let's have it, eh? It's simple, Barney.
You pick up the phone and call the police.
It ain't that simple, kid.
Why, Mr.
Steele, what an unexpected pleasure! Ah, Laura! Oh, you remembered! Hello, I'm Laura Holt, Mr.
Steele's associate.
Just here to help out in any way I can.
- Barney Kiernan.
- Barney Kiernan.
- Hello.
And you're- - Herschel Sinclair but most people just call me Hammer.
- How are you? - This really isn't a place for a young lady.
I've been in locker rooms before, and I'm quite happy here.
Thank you.
He looks a little out of it.
- Well, Laura- - No, no, no, no.
Don't let me interrupt.
What seems to be the trouble here? I don't want to alarm you, gentlemen, but this man is dead.
- She's good, kid.
- Very.
- Who is he? - Friend of mine named Max Thursday.
- Oh, I see.
- We went through the subterfuge of putting him in that getup so nobody would know it was Max and that he was dead.
- Why? - Somebody drilled Max in the ribs.
But before he expired he came here, and he put a package in Hammer's locker.
We- that is the Hammer- didn't think it was in the best interest of the package to call the police.
I don't quite follow you- Oh, for goodness' sakes! Okay.
The Hanged Man.
Your life is in suspension.
Someone holds you by a string.
Torrance.
The Empress.
A symbol of motherhood.
Something in a woman's power is exerting a great influence.
You must answer to the Empress.
Leave the cards.
Thank you very much.
We found his car, abandoned, near the warehouse district.
Blood all over the seat.
Johnny must've hit him after all.
But the rain washed away his trail.
I want everyone in the street.
I don't care whose hands get caught in car doors.
I want that baby.
Do you understand? No police! This child's in trouble.
Max died bringing him to me, and I'm not gonna turn him over to no police! Come on, kid.
Help us find out who this little papoose is - and what this is all about.
- You know the police would only hand him over to the hospital.
- Yeah.
- Hello.
There'd be publicity.
If someone did wanna harm the little baby- You're right, Miss Holt.
We've got a great responsibility here.
- It's in my charts! - Your what? - Oh, God help us.
- My astrological charts.
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
- You'll give him right back? - Yes.
- My sister does them for me each month.
- Oh, yeah.
You see? Virgo rising, the House of Saturn.
All right, it says here for this week that personal success is linked to great responsibility.
- Uh-huh.
- It all fits.
Personal success- my fight in two days- is linked to great responsibility.
That's the baby.
It's gotta be! So, I'm not lettin' this kid out of my sight until we find out who his mama and his papa is.
'Cause I don't mess with the stars.
A million fighters in this world and I'm stuck with Galileo.
- Where is he? - Upstairs.
Barney you didn't by any chance invite anyone else to your little soiree, did you? - Not me, kid.
- Have a look.
I know you're wet.
We're all wet.
If you'll just let me change you, maybe we'll all feel better.
- Ha! Oh! - You're supposed to change him, Laura not gift-wrap him.
You could make yourself useful and get the formula.
Maybe that will work.
Well, it hasn't the last three times, but whatever Mother wants, eh? I don't need sarcasm now, not after last night.
Night? Was there a night? All I can seem to recall is wandering around in endless circles to the ceaseless accompaniment of infantile screaming.
Be careful about the bottle.
I didn't tighten the top.
Thank you.
You know, you really can't blame him.
How would you like to wake up in a gym locker and then spend the night with total strangers? Actually, I've done it.
It wasn't bad.
We don't even know his name.
Try Caruso.
If this is what parenthood is all about I can see why it's an imperiled institution.
Ah, there you go.
Oh, well done, Laura.
Well done.
If we can just keep him quiet for half an hour, maybe 15 minutes or so- Everybody up! Gotta hit the road! Couldn't you hitch yourself to a dog? - You can muzzle a dog.
- 'Cause the charts don't say dog.
They say baby.
Now, come on.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I- I- - Mr.
Steele? - Ah.
Auntie Mildred.
Do come in.
Come here.
Something wrong, Mildred? What's everybody staring at? Come on.
We got work to do.
Miss Holt, you really think it's such a good idea to bring the baby along? You want to tell Hammer he can't have his way? Particularly since he's the only one with a knack for keeping the little bugger quiet.
Tell us about the dead man, Barney.
He's the only lead we have.
Could he have been into kidnapping or black market babies? Max? Not a chance.
He's a mousy little guy.
A two-bit bookie, scared of his own shadow.
Did he have friends, relatives, anything we could go on? Well, the Hammer's the closest thing to a friend he had.
He only let Max hang around the gym because he felt sorry for him.
What about those men at the gym last night? - Any idea who they were? - Haven't a clue.
A man is shot.
Still, he manages to live long enough to put a baby in a locker.
Someone must want that baby badly enough to kill for him.
Why? Just two more miles, kid! He's got a lot of energy.
- Who's he fighting tomorrow? - Billy Flynn.
Blazing Billy Flynn? He's ranked number two heavyweight, isn't he? Yeah, but he's outta shape.
He walked through his last two fights.
He barely won them on points.
Besides, I like the underdog.
That's why I trained you, kid.
You taught Mr.
Steele how to fight? That's right, Miss.
I created the Kilkenny Kid, the- - It was a lifetime ago, Laura.
- Oh, in Ireland? - In South America.
- South America.
- It's a long story.
- No, it's a short story and it's just come to an end.
Judging by his apartment, Max was about as colorful as a rainy day in Baltimore.
The name downstairs says Max Thursday.
- Max, I know.
You, I don't.
- Oh.
Shame he didn't introduce us sooner.
Best bookie in town, eh? You here alone, pal? That's right.
And since you're familiar with the door, I suggest that you, uh- Then, uh, this must be yours.
You know- No, it's mine.
And you can tell my husband he can send all the detectives he likes.
Herman and I don't care anymore.
You don't say? Well, that's all very brave talk.
In a city full of hotel rooms, you two come to this dump to have a good time.
- That what you're telling me? - She's telling you to take- I'm not asking you, sport.
I'm listening, honey.
You don't seem to understand.
I'm the bad guy.
I work for a very powerful man.
Now, if I don't find something for him, he's gonna be very upset.
You know anything about it, pal? - Mm-mmm.
- I can't hear you.
He said no! I hope not.
Mr.
Barber doesn't like for me to ask people a second time.
It's Torrance, Mr.
Barber.
- Barber.
- Hello, Joseph.
How are you? Fine, Anthony.
Fine.
Hey, I understand you're having some personal problems.
- Anything I can do to help? - I can take care of things.
That's good.
I wouldn't want anything to interfere with business.
- I said- - I heard ya! I'm a little concerned, Joseph.
Ever since your son's accident, you know some people say you've gone a little batty taken to fortune-tellers or something.
- Fools will say anything.
- Yeah, maybe.
But a lot of people have invested a lot of money in your casino operation, Joseph.
They have not seen dime one.
You know I'm taking a lot of heat.
You tell me, "Wait till tomorrow night!" I say, "Fine!" But that's it! This is business, Joseph! Some people say I shouldn't have let the problem go this long.
Some people have short memories.
I've always come through, and it's no different this time.
You'll get your money.
You better have something good for me.
No one at the gym seems to have seen anything.
We're still asking around though.
Went over to Thursday's place though.
Ran into a couple there a little too clever for themselves.
Take a look at this.
Well, we'll have to cancel all photo calls for today.
Oh, that's it! Laugh it up.
Yes.
We're almost killed by Attila the Thug- Ouch! The baby we're protecting is wanted by Joseph Barber, the biggest gangster in L.
A and all you can do is make jokes about my profile.
- Ooh! - What do you expect me to do, sulk? The baby needs us.
Feeling sorry for yourself isn't helping a thing.
- Just what do you mean by that? - You and Barney and South America and whatever that's all about.
Why don't you concentrate on your present and forget your damn past? I'm sorry.
That was out of line.
The truth is - I'm just scared.
- Okay.
Okay.
Then it's unanimous.
- Ooh! - I'm sorry.
I'll get some ice.
Actually, Laura, I don't really want to cool off just now.
Mr.
Barber wants to see you.
Ah, the kind of pungent dialogue found only in the better comic books.
All right, gentlemen, easy on the cloth.
What about comic book- Hello? Remington Steele Investigations.
Yes, Mildred.
Is everything all right? It's fine.
Except Hammer keeps dropping his right.
And the baby has a little cough.
But I'm gonna call my sister Eunice in Seattle, and I'll get Mother's remedy.
Oh! Can you pick up some extra formula on your way over? Yeah, yeah.
I think I have enough cash.
I'll see you soon.
Oh, no! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, sister Eunice.
They'll talk forever.
Jab.
! Jab.
! Come on.
Throw that right.
! Keep it up there.
Keep the right up.
Bob and weave in there.
Come on.
Throw it.
! Come on.
Use that left! That's it.
All right, take it again.
Throw that right real- Oh, good.
Did you bring the formula? Hammer, don't! Give me my baby! - Your baby? - That's right.
Tell her to give him to me.
- Oh! Shhh! - Come here, Mildred.
Oh, sweet baby.
Give him to me.
Oh, shhh.
Okay.
All right.
You say he's your baby.
I say he's mine.
Now, what are you going to do about it, shoot me? You might hit the baby.
Or I might drop him.
And then you'd have to shoot all of us because they won't give you my baby either.
He's not your baby! He's mine! You're never going to prove it with that gun! I just want my baby.
Okay.
Here's your baby.
What made you do a thing like that? Old story about a fella named Solomon.
You can go, Moody.
I know you have some errands you want to run.
Know anything about gardening, Mr.
Steele? - Not much.
- Teaches a man patience.
The importance of grooming things.
I've been building something in this town for a long time- a foundation for my family.
But my dear wife, may her soul rest in peace gave me only one child, a boy.
Phone call.
- I said no calls now! - But it's Billy Flynn.
He said- I said no calls.
! My son was, uh, killed three months ago, Mr.
Steele.
Somebody put a bomb in his car.
Yes.
The papers said it was intended for you.
I've taken care of the one responsible.
I don't think it'll ever be in the papers.
But I'm an old man now and I have only one living heir, a three-month-old baby.
And someone has taken him away from me.
Someone has stolen my grandson.
- Your grandson? - Yes.
And I think you know how to find him.
So let me tell you this.
If you don't bring that child to me I'll personally cut your heart out and no one will ever know- not the police, not the papers.
Not anything of what's left.
I was pregnant by the time I realized my father-in-law wasn't a kindly old man in the trucking business.
But my husband assured me it was gonna be all right.
He was gonna break with the family.
Two weeks later he was dead.
I'm sorry, Gina.
After that, I decided I didn't want littleJoey growing up with those people.
I tried to leave.
My father-in-law said I could go, but without the baby.
He said it was his now- his family, his blood.
So he kept you both prisoner, and you had to find a way out.
Is that where Max came in? Max.
He ran errands for my husband.
He liked me, and he loved littleJoey.
I know everyone thought Max was just a crummy hustler but he said he'd do anything for us, and he meant it.
The night we tried to get away- I don't know.
They must have been waiting 'cause it all went wrong.
Before I could stop him, Max took littleJoey and ran.
I tried to follow, but by the time I got to the gym Moody and the rest were there.
And I didn't know where littleJoey was.
That's when I saw you all leaving.
Well I can certainly understand why you brought a gun here.
Hey, we've got company.
They're not gonna get my son.
Gina, don't! - I just don't understand how you could let her go.
That's all! She pushed the baby at me.
She grabbed the blankets and ran.
- I couldn't stop her.
- Shhh! I'll never get that baby to sleep with you two carrying on like this.
I'm sorry, Mildred.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
And where did you disappear to this time? Paying an involuntary call toJoseph Barber.
He made some graphic predictions about my anatomy if I fail to return his grandson.
Yes.
Steele here.
No more games like this afternoon, Mr.
Steele.
The baby could get hurt, and nobody wants that, do they? I've got Gina, and I'll wager her life means more to you than it does to me.
Let me tell you something.
I propose a trade.
- Just wait a minute- - I want an answer tomorrow at 12:00.
That was Mr.
Barber.
He wants to trade Gina for the baby.
If we don't agree, he's gonna kill her.
I mean, even if we could get Gina back somehow without giving up the baby there's nowhere on Earth that Barber won't find them.
Then we have to find a way to stop Barber.
The police have been trying to put him on ice for 20 years.
You see how successful they've been.
And what about the Kilkenny Kid, Pride of the Pampas? Did he ever find himself up against a stronger opponent? - Constantly.
- And? - He ran like hell.
- I'm serious.
All right.
If we can't take them on strength then we look for their weaknesses, unprotected areas.
Wait for a chance to score, then back off.
But Barber- Just another fighter.
He has weaknesses too.
Gina said something about his being over his head in debt to a man named Torrance.
- Could that be something? - Yes.
I heard the name.
Operates out of the East Coast.
Very heavy in Barber's circle of friends.
Apparently, Torrance is tired of carrying Barber's debt.
Gina said the word was Barber had found a way to clear all his markers in one night.
- Phone call.
- I said no calls now.
! It's Billy Flynn.
He said- Wait a minute.
He said Billy Flynn was on the phone.
Now, Flynn fights the Hammer tomorrow night.
That's it.
- That's what? - The way to clear the markers.
The soft spot.
Grab your coat.
Grab my coat.
Okay, enough already, kid.
Let's not overdo it.
Five more minutes, Barney.
Five more! What are you doing here? You neglected to tell us that Blazing Billy Flynn is controlled by none other than Joseph Barber.
A lot of fighters fight for Barber.
So what? So I've been wondering how Hammer a fighter with only could come up against the number two heavyweight.
Well, the Hammer's earned it.
I mean, those bouts of his- Tank-town matches, Barney! We checked.
No class.
I could take half those guys! Come on, Barney.
You're the one that taught me how filthy this game can be.
Circulate rumors about a good man gone bad.
Overpraise a newcomer as the next great hope and bingo- the odds tip to youth.
Bet heavy on a designated round.
Unleash the lions against the lambs, and it's a slaughter.
- Easy money.
- I don't know what he's talking about, Miss Holt.
Oh, Barney, Barney.
This isn't some street corner in Rio.
Now, tell me what round is Flynn gonna take the Hammer? - Come on, kid- - What round, Barney? The sixth.
All right? When were you planning to tell Hammer about this? Yeah.
When, Barney? Hey, kid- - Get out, Barney.
- Now, listen, kid.
You were beggin' me for a good fight.
Well, you got a good fight.
This whole thing is blown out of proportion here.
- Now, listen, kid- - I said get out! Nice job, Herschel! You're a sly one, Miss Holt, you are.
If you hadn't have pushed me, I don't think I'd have the fire to get into the ring.
You really think we got a shot at pulling this off? You read the stars.
We can't miss.
Mr.
Torrance? Anthony Torrance? Yeah, who's this? How'd you get this number? Let's just say I know people in the right places.
Mr.
Torrance, there's something you should know aboutJoseph Barber.
I don't know anyone by that name.
You're never going to see your money.
The fix is off.
Mr.
Barber is no longer in control of the situation.
If I were you, I'd get yourself down to the ringside tonight.
- Unless you're willing to see him get out of the country.
- I-Who is this? It's all right, Mildred.
Go back to sleep.
Hey.
Hello.
So you're the next Little Caesar, eh? You don't much look the part, do you? Sit.
I'll get it.
Steele here.
All right, Barber.
It's your game now.
You've got a deal.
Gina for the baby.
- What say we make the switch at the fight tonight? - At the fight? I want a place with, uh, plenty of people around me for protection.
Say, the second round during the main event? That'll be fine, Mr.
Steele.
So, we watch the fight, and then- We kill him.
Here you go.
I'll take him.
Hello, darling.
There we go.
Come on now, mate.
It's not that bad, is it? Eh? It's not that bad.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Oh, yes.
I know.
It's tough, isn't it? Yes, I've been there many times myself.
Many times.
Always on the run.
Bounced around from place to place.
Oh, yes.
But you soon learn fast enough what you're made of, don't you, darling? Shhh.
I know you do.
I know you do.
You know what the trick to the whole thing is, Joey? It's not how many times life knocks you down.
It's how many times you pick yourself back up.
Isn't it, Joey? Did you know that? I think the Hammer's ready to go for it, but- Yes.
#And Hennessee Tennessee tootles the flute # #And the music is ever so grand # # It is the pride of dear old Ireland is MacNamara's Band # # D-D-D-Da # # B-Ba, b-bum Da da da dum # #My name is MacNamara I'm the leader of the band # #Although we're few in numbers We're the finest in the land # #Ba ba ba bum Ba-bum, ba-bum # #Ba ba ba bum ## Shouldn't Mr.
Steele be here by now? He'll be right along.
He just said he'd forgotten something that we might need.
- Right here? - Yeah.
Yeah, right there.
Oh, what am I doing? Evening, sport.
You're a bit premature, sport.
Our deal was after the second round.
That's right.
I just want to make sure you weren't planning any surprises.
Now, I think we can all take a leisurely drive over to the arena.
Why not? Ladies and gentlemen this is the main event of the evening.
Ten rounds ofboxing.
And presenting the big boys ofboxing- heavyweights! - Introducing Herschel "The Hammer"Sinclair.
! - Billy Boy! And his opponent, Blazin'Billy Flynn.
! Giving instructions- Don Clemington.
Remember, the man scoring a knockdown will go to the furthest neutral corner and remain there until I signal him to resume fighting.
Shake hands, and let's have a good fight.
First, no Barney.
Now, no Mr.
Steele.
Have you ever cornered a fight, Miss Holt? Hundreds of times.
But you can do it, Herschel.
You just look for weaknesses, unprotected areas.
And wait for a chance to score- then back off.
Come on! Come on! Let her rip! Get him! Get him! Go! Go! Amazing first-round action- Sinclair was staggered by that hook from Flynn.
He's backing into a corner now and covering up, and Flynn is all over him! Come on! Come on! Get him.
! Get him.
! Knock him out.
! And there's the bell.
That's the end of the first round, and it was all Flynn's.
Amazing! - All right.
- Mr.
Steele was right.
I'm not in this guy's league! Of course you are.
You just have to go back in there and hit him.
You look for weaknesses, unprotected areas.
- Wait for a chance to score- - And then back off.
Th-Thanks, Miss Holt.
I just gotta stay on my feet for six rounds and then Barber loses the bet, right? It's a piece of cake.
It's a piece of cake.
Ooh, that body blow really hurt Sinclair.
Oh, thatjab landed, and there appears to be a cut over the left eye of Sinclair.
He'll never make it past the sixth without my help.
You didn't want him to before, why care now? - Because I need this fight as much as the Hammer.
- Forget it! I came across a wild young brawler in a street fight in Brazil.
He was tall and thin.
He didn't look like a fighter.
But he had a dog in him thatjust wouldn't lie down.
So I trained him.
And we went from village to village, challenging all comers.
The local bullies used to take one look and throw in their life savings.
But they didn't know the kid could box.
And every one of them fell facedown into the dust.
Well, we managed to stay one step ahead of our reputation.
Well, as soon as we made some money I promised the kid I'd take him to the States and hit the big time.
I was supposed to meet him in a corner in Rio.
Well, I never showed.
I'd drunk away our life savings the night before.
So, you see, one of us wasn't ready for the big time.
It's a little late for explanations.
Yeah, but you can't help the Hammer, and I'm getting sick of bus stations.
Circle to the left, use your jab and keep up your right for crying out loud! All right, so I had a flat tire.
I'm here, ain't I? - Good evening.
- Where have you been? On a joy ride.
How are you holding up, Hammer? - Okay.
Okay.
- Good.
Good.
- What's your man doing here? - Better than a street corner in Brazil.
Okay, get him! Well, you wanna say good-bye? Bye.
It's time for you to keep your part of the bargain.
I can't leave my baby, Mr.
Steele.
- Gina, come on.
- I'm sorry.
You heard her decision, Steele.
You wouldn't separate a mother from her child? - She won't leave without the baby, will she? - No.
But it can still work.
It depends on whether Torrance shows up.
And whether Hammer's right still holds up.
Come on, Hammer! And that's the end of a brutal fifth round in a savage fight.
This is it, Billy.
He's got to go down.
Go to him hard.
I thought I was supposed to waltz with the guy for five rounds then tap him to sleep.
Instead, he's been fighting like a maniac.
- How do you feel, kid? - Good.
I feel good.
I've never seen such a glutton for punishment.
Don't worry.
I've been holding back.
This round, he goes down.
It's the sixth round.
You gotta get through this, or Barber gets away with everything.
What's he doing here? That must be Torrance over there.
Give us your neck.
Now it's all up to the Hammer.
Come on! Come on.
You can do it! Right at him, Billy.
What is holding Sinclair up? - Stand back! - Go to a neutral corner! Get up! Get up! Take the count, kid, and rest! Always right.
Always right.
- Oh! - Laura! One! Two! Three.
! Four.
! Go to your neutral corner, Flynn.
! Five.
! Six.
! Seven.
! Eight.
! You okay? You okay? You okay? You okay? All right.
It's all over now.
Come on.
! Floor the bum! That's my boy! Let's go.
Get him.
I, uh, think you and me should have a little talk, Joseph.
Come over here.
Okay, kid.
You got maybe one punch to make it.
When he goes to your body, he drops his left.
All right, let him have his punch and then set him up, step inside, and throw your uppercut.
- You got that? - Yeah.
All right, sunshine.
Let's see how you fare when the odds are even.
It'll be a pleasure, chump! nine, ten.
That's it! The Kilkenny Kid, Pride of the Pampas.
Funny, I kind of like that name for you.
Yes.
Just don't get too attached to it.
Still down on attachments, are we? Funny, I thought our little Caruso might have changed your attitude about that.
Who knows? Remington Steele might prove a good father some day.
You're dreaming, Laura.
- Am I? - Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
#And Hennessee Tennessee tootled the flute # #And the music is somethin' grand # #A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's Band # # B-B-B-Bum B- Ba, B-Bum # # B-B-B-Bum ##