Remington Steele (1982) s03e14 Episode Script
Have I Got a Steele For You
He's dead.
Who's that gentleman not taking a bath in my bathtub? - I'm not real good with death.
- You're also a murder suspect.
- Who's she? - Clarissa.
- She's a tutor.
- Who are they? - My study group.
- Sure, I remember you.
The trampoline.
And a gymnast too.
Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion- I find this gymnast here waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on.
How could anybody possibly blow this out of proportion? Give me an "H"! Give me an "A"! Give me an "R"! Give me an "O"! Give me an "L"! Give me a "D"! - Yeah, Harold! Yea! - Ah! Yeah.
! That-a-boy.
! All right.
! - Yeah.
! All right.
! - Ah! That-a-boy.
! All right, Harold.
! All right! The pride of Benjamin High.
He eludes a tackler.
- Yeah! - He sees an opening.
He slithers through the line.
And then he penetrates the hole.
There he goes! He scores! Yea! You won it all, Harold! Are you ready to put it between the uprights? Yeah! - Are those the reporters? - It's MaryJo from Channel 6.
- She's come to evaluate your performance.
- I'm ready.
I know.
I can feel it.
I'll go start the shower, swivel hips.
Yea! Yea! Harold! All right! Yea.
! Did MaryJo get anything out of y- - Hello.
- It's done.
Hello, p-police? Yeah.
Uh, police, it's awful.
Just awful.
A man's been shot.
Where? Oh, oh.
Uh, it's 2245 North Comstock.
Number 304.
Yeah.
Who am I? I'm a concerned citizen.
Please hurry! - He's dead.
- Nothing gets past you, does it, Bernard? Are you just gonna sit there, or are you gonna help me move him? - Move him where? - Out of my living room at least.
Well, then what are we gonna do with him? Oh, no! I don't even believe what is happening.
We're doomed.
I'll never graduate now.
Life's over.
My neighbors went camping for a couple of days.
We can put the body in their condo.
- Come on.
Grab a leg.
- We're dead.
That's it.
We're dead.
We will be if we don't move him.
Now, come on.
Grab a leg! I'm not real good with death.
- What'd he say? 304? - Yeah.
Keep that door open.
Start a door-to-door.
Police! Open up! - Davis, you want to check the upstairs? - Yeah.
I'll get it.
- No sign here.
- Are you sure it was 304? That's what he said.
Anything up there? Not a thing.
All right.
Let's go.
Looks like a false alarm.
- What do you make of all this? - I don't know.
Maybe it's down the hall.
Ah.
You know, you amaze me, Laura.
How someone can find so much paperwork to do when there's scarcely a case on the desk fairly boggles the mind.
The job isn't done until the paperwork is finished, Mr.
Steele.
Mmm.
I, uh- I understand there's a quaint little island just offshore where they- they never heard of paperwork, huh? Catalina, I believe it's called.
And it just so happens there's an acquaintance of mine who has generously offered the services of his whirlybird for the evening.
I thought we might, uh take it out for a spin, as it were.
- Catalina? - Mmm.
- Whirlybird? - Mmm.
Hmm.
I guess that about wraps things up.
Hi, Aunt Mildred.
Bernard! Oh! Hi, kiddo! What are you doing down here? What a surprise.
I had some business in L.
A.
Ooh.
Mr.
Steele, Miss Holt - this is my nephew Bernard from Seattle.
- Oh.
- We've heard nothing but great things about you, Bernard.
- Mmm.
Oh, he's got straight A's at U.
C.
Santa Barbara.
Oh, yeah.
Quite the entrepreneur, I believe.
- Well- - Oh.
Are you kidding? He could buy and sell Wall Street if he wasn't such an honest kid.
Oh.
I've always had a soft part in my heart for profit-makers.
- Remington Steele Investigations.
- Your aunt just brought us another one of your surefire deals.
Oh, well, even surefire deals have been known to end up dead on their feet.
It's for you, Bernard.
- Someone named Clarissa.
- Uh, excuse me.
Thank you.
Hello.
- He's something else, isn't he? - Yes.
He is indeed, Mildred.
- I love that kid.
- We've got trouble.
My neighbor's camping trip just got rained on.
They're coming home now.
What are we gonna do with the body? He always was a happy kid.
I don't know.
What do you think? You're the college kid.
You think of something.
What do you mean you're not going to pay me? You owe me $15,000.
- Tell him, Morty.
- W- Uh, our- Our problem, Mr.
Silver seems to be that well, there's no proof of Mr.
Delanian's death.
I stood as close to Delanian as I am standing to you right now.
I pulled out my.
38.
I screwed on the silencer.
And I pointed it at him, and I calmly- I- It's not that we don't believe you, Mr.
Silver.
Oh, God.
Please don't shoot me.
Then what's the problem, Morty? What do we have to do? Spell it out for you? We hired you to take Delanian out by noon tomorrow.
What good does it do us if nobody knows he's dead? Uh, technically speaking, Mr.
Silver, she is correct.
This is not the way it works.
I'm a professional.
You hired me to kill Delanian.
I killed Delanian.
That means you owe me $15,000.
Don't try to bully us, buster.
You won't get one red cent out of us until we read about Delanian's death- in headlines.
And if it's not done by tomorrow, you're fired.
Ah, Catalina, here we come.
! What's the rush, Mr.
Steele? Face it.
Anytime we've tempted fate before, it's been anything but cooperative.
Shall we get out of here? The sooner the better.
Have I got a surprise for you.
Show 'em, Bernard.
He got us tickets to Sinatra's last performance tonight at the Greek Theatre.
Isn't that fantastic? I wanted to do something special because you've been so good to Aunt Mildred.
Oh, Bernard.
That's awfully nice of you, but Miss Holt and I- We-We'd like nothing more.
- Thank you, Bernard.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.
Believe me.
We'd better hurry.
Oh.
Oh, Mr.
Steele do you mind if Bernard stays here until we get back? I could only get three tickets.
Besides, I've got a big midterm coming up that I really should study for.
Oh, he's so diligent.
Oh.
Make yourself at home, Bernard.
Yes.
- Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
- See you later.
Bye.
Have a good time.
Oh, yes, we will, Bernard.
We will.
- I'm glad you could use the tickets.
- Oh, yes.
Okay.
What's this? I was trying to make him look inconspicuous.
A dead man sitting in a convertible smoking a cigarette is inconspicuous? So, my hearse is on back order.
The least you could've done is gotten rid of his shoulder pads.
Oh.
- Let's just get him upstairs before anybody sees us.
- Right.
Good old Uncle Harold, eh? One drink too many, and he's out like a light.
Oh, but he loves these costume parties.
You mean to tell me we only have this place for another three or four hours? We can't keep lugging this guy all over town, you know.
Hey.
I said I had a plan, didn't I? What's Jill's number? Bernard, this really isn't the time to party.
- What's her number? - 555-6349.
Hi, Jill? Bernard.
No.
Don't worry.
You're not being audited.
Um, listen.
You know that steamer trunk that you've got? Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the one.
Bring it over to 5994 Rossmore, Apartment "A," right away.
Don't- Don't ask why.
Bernard, what are you doing? Hollywood, please.
Yeah.
Uh, Speedy Express.
Thank you.
H- Hello, Speedy Express? Yeah.
Uh, how soon can you get a steamer trunk to Santa Barbara? Weight? Uh, about 180 pounds.
Yeah.
It's 5994 Rossmore fifth floor, Apartment "A.
" Well, can- can you be here in an hour? Oh, terrific.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Don't be late.
We're sending your brother a belated Christmas present.
Bernard, I like your style.
Somebody's early.
- Oh, Bernard.
- Aunt Mildred.
Miss Holt.
What happened? - The concert was rained out.
- Rain? It's an outdoor theater, Bernard.
- Poor Frank never got to finish "It's a Foggy Day.
" - Who's she? Who's she? Oh.
Uh, Aunt Mildred, Miss Holt, Mr.
Steele this is Clarissa.
- She, uh, came over to help me with my Latin.
- Glad to meet you.
Excuse me.
I've gotta check in.
- Oh.
- Uh, she's a tutor.
Hi.
Sure, I remember you.
The trampoline.
Right.
And a gymnast too.
- Ah.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, uh, I'll hang up the coats.
Hmm.
No.
No, no, no.
Please.
Please, allow me! Come on, Bernard.
There's no sense in both of us getting damp.
Out of the way, son.
There you go.
Regardless of the outcome, Bernard, the- the tickets were a lovely gesture.
- Bernard.
- Bernard.
Hmm? What? Uh, Latin.
Bernard, can I have a word with you? I realize you college kids are given to pranks now and then but don't you think a dead quarterback in my bathtub is a little bit excessive? Please, Mr.
Steele.
I swear there's a good explanation.
Just, whatever you do, don't let Aunt Mildred find out.
- Good point.
I'll get rid of her.
- Bless you, Mr.
Steele.
Just as soon as she's gone, Bernard you and your Latin tutor have a lot of explaining to do.
Understand? Go.
- Is anything wrong, boss? - Oh, no, no, no.
I just wanted to thank Bernard personally for his little surprise.
It's the thought that counts.
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, hi, gorgeous.
- Hi.
- Hi, Bernard.
Hi, Clarissa.
- Who are they? - My study group.
Oh.
It's mine.
Can I use your phone, please? Please.
Go right ahead.
Yeah.
Sure.
Popular group.
- What's with the trunk? - Trunk? Oh, I hired it.
Why? I'll explain later.
Excuse me, darling.
Oops.
Sorry.
There you go.
Oops.
Speedy Express.
On time or your money back.
- We're here to pick up the steamer trunk.
- There you go.
- Oh.
- Thank you very much.
- Ah? Yeah.
Of course.
Go right ahead.
Use the phone.
All right, all right.
! What is going on around here? Sounds fun.
But I'm gonna have to charge you extra.
Well- Uh, can I call you right back? Well, Bernard, it's, uh, time to fess up, old boy.
- It is? - Oh, come on.
Let's not be bashful, old boy.
We're all familiar with the unique, uh, rituals of the fraternity initiation, hmm? Fraternity initiation? Oh, honey.
We didn't ruin it for you, did we? No, Mildred.
Actually, he still has a good chance of getting this trunk to, uh- - Santa Barbara.
- Right.
Santa Barbara.
Okay, chaps.
Take it away.
There you go.
And you can still get all those things that you got in the scavenger hunt- the- the Hollywood Boulevard street sign- The Bob Uecker baseball card.
The, uh, hubcap from the police car.
Yeah.
There you go, Laura.
Just put that coat around your shoulders.
And you too, Mildred.
There you go.
Put this little cape around your shoulders.
Don't forget your handbag.
There you go.
All right, Miss Holt.
Good night.
You too, darling.
There you go.
There's the door.
- Laura, uh, listen.
It's very wet outside.
- Night.
- Better put the coat on.
- Good luck, sweetheart.
I'll take care of him, Mildred.
Not to worry about a thing.
Good night, Laura.
- See you later.
- I don't believe it.
! - We did it! - Mr.
Steele, I like your style.
Let's forget the formalities.
Who's that gentleman not taking a bath in my bathtub? Harold Delanian.
The Harold Delanian of Delanian Engineering? That's the one.
See, we kind of found out that Delanian was about to let his company be taken over by Milgrim Industries.
- How did you find out? - Harold told me.
- Oh.
- So we decided to buy some Delanian Engineering stock.
Yeah.
I- I invested all of Clarissa and her partners' savings.
Aunt Mildred invested a large chunk of your money and because the deal was so sweet I invested funds that I sort of borrowed from the student treasury for myself.
I see.
At the risk of sounding blunt, you're a lady of the evening, are you not? We prefer to be called love brokers.
How quaint.
Then if you and your partners are love brokers - doesn't that make you their, uh- - No, no, no, no.
You see, Clarissa's brother goes to the university.
I started doing Clarissa's taxes.
She liked my work so much that she recommended me to her associates and then I began investing their excess capital.
How interesting.
You're quite an enterprising young man, are you not, Bernard? - Well, I like to keep busy.
- You're also a murder suspect.
No.
Hey.
He didn't plug the guy.
No.
Harold and I were doing the cheerleader and football star.
We do it every Thursday afternoon at the same time.
Next thing I know, he's lying on my floor, dead as a doornail.
- Well, obviously the killer knew about the routine.
- If Milgrim Industries finds out that Delanian's dead before they announce the takeover tomorrow at noon the stocks'll plummet, and we'll all lose our shirts.
But if we can just hide the body until after the announcement, we'll be home free.
Will you help us, Mr.
Steele? Please, Mr.
Steele.
Just 24 little hours.
It's not gonna make any difference to Mr.
Delanian.
Just so you know, I'm not doing this for you or your clients.
I'm only doing this to protect your sweet, innocent aunt who doesn't want to see her cherished nephew go to prison.
Uh, what are we gonna do with the body? The body.
Where does one usually deposit dearly departeds? The morgue.
- Good night, Miss Holt.
- Good night, Mildred.
Latin tutor? And gymnast? Back to Mr.
Steele's, Fred, and I'll pay for the speeding tickets.
Hello? Clarissa? Yes.
Who's this? Hi.
My name's Bill.
I'm in from San Francisco.
My cousin suggested that I call you.
He said you were a real nice girl.
Uh, well, I'm sorry, Bill, but I'm kind of busy right now.
Wait a minute.
How did you get this number? Hello? Mr.
Steele? Anybody home? - This is never gonna work.
- The Corpse Came C.
O.
D.
You mean we're gonna try to get money for him? George Brent, Joan Blondell.
Columbia, 1947.
Ayoung woman receives a box of dress goods and a corpse C.
O.
D.
- Uh-huh.
- I'll explain later.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
What have you got? Hi.
We got another, uh, guest for your hotel, okay? Hey.
Where do you think you're goin'? Well, he's all yours, buddy.
Just take him away, okay? No, no.
He- He's not all mine.
Not till the paperwork shows up, he's not mine.
- We're doomed.
- Your pal doesn't look so good.
Yeah.
What do you expect? He's dead.
That's very funny.
I meant your partner, smart guy.
I'm not real good with death.
You picked a hell of an occupation, kid.
Hey, fella.
We're very busy.
I mean, it's a busy night tonight.
We've got a lot of stiffs out there.
They're stacking up like cordwood.
- We'll see you later.
All right? - Hey.
Wait.
Come here.
What are you guys trying to pull here? Okay.
Okay.
You caught us.
Bart and me-We knocked this poor sap off.
Bart says, "What are we gonna do with the body?" I says, "What do you mean, 'What are we gonna do with the body? ' What do you think you do with a body? You take the body to the morgue.
That's what.
" No way anyone could catch us there.
Right? Right? Right? Right.
All right.
Sign here, funny guy.
I'm gonna list him as a John Doe till the paperwork shows up and it had better show up, or you're going to be cordwood.
Understand? Come on.
Forget your key, Mr.
Steele? Hello, Clarissa.
I thought I'd take the chance that you were free tonight anyway.
I'm very impressed.
You obviously choose your friends very carefully.
Should I consider you a friend? We can have a good time, or we can have a bad time.
From what I understand, you like to have a real good time.
Where did you hear that? I told you.
My cousin.
He recommended you very highly.
As a matter of fact, I dropped a package off by your front door for him this afternoon.
What package? You know what package.
You have it here somewhere.
- How do you know that I do? - Who else? I want you to give me the package, Clarissa.
Why should I? You know what this is? I have a passing familiarity with it.
Yes.
This is so we don't disturb the neighbors.
Awfully considerate of you.
Where's the package, Clarissa? Hey.
Wait a minute.
I was only kidding.
I- I don't have any package.
- Wrong answer.
- W-W- You don't seriously think that I- I would have the package here, do you? - Where then? - I'll show you.
You're a real smart girl, Clarissa.
Not from where I'm standing.
- Which way? - Turn left.
You ever been to the Caribbean? Uh-uh.
Oh, you really should try to go if you ever get the chance.
It's so peaceful and beautiful.
And don't even think about it.
That's one of the nice things about this job.
You get to travel a lot.
The hard part is that you can't let your emotions interfere with your work.
It's a lot like a doctor.
I mean, if a doctor let it get to him every time he lost a patient- he'd be a basket case.
You just can't let it get to ya.
The key to it is to look at it as a job.
No more, no less.
Of course, there are some risks.
Mr.
Steele.
Clarissa.
What are you doing down here? I know it's silly, but I was scared and I didn't know what else to do or where to go.
Yes.
Well, uh, no need to feel ashamed.
Uh, given the same situation, uh- Um- I would have done the same thing.
Would you like a cup of tea? Thanks.
Yes.
Well, it's, uh- It's been a very long evening, hasn't it, for both of us.
I, uh- I think we could both do with a good night's sleep.
Uh, I'll get a- I'll get a blanket for the couch.
You can- You can use my bed.
Good night.
I don't get it.
I have trouble keeping most men out of the bedroom.
Well, uh, tempting though it may be at the moment, Clarissa I rather like to think I have my sights set on other shores.
Gotcha.
And I'm not going to ask that age-old question- What's a nice girl like you doing in a profession like this? That's a relief.
Hmm.
Good night.
Night.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Hello, Laura.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for why I was taken at gunpoint from this room by a man who does that sort of thing for a living who mistook me for Bernard's Latin tutor, Clarissa who isn't really a Latin tutor, unless this particular Latin tutor moonlights as a- Hi.
Hi.
Uh- Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion- Blow this out of proportion? I came here to find out what was going on behind my back and I barely escaped with my life.
Now I find this gymnast here waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on.
How could anybody possibly blow this out of proportion? Laura, you're entitled to an explanation, and an explanation you shall get.
Believe me.
Uh- Okay.
It all started with Bernard.
Bernard.
What's the matter, honey? Huh? Can't you sleep? I guess I've just got a lot on my mind.
Oh.
I know what that's like.
- You do? - Mm-hmm.
You're in so deep you feel like you're drowning.
There's not even so much as a straw to hang on to.
Are you trying to tell me something? Well whatever you're going through, honey, it could be worse.
Look at me.
You never really did know your Uncle Walter, did you? Lucky you.
Wish I could say the same.
But you make your bed and you lie in it.
Nine years of lying.
And your mother and I were never the closest of sisters.
But there's always a silver lining.
There is? Mm-hmm.
Do you know what mine was? - Uh-uh.
- You.
Me? I couldn't have kids, and bam, your mother had you.
I guess I was a teensy-weensy little bit jealous.
Well, don't be.
I'm no prize.
Watching you grow up seeing you turn from a cute little kid into a fine, upstanding young man- Well, Bernard I'm as proud of you as if you were my own.
Want a bite? Hmm? Don't stay up too late.
I was already an unwitting accessory after the fact.
I saw no point- no point whatsoever in getting you incriminated as well.
- It's as simple as that.
- But it's not all Bernard's fault.
Well, that very well may be but there's a professional killer lurking out there somewhere and he's more than willing to kill again to get his package back.
But why would he go to such extremes to get Harold if he knows that he shot him already? Well, obviously he wasn't satisfied with simply killing Delanian.
He also wanted it known that Delanian was dead.
Based on that, I think it's fair to assume that their motive was to stop the takeover.
Delanian's death was the means to that end.
No doubt the killer will keep trying to find the body until the announcement.
Are you saying he'll still be after me? - Huh.
- Well we can't very well just sit around waiting for the ax to fall.
There's gotta be some way to flush the killer out.
What's wrong? I don't like the way you're looking at me.
This is by far the most ill-gotten, ill-conceived illogical idea you've ever come up with.
Oh, would you stop yapping so I can fix this mustache? How do you possibly expect anyone to mistake me for Delanian? - Oh.
- Never mind the fact that he's dead.
Well, the killer can't find the body, right? If we create the illusion that Delanian is still alive- Oh, yes.
A professional assassin will be pointing a loaded.
38 at me.
Wonderful.
Every plan has a flaw, Mr.
Steele.
Now, these are some of the things that Delanian left at Clarissa's.
Ah! Ah! They may come in handy.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
For the last 25 years, Delanian Engineering- What will you be doing while I'm playing sitting duck for a torpedo? Baiting the waters.
Whoever wanted to stop the takeover is most likely from either Delanian's company or Milgrim Industries.
While you're checking in, I'll spread the good news that Mr.
Delanian is alive and well.
Please! Everyone, I don't know where Mr.
Delanian is.
Mr.
Delanian will not be available today.
- Who are you? - My name is Laura Holt.
I'm a private investigator.
Mr.
Delanian hired me to protect him until he makes an important announcement at noon today.
If you need to contact him for any reason he can be reached at the Hotel Belvedere.
Delanian's alive? How can that be? W- - Myrtle.
Myrtle, did you hear that- - Shh! Shh! - Yeah, but- - Shh! There's only one explanation for it.
He bought off Silver.
That means Delanian knows about us.
Myrtle, what are we going to do? You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
Are you crazy? We don't even have a gun.
So? We find a shady pawnshop use a fake I.
D.
and buy a gun that makes holes- big holes- and we take care of Delanian ourselves.
I called earlier about a suite.
The name's Delanian.
As in Harold Delanian? Uh, I think Mr.
Delanian will find this suite more to his liking.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Hello.
Jill? - That's me.
- Where did you get your eye? - A little misunderstanding.
Hmm.
Well, let's start with some bubbly and then we'll see what else we can do to relieve your swelling.
- How do you know Clarissa? - Oh, a mutual friend recommended her.
Actually, I was sort of hoping that the three of us could have a party.
That sounds wicked.
I also made sure Mr.
Delanian was paged just like you told me, Mr.
Steele.
Excellent work, Clarissa.
Excellent work.
If Miss Holt's plan works, I should be dead by lunchtime.
Good Lord.
Not another emergency.
I'll take care of it.
Cheer up, Bernard.
You're not the one wearing the mustache, mate.
Hmm? Hi, Jill.
What's up? I can't.
I'll probably be here at the Belvedere till after noon.
I'm sure.
Sorry.
The Belvedere, you say? I've got an idea.
Why don't you get the bubble bath started, and I'll go retrieve some more champagne.
A little bubbly with the bubbly? Sorry! Sorry! - Wait a minute! - Sorry! This elevator is full.
What do you think we're waiting for? Myrtle, I'm sorry.
I- I can't go through with this.
There's no way.
I just can't do it.
- You spineless fool! - Myrtle, I- Have you forgotten how that rat Delanian plans to sell the company we built? - But if I- - And bargain away our hard-earned pensions in the process? - Myrtle, please- - Twenty-five years and he expects us to start at ground level again- at our age.
If we let that takeover happen, we are dust! The man deserves what's coming to him.
If you don't have the guts to do it, I will.
No, no.
I'll do it.
Yeah.
Got a light on Maggie? Mr.
Delanian, KBEX News.
We're here for that exclusive you promised us on the rumored takeover.
It appears Miss Holt has gone a trifle overboard in her zeal to bait the waters.
- I called the press.
- What? - You did? Bernard, why? - Mr.
Delanian.
Because all of this is my fault.
I feel bad that both you and Mr.
Steele are in danger.
I'm just gonna confess and get everything out in the open.
- I'll find a way to pay everybody back.
I promise.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Mr.
Delanian, we know you're in there.
You called us, remember? It's not your fault Harold was murdered, Bernard.
You know that.
We can't turn back now.
I mean, if the press find out, they'll nail our hides.
Besides, convincing them isn't gonna necessarily convince the killer.
He's right, Bernard.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Ah.
Yeah.
What suite is Harold Delanian in? - 2450.
- 2450.
You left without saying good-bye, Clarissa.
Mr.
Delanian.
Clarissa, stall.
Bernard, call security and have them removed now.
Come on, Mr.
Delanian.
If we go back empty-handed it won't look good for your company.
Uh, just a minute.
He'll be right with you.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
"Good afternoon"? Mr.
Delanian, are you coming out? No.
Mr.
Delanian, what do you have to say about the takeover rumors? No comment.
That was an awfully long wait for a "no comment," Mr.
Delanian.
Could you at least tell us how you feel about Milgrim Industries? I hate them all.
Can we quote you on that, Mr.
Delanian? Mr.
Delanian? That's all for now.
Thank you.
Mr.
Delanian.
Come on, folks.
Let's clear out.
We have every right to be here.
To the elevators, everybody.
Whatever you say.
- This is police brutality here.
- All downstairs.
Discuss it outside.
Let's go.
I don't know how Delanian could still be alive.
One thing's for sure.
He won't be for long.
Tell him you're here, Clarissa.
I think that's Miss Holt but it's supposed to be two long and one short.
- Maybe she forgot.
- Or perhaps she's trying to tell us something.
Doesn't seem to be anybody home.
Try again.
All right, everyone.
Plan "B.
" - Plan "B"? - Stall.
Come on.
Mr.
Delanian? No comment.
Move, and you join Delanian.
Come here.
Get up.
I knew I got him.
Forensics will have no trouble matching the bullets from Delanian's body to this gun.
Now all we have to do is take you to the authorities and find out who hired you.
Hold this, Bernard.
Let's go.
Well, Mr.
Steele I think it's safe for you to finally take off that mustache.
Pity, actually.
I was beginning to think it quite suited me.
- Don't you agree? - No comment.
Where have you all been? I've been worried sick.
Aunt Mildred, I have a confession to make.
I'm afraid our investment didn't quite come out the way we planned.
- Does that mean we'll lose everything? - Aunt Mildred- Uh, technically speaking, Mildred, uh Bernard has made us a great deal of money.
However, due to the warm, kind, generous person that he is he donated all our profits to the university in your name.
Mm-hmm.
The Mildred Krebs Endowment for the Advanced Study of Latin.
Oh, you sweetheart! Your nephew's certainly something special.
Didn't I tell you? Huh? Miss- Miss Holt, could I have a word with you just a second? Uh- Now, uh, where were we? Ah, yes.
Uh, I understand.
I believe there's a- a quaint little island just offshore where they've never heard of paperwork or Latin.
Uh, Catalina, I believe it's called.
Oh, Mr.
Steele.
I like your style.
Oh, thank you.
There you go.
Who's that gentleman not taking a bath in my bathtub? - I'm not real good with death.
- You're also a murder suspect.
- Who's she? - Clarissa.
- She's a tutor.
- Who are they? - My study group.
- Sure, I remember you.
The trampoline.
And a gymnast too.
Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion- I find this gymnast here waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on.
How could anybody possibly blow this out of proportion? Give me an "H"! Give me an "A"! Give me an "R"! Give me an "O"! Give me an "L"! Give me a "D"! - Yeah, Harold! Yea! - Ah! Yeah.
! That-a-boy.
! All right.
! - Yeah.
! All right.
! - Ah! That-a-boy.
! All right, Harold.
! All right! The pride of Benjamin High.
He eludes a tackler.
- Yeah! - He sees an opening.
He slithers through the line.
And then he penetrates the hole.
There he goes! He scores! Yea! You won it all, Harold! Are you ready to put it between the uprights? Yeah! - Are those the reporters? - It's MaryJo from Channel 6.
- She's come to evaluate your performance.
- I'm ready.
I know.
I can feel it.
I'll go start the shower, swivel hips.
Yea! Yea! Harold! All right! Yea.
! Did MaryJo get anything out of y- - Hello.
- It's done.
Hello, p-police? Yeah.
Uh, police, it's awful.
Just awful.
A man's been shot.
Where? Oh, oh.
Uh, it's 2245 North Comstock.
Number 304.
Yeah.
Who am I? I'm a concerned citizen.
Please hurry! - He's dead.
- Nothing gets past you, does it, Bernard? Are you just gonna sit there, or are you gonna help me move him? - Move him where? - Out of my living room at least.
Well, then what are we gonna do with him? Oh, no! I don't even believe what is happening.
We're doomed.
I'll never graduate now.
Life's over.
My neighbors went camping for a couple of days.
We can put the body in their condo.
- Come on.
Grab a leg.
- We're dead.
That's it.
We're dead.
We will be if we don't move him.
Now, come on.
Grab a leg! I'm not real good with death.
- What'd he say? 304? - Yeah.
Keep that door open.
Start a door-to-door.
Police! Open up! - Davis, you want to check the upstairs? - Yeah.
I'll get it.
- No sign here.
- Are you sure it was 304? That's what he said.
Anything up there? Not a thing.
All right.
Let's go.
Looks like a false alarm.
- What do you make of all this? - I don't know.
Maybe it's down the hall.
Ah.
You know, you amaze me, Laura.
How someone can find so much paperwork to do when there's scarcely a case on the desk fairly boggles the mind.
The job isn't done until the paperwork is finished, Mr.
Steele.
Mmm.
I, uh- I understand there's a quaint little island just offshore where they- they never heard of paperwork, huh? Catalina, I believe it's called.
And it just so happens there's an acquaintance of mine who has generously offered the services of his whirlybird for the evening.
I thought we might, uh take it out for a spin, as it were.
- Catalina? - Mmm.
- Whirlybird? - Mmm.
Hmm.
I guess that about wraps things up.
Hi, Aunt Mildred.
Bernard! Oh! Hi, kiddo! What are you doing down here? What a surprise.
I had some business in L.
A.
Ooh.
Mr.
Steele, Miss Holt - this is my nephew Bernard from Seattle.
- Oh.
- We've heard nothing but great things about you, Bernard.
- Mmm.
Oh, he's got straight A's at U.
C.
Santa Barbara.
Oh, yeah.
Quite the entrepreneur, I believe.
- Well- - Oh.
Are you kidding? He could buy and sell Wall Street if he wasn't such an honest kid.
Oh.
I've always had a soft part in my heart for profit-makers.
- Remington Steele Investigations.
- Your aunt just brought us another one of your surefire deals.
Oh, well, even surefire deals have been known to end up dead on their feet.
It's for you, Bernard.
- Someone named Clarissa.
- Uh, excuse me.
Thank you.
Hello.
- He's something else, isn't he? - Yes.
He is indeed, Mildred.
- I love that kid.
- We've got trouble.
My neighbor's camping trip just got rained on.
They're coming home now.
What are we gonna do with the body? He always was a happy kid.
I don't know.
What do you think? You're the college kid.
You think of something.
What do you mean you're not going to pay me? You owe me $15,000.
- Tell him, Morty.
- W- Uh, our- Our problem, Mr.
Silver seems to be that well, there's no proof of Mr.
Delanian's death.
I stood as close to Delanian as I am standing to you right now.
I pulled out my.
38.
I screwed on the silencer.
And I pointed it at him, and I calmly- I- It's not that we don't believe you, Mr.
Silver.
Oh, God.
Please don't shoot me.
Then what's the problem, Morty? What do we have to do? Spell it out for you? We hired you to take Delanian out by noon tomorrow.
What good does it do us if nobody knows he's dead? Uh, technically speaking, Mr.
Silver, she is correct.
This is not the way it works.
I'm a professional.
You hired me to kill Delanian.
I killed Delanian.
That means you owe me $15,000.
Don't try to bully us, buster.
You won't get one red cent out of us until we read about Delanian's death- in headlines.
And if it's not done by tomorrow, you're fired.
Ah, Catalina, here we come.
! What's the rush, Mr.
Steele? Face it.
Anytime we've tempted fate before, it's been anything but cooperative.
Shall we get out of here? The sooner the better.
Have I got a surprise for you.
Show 'em, Bernard.
He got us tickets to Sinatra's last performance tonight at the Greek Theatre.
Isn't that fantastic? I wanted to do something special because you've been so good to Aunt Mildred.
Oh, Bernard.
That's awfully nice of you, but Miss Holt and I- We-We'd like nothing more.
- Thank you, Bernard.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.
Believe me.
We'd better hurry.
Oh.
Oh, Mr.
Steele do you mind if Bernard stays here until we get back? I could only get three tickets.
Besides, I've got a big midterm coming up that I really should study for.
Oh, he's so diligent.
Oh.
Make yourself at home, Bernard.
Yes.
- Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
- See you later.
Bye.
Have a good time.
Oh, yes, we will, Bernard.
We will.
- I'm glad you could use the tickets.
- Oh, yes.
Okay.
What's this? I was trying to make him look inconspicuous.
A dead man sitting in a convertible smoking a cigarette is inconspicuous? So, my hearse is on back order.
The least you could've done is gotten rid of his shoulder pads.
Oh.
- Let's just get him upstairs before anybody sees us.
- Right.
Good old Uncle Harold, eh? One drink too many, and he's out like a light.
Oh, but he loves these costume parties.
You mean to tell me we only have this place for another three or four hours? We can't keep lugging this guy all over town, you know.
Hey.
I said I had a plan, didn't I? What's Jill's number? Bernard, this really isn't the time to party.
- What's her number? - 555-6349.
Hi, Jill? Bernard.
No.
Don't worry.
You're not being audited.
Um, listen.
You know that steamer trunk that you've got? Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the one.
Bring it over to 5994 Rossmore, Apartment "A," right away.
Don't- Don't ask why.
Bernard, what are you doing? Hollywood, please.
Yeah.
Uh, Speedy Express.
Thank you.
H- Hello, Speedy Express? Yeah.
Uh, how soon can you get a steamer trunk to Santa Barbara? Weight? Uh, about 180 pounds.
Yeah.
It's 5994 Rossmore fifth floor, Apartment "A.
" Well, can- can you be here in an hour? Oh, terrific.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Don't be late.
We're sending your brother a belated Christmas present.
Bernard, I like your style.
Somebody's early.
- Oh, Bernard.
- Aunt Mildred.
Miss Holt.
What happened? - The concert was rained out.
- Rain? It's an outdoor theater, Bernard.
- Poor Frank never got to finish "It's a Foggy Day.
" - Who's she? Who's she? Oh.
Uh, Aunt Mildred, Miss Holt, Mr.
Steele this is Clarissa.
- She, uh, came over to help me with my Latin.
- Glad to meet you.
Excuse me.
I've gotta check in.
- Oh.
- Uh, she's a tutor.
Hi.
Sure, I remember you.
The trampoline.
Right.
And a gymnast too.
- Ah.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, uh, I'll hang up the coats.
Hmm.
No.
No, no, no.
Please.
Please, allow me! Come on, Bernard.
There's no sense in both of us getting damp.
Out of the way, son.
There you go.
Regardless of the outcome, Bernard, the- the tickets were a lovely gesture.
- Bernard.
- Bernard.
Hmm? What? Uh, Latin.
Bernard, can I have a word with you? I realize you college kids are given to pranks now and then but don't you think a dead quarterback in my bathtub is a little bit excessive? Please, Mr.
Steele.
I swear there's a good explanation.
Just, whatever you do, don't let Aunt Mildred find out.
- Good point.
I'll get rid of her.
- Bless you, Mr.
Steele.
Just as soon as she's gone, Bernard you and your Latin tutor have a lot of explaining to do.
Understand? Go.
- Is anything wrong, boss? - Oh, no, no, no.
I just wanted to thank Bernard personally for his little surprise.
It's the thought that counts.
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, hi, gorgeous.
- Hi.
- Hi, Bernard.
Hi, Clarissa.
- Who are they? - My study group.
Oh.
It's mine.
Can I use your phone, please? Please.
Go right ahead.
Yeah.
Sure.
Popular group.
- What's with the trunk? - Trunk? Oh, I hired it.
Why? I'll explain later.
Excuse me, darling.
Oops.
Sorry.
There you go.
Oops.
Speedy Express.
On time or your money back.
- We're here to pick up the steamer trunk.
- There you go.
- Oh.
- Thank you very much.
- Ah? Yeah.
Of course.
Go right ahead.
Use the phone.
All right, all right.
! What is going on around here? Sounds fun.
But I'm gonna have to charge you extra.
Well- Uh, can I call you right back? Well, Bernard, it's, uh, time to fess up, old boy.
- It is? - Oh, come on.
Let's not be bashful, old boy.
We're all familiar with the unique, uh, rituals of the fraternity initiation, hmm? Fraternity initiation? Oh, honey.
We didn't ruin it for you, did we? No, Mildred.
Actually, he still has a good chance of getting this trunk to, uh- - Santa Barbara.
- Right.
Santa Barbara.
Okay, chaps.
Take it away.
There you go.
And you can still get all those things that you got in the scavenger hunt- the- the Hollywood Boulevard street sign- The Bob Uecker baseball card.
The, uh, hubcap from the police car.
Yeah.
There you go, Laura.
Just put that coat around your shoulders.
And you too, Mildred.
There you go.
Put this little cape around your shoulders.
Don't forget your handbag.
There you go.
All right, Miss Holt.
Good night.
You too, darling.
There you go.
There's the door.
- Laura, uh, listen.
It's very wet outside.
- Night.
- Better put the coat on.
- Good luck, sweetheart.
I'll take care of him, Mildred.
Not to worry about a thing.
Good night, Laura.
- See you later.
- I don't believe it.
! - We did it! - Mr.
Steele, I like your style.
Let's forget the formalities.
Who's that gentleman not taking a bath in my bathtub? Harold Delanian.
The Harold Delanian of Delanian Engineering? That's the one.
See, we kind of found out that Delanian was about to let his company be taken over by Milgrim Industries.
- How did you find out? - Harold told me.
- Oh.
- So we decided to buy some Delanian Engineering stock.
Yeah.
I- I invested all of Clarissa and her partners' savings.
Aunt Mildred invested a large chunk of your money and because the deal was so sweet I invested funds that I sort of borrowed from the student treasury for myself.
I see.
At the risk of sounding blunt, you're a lady of the evening, are you not? We prefer to be called love brokers.
How quaint.
Then if you and your partners are love brokers - doesn't that make you their, uh- - No, no, no, no.
You see, Clarissa's brother goes to the university.
I started doing Clarissa's taxes.
She liked my work so much that she recommended me to her associates and then I began investing their excess capital.
How interesting.
You're quite an enterprising young man, are you not, Bernard? - Well, I like to keep busy.
- You're also a murder suspect.
No.
Hey.
He didn't plug the guy.
No.
Harold and I were doing the cheerleader and football star.
We do it every Thursday afternoon at the same time.
Next thing I know, he's lying on my floor, dead as a doornail.
- Well, obviously the killer knew about the routine.
- If Milgrim Industries finds out that Delanian's dead before they announce the takeover tomorrow at noon the stocks'll plummet, and we'll all lose our shirts.
But if we can just hide the body until after the announcement, we'll be home free.
Will you help us, Mr.
Steele? Please, Mr.
Steele.
Just 24 little hours.
It's not gonna make any difference to Mr.
Delanian.
Just so you know, I'm not doing this for you or your clients.
I'm only doing this to protect your sweet, innocent aunt who doesn't want to see her cherished nephew go to prison.
Uh, what are we gonna do with the body? The body.
Where does one usually deposit dearly departeds? The morgue.
- Good night, Miss Holt.
- Good night, Mildred.
Latin tutor? And gymnast? Back to Mr.
Steele's, Fred, and I'll pay for the speeding tickets.
Hello? Clarissa? Yes.
Who's this? Hi.
My name's Bill.
I'm in from San Francisco.
My cousin suggested that I call you.
He said you were a real nice girl.
Uh, well, I'm sorry, Bill, but I'm kind of busy right now.
Wait a minute.
How did you get this number? Hello? Mr.
Steele? Anybody home? - This is never gonna work.
- The Corpse Came C.
O.
D.
You mean we're gonna try to get money for him? George Brent, Joan Blondell.
Columbia, 1947.
Ayoung woman receives a box of dress goods and a corpse C.
O.
D.
- Uh-huh.
- I'll explain later.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
What have you got? Hi.
We got another, uh, guest for your hotel, okay? Hey.
Where do you think you're goin'? Well, he's all yours, buddy.
Just take him away, okay? No, no.
He- He's not all mine.
Not till the paperwork shows up, he's not mine.
- We're doomed.
- Your pal doesn't look so good.
Yeah.
What do you expect? He's dead.
That's very funny.
I meant your partner, smart guy.
I'm not real good with death.
You picked a hell of an occupation, kid.
Hey, fella.
We're very busy.
I mean, it's a busy night tonight.
We've got a lot of stiffs out there.
They're stacking up like cordwood.
- We'll see you later.
All right? - Hey.
Wait.
Come here.
What are you guys trying to pull here? Okay.
Okay.
You caught us.
Bart and me-We knocked this poor sap off.
Bart says, "What are we gonna do with the body?" I says, "What do you mean, 'What are we gonna do with the body? ' What do you think you do with a body? You take the body to the morgue.
That's what.
" No way anyone could catch us there.
Right? Right? Right? Right.
All right.
Sign here, funny guy.
I'm gonna list him as a John Doe till the paperwork shows up and it had better show up, or you're going to be cordwood.
Understand? Come on.
Forget your key, Mr.
Steele? Hello, Clarissa.
I thought I'd take the chance that you were free tonight anyway.
I'm very impressed.
You obviously choose your friends very carefully.
Should I consider you a friend? We can have a good time, or we can have a bad time.
From what I understand, you like to have a real good time.
Where did you hear that? I told you.
My cousin.
He recommended you very highly.
As a matter of fact, I dropped a package off by your front door for him this afternoon.
What package? You know what package.
You have it here somewhere.
- How do you know that I do? - Who else? I want you to give me the package, Clarissa.
Why should I? You know what this is? I have a passing familiarity with it.
Yes.
This is so we don't disturb the neighbors.
Awfully considerate of you.
Where's the package, Clarissa? Hey.
Wait a minute.
I was only kidding.
I- I don't have any package.
- Wrong answer.
- W-W- You don't seriously think that I- I would have the package here, do you? - Where then? - I'll show you.
You're a real smart girl, Clarissa.
Not from where I'm standing.
- Which way? - Turn left.
You ever been to the Caribbean? Uh-uh.
Oh, you really should try to go if you ever get the chance.
It's so peaceful and beautiful.
And don't even think about it.
That's one of the nice things about this job.
You get to travel a lot.
The hard part is that you can't let your emotions interfere with your work.
It's a lot like a doctor.
I mean, if a doctor let it get to him every time he lost a patient- he'd be a basket case.
You just can't let it get to ya.
The key to it is to look at it as a job.
No more, no less.
Of course, there are some risks.
Mr.
Steele.
Clarissa.
What are you doing down here? I know it's silly, but I was scared and I didn't know what else to do or where to go.
Yes.
Well, uh, no need to feel ashamed.
Uh, given the same situation, uh- Um- I would have done the same thing.
Would you like a cup of tea? Thanks.
Yes.
Well, it's, uh- It's been a very long evening, hasn't it, for both of us.
I, uh- I think we could both do with a good night's sleep.
Uh, I'll get a- I'll get a blanket for the couch.
You can- You can use my bed.
Good night.
I don't get it.
I have trouble keeping most men out of the bedroom.
Well, uh, tempting though it may be at the moment, Clarissa I rather like to think I have my sights set on other shores.
Gotcha.
And I'm not going to ask that age-old question- What's a nice girl like you doing in a profession like this? That's a relief.
Hmm.
Good night.
Night.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Hello, Laura.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for why I was taken at gunpoint from this room by a man who does that sort of thing for a living who mistook me for Bernard's Latin tutor, Clarissa who isn't really a Latin tutor, unless this particular Latin tutor moonlights as a- Hi.
Hi.
Uh- Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion- Blow this out of proportion? I came here to find out what was going on behind my back and I barely escaped with my life.
Now I find this gymnast here waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on.
How could anybody possibly blow this out of proportion? Laura, you're entitled to an explanation, and an explanation you shall get.
Believe me.
Uh- Okay.
It all started with Bernard.
Bernard.
What's the matter, honey? Huh? Can't you sleep? I guess I've just got a lot on my mind.
Oh.
I know what that's like.
- You do? - Mm-hmm.
You're in so deep you feel like you're drowning.
There's not even so much as a straw to hang on to.
Are you trying to tell me something? Well whatever you're going through, honey, it could be worse.
Look at me.
You never really did know your Uncle Walter, did you? Lucky you.
Wish I could say the same.
But you make your bed and you lie in it.
Nine years of lying.
And your mother and I were never the closest of sisters.
But there's always a silver lining.
There is? Mm-hmm.
Do you know what mine was? - Uh-uh.
- You.
Me? I couldn't have kids, and bam, your mother had you.
I guess I was a teensy-weensy little bit jealous.
Well, don't be.
I'm no prize.
Watching you grow up seeing you turn from a cute little kid into a fine, upstanding young man- Well, Bernard I'm as proud of you as if you were my own.
Want a bite? Hmm? Don't stay up too late.
I was already an unwitting accessory after the fact.
I saw no point- no point whatsoever in getting you incriminated as well.
- It's as simple as that.
- But it's not all Bernard's fault.
Well, that very well may be but there's a professional killer lurking out there somewhere and he's more than willing to kill again to get his package back.
But why would he go to such extremes to get Harold if he knows that he shot him already? Well, obviously he wasn't satisfied with simply killing Delanian.
He also wanted it known that Delanian was dead.
Based on that, I think it's fair to assume that their motive was to stop the takeover.
Delanian's death was the means to that end.
No doubt the killer will keep trying to find the body until the announcement.
Are you saying he'll still be after me? - Huh.
- Well we can't very well just sit around waiting for the ax to fall.
There's gotta be some way to flush the killer out.
What's wrong? I don't like the way you're looking at me.
This is by far the most ill-gotten, ill-conceived illogical idea you've ever come up with.
Oh, would you stop yapping so I can fix this mustache? How do you possibly expect anyone to mistake me for Delanian? - Oh.
- Never mind the fact that he's dead.
Well, the killer can't find the body, right? If we create the illusion that Delanian is still alive- Oh, yes.
A professional assassin will be pointing a loaded.
38 at me.
Wonderful.
Every plan has a flaw, Mr.
Steele.
Now, these are some of the things that Delanian left at Clarissa's.
Ah! Ah! They may come in handy.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
For the last 25 years, Delanian Engineering- What will you be doing while I'm playing sitting duck for a torpedo? Baiting the waters.
Whoever wanted to stop the takeover is most likely from either Delanian's company or Milgrim Industries.
While you're checking in, I'll spread the good news that Mr.
Delanian is alive and well.
Please! Everyone, I don't know where Mr.
Delanian is.
Mr.
Delanian will not be available today.
- Who are you? - My name is Laura Holt.
I'm a private investigator.
Mr.
Delanian hired me to protect him until he makes an important announcement at noon today.
If you need to contact him for any reason he can be reached at the Hotel Belvedere.
Delanian's alive? How can that be? W- - Myrtle.
Myrtle, did you hear that- - Shh! Shh! - Yeah, but- - Shh! There's only one explanation for it.
He bought off Silver.
That means Delanian knows about us.
Myrtle, what are we going to do? You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
Are you crazy? We don't even have a gun.
So? We find a shady pawnshop use a fake I.
D.
and buy a gun that makes holes- big holes- and we take care of Delanian ourselves.
I called earlier about a suite.
The name's Delanian.
As in Harold Delanian? Uh, I think Mr.
Delanian will find this suite more to his liking.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Hello.
Jill? - That's me.
- Where did you get your eye? - A little misunderstanding.
Hmm.
Well, let's start with some bubbly and then we'll see what else we can do to relieve your swelling.
- How do you know Clarissa? - Oh, a mutual friend recommended her.
Actually, I was sort of hoping that the three of us could have a party.
That sounds wicked.
I also made sure Mr.
Delanian was paged just like you told me, Mr.
Steele.
Excellent work, Clarissa.
Excellent work.
If Miss Holt's plan works, I should be dead by lunchtime.
Good Lord.
Not another emergency.
I'll take care of it.
Cheer up, Bernard.
You're not the one wearing the mustache, mate.
Hmm? Hi, Jill.
What's up? I can't.
I'll probably be here at the Belvedere till after noon.
I'm sure.
Sorry.
The Belvedere, you say? I've got an idea.
Why don't you get the bubble bath started, and I'll go retrieve some more champagne.
A little bubbly with the bubbly? Sorry! Sorry! - Wait a minute! - Sorry! This elevator is full.
What do you think we're waiting for? Myrtle, I'm sorry.
I- I can't go through with this.
There's no way.
I just can't do it.
- You spineless fool! - Myrtle, I- Have you forgotten how that rat Delanian plans to sell the company we built? - But if I- - And bargain away our hard-earned pensions in the process? - Myrtle, please- - Twenty-five years and he expects us to start at ground level again- at our age.
If we let that takeover happen, we are dust! The man deserves what's coming to him.
If you don't have the guts to do it, I will.
No, no.
I'll do it.
Yeah.
Got a light on Maggie? Mr.
Delanian, KBEX News.
We're here for that exclusive you promised us on the rumored takeover.
It appears Miss Holt has gone a trifle overboard in her zeal to bait the waters.
- I called the press.
- What? - You did? Bernard, why? - Mr.
Delanian.
Because all of this is my fault.
I feel bad that both you and Mr.
Steele are in danger.
I'm just gonna confess and get everything out in the open.
- I'll find a way to pay everybody back.
I promise.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Mr.
Delanian, we know you're in there.
You called us, remember? It's not your fault Harold was murdered, Bernard.
You know that.
We can't turn back now.
I mean, if the press find out, they'll nail our hides.
Besides, convincing them isn't gonna necessarily convince the killer.
He's right, Bernard.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Ah.
Yeah.
What suite is Harold Delanian in? - 2450.
- 2450.
You left without saying good-bye, Clarissa.
Mr.
Delanian.
Clarissa, stall.
Bernard, call security and have them removed now.
Come on, Mr.
Delanian.
If we go back empty-handed it won't look good for your company.
Uh, just a minute.
He'll be right with you.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
"Good afternoon"? Mr.
Delanian, are you coming out? No.
Mr.
Delanian, what do you have to say about the takeover rumors? No comment.
That was an awfully long wait for a "no comment," Mr.
Delanian.
Could you at least tell us how you feel about Milgrim Industries? I hate them all.
Can we quote you on that, Mr.
Delanian? Mr.
Delanian? That's all for now.
Thank you.
Mr.
Delanian.
Come on, folks.
Let's clear out.
We have every right to be here.
To the elevators, everybody.
Whatever you say.
- This is police brutality here.
- All downstairs.
Discuss it outside.
Let's go.
I don't know how Delanian could still be alive.
One thing's for sure.
He won't be for long.
Tell him you're here, Clarissa.
I think that's Miss Holt but it's supposed to be two long and one short.
- Maybe she forgot.
- Or perhaps she's trying to tell us something.
Doesn't seem to be anybody home.
Try again.
All right, everyone.
Plan "B.
" - Plan "B"? - Stall.
Come on.
Mr.
Delanian? No comment.
Move, and you join Delanian.
Come here.
Get up.
I knew I got him.
Forensics will have no trouble matching the bullets from Delanian's body to this gun.
Now all we have to do is take you to the authorities and find out who hired you.
Hold this, Bernard.
Let's go.
Well, Mr.
Steele I think it's safe for you to finally take off that mustache.
Pity, actually.
I was beginning to think it quite suited me.
- Don't you agree? - No comment.
Where have you all been? I've been worried sick.
Aunt Mildred, I have a confession to make.
I'm afraid our investment didn't quite come out the way we planned.
- Does that mean we'll lose everything? - Aunt Mildred- Uh, technically speaking, Mildred, uh Bernard has made us a great deal of money.
However, due to the warm, kind, generous person that he is he donated all our profits to the university in your name.
Mm-hmm.
The Mildred Krebs Endowment for the Advanced Study of Latin.
Oh, you sweetheart! Your nephew's certainly something special.
Didn't I tell you? Huh? Miss- Miss Holt, could I have a word with you just a second? Uh- Now, uh, where were we? Ah, yes.
Uh, I understand.
I believe there's a- a quaint little island just offshore where they've never heard of paperwork or Latin.
Uh, Catalina, I believe it's called.
Oh, Mr.
Steele.
I like your style.
Oh, thank you.
There you go.