Remington Steele (1982) s03e17 Episode Script

Diced Steele

You lost it? All of it? Not lost it, Everett.
Invested it.
Are you saying Steele is somehow connected with the theft? Your boss has more aliases than a phone book.
- Well, well.
- I know this doesn't look good.
Call the police.
I have one piece of advice for you, Mr.
Steele.
- Yeah? - Run.
Here, Reggie.
They're all yours.
- What? What the hell do you want? - The case.
Wrong case! With you two finally gone, that'll be the end of it.
Nice work.
- A bit showy.
- Ready? Go ahead.
Six of diamonds.
Jack of spades.
Reminds me of you.
Queen of hearts.
I still can't get how you do it.
That's the idea, Mildred.
- Ah, Everett, please come in.
- Mr.
Steele.
- Yes, come right in.
- Miss Holt.
Uh, this is our assistant, Mildred Krebs.
Uh, Everett Blaisdale, Vigilance Insurance.
How do you do? Want to count it? Oh, Everett, please.
Our relationship is built on trust.
Mildred.
I need you to sign this.
You understand.
Oh, yes, of course.
Bureaucracy rears its ugly head.
Mm, Miss Holt.
Hmm.
Well, good luck to all of us.
Rest assured, Everett, Murdock's jewels are as good as in your hands.
- I hope so.
If anything should happen- - Everett, please.
- You're talking to Remington Steele, okay? - Right.
Hey, watch it, Bruce! I just had this cleaned.
Good night, Everett.
Come in, gentlemen, please.
Who's the mark? Fellow by the name of Eddie Grogan.
I got a tip he stole the jewels from Murdock.
You're here to help me get them back.
- Sounds like a sweet hustle, Harry.
- Reggie.
Reggie Whitewood.
I am now a dissolute member of the ruling class.
Now, stake yourselves to $25,000 each and take a grand off the top for your services.
- Who are they? - Laura Holt, Mildred Krebs, Benny, Sid, Nathan.
- How about some sandwiches and beer, fellas? - If you're sellin', I'm buyin'.
- What are you sellin', honey? - Nothing you can afford, big fella.
Excuse me.
- Nice girl.
- Yeah, okay.
Sit down, okay? Where did the boss find those shills? - I don't think we want to know.
- I don't get it.
Why don't we just grab Grogan and choke him until he coughs up the jewels? Because we have no proof that he stole them.
This way, Mr.
Steele busts him at the table.
He has to retrieve the jewels to pay off his losses.
We have the thief, the jewels and a hefty finder's fee.
But how do you know that he'll bet more than he's got with him? Because, Mildred, he's a compulsive gambler.
You know, sometimes the boss's plans strike me as poetry.
Well, it isn't Keats, but it ain't bad.
Edward, old chap, delighted to see you.
Ain't nothin' gonna keep me away from a hot game.
I'll tell you that.
Yes, well, this one will positively sizzle, old bean.
Yes, well, this one will positively sizzle, old bean.
Raise a thousand.
Fold.
That's it! - Who's got the mai tai? - Here.
Thanks.
Well, that's it.
Next time, I'll mail in my money.
I guess it's just you and me, Reggie.
What do you say we goose the game? No ceiling? I say, you really are a gambler, aren't you, Edward? Very well.
No limit.
Aces facing kings.
- Aces bet.
- Some dealer, Reggie.
Where'd you get her? She came with the table.
Bet all of it.
Thirty thousand.
And I back it.
$50,000.
I've gotta go light.
Look, Edward, don't disappoint me, please.
If you can't afford to play the game- Reggie, I've got some very interesting collateral that's worth a lot more than 50 grand.
Look, I have a rule, Edward: cash only at the table.
cash only at the table.
Don't you think we're both men ofhonor? If I lose, I'll take you straight to it and I'll guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Very well.
Okay, I call.
Son of a gun! I didn't think you had it.
I thought maybe a full house.
Maybe! But not four kings.
I believe there's a time to reap and a time to sow.
This is my time to reap.
Not yet it ain't.
Some hand, huh? - Hell, I must have won- - $150,000.
A hundred and fifty- Where am I gonna put it all? I have a suggestion.
Why don't you take the case? You've taken everything else.
Swell.
Listen, Reggie, if you have another game, be sure and call me up.
This is really- really terrific.
And you make a heck of a mai tai.
Bye.
Nice work.
He cheated.
The double-dealing swine.
He cheated, Laura.
I saw his hold card.
It was the four of clubs! - He must've palmed the ace.
- Why didn't you stop him? Because then he'd know that we were cheating.
And we'd lose all chance of recovering the jewels.
Mildred, take my car and follow Grogan.
You got it.
Why Mildred? Because we have to figure out how you're going to tell the insurance company that your foolproof scheme cost them $150,000.
You lost it? All of it? Not lost it, Everett.
Invested it.
We could see that Grogan was wary so we used the money to buy his confidence.
I mean, how we have him exactly where we want him.
Within hours, Mr.
Steele will be zeroing in on where he's stashed the jewels.
- You will? - Oh, without question.
Everything is just falling into place.
Stand tall, Everett.
You backed a winning plan.
Oh, yes, I can hear the accolades now.
Can't you, Miss Holt? Can't you hear those accolades? Oh, Everett Blaisdale, senior vice president! - Bye, Everett.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Thank you both.
- Don't mention it.
I can't believe everything's going so well.
And on my first big case too.
- Thank you.
Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Remington Steele Investigations.
Mildred? Where are you? - Las Vegas.
- Where? Grogan drove straight here.
He's at the tables now, gambling.
- Mildred, listen- - I gotta go, Miss Holt.
- Has he spotted you? - No.
And he only stopped once for gas and I never got out of the car because I didn't wanna lose him.
- Now I really gotta go.
- I see.
Well, call back.
One more thing.
Can I use the agency credit card to get a few things to wear? People keep asking me for drinks.
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
- Well? - Grogan's in Las Vegas.
Las Vegas? Huh.
Well, look on the bright side, Laura.
He could've gone to Bakersfield, hmm? And so, Mr.
Capstone, both Mr.
Steele and I believe that we have Grogan exactly where we want him.
Something amuses you, Mr.
Keyes? Well, I was just wondering how you're gonna list the loss of $150,000 on the stockholders' report.
I just finished telling you the money isn't lost! It's merely shifted location.
Oh, come on.
This whole thing stinks to high heaven! All of a sudden, this Steele pops up out of nowhere and feeds you a cock-and-bull story about some cheap grifter named Eddie Grogan being the mastermind behind a two-and-a-half-million-dollar burglary, and you fall for it? Remington Steele did not pop out of nowhere.
- His reputation is impeccable.
- Grow up, Blaisdale.
At rock bottom, every human being is a greedy, larcenous louse.
I just haven't figured Steele's angle yet.
Are you saying Steele is somehow connected with the theft? I'm saying what I said from the beginning.
This whole thing has the aroma of an inside job.
That's the angle I was on when Steele waltzed in here with his dazzling smile and his $400 suit and he convinces Mr.
Harvard M.
B.
A.
over here that he has all the right answers.
I see no reason to bring personalities into this, Keyes.
Don't take this personally, Blaisdale, but in this business the biggest obstacle to knowledge is a formal education.
I don't dress like a fashion plate, and maybe I never went to college but let me tell you something.
I know my job, and I'm damn good at what I do.
I assume you have a point here, Keyes.
I trust this and it tells me Steele's involvement in all this has a very definite, shall we say, fragrance.
You put me back on the job, I'll get to the truth.
I realize I haven't a lot of experience, sir, but I have faith in Mr.
Steele.
I believe he should be allowed to continue on the case.
- It's your call, Mr.
Capstone.
- Yes, so it is.
Gentlemen, I've reached a decision.
Mr.
Steele may proceed.
And I'm putting you back on the case, Keyes.
Bold move.
Betty? Betty, put me on the next flight to Vegas.
And listen, honey.
This is important.
Run the following names through the computer.
I want every data source tapped.
You ready? Michael O'Leary, Ireland.
John Murrell, France.
Douglas Quintain, England.
Paul Fabrini, Italy.
And Richard Blaine, Australia.
Hmm? No, honey, no.
It's all the same guy.
And I got a feeling his traveling days are over.
This is what you came to tell me? I expect a check.
You come here empty-handed, tell me you're not paying me for my jewels? - Mr.
Murdock- - Your company expects me to pay my premiums on time.
- It doesn't work both ways, does it? - We have a lead- Now, it's my understanding when insured merchandise is stolen the insurance company has an obligation to pay off.
Let the man speak, Bradford.
Thank you, Mrs.
Murdock.
Our first priority in cases like this is to try to recover the stolen goods.
Now, Mr.
Murdock, you want your jewels back, don't you? Oh, absolutely.
They have a great sentimental value- to me, at least.
Don't mind Mr.
Murdock.
He's just being a grump because the stock market's down.
Nonsense.
This is a matter of principle.
As a stockbroker, if I ran my company the way you run yours, I'd be sent to jail.
Please continue, Mr.
Blaisdale.
We suspect the thief is in Las Vegas.
Right now, the best detective in Los Angeles Remington Steele, is there tracking him down.
- With luck, you'll have your jewels back in a day or two.
- That's wonderful.
Right, and the moon is made of green cheese.
Your company just doesn't want to pay off.
Will you please see him out? - I'll get back to you when we have further news.
- Right.
Sure.
Yeah, when is your next flight to Las Vegas? Oh, fine.
Book me on that, please.
Johnson.
Charles Johnson.
Thank you very much.
Did you have to rent the most expensive car they had? Image, Laura.
Image.
This is Las Vegas, home of the high roller and I'm Reggie Whitewood, remember? Profligate wastrel.
The role suits you.
Incidentally, once we find Grogan just how do you intend to get him to lead us to the jewels, hmm? Have you noticed the way this car hugs the turns? Thank you.
Thank you indeed.
Here you go.
Something for your troubles, my man.
Lovely day.
There you go, sunshine.
- Have a nice day.
Mind the car, please.
- What are you doing? Image, Laura.
Image, image.
Come on.
- Yes, good day, young man.
- May I help you, sir? - Yes.
Is the presidential suite available? - Yes, sir! - How much is the presidential suite? - Laura, please, please.
Proceed, good man.
The name is Reggie Whitewood.
Reggie Whitewood.
And, uh, here's something for your trouble, okay? Thank you, sir.
And enjoy your stay, sir.
Don't mention it.
Good day now.
You've gone insane! Laura, when you're $150,000 in the hole what's another few thousand, more or less? Dear God! What's that? - Hi, kids.
- Hi.
A few things, Mildred? Some disguise, huh? It worked like a charm.
I've been around Grogan all morning, and he hasn't suspected a thing.
Well, inconspicuous is what comes to mind, Mildred.
Mm.
- You like the fur, chief? - Oh, I love it.
Love it.
It looks real, doesn't it? You've both gone insane.
Where's Grogan? He was at that crap table just a few minutes ago.
All right.
Let's split up.
Right.
Swindler! - Laura Holt? - Yes.
Norman Keyes, Vigilance Insurance.
- Could I speak to you for a few minutes? - Uh, I'm- - It's about your boss.
- What about him? He's a fraud.
Smoke bother you? Not as much as you do.
Well, I have that effect on people.
I think it's generic.
How well do you know Remington Steele? I've been with him since he formed the agency.
Did the name Michael O'Leary ever pop up in conversation? - Who's Michael O'Leary? - He is.
Under that name, he stole a painting called The Five Nudes of Cairo.
- That's absurd.
- What about Richard Blaine? That ring any bells? - No.
- It does with the Mexico City police.
Under than name, he's wanted in connection with the theft of some jewels called the Marchesa Collection.
Now, where did you get this stuff? Your boss has more aliases than a phone book.
The deeper I dig, the dirtier he gets.
Not that I believe any of this but what made you pick up the shovel in the first place, Keyes? - You get your kicks rolling in the mud? - Your boss stepped on my toes.
Taking the Murdock case away from me was a mistake because it made me angry, and that made me think and the more I thought, the more things didn't add up.
Wait a minute.
Mr.
Steele is trying to recover the Murdock jewels for your company.
Oh, is he now? So that's what this is all about.
You think Mr.
Steele is in on the robbery.
Honey, right now you're so clean, people could eat off you.
But the longer you stick with him, the grimier you get.
You're not really interested in Mr.
Steele's alleged past, are you? - You want the jewels.
- And the thieves.
And if I can convince you that Mr.
Steele had nothing to do with the robbery- if, in fact, Mr.
Steele can deliver you the goods- I'll walk away a happy man.
Come on, Keyes.
I'm gonna make you so happy you're gonna hate yourself.
Comin'out.
Comin'out.
Here they go.
Okay, babies.
Eight straight passes.
- Smile on me, darlings.
Blow on 'em, sweetheart.
- Here's luck.
- Comin'out again.
- Babies! - Come on! - Three.
Craps.
Ate ya alive.
Line down.
Three, craps.
Bye-bye.
- Havin' a good time, Eddie? - Hi, fellas.
Walk.
- What's this all about? - You lied to Mr.
Smith! - I say, old chaps, what seems to be the problem? - Reggie? - There's no problem.
- Get lost, pal.
- What are you doing here? - Looking for action.
- I guess you found it, huh? - Who were those fellows? - They work for a friend of mine.
- A friend? Well, actually an acquaintance.
Must be some misunderstanding.
Hey, let's go in here where the air's a little more unhealthy.
- Uncanny similarity.
- Sonny's got everything but Sinatra's salary.
Well, colorful community, Edward.
Do you come here often? - Every time I have a few bucks.
- Oh, I see.
In that case, perhaps I could entice you into another game of poker.
- Hey, I owe you.
- Uh-huh.
But I'm tapped out.
You, uh-You mean to say the 150,000- Que serĂ¡, serĂ¡.
Lovely sentiment, yes.
Listen, Edward, what about your, uh, collateral? Can't get my hands on it right now.
Look, Edward, old man, I don't mean to appear dense but last night you told me you could take me right to it.
- Well, I exaggerated.
- You mean you lied.
Only if I lost.
Tell me, Edward, did you ever have any collateral? Are you kiddin'? The stuff I had was worth a couple mil at least but I hocked it.
- You hocked it? - I needed cash for the table.
See, there's this guy in town, he's kinda like a pawnbroker.
When you run out of legitimate credit, you take whatever you can get your hands on to him.
No questions asked.
You got 10 days to redeem it before he sells it.
I got 30 grand for my stuff.
- You got 30 grand? - It is a little hot.
Look, Edward, if- if this, uh, stuff you have is as valuable as you say it is I can get a lot more than 30 grand for it.
- Yeah? - Of course, we'll have to redeem it first, you know.
Well, that'll only take 50 thou.
Fifty thou? Well, the guy's entitled to make a profit, isn't he? Who is this we're talking about, Edward? Name's Seymour Smith.
Works out of a suite at the Nugget.
Say, 50 thou for a high roller like you, that isn't a problem, is it? No, I mean, I spend as much as that a week on tips, you know.
Put her there, partner.
Yes, well, may we each get exactly what we deserve.
Right.
Well, this has been a lovely walking tour of Vegas, Miss Holt but it appears your boss has put one over on you.
I told you Mr.
Steele is somewhere on Grogan's trail.
He's as bent on finding those jewels as you are.
I pity Grogan if he holds back on Mr.
Steele this time.
The boss will turn him inside out.
Isn't that great? Steele certainly is giving him a hard time, huh? Why, that treacherous snake! All right, Keyes, how do we nail him? I can't believe what I'm hearing! You told Keyes that you'd help trap me? What was I supposed to tell him? That you were a thief and you are a fraud? Good point.
Well, so much for the truth.
- Time for Plan "B.
" Hmm.
- Which is? Treachery and deceit.
The hounds want a fox to chase? We shall provide one.
I'll get Keyes out of your hair while you move on to the next phase of our master plan.
"And what's that," she asked with a feeling of impending doom.
Raising $50,000.
$50,000? Well, a mere bagatelle, Laura, considering what it would buy for us: Murdock's jewels, Grogan, a finder's fee, and- and our reputation's restored.
- We already owe the insurance company- - I know.
- $150,000.
- Yes.
This suite, your car and Mildred's outfit put us back another small fortune.
And now you want $50,000 more? Laura, will you listen, for heaven's sake! Grogan gave the jewels to a quasi-pawnbroker.
We have to get them out of hock.
Why not just steal the damn things back? I'm absolutely shocked.
Actually, I've thought about it, but it's a bit too risky.
Anyway, I told Grogan I'd meet him tonight at 6:00 to reclaim the jewels.
No, he has to get out of town.
And besides that, he's got two nasty characters after him.
Now, I've had Mildred draw up our financial situation.
Mildred, will you come in here, please? Yes, Mr.
Steele? Mildred, will you explain to Miss Holt our financial situation here? Total assets of the agency top out at 72,000 or thereabouts.
- See? We can swing it.
- And how much can we get our hands on say, by 6:00 tonight? Quick current assets: 3,420.
Not exactly what I'd call bullish.
All right, all right, all right.
Everybody, empty your pockets.
- What? - Just do it.
It's time for the old math major to go to work.
Mildred, I want you to run down to the newsstand and get me a book on casino odds.
- I need to refresh my memory.
- Well, I need a couple of bucks.
- Charge it to the room.
I need every cent.
- Laura, look- I would rather face the odds than Vigilance Insurance if we don't get these jewels back.
Now, if you have any better suggestion, I'd be glad to hear it.
All right.
What do we do about Keyes? Call for Mr.
Norman Keyes.
Mr.
Norman Keyes? - Call for Mr.
Keyes.
- Here you are.
I'm Keyes.
Okay, sir.
You can take your call right here, sir.
- Thank you.
- Yes, sir.
- Keyes here.
- Holt.
- What do you got for me? - He's on his way down.
Called for his car.
He wouldn't say where he's going but I've got a feeling it's important.
All right, I got him.
We'll talk later.
I got you a few.
$186.
23.
It's not much of a stake, but it's better than nothing.
Are you sure you know what you're doing? Of course not, Mildred, but when has that stopped us before? Good point.
All right, we're trailing that Corvette, only we don't want him to know he's being trailed.
- You got it? - Yes, sir.
- I think I'm ready.
- Oh, Miss Holt remember what happened to me in Cannes? - Maybe we should just- - My chips, Mildred.
Come on.
Hit.
Hit.
You hit on 16? - You can stay on one condition, Mildred.
- What's that? - You have to shut up.
- Good point.
What do they call this part of town? The desert.
You are the coolest cucumber I've ever seen.
You're fantastic.
I have a mathematical appreciation for the game, Mildred.
I don't understand the emotional component.
Well, this has been very profitable, but it's moving much too slowly.
- Collect the chips, Mildred.
- Here you go, Tim.
Sorry.
We need every sou.
Catch you later.
We're up to $65, sir.
I can read.
And quit calling me sir.
Reshuffling, reloading the chips.
Five hundred.
There you are.
I don't know this game, Miss Holt.
I played baccarat for 12 straight hours in Cannes won and lost tens of thousands of dollars and I still don't know the first thing about it.
It's very simple, Mildred.
You either bet on the player or you bet on the bank.
It appears that's all there is to it.
I'm game.
Okay.
That'll be a dollar.
- Is there a back door here? - Yes, sir.
Right through there.
He drove all the way to Hoover Dam to buy postcards? Don't hold me up! Put it right down there! Laura! All right, put everything behind the pass line, Mildred! Oh, Miss Holt, that's $30,000! - Come on, Mildred, play it out there now! - Oh, my God! - Laura! - Hah! Laura! Hey, hey! Don't interrupt her now.
She's held the dice for 15 minutes! It's the best streak I've ever seen! Laura! Laura! Laura! Laura, stop, please! - What are you doing? - Just please stop! - Mildred, how much are we ahead? - 60,000! - 60,000? - Let me go! I can't miss! Laura, please! Just hold on a second, please! - You don't know what you're doing! You can stop! - These people need me! You can stop! You don't have to do it! Laura, you don't know what you're doing! You need sleep! You don't understand! - Sleep is for cowards! - Don't bite me, Laura! Let me go! You can't do this to me! - The lady retires! The lady retires! - No! No! No! - Good night.
- No! Mildred! No! Mildred! No! No! No! No! Grogan's late.
- I owe you an apology.
- Hmm? I acted quite unprofessionally a few minutes ago.
Well, it's only natural, Laura.
You were on a fantastic streak.
I embarrassed myself.
You're remarkable.
You save our hides by parlaying a pocketful of change into $60,000 and then you get upset because you get a little carried away.
I was willing to risk everything on the next roll.
Just makes you human, Laura.
Appealingly human.
- Hello, Grogan.
- Murdock.
You were supposed to return the jewels.
Now, where are they? - Well, you owe me 10 grand.
- You're a prize.
You double-cross me, and you still want the rest of your money? Listen, you miserable twerp, you're lucky I don't blow your worthless head off! - I want the jewels.
- I haven't got 'em.
But I can get 'em.
Well, perhaps I should visit this pawnbroker myself.
I think the issue just became moot.
Pick a card.
! - Miss Holt! - Mr.
Keyes, where have you been? - I thought you were- - Never mind that.
Was that Steele just now? - I tried to stall him.
- Hey, come on.
If we hurry, we can follow him.
- I can feel the noose tightening.
- Oh.
$500.
Don't feel too badly.
After all, you're not selling it outright.
You come back within 10 days with a thousand dollars, and it's yours again.
Poor suckers will never learn.
Thank God.
- Smith.
- Mr.
Smith, I'm a blackjack dealer over at the D.
I.
- Word's out you're looking for Eddie Grogan.
- That's right.
Well, I'm eyeballing him right now and he's spending dough like a crazy man.
You drop by tomorrow.
There'll be something for you.
Thank you, sir.
Grogan's at the D.
I.
- Eddie, what's this all about? - The jewels.
The jewels? You're kidding, Eddie.
Come on.
This is a gag, huh? Get them.
Mister, you've gotta be crazy.
Those jewels are- I know all about them.
Get them! You and your pal are dead, Grogan.
You know that, don't ya? You know that, don't ya? Mr.
Smith? Hello? Hello, Mr.
- Well, well.
I know this doesn't look good.
Call the police.
The longer you wait, Miss Holt, the more I'm gonna think you're part of this.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I have one piece of advice for you, Mr.
Steele.
- Yeah? - Run.
Okay.
Eddie! Eddie! What happened? Eddie? - Here, Reggie.
They're all yours.
- What? Damn you! Grogan, come back here! - Eddie! - Give it to me! - What the hell do you want? - The case.
Wrong case! Steele! Steele! You shouldn't have killed Smith.
Steele, you're going away for a long time.
- He killed Seymour? - That's right! He shot him! Oh, my God! Oh! Wait a minute! Wait! No! Wait! Wait! No! No! Well, easy come- Okay, Eddie looks like these jewels are going back where they belong.
That's right.
And with you two finally gone, that'll be the end of it.
Eddie, never, never bet against the house, mate.
They're really paste? Absolutely.
This whole thing was about fake jewels? It turns out Murdock has been doing some heavy gambling of his own, Mildred- speculating in the commodities market.
And so, to cover his losses, he sold the original jewelry and replaced it with paste so neither his wife nor anyone else would suspect that he was in trouble.
When things got worse, Murdock hired Grogan to steal the jewels for the insurance money.
Yeah, but he didn't tell Grogan the jewels were fake.
He just gave him instructions on how to pull off the robbery and told him "Just return the stuff the next day.
" But Grogan, thinking that they were real, double-crossed Murdock.
Right.
So he gave them to Smith to hold for $30,000.
Smith took a closer look at them and thought that Eddie was trying to double-cross him.
Murdock came to Las Vegas because he'd be ruined if the fakes were recovered.
So Smith lost his life for paste jewelry.
I gotta get back to the home office.
Incidentally, I spoke to Mr.
Capstone, our president.
He said since you saved us a two-and-a-half-million-dollar payout you can forget the 150,000 you owe us.
- Hah! - Ooh, what about the finder's fee? Finder's fee? What, on paste? A memento.
Are you a betting man? Uh, Miss Holt is the gambler of the organization.
Well, I'll be willing to lay you odds I'll be seeing you again, Steele.
Or whoever you are.
What-What did he mean by that? Hmm? Oh, every good detective has many faces, Mildred.
Many.
- That's it.
- Where are you going? - To cry.
- Oh.
We had all that money.
Well, we still have about $10,000 left over which should just about cover our Las Vegas expenses.
Colorful community, Miss Holt.
Shall we? I must say, it looks awfully real, doesn't it? You could probably palm it off on some poor, unsuspecting soul.
If I'm not careful, Miss Holt, you could make an honest man out of me.
I'm counting on it, Mr.
Steele.