Remington Steele (1982) s04e05 Episode Script

Forged Steele

Remington Steele to see my dear friend B.
I make it a point to get acquainted with my business partners before getting into bed with them.
Where have you been for the last 36 hours? Do you happen to remember if I was with anyone? - I've never been so insulted in my entire life.
- We're dead.
- Uh, what day is it? - It was a nightmare, I can assure you.
- Huh.
- He's still my boss.
I feel like I've come in at the wrong reel of a movie.
These client interviews tend to drag on a bit, Fred so I'll call when I'm finished, okay? I'll see you later.
Good afternoon.
Remington Steele.
I have an appointment with B.
- Of course, sir.
- Thank you.
So glad you could make it.
You're B.
Sinclair? - Disappointed? - Uh, to the contrary, no.
I just thought the founder of B.
Sinclair Industries, uh, was- Was a man.
Happens all the time.
I should have known better, Miss Sinclair.
You could make it up to me tonight.
- Shall we? - We're going someplace? Mr.
Steele, I make it a point to get acquainted with my business partners before getting into bed with them.
So to speak.
Excellent practice.
Now, we could spend the evening talking about my corporate security contract in this big old house.
Bit dry.
Or we can discuss it while enjoying a night out and getting to know each other as people.
Far more personable.
Now you can see why I didn't ask your associate, Miss Holt, along.
I hope she wasn't offended but I thought it might cramp things a bit.
Oh, completely understandable.
I merely suggested she come along to facilitate her on-the-job training.
I'm sure once I explain things to Miss Holt she'll be entirely sympathetic to your point of view.
Well, then- Here's to the start of something special.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yes, uh- Mr.
Steele in, uh- Mr.
Steele in, uh-Yes.
Quick question, operator.
What hotel is this? Ah.
The Rexford Palms.
Of course.
Superb hostelry.
Yes, of course.
Keep up the good work.
Good day.
Uh- Uh- Yes, Steele here again.
Yes, uh- Another harmless query.
Uh, what day is it? Sure? No, no, no.
Nothing's wrong.
At these rates, I just wanted to make sure you were on your toes.
That's all.
Tell me, operator, just to confirm my records, uh- When did I check in? Two days ago, huh? And, uh, do you happen to remember if I was with anyone? Ha.
Stumped you at last.
Nice try anyway.
Good day.
- Comin' through, pal.
- Oh, gentlemen, there's been a slight misunderstanding.
- Move it or lose it, buddy.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Mildred, what is this? Gone only one full day, and she redecorates without me? Oh, boss, thank God you're here.
- It's not true, is it? What happened to you? - Huh? - You can explain everything, right? - Mildred, let's not overreact.
I mean, we all miss a day of work now and then, but this is ridiculous.
Miss Holt has been frantic, but she's got Reuben on it and I'm sure it'll be okay, right? - Now that you're here? - Reuben Saltzman, our attorney? - What's this got to do with him? - Oh, boss, you're not well, are you? - We're doomed.
- I'm fine, Mildred.
You're the one that's not making any sense.
Where's Miss Holt, so we can get all this straightened out? - She's in there, with him.
- "Him"? You know- him.
- Cranston? - We're finished.
- Oh, Miss Holt.
- Mr.
Steele! Oh! - Oh.
- You're all right.
Laura, it's only been one day.
- Now we can finally get some answers.
- What? - You're a mess.
- Huh? - Are you sure you're all right? - Yes.
Yes, I'm fine, but- Listen.
I've got Reuben checking the signature.
I'm sure it's a phony, but when you tell him what happened - we'll get an injunction and then all this- - Injunction? Signature? What are you talking about? I feel like I've come in at the wrong reel of a movie.
Oh, we're doomed.
We're finished.
- This is no time to panic.
- Well, if this isn't, I don't know when is.
- Would someone kindly tell me what is- - Comin' through, pal.
Would someone please tell me what in bloody hell is going on here? Easy with that, boys.
That's a family treasure.
I thought I recognized a familiar voice out here.
Keeping banker's hours, huh, Steele? Just kidding.
You go ahead and do whatever it is you do, just so long as we get results.
Listen, when you've got a minute, I'd like to see you in my office.
New client? Hmm? We're dead.
You don't know that man? I never laid eyes on him before in my life.
What the blazes is he doing in my office? And what the hell has happened to your office? What is going on here, Laura? Thirty-six hours- James Garner, Rod Taylor.
MGM, 1964.
But that doesn't explain- Where have you been for the last 36 hours? At the Rexford Palms Hotel, apparently, flat on my back.
Laura, all I remember is that after my Wednesday afternoon appointment with B.
Sinclair, it was suddenly Friday morning.
Does the Colony Park Club ring any bells? Should it? Only to this degree- Two nights ago, at the Colony Park Club you got drunk, entered a high-stake poker game and in a hand worth a quarter of a million dollars put up the Remington Steele Agency as collateral- and lost to that man in there- Harry Cranston.
And let me assure you folks that when it comes to investigating the Los Angeles transit system Mr.
Steele has no peer.
- Cranston, is it? - Oh, Steele.
I want you to meet the Ralapindi family from Pakistan.
Greatest group-whiplash opportunity you've ever seen.
This is Ahmed, Amata, Gazala, Momtaz, Salim- Charmed, I'm sure, but you and I have more important business to discuss.
Don't be so hasty, Steele.
When the supermarket tabloids get wind of this we're talking publicity like this agency has never seen before.
I'm talking about business between you and me, mate.
That's what I'm talking about.
Steele, this is no way to start off a healthy relationship with our new employer.
He's a bit nervous about the new arrangement.
Justifiably, I suppose.
But he's got to understand who's the boss around here.
Now, Steele, I warned you- Could we discuss this outside? We'll be back in a minute, folks.
Steele, I warned you before you signed that note- Wait a minute, pal.
Wait a minute.
What note? Boy, when he ties one on, he really doesn't remember a thing, does he? The promissory note pledging the agency and all its assets.
I told you to bet with your head, not with your heart but, oh, no, you were determined.
Now, I admire your spirit, and I will admit that my straight flush was pretty well hidden, but still- Laura, I don't know this man.
I never played cards with this man.
I never signed any note.
Look, you take all the time you need to get over the shock, Steele.
I owe you that much before working your tail off.
Remington Steele Investigations a division of Cranston Industries.
- I don't believe this is happening.
- For you, Mr.
Cranston- Penthouse Magazine.
- What? - Don't be so naive, Miss Hall.
- Holt! - Dirty linen- That's the name of the investigative game today.
You get a hot case and it gets on the news wires and you're gonna have clients pounding at that door.
Now, I've got a Washington conspiracy case for you two to check out that'll make Watergate look like Mother Goose.
And these magazine fellas are interested in the exclusive rights to the story.
A sleazebag and a liar- but a commendable grasp of marketing.
You take it easy now, folks and Mr.
Steele will be in touch with you.
- Oh, Reuben.
Thank heavens.
! - Uh, Miss Holt.
It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr.
Thank you, Reuben, but the joy is wasted on me, old chap.
Did you get the injunction? - Not exactly, which is why- - What do you mean, not exactly? That man in there is the biggest fraud since Tony Curtis in The Great Impostor.
Well, yes, but we have to prove it, you see which is why I brought along Mr.
Fairbanks here so that you could hear it from him.
You see, at the moment, Mr.
Steele everything hinges on proving that the promissory note you allegedly signed is a forgery.
Reuben, of course it's a forgery.
Yes, well- Mr.
My name is Kenneth Fairbanks.
I'm a handwriting expert whose work has been used in major forgery cases too numerous to mention.
References available upon request.
Well, not only have I examined this promissory note but I have also shared said material and comparison signatures with two other eminent colleagues in my field- References also available upon request.
Our separate conclusions are the same.
This signature is undeniably that of Mr.
- Impossible.
- Improbable, perhaps, but true nonetheless.
So you see, I'm a little stuck at the moment.
Laura, you gotta believe me.
I didn't sign that note.
- I do.
- You do? Reuben, there has to be something you can do- a restraining order or something.
Well, uh, I'm a little rusty in that whole area.
Well, put it into gear, buster.
It's about time you started earning your retainer.
You're the obvious victim of a very clever scam to hoodwink us out of the agency.
- You thought that from the start? - Of course.
After all we've been through together do you really think I'd believe you would stake Remington Steele Investigations- the major accomplishment of my life the product of six years of hard work- as collateral in a card game? Would I ever think that you would be that reckless, that foolhardy, that stupid? Do I have to answer? Well, while Reuben tries to find a legal means to stop Cranston from turning our office into an adjunct of the scandal sheets we have to figure out who's behind this how they did it and why.
Laura, you're being remarkably calm about all this.
Steele, when Cranston entered my life yesterday I had one of two choices.
I could believe in you and know there's a way out of this or I could believe him- in which case I would have had to hunt you down tear your heart out and scatter it to the four winds before jumping off the nearest available building myself.
Good choice, eh? It had to be a drug in the champagne, Laura.
Sounds likely.
Unless I miss my guess, the seductive B.
Sinclair will be long gone by now.
How can you be so sure? North by Northwest.
Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint.
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock.
MGM, 1959.
Grant returns to a mansion that was once full of spies only to find it occupied by ordinary inhabitants.
Let's see.
- Yes? - You remember me, don't you, Jeeves? Remington Steele to see my dear friend B.
I'm afraid Miss Sinclair isn't available.
- Oh, really? - Perhaps if you told Miss Sinclair that it's urgent.
I'm sorry.
You'll have to make an appointment when she returns from her ranch in Wyoming.
- Wyoming, is it? Out of my way.
- Just a moment, please.
Just a moment.
You're not permitted inside.
I knew it.
I knew it.
She has flown the coop.
Rogers, what's all the commotion? Miss Sinclair, I'm terribly sorry.
- You! - So much for old Hitch.
They barged in.
I'm sorry.
It's all right, Rogers.
Take my bags.
- Yes, ma'am.
- I'll deal with Mr.
I'm surprised you had the temerity to show your face.
Miss Sinclair, I'm Laura Holt, Mr.
Steele's associate.
- You poor dear.
- Now, let's just dispense with the pleasantries here.
I want your explanation, and I want it now.
My explanation? I've never been so insulted in my entire life.
Insulted? Believe me, Miss Holt, I understand that some men have to prove their masculinity by drinking beyond their limit- Now, wait just a bloody minute here.
Go on, Miss Sinclair.
Tell me what happened.
There's not much to tell.
We went to the club.
- The Colony Park Club? - Yes- And there's always a card game in the back room.
Steele, a bit tipsy from the champagne downed several drinks in quick succession and then abandoned me- his host and client- in front of all my friends.
- And entered into the poker game.
- Yes.
And when it was over you dropped him off at the Rexford Palm Hotel.
I most certainly did not.
I was mortified by his behavior.
I ordered my car immediately after Mr.
Steele left me and returned home.
I was playing cards with your friends, was I? My friends wouldn't play cards with a man in your condition.
Sounds like quite an evening.
- It was a nightmare, I can assure you.
- Hmm.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch.
She's good.
She's very good.
Total fabrication, Laura, every word.
But convincingly constructed to hold up in court.
- What? - If we're going to beat these people it has to be as Reuben says- with proof.
How do we do that? By following up this fabrication until we find a flaw.
Next stop- Look familiar? - Not in the slightest.
- Good.
Welcome back, Mr.
Good to see you.
It appears Cranston left no palm unbuttered.
Steele, good to see you again.
And who is the lovely lady this evening? - Laura Holt.
- A pleasure.
The usual, sir? Moscow Mule, iced in a pewter mug with a sprig of mint? - Excellent.
- And for the lady? Scotch- straight up.
This way, please.
A flaw, you were saying, Laura.
Look for a flaw, remember? Remington! Well, don't you remember me? Delores, your good luck charm.
He was so cute.
He had me blow on his cards before every deal.
Oh, what a guy.
Oh- Isn't it beautiful? Remmy gave it to me as a tip.
Hey! In retrospect, I don't think he was that pleased with the service.
Icy calm, Mr.
Steele, remember? There's a time to be calm and a time to be totally unreasonable.
Now is the time to be totally unreasonable.
Thus far, we haven't been able to disprove any aspect of Cranston's story.
We can't afford to get fired from our own agency.
Our only chance is to stay close and see what his game is.
Icy calm, Miss Holt.
Icy calm.
- Can I help you? - Who are you? I'm Miss Rebello, the new receptionist.
Whom may I say is calling? - Where's Mildred? - Krebs? - Just canned her.
- You what? Come on, guy.
We're in the image business.
Nobody wants to see an old battle-ax manning the phones.
- You animal! - Icy calm, Laura.
Icy calm.
Mildred! Oh, Mildred.
Passionate woman.
- Take a memo.
- Okay.
- She's fired.
- Not a bright idea, Harry.
- How's that? - Short-tempered though she may be she's a very valuable asset.
Part of the corporate worth.
You wouldn't want to just throw that away, would you? All right, she gets a second chance.
- But talk to her.
- Oh, absolutely.
Good to see you getting back into the swing of things again, Steele.
Oh, we're gonna get to know each other really well.
You know that, Harry? I guarantee you, mate.
Miss Rebello, bring your pad.
Mildred, this whole mess is only temporary.
Yeah? How can you be so sure? Because we're going to prove that it's all a scam that Mr.
Steele is innocent of everything they say.
- Uh, Miss Holt.
- Any progress, Reuben? Well, maybe.
I have to file some papers with a judge downtown but what I really need is for either you or Mr.
Steele to help prepare the documentation beforehand.
- Friendly place for a meeting.
- Melvin Belli here is having a little trouble with his paperwork.
I have to go with Reuben for an hour.
While you were busy being icy calm, I got a lead on Cranston.
- An address.
- First things first.
I'll call as soon as we're done.
Come on, Reuben.
- Uh- - Boss? - Hmm? - I'm free.
I guess it's my lucky day.
Come on, Mildred.
Remind me to talk to Fred about the distinction between being a good soldier and an outright toady.
Come on, Mildred.
Let's go.
It's nice, but a bit impersonal.
Trademark of a professional con man- no signpost leading to your past.
I guess you should know.
Not even a monogrammed handkerchief.
Cranston's clever but he's not perfect.
- Here.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, that's lovely.
Three bogus passports.
Albert Nims, Australia.
Roy Parcell, England.
And Victor Belski, Sweden.
Holy cow.
He's another you.
Uh, kind of a former you.
Mildred, why do I get the feeling - you're not entirely behind me on this one? - I'm behind you.
Yes, and ready to shove at the next cliff, it appears.
- Okay, chief.
Here it is.
- Mm-hmm.
I've seen the kind of trouble you've put Miss Holt through and I have watched her defend you when 99 out of a hundred women wouldn't.
And, well- I just hope you're worth it.
So do I.
! No sudden moves.
You have the right to remain silent.
If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say- You're making a big mistake! Keyes? - Norman Keyes? - Oh, I'm touched you remember, Steele.
Vigilance Insurance.
- Keyes, will you explain to these gentlemen- - Explain what? That you didn't know your office was sitting on top of six million bucks in unset diamonds? - Keyes, listen.
- There's plenty of time for chat, Steele.
Right now I think these gentlemen would like a word with you first.
Huh? You sure you want all this on the record, Steele? - Absolutely.
- Okay.
You say this woman Delores was wearing your I.
bracelet but you never set foot in the club before - and you have no idea how she got it? - Correct.
I assume someone took it off me after I had been drugged.
And was this before or after - the six Pakistanis with group whiplash? - After- I mean, before.
Someone took it off me before the Pakistanis - but I didn't discover it was missing until after.
- Come on, Steele.
It's a great story, but we're all a little tired hearing about poker games and office redecoration.
Now, where are the goodies? The goodies! - I'll do what I can for you.
- If you want your bloody diamonds, Keyes you really should be looking for Harry Cranston and B.
Sinclair- or whoever they really are.
I have some rather amusing reading here for you based on the reports from my men.
There is no waitress named Delores at the Colony Park Club.
The doorman doesn't know you.
The waiters don't know you.
Oh, the Rexford Palms Hotel has no record of you ever having stayed there.
Sinclair says she never met you.
The condominium address you gave us for Harry Cranston is vacant.
And we can find no trace of a receptionist named Debbie Rebello.
Okay, I'm gonna give you the rest of the night to think this over, and then I'm gonna get mean.
Oh, Detective, come on.
It's an obvious scam.
You really should see North by Northwest.
You'll realize that- Reuben, where the hell have you been? Never mind.
Don't explain.
Just give 'em the promissory note, will you? Well, you see, that's why I was late.
Uh, my office was broken into.
The-The note was stolen.
Aw, you're a prize, Steele, you really are.
You know you almost had me fooled just now? One thing puzzles me though.
Why'd you come back? The safe was peeled.
The stuff was gone.
Were you afraid you left some clue behind? You needn't have bothered.
Once they alerted me and I saw whose office was above the safe I knew who pulled that job.
I'm going to enjoy rubbing your nose in this someday, Keyes.
Yeah, don't hold your breath, glamour boy.
This nose of mine has a sense of its own when it comes to knowing who's a crook and who isn't.
And when it first picked up your scent, I knew.
- You're no private detective, and I'm going to prove it.
- You're wasting your time.
I'm gonna find those diamonds, and then I'm going to tell a little story about the guy who stole them- a guy with five passports and a misterioso past.
And it'll be good-bye, Remington Steele hello, Leavenworth.
Reuben you've been a brick.
No offense, Mildred, but where's Miss Holt? She got an urgent call from Norman Keyes.
What could be more urgent than bailing me out? I'm sorry, Mildred.
I don't mean to take it out on you.
Let's just pay the bail and get me out of here, shall we? Uh, boss, the diamonds they say you took- which I know you didn't, 'cause you don't do that sort of thing anymore- are worth $6 million.
- So? - So they set your bail at $500,000.
- That's a lot of shekels.
- Are you saying I'm stuck in here? Just until we come up with something.
I brought you some good books.
Ah, Miss Holt, glad you could make it in time for the unmasking of Remington Steele.
In other words, you haven't found anything yet.
We will.
Got sent to Paris once.
A diamond job.
We knew the guy had the stuff stashed in his apartment.
Couldn't find it- Till finally I noticed the dining room light wasn't working.
Check the light fixtures and the switch plates.
You wanted to see me- I'm here.
Though I thought it would just be the two of us.
- Miss Holt, I always thought you were an innocent dupe.
- I'm flattered.
Back in Vegas, Steele pulled the wool over our eyes, remember? Now things are a bit different.
He's still my boss.
He's also a thief and a liar.
What I mean is, you're too smart a cookie to let him do that to you again.
Yeah, completely baffled by a guy in New Orleans once who stole some microchips.
Sat down in the middle of his apartment, stumped.
Got hungry.
That was it.
Check the refrigerator.
You really get a kick out of this, don't you, Keyes? It's my job.
Now, listen, honey.
Steele is gonna do serious time.
When the sentence comes down, you can look good or you can look bad depending on how cooperative you've been.
- You help me wrap this up- - Thanks, but I think I'd rather take my chances with the jury.
! Hey.
This guy is a real connoisseur when it comes to cheese.
I wonder what thejury'll say about that.
Remington Steele Investigations.
Mildred, we're in trouble, and I need your help.
Excuse me.
May I borrow your sugar? Norman Keyes? - I know you? - Mildred Krebs.
Las Vegas? The Murdoch affair.
Oh, yeah.
You-You worked- You work for- Right.
Remington Steele.
I used to anyhow.
Oh, that fink.
Who'd have thought it, huh? Boy.
You must be on top of the world.
Steele in jail and your picture in all the papers.
Yeah, right.
Do you mind if I join you? It's a free country.
Well, here's to Remington Steele.
- Long may he swing in the breeze.
- Mm-hmm.
You don't seem too happy, for a Mountie who just got his man.
I'm not in the man business.
That's a cop's game.
- I'm in the recovery business.
- I read you got the diamonds too.
A few rocks worth a measly 200,000.
There's still 5.
8 million out there.
Oh, well, I'm sure you'll find them in one of the boss's old hiding places.
- What hiding places? - I don't know.
It's just that he used to say he had a few places around town where he'd stash things for emergencies.
- You think he put the diamonds there? - I don't know where else.
Why don't you just follow him? You can't do that, can you? He's in jail.
- What if he wasn't in jail? - Knowing Steele like I do - What if he wasn't in jail? - Knowing Steele like I do I'd say the minute he sees daylight he'll cash out and make a run for it.
- Uh-huh.
- What are we talking about? Miss Holt can't make bail.
It's too high.
- But Vigilance Insurance can.
- What? Anonymously.
Then I follow Steele, and when he goes for the diamonds-Wham.
Oh, Keyes.
You are some shrewd operator.
You know something, Mildred? For an old broad, you're okay.
You're cute.
- Yes? - You're the butler? Yes.
And you, madam? I'm Mrs.
I had an appointment to see the house.
- Today? - Well, I'm sure the agent called.
Perhaps if you checked with- Who is it, Charles? A Mrs.
Vanderhusen to see the house.
I'm sorry, dear, but I'm really not up to showing the house today.
I just got back from Wyoming an hour ago.
I-I stopped by yesterday.
- Perhaps I confused you with your daughter.
- I don't have any children.
Beautiful young woman.
Tall, blonde- - Lovely features.
- That sounds like Christy.
- Christy? - Christy McCall, from Excelsior Reality.
She has the listing on the house.
Lovely woman.
And bright.
Extremely bright.
Never realized how much I missed the smog.
You know, I've never heard of an anonymous bail donor.
I just don't get it.
That seems to be a pattern with you, Reuben.
I'm sure it's one of my many past clients who have trust in me.
I think something's fishy here.
Try and do something useful, Reuben, won't you? - Let's go.
- You arranged bail? It was Mildred, actually, by way of Vigilance Insurance.
I'll explain, but come on.
Get in.
What are you doing? I'd like to talk for a moment.
- Considering the situation- - Just a brief walk.
Come on.
It's okay.
I, uh- I missed you in jail.
Well, didn't Mildred explain? I- We were there- Are you telling me that Laura Holt the woman who can talk her way past anyone couldn't find a way to reach me? Look, I mean, the police- You know, I mean, once they make up their minds- You didn't want to see me.
- That isn't true.
I just- - It is true.
I can feel it.
Something happened when you found out about the robbery, didn't it? Your trust in me wavered- just a little bit perhaps.
- No, it- - Once a thief, always a thief? Isn't that what went through your mind? Hmm? Laura? I- I didn't want to think it.
It- It just happened.
Tell me.
Well, I know it's crazy, because I know I can trust you.
Just tell me.
You must admit, it's the perfect double con.
You make me believe you've been set up I work to get you out of it and then, once we prove you're innocent you split with Cranston and the others and then- And then? What? And then you go away.
I thought so.
I know I've put you through a lot.
Perhaps I haven't told you often enough how glad I am we're together.
Well, I'm telling you now.
I'm not going anywhere, Laura.
You'd better come up with something quick to get me off the hook.
I've got a lead.
I thought you might.
- The B.
Sinclair that you met? - Yes? Real name, Christy McCall.
I've got her address.
You're very good at this.
Ever thought of becoming a detective? You really want me along? You've earned the privilege, Mildred.
I want to be sure you collect your share of the reward money.
Think she skipped town already? No, somehow I don't think so.
There you go.
Looks like the thought occurred to her though.
" Harry Cranston.
The initials on the briefcase.
Looks like the gang's all here.
Laura? Well, Harry just ran out of aces.
So did you, Steele.
And you too, Miss Holt.
Wrong choice, honey.
Steele, I always thought you were too smart to add murder to your list of crimes.
Mildred, call the police.
Go ahead, honey, it's all right.
Use the phone.
You heard the man, Mildred.
Use the phone.
All right, let's go.
There we go, Mildred.
Good work, Mildred.
Yeah, terrific.
I just became an accessory to murder.
- Oh! - All right.
- Squid? - You don't want yours, chief? - Uh-huh.
- Oh.
The way I figure it Cranston brought Christy into this scam and then she got a little greedy.
Mm-hmm, so she terminates him as they're about to take off to parts unknown with the diamonds.
Well, how do we track her? By going to the Marina Park Causeway and finding a boat called The Graceful Lady.
Forget the squid, Mildred.
- Come on, let's go.
- Wait a minute.
Out the back.
Out the back.
Let's go.
Come on.
- Oh, my.
- Laura, leave it.
Leave it.
Leave it, Laura.
Come on.
Come on.
- Mildred! Please, come on.
- Mildred.
Mildred, come on.
Come on! - It was lovely.
Thank you.
- Delightful as usual.
The squid was a little mushy.
Wait a minute.
Here's something.
"Travel itinerary for Mr.
and Mrs.
Harry Cranston.
" Airplane reservations for two, for the Cayman Islands.
- Leaving at 5:00 p.
- That's two hours from now.
Christy McCall? First Cranston, now Christy.
Who's left? I don't know, but I'll wager whoever it is, is gonna be on a plane in two hours.
Oh, no.
Hey! Hey, you wanna make a fast 50? Get me on that boat.
Look! Look! - Mildred? - Yeah? Alert airport security straight away.
You got it.
Debbie Rebello.
I don't believe it.
You're gonna love this one.
- Reuben Saltzman? - Mm-hmm.
Reuben, it's just gonna be me and you.
It's almost a comfort to know the man is not as incompetent as he appears.
We better move before they get on the plane.
Nice, try, old chap, but this is as far as you go.
Sorry to break in, Miss Rebello.
- Let me go.
- Come here, come here.
- No.
Oh, no.
- Reuben- All right, that's him.
Excellent work, Norman.
You've just broken one of the most brilliant diamond heists of the century, mate.
- What? - Don't worry, Norman.
I intend to give you full credit for tracking down cold-blooded killer and master jewel thief Reuben Saltzman and his femme fatale, Debbie Rebello.
There, sir, are your diamonds, and there, sir is the man responsible for their absence.
If you think you're gonna get away with this you're out- Absolutely right, Mr.
Reuben broke down and confessed to everything.
Nice picture of Keyes, wouldn't you say? Mm-hmm.
The curve of his lip really points up the man's inner humanity.
I still can't believe it.
Meek little Reuben a chronic gambler? Yes, with a compulsion to bet on anything with four legs and an innate ability to finish dead last.
Okay, Reuben owed Cranston some money.
Then what? Read the paper, Mildred.
Reuben also represented the diamond exchange downstairs.
He knew when the big deliveries were being made.
So he hatched an elaborate scheme, sold it to Cranston who knew a little bit about con games.
Cranston roped in his girlfriend, Debbie Rebello and her friend, Christy McCall.
Reuben fell head over heels for Debbie apparently the first girl to take off his glasses and look deep into his briefcase.
And lust, fueled by greed led to cross and double-cross.
Okay, but one thing that wasn't in the papers- How did they forge your signature on the promissory note so that it fooled the experts? - It was my signature.
- Wait a minute.
Fly that by me again? Reuben was always in here with documents for Mr.
Steele to sign.
We figure one of those times he just slipped in the note.
Who reads those things anyway, Mildred? Boy.
If you can't trust wimp lawyers anymore, who can you trust? Hmm.
Well, Laura, now that the agency is ours again what's the first order of business?