Remington Steele (1982) s04e14 Episode Script

Santa Claus is Coming to Steele

I'll teach him, graphically, I don't like game playing.
Don't you think that's a little severe? - I just wanna get my hands on that- that- - Greaseball? A woman with intelligence, determination, training can be as stupidly macho as any man.
Dirty Harry is getting to look better and better.
- What happened? - Somebody rigged the elevator.
He's lucky to be alive.
Okay, have it your way.
Come on, boys.
Let's go.
"The Wild Bunch" doesn't need us.
Remington Steele? Oh.
- He's not in yet.
- Laura Holt? I'm gonna use you for target practice, Brunhilde.
Miss Holt's not here either.
Who is it that wants to see them? The spirit of Christmas past.
Lieutenant Benjamin, this is Mildred Krebs, Remington Steele Investigations.
That nut who held us hostage on Christmas Eve- He just strolled in.
Out on bail? That animal is out on bail? No.
No, he didn't threaten me.
Oh, yeah, you do that.
Oh, look into it.
If there is another time, I hope I'm alive to call you.
Oh! Oh, boss, you won't believe who was just in here.
Dancer, the loony tune in the Santa suit.
Go ahead, pretty boy.
Take your best shot.
Boss? I- I'm sorry, Mildred.
The man's made an indelible impression on me.
- You don't see me laughing it off, do you? - What did he want? He asked for you, then Miss Holt.
When I said you weren't here, he left.
- All right.
Alert Miss Holt straightaway, will you? - Right.
! Damn it.
- Sorry, Miss Holt.
- It's all right, Wally.
I'm familiar with the expression and the feeling.
Darn wrench slipped.
How's it going? If we can ever get the coupling back on, we oughta be in business.
Hope I'm not inconveniencing you too much.
The last manager we had never wanted to do anything.
Oh, I enjoy it.
It's a real pleasure to work with my hands again.
My last situation was a real brain drain.
Think, think, think.
If I hadn't left, I think I would have gone nuts.
- Hello? - Miss Holt? The boss wanted me to call you.
- Dancer just paid us a visit.
- Who? Dancer.
The guy that threatened to blow up this building unless he was paid $2 million.
He came to the office? I know I should be an old pro at this, but I'm still shaking.
Did he do anything? Make any threats? Being on the same planet with that creep is threat enough.
The boss wanted me to warn you, so be on your toes.
I will, Mildred.
- Hey, I'm gonna need that.
- Shh! Don't hit me.
I'm bonded.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I- I thought- I thought you were, uh, the plumber.
I've been waiting for him all week.
It got so bad, I had to try to fix the faucet myself.
Lady, I've been bitten by dogs, chased by monkeys and mugged by little old ladies.
But you're the first person who ever tried to turn out my lights because of a leaky faucet.
It was purely unintentional.
- Laura Holt? - Yes.
That's me.
Sign here, please.
- Just a minute.
- Uh, wh-what for? - The tip? - It's okay.
I live simply.
Do you always answer the door like that? Only on Tuesdays.
"May the hands of time never dim your loveliness.
" - Mmm.
- Little corny.
I kind of like it.
- Boyfriend? - Secret admirer.
Well, that's some admiration.
- How's the sink, Wally? - Hmm? Oh, it's all fixed.
I've got to get dressed.
You really like that, huh, the "hands of time"? Have a nice day, Wally.
I'll call you if there's any problems.
I really appreciate everything you did.
- Right.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
As much as I can get on that hairbag.
- Where do you pick up all these expressions? - Television, I guess.
- I thought you only watched PBS.
- His name is Anthony Delgetti.
Served in the armed forces.
Never made it past corporal.
I don't see any mention of that Silver Star he was so proud of.
He spent most of his time in the stockade.
He was even accused of fragging his own lieutenant.
Blew the poor guy to smithereens.
Only get this.
Another dogface who saw everything suddenly couldn't remember who threw the grenade.
Since then, he's been in and out of prison mostly for aggravated assault in the commission of a felony.
Delgetti seems to be following an established pattern.
The chief witness against him mysteriously reneges and the little corporal slithers out from underneath the murder charge.
- Think he's trying to frighten us from testifying? - He goes to trial next week.
We're firsthand witnesses to a kidnapping, extortion, assault with a deadly weapon.
He might spend the next 20 years making license plates.
However, if he can frighten the professionals like Miss Holt and myself- Need some water, Mildred? - Professionals? - Yes.
If Dancer can stop Miss Holt and myself from- Something stuck in your throat? Aw, come on, chief.
Don't you consider me a professional? Of course I do, Mildred.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
It's an oversight.
Here you go, darling.
There you go, hey? So you think Dancer wants to keep us professionals from testifying.
If he succeeds, the other witnesses might fall in line.
- And he walks away clean? - Considering the alternative, it's worth the risk.
How do we stop that slimeball? Alistair Cooke says that a lot.
Does he? Call the other witnesses.
Try not to alarm them unduly.
Just tell them that Dancer might be in their neighborhood.
In the meantime, I'm gonna see if the great Remington Steele can pull any strings - and jerk him back behind the bars.
- Okay.
Hello, pretty face.
I'd love to splatter that pretty face all over this room.
What do you want? Anything you've got to offer.
You know, you look all frazzled.
What you need is a vacation a long vacation away from everything.
I can't take one right now.
I have to testify at your trial.
- Do you? - Absolutely.
You ever hear that expression, "back from the grave"? Well, that's the only way you're gonna testify, pretty face.
I contacted all the potential witnesses, chief except for Dr.
Wilson Scabbard.
Ah, yes.
"Podiatrist to the Stars.
" - He's on his way to his office in Encino.
- Okay.
Keep trying.
That hairbag.
That slimeball! - You watch PBS too? - He had the nerve, the audacity the unmitigated gall to show up on my doorstep and threaten me.
That's it.
I'm calling the police.
I already did that.
Dancer's story is that he heard there was a loft available in my building.
He was looking for the manager.
Had no idea I lived there.
The police warned him to stay away from me and the other witnesses.
- That's it? - The foundation of American jurisprudence is that a man is innocent until proven guilty.
Dirty Harry is getting to look better and better.
- I'll give the doc another buzz.
- Uh-huh.
Ah, quite a morning, hey? Hmm.
And it isn't even half over yet.
- Oh.
New watch? - Yes.
And very expensive.
Well, you're entitled to splurging yourself every once in a while, eh? After all, you're worth it.
And what makes you think I bought this for myself? - Well, nothing.
I just assumed- - As I remember you told me you were on your way to buy me a Christmas present when Dancer and his group showed up.
- Was I? - What, perchance, was that present? - Hmm? - Oh, well, it's, uh- It's a dim memory now but as I recall, it was a, um- It- It was a watch of sorts.
A watch? Yeah, yeah.
Uh, Saks had a rather nice collection.
Any style in particular? Uh, gold band with, uh, tiny little diamonds on the face.
- Like this one? - Uh, similar.
- It arrived this morning.
- Oh? - With a note.
- Oh, really? "May the hands of time never dim your loveliness.
" Little corny, isn't it? It was signed "Your secret admirer.
" Haven't we been through this once before? - It started with flowers.
- Oh, yeah? - A different bouquet every day for a week.
- Ah.
- And candy.
- Huh.
The kind that costs $25 a pound.
Oh, dear me.
Lucky you've got a sweet tooth, hey? - A few of his notes even mentioned you.
- Who, me? And not in a very flattering light, I might add.
Something to the effect that I'd be much better off without you.
And my secret admirer hinted that I had to make a choice: you or him.
Oh, dear me.
Where do they come from, Laura? Where does who come from? Those poor, demented souls running around loose out there.
First of all Dancer, now your closet Casanova.
Any idea who it might be, Mr.
Steele? Someone who cares very deeply for you, perhaps even loves you but can't bring himself to express those feelings directly.
I wish he'd stop beating around the bush.
He might.
When? When the time is right, no doubt.
He'd better watch out.
I might just get tired of waiting.
- His loss, my gain.
- Don't be so sure.
I might just get tired of waiting for everyone.
Oh, Laura.
- About the watch- - Yes? What time is it? He should be drawn and quartered tarred and feathered, diced and sliced.
You said it.
Hanging's too good for Dancer.
- Not Dancer.
Him! - The boss? - See this watch? - It's a little too close to get a good look, honey.
He tried this little charade once before.
He sent me flowers- buckets and baskets and bushels of them- every day for weeks on end with smutty little love poems.
- Signed, "Your secret admirer"- - I was there, remember? so that he could become jealous of his competition and fight for me so he could realize how much I meant to him.
I was there, remember? I would be so flattered I'd fall right into his arms, not to mention his bed.
- Perfect way for that-That- - Dirtbag? To have his cake and eat it too.
Oh, sounds delicious.
If I remember correctly the last time he tried this gambit, he charged everything to the agency.
Well, this time, we'll beat him at his own game.
Mildred, I want you to cut off his credit.
Everywhere- the agency florist, department stores.
Report his credit cards stolen.
Don't you think that's a little severe? I'll teach him, graphically and irrevocably, that I don't like game playing that he doesn't need to go through all these elaborate ruses.
All I need is a little honesty a little verbal commitment a gentle touch a soft caress.
Stop it, lady.
You're turning me on.
Remind me to have a bell put on that door, Mildred.
How nice of you to wander by, Lieutenant Benjamin considering it's been two hours since Dancer came calling.
Yeah, well, you weren't the only one on his itinerary.
Scabbard was crushed under an X- ray machine about an hour ago.
He's in intensive care right now.
He's critical, but he's stable.
What about Dancer? Delgetti was staying with his sister.
She says he took off in the middle of the night.
Hasn't heard from him since.
- Any leads where he might be? - No, not yet, but we'll find the little weasel.
- Hopefully before he gets us.
- That's why I'm here.
The others consented to police protection.
So these two out here- They belong to you.
We appreciate your offer, Lieutenant, but no sale.
Delgetti is a certified psycho.
You know what he's trying to do? He's trying to scare you all into instant amnesia.
Since the others heard what happened to Scabbard they're not too gung ho about testifying.
Lieutenant, how is it going to look to potential clients if one man, no matter how psychotic he may be is able to frighten us into hiding behind the police? You've got to be alive to have clients, Miss Holt.
Why don't you just forget the P.
and be sensible? Tell her, Steele.
My subordinate is merely echoing a tenet of mine that I set down when I founded this agency.
Miss Krebs? Let the creep come.
I could lock you all up as material witnesses.
We'd be out before you finished the paperwork.
Have it your way.
Come on, boys.
Let's go.
"The Wild Bunch" doesn't need us.
I'll visit each of the other witnesses let them know we're not going to be intimidated by Dancer.
Perhaps we should regroup at your place.
I have this sudden, uncontrollable urge for, uh, togetherness.
- I'm for that.
- I should be home around 6:00.
Well, here, take this.
Just in case you bump into any stray X-ray machines.
Feisty piece of baggage, our Miss Holt.
- Little too feisty for my blood.
- She has a point to prove.
- What's that? - That a woman with intelligence determination and a certain amount of training can be as stupidly macho as any man.
Comes down to that, huh? You mean we're playing clay pigeons so she can win the battle of the sexes? Oh, the only battle worth fighting for, Mildred.
Oh, well- I have to tell you, chief.
You've lost this round.
- She's onto you.
- Oh? In what context? Well, this secret admirer stuff? She knows it's you.
Does she now? - Just like before.
- Oh, Mildred, you know me well enough by now to realize I never repeat myself.
Makes one too predictable.
Are you telling me you aren't sending her all those gifts? Not a one.
Ah, but don't tell her that.
I'm lost.
There's a nuance here that escapes me.
She's the one sending the gifts.
- To herself? - Exactly.
! - Why? - Oh, Mildred, it's so obvious.
Listen, in my day, when a guy gave you something he made damn sure you knew about it so's he could collect, if you know what I mean.
She wants me to believe that there really is someone else to force me into declaring my eternal, undying devotion to her.
So, I'm not ruffled by this secret admirer.
I'm simply going to wait her out driving her sufficiently bananas until she 'fesses up.
You two do love to play all these little games, don't you? Adds spice to a relationship, Mildred.
- Where are you going? - To buy a new gun for the agency.
Oh, make it two.
And while you're at it- - Throw in a bazooka.
- Eh.
Dinner's almost ready.
- Hello? - Ho, ho, ho.
Now listen, you slimy- Oh.
! Mildred? Everything all right? Fine, Ralph.
Everything is fine.
Night then.
Ralph, would you wait for me a minute? - Uh, I'll ride down with you.
- Sure.
I can meet Mr.
Steele in the lobby.
Oh, damn it.
Forget it.
- Hello? - Wally? - Miss Holt? - I hope, uh, I'm not disturbing you.
No, no.
As a matter of fact, I just got in.
- Are you busy? - Is the sink backed up again? No, uh- I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come up for a drink.
- Now? - If-If you're not doing anything.
Heck, no.
I just got in.
Well, I'll be here.
I'll see you in a bit then.
Is Lieutenant Benjamin there, please? Do you know where he went? Well, did it have anything to do with the Delgetti case? I've been trying to reach my associate Remington Steele.
There's no answer at his apartment or the office.
I was wondering if maybe Lieutenant Benjamin might have spoken to him.
My name is Laura Holt, and I'm very anxious to hear from him.
My number is 555-6235.
Thank you.
Where are you? - Who is it? - It's Wally.
Wally Donovan.
What is this? Somebody left it at your door this afternoon.
I didn't want anybody to steal it, so I took it to my place.
It's kinda spooky in here.
I- I didn't realize how late it was.
What can I get you to drink, Wally? Uh, club soda, if you have it.
I don't drink, smoke or do drugs.
You won't think less of me if I have a drink, will you? It's been a rough day.
Oh, no.
Nothing wrong with a drink now and then.
I'll drink to that.
See, I used to be very heavy into drugs every controlled substance known to man and a few that haven't been invented yet.
See, it was a crutch.
Whenever things started moving in I'd just take a trip to happy-land.
Missed a whole decade that way.
- When it got the better of me, I had to quit.
- You're right, Wally.
- When it got the better of me, I had to quit.
- You're right, Wally.
Mustn't let things get the better of us.
Hello? Is there something wrong? Just a- creep.
Nothing for you to worry about.
You know, I never dreamed we'd be here like this sharing a drink.
You expecting company? What? Oh, uh- just some people from the office.
- Your boss? - I don't know what's keeping him.
Is that why you asked me up here to kill time before he came? No.
Not at all.
I was just, uh- I just wanted to thank you for all the nice things you've done for me since you became manager.
I really appreciate it, Wally.
There isn't anybody in this building I'd rather do things for than you, Miss Holt.
I don't intend this as a put-down or anything but how did you wind up managing a building? Oh, well, this is just temporary.
I needed a place to mellow out you know, after my last situation.
Those were the worst eight months of my life, Miss Holt.
Locked up in a room all day by myself.
No windows.
I- I was- I was an analyst.
I had to separate material determine its essential features and their relations.
You know, sometimes- Sometimes I think the more you use your mind, the more confused you get.
I'm beginning to agree with you.
The mind can play terrible tricks if you let it.
Aren't you gonna open your present? I don't know about you, but it's driving me crazy.
You know, when I was a kid I couldn't wait to see what I got for Christmas or- or my birthday.
I'd always sneak into my mother's closet and open the presents right away but be real careful so she didn't know I did it.
You know, I'd- I'd slip the Scotch tape off and then refold the paper back just the way it was.
Then I'd act surprised when I'd open it up in front of her.
- She never did catch on.
- Here goes.
Oh! Well, that's cute.
Who's it from? - One guess.
- Your secret admirer? Give the man a silver dollar.
- He sure knows what you like.
- Oh.
You know, whoever it is obviously took the time to learn a great deal about you.
Well, cards and gifts are one thing.
But I wish the guy would get off the dime and say something to me.
Maybe he can't.
Maybe he's afraid you'll laugh at him.
Believe me, Wally.
That's the last thing I'd do.
What kind of guy do you think he is? Warm.
Very loving.
Although I know he'd deny it.
I hope it doesn't frighten you that he can't come right out and tell you how much he loves you.
How sweet of you to be so concerned about me.
You deserve it, Laura.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you if you asked me.
I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life with you.
Now, listen, you- Taking care of you.
- What? - Loving you.
I'll be right there.
I've got to go, Wally.
Thanks for keeping me company.
I- I really appreciate it.
- Where are you going? - Mr.
Steele's been hurt.
- No- No.
You can't go now.
- Lock the door when you leave.
We were just getting to know one another.
Laura Holt.
- What happened? - Somebody rigged the elevator.
What do you mean somebody? You know damn well who did it.
- He's lucky to be alive.
- My leg, uh, broke the fall.
It's the same leg he broke when that guy who was killing all those bachelors ran him down.
I know how Jimmy Stewart felt in Rear Window.
This thing's beginning to itch already.
- What about Dancer? - He probably thinks he finished Steele off.
- He won't be back.
- That's not what I mean.
What are you doing to find him? We're looking, Miss Holt.
We're looking.
- Okay, chief, let me tuck you in.
- I don't wanna be tucked in.
- I just want to get my hands on that- that- - Greaseball? In light of Mr.
Steele's condition I would be willing to accept police protection for him.
I don't wanna say it, but this could've been avoided if you hadn't been so stubborn.
Thanks for not saying it, Lieutenant.
Will you please stop fussing? Please.
- Mildred, we could use a cup of coffee.
- Comin' up.
I hate being like this.
Makes one feel so bloody useless.
It's my fault.
If I'd taken Benjamin's offer this probably wouldn't have happened.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- I was stupid.
I apologize.
- Not you.
Bloody phone was ringing.
I thought it was you calling to see what was keeping me.
I was so busy trying to decide whether to answer the phone or get to the loft, I wasn't watching.
If it's any consolation your teddy bear was a big hit.
- What teddy bear? - Haven't we exhausted this secret admirer thing? - Yes.
Yes, I think we have.
- Then you'll admit it.
I'll admit I know who's sending you those gifts.
Care to share that startling revelation? A beautiful young woman who's picked up some of my talents - for style and originality, but hasn't fully mastered them.
- Me? You think I've been sending those gifts to myself? - What better way to arouse my jealousy? - You want to be aroused? Listen to this.
"Forget that callous, egotistical show-off Remington Steele and choose a real man.
" "Callous, egotistical show-off.
" Is that what you think about me? - I didn't write that! - I didn't write it.
- Why would I write that about myself? - So I'd leap to your defense.
Laura, do you honestly think I'm the sort of man who would give a woman a teddy bear? - When you put it that way- - Good Lord.
There really is a secret admirer roaming around out there.
Yes, but who? I think I'll help Mildred with that coffee.
- I've got to go back to the loft.
- Why? Don't tell Mr.
Steele, but I left the agency gun on the kitchen counter.
Keep an eye on him.
Nothing gets past Krebs.
I hope.
Mildred, where's Miss Holt? She had to go out for a while.
Where? She'll be back, chief.
Cool it.
Oh! Oh! Oh, Mildred.
You planning on doing a little carving? - The cop outside? - Yeah.
- He isn't.
- Perhaps he had to relieve himself.
We have facilities in here.
- Who is it? - Officer Hanley.
- Oh! - The door, Mildred.
The door.
I hope you don't mind my barging in like this but I just came to wish everybody a belated merry Christmas.
A little early for Thanksgiving, ain't it, Brunhilde? Or was you thinkin' about sticking a different kinda bird? Park it.
You too.
What happened, pretty boy? Did you trip over your mirror? Much the same thing that happened to Dr.
Scabbard, wouldn't you say? Terrible accident.
I'm gonna tell you something.
I almost got hurt myself.
Those X-ray machines are heavy.
What's the matter? Couldn't find an elevator in his building? What's that supposed to mean? - Why so coy, Dancer? - The name is Anthony.
Oh, sorry.
I thought you'd be proud of your handiwork.
Are you disappointed that I'm still relatively in one piece? - What are you talking about? - Are you trying to tell us that you didn't rig the elevator in this building? If I had of, they'd still be scraping him up.
If he didn't, then who did? - Here's the drill.
- The kind of person that would hide behind anonymous gifts? Miss Holt's secret admirer? I'm the guy with the gun.
Will somebody pay attention to me? If he considers me a rival, he might be unbalanced enough to erase me - from the picture permanently.
- We have to warn Miss Holt.
You're gonna use the phone, Brunhilde, but not for that.
Oh, please, she may be in great danger.
Really? That's terrific.
Another one put out of commission, and I don't have to raise a finger.
This thing is going good.
Now you, you're gonna call those other slugs and you're gonna convince them not to testify.
What happens after I make these calls? Then the three of us are gonna take a nice drive out in the country someplace.
- How many will come back? - I got a very small car.
Wally? It's Laura Holt.
Wally? Are you in here? I should be very angry with you.
Wally why did you take these pictures of me? So I could have you with me.
Every night, before I went to sleep, I could touch you.
But I won't need them anymore now that I have you.
Wally, I'm very flattered, but I don't- You were right, you know about the kind of person I am.
Warm gentle and very loving.
Oh, I'm glad you like the watch.
I spent weeks and weeks looking for just the right one.
Wally, I came by to thank you for cleaning up my loft.
It was very thoughtful.
I told you, Laura.
I like doing things for you.
And this is only the beginning.
Did you happen to find a gun on the kitchen counter? You ran out so fast, you forgot it.
It was very careless of me.
Don't worry.
It's in a safe place.
I really need that gun, Wally.
How's your boss? He broke his leg.
Is that all? Wally, you're hurting me.
Well, as my mother used to say- "If at first you don't succeed"- Well, yes, well, it's a- It's the better part of valor, mate.
No sense risking your life to keep one more slug off the streets.
Uh, me? Um- I'm taking an extended holiday.
Uh- very extended.
Okay, Jack.
Take care of yourself, mate.
- Did he go for it? - He has a heart condition.
He says it's gonna force him into the hospital at the same time he's scheduled to testify.
The broad's next.
Allison Greene.
You know, Anthony, I had a chance to, uh peruse your service records, and, um I couldn't find any reference to that Silver Star you won.
What Silver Star? He spent most of his time in the stockade.
Probably too chicken to fight.
Now let's not be harsh.
I'm sure there were mitigating circumstances in Anthony's case.
- What's that mean? - Shh, shh, shh.
No answer from the young lady's, uh, loft.
Keep trying, chief.
It's important.
I don't care what the records say.
I earned that Silver Star, and they was gonna give it to me too.
Until that big mouth lieutenant said I disobeyed orders, you know, went off on my own - got the platoon ripped up.
- So you rolled a grenade under his bunk.
That's the fortunes of war, Brunhilde.
Guys were picking bits and pieces of him out of their bedding for weeks.
They could have shipped him home in a matchbox.
Mildred, why don't you get Anthony a drink? A man tends to get very thirsty telling all these war stories.
I never drink when I'm driving.
And we got a long road ahead of us.
- I'll make some coffee then.
- After last time? You threw the pot in my face, Brunhilde.
- So I'll make instant.
- Shut up and sit down.
Mildred, please.
You almost knocked the vase over.
You know, maybe you been dialing the wrong number.
Why don't you try? Yeah.
Give it to me.
Ow! I got a new hero, Dancer- Dirty Harry.
And we know what his favorite expression is.
Oh, where are you? Where are you? Come on.
Line's busy.
That's a good sign.
Means he's home.
Are you sure that's all that happened- a broken leg? Tsk.
I'm afraid so.
You sound almost disappointed.
To tell you the truth, Wally, I never liked the man.
I know I can confide in you.
I was glad he had the accident.
I was afraid you might be mad at me for what I did.
You mean the elevator in Mr.
Steele's building.
I thought for sure we'd seen the last of him.
Better not use the gun, Wally.
After all, it's mine.
Yeah, you're right.
Why don't you give it to me for safekeep- No, no.
That's okay.
I kinda like the feel of it.
I've never had a gun before.
You know, I think what you do is fascinating, Laura.
And I wouldn't be one of those husbands who don't let their wives work, no, sir.
- I'd want to help you with it.
- Oh, what a generous offer.
And I wouldn't hog the spotlight like that show-off boss of yours does.
I know how hard you work.
I watch you every night in your loft poring over those papers into the wee small hours.
That would be another reason why we'd be good together.
I can't sleep at night either.
What's that? Probably just fire engines.
You're a-You're a very good photographer.
Those are excellent pictures.
Did you study photography? That's what they let me do when I wasn't answering all those questions.
You know, the only thing that kept me sane those eight months was you.
Me? But we didn't know each other then.
I knew you.
I saw your picture in a newspaper standing behind that peacock.
That was the first time I fell in love with you.
You had the most beautiful face I had ever seen in my life.
- It reminded me of my mother.
- What a sweet compliment.
- Will I get to meet your mother? - Oh, no.
No, you can't.
See, someone cut her up into little pieces and gift-wrapped her and sent her to my Uncle Arnold.
He liked presents, too, but I guess he didn't like this one because he sent it to the police.
Anyway, when they released me I found out where you lived, and I applied for the manager's position so I could be close to you.
- That was good thinking, huh? - Mm-hmm.
It's the police.
You lied to me! You lied to me! You don't love me! You're just like my mother! - Open up.
! Police.
! - Great timing, guys.
Wally's files.
He was in a mental institution for those eight months.
- After he hacked up his mother.
- Oh.
We certainly have had our share of sickos this trip.
The scary part is that they came right to our doorstep.
Yes, nothing like bringing one's work home, eh? Afraid you're gonna have to stay in bed at least one more day.
And I'm gonna be here to see to it that you don't cheat.
You know, Laura we've been so busy lately exploring and defining our personal relationship that we've taken the professional side for granted.
It's not until something like this comes along to force one to reevaluate.
What exactly are we reevaluating? Do you intend to pursue this line of work for the rest of your life? I haven't really given it much thought.
I mean, supposing you had children.
Just supposing that, I mean.
Would you intend to continue working? Or would you feed the little tykes breakfast in the morning and then rush off to a nice, juicy murder? Would you call them up at school and apologize because you couldn't pick them up because you were being held hostage? Are you saying a woman's place is in the home? Actually, I was thinking of a more specific area.