Resident Alien (2021) s02e05 Episode Script

Family Day

1 Previously on "Resident Alien" How could I not remember? When people experience a loss of time, it's often because they've been abducted by aliens.
I'm an alien.
We are very good at changing people's memories.
FBI.
The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle.
Guess what you're not getting your ball back.
I've hidden it where you'll never find it.
Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest for the murder of Sam Hodges.
I have built a radio.
The signal will tell my people not to come and kill everyone for 50 years.
- We need to stop it! - No! It's receiving a signal.
It's a phone number from New York City.
Sunny went into labor all of a sudden.
- I can fix it.
- Let the doctor do his job.
I've held a lot of babies since Jay was born.
I understand now why you feel guilty.
Go after him.
Flush him out.
I'll meet you on the other side.
I got it.
Police, drop the weapon! Shit.
Dispatch, this is unit 92.
I got shots fired.
Need backup at my location.
- Jesse! Jesse! - Copy that.
Backup en route.
Jesse? Jesse? I got an officer down.
Mike.
Come on, man, I know you're in there.
Bill, I can't do that, man.
Mike, you're the only one he would have trusted with him.
You take care of yourself, okay? Thanks.
Thanks, man.
I miss him, too, Cletus.
Welcome to your new home.
1,900 miles That's how close I am to New York City, to one of my people.
1,900 miles from standing in front of a being who knows what I know who has stood in the ice wind desert as a child.
I am different now.
Asta knows this version of me, but I am 1,900 miles from being with someone who knows the alien part of me The real me.
So why can I not dial this number? - Hey.
- Oh.
Hey.
It was nice to talk to you last night.
Kind of felt like old times again.
- What? - Oh.
W-what what are you upset about? Nothing happened.
All we did was talk about Jay.
- Yeah, I know.
- Asta.
- I shouldn't have come here.
- I did - Please, you don't have to go.
- Yes, I do.
Nice seeing you at Laurant's last night.
Mm, mm.
I saw you left pretty quickly.
You know, if there's ever anything you want to talk about, like, no big deal, but you can talk to me.
Thank you, Deputy.
Now that you mention it, I'd like to know what you've been scribbling down in your little notebook there.
You doing another solo investigation? Do you remember my dress you picked up from the cleaners? The one I don't remember dropping off? And what dress you talking about? You talking about that green dress, or you talking about that dress you talk about every day like it's some kind of government conspiracy? You have to admit it's weird.
Basically the whole day is a blank.
- Do you remember it? - I mean, no.
But I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
You know, ask me what color socks I'm wearing.
What color socks are you wearing? Well, actually, I'm wearing black socks 'cause that's all I own is black socks.
But if I did own socks that was a different color, I wouldn't remember what color I was wearing.
You know why? It don't matter.
Sir, you might want to look at this.
What the hell she doing? That's Miss Taylor bike.
Oh, shit.
Hell, no.
Hell, no! Hey, get off that bike! Get off that damn bike! - That ain't your bike.
- Come on, Sheriff! Hey, I can outrun that bike! Ellen? Hey, Ellen, can you cover for me? I got to take care of something.
- Sure.
- Okay.
Thanks.
I won't be long.
Close call.
Almost as close as you were to getting your eye poked out by a tree.
In my defense, I had just had dinner with my parents.
Also, that tree was waving pretty wildly.
Listen, as a medical professional, I suggest you drink a little less.
But as a single bitch living in this dead-ass town, I suggest you invite me out next time.
Wow.
All right.
- Yeah, there's more of that.
- Okay.
What do you mean you got a phone number from an alien? Why didn't you tell me sooner? What did they say? Well, I did not call.
It might be a trap.
It's not a trap.
If you worried more about traps, then you would still be in the ocean instead of in a box of water in the mountains.
Does this thing have to keep popping into my head? You think I like it in there? It's darker than the woods in a Tim Burton movie.
You shut the hell up about what's in my head and stop putting the TV on in front of this thing.
He's not calling because he's afraid his people will reject him.
He's worried he's too human.
That is a lie! - Liars do not get food.
- I'm kidding.
Can't you take a joke? It's obviously a trap.
Good octopus.
Okay.
We don't have any other leads.
And if we don't do anything, everyone is going to die.
So, if you don't call that phone number, I will.
Fine.
Okay.
Mm.
Hello.
Can I talk to the alien, please? Mm.
He hung up.
He knows my mother.
And they had intercourse.
Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street.
Pack your bags.
We're going to New York.
I cannot go to New York.
The octopus is right.
I have changed.
I am too human.
What if the alien will not help me? I heard that.
He just admitted it.
Get out of my head.
Well, answer it.
It might be them.
Hello? Morning, Doc.
It's the Sheriff.
Hi, Dad.
This is weird She looks like me, if I fell face-first into a pile of metal.
At first, I thought she was just some hippie drifter from Boulder, but, uh, then she showed me this right here.
I remember this.
This was the day she sat on my knee, and we looked at the camera, and that person took our photograph.
Yes, the daughter you've been telling me so much about, from your first wife before Isabelle, and her name is right on the tip of my tongue.
Um, I think she said Liza.
Liza is her name.
- Liza is her name.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm very fertile.
This is my sweet little girl.
Well, we caught your sweet little girl trying to steal a bike.
It turns out she's got a record for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico.
Her mama sent her to a camp for troubled teens, but she ran away 'cause she's troubled.
She also pulled my hair.
It didn't hurt, though.
I have strong roots.
Are you even aware of what's going on - with your daughter, Doc? - Yes.
Thank you for arresting her and throwing her in jail.
Well, hold on I don't think there's any need for that, at least not yet.
I'm all right with releasing her into your custody.
No, you throw her in jail.
He's joking.
He'll take her home.
Is this how humans feel when they have a child Angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing? If she were a pet bird, I would leave the cage door open and the ceiling fan on.
So, Liza, boot camp, huh? Why were you sent there? - Murder.
- Cool.
Maybe we should call your mom, have her come pick you up.
Good luck My mom is in Italy right now, getting fingered on a Vespa.
Good talk.
It's a bad it's a bad talk.
That was bad.
Why are you acting so weird? Wait, are you high? Yes.
Yes, he is.
Ugh.
It's legal in Colorado.
Do not bum my stone, man.
Go home to your mother.
Asta will take you to the airport.
That was quick.
You usually at least pretend for a few days before you tell me to leave.
I'll make it real easy for you.
Have a nice life.
Okay, I will.
Where is the bacon lady? - You can't just let her leave.
- Mm? She wants to go.
She wants her father.
We have to help her.
An hour ago, you wanted to go to New York to save the rest of the humans.
You are flip-floppy.
She happens to be one of those humans.
You killed her father, so we are staying here until we get her safely home.
She does not need our help.
She's already making friends.
Shit.
I think we can make that happen, yeah.
- You ever been on one before? - Oh, yes.
Let's do this thing.
- Hey, nice bike.
- Thanks.
I had the same one in high school.
She's 16, so get the hell out of here.
Faster.
You're not my mother.
I know.
She's doing the Vespa thing.
Look, I want to help you.
Because you're my dad's newest sex toy? Oh, my God, knock it off.
We just work together.
Yeah, you're a little too old for him.
Look, my mom left me when I was a baby, so I know a few things about being abandoned.
So now I'm your therapist? You know what? Eat shit.
Yeah.
Laugh it off.
And have a little pity party while you're at it.
I'm not going to let you get on a motorcycle and get beat up by some asshole biker, okay? Did you really used to have that motorcycle? No, my asshole biker boyfriend did.
I don't think my mom even wanted to go to Italy.
I think she just needed an excuse to ship me off.
I figured I hadn't seen my dad in a while.
I was just borrowing that bike to get to the cabin.
I'm not a thief.
Not really.
I mean, I do steal a lot of shit.
Something's different.
At least he used to go through the motions of being a father.
Yeah, well he's not the same man you used to know.
Maybe just give him a chance.
I really miss you, Aunt Cathy.
You were the only one I ever told about the UFO I saw when I was a kid except John.
He thinks I'm crazy but loves me anyway.
God, I really hope you can hear me.
Aunt Cathy, if you're listening, please give me a sign.
- Liv! - Oh! - Hey, Liv.
- Hey.
Just bringing Max by.
His first father-son trip to the cemetery.
- What is that tall thing? - Ah.
That is a monument honoring the 59.
The star on top represents the man that they went back to save.
It's more than a monument.
They're all actually buried under there.
It's a mass grave kind of thing.
Awesome.
Really? Huh.
Well, uh, you'll be happy to hear this year at Patience Family Day, the theme is "Remember When.
" So we'll be honoring the 59 Max, stop digging.
I'm trying to rebrand the whole narrative, you know, just remind people that these aren't just 59 dead men.
You know, these are these are heroes.
Mm, that sounds great.
Yeah.
We're going to have mining-themed games.
Kids are putting on a play - written by yours truly.
- Ah.
Hey, maybe even get real authentic Swap out the toilet paper in the porta-potties - for corn husks.
- Yeah, maybe not that one.
Ah, I already started shucking.
- Well, uh, good to see you.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Come on, Max.
Hey, Max, I've been meaning to ask you something.
You know that sketch you had me do The the one of the alien? Oh, um yeah, I made all that stuff up.
Aliens aren't real.
Well, it looks like she's been here before.
Nice talking with you.
This is a bad idea.
I do not like children.
Yes, you do.
I saw the way you looked at Sunny's baby.
That is different.
A baby is tiny.
And it doesn't speak.
Well, every baby grows into a Liza.
Then why do you feed them? 'Cause if you don't, they will die.
No, mm-mm.
Don't even think about it.
Anything happens to her or if she leaves, we will have much bigger problems.
Okay, keep her alive and happy until her mom comes home in a few days and we go to New York and save humanity.
Also, try to act as normal as possible and keep the door to your alien bunker locked and the talking octopus in your room.
I have got this.
I can be a good father.
I've seen a lot of television.
Ugh, what happened to the Wi-Fi? And it smells like dead people up here.
Then you should take a shower my darling daughter.
Hey, hey, hey! Buddy, you took my spot.
Glad to see you got a new truck.
It was the, uh, problem with the emergency brake - on the last one, right? - Oh, you're real funny.
You could have killed someone.
Now you're pretending to care about other people.
Hey, maybe show me how much you care with your fist.
That's you do things, right? Looks like you already lost one fight today.
But keep playing with me, and we'll make it two.
It would be the honor of my life to lay your ass out.
In fact, I'll do it twice Once for me, once for Asta.
Well, if she's so upset, why did she stay at my house last night? Mm.
Bullshit.
Yeah, good to see you.
Hey, hey.
Got some good news.
Oh, yeah, the Nats won four in a row.
I'm not talking about the Nationals.
My biopsy came back negative.
Biopsy? What biopsy? You're the one who kept nagging me to get my mole checked.
You drove me to the clinic.
What? When? Two weeks ago.
Well, obviously you didn't tell me it was for a biopsy, or I would have remembered.
Of course I told you.
You ain't been the same since D.
C.
You got to deal with that.
See a doctor, psychiatrist, - hell, anybody.
- Mm-hmm.
Tell me, why exactly should I take mental-health advice from somebody who stayed holed up in the house, refusing to speak to anybody for six months when Mama died, huh? Yeah, well, I'm not the one carrying a deadly weapon.
Okay, all right, you know what? Is this is this what we have now? Is this us? We just gonna fight all the time? I got friends.
They got dads.
They go to games.
They go fishing and shit.
We ain't done nothing like that since I was a kid.
Instead, all I got is you sitting across from me telling me all the things you think are wrong with me.
You're a young man.
It's not normal to forget stuff like that.
What are we eating? This is missing something.
What is it? Oh, right, flavor.
Have you ever heard of salt or a-a vegetable maybe? I did have some vegetables, but they grew organisms on them.
You know I can't eat gluten.
Did you forget that, or are you purposely trying to kill me? Would gluten kill you? - I'll just starve.
- Mm.
You need to call my boot camp and tell them that I'm with you and I'm too sick to go back.
That would be lying.
Lying is bad, young lady.
I will now discipline you by sending you to bed without supper.
I already told you I'm not going to eat your shitty gut-bomb pasta.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
More more gluten for me.
Enjoy.
I am.
I know you feel like you're different.
You are different.
You can see what's going on.
Aliens are real.
Hey, uh, Deputy, where are you? That car was supposed to be back an hour ago.
Uh, just at the market picking up supplies - for the break room.
- Hey, uh, Dep.
You know what? While you're there, go ahead and pick me up a lotto ticket.
Go ahead pick up one for Cletus, too.
Sure thing, Sheriff.
You want a lotto ticket? You spent the night at Jimmy's? - It's not what you think.
- What is wrong with you? How do you even get within ten feet of that creep - without ripping his face off? - Shh.
We had to deliver my cousin Sunny's baby, okay? It messed with my head.
Okay, great.
So call your friends.
- You don't understand.
- No, I really don't.
Well, Jimmy does, so it's not a terrible surprise that I want to talk to him about it and not you.
I guess I'm just somebody who doesn't like watching their best friend ruin their life.
Oh, really? And that's just something for me to do? What is that supposed to mean? You think I don't know that you come in here for hangover IVs? Sorry, D'arcy.
You want to talk about watching friends ruin lives? - Let's talk about it.
- You know, it's weird.
You didn't seem worried about this until I started helping Jay.
Oh, is that what you're doing? You're "helping" her? Yes.
She needs somebody to talk to.
Maybe she'll listen to my dating advice.
I'm not so sure you're the best person to be giving advice about men.
Wow.
- D'arce.
- Okay.
Where's Murphy? "If you ever want to see your dog again, return my alien ball Alien.
" It's not even your dog.
- We win again.
- No, we don't.
Murphy's my responsibility.
Her owners pay me to walk her.
We have to get her back.
Humans are obsessed with pets.
If I give Liza this slobbering lump of fur, she will become so distracted taking care of the dog, I won't have to take care of her.
Liza, dear child, I have a gift for you.
Mm-hmm.
A dog? What am I supposed to do with that thing? You know mom's allergic.
This will be more difficult than I first thought.
Ew.
No, there's a You Got the balloon arch going.
This guy, old prospector Looking great, everyone.
- Hi, Kayla.
- Hey, Kate.
Uh, isn't the booth supposed to be - just back a couple feet? - Yeah, there was a rock there.
See, all the booths are supposed to be 30 feet apart.
Did you know that the human brain gets pleasure from symmetry? Did you know that the human ankle gets pain from breaking itself on a rock? Oh, no.
Why is there a murderer here? - Innocent until proven guilty.
- Innocent? She's holding a weapon.
- Honey, it's a paintbrush.
- That's a weapon.
"Hi.
What would you like me to paint on your face A nice little birdie?" "Take that kid.
" Keep an eye on her.
It's good to see you.
- This is stupid.
- It is not stupid.
This is Patience Family Day.
We are a family in Patience, and this is what families in Patience do on this day.
If she were home with me for one more second, I would kill her and feed her to my hungry octopus.
Can I at least drive? - Will you stop complaining? - Yes.
- Okay.
- Yes! Hurry.
Okay.
Okay.
Try not to kill us.
Calm down.
It's fine.
This is a nightmare.
How do human parents teach driving to their children without being terrified? The truck sounds like it wants you to shift now.
Oh, let's put on some tunes.
Wait, watch out! - Stop being a backseat driver.
- There is no back seat.
It is a truck.
It is a nice day, and that is a beautiful stop sign approaching.
- You see it? - Where? There.
Watch it, asshole! Stop! That's it! Get out of that truck! You are the worst driver I've ever seen! You're a jerk.
I was finally having some fun.
Damn it.
Come on, we got to hurry.
We'll be late for the play.
I don't want to give the ball back.
We have no choice.
Do you know what a kidnapping review will do to my whole dog-walking business? Wait.
Someone's been here.
The satellite dish is gone.
Oh, no.
The ball.
Who took it? There's only one possibility.
Asta.
Hey, Harry.
Thank you so much again for helping Sunny with her baby.
You were amazing.
They are easy when they are babies.
They cannot run away yet or almost kill you in a car accident.
Run away? Did Liza leave? - Oh! - Oh! - Uh, found her.
- Oh, yep, teenage daughter.
Oh, Harry, maybe you should No.
That's it.
You are as bad at throwing as you are at driving! Well, I must be a pretty good driver, then, because you're soaking wet.
You are the worst daughter that I have.
I am your only daughter, you idiot! If I had another daughter and she was bad, you would be worse! Please stop, you guys.
Uh, we only have a limited number of balloons.
And, Judy, uh, I-I appreciate you dressing on theme, but could you cover up the cleavage? There are children here.
There's a theme? Not okay! No! Hey! - Not not okay.
Hey! - Get him.
Summer fun, summer high jinks.
Listen, you got to take it down here.
- Hey! Okay, all right.
- Ha ha ha! Not okay! Oh! I know you didn't kill Sam.
Oh you have no idea how much that means to me.
Okay.
Bird or butterfly? Uh, I was thinking more of a Ziggy Stardust-type thing.
Oh, okay, I like it.
Let's see now.
Does the food you eat ever get caught in your lip metal? You're different than before, like, head-injury different.
- You've changed.
- Yes, I know.
You ghosted me for, like, three years.
I thought you hated me, Then why did you come here? To be honest, I was afraid to.
I mean I've changed, too, obviously.
I'm not the little girl you used to take fishing.
But you're my family.
I was hoping that'd be enough, 'cause if it wasn't enough, I would have had to go back to that hellhole camp.
Dial their phone number.
Hello, my name is Dr.
Harry Vanderspeigle, and my daughter Liza isn't going to come back to your stupid camp.
It is stupid.
You are stupid.
If you contact her again, I will find you and your family.
That should cover it.
Mm-hmm.
Hey win me a prize? I will win myself a prize and consider giving it to you.
Fair enough.
All right, time for the 52nd Annual Family Day Hot Chili Pepper Eating Contest.
You should eat more.
No.
Need to line the stomach.
Trust me, I've won this contest every year since I was 13, except the year that Ethiopian exchange student threw me for a loop.
- Biniyam! - You're so gonna win.
Have you seen everyone else at the table? They're all, like, adults.
I'm an adult.
- Shut up.
No, you're not.
- Okay.
Will all remaining entrants please make their way to the table? - Let's get started.
- Whoo! Let's go, D'arce! I've been practicing with, like, hot things Like, getting, like, big, hot things in my mouth.
I mean, this is the first time its pepper.
Okay, we are just about to start.
- What are you doing? - What? I love spicy food.
This isn't spicy food.
This is the stuff they put a tiny bit of in to make spicy food.
- Afraid I'm going to beat you? - I'm afraid you're gonna die.
You're going down this year, skank.
- Not as often as you.
- True, true.
First up is a very mild banana pepper.
Eat! I'm on fire! Nope, nope, nope, I'm out! I'm out! Ow.
No, no, no.
Oh, hey, Doc, um can I talk to you in private for a minute? Nice alien.
Thanks.
My dad stole it for me.
Oh, that That's a little bit illegal.
It's, like, super cheap, so Yeah, doesn't really It's more the principle.
- Okay.
- Here.
Look, uh, I'll make this quick.
All right, um, two weeks ago, I took my dad to get a biopsy, except I don't remember taking him.
I don't remember anything As a matter of fact, I don't remember anything about that day at all except talking to the FBI.
That's not normal, right? He is right.
It is not normal.
And it is also very bad for me.
All right, now get this It gets weirder, right? Now, I haven't told Deputy Liv anything about me forgetting that day 'cause I don't want her to freak out, but she's got gaps in her memory for that exact same day, too.
You think if I came by office, you could check me out? This is bad.
If he starts investigating this, he might remember that I'm a murderer and possibly a werewolf.
Yes.
I will do what I can to help with your memory.
I appreciate it.
You know, my dad he tells me it's emotional, right? That it's in my head.
I lost a friend a few years back, and truth is, I don't think I've had a good day since.
Does that make sense? Yes, that makes sense.
All I got left now is my dad, and who knows for how long, right? If I can't remember the time I'm spending with him, then - Sit down.
- Right here? - Mm.
- Okay.
Let me lead you through a meditation - that will help with your grief.
- Okay.
And put a memory in your head so you leave me alone.
All right.
We are getting up there now.
Next is the Trinidad Scorpion at 1.
2 million Scoville units.
This is gonna turn out bad.
Why are you doing this? Take your milk.
I feel great.
All right, D'arcy! You can do this, Asta! Whoo, Asta! Yes.
Mm-mm.
Oh, God, that's not the way you're supposed to eat that.
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- No, you're not.
- You're not gonna be fine.
- Oh, God.
All right.
I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.
And the winner and new champion is Ellen Cho! Bow to me! Bow! The play's about to start.
I saved you guys some seats.
- Oh, I'm excited.
- I don't do no plays.
I don't play.
I don't watch plays.
I don't want I ain't want to do no plays.
Oh, come on, come on, come on.
Come on, let's go.
- Did you write it? - I did.
Wow, a pickax for my tenth birthday? Thanks, Dad! We're all miners now.
Mining built the town of Patience, Colorado.
At one time, every able-bodied man who lived here worked the mine.
Then one cold January day in 1884, heroes were born.
Oh, no! It could be a cave-in! Run for your lives! Help! Help! There's one man still in the mine! We must go back for him! 59 brave men refused to leave one man behind.
They were heroes.
How much of the town budget did you spend on this play? - Eight percent.
- Eight perc What happened in the mine after it collapsed.
We're boulders, and we're here to kill miners.
All must die.
All my organs are hemorrhaging.
My leg, my leg.
59 men succumbed to their crush injuries that day.
And one man, who was trapped in an air pocket, died of loneliness and thirst three days later.
I'm so thirsty and so lonely.
To the 59 and to Air Pocket Pete.
I don't think his name was actually Pete, but, you know, it works, and it works well.
Where have all the daddies gone? Where did they all go? My uncle is my daddy now And soon there will be snow Where did Mommy's happy go? She drinks wine all day My uncle daddy gets real mad - I don't think he will stay - What are you thinking? Terrible mayor.
Stop.
Here, this'll help.
Thanks.
I need, like, six or seven more of these.
I shouldn't have said what I said about you and Jay.
I didn't mean it.
No, you meant it.
Okay, I meant it.
I was mad, and I was wrong.
No, you weren't.
You were right.
My parents took me out to dinner, and my response was to go get blackout drunk.
Your parents are assholes.
I mean, I love them, but come on.
I should be better at dealing with them by now.
I'm not 15.
I'm a mess.
No.
I'm a mess.
Look at me.
I don't want to be messy.
I don't want that either.
We can't both be messes at the same time.
Otherwise it's chaos.
Going to Jimmy's was so dumb.
I just He just went through it, you know? I mean, he was an asshole, but he was there when Jay was born, and he was there for me through all the freakouts after I gave her up.
I would never take from you I guess I'm so used to being sad with him, something about it feels normal.
I don't think that's supposed to feel normal.
You know, I wasn't around when all that stuff went down, but I'm here now.
And I always will be.
You know that, right? Right.
When I woke up on his couch I saw that picture of us from the senior year where I'm wearing that stupid football sweatshirt.
That thing is still in my trunk.
I think you should go get that sweatshirt.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Why? - Yeah.
- Why? - Yeah.
- Why? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? We'll only be gone a couple of days.
You're sure you're okay here alone? Ah, of course.
Who cares if everyone hated the play and me for writing it? Not everyone in the audience hated it.
And that woman who screamed at you is one of those complainer moms from school.
Where have all the daddies gone? Where did they all go? You're singing the song.
Yeah, it's the best song ever.
And the play was awesome.
The blood looked so cool.
See you in a couple days.
Where did Mommy's happy go? Wow.
Did you see that? Max loved it.
See? You got yourself all worked up over nothing.
By next year, everyone will have forgotten all about it, and you can do another play.
No way.
I mean, you heard Max.
The play worked.
No, we'll we'll do it even bigger next year.
You know, bigger boulders, maybe maybe even more blood.
Great.
- Okay.
Bye, honey.
- Okay, bye.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
Have fun at your mom's.
- Bye, Dad! - Bye, honey! Thanks.
Just take care of yourself.
At the end of the day, you can't depend on anyone else but you.
My mom would never say something like that.
But I think you're right.
Thanks.
I You're a better father than I remember.
I'm glad we got to spend time together.
I might even miss you a little.
I am glad.
I miss my family, too.
All right, folks.
I have also changed.
Ticket, please.
But the alien in New York is my family.
So maybe they will help me anyway.
I have to try.
I am ready to go to New York now.
I am not worried.
I know I am much more alien than human.
Sheriff, can I tell you something? All right, go ahead.
Lay it on me.
You know that day the FBI guy came, the day that neither of us can remember? I think an alien erased our memory.
There, I said it.
Well, I can't speak for you, Deputy, but, um, I remember exactly what I was doing that day.
It was a good day.
Actually, a very good day.
Okay.
Only an alien would have been able to put a memory in the sheriff's head.
And if that memory gave him a good day then that is just a coincidence.

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