Ride (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

Hippophobia and Ophidiophobia

1 ANNOUNCER: And that concludes today's event.
Disqualified? How do you simply miss your start time? I'm sorry, Lady Covington.
Is Covington proving to be too much for you? No.
Lady Covington, it won't happen again.
No, it won't.
(SIGH) LADY COVINGTON: The problem is not that we lost to Bingham Academy this weekend.
An honest loss is something to be celebrated.
It's something that we can all learn from.
However, this was less a loss than it was a humiliation.
Do any of you remember whose name is on the school gate? The crest? Your riding uniform? My name.
Covington.
And Covington has been humiliated.
As you all wear this name, you should all feel humiliated, too, with a few notable exceptions.
Ms.
Wiltshire, congratulations on your dressage first.
Well done.
Mr.
Andrada, I enjoyed your round immensely, as did the judges, apparently.
Good show.
Many of you need to recommit to your training.
Where's Anya? I don't know.
I didn't see her at all this morning.
Ms.
Bridges.
You are not exempt from listening to me, despite the fact that you failed to ride.
You ought to be working even harder than the others, given that rather embarrassing fact.
Absolutely.
I will.
In short, I expect the rest of the year to be quite simply better.
Dismissed.
Mr.
Bridges, please meet me in my office as soon as possible.
Right away, Lady Covington.
I feel that I'm bound to spend most of the rest of my life managing the Bridges.
I didn't come this direction For fear of some misconnection It was in me all along I was carried by the sun You wouldn't believe where my heart goes It's who I want to be So ride, ride with me KIT: Anya? Have you been in there all morning? The whole time I was getting ready? I'm actually not here.
Huh, weird.
Not sure who I'm going to share this delicious pastry thing-a-majigy with then.
They had pain au chocolat at breakfast? Yeah.
Apparently, pain au chocolat is available only to those who actually make it to the Assembly of Doom.
And in about two seconds, I'm going to devour this.
One, two - Now, if I can get you to leave this room, we might be able to find some delicious milkshakes.
Some cute new boots? Some cute new boys.
I can never show my face in the ring again.
Or in school.
I've never done anything quite so awful before.
You messed up.
So? It happens.
I wasn't prepared for my dressage test.
I didn't have any of my clothes ready, or my tack, or my mind.
None of it.
It was horrible.
My friend Charlotte and I used to play this game called "Best Worst.
" And it would always make us feel better because it was highly unlikely that either scenario came true.
What is the worst thing that happens if you leave this room? Nothing, because I'm never leaving it.
What is the best thing that could happen if you leave this room? Spaceships touch down, and wipe out everyone's memory so I can start all over again.
Great! Maybe the aliens can sweep up Lady C while they're here.
Come on! I bet Ducky would love to go for a run.
Okay, so you take him.
I, I can't.
You have to get onto a horse, or you'll lose TK.
Best worst.
Best, I hop on TK and we clear all of the jumps like superstars, on the first try; with my hands up in the air, like this.
Worst? My fear overpowers all of my other senses and I pass out in the dirt.
Face first.
And then the video goes viral.
(LAUGHS) Come on! Get dressed! I'm taking a sicky! (SIGH) You missed.
I'll get it later.
If you're going to act like a pig, William, you will soon become one.
Did you know that pigs are well smart? Anyway, I know exactly where everything is.
It's my system.
Either you pick it up, or you get better aim.
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Guitar solo.
(SINGING) That's how it's done, Andrada style.
Oh! It's not so hard! Two out of three.
Oh! Three out of five! No, thank you.
I've got some tack to clean.
You serious? I got all mine clean after the match yesterday.
Are you saying that you're faster than me? Hear what you want to hear, Andrada style.
(LAUGHS) Let the games begin.
Hey, kid, what are you doing? Oh, just teaching TK to throw down like Jay-Z.
Really? Well, I figure if I can get him spitting mad rhymes, Lady C will have to let me keep him.
If you want to keep him, you're going to have to ride him.
Otherwise, he'll be gone so fast it'll make your head spin.
Lady C is not in the mood to compromise.
You don't have to be so blunt.
Push yourself a little.
You need to get on that horse.
Yesterday.
KIT: My knees get wobbly.
My stomach starts to flop around like I'm on the world's nastiest roller coaster.
RUDY: It feels bigger than it is.
Just take a deep breath so your imagination doesn't get ahead of you.
Tell yourself you can do it.
Sounds like Kit could use a hand.
Uh.
I could even offer her a little boost into the saddle.
Done! You can't possibly be! Yeah, well the less you talk, the more work gets done.
I'm going to check your work.
Go for it.
I'll be helping.
Pig sty.
Who can handle the wildest horse in here? You.
Now that's rare.
That's special.
And remember, growing up you spent nearly every weekend at the ranch with your mom and me.
Yeah, and then I fell off.
And I remember that horses are high, and weigh like a bazillion pounds.
You know how many times I've fallen off? Too many times to count.
You're not helping, Rudy.
Hey.
What if you rode something else? Like what, a train? Great idea.
No, something that's not a horse.
Like a pony, or something.
You know, I don't know what celebrity you are, but hey, can I get your autograph? Hey, Josh.
I thought you had like extreme chicken pox.
My roommate really knows how to sell a story.
Yeah.
How do you get ready? When you're going to a show? Eat a lot of carbs, sleep tons, burn pictures of my rivals in a midnight ceremony, of course, beneath the Blood moon.
Forget it.
(LAUGHS) Look.
I have like a tack box with all of the stuff that Whistler needs.
And I have my own bag, right? And I have like a checklist for that.
So, you know, a day or two before I just go down the list and make sure everything's in there.
My mom helped me work out a system.
I've never really lived by myself before.
None of us have.
Except maybe Elaine.
I'm pretty sure she was born fully formed, and like, forty.
No, I mean like, I've always had help.
Like Help with a capital H? Like servants? Like riding instructors, coaches, you know, cooks, personal chefs, personal shoppers, nannies.
Did you have one of those ladies that hand you a towel after you've washed your hands? Or like one of those dudes that would taste your food to make sure nothing was messed with? Something like that.
Sweet! Listen, Big A.
It makes totaly sense that you had a tough time getting ready for the meet.
It was a first for you.
But you think I could learn? Yeah.
You promise she's not scary? I promise! I give you Mrs.
Whiskers.
Okay.
Even I can agree to the fact that she's pretty unscary.
She's big though.
Well, TK's about sixteen hands, and she's barely twelve.
Like, she'll fit in your pocket.
Plus, she's a million years old, and she's had a million different riders, so she'll be fine.
Do you want to go for it? I forget how to start.
Okay.
Left foot in the left stirrup, then you grab the front and the back of the saddle and up you go over.
She's eating.
Is that okay? Maybe I should wait.
Maybe I should eat.
Kit.
I'm still scared.
Do you know what I'm scared of? Snakes.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
Like, have you seen the way they move? They're like cut off fingers that want to crawl all over you.
I once jumped off a footbridge because someone made a hissing noise.
I like snakes.
Have you seen the video where the snake eats the entire porcupine? No.
Quit stalling.
Just come on.
You can do it.
I can do it.
(LAUGHS) I got this.
(BUMP) Kit! Oh.
Did I do it? So close.
So close.
You need a snack and a rest.
Come on.
I feel like I'm four again.
Thanks anyways.
Oh, that's alright.
I was talking to Mrs.
Whiskers.
I can't believe I fainted.
Oh gross! Where am I going to find clean socks? Where am I going to find anything? Ha-ha! You're wearing my clothes.
Very funny.
Woo! Yeah! (LAUGHS) Barbarian.
ANYA: (HUMMING) Where have you been? I was in the room of washing machines and drying machines.
My worst totally happened.
I've never done laundry before.
It was quite exhilerating.
Wait, what? I fainted.
In front of Will.
I tried to get on this pony, and he looked like a toy, but still.
Oh no! Timber! Right into the dirt, as predicted.
Do you think you drool when you faint? Because if I drooled on Will, it is my turn to never leave this room.
Definitely not.
It probably just looked like you were resting your eyes.
I'll never ride.
Let's revamp.
Best and worst.
Okay, best is obvious.
I climb up on TK, and it's wonderful, and we gallop through the fields with a rainbow coming out of his tail like some kind of unicorn magic.
(LAUGHS) Worst? I'm eighty-six, and I still live here in this room, and I can't go anywhere because I haven't managed to ride.
Oh, and Elaine's granddaughter is shoving schedules in my face all day long.
You live in Italy.
Ooh, I love Italy.
Wait, uh, let's start with the small things.
Like? Well, I needed to learn how to do my own laundry, and see? Wow! You decided to start with the really small things.
Oh, I'm a failure! Wait! No, no, wait! You tried! Did you know how to use a washing machine at all yesterday? No.
Now you do! Sort of.
You're my hero.
I will teach you the cold cycle sometime.
And how to sort.
Yeah, but I wasn't afraid of washing machines.
As far as you know.
Maybe you were attacked by one as a baby, and just blocked it out.
Unlikely.
(SIGH) We both need to keep going.
Just like you said.
Small things.
Baby steps.
JOSH: The show shirts are $55.
I mean pounds.
I'll take five.
Instead of the regular riding blouses? As well.
And the uniform blouses.
So that is then twenty shirts.
Go back, go back, go back.
You're saying that she actually fainted? Yeah.
But please don't make a big deal about it, okay? She's totally embarrassed.
Kit's truly afraid.
Like Will and his snake troubles.
What do you mean? Oh, he's so sweet.
Kit was all nervous, so he told her that he was afraid of snakes, to make her feel better, and I think it worked.
Hmm.
Okay.
For real now.
Why are you getting all this stuff? Because I'm doing it.
I am making plans, and getting organized, and getting on top of things.
Who needs twenty shirts? You know? Didn't know you were such a princess.
What did you call me? Princess? Is that some kind of gigantic insult here? Don't call me that.
It's rude.
How? Princesses are spoiled, and they can't do anything for themselves.
Why would anyone want to be friends with one? They throw awesome parties and have private jets? Yes, because of what they have, not who they are.
I have to go.
Can you please put this on my account? Anya, don't be mad.
In summary, current goals of Rose Cottage include earlier bed times, tidier corridors, and a long term philanthropic plan.
I intend to restore Rose Cottage to the top of the house standings.
Best of luck with that.
Yes, Poppy.
I have been burdened with some challenging people this year, but I intend to rise to the challenge.
Thank you, Ms.
Wiltshire.
Ladies, you're dismissed.
Ms.
Wiltshire, would you mind? Make sure Ms.
Bridges gets that.
It's rather important.
(BELL RINGS) Cricket trousers.
Nav, hey, and yes, those are a thing, and we do carry them.
Dude, where were you playing cricket? The dump? I don't know what a dump is exactly.
This was Palmerston.
Will did that to your pants? They're called trousers.
Pants are what you wear underneath.
Forget I asked.
(SIGH) He did it because I had his half of our room cleaned.
Seriously? That's ungrateful.
Listen, dude, I need to fill you in, okay? You are looking at one of the tidiest dudes you will ever meet.
You know, I alphabetize my shirts.
How does that even- But do you know who my roommate is? Leo Ducasse.
And do you know what we call him? He-laine.
I seriously need to move out, like now.
You know, Palmerston moves over to my room, I move in, you know.
I travel light.
I won't bring stuff.
I won't bring anything.
It'll be way, way tidier.
It's definitely not that I want you to move in.
I bake! Did you know that? I will throw these cricket trousers in for free.
I would definitely prefer to pay for them, although that is a generous offer.
I will pay my roommate back for what he's done.
You know, I actually heard something rather interesting about him.
You should still be in your room.
I just got a little freaked out.
Fainting is not a little freaked out.
Fainting is your body saying, "Hey, stop it!" And if I have to choose between my daughter passing out and that jerk of a horse getting shipped out, it's hasta la vista, TK.
Because family comes before a horse? Because I still remember having to pick my kid up off the ground, take her to the hospital, and worry that she had a concussion.
Feeling like I was the worst father ever for letting her anywhere near a horse.
It wasn't your fault, dad.
It wasn't anybody's fault.
Not even Freckles, and that horse was a jerk.
(CHUCKLES) Falling happens.
You don't even have to be on a horse to fall.
It's just that he was running, and I couldn't get my foot out of the stirrup, and my head was bouncing along the ground, and his hooves were so close.
It felt like they were on my head.
So you're not afraid of getting on a horse.
You're not afraid of riding a horse.
I'm afraid of being dragged.
Come on, TK.
We've got some baby steps to take together.
Hey, we're friends, right? I don't want to hurt you.
You don't want to hurt me.
So between us, I'm still a little scared.
So I'm going to face it head on with thirty minutes of uninterrupted cuddle time.
No matter what.
Starting now.
Ok.
Nobody ever got dragged during a cuddle.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I boring you? Hoo.
Ok.
Let's just hug it out.
Hey, good boy.
Good boy.
Baby steps are nice.
(HISSING) (SCREAMS) Nav.
Uh, no, I haven't seen him.
Nav! Was one of the first form girls here, because I swear I heard shrieking.
My ears are still ringing.
Ha-ha! Are we even? We're even.
Gentleman's agreement? Alright.
You're lucky no one important was here.
Oh, what do I have here? Eighteen seconds of pure joy.
(LAUGHS) No, Nav, don't you dare! Get back here!
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