Ridiculousness (2011) s03e01 Episode Script
Pauly D
1 - Close your eyes and just fall down, okay? - Okay.
Okay, then Lauren's gonna catch you.
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.
Okay, it's called a trust fall.
Okay, trust fall.
Ready, set, go.
[Laughs.]
Yolo! [Rock music.]
[Laughs.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Welcome to Ridiculousness.
I am Rob Dyrdek.
Along with me, the ever-so matching Steelo Brim and Chanel West Coast.
Ah, don't mess up my hair.
All right, today's guest was made famous by the Jersey Shore.
He went on to have his own spin-off, and he is a world-famous DJ.
The one and only DJ Pauly D.
Take a look.
This is DJ Pauly D.
Bein' a Guido's a way of life.
Get crazy, get wild let's party, get loud If you wanna have fun then do something if you wanna have fun then do something - Bam, there you go, Pauly D.
[Laughs.]
- I like that.
Let's party, get loud If you wanna have fun then do something if you wanna have fun then do something crazy Ladies and gentlemen, Pauly D! [Cheers and applause.]
What up, homey? What's up, girl? Mwah.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Laughs.]
All right, I'm gonna say it's not often that we have that level of cheering for somebody.
You know what I mean? I would argue to say that's the most ever.
You wanna know why? Because I think you live the funnest life humanly possible.
I can't argue with that.
I mean, you got a great crowd, though.
You got a great crowd.
[Cheers and applause.]
Like to me, of everybody on the Jersey Shore, like everyone sort of played themselves out at one point or another.
Maybe they ended up in rehab, maybe they cried.
Maybe they had a thing Like, you absolutely nothing.
Like, it was just the time of your life all the way through everything.
All the way from like forget about, like, doing something random.
You're DJing for Britney Spears and signed to G-unit.
[Laughs.]
[Cheers.]
All right, check it out, so while you're filming something like the Jersey Shore, where you live together, you eventually start messing with each other.
Yeah, I mean, that's the my favorite thing to do, actually.
Is it? Okay, all right.
Well, let's take a look at you waking up some of your roommates in an unusual way.
Oh, yeah.
[Horn blasting.]
[Horn blasting.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Where does, "oh, yeah, wake up, yeah," come from? I don't want anybody sleepin'.
You should not sleep.
If I'm up, you gotta be up.
Well, I think they drank a little bit more than you.
You know what I'm saying.
Yep, maybe.
All right, the category, "Ah, yeah, wake up, yeah.
" [Laughter.]
I'm just sleepin' in a tent, and I got a couple of fuckers for friends.
Ah, yeah, wake up, yeah! [Laughs.]
Yes.
You're gonna die! [Screams.]
[Laughter.]
I never noticed he said, "you're gonna die!" You're gonna die! [Screams.]
[Laughs.]
It's just not nice.
He's tired.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[Laughs.]
Looks like Suge Knight, man.
You tell me that doesn't look like Suge Knight.
Yeah, that's so Suge Knight.
[Laughter.]
Did somebody order a 7:00 AM devil call? [Laughter.]
He was ready.
Ready for war.
Just sleeping in school, doing a little bit of school sleeping here.
Roger.
Head smack.
Face kick.
Body slam, and punch face.
Oh, man! But you you know you know he's been wanting to whup his ass for a long time.
Thank you.
You wanna know why? Because it's one thing if he just karate kicked his face is one thing, but you know he really hates him when he goes back for one more.
He stomped him.
Bam! Oh, damn.
We're so lucky that there just happens to be a random-ass bathtub.
Oh, that's messed up.
This is fucked up.
Why is this so fucked up? [Laughter.]
Wait, he said he says, "I have socks on", but if you go back and look His socks need to be cleaned anyway.
Okay? [Laughter.]
Uh-oh.
Oh, man.
This is just rude.
This is just bad.
Oh, come on.
Wake up, yeah! Yeah, wake up, yeah! [Firework shrieks.]
[Crackling.]
Oh.
[Laughter.]
- So drunk you can't even say anything, you just - Damn.
All right, so, Jersey Shore is officially over, right? Mm-hmm.
So, what we wanted to do is take a look back at some of the most incredible people that never made it.
Jersey Shore Rejects.
- There's a lot, there's a lot.
- Take a look.
Aww, yeah! I wanna be on the Jersey Shore so bad! [Laughter.]
Next year, man, I'm gonna do this forever! [Laughs.]
Oh, man.
We got ourselves a Snook-alike.
I wanna be on it so bad.
I can do I'll do anything.
I'll ride a bull.
[Laughs.]
Oh, damn.
This is Jersey Jeff.
Never a dull moment when the man boobs come out.
Leave it on, thank you.
Aw, yeah.
[Laughs.]
Oh, yeah, I'm looking to get me some of that.
Get in there, man, I'll bet you could get some.
It's a hottie force field.
[Laughs.]
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
This ain't even legal to put on TV.
What? What is he doing? Ah! Let me tell you something, though.
Let me stop right here.
If you gotta go on your toes, you don't deserve to.
[Laughter.]
Go ahead, go ahead.
Put it up and pound it.
Pou oh! Oh, I said, "put it up and pound it," and that's terrible.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are with the one and only DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
All right, so we like to build these episodes around our guests, and today we found through all these Jersey Shores, you just kept saying the same thing every time you guys went out, and we were like, okay, we're gonna put a full category around this saying.
Take a look at this.
Hello.
All right, no problem.
The cabs are here! Cabs are here! The cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here.
Cabs are here! The category.
"Cab's Are Here.
" Cabs is comin' in hot.
Comin' in real hot.
Comin' in hot.
Comin' in hot! You good? Everything's good? You have arrived at your destination.
Oh, damn.
Yo, you see that? Yo.
The odd thing about this, he don't care about the cab.
He wants to say, "how you guys doing?" That was crazy, right? Boom.
What's up with you? Where you going? Where you going? You still want that cab? Nah, he's like he's like, "over here at our hotel, the cabs come quick," so he's trying to sell his hotel.
It'll be here any second.
It's here now.
You want to keep complaining? That's hospitality.
Andre The Giant.
I want your cab.
Get out of my cab.
Get out of my cab! When you're mad, you stomp your foot.
Even if you got mandals on, man.
Oh, my cab, it's in the water.
Ah.
[Laughter.]
Hey.
That was crazy.
I just remembered I don't know how to drive.
Oh, man.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
All: Oh.
Uh-oh, dodge it, dodge it.
Dodge it, doge it, good move.
Good move.
[Crash.]
Oh, nice.
[All groan.]
We're here.
But you see he left his customer in the car? He gets out, and watch this door try to open.
[All groan.]
I'ma leave your ass right there.
I was here first.
Fuck you, Michael.
I bought you a steak, Jeffrey.
[Laughter.]
Oh, they fightin' for the cab.
[Laughter.]
He gets him in a chokehold.
Choke him out, choke him out.
Nope, no, head punch, head Donkey punch, donkey punch.
See, that happens a lot, though.
Fighting for cabs? Well, especially if you just paid for a man's steak.
Yep.
All right, let's talk about your lifestyle, man.
There's a couple things involved, man.
One was tanning, one was cleaning clothes, and the other's doing what? Going to the gym.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Laughs.]
This next category is about those at the gym that should not be.
Take a look.
It's called "It's Not Working Out.
" The worst spotters in the history of spotting.
Am I good? You're good.
All: Oh! They're still not helping him.
No, that's what I'm saying.
No one cares! They knew it was a disaster from the beginning.
They don't respect him, you know what I mean? He was like they're like, you could never do 642.
I could do 642.
Do it then.
[Laughter.]
Let's go.
You only live once.
Yolo! Yolo! [Laughter.]
She just yelled, "yolo!" "You only live once.
Yolo!" Wha! I love lifting weights, and I love all the people who've ever done it before me.
[Laughter.]
Oh, no! [Yells.]
Seven years of skinny.
One-armed solo basement pushup? All: Oh.
Oh, shit.
You can stand up.
You can stand up.
You can stand up, and then you go down.
You can stretch it and lose an eye.
Oh! [Laughter.]
What was that? Aw, man.
[Grunts.]
Okay.
I pick up chicks at the gym.
Got this grip strong, strong, strong.
Now push.
Push and [Grunts.]
This isn't what I thought you meant by working out together.
Ha! Ha! Toss it.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, my God.
I am so buff.
I am so buff.
I am so sleepy.
[Laughter.]
- He flexed out.
- Okay, have you seen that before? Yes.
All the time.
He flexed out.
What, like dudes in the gym, like, [Jabbering.]
[Snores.]
Yeah, sometimes you're, like, flexing, you're like, "bah," and then you just flex out.
First time I've ever seen it, and now I know officially what it is.
Getting flexed out.
We'll be right back with more DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Let me ask you this, 9 times out of 10, are you taking the hot friend or are you taking the grenade? Well, I'm trained in the art of dodging a grenade, so, I'm gonna take the hot friend, know what I mean? It's a war.
Is there such thing as dude grenades? Yeah, duh! Absolutely! You ever, you ev-- Have you ever taken a dude grenade? - No.
- Okay.
She hasn't blown up yet.
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are here with DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
For those who don't know, can you please explain what the word "grenade" means to you? You know how there's always, like, a hot girl and she has, like, a kind of an unattractive friend? Like, that's the grenade.
So somebody gotta take the grenade.
It's a war out there.
You know what I'm saying? Just hope it don't blow up.
[Laughter.]
Well, we got grenades, but in more of the real fashion.
Let's take a look at grenades.
It's safe for both of us.
Now just get it over the fence.
Ah, fuck! Fucking get down! Oh, man.
Oh! Yeah, get your cameras out.
It's a detergent bomb.
It's good for cleaning the whole house.
All: Oh! Damn! You've heard of SEAL Team Six.
This is donkey team three.
Stand down, stand down! [Laughter.]
Can't wait to go to war with Brad.
This is how I do it.
I mean, I just kind of keep going back and forth, back and forth, back and oh! [Laughs.]
I swear that never happens.
Light the bromine.
It's safe because I'm wearing a lab coat.
Oh, no.
Someone explain to me what this is, man.
What are they doing? All: Oh! You may or may not know this, but white trash is super flammable.
Cherry bomb [All groan.]
The bagel bites are done.
I love bagel bites.
[Laughter.]
Mercury.
[Jabbers.]
[All groan.]
Man down, man down.
Who drops a grenade underneath their own boat? [Laughter.]
Okay, let's talk about you have your own clothing line.
Tell me about it.
Yep, Dirty Couture.
I'm wearing it.
That's the symbol.
- Symbol right there.
- Okay.
At Dirty Couture we keep it fresh.
We decided to take Dirty Couture to the next level with a segment we call "Mud Couture.
" Comin' in hot.
Lookin' for a mud bath.
All: Oh! Got it.
[Laughter.]
How about a little bit of sewage couture? Head-deep in doo-doo.
Here comes them duke boys again.
All: Oh! Nobody cares that this guy almost died.
Fuck it, it's just Jeff.
Let him suck some mud for a while.
Nobody's helping him.
You're good, right? - You're good? Cool? - All right.
Too fast.
Too little preparation.
A lot of pain.
Like, no chance of anything but that happening.
Yep.
Mud dive! He thought that was way deeper.
Comin' in hot.
Perfect.
[Laughter.]
Okay, okay.
This woman is urinating.
All: Ew.
I know exactly what this is.
I don't know where he's at, but apparently there's no tanning beds.
This guy's really pale.
No.
And the only way to get tan is through the mud, so now, when this guy washes it off, he has a nice tan, you know what I'm saying? He's gonna be extra bronze with all that muddy urine.
[Laughter.]
I am a disgusting, dirty urine pig.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Whoa! All right, so who would you say is your very best friend on Jersey Shore.
That would be my boy Vinny.
[Cheers.]
We kind of put together this little segment of videos of you guys just men-bonding a little bit, right? Uh-oh.
Let's take a look at this.
And you say you love me Man bond.
All: Aww.
Just as I am Nothing wrong with a bro dance.
You say you want me Two happy bros.
Man, that felt good.
Yeah, bro.
Both: Hi, guys.
How was camping? Two guys falling in love.
That's my boy.
There is nothing wrong with guys touching and laughing.
Not at all, not at all.
That's my boy.
So we created a segment called "GTL," but not gym, tan, laundry.
It's Guys Touching and Laughing.
Take a look.
[Laughter.]
What is love, love? You want to bro down? Yeah, bro.
High-speed vertical man on man.
Touch it! All: Oh! Slap it out.
It's a bro thing.
Okay, okay, yeah.
One on the side, one on the other side, put it in the center of me.
Ah, yeah.
Oh! Just two guys.
I care about you.
You care about me.
I'm sorry about that.
Go.
Put it in, bring it in, bring it in, bring it in.
What the hell are they doing? Bro, he's like, "you went too close.
" No.
If you're wiping your forehead off, you got a little bit of Jerry's butt sweat on your neck.
[Singing nonsense.]
[Thud.]
Ohh.
Come on in, bro.
Put your belly on me.
Up, over, and back down together.
[Laughs.]
Oh, I don't want to stop.
I want to lay here forever.
All right, I'm gonna squeeze you.
Sit right deep in your center spot.
[Laughing.]
- Don't All: - Oh! Why did he stop? He could have been going.
It was a nice, romantic ride in a carriage.
I have so much respect for you as a man to come up over top of me, I'll come ohh! Where is his head right now? Now I just want to touch your butt.
[Laughter.]
Okay, we are at the end of the show, where we like to do a special category called "Chanel's Best Guess.
" And what we do is we just find absurd videos on the internet, and we take the search words and let her guess what she thinks it might be.
So today's search word is It's a cup party It's a cup party Um Cup party I don't know.
Everybody parties with, like, cups on their head.
Very, very close.
Take a look at cup party.
What is that? Is that a cup? What's going on? What is that? Oh, my God.
He's hitting it with the eel stroke.
- I don't know what that - Look at that guy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Look at him.
Oh, my God.
What is going on? [Laughter.]
I get it, I get it.
Oh, man.
Is he trying to fill the cup? Look, get in there.
- I was talking about a different head, but - Okay.
And what a way to go out.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is it for today's episode.
Thank you, Pauly D.
Thank you, Chanel and Steelo.
We will see you next time on Ridiculousness.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah All: Oh! [Laughter.]
Okay, then Lauren's gonna catch you.
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.
Okay, it's called a trust fall.
Okay, trust fall.
Ready, set, go.
[Laughs.]
Yolo! [Rock music.]
[Laughs.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Welcome to Ridiculousness.
I am Rob Dyrdek.
Along with me, the ever-so matching Steelo Brim and Chanel West Coast.
Ah, don't mess up my hair.
All right, today's guest was made famous by the Jersey Shore.
He went on to have his own spin-off, and he is a world-famous DJ.
The one and only DJ Pauly D.
Take a look.
This is DJ Pauly D.
Bein' a Guido's a way of life.
Get crazy, get wild let's party, get loud If you wanna have fun then do something if you wanna have fun then do something - Bam, there you go, Pauly D.
[Laughs.]
- I like that.
Let's party, get loud If you wanna have fun then do something if you wanna have fun then do something crazy Ladies and gentlemen, Pauly D! [Cheers and applause.]
What up, homey? What's up, girl? Mwah.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Laughs.]
All right, I'm gonna say it's not often that we have that level of cheering for somebody.
You know what I mean? I would argue to say that's the most ever.
You wanna know why? Because I think you live the funnest life humanly possible.
I can't argue with that.
I mean, you got a great crowd, though.
You got a great crowd.
[Cheers and applause.]
Like to me, of everybody on the Jersey Shore, like everyone sort of played themselves out at one point or another.
Maybe they ended up in rehab, maybe they cried.
Maybe they had a thing Like, you absolutely nothing.
Like, it was just the time of your life all the way through everything.
All the way from like forget about, like, doing something random.
You're DJing for Britney Spears and signed to G-unit.
[Laughs.]
[Cheers.]
All right, check it out, so while you're filming something like the Jersey Shore, where you live together, you eventually start messing with each other.
Yeah, I mean, that's the my favorite thing to do, actually.
Is it? Okay, all right.
Well, let's take a look at you waking up some of your roommates in an unusual way.
Oh, yeah.
[Horn blasting.]
[Horn blasting.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Where does, "oh, yeah, wake up, yeah," come from? I don't want anybody sleepin'.
You should not sleep.
If I'm up, you gotta be up.
Well, I think they drank a little bit more than you.
You know what I'm saying.
Yep, maybe.
All right, the category, "Ah, yeah, wake up, yeah.
" [Laughter.]
I'm just sleepin' in a tent, and I got a couple of fuckers for friends.
Ah, yeah, wake up, yeah! [Laughs.]
Yes.
You're gonna die! [Screams.]
[Laughter.]
I never noticed he said, "you're gonna die!" You're gonna die! [Screams.]
[Laughs.]
It's just not nice.
He's tired.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[Laughs.]
Looks like Suge Knight, man.
You tell me that doesn't look like Suge Knight.
Yeah, that's so Suge Knight.
[Laughter.]
Did somebody order a 7:00 AM devil call? [Laughter.]
He was ready.
Ready for war.
Just sleeping in school, doing a little bit of school sleeping here.
Roger.
Head smack.
Face kick.
Body slam, and punch face.
Oh, man! But you you know you know he's been wanting to whup his ass for a long time.
Thank you.
You wanna know why? Because it's one thing if he just karate kicked his face is one thing, but you know he really hates him when he goes back for one more.
He stomped him.
Bam! Oh, damn.
We're so lucky that there just happens to be a random-ass bathtub.
Oh, that's messed up.
This is fucked up.
Why is this so fucked up? [Laughter.]
Wait, he said he says, "I have socks on", but if you go back and look His socks need to be cleaned anyway.
Okay? [Laughter.]
Uh-oh.
Oh, man.
This is just rude.
This is just bad.
Oh, come on.
Wake up, yeah! Yeah, wake up, yeah! [Firework shrieks.]
[Crackling.]
Oh.
[Laughter.]
- So drunk you can't even say anything, you just - Damn.
All right, so, Jersey Shore is officially over, right? Mm-hmm.
So, what we wanted to do is take a look back at some of the most incredible people that never made it.
Jersey Shore Rejects.
- There's a lot, there's a lot.
- Take a look.
Aww, yeah! I wanna be on the Jersey Shore so bad! [Laughter.]
Next year, man, I'm gonna do this forever! [Laughs.]
Oh, man.
We got ourselves a Snook-alike.
I wanna be on it so bad.
I can do I'll do anything.
I'll ride a bull.
[Laughs.]
Oh, damn.
This is Jersey Jeff.
Never a dull moment when the man boobs come out.
Leave it on, thank you.
Aw, yeah.
[Laughs.]
Oh, yeah, I'm looking to get me some of that.
Get in there, man, I'll bet you could get some.
It's a hottie force field.
[Laughs.]
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
This ain't even legal to put on TV.
What? What is he doing? Ah! Let me tell you something, though.
Let me stop right here.
If you gotta go on your toes, you don't deserve to.
[Laughter.]
Go ahead, go ahead.
Put it up and pound it.
Pou oh! Oh, I said, "put it up and pound it," and that's terrible.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are with the one and only DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
All right, so we like to build these episodes around our guests, and today we found through all these Jersey Shores, you just kept saying the same thing every time you guys went out, and we were like, okay, we're gonna put a full category around this saying.
Take a look at this.
Hello.
All right, no problem.
The cabs are here! Cabs are here! The cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here.
Cabs are here! The category.
"Cab's Are Here.
" Cabs is comin' in hot.
Comin' in real hot.
Comin' in hot.
Comin' in hot! You good? Everything's good? You have arrived at your destination.
Oh, damn.
Yo, you see that? Yo.
The odd thing about this, he don't care about the cab.
He wants to say, "how you guys doing?" That was crazy, right? Boom.
What's up with you? Where you going? Where you going? You still want that cab? Nah, he's like he's like, "over here at our hotel, the cabs come quick," so he's trying to sell his hotel.
It'll be here any second.
It's here now.
You want to keep complaining? That's hospitality.
Andre The Giant.
I want your cab.
Get out of my cab.
Get out of my cab! When you're mad, you stomp your foot.
Even if you got mandals on, man.
Oh, my cab, it's in the water.
Ah.
[Laughter.]
Hey.
That was crazy.
I just remembered I don't know how to drive.
Oh, man.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
All: Oh.
Uh-oh, dodge it, dodge it.
Dodge it, doge it, good move.
Good move.
[Crash.]
Oh, nice.
[All groan.]
We're here.
But you see he left his customer in the car? He gets out, and watch this door try to open.
[All groan.]
I'ma leave your ass right there.
I was here first.
Fuck you, Michael.
I bought you a steak, Jeffrey.
[Laughter.]
Oh, they fightin' for the cab.
[Laughter.]
He gets him in a chokehold.
Choke him out, choke him out.
Nope, no, head punch, head Donkey punch, donkey punch.
See, that happens a lot, though.
Fighting for cabs? Well, especially if you just paid for a man's steak.
Yep.
All right, let's talk about your lifestyle, man.
There's a couple things involved, man.
One was tanning, one was cleaning clothes, and the other's doing what? Going to the gym.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Laughs.]
This next category is about those at the gym that should not be.
Take a look.
It's called "It's Not Working Out.
" The worst spotters in the history of spotting.
Am I good? You're good.
All: Oh! They're still not helping him.
No, that's what I'm saying.
No one cares! They knew it was a disaster from the beginning.
They don't respect him, you know what I mean? He was like they're like, you could never do 642.
I could do 642.
Do it then.
[Laughter.]
Let's go.
You only live once.
Yolo! Yolo! [Laughter.]
She just yelled, "yolo!" "You only live once.
Yolo!" Wha! I love lifting weights, and I love all the people who've ever done it before me.
[Laughter.]
Oh, no! [Yells.]
Seven years of skinny.
One-armed solo basement pushup? All: Oh.
Oh, shit.
You can stand up.
You can stand up.
You can stand up, and then you go down.
You can stretch it and lose an eye.
Oh! [Laughter.]
What was that? Aw, man.
[Grunts.]
Okay.
I pick up chicks at the gym.
Got this grip strong, strong, strong.
Now push.
Push and [Grunts.]
This isn't what I thought you meant by working out together.
Ha! Ha! Toss it.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, my God.
I am so buff.
I am so buff.
I am so sleepy.
[Laughter.]
- He flexed out.
- Okay, have you seen that before? Yes.
All the time.
He flexed out.
What, like dudes in the gym, like, [Jabbering.]
[Snores.]
Yeah, sometimes you're, like, flexing, you're like, "bah," and then you just flex out.
First time I've ever seen it, and now I know officially what it is.
Getting flexed out.
We'll be right back with more DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Let me ask you this, 9 times out of 10, are you taking the hot friend or are you taking the grenade? Well, I'm trained in the art of dodging a grenade, so, I'm gonna take the hot friend, know what I mean? It's a war.
Is there such thing as dude grenades? Yeah, duh! Absolutely! You ever, you ev-- Have you ever taken a dude grenade? - No.
- Okay.
She hasn't blown up yet.
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are here with DJ Pauly D.
[Cheers and applause.]
For those who don't know, can you please explain what the word "grenade" means to you? You know how there's always, like, a hot girl and she has, like, a kind of an unattractive friend? Like, that's the grenade.
So somebody gotta take the grenade.
It's a war out there.
You know what I'm saying? Just hope it don't blow up.
[Laughter.]
Well, we got grenades, but in more of the real fashion.
Let's take a look at grenades.
It's safe for both of us.
Now just get it over the fence.
Ah, fuck! Fucking get down! Oh, man.
Oh! Yeah, get your cameras out.
It's a detergent bomb.
It's good for cleaning the whole house.
All: Oh! Damn! You've heard of SEAL Team Six.
This is donkey team three.
Stand down, stand down! [Laughter.]
Can't wait to go to war with Brad.
This is how I do it.
I mean, I just kind of keep going back and forth, back and forth, back and oh! [Laughs.]
I swear that never happens.
Light the bromine.
It's safe because I'm wearing a lab coat.
Oh, no.
Someone explain to me what this is, man.
What are they doing? All: Oh! You may or may not know this, but white trash is super flammable.
Cherry bomb [All groan.]
The bagel bites are done.
I love bagel bites.
[Laughter.]
Mercury.
[Jabbers.]
[All groan.]
Man down, man down.
Who drops a grenade underneath their own boat? [Laughter.]
Okay, let's talk about you have your own clothing line.
Tell me about it.
Yep, Dirty Couture.
I'm wearing it.
That's the symbol.
- Symbol right there.
- Okay.
At Dirty Couture we keep it fresh.
We decided to take Dirty Couture to the next level with a segment we call "Mud Couture.
" Comin' in hot.
Lookin' for a mud bath.
All: Oh! Got it.
[Laughter.]
How about a little bit of sewage couture? Head-deep in doo-doo.
Here comes them duke boys again.
All: Oh! Nobody cares that this guy almost died.
Fuck it, it's just Jeff.
Let him suck some mud for a while.
Nobody's helping him.
You're good, right? - You're good? Cool? - All right.
Too fast.
Too little preparation.
A lot of pain.
Like, no chance of anything but that happening.
Yep.
Mud dive! He thought that was way deeper.
Comin' in hot.
Perfect.
[Laughter.]
Okay, okay.
This woman is urinating.
All: Ew.
I know exactly what this is.
I don't know where he's at, but apparently there's no tanning beds.
This guy's really pale.
No.
And the only way to get tan is through the mud, so now, when this guy washes it off, he has a nice tan, you know what I'm saying? He's gonna be extra bronze with all that muddy urine.
[Laughter.]
I am a disgusting, dirty urine pig.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Whoa! All right, so who would you say is your very best friend on Jersey Shore.
That would be my boy Vinny.
[Cheers.]
We kind of put together this little segment of videos of you guys just men-bonding a little bit, right? Uh-oh.
Let's take a look at this.
And you say you love me Man bond.
All: Aww.
Just as I am Nothing wrong with a bro dance.
You say you want me Two happy bros.
Man, that felt good.
Yeah, bro.
Both: Hi, guys.
How was camping? Two guys falling in love.
That's my boy.
There is nothing wrong with guys touching and laughing.
Not at all, not at all.
That's my boy.
So we created a segment called "GTL," but not gym, tan, laundry.
It's Guys Touching and Laughing.
Take a look.
[Laughter.]
What is love, love? You want to bro down? Yeah, bro.
High-speed vertical man on man.
Touch it! All: Oh! Slap it out.
It's a bro thing.
Okay, okay, yeah.
One on the side, one on the other side, put it in the center of me.
Ah, yeah.
Oh! Just two guys.
I care about you.
You care about me.
I'm sorry about that.
Go.
Put it in, bring it in, bring it in, bring it in.
What the hell are they doing? Bro, he's like, "you went too close.
" No.
If you're wiping your forehead off, you got a little bit of Jerry's butt sweat on your neck.
[Singing nonsense.]
[Thud.]
Ohh.
Come on in, bro.
Put your belly on me.
Up, over, and back down together.
[Laughs.]
Oh, I don't want to stop.
I want to lay here forever.
All right, I'm gonna squeeze you.
Sit right deep in your center spot.
[Laughing.]
- Don't All: - Oh! Why did he stop? He could have been going.
It was a nice, romantic ride in a carriage.
I have so much respect for you as a man to come up over top of me, I'll come ohh! Where is his head right now? Now I just want to touch your butt.
[Laughter.]
Okay, we are at the end of the show, where we like to do a special category called "Chanel's Best Guess.
" And what we do is we just find absurd videos on the internet, and we take the search words and let her guess what she thinks it might be.
So today's search word is It's a cup party It's a cup party Um Cup party I don't know.
Everybody parties with, like, cups on their head.
Very, very close.
Take a look at cup party.
What is that? Is that a cup? What's going on? What is that? Oh, my God.
He's hitting it with the eel stroke.
- I don't know what that - Look at that guy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Look at him.
Oh, my God.
What is going on? [Laughter.]
I get it, I get it.
Oh, man.
Is he trying to fill the cup? Look, get in there.
- I was talking about a different head, but - Okay.
And what a way to go out.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is it for today's episode.
Thank you, Pauly D.
Thank you, Chanel and Steelo.
We will see you next time on Ridiculousness.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah All: Oh! [Laughter.]