Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

Mystic Mayhem

1 Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power Rising up against evil paint the city green Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines With each other they discover Their destiny and rise Cowabunga Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half-shel Turtle power Rise Hey! Huh? - What the - Easy there! Hey, I'm shopping here! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [BOTH GRUNTING] Whoa! - Ah! - Not cool, dude! - Ah! - You gotta watch where you're going, man! This way.
[GROWLS DEEPLY] [WHINES] [GRUNTS] [DOG GROWLS] [INSTRUMENTAL HIP-HOP MUSIC] [GUESTS TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Huh? [LAUGHS EVILLY] - Ya! - Ha! - Hoo! - Ah! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Yellow Submarine, are we clear? Affirmative, Red Rover.
Copy.
Right, boys.
It's go time.
[LAUGHS EVILLY] [RECORD SCRATCH] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Cow - A - Bun - Ga! ALL: Cannonball! Whoo! [MUFFLED SPEECH] Whoo-hoo! [ALL CHEERING] Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride.
Uh, based on our velocity and entry angle, I concur.
We rad.
You guys crushed it! Give me five! Or three.
Couldn't have done it without you, April.
Our girl with the plan.
- And keys to the roof.
- Hmph.
Let's go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park.
Game on! Just one thing first.
"Wet Floor" and "Dry Pool.
" Our work is done here.
Donnie, can I hitch a ride? No probbles.
[GRUNTING] Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Huh? - [WHIMPERING] - Aww.
Oh! Hey! Hey, guys, hold up.
Poor thing looks lost.
[GROWLS] Aww.
Hey, little guy.
[CUTESY VOICE] What you doing here? [KISSING NOISES] Come to big Raphie.
- [LAUGHTER] - What? Pets love me, all right? I am at one with the animals.
[GROWLS] Aww.
I didn't get this drenched from the cannonball.
It looks so weird.
What is it? Maybe it's some kind of nuclear St.
Bernard.
- [ANGRY SCOFF] - [GASPS] Ooh! Humans! [WHISPERING] Initiate plan H.
Um, excuse me, sirs.
Can you direct us to the local science fiction convention that we are currently dressed for? [NASALLY] Snazzy alien turtle outfits, huh? We are just typical, normal humans who got lost in the middle of our normal, everyday human lives.
Nailed it.
[QUIETLY] Dude, you gotta make it to rehearsal.
[RUSSIAN ACCENT] Give to me creature.
How you say Pretty please Or I'll destroy you.
Really? You think you're gonna step to our friend? Rookie mistake, hoss.
And if you step to my friends for stepping to you for st stepping to me? You're gonna have to step to me.
Mm-kay? You do not intimidate us, with or without your fake nerd voices.
That was actually my real voice.
Well, you better get intimidated, 'cause we're like nothing you've ever seen.
- What's wrong with my voice? - Mm? [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Whoa! - No way! - Dude.
- Jumping Jack Flash! - Whoa! - Whoa.
[GROWLING] So You guys from Jersey? Really, Leo? What? I can't make a joke in the middle of the craziest thing ever? That's how I cope.
Whatever.
This is our chance to finally use these babies.
Weapons ahoy! We agreed to reserve "ahoy" for ship-based adventures, pal, please.
[SNARLING, BARKING] Guys, I got this.
[ELECTRONIC FANFARE] Fibonacci! Oh, no.
Ah, no, n oh, no, no.
That's so bad.
Dog thingy! [ROCK MUSIC] Hey, it plays fetch.
And teleports, which is oh, my gosh, it teleports! [GROWLS] - [ZAPPING SOUND] - Ah! - Donnie! - Pro tip: the inexplicable glow-y wave extraordinarily painful.
- [GROANS] - [GASPS] All right, Mikey.
You take the one that looks like a broken toaster.
I'll take the guy that looks like a fancy trash can.
They look exactly the same, and they don't look like either of those things! - Hey, where are you going? - [SNARLING] You had to ruin cannonball day.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC] Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! [METALLIC RINGING] [AWKWARD MUSIC] - [GROWLING] - My swords! [LAUGHS] [SNARLS] I don't need weapons to beat you! I got my rad skills! [GRUNTS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [COUGHS] Mikey, ninja mode.
[DISQUIETING MUSIC] [GROWLS] [GROWLS] Okay, uh, there's a chance he can still see us.
Ah! - Plan double-B! - Yeah! Brother-ball! [TRIUMPHANT CRY] [VARIOUS MARTIAL CRIES AND GRUNTS] [LOW GROWL] Ha! Ho! Take that! Had enough yet? [GROWLS] My 'chuks! Hey, why don't you pick on someone my size? [BELL DINGS] - [LOUD BARKING] - Ah! Ooh! Ah! [COUGHS] [GRUNTS] Ah! [HIGH-PITCHED CRY] Ah! Hey, trash can and toaster boy! If you know what's good for you, you'll leave my friends [QUIETLY] Alone.
What the [OMINOUS MUSIC] No! No! I have the agent and the vial.
Hyah! ALL: Whoa! [BICYCLE BELL RINGS] Sweet shortcut.
Wait! This is not a shortcut! [SCREAMS] Ah! Good to know.
[WHINES] - The dog thingy! - Hey! April! No! Oh.
April! I think she's okay, 'cause there's no, like, April bits on the ground.
Hey, April, are your bits on the other side of the wall? How do we get her out of there? And equally important where is "there"? Oh, hey! I've seen this before! In fact, we all have.
[FOREBODING MUSIC] In Splinter's do-not-touch cabinet.
You're right.
It's just like the symbol those creeps have.
Should we just ask him for it? And what do we say if he asks why we want it? That we need it to go after our best friend, who disappeared into a wall after our priceless weapons were destroyed by mystical jogger guys? Shh! Okay, here's the plan.
We gotta get Splinter out of the room.
[TV VOICE-OVER IN JAPANESE] Hey, Pop.
Any chance we could have the living room tonight? [SLURPS] Mm? [LAUGHS] [COUGHS] And I thought purple was the funny one! I told you guys I was the funniest.
What if I hooked it up so that you could watch in bed, huh? Wouldn't that be even lazier? No! My butt is asleep, just how I like it.
Now, leave me be! They're about to break out the scorpions! - [LAUGHS] - [TV VOICE-OVER IN JAPANESE] [LAUGHS] Plan one didn't work.
New plan.
All right, listen up.
We need ten chickens, a gallon of rubber cement, and - Leon's got it.
- How'd you get it? You know he always passes out after milk and cake.
[SNORING] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] A few hours ago, I would've called this foolish and impossible.
Now I just call it foolish.
Say what you want, Donnie.
Raph'll pull it off, 'cause if he doesn't, we'll lose our best friend forever.
Mikey, don't say that.
You know he chokes under pressure.
Leo, he's even more self-conscious when you talk about it.
And then you can smell his fear.
Stop talking about my fear stink! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [AWKWARD MUSIC] [GRUNTING] Come on! Stupid wall! Oh! How about we let the artist of the crew - take a poke at it? - I say give him a shot.
I mean, he can't do any worse, respectfully.
Hey.
[SMOOTH MUSIC] Mm.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC] Oh.
[TRIUMPHANT CRY] You beautiful fools.
It worked! All I had to do was believe in myself.
Okay, uh, what do we do now? Cannonball! ALL: Cannonball! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [PAINED GRUNTS] Land safely Aha! Oh, whoa! Whoa, whoa.
I can smell Raph's amazement stink.
[AWED MUSIC] - Whoa.
- This is crazy.
- Exactly what I expected.
- Are you kidding me? Psst! Hey, guys, over here.
April! - [LAUGHTER] - Missed you! - Yeah.
- Donnie, where are we? According to my calculations, we are in a tertiary meta-verse.
Actually, I've been exploring, and we're in a mystic hidden city deep under New York! - That was my second guess.
- Whoa.
So where's the dog thingy? He's in there.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC] - [ALL GASP] - Oh, look at the color scheme.
Whoa, I'd love to do my lab in this style.
Hey, there's the little guy.
- And the delivery guy, too! - [GROWLS] - We gotta help them get out! - Someone's coming.
[OMINOUS MUSIC] If you're the guy that keeps calling about the calamari, fine, it's pig butts! But the crab cakes are real.
I assure you, I have no interest in your petty cakes of crab.
But we would love to hear more about those pig butts.
Ah! So nice of you to return my vial.
You are about to be part of an experiment that will change the very nature of humanity.
All right! ALL: Hm.
This dude looks like trouble.
Yeah, and if I've learned anything from "Jupiter Jim" movies, glowing green usually equals bad.
So is this gonna hurt? It will if I'm doing it right.
Hey, that wasn't so oh, ow.
Okay, this part hurts.
This part oh! This part hurts.
Ah, that hurts! - Oh! - What's happening to him? That is messed up.
[EERIE MUSIC] [GURGLING YELL] [UNEASY GROANS] Yeah, jury's in.
That was imitation crab.
I just got used to acne.
Now this? [SCREAMS] [LAUGHS] Should we go after him, boss? The mutation worked, just like it did all those years ago.
Mutation? You mean like us? [GASPS] Could we be Part imitation crab? [LAUGHS] You are not kidding, are you? I'll deal with you next.
We can't let that sheep-horned weirdo do anything to that dog! But except for Donnie, we're out of weapons.
Note to you: Next time, make your weapons out of high-grade titanium.
Guys, who needs weapons? We're ninjas! Leo's got his mad skills, nobody flips better than Mikey, Donnie's got that big old brain, - and I got, uh - A friend who knows where there's a room full of weapons! Ah, thank goodness.
We were so dead.
[ROCK MUSIC] ALL: Ah! - No way! - Whoa! It's like if magic and science had a baby! Oh, yeah! - These'll do.
- Hey, yo, guys! How about we take the glow-y ones? Oh Oh, dibs on the sword! Oh, boy! Hot soup! Boom! Huh-ha! What about you, Donnie? Don't you want a glow-y weapon? No, I'm good.
I'll never let you go.
This looks interesting, though.
Oh, yeah! Let's go save that dog thingy! [DISQUIETING MUSIC] [LAUGHING] Finally, after all these years, I can continue my work.
[LOUD IMPACTS] - Yah! - Whoa! [LAUGHS] What? All right, you incredibly unusually buff bookworm, give us the little guy, and you'll walk out of here with your horns still attached.
Shouldn't we also stop him from creating crab-men? Good note.
Okay, give us the little guy, - stop creating crab-men - Imitation crabmen.
- [EXASPERATED SIGH] - Okay, good note.
Stop creating imitation crab-men And a ride home, and a limo with a hot tub and pizza! Stop creating imitation crab-men - and you'll walk out of here - You're beautiful.
Raph, why don't you take it from the top again? Here goes.
First, you apologize - to the dog thingy - Let's do this! April O'Neil! Oh, my gosh.
She just ran in.
[STRAINING, GRUNTING] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] I hate this! I hate this! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Gah! [OMINOUS MUSIC] - Whoa! - Oh, my gosh.
- Whoa, whoa.
- Dude, seriously? Ah! It looked at me! [ALL GROANING] [ROARS] This one's got a little spice.
Capture those specimens! Cowabunga! [ROCK MUSIC] Yah! [ROARS] Hot soup! Oof! Whoa! Whoa! No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
- Look out, guys! - Whoa! Whoa! Ha! Nailed it! Accidentally impressive.
With a little bit of training, you could be as formidable as I'd hoped.
[COUGHS] It's okay! I got this! Okay, well, great, and since you're surrendering [LAUGHS] Baron Draxum does not surrender.
Okay, well, when he get here, we'll deal with him oh, ho, ho, I see.
You're doing that whole "sinister talking in the third person" thing.
Only Raph can use the third person! All right, guys, time to put our training to use.
What training? You guys have been training? [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Cowabunga! ALL: Ha! Ah! [ALL YELL] - Ah, oof! - Ah! And that's why Baron Draxum Ooh! Oh.
I'm sorry, boss.
Ha! [GRUNTING] [COMICAL MUSIC] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Oof! - April! You did not just do that to our friend! Ha! Huh? [LAUGHS] Whoa.
Magic weapon Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Ooh! Oh! [YELLING, SCREAMING] [LAUGHS] Ah! Ooh! Oh.
Whoa! Mikey, that was awesome.
How'd you do that? I don't know, man.
I was just swinging my weapon, like this, and all of a sudden [LAUGHS] Just like that.
Let me try.
Magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon! Ah, yeah.
Magic weapon! Ooh! Ow.
Mine works, too.
Can't wait to find out what mine does! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Ya! Hm? [UNEASY LAUGH] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Ah! Get.
.
me.
.
off this ride! Whoa! And that's why I like fighting the old-fashioned way: with impossibly futuristic high-tech weaponry.
[GRUNTING] [ENERGETIC MUSIC] - Just like I planned it! - Look out! - Oof! - Ah! Oh! Ah! You fight like untrained buffoons, but under me, you could become true warriors! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] We don't spend enough quality time together.
Oh, please not now, Mikey.
How are we gonna save the dog thingy now? Donnie's on it.
[VISOR ALARM BLARING] Wait a second! Ah! Turtles, why are you trying to stop my plans? We are all in this together! Ah, hey, I don't know if this is part of your plan, but the lab's about to explode.
Aw, nuts.
[BUZZING] - [ALL YELLING] - Little guy! Can you do your thing and get us out of here? [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - [ALL YELL] - Ooh! Oh, no! Splinter's doohickey! Man.
Are you okay, boy? Or girl? You sure were good through all that mayhem.
Hey, mayhem! That's a cute name.
We just defeated a boss villain.
We're heroes! We deserve a name like Mad Dogs.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC] Mad dogs? You don't think something like Mutant Ninja Turtle Teens or I don't know.
Maybe we'll keep brainstorming.
- Huh? - Hm.
ALL: Oh! [OMINOUS MUSIC] Huh.
That can't be good.
We should go.
People's blinds are starting to open.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]