Roseanne s02e12 Episode Script
No Talking
YOU DON'T OWN THE WORLD, BUTT FACE.
IT'S MY ROOM, TOO! JUST WAIT TILL MOM GETS HOME.
Becky: I'M TREMBLING, DARLENE! HEY! WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA KICKING ME OUT OF MY OWN ROOM, AT LEAST GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT AND SNEAKERS.
HERE! AND MY BASKETBALL.
HERE! QUIT YELLING! I'M WATCHING GERALDO! YOU SHUT UP! OW! YOU'RE SUCH A BABY.
DAD, YOU'RE HOME! YEAH, SO ARE YOU! DAD, DARLENE THREW A SNEAKER AT ME.
DARLENE, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I KNOW.
I MISSED HIM.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE RUSHED THE THROW.
LOOK AT THIS MESS.
YOU BETTER GET THAT PICKED UP BEFORE YOUR MOM GETS HOME.
WHERE AM I GONNA PUT IT? I CAN'T GET IN MY ROOM.
WHY NOT? THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE LOCKED ME OUT.
BECKY, OPEN THAT DOOR.
AND BEFORE SHE LOCKED ME OUT, SHE PUSHED ME OUT OF THE ROOM.
I MEAN, IF I WASN'T SO ATHLETICALLY GIFTED, I MIGHT HAVE FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS.
HI, DAD.
BYE, DAD.
WHERE YOU GOING? OUT.
HEY, YOU BE HOME IN TIME FOR SUPPER! I THOUGHT SHE WAS GROUNDED.
DARLENE, NOW YOU GOT YOUR ROOM BACK.
NOW CLEAN THIS UP.
HI, BABE.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? GREAT.
SOME KID CALLED ME SIR.
I TOLD MY BOSS I'M NOT WEARING THAT HAT AGAIN.
DARLENE, WILL YOU HELP ME SET THE TABLE, PLEASE? IT'S NOT MY NIGHT.
IT'S BECKY'S NIGHT.
SHALL I CALL HER? YEAH, GET HER DOWN HERE.
BECKY! OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE'S OUT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S OUT? AS IN NOT HOME.
WORDS "AT THE MALL.
" I TOLD HER TO BE HOME BY SUPPER.
YOU LET HER GO? SHE'S GROUNDED, DAN.
SHE IS? YEAH.
WELL, I GUESS I'VE BEEN NAUGHTY.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
NO KIDDING.
SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF MY ROOM.
WELL, SHE IS ONLY HUMAN.
AND PRACTICALLY THREW ME DOWN THE STAIRS.
SEE, THAT'S WHY SHE'S GROUNDED-- 'CAUSE SHE'S ACTING AWFUL, AND HER ATTITUDE STINKS.
PLUS, SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE TO SET THE TABLE, AND IT IS HER NIGHT.
BUT I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT.
BECAUSE, HEY, WHATEVER'S GOOD FOR MY FAMILY IS GOOD FOR ME.
JUST SET THE TABLE, DARLENE.
SUCK UP.
IT'S 20 TO 7:00, DAN.
UH-HUH.
SAY, IS THERE ANY OF THAT, UM, BREAD? YES, THERE IS.
IS THAT YOUR SUBTLE WAY OF ASKING ME TO BRING YOU THE BREAD? SORRY, BABE.
DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SUBTLE.
MOM, YOU HAVE ANY MILK? NOT ANYMORE, BUT THERE'S SOME IN THE FRIDGE.
NICE, ELSIE.
WHY, IF IT ISN'T BECKY CONNER, LONG-LOST DAUGHTER OF DAN AND ROSEANNE CONNER.
HA HA.
SO KIND OF YOU TO JOIN US.
IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE DINNER? NO, THIS IS THE COCKTAIL HOUR BEFORE DINNER.
THESE BEANS ARE TOTALLY LIFELESS, MOTHER.
IF YOU'D STEAM THEM INSTEAD OF BOILING THEM, THEY MIGHT BE EDIBLE.
IS THERE A PROBLEM? NO.
WHERE WERE YOU, BECKY? HANGING OUT.
CHICKEN.
COMING AT YOU.
WELL, YOU WEREN'T HANGING OUT HERE, WHICH IS WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HANGING OUT 'CAUSE YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? LET'S SEE WHAT SHE'LL COME UP WITH NOW.
HA HA! I FORGOT, OK? I'M SORRY.
HEY, HOW ABOUT LOSING THE ATTITUDE, HUH? NOW, I ASKED YOU WHERE YOU WERE, AND I WANT AN ANSWER.
MOM'S WAITING, REBECCA.
BUTT OUT, DARLENE.
ANY ANSWER.
COME ON, LIE TO ME.
DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHERE I AM EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE? YES.
I WAS AT THE MALL, OK? I GOT OFF THE BUS, WALKED DIRECTLY INTO RODBELL'S, WHERE I MET DIANE AND SAMMI.
WE 3 STOOD NEAR THE ENTRANCE TO THEATERS, GOOFED ON SOME MALL COP NAMED RENALDO, SPLIT SOME FRIES, AND CAME HOME.
IS THAT SPECIFIC ENOUGH? WHO PAID FOR THE FRIES? NOW WATCH ME BE SPECIFIC.
THANKS TO THAT NASTY, SNOTTY ATTITUDE OF YOURS, YOU GET TO SPEND ANOTHER ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF 714 DELAWARE STREET.
YES.
YOU ARE NOT GONNA GROUND ME FOR ANOTHER-- YOU WANT TO PUSH IT FOR 2? YOU'RE SO WEAK.
HEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU LATELY-- HEY, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
HEY! YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR MOTHER.
YOU'RE BEING TOTALLY UNFAIR JUST 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR STINKIN' BEANS! WRONG.
I AM BEING TOTALLY UNFAIR BECAUSE THAT IS MY JOB! NOW YOU SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY.
I HATE YOU.
HEY! I SAY DISOWN HER.
HEY, GEEKY, WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A MOOD? YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S GETTING OLD.
DARLENE, WHO ASKED YOU? NO ONE ASKED ME.
I'M TELLING YOU.
YOU'RE REALLY HURTING MOM'S FEELINGS, BECKY.
NEXT TIME YOU SOUND OFF AT HER, I'M GONNA PUNCH YOUR FACE IN.
WHATEVER.
COME ON, PUDGE.
I'LL HIT YOU 3 TIMES BEFORE YOU EVEN TOUCH ME.
GO TO BED.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED.
DARLENE, GIVE ME BACK MY COVERS.
WHAT COVERS? OW! OW! OW! YOU REALLY THINK MOM'S UPSET? YOU KNOW SHE IS.
GOOD.
SHE DESERVES IT.
FOR WHAT, BUTT NOSE? FOR TREATING ME ALL THE TIME LIKE I'M A LITTLE KID.
I MEAN, SHE TREATS ME LIKE I'M YOUR AGE.
YEAH, BUT AT LEAST SHE LETS ME GO OUT.
YEAH, BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TELL HER WHERE YOU'RE GOING AND WHAT TIME YOU'LL BE BACK.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU EVER GET SICK OF THAT? THAT'S WHY YOU'RE BEING SO MEAN? I'M JUST TIRED OF HER RUNNING MY LIFE FOR ME.
DARLENE, I'M PACKING YOU TURKEY WITH NO MAYO, EXACTLY AS REQUESTED, AND I EXPECT YOU TO EAT IT.
BECKY, WE GOT BACON HERE.
I ALWAYS EAT MY LUNCH.
I DO EVERYTHING MY MOMMY SAYS.
I NEED SNACK MONEY.
OH, YEAH, I NEED MONEY FOR A NEW BUS CARD.
HOW ABOUT YOU, BECKY? I'M GIVING OUT CASH HERE.
YOU NEED SOME? MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS ASK.
OH, SOMEBODY'S STILL MAD AT ME.
NOT ME.
NO.
SO BECKY GUESS YOU WON'T BE GOING OUT WITH JIMMY THIS WEEKEND.
SHUT UP, DARLENE.
OW! HEY, DARLENE, KNOCK IT OFF AND GO TO SCHOOL.
IT'S OK.
I'M SURE THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS WHO WILL BE HAPPY TO GO OUT WITH HIM.
MAYBE EVEN A HOT-LOOKING SENIOR WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
IS THERE COFFEE? YEAH.
BECKY, WOULD YOU LIKE MORE JUICE? HEY, PRINCESS.
OH, SHE'S NOT TALKING, DAN.
IS THAT RIGHT? GOOD MORNING, DAD.
OH, I STAND CORRECTED.
SHE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
LOOKS LIKE.
SHE'S MAD AT ME.
LOOKS LIKE.
CAN I HAVE MY ALLOWANCE? IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU ON THE PAYROLL.
THANKS.
BECKY, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SILENT TREATMENT DOES TO ME, DON'T YOU? IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO TALK MORE.
IN FACT, IT MAKES ME WANT TO TALK CONSTANTLY UNTIL YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO-- SHE'S COMING AROUND.
LOOKS LIKE.
I WANT TO THANK YOU, DAN, FOR LETTING HER GO OUT AFTER I GROUNDED HER.
THAT WAY, I'M THE BAD GUY, AND YOU GET TO BE THE HERO AGAIN.
AW, COME ON, ROSEANNE.
SHE'S JUST TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF YOU.
IGNORE IT.
SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME FOR THE PAST MONTH.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? SHE'S HARDLY EVER HOME, AND WHEN SHE IS, SHE'S LOCKED UP IN HER ROOM.
SHE ONLY COMES DOWN TO YAK ON THE PHONE OR TO GIVE ME GRIEF.
GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST.
SHE'S ACTING LIKE A 14-YEAR-OLD.
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING THROUGH SOMETHING, AND SHE'S NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY BACKING OFF A LITTLE BIT? WELL, MAYBE I CAN PUMP DARLENE FOR SOME INFORMATION WHEN SHE COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL TODAY.
OH, MY GOD.
MY WORST FEARS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE.
SHE'S TURNED INTO HER MOTHER.
I HAVE NOT.
AND DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN.
OK, BEV.
HEY, HEY, I MEAN IT.
KIND OF TOUCHY, AREN'T YOU? SAY, YOUR MOM'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WAY, ISN'T SHE? YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEARTBURN.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
SAY, DOESN'T YOUR MOM GET HEARTBURN? BECKY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
BECKY, OPEN THIS DOOR.
BECKY? [LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
OPEN THE DOOR.
TURN THAT DOWN, BECKY.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU! BECKY, OPEN THE DOOR! BECKY, I'M GOING TO COUNT 5, AND IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, I'M GONNA GET THE SCREWDRIVER AND TAKE IT OFF THE HINGES.
I'M COUNTING NOW.
I'M COUNTING, BECKY.
YOU HEAR ME COUNTING? ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
FINE.
I'M SERIOUS, DAN.
WHERE'S THAT SCREWDRIVER? ROSEANNE, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES.
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
HEY, I COUNTED TO 5.
WELL, 6 ACTUALLY, 'CAUSE I DID 4 1/2.
WOULD YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELF? I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU THAN I AM ABOUT BECKY.
WELL, I'M WORRIED ABOUT ME, TOO.
SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! I TRIED JOKING WITH HER.
I TRIED YELLING AT HER.
I EVEN TRIED BEING REASONABLE, BUT SHE STILL WON'T SAY ONE WORD TO ME.
A REAL BATTLE FOR POWER.
YEAH, AND I'M LOSING.
HEY, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THAT DOOR OFF.
ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU GO UP AND YOU TALK TO HER.
THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND BECKY.
BRINGING ME INTO IT IS JUST GONNA MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
WHICH--WHICH I AM.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE NEUTRAL AS USUAL.
DAN SWITZERLAND CONNER.
YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED BECAUSE SHE STILL THINKS YOU'RE MR.
PERFECT.
DID SHE TELL YOU THAT? YOU'RE MAKING WAY TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF THIS.
YOU WATCH TOO MUCH OPRAH.
WHAT, DO YOU THINK SHE'S UP IN HER ROOM HAVING SEX WITH THE GUYS THAT TAKE DOWN THE TILT-A-WHIRL? THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG.
NOW, WHERE IS THAT DAMN SCREWDRIVER? IN THE GARAGE.
FINE.
YOU GONNA HELP ME TAKE THAT DOOR OFF OR NOT? NOT.
GOOD, THEN I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF.
GOOD.
AND IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME WITH YOUR OWN DAMN KIDS, THEN I DON'T HAVE ONE THING LEFT TO SAY TO YOU.
SO, DEEJ WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER YOU GOT TO TIMMY'S HOUSE? PLAYED IN HIS BASEMENT.
NOK-HOCKEY? YEP.
YOU CHEAT? YEP.
DID YOU BEAT HIM? YEP.
SEE? DARLENE, ASK YOUR FATHER TO PLEASE PASS ME THE TOAST.
FATHER, WILL YOU PASS THE TOAST TO MOTHER, PLEASE? TELL MOTHER I RECEIVED HER REQUEST, AND I'M SHIPPING THE TOAST OUT ON THE NEXT ARM.
WHY, THERE'S ONE LEAVING NOW.
D.
J.
: WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU GOT ME.
MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON? WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
CAN I PLAY? NO, YOU'RE TOO MATURE TO PLAY THIS GAME.
HOW COME IT'S SO QUIET? EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.
DAD, CAN I GO MEET DIANE AFTER BREAKFAST? DID YOU DO YOUR CHORES? MM-HMM.
GEE, DARLENE, I GUESS YOU'LL BE DOING THE DISHES FOR BECKY AGAIN SINCE SHE'S GOING OUT.
NO WAY! BECKY, YOU'RE NOT STICKING ME WITH THE DISHES AGAIN.
SO I'LL DO THEM WHEN I GET HOME.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU DO THEM BEFORE YOU LEAVE? 'CAUSE I CAN DO THEM WHEN I GET HOME.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? BECAUSE I SAID SO.
YOU'RE ONLY MAKING ME DO THEM BECAUSE SHE STUCK HER NOSE IN, AND YOU JUST ALWAYS DO WHATEVER SHE SAYS.
BECKY, I BELIEVE YOU'RE MISTAKEN ABOUT THAT.
AH, I CAN SEE THAT ROOM BECOMING MORE AND MORE MINE.
YOU ALWAYS BACK IN TO HER.
EVERYBODY DOES.
BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET HER.
SHE CAN'T CONTROL ME.
OH, YES, I CAN.
I AM YOUR MOTHER, AND WILL CONTROL YOU TILL THE DAY YOU DIE.
I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU! OH, YES, YOU WERE! JUST THEN, SHE WAS TALKING TO ME.
WASN'T SHE, DAN? YOU TALKING TO ME? THAT'S WHEN THE DOOR WOULD HAVE SLAMMED IF WE STILL HAD A DOOR.
STEVE THOUGHT THAT HAVING JULIA AROUND WOULD MAKE IT EASIER ON JOANNE BECAUSE JOANNE WORRIES SO MUCH ABOUT HIM BEING A COP.
BUT THEN, WHEN HE WAS SEEING THAT SWEDISH CHICK, SHE NEVER WORRIED AT ALL 'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW ICY THOSE NORDIC TYPES ARE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU GUYS DO ALL DAY? SIT THERE IN YOUR PATROL CAR AND DISCUSS YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS? HE'S MY PARTNER, ROSEANNE.
HE'S GOING THROUGH SOME ROUGH STUFF.
STEVE'S VERY TORN.
I WANT MY TAXES BACK.
UH-OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M CLEANING.
CLEANING? YEAH, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SNOOPING.
THE GIRLS WILL COME HOME TO AN ENTIRELY REORDERED ROOM AND NEVER QUITE KNOW IF ANYTHING WAS TOUCHED BECAUSE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING WAS TOUCHED.
MOM USED TO DO THAT.
I AM NOT SNOOPING.
I AM CLEANING.
AND I AM NOT MOM.
PLANNING ON CLEANING HER DIARY? I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
ROSEANNE, DON'T YOU-- REMEMBER WHEN MOM DID THAT TO YOU? GOOD FOR YOU.
I THOUGHT I HAD A HANDLE ON MY KIDS, BUT BECKY'S TURNED INTO A TOTAL STRANGER.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR CLUES, YOU KNOW? SO SHE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU.
BIG DEAL.
I DIDN'T TALK TO MOM FOR A MONTH.
YEAH, AND SHE WENT STARK RAVING MAD.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME TO DO IT.
SO, SEE? BECKY'S NO DIFFERENT THAN WE WERE.
YES, SHE IS, AND THE TIMES WE'RE LIVING IN ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
ANYWAYS, WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT? YOU'RE NOT EVEN A MOM.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA QUIT THROWING THAT UP TO ME? WHEN YOUR WATER BREAKS.
WILL YOU HELP ME FLIP THIS ONE? AHA! NOW THIS THIS IS BECKY'S DIARY.
YOU THINK THAT'S LIKE THE X-RATED VERSION? IF SHE'S HAVING ANY FUN AT ALL, IT IS.
OH, THANK YOU.
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S GOT WRITTEN IN THERE? STUFF SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE.
STUFF ABOUT YOU.
STUFF ABOUT SEX.
SAME STUFF YOU USED TO WRITE IN YOUR DIARY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I USED TO WRITE IN MY DIARY? BECAUSE I READ IT.
YOU DID NOT.
I DID, TOO.
AND I QUOTE-- "DEAR LORD, HELP ME STOP DOING YOU KNOW WHAT.
" WELL, I READ YOUR DIARY, TOO.
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
OH, I DID SO.
OH, YEAH? SO WHERE DID I KEEP IT? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I READ IT.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I KEPT IT.
AND I DIDN'T JUST READ IT.
MOM READ IT, TOO.
SHE USED TO COME IN THERE AND READ IT RIGHT OUT LOUD AND GO, "IS THIS TRUE? IS THIS TRUE?" MY SCARLET DIARY? UH-HUH.
I NEVER HAD A SCARLET DIARY! HA HA HA HA! OW! SO YOU GOING TO READ IT? I DON'T KNOW.
THEN I REALLY WOULD BE MOM.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
SHE'S 14, ROSEANNE.
ARE VILE, TESTY, SNARLING, SECRETIVE BEASTS.
BECKY'S PERFECTLY NORMAL.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER SOME PRIVACY.
YEAH WITH MOM, NOTHING WAS EVER SECRET.
SHE USED TO FORCE HER WAY IN, STEAL INFORMATION, AND USE IT AGAINST US.
BEVERLYGATE.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
WELL, HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART? READING YOUR DIARY.
CAN I COME IN? DINNER'S GONNA BE READY IN A FEW MINUTES.
OK.
WILL YOU GO SET THE TABLE FOR ME? I GUESS YOU WANT TO SIT UP HERE AND TALK TO YOURSELF.
GO.
GOING.
I'LL LEAVE IT OPEN.
I WAS IN HERE DOING SOME CLEANING TODAY, AND I CAME ACROSS YOUR DIARY.
WELL, DIARIES.
I DIDN'T READ IT, THOUGH.
I ALMOST DID, BUT THEN I THOUGHT, I DON'T WANT TO VIOLATE MY KIDS' PRIVACY THE WAY MY MOM VIOLATED MINE.
SO I PUT IT BACK UNDER THE MATTRESS.
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT, A PRIZE? THANKS, YOU JUST GAVE ME ONE.
YOU KNOW, I JUST GUESS I HOPED THAT ME AND YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP THAN I GOT WITH MY MOM.
SO HERE'S MY PEACE OFFERING.
YOU KNOW, I GUESS I DON'T UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, BUT THEN AGAIN, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I'M GOING THROUGH, EITHER.
SO I'M GIVING YOU BACK YOUR DOOR 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I'D WANT TO BE TREATED.
SO HERE'S YOUR DOOR.
YOU CAN KEEP IT CLOSED WHENEVER YOU WANT TO.
AND SOMETIMES, I HOPE YOU'LL OPEN IT UP AND LET ME IN.
BUT NO PRESSURE.
Darlene: WE CAN'T GO TO THE MOVIES 'CAUSE YOU'RE STILL GROUNDED.
NOT ANYMORE.
MOM LET ME OFF THE HOOK.
NO WAY.
I GOT OUR DOOR BACK, DIDN'T I? AND WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL.
THE OLD SILENT TREATMENT REALLY WORKED! TO PERFECTION.
AUNT JACKIE IS SO BRILLIANT.
MOM IS NEVER GOING TO PRY HER WAY INTO MY LIFE AGAIN.
SHE PROMISED.
WELL, YEAH, BUT NOW THAT SHE'S DONE HAUNTING YOU, I MEAN, WHO DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA GO AFTER? WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? TOO BAD.
BUT IT'S GONNA BE A LOT EASIER FOR YOU NOW THAT I'VE BROKEN THROUGH.
I MEAN, I HAVE GOT MOM EXACTLY WHERE I WANT HER.
HI, I WAS JUST CLEANING.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
IT'S MY ROOM, TOO! JUST WAIT TILL MOM GETS HOME.
Becky: I'M TREMBLING, DARLENE! HEY! WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA KICKING ME OUT OF MY OWN ROOM, AT LEAST GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT AND SNEAKERS.
HERE! AND MY BASKETBALL.
HERE! QUIT YELLING! I'M WATCHING GERALDO! YOU SHUT UP! OW! YOU'RE SUCH A BABY.
DAD, YOU'RE HOME! YEAH, SO ARE YOU! DAD, DARLENE THREW A SNEAKER AT ME.
DARLENE, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I KNOW.
I MISSED HIM.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE RUSHED THE THROW.
LOOK AT THIS MESS.
YOU BETTER GET THAT PICKED UP BEFORE YOUR MOM GETS HOME.
WHERE AM I GONNA PUT IT? I CAN'T GET IN MY ROOM.
WHY NOT? THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE LOCKED ME OUT.
BECKY, OPEN THAT DOOR.
AND BEFORE SHE LOCKED ME OUT, SHE PUSHED ME OUT OF THE ROOM.
I MEAN, IF I WASN'T SO ATHLETICALLY GIFTED, I MIGHT HAVE FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS.
HI, DAD.
BYE, DAD.
WHERE YOU GOING? OUT.
HEY, YOU BE HOME IN TIME FOR SUPPER! I THOUGHT SHE WAS GROUNDED.
DARLENE, NOW YOU GOT YOUR ROOM BACK.
NOW CLEAN THIS UP.
HI, BABE.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? GREAT.
SOME KID CALLED ME SIR.
I TOLD MY BOSS I'M NOT WEARING THAT HAT AGAIN.
DARLENE, WILL YOU HELP ME SET THE TABLE, PLEASE? IT'S NOT MY NIGHT.
IT'S BECKY'S NIGHT.
SHALL I CALL HER? YEAH, GET HER DOWN HERE.
BECKY! OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE'S OUT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S OUT? AS IN NOT HOME.
WORDS "AT THE MALL.
" I TOLD HER TO BE HOME BY SUPPER.
YOU LET HER GO? SHE'S GROUNDED, DAN.
SHE IS? YEAH.
WELL, I GUESS I'VE BEEN NAUGHTY.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
NO KIDDING.
SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF MY ROOM.
WELL, SHE IS ONLY HUMAN.
AND PRACTICALLY THREW ME DOWN THE STAIRS.
SEE, THAT'S WHY SHE'S GROUNDED-- 'CAUSE SHE'S ACTING AWFUL, AND HER ATTITUDE STINKS.
PLUS, SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE TO SET THE TABLE, AND IT IS HER NIGHT.
BUT I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT.
BECAUSE, HEY, WHATEVER'S GOOD FOR MY FAMILY IS GOOD FOR ME.
JUST SET THE TABLE, DARLENE.
SUCK UP.
IT'S 20 TO 7:00, DAN.
UH-HUH.
SAY, IS THERE ANY OF THAT, UM, BREAD? YES, THERE IS.
IS THAT YOUR SUBTLE WAY OF ASKING ME TO BRING YOU THE BREAD? SORRY, BABE.
DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SUBTLE.
MOM, YOU HAVE ANY MILK? NOT ANYMORE, BUT THERE'S SOME IN THE FRIDGE.
NICE, ELSIE.
WHY, IF IT ISN'T BECKY CONNER, LONG-LOST DAUGHTER OF DAN AND ROSEANNE CONNER.
HA HA.
SO KIND OF YOU TO JOIN US.
IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE DINNER? NO, THIS IS THE COCKTAIL HOUR BEFORE DINNER.
THESE BEANS ARE TOTALLY LIFELESS, MOTHER.
IF YOU'D STEAM THEM INSTEAD OF BOILING THEM, THEY MIGHT BE EDIBLE.
IS THERE A PROBLEM? NO.
WHERE WERE YOU, BECKY? HANGING OUT.
CHICKEN.
COMING AT YOU.
WELL, YOU WEREN'T HANGING OUT HERE, WHICH IS WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HANGING OUT 'CAUSE YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER? LET'S SEE WHAT SHE'LL COME UP WITH NOW.
HA HA! I FORGOT, OK? I'M SORRY.
HEY, HOW ABOUT LOSING THE ATTITUDE, HUH? NOW, I ASKED YOU WHERE YOU WERE, AND I WANT AN ANSWER.
MOM'S WAITING, REBECCA.
BUTT OUT, DARLENE.
ANY ANSWER.
COME ON, LIE TO ME.
DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHERE I AM EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE? YES.
I WAS AT THE MALL, OK? I GOT OFF THE BUS, WALKED DIRECTLY INTO RODBELL'S, WHERE I MET DIANE AND SAMMI.
WE 3 STOOD NEAR THE ENTRANCE TO THEATERS, GOOFED ON SOME MALL COP NAMED RENALDO, SPLIT SOME FRIES, AND CAME HOME.
IS THAT SPECIFIC ENOUGH? WHO PAID FOR THE FRIES? NOW WATCH ME BE SPECIFIC.
THANKS TO THAT NASTY, SNOTTY ATTITUDE OF YOURS, YOU GET TO SPEND ANOTHER ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF 714 DELAWARE STREET.
YES.
YOU ARE NOT GONNA GROUND ME FOR ANOTHER-- YOU WANT TO PUSH IT FOR 2? YOU'RE SO WEAK.
HEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU LATELY-- HEY, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
HEY! YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR MOTHER.
YOU'RE BEING TOTALLY UNFAIR JUST 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR STINKIN' BEANS! WRONG.
I AM BEING TOTALLY UNFAIR BECAUSE THAT IS MY JOB! NOW YOU SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY.
I HATE YOU.
HEY! I SAY DISOWN HER.
HEY, GEEKY, WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A MOOD? YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S GETTING OLD.
DARLENE, WHO ASKED YOU? NO ONE ASKED ME.
I'M TELLING YOU.
YOU'RE REALLY HURTING MOM'S FEELINGS, BECKY.
NEXT TIME YOU SOUND OFF AT HER, I'M GONNA PUNCH YOUR FACE IN.
WHATEVER.
COME ON, PUDGE.
I'LL HIT YOU 3 TIMES BEFORE YOU EVEN TOUCH ME.
GO TO BED.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED.
DARLENE, GIVE ME BACK MY COVERS.
WHAT COVERS? OW! OW! OW! YOU REALLY THINK MOM'S UPSET? YOU KNOW SHE IS.
GOOD.
SHE DESERVES IT.
FOR WHAT, BUTT NOSE? FOR TREATING ME ALL THE TIME LIKE I'M A LITTLE KID.
I MEAN, SHE TREATS ME LIKE I'M YOUR AGE.
YEAH, BUT AT LEAST SHE LETS ME GO OUT.
YEAH, BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TELL HER WHERE YOU'RE GOING AND WHAT TIME YOU'LL BE BACK.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU EVER GET SICK OF THAT? THAT'S WHY YOU'RE BEING SO MEAN? I'M JUST TIRED OF HER RUNNING MY LIFE FOR ME.
DARLENE, I'M PACKING YOU TURKEY WITH NO MAYO, EXACTLY AS REQUESTED, AND I EXPECT YOU TO EAT IT.
BECKY, WE GOT BACON HERE.
I ALWAYS EAT MY LUNCH.
I DO EVERYTHING MY MOMMY SAYS.
I NEED SNACK MONEY.
OH, YEAH, I NEED MONEY FOR A NEW BUS CARD.
HOW ABOUT YOU, BECKY? I'M GIVING OUT CASH HERE.
YOU NEED SOME? MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS ASK.
OH, SOMEBODY'S STILL MAD AT ME.
NOT ME.
NO.
SO BECKY GUESS YOU WON'T BE GOING OUT WITH JIMMY THIS WEEKEND.
SHUT UP, DARLENE.
OW! HEY, DARLENE, KNOCK IT OFF AND GO TO SCHOOL.
IT'S OK.
I'M SURE THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS WHO WILL BE HAPPY TO GO OUT WITH HIM.
MAYBE EVEN A HOT-LOOKING SENIOR WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
IS THERE COFFEE? YEAH.
BECKY, WOULD YOU LIKE MORE JUICE? HEY, PRINCESS.
OH, SHE'S NOT TALKING, DAN.
IS THAT RIGHT? GOOD MORNING, DAD.
OH, I STAND CORRECTED.
SHE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
LOOKS LIKE.
SHE'S MAD AT ME.
LOOKS LIKE.
CAN I HAVE MY ALLOWANCE? IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU ON THE PAYROLL.
THANKS.
BECKY, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SILENT TREATMENT DOES TO ME, DON'T YOU? IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO TALK MORE.
IN FACT, IT MAKES ME WANT TO TALK CONSTANTLY UNTIL YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO-- SHE'S COMING AROUND.
LOOKS LIKE.
I WANT TO THANK YOU, DAN, FOR LETTING HER GO OUT AFTER I GROUNDED HER.
THAT WAY, I'M THE BAD GUY, AND YOU GET TO BE THE HERO AGAIN.
AW, COME ON, ROSEANNE.
SHE'S JUST TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF YOU.
IGNORE IT.
SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME FOR THE PAST MONTH.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? SHE'S HARDLY EVER HOME, AND WHEN SHE IS, SHE'S LOCKED UP IN HER ROOM.
SHE ONLY COMES DOWN TO YAK ON THE PHONE OR TO GIVE ME GRIEF.
GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST.
SHE'S ACTING LIKE A 14-YEAR-OLD.
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING THROUGH SOMETHING, AND SHE'S NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY BACKING OFF A LITTLE BIT? WELL, MAYBE I CAN PUMP DARLENE FOR SOME INFORMATION WHEN SHE COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL TODAY.
OH, MY GOD.
MY WORST FEARS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE.
SHE'S TURNED INTO HER MOTHER.
I HAVE NOT.
AND DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN.
OK, BEV.
HEY, HEY, I MEAN IT.
KIND OF TOUCHY, AREN'T YOU? SAY, YOUR MOM'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WAY, ISN'T SHE? YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEARTBURN.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
SAY, DOESN'T YOUR MOM GET HEARTBURN? BECKY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
BECKY, OPEN THIS DOOR.
BECKY? [LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
OPEN THE DOOR.
TURN THAT DOWN, BECKY.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU! BECKY, OPEN THE DOOR! BECKY, I'M GOING TO COUNT 5, AND IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, I'M GONNA GET THE SCREWDRIVER AND TAKE IT OFF THE HINGES.
I'M COUNTING NOW.
I'M COUNTING, BECKY.
YOU HEAR ME COUNTING? ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
FINE.
I'M SERIOUS, DAN.
WHERE'S THAT SCREWDRIVER? ROSEANNE, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES.
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
HEY, I COUNTED TO 5.
WELL, 6 ACTUALLY, 'CAUSE I DID 4 1/2.
WOULD YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELF? I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU THAN I AM ABOUT BECKY.
WELL, I'M WORRIED ABOUT ME, TOO.
SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! I TRIED JOKING WITH HER.
I TRIED YELLING AT HER.
I EVEN TRIED BEING REASONABLE, BUT SHE STILL WON'T SAY ONE WORD TO ME.
A REAL BATTLE FOR POWER.
YEAH, AND I'M LOSING.
HEY, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THAT DOOR OFF.
ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU GO UP AND YOU TALK TO HER.
THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND BECKY.
BRINGING ME INTO IT IS JUST GONNA MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
WHICH--WHICH I AM.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE NEUTRAL AS USUAL.
DAN SWITZERLAND CONNER.
YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED BECAUSE SHE STILL THINKS YOU'RE MR.
PERFECT.
DID SHE TELL YOU THAT? YOU'RE MAKING WAY TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF THIS.
YOU WATCH TOO MUCH OPRAH.
WHAT, DO YOU THINK SHE'S UP IN HER ROOM HAVING SEX WITH THE GUYS THAT TAKE DOWN THE TILT-A-WHIRL? THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG.
NOW, WHERE IS THAT DAMN SCREWDRIVER? IN THE GARAGE.
FINE.
YOU GONNA HELP ME TAKE THAT DOOR OFF OR NOT? NOT.
GOOD, THEN I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF.
GOOD.
AND IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME WITH YOUR OWN DAMN KIDS, THEN I DON'T HAVE ONE THING LEFT TO SAY TO YOU.
SO, DEEJ WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER YOU GOT TO TIMMY'S HOUSE? PLAYED IN HIS BASEMENT.
NOK-HOCKEY? YEP.
YOU CHEAT? YEP.
DID YOU BEAT HIM? YEP.
SEE? DARLENE, ASK YOUR FATHER TO PLEASE PASS ME THE TOAST.
FATHER, WILL YOU PASS THE TOAST TO MOTHER, PLEASE? TELL MOTHER I RECEIVED HER REQUEST, AND I'M SHIPPING THE TOAST OUT ON THE NEXT ARM.
WHY, THERE'S ONE LEAVING NOW.
D.
J.
: WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU GOT ME.
MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON? WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
CAN I PLAY? NO, YOU'RE TOO MATURE TO PLAY THIS GAME.
HOW COME IT'S SO QUIET? EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.
DAD, CAN I GO MEET DIANE AFTER BREAKFAST? DID YOU DO YOUR CHORES? MM-HMM.
GEE, DARLENE, I GUESS YOU'LL BE DOING THE DISHES FOR BECKY AGAIN SINCE SHE'S GOING OUT.
NO WAY! BECKY, YOU'RE NOT STICKING ME WITH THE DISHES AGAIN.
SO I'LL DO THEM WHEN I GET HOME.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU DO THEM BEFORE YOU LEAVE? 'CAUSE I CAN DO THEM WHEN I GET HOME.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? BECAUSE I SAID SO.
YOU'RE ONLY MAKING ME DO THEM BECAUSE SHE STUCK HER NOSE IN, AND YOU JUST ALWAYS DO WHATEVER SHE SAYS.
BECKY, I BELIEVE YOU'RE MISTAKEN ABOUT THAT.
AH, I CAN SEE THAT ROOM BECOMING MORE AND MORE MINE.
YOU ALWAYS BACK IN TO HER.
EVERYBODY DOES.
BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET HER.
SHE CAN'T CONTROL ME.
OH, YES, I CAN.
I AM YOUR MOTHER, AND WILL CONTROL YOU TILL THE DAY YOU DIE.
I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU! OH, YES, YOU WERE! JUST THEN, SHE WAS TALKING TO ME.
WASN'T SHE, DAN? YOU TALKING TO ME? THAT'S WHEN THE DOOR WOULD HAVE SLAMMED IF WE STILL HAD A DOOR.
STEVE THOUGHT THAT HAVING JULIA AROUND WOULD MAKE IT EASIER ON JOANNE BECAUSE JOANNE WORRIES SO MUCH ABOUT HIM BEING A COP.
BUT THEN, WHEN HE WAS SEEING THAT SWEDISH CHICK, SHE NEVER WORRIED AT ALL 'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW ICY THOSE NORDIC TYPES ARE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU GUYS DO ALL DAY? SIT THERE IN YOUR PATROL CAR AND DISCUSS YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS? HE'S MY PARTNER, ROSEANNE.
HE'S GOING THROUGH SOME ROUGH STUFF.
STEVE'S VERY TORN.
I WANT MY TAXES BACK.
UH-OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M CLEANING.
CLEANING? YEAH, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SNOOPING.
THE GIRLS WILL COME HOME TO AN ENTIRELY REORDERED ROOM AND NEVER QUITE KNOW IF ANYTHING WAS TOUCHED BECAUSE CLEARLY, EVERYTHING WAS TOUCHED.
MOM USED TO DO THAT.
I AM NOT SNOOPING.
I AM CLEANING.
AND I AM NOT MOM.
PLANNING ON CLEANING HER DIARY? I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
ROSEANNE, DON'T YOU-- REMEMBER WHEN MOM DID THAT TO YOU? GOOD FOR YOU.
I THOUGHT I HAD A HANDLE ON MY KIDS, BUT BECKY'S TURNED INTO A TOTAL STRANGER.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR CLUES, YOU KNOW? SO SHE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU.
BIG DEAL.
I DIDN'T TALK TO MOM FOR A MONTH.
YEAH, AND SHE WENT STARK RAVING MAD.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME TO DO IT.
SO, SEE? BECKY'S NO DIFFERENT THAN WE WERE.
YES, SHE IS, AND THE TIMES WE'RE LIVING IN ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
ANYWAYS, WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT? YOU'RE NOT EVEN A MOM.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA QUIT THROWING THAT UP TO ME? WHEN YOUR WATER BREAKS.
WILL YOU HELP ME FLIP THIS ONE? AHA! NOW THIS THIS IS BECKY'S DIARY.
YOU THINK THAT'S LIKE THE X-RATED VERSION? IF SHE'S HAVING ANY FUN AT ALL, IT IS.
OH, THANK YOU.
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S GOT WRITTEN IN THERE? STUFF SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE.
STUFF ABOUT YOU.
STUFF ABOUT SEX.
SAME STUFF YOU USED TO WRITE IN YOUR DIARY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I USED TO WRITE IN MY DIARY? BECAUSE I READ IT.
YOU DID NOT.
I DID, TOO.
AND I QUOTE-- "DEAR LORD, HELP ME STOP DOING YOU KNOW WHAT.
" WELL, I READ YOUR DIARY, TOO.
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
OH, I DID SO.
OH, YEAH? SO WHERE DID I KEEP IT? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I READ IT.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I KEPT IT.
AND I DIDN'T JUST READ IT.
MOM READ IT, TOO.
SHE USED TO COME IN THERE AND READ IT RIGHT OUT LOUD AND GO, "IS THIS TRUE? IS THIS TRUE?" MY SCARLET DIARY? UH-HUH.
I NEVER HAD A SCARLET DIARY! HA HA HA HA! OW! SO YOU GOING TO READ IT? I DON'T KNOW.
THEN I REALLY WOULD BE MOM.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
SHE'S 14, ROSEANNE.
ARE VILE, TESTY, SNARLING, SECRETIVE BEASTS.
BECKY'S PERFECTLY NORMAL.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER SOME PRIVACY.
YEAH WITH MOM, NOTHING WAS EVER SECRET.
SHE USED TO FORCE HER WAY IN, STEAL INFORMATION, AND USE IT AGAINST US.
BEVERLYGATE.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
WELL, HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART? READING YOUR DIARY.
CAN I COME IN? DINNER'S GONNA BE READY IN A FEW MINUTES.
OK.
WILL YOU GO SET THE TABLE FOR ME? I GUESS YOU WANT TO SIT UP HERE AND TALK TO YOURSELF.
GO.
GOING.
I'LL LEAVE IT OPEN.
I WAS IN HERE DOING SOME CLEANING TODAY, AND I CAME ACROSS YOUR DIARY.
WELL, DIARIES.
I DIDN'T READ IT, THOUGH.
I ALMOST DID, BUT THEN I THOUGHT, I DON'T WANT TO VIOLATE MY KIDS' PRIVACY THE WAY MY MOM VIOLATED MINE.
SO I PUT IT BACK UNDER THE MATTRESS.
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT, A PRIZE? THANKS, YOU JUST GAVE ME ONE.
YOU KNOW, I JUST GUESS I HOPED THAT ME AND YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP THAN I GOT WITH MY MOM.
SO HERE'S MY PEACE OFFERING.
YOU KNOW, I GUESS I DON'T UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, BUT THEN AGAIN, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I'M GOING THROUGH, EITHER.
SO I'M GIVING YOU BACK YOUR DOOR 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I'D WANT TO BE TREATED.
SO HERE'S YOUR DOOR.
YOU CAN KEEP IT CLOSED WHENEVER YOU WANT TO.
AND SOMETIMES, I HOPE YOU'LL OPEN IT UP AND LET ME IN.
BUT NO PRESSURE.
Darlene: WE CAN'T GO TO THE MOVIES 'CAUSE YOU'RE STILL GROUNDED.
NOT ANYMORE.
MOM LET ME OFF THE HOOK.
NO WAY.
I GOT OUR DOOR BACK, DIDN'T I? AND WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL.
THE OLD SILENT TREATMENT REALLY WORKED! TO PERFECTION.
AUNT JACKIE IS SO BRILLIANT.
MOM IS NEVER GOING TO PRY HER WAY INTO MY LIFE AGAIN.
SHE PROMISED.
WELL, YEAH, BUT NOW THAT SHE'S DONE HAUNTING YOU, I MEAN, WHO DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA GO AFTER? WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? TOO BAD.
BUT IT'S GONNA BE A LOT EASIER FOR YOU NOW THAT I'VE BROKEN THROUGH.
I MEAN, I HAVE GOT MOM EXACTLY WHERE I WANT HER.
HI, I WAS JUST CLEANING.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL