Rosehaven (2016) s03e07 Episode Script

Season 3, Episode 7

1 [SIGHS] [SIGHS] What have you got on today? Um just work.
Me too.
Hey, we should go to that new seafood restaurant in Launceston.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Coffee? Oh, sorry.
Yep, never mind.
[SIGHS] Hey, uh what's the weather today? Oh.
Uh Oh, I can look.
- No, it's fine.
I - No, no, just being lazy.
Sorry.
Um 10 degrees, no rain.
Oh, good.
Same as mine.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR] - BOTH: I'll get it.
I'm already up, so Good morning.
What are you doing here? Why are you wearing glasses? I don't want to miss anything during your inspection.
My what? You said I had to stay on top of rental inspections.
Yeah.
Well, you've been renting here for three months and it's time for your first inspection.
I did notify you about this in writing.
Yeah, I thought it was a joke.
- I take my job very seriously, sir.
- "Sir"? - May I come in, please? - No, no, no.
No need.
I inspect this place every day and it's great.
Perfect tenants.
As you know, a tenant cannot inspect their own property.
Only the property manager or the landlord.
Can't have you inspecting yourself, now, can we? That is revolting.
OK, if you're gonna do this, I expect you to be professional.
I want you to treat us like you would any other tenants and, above all, respect our privacy.
Of course.
To the medicine cabinet! Yeah, we know Even if we had so far to go Even if the pace is slow Well, I'll be coming home to you again If we find Something to feel that we belong If we could right all the wrongs Well, I'll be coming home to you again.
Hmm.
No bribe cakes out for me.
Strike two.
What was strike one? - Oh, hey, Emma.
- Hi, Grace.
I didn't know you wore glasses.
She doesn't.
Where'd you get them from? - Chemist.
- She's inspecting us.
- Oh, I thought she was joking.
- I did too.
Excuse me, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to be quiet during the inspection.
Now, this window.
Was it always like this? - Like what? - Closed.
It's been both open and closed.
Great question, though.
I'd better take a look.
Look, I know you're loving this, but could you get on with it so we can get to work? Sir, I am at work.
Now, I'm gonna have to ask you a few questions.
Uh, do you have an illegal marijuana factory in any of the cupboards? No.
How many times a day do you dust? - 12.
- Minus a point for lying.
This couch how often do you sit on it? - Sir? - It's a couch.
A lot.
- [INHALES SHARPLY] Ooh.
- I'm not allowed to sit on the couch? I would perch above it, maintaining the furniture's condition whilst simultaneously improving my core strength.
OK.
I will now do an inspection of your personalities.
You: perfect.
You: needs work.
Yeah, we're done.
Maybe I'll come and inspect your place.
Good luck.
Barbara's an owner-occupier, boy.
And when I get my rental, Mrs.
Marsh is gonna do my inspections, because she can't see very well.
Are you actually thinking of moving out? Well, Barbara's been dropping hints about having the place to herself by saying things like she wants the place to herself.
Well, when were you thinking of moving? I don't know.
I can't afford it just yet.
But soon.
Now, these throw pillows - You could move in here.
- We have a spare room.
What? Well - I mean, only if you want to.
- Yeah, no no pressure.
I mean, it'd just be for a bit.
I'm getting my own place soon.
A mansion, probably.
Are you sure you wouldn't mind? - No.
- It's fine! - No, no, no.
- OK.
That'd be great.
Alright, well, that's settled, then.
We should get to work.
I need to finish the inspection.
Well, you can't.
You're a tenant now.
Dammit! I'm worried Barbara will be really upset when I tell her I'm moving out.
She said she wanted the place to herself.
Yeah, but when the reality hits her that I'm going? If she cries, I'll cry.
Maybe you should prepare yourself for how fine she is with it.
Pfft! We're like family now.
Well, I'm her family, and she loved when I moved out.
It's different.
We're like sisters.
She has a sister and they don't get along.
- Well, I'm like her - Employee.
Tenant.
Person who lives with her friend's mum like a weirdo.
Yeah.
That's a lot to lose in one go.
[DOOR OPENS] Barbara, I've got something to tell you.
Yes? Maybe you should sit down.
Or you could lean.
OK.
I'm gonna move in with Grace and Daniel until I get my own place.
Yes, it's the end of an era That's great.
I know you're gonna miss me! - She's being so brave.
- Very.
Are you sure it's not gonna be weird, me moving in with you and your girlfriend? No, no.
I mean, no weirder than you living with my mum.
- It'll be good.
- [SHOP BELL CHIMES] MAN: Hello.
Hi.
Welcome to McCallum Real Estate.
I'm Emma.
What can I do for you? I have a block of land I'm looking to sell.
Right.
How many bedrooms? Kidding.
What was your name, sorry, sir? - Um I'm Lionel.
- Nice to meet you.
Um, if you'd like to take a seat over here, I'll get some information from you and we'll get Actually, Daniel, can I just have a quick chat with you, please? - Uh, sure.
One moment, sorry.
- Just a quick chat.
- Thank you.
- OK.
What are you doing? We needed to have a secret chat, and this looks more official.
30 seconds.
- Thanks.
- What's happening? Do you mind if I take the lead on this one? You want to sell the land solo? - Are you sure? - Yeah.
I need to start earning more cash money if I'm gonna get my mansion, and this seems like a great place to start, from the ground up.
- Do you get it? - Yes, because it's land? [BARBARA CLEARS THROAT] Seeing as you barged into my office, can I have an opinion? - Sure.
- I think it's a good idea.
I mean, yeah, fine with me.
Here to help if you need.
Great.
I'm gonna need the company car.
- My car? - Yeah.
That's 30 seconds.
Get out.
Yep.
- Wow! - [CHUCKLES] You think so? Yeah! Look at all this grass.
These trees.
How long have you had it? Not long at all.
It was my dad's, but he passed away recently and left it to me.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't even know he owned it.
We worked together, but we didn't talk very much.
It was always too noisy.
Noisy? What did you do? You both DJs? Owls.
- What? - Owls.
- Owls? - Yeah.
He ran a sanctuary for Tasmanian masked owls.
I've helped him out for the last oh, gosh, 25 years now.
- Wow! How great! - Not really.
He was a very intimidating man, and the only thing that scared me more than him was the Tasmanian masked owls.
- Oh.
- I think they hated me.
Those eyes.
I love animals, but over 20 years of owls staring at you And the sound they made, this - [SCREECHES] - OK.
OK.
Are you OK? Come back Come back to me.
There's no owls.
You're OK.
There's no owls here.
Wow.
Gee.
So, you don't have to look after them by yourself, do you? No, no.
Parks and Wildlife manage them now, thank God.
Finally, I can do what I want for once.
Like what? Uh [SIGHS] Oh it's embarrassing.
You can tell me.
I want to release a Christmas rap album.
It's like rap music, but also wrapping Christmas presents at Wrapping and rap Anyway, my point is, I'm not gonna judge anyone.
I wanna go to Perth and see a quokka.
A what? A quokka.
Haven't you seen them on the internet? Oh! They are the happiest animal in the world.
Always smiling.
Um There.
Their main habitat is this island off the coast of Perth, and they're going extinct, but I just want to see one! Aww! - They're so happy! - They're beautiful.
I am gonna get you all the money.
You are going to see a quokka.
Any chance there's oil under here? Well, just hide them from me, please.
My willpower only works if I can't find them.
That's not willpower.
Just don't eat my chips.
Well, I won't if you hide them, or if you buy salt and vinegar.
I mean, I'll still eat them, but I won't eat the whole packet.
Ugh.
- Then why would you eat any of them? - They're still chips.
Hang on.
What are you doing? Just in case Grace is home.
What is happening? We don't use plastic bags.
It's fine.
They're reusable.
Yes, but I already have a bunch of reusable bags.
I forgot to bring them.
OK.
Hello? [KNOCKS] Alright, we're clear.
Can you get the keys out of my pocket? - No! - Relax.
My jacket pocket.
[GASPS] Ugh! Is that a snotty tissue?! I'm sorry, I forgot that was in there.
I'm gonna burn my hand off! No, no, it's dry-clean only! Don't! Don't! I don't think Grace would get mad at you for buying more bags.
Probably not.
She might be disappointed.
She's not your mum.
You don't have to walk around like you're gonna get told off.
[SIGHS] Yeah, I know.
It's just It's my first relationship, first time living together.
I don't really know what I'm doing.
I feel like I have to be on guard the whole time.
OK, what's going on? Stop unpacking! This conversation's too serious for me to have with the back of your head.
I have these doubts that it's not right or something.
Or that it could be more right, or that I'm making it not right.
I just I'm overthinking it.
A lot.
That's OK.
You do that sometimes.
But you love Grace, right? Yeah, I do, and I feel bad I'm even having these thoughts.
I just I wish I'd had more experience dating before we met, just so I'd know what was normal.
- Have you talked to her about it? - No.
I'm still trying to sort it out in my own head.
Maybe you should be high-fiving yourself that you got such a great relationship on your first try.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
[FRONT DOOR OPENS] - Are you serious? - Shh! OK.
I'm unpacked.
It's official.
I put a bunch of clothes in your wardrobe.
I had to throw out some of your things.
And I tried on most of your underpants.
- It'll be nice having you here.
- Agreed.
I don't want to freeload off you guys, so let me know how much you want for rent and bills.
And how much was dinner tonight? Oh, Em, it's fine.
We'll sort it out later.
- Who wants a cup of tea? - Yes, please.
- Lemon and ginger for me.
- Em? Yes.
- What type? - Guess.
Uh brushing teeth.
Toothpaste.
Mint - Oh, peppermint! - Yes! Was it hard telling Barbara you're moving out? She put on a brave face.
Hey.
You didn't notice a vibe at all over dinner, did you? - Hmm? - Everything seemed normal? Yeah.
I mean, we ate broccoli even though none of our parents are here.
- But yeah.
Why? - It's nothing.
OK.
Sometimes it feels like we've run out of things to talk about.
- Who, us? - No, Dan and I.
Well, you spend a lot of time together.
- That's pretty normal, right? - I know.
We've just been together so long, it feels like I don't know how it's supposed to feel at this point.
I mean, everyone's different.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not unhappy.
Tea.
Thanks.
Thank you.
I put toothpaste in it.
- So - Yeah? - Last night was fun.
- Yeah.
Grace and I really like having you around.
Hey, when you're with us, do we seem OK, I'm just gonna say this out loud and I want you to answer as honestly as possible.
Sounds dramatic.
Yeah.
Did you ask me to move in so I could see if your relationship is normal? What? No! No.
- No? - No! Really? You needed a place to stay, we had a spare room.
And that's it? Yeah.
That's it.
I mean, I didn't plan it, but now that you're there, I value your opinion - Oh, my God! - You're overthinking it.
Am I? Whenever I'm alone with either of you, I feel like I'm getting quizzed about your relationship.
- It's weird! - Did Grace say something? - What'd she say? - No.
See? This is what I mean.
If you need to talk to her, you talk to her.
- I don't want to be in the middle.
- You're not.
We've just been alone together for a while and it's nice having someone else in the house who might notice things I might not.
I know I'm great company, but you know most couples get a dog or a kid at this point? Not a flatmate.
- What else do other couples do - No! The ad for Lionel's land has been up for ages! Why hasn't anyone been in touch yet? It's only been one day.
You have to be patient.
I have been patient.
Right up until right now.
I put more photos up too.
More? It's just grass, right? Yeah, but people might be more likely to buy grass at sunset.
Can you look at it again? It's good.
Hang on.
Did you add, "There might be gold under it"? There might.
- Delete it.
- Oh! You don't know anything about marketing sizzle.
I think your enthusiasm is great, but these things can be up for weeks sometimes.
- I remember Mum had one - [DING!] Oh, my God! Shut up! I got an email from the council.
They would like to make an offer! - How much? - Doesn't matter.
We're selling it.
- How much? - Get out of it.
It's my listing.
It's my listing.
Get out of it! - 110 grand? - Yeah? - The reserve price is 120.
- Close enough.
No, it has to be over.
And remember, this is the same council that charged me to replace a slab of concrete that I'd already had changed.
Now they're trying to lowball us? Not gonna happen.
But they want to buy it now.
And I need to get my own place so I can stop being some weird relationship referee.
You can get a lot more for Lionel.
And a much better commission for yourself.
Fine.
But Lionel can't wait forever.
He's old, and quokkas are going extinct, so it's a race against two clocks.
He's not that old.
Be patient.
Now what? Keep doing it.
Hey How's being patient going? Good.
But I was thinking, what if instead of being patient, I was proactive? Still a P word.
- What did you do? - Nothing.
One thing.
- What? - I called your mum's sister.
Jenny? Aunty Jenny? - The liar who lied to me? - Yes.
Lied point-blank to my face that I had council approval and got me a massive fine instead? - That Jenny? - Yes.
Why? - She's a liar with money.
- Oh! She got all that money for nothing when Barbara sold the family home, and she grew up here, so I thought she might be keen to invest in her home town, and she is.
Is Mum OK with this? Did you ask her? Well no, but Jenny might not make an offer, so there's nothing to tell.
Until I show her the land.
Which is now.
Em, we can't trust her.
And I don't want us going into business with people we can't trust.
I'm sorry to do this, but I forbid it.
You forbid it? Yep.
Sorry, I didn't take any joy in doing that, but I think it's for the best.
What a shame it's my listing and I can do what I want.
I'm gonna need the company car again.
- Well, you can't have it.
- I never gave you the key back.
Bye! Hang on! So it's just come on the market? That's right.
And we've already had some interest.
It'd be lovely to own a piece of my home town.
Again.
But it's a big decision.
It's a huge decision.
Too big.
No.
I mean, what could be simpler? Money from Rosehaven going back into Rosehaven? It's poetic.
It would be, wouldn't it? I don't know.
Be nice to spend more time down here.
With Babs.
I agree.
And I think she'd really like that too.
Pfft! Sorry.
Daniel has allergies.
Let me give Henry a call.
What is your problem? I'm trying to get my first sale.
I'm trying to stop you getting ripped off.
- How's she gonna rip us off? - I don't know.
- I haven't worked it out yet.
- Pfft! Well, Mum's gonna be furious when she finds out.
It could be a good thing for them to heal.
Be sisters again.
- I think that's a huge call.
- Well, that's what I do now.
I make calls and I close deals.
You're not gonna close any deals if you deal with someone like her.
Alright.
I think I'll make an offer.
- Great! - [LAUGHS] You won't regret it.
Good call.
Uh - OK.
- Yes? So, to make your offer, you will specify how much you are willing to pay and any conditions that you would like to attach to the offer, such as um Such as? Such as - Daniel? - I'm busy.
Excuse me for a second.
Can I talk to you please? I know you don't like what I'm doing, but this is my listing, so can you help me, please? What are the conditions? Hurry up! She might change her mind.
I don't remember.
- Fine, you don't know.
- Of course I do.
- It's settlement period and deposit.
- Thank you.
- Wait.
- Oh, God.
Barbara's here.
I called her.
- You dobbed on me? - Well, Mum's our boss, so if you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to her.
Did she sound mad? - She said, "Right.
I'm coming.
" - In a mad way? Well, she always sounds mad, so, yeah.
Hello, Babs.
Jen.
I heard you're interested in some land.
Yes, but she hasn't made an offer yet.
It's a bit of perfect timing.
I was thinking about how to use the money from the sale when Emma called.
I heard.
I don't remember who called who.
I've had a look at it.
I like it.
But I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Me too.
I think it's a good investment.
Location's great, and it's fairly valued.
I think so too.
And it'll give me a reason to get back here more often.
- Yeah.
- That's all? Yeah, is that all? Yeah.
I'll leave you to it.
Shall we make this official? - I think so.
- Mmm! OK, settlement period and deposit I can't believe she made an offer and Mum just let it happen.
- I can't decide how to tell Lionel.
- [RINGING TONE] Well, you just tell him.
This should be a special moment.
It is.
Just pass on the information.
LIONEL: Hello? Lionel, it's Emma.
So, that, uh, other offer we were chasing? - Yeah.
- It just came in.
Right.
What was it? It was 100 bucks and a goat.
What? And I was like, "You get out of here with that crap offer.
"That's no good.
What's your real offer?" And they said, "30 grand.
" Uh, what? Plus 100.
It was 130 grand! What?! Well, that - that's amazing! - So great! We'll get the paperwork started.
Congratulations! And thanks again for choosing McCallum Real Estate.
Oh! Who's that? - Uh, it's Daniel.
- Who? Daniel.
I was here when you first came in.
It doesn't matter.
OK, uh, bye, Lionel! Congratulations again! - Thank you! Bye! - Bye.
So, he was happy with the offer, then? I'm sorry I called Jenny without asking you No, it's fine.
Getting the best price for our clients is the priority.
How are you OK with this? Aunty Jenny must be planning some long con or something.
Not everything Jen does is to trick people.
Could be it's time we tried a bit harder to get along.
Good work, Emma.
Thank you.
I just I can't believe you didn't get in trouble today.
I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive.
It's just It's like you walked through a minefield and found buried treasure.
Do you want to touch my hand for good luck? Yes.
At least you got to call the council and tell them they lost.
Yeah, that was fun.
I like to think they could tell I was doing this towards the speakerphone the whole time.
What are we doing for dinner? Uh, Grace and I are having spaghetti and you are having something I found in the bin.
- Was the bin full of spaghetti? - No.
I can make myself scarce if you guys need to chat.
I don't know.
Do we? Look, you've both got stuff on your mind, and the way to deal with that is to talk.
[KNOCK AT DOOR] - Why is she knocking? - Must need a hand with the groceries.
- That sounds like a boyfriend job.
- Help, or no dessert.
- Is my dessert also from the bin? - Yes.
Olive? What did you do? When? I just got a call from Marge from the council saying you won't sell them the land off Gipps Road.
Yeah? So? So it's true? - Uh, it is.
- I closed the deal today.
The council were buying it to turn it into a park for the town.
And paying for it.
We've been campaigning for it for years.
And finally, some land came up in the right spot and the right price, and you go and sell it to someone else.
- We got a better offer.
- So it's "we" now? Good for you.
You just cost the town a park.
Olive, it's our job to get the best price we can for our clients.
We didn't know about a park.
Because you don't come to the Neighbourhood Watch meetings.
I don't think people will be upset at us for doing our job.
Not yet.
What do you mean? Right now, I'm the only one who knows.
But once it's an appropriate time tomorrow morning to call people there will be a storm coming your way that you can't even imagine.
Daniel really took the lead on this one You haven't seen fury like a town that was about to get something it wants for free and it's taken away from them.
Sleep well.
[HORN BLARES] - Thanks a lot! - Oh! We didn't know the council were trying to build a park, OK? We were just trying to get the most amount of money for our client.
Rosehaven doesn't even have a fast food chain yet.
WOMAN: Traitors! - Uh, Daniel McCallum.
- I'm boycotting you! There must be some way we can make it up to you.
Give us our park back.
Oh, my God.
I've got an idea.
You know, I don't think she actually wanted us to sleep well.
I don't think anyone has ever slept well after being told [MENACINGLY] "Sleep well.
" Anything sounds threatening in that voice.
"See you soon!" "Night-night!" "Nice car.
" "Your shoelace is undone.
" GRACE: Hey, where did all these bags come from? - Oh, they're mine.
- Oh.
OK.
I'll put them in your room.
"You're a good friend.
" "I know.
"