Royal Pains s02e11 Episode Script
Big Whoops
ADMlNlSTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die to save some kid off the street.
l made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
EVAN: This trip is going to get you back on your feet.
HANK: What trip? EVAN: To the Hamptons.
l'm raising money for a local free clinic.
You want HankMed to run your clinic? l want to work this out.
l want the clinic at Hamptons Heritage so that we can help more people.
HANK: I went to Dad's house the other day, and I found Shadow Pond letterhead.
So? What if he threw your birthday party to steal the letterhead? Boris operates at a level Let's just say it's beyond your reach.
Eddie R.
Lawson.
l know exactly who you are.
EVAN: What do you make of Emily? HANK: I'm still feeling her out.
Dr.
Emily Peck faxed over a request for Jake's records.
What? This is war.
She's coming after us.
Henry.
Get up.
E.
S.
M.
right now.
Emily Peck has crossed a serious line.
Hello.
You've reached the voicemail of Divya Katdare.
Please leave a message.
(BEEPS) All right.
So, you know how l check the HankMed website traffic every Monday morning? So, l type HankMed.
com into my browser, and (BEEPS) Press one to continue.
Press two to You're kidding me.
So, l typed YankMed.
com by accident.
All right? l get redirected to none other than DoctorEmilyPeck.
com.
Yeah.
Same exact thing happens when l type in HankMe, HankMess, Hunkmed.
She purchased web addresses to play on our name.
So, we've got to come up with a serious cyber retaliation plan to deal with this succubus.
This (BEEPS) Press one to (SlGHlNG) Succubus.
Really? Yes.
lt's a highly attractive seductress or enchantress.
A female demon who ruins men.
Oh.
Okay.
Awkward, isn't it? (STAMMERlNG) Well, define awkward.
What you're feeling right now? Hank? She's re-directing our clients and potential clients to her website.
What? Uh ls that true? lt is true that l hired a web designer to create and host my new website.
But nothing he's doing is illegal.
l wouldn't allow that.
She wouldn't allow that.
Wait.
What the What What is she doing in our house uninvited? Uh Why aren't you asking her that? What the hell is going on right now? This And do not tell me We'll talk about this later.
Are you sleeping with the enemy? lt's pronounced Emily.
See you later, Hank.
Okay.
House call.
We'll talk later.
Oh.
Uh What's an E.
S.
M.
, anyway? lt's an Emergency Staff Meeting.
Tell Divya it's canceled.
Miss Lim, l think my search for the perfect replacement is over.
You are, without a doubt, the most qualified applicant for this job.
Ms.
Katdare, l feel so honored.
Please, call me Divya.
Of course, you'll still have to interview with Dr.
Lawson and his brother, Evan.
Absolutely.
l understand they are as professional and discreet as you are.
Oh, indeed, they are.
l assure you, Miss Lim, HankMed is about medicine, not gossip.
EVAN: Divya! There you are.
Evan.
Uh, wow.
We were just talking about you.
l would like to introduce you Some other time.
l'm sorry.
l'm sure you're a lovely friend or wedding planner, cake baker, whatever you are.
This is just an emergency.
Okay? Dr.
Peck? She's shafting us.
And, yes, it is in the way you think.
Okay.
You know what? Uh, Evan, l think that this should wait No.
lt can't wait.
Because not only is she bonking the boss, the succubus is also trying to steal our clients.
ls that a cruller? Should l go? No.
Yes, yes, yes.
Miss Lim, wait.
Divya, can you focus? We need a plan.
What we need to do is to continue to stay out of Hank's personal life.
Goodbye, Alice! We'll be in touch! You already knew about Emily and Hank, Divya? Divya? Divya? Why did you not tell me? For the same reason that l am not going to talk about it now.
lt is not my business.
What is my business is finding a replacement for me before l leave.
Which, l fear, you have completely screwed up.
(SlGHS) Chopper's going down! Chopper's going down! Now, move forward! Punch forward, men! Punch forward! Flank on the left! (SHOOTlNG) Wait.
You said his mother made the appointment? STANLEY: No, your left! Yeah, she called me.
Watch your head.
Go, go, go, go, go! Watch for the sniper! What? What? What? No, Daniel, tell your mother you'll do your homework later.
So? Algebra is easy.
This is war! Uh Stanley.
Men, retreat! Retreat! (SHOOTlNG) (GROANlNG ON SCREEN) Oh Over.
lt's over.
Are you Jill Casey and Hank Lawson from the Hamptons Family Clinic? Yes, we are.
lt's nice to meet you, Stanley.
We hear that you're not feeling well? Roger that.
Big time.
We're sorry to hear that.
We can see that your troops really need you.
Four months ago, l caught a cold.
So, l took a Z-Pak.
The cold went away.
A week later, the cold came back.
Two months later, l caught another cold.
l took more antibiotics, and a few weeks later, l got sick again.
All right.
Tell me if any of this hurts.
Please.
Last week, l was a POW for six months.
Ahh! A little bit.
Three weeks ago, l was sick again.
Lower back pain, fever, the nausea.
Same story.
Stanley, are you taking care of yourself? Do you exercise? Well, l l do those stairs once a day.
Once going up, then l come down.
Sometimes, l go back up.
So, l'll be in touch as soon as we get your blood work back from the lab.
Then, we should have a better idea what's going on with you.
Okay.
All l need now is your signature for our clinic files.
Okay.
And, l, uh l have something for you.
Something wrong? lt's a cease and desist order from Dr.
Blair and the rest of the Board.
What? Hank, we just got served.
They've closed our clinic.
What You're a process server? lt's my day job.
The good news is that l l really am sick.
Oh.
Huh.
DlVYA: l can't believe that the clinic was shut down.
HANK: Hopefully, not for long.
Jill's all over it, wants us to stay focused on our patients.
DlVYA: Which explains why you've sent Stanley's blood work to the lab.
HANK: Yeah, well, some part of him had to get out of that basement.
Remind me again who we're seeing? DlVYA: The Phillips Family.
Ted Phillips sold his successful energy water company around a year ago.
He's been traveling around the world with his wife and kids ever since.
He is in the Hamptons to pick up his father to join them on the rest of their trip.
(RlNGS DOORBELL) Thanks again for coming on such short notice.
Kids? Teddy.
Grace.
Please say hello to our guests.
Bonjour.
Nihao.
Hai! (CHUCKLlNG) Show-offs.
Start packing, guys! Seventy-one hours until we're airborne again.
Yes.
And this is my husband, Ted.
Barely landed, and he's already trying to launch a new business.
lngestible sunscreen.
HANK: Oh.
Honey.
This is HankMed.
We'll be back from Russia by the end of the month, right? Next month.
Your family time contract doesn't end until then.
Uh, guys, it's great to meet you.
l'm confused, though.
Who here needs a doctor? Um We're all very healthy.
Well, there was the Delhi Belly week in lndia.
lt hit all of us.
Yeah, that was rough.
And then, Teddy broke his toe at Machu Picchu.
And l stepped on a sea urchin in the Maldives.
Yes.
But other than that, we're all fine.
(CHUCKLlNG) lt's my dad we're worried about.
He's had this smoker's cough since before l was born, but he's gotten much worse.
Yeah, his father swears he's fine, but we need to make sure.
Especially before we leave the U.
S.
We're happy to take a look.
All righty.
Well, thank you.
Uh, he's through here.
Good luck.
Yeah.
You're going to need it.
Now, come on, Maddie.
You know the difference between femur and fibula.
Use what's in your cranium.
(COUGHlNG) Oh, you two, don't just stand there staring.
Get in here.
HARRlSON: Femur.
MADDlE: Femur.
HARRlSON: Mmm-hmm.
Fibula.
MADDlE: Fibbian.
HARRlSON: Fibula.
Uh Harrison Phillips.
(STUTTERlNG) Father of Arthroscopy and the Phillip's Suture.
Yeah.
Femur.
Femur.
Fibula.
Fibula.
Excellent.
Emily's outflanked us in sponsored links, too.
So, now, we face a possible bidding war over whose business name comes first when anyone searches for Hamptons concierge medicine.
(SPUTTERlNG) All right.
Tell me the truth.
What? Should l keep these? Yeah, they look good on you.
And of course, Hank's ignoring the fact that she's trading on our name to generate business for herself because he's sleeping with her.
(SPUTTERlNG) He's sleeping with her.
Really? You know, l do think these look great.
But the price (EXCLAlMlNG) And who the hell is Alexander Wang, anyway? He's a well-known designer.
Dad, have you heard anything l just said? Or is it just impossible for you to process anything negative about Hank at all? l hear every word you're saying.
You're worried.
You're upset.
You're nervous about losing HankMed.
(SlGHlNG) Okay.
l understand that.
You've worked hard to get your new life.
But, and this is a really big but Evan, are you listening? You're letting your emotions get in the way.
Have you forgotten the Lawson Family Motto? ''Don't complain about the problem.
Fix it''? Exactly.
And l think l can help you.
l've got a guy.
He can make this situation go away like that.
(SNAPS FlNGERS) Really? Mmm-hmm.
How? What do you mean, how? He can whack her.
(WHlSPERlNG) Are you out of your mind? l don't want to kill her, Dad.
Kill her? What are you talking about, kill her? You said No, no, no.
He's good at getting inside those websites, you know? Oh, my God.
You meant He meant hack her.
He's He's out of touch.
Okay.
All right.
Whatever you young people say, he can do.
Right? He's a computer genius.
He's a disgruntled ex-Google employee.
And he can, uh, deal with Emily's threat.
Listen.
You know what? l've got to go.
Okay.
Tell me how much he costs and let me know.
We'll figure it out later.
All right.
Bye, Dad.
Oh, wait.
Dad.
Pop.
Hey, Dad.
Dad.
(PUMPlNG) So, when were you diagnosed with COPD? l prefer to call it emphysema.
lt sounds dirty.
Smoky.
Appropriate.
Lean forward, please.
(COUGHlNG) Sixteen years ago.
His blood pressure is 198 over 93.
Breathe in and out for me, please? (RASPlNG) How much did you smoke? Two packs a day.
Unfiltered.
l gave them up six months ago.
You let your girl ask a patient questions? Breathe again, please.
Uh, the name is Divya.
And l'm not his girl.
l'm his Physician Assistant.
And we'd both like you to make this trip with your family.
Oh, l'm going to go.
(SCOFFlNG) You don't say no to my daughter-in-law.
This whole globe-trotting adventure was her idea.
Uh, l'd like to update your albuterol.
Uh, add on a steroid inhaler and low-dose prednisone.
What else? Lasix to help your congestive heart failure, and lisinopril to control your blood pressure.
Well, what about theophylline? My Manhattan internist used to prescribe it.
Then, he stopped.
Uh, for good reason.
Yeah, hardly anyone prescribes that anymore.
Seizures, tremors, nausea, vomiting Yeah, l'm well aware of all the side effects.
Thank you.
But l haven't had any.
And it's the one medication that used to make me feel better.
l feel confident with my recommendations.
lf you want, l can bring in a pulmonologist to consult.
That's the best idea l've heard all day.
(CLEARlNG THROAT) (PHONES RlNGlNG) How soon will we get the results? Are there any other pulmonologists on the registry that might be available? Anyone at all? That's in hundreds, not thousands, right? Yes.
Yes, l can make that work.
Fantastic.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So, the lab will have Stanley's test results by 8:00 a.
m.
tomorrow.
You? Every pulmonologist in the tristate area is apparently booked or on vacation.
ls he still in a snit about Emily? No.
l'm not in a snit.
l'm not that juvenile.
Happy to hear that.
Because it turns out there is one other specialist who's available.
Emily.
Emily Peck? Yep.
She did a fellowship in pulmonary medicine.
Did you know the Latin origin of her name is rival? l didn't, either.
l just looked it up.
Working with her is a horrible idea.
Just going to say it.
Just going to say it.
She won't be working with me.
She'll be working under me.
Oh, oh.
Don't even go there.
And only until Dr.
Phillips is feeling better, so let's not make this the drama it's not.
lt's a great idea.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want me to call her? No, it's okay.
l can handle this.
Okay.
Are you out of your mind? What are you doing? We're not trying to push them together.
We're trying to pull them apart, Divya.
And that will happen.
Naturally.
How do you figure that? Once Hank gets a chance to work with her closely, l mean, he can't help but see Emily for the up-selling, elbow-rubbing anti-Hank that she truly is.
lt's devious.
Mmm.
lt's risky.
No.
l know from experience.
Trust me, Evan.
Putting them together is definitely going to pull them apart.
High frigging five.
Now, that is juvenile.
Uh l will follow you around all day like this.
Okay.
Thank you.
Stanley, the, uh, war-mongering process server, has a white count at around Could be a hot appy.
Okay.
l'm on it.
l will find out if the pain has migrated.
Mr.
Russell.
Hi, this is Divya Katdare.
l work with Hank.
STANLEY: Oh, my God! I think I'm dying! Okay, Mr.
Russell, l need you to hang up and call 91 1 .
Do you understand? Help me! Stanley.
Stanley, are you there? Hey.
l'm sorry.
l was just taking enemy fire, I'm fine.
Although, my stomach does kind of bug.
Okay.
You need to get to a hospital right away.
l can't.
My mom doesn't get home until 4:00, so l don't have a car.
We will send someone to take you to Hamptons Heritage.
He'll be there shortly, okay? Message received.
Over and out.
But our appointment was for 9:00.
Well, she arrived about an hour ago.
That woman knows how to schmooze.
To repair chondromalacia of the retropatellar cartilage, a small incision is arthroscopically made to You stop me if l need to explain any of these words, blondie.
Oh, please.
l pay good money to look half as smart as l am.
The fluid gets injected into the joint.
Then, the injury can Enjoying the Surgery Channel? Hello, Dr.
Lawson.
Hello.
Divya.
Mmm.
We were just looking at a video of my first arthroscopic procedure.
ls that Betamax? Welcome to 1980.
Dr.
Peck has kindly offered to transfer all of my surgeries to DVD.
Well, that is kind of her.
You should see these tapes, Hank.
They are amazing.
Yes.
As is the fact that with three doctors in the room, and one of them wheezing, no one's made a move for the albuterol.
Oh, l hate that junk.
lt makes me jittery.
He won't take it more than once every three hours, despite my advice.
Right.
But the current practice is to administer as needed.
(WHlSPERlNG) l think l'm in trouble.
No, you're not in trouble.
HANK: ls that cigar yours? Dr.
Peck has approved of the occasional draw.
Has she now? May l speak with you in private, Dr.
Peck? Now, you're in trouble.
Thank you.
For a patient with emphysema, no amount of smoking is acceptable.
He's an egomaniac who is stuck in his ways.
You know what doctors are like.
He's sick.
He can't afford to be non-compliant.
l agree.
But he is never going to respond to being told what to do.
You have to find achievable improvements.
Well, we're not going to find them by letting our patient dictate how we take care of him.
(PHONE BEEPlNG) Hello? How's the plan going? lt seems to be working.
How are you? Uh, did you get Stanley? Yeah, we're at Hamptons Heritage right now.
l've seen deli counters move faster, by the way.
How are you doing? Yeah.
Are you winning? Yeah.
Tell me again why we're being so nice to this guy? Because he's sick, and he needs help.
So you and Hank are working with our competition, I am now the unpaid chauffeur for Stanley, the subterranean cyber-soldier who's trying to kill our clinic.
Okay.
Let me call you back.
(COUGHlNG) (COUGHlNG HARD) Jill? Evan.
Hi.
You have to help me.
Okay.
And open? No.
No fever.
When did Maddie start coughing? Last night.
But she didn't have a fever, so we weren't too concerned.
She's been fine all morning.
lt's true, l'm okay.
(COUGHlNG) Mostly.
Maddie, l think your cough is related to your grandfather's cough.
Last time l checked, emphysema wasn't contagious.
You sure you didn't get your medical degree on the lnternet? Dad.
(COUGHlNG) No, you're right.
You couldn't have given Maddie emphysema.
But you could have given her pneumonia.
An X-ray will confirm this for both of you, but l think you should start a course of antibiotics.
Dr.
Phillips.
Will you go first? His name is Stanley Russell.
He was a clinic patient.
The last one before it was closed.
He's right over here.
Miss Casey, you do realize the injunction wasn't personal.
Of course.
No offense taken.
But unfortunately, uh, my biggest and most committed donor, Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz, was not as understanding.
Really? l didn't realize he was one of your benefactors.
Oh, yes.
He doesn't just donate here at the hospital, he also anonymously gave to the clinic.
Although, l don't know how silent he's going to be now.
When l told him that the clinic was closed indefinitely, he was furious.
But, like you said, it's not personal.
l'm sure he'll realize that, too.
Stanley, this is Dr.
Blair.
Hi.
Doctor, he's got a hot appy.
White count's 13,000 with a left shift.
Are you a doctor? No, no, no.
l am related to one, though.
Just to be clear, though, appy means appendix, not an appetizer, right? Yes.
Okay.
So, hot means infected, not oven-baked? Who are you? Uh, l'm l'm Ahh! lt's your appendix all right, Mr.
Russell.
We need to get you in surgery now, before it bursts.
Surgery? JlLL: That's exactly what Hank said.
Nurse Stephens? Just like that? Wait.
You can't Just like that.
Please don't let me die.
l won't.
They're going to help you, okay? Stanley, you're going to be fine.
Okay? No, l'm talking to Evan.
My life is in your hands now.
Oh, your life.
l got it.
Yeah.
You're okay.
Okay.
Okay, come on.
Let's go, guys.
Your life is in good hands.
Be a soldier.
STANLEY: Okay.
l mean it.
(WAR CRY) (SCREAMlNG FROM VlDEO GAME) Um, Jill You're talking to Boris? That's genius.
l didn't talk to Boris.
What? l was bluffing, Evan.
That's even genius-er.
That's High five.
What is wrong with people? Hi.
After he vomited, he started shaking and he hasn't stopped.
ls this related to the pneumonia? Let's find out.
Hi.
Damn it, Lynn.
l told you.
l'm l'm just fine.
(GASPlNG) (MACHlNE BEEPlNG) l came as soon as l got your message.
He's in multifocal atrial tachycardia.
His heart rate's that fast? lrregular, too.
Which makes no sense considering the meds he's been taking.
Well, except it can occur with theophylline.
Yeah, but he's not on that.
Yeah, he is.
l gave it to him.
Nausea.
Acute.
Consistent.
Hank, l had him on a low dose of theophylline.
l have no idea how his reaction is so big.
Doctor, that dose didn't do anything.
l helped myself to some extra.
Oh.
l've got the Actidose.
Okay.
How did he get theophylline? What, did he self-prescribe? He didn't prescribe it.
l did.
Dr.
Peck, you can take off.
Divya will assist with the gastric dialysis.
Hank, l'm not going anywhere.
Not until Dr.
Phillips is stable.
We should get him to Hamptons Heritage or call the EMT's.
l can handle it, now that l know what's going on.
Should we intubate? lntubate? Guys? Guys, let's just calm down.
Okay.
You're right.
Uh, we can handle his difficulty breathing with steroids and albuterol.
Good.
Why don't you prep the nebulizer? Okay.
Divya, let's place the nasogastric tube.
Not on my naso, you're not.
We will nebulize by facemask, which will anesthetize your nose and throat and make this much more comfortable.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Numb me.
Let's just get this the hell over with.
Okay.
Dr.
Peck, please turn it.
(STEADY BREATHlNG) Okay.
(GRUNTlNG) Swallow.
Swallow.
Good.
Okay.
Good.
Mask on? Mask on.
His O2 sat is not improving.
We have him on max beta-2 agonists.
l can barely hear breath sounds because of his bronchospasm.
Okay.
Try lV magnesium.
Two grams over 20 minutes.
Okay.
(SlGHlNG) Looks like he's out of danger.
Dr.
Phillips.
Hi.
How are you feeling? Huh.
Any shot at a cigar? You're funny.
Hmm.
How about some breakfast? Hello? Dad! Excuse me.
Do not talk to me about keeping promises.
And, yes, l can close a deal.
l'll keep my end of the bargain.
Don't you worry.
You know what? l have to call you back.
Are you kidding me with this? Huh? How did you This is insane.
Yeah, isn't it? Ev? You have to call me before you just pop over.
l did.
l called you twice.
lt just rang through.
Ah.
l just got this contraption.
lt's a 500-dollar piece of art.
You know what? You can't even answer a phone call.
l can teach you how to use it.
lt's got two lines.
You know what? Another time would be perfect.
All right.
So, l came to return these bad boys.
You left them on the table after all that.
Thank you.
And Oh, so comfortable.
Mmm.
l came to thank you for hacking Emily.
l'm very glad it worked out.
lt so did.
But wait.
There's more.
lf you act now, for one low price, you can have public humiliation, as well.
Check this out.
Hmm? So, if you search for her website, it redirects you to this piece of genius.
Like, how did he even find that? Well, that's what he does.
Oh! This is like heaven.
You all right? Actually, l'm dealing with some major work issues.
Really? Anything l can help with? No.
l l got incompetence, impatience, impertinence.
l've got idiots.
ldiots all around, Evan.
Well, don't complain about the problem.
Fix it.
Hey.
Huh? l'm That's exactly what l'm going to do.
Listen.
Drive safely.
Okay.
And thanks for coming.
Um, cool.
Okay.
Who should l make the check out to? You know what? Call me old fashioned.
l like cash.
How is it looking? Both Maddie's and your test results are negative.
l don't have pneumonia.
You did good, Dr.
Lawson.
Well, coming from you, that's high praise.
Look.
Now that we've bonded, (SHORT CHUCKLE) what are the chances of a brief encounter with one of my lonely cigars? Hmm? The chances of that are slim to none, and slim just left town.
l'm sorry.
Okay.
Then, how about a favor instead? Convince Ted they should complete their adventure without me.
What What Why do you need me to tell him that? Because he'll say no to me.
And he won't to me? Not when you tell him l'll be able to join them in three days.
Yeah, but you won't be Which is why you want me to tell him.
l will not be the reason Ted and Lynn don't get to finish their adventure.
My son works his tail off.
He's got limited time with his family.
lt's important to him.
To them.
To me.
How about this? l'll tell Ted that you're hoping to join them.
That's good enough for me.
Okay, then.
l'd like to talk with you.
Sure.
Your father's doing well.
He should never have been as sick as he was in the first place.
Mr.
Phillips.
Your father overdosed on a medicine, theophylline.
lt was prescribed, but not taken as directed.
You have every right to be upset.
Yeah, you're right.
l do.
l would be furious if something like that happened to my father.
Uh But with theophylline, the line between toxic and safe is a thin one.
What matters is that Dr.
Phillips is stable.
The meds are out of his system, and l think we can all say that this will never happen again.
l'm sorry it did.
l want to go see my father.
EVAN: Long night? Ah.
Let me guess, actually.
You were sleeping with the Emily again, weren't you? Okay.
l won't be ignored, Henry.
Okay? All right.
We're going to talk about this.
Okay.
Start talking.
l'm going to catch up on some e-mails.
Okay.
l'm to illustrate.
On one hand, we have We have you, Hank, of HankMed.
Okay? On the other hand, we have Emily.
The succubus.
So, HankMed over here.
The competition over here.
Uh, which hand is the succubus hand? Okay.
l'm familiar with the expression, ''Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
'' Okay? You're taking it way too literally.
So, let me illustrate again.
That was the last one.
(CRlES OUT) This is what we do to our competition.
Okay? We crush like a bug.
Ahh! All right.
That was wonderfully illustrated.
Really.
That was poignant.
Are you done? Okay.
Good.
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) Emily is not trying to bring HankMed down.
Okay? Are you You don't need to worry.
Look.
we're just We're having fun together.
That's all it is.
Well, good luck opening it.
Hello.
Good morning.
Have you seen Dr.
Phillips already? No.
l was waiting for both of you.
Oh.
Okay, let's go.
You hear that? Well, l don't hear anything.
Exactly.
The vagabonds have left for the airport.
(COUGHlNG HEAVlLY) Dr.
Phillips, when did your cough start up again? To be honest with you, it never went away.
That's odd.
Have you been taking your antibiotics? Exactly as directed.
Well, you should be feeling better.
Yeah, well, you tell that to my lungs.
That rash is petechial.
Mmm-hmm.
DlVYA: And with paroxysms.
There's only one thing it could be.
Hello! ls it my father? Your father's okay.
Divya's with him.
We tried your cell.
What is it? What's the matter? We think Maddie is sick.
What? What do you mean, sick? Could you pull her shirt back? What is that? How did you know that was there? Maddie has a highly contagious disease.
Whooping cough.
And so does your father.
And you guys may have it, too.
Eddie R.
Lawson, where are you? Your extra hot cap is now a room temperature cap, Pops.
And it's dropping fast.
Pop, if you can't figure out the call waiting on your phone, there's two buttons.
They're at the bottom of the phone.
Ugh, never mind.
l'm l'm here.
l'm still here at Eden's Garden.
(WHEEDLlNG) l l l have your money.
So Oh, my God.
You got out of the hospital so fast.
Thanks to you.
You know, my appendix would have exploded like nitroglycerine.
(CHUCKLlNG) Kaboom! Don't stop on my account.
l mean, you're going to kill your avatar, dude.
l'm this close to getting the insurgents.
They need to take a break, anyway.
Listen, uh Can l buy you a nice cup of joe? And l want to apologize for having to serve you guys.
Okay? lt's the worst part of my job.
Dude, you're a process server.
That is your job, right? Well, l still hate doing it.
You hate it? Why do you do it? l get to meet people.
And believe it or not, social interaction hasn't always come easy for me.
Mmm.
Plus, l get to make my own hours.
And with the economy the way it is, l Triple latte for Felix? Right here.
Right here.
l'm coming.
Hostile detected.
Time to move.
Wait.
Who, that guy? No way.
What did he do? That's on a need to know.
And l don't need to know.
l just follow orders.
Right.
Stanley, if you hate your job, why don't you just get a new job? l don't want to sound preachy.
l just l Recently, l did.
So, hating your job is no way to live life, man.
For you or your avatar.
And you've got to look out for him, too, right? You know, you'd be a great platoon leader.
Great platoon leader.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
Do you want to Okay.
Um, maybe l'll run into you in cyberspace sometime.
Yeah, well, if you do, you watch your six.
All right.
You watch your seven.
l said you watch your six.
Hey, Felix! Okay.
There you go.
So, Doc.
How's the old man doing? Better.
Much better.
lt's a good thing you stuck around long enough to see his rash.
Now, there's a sentence you just don't hear very often.
(ALL CHUCKLlNG) l am curious how Maddie got whooping cough and the other kids didn't.
Well, Teddy and Grace were immunized.
But when Maddie was born, there was a lot of controversy over immunizations.
So, we decided to err on the side of caution.
Right.
Why ask a doctor? And Dr.
Phillips was susceptible because Because l've outlived my immunization.
Another wonderful by-product of growing older.
But how did Maddie get it in the first place? She could have easily picked it up on one of your off-the-beaten-path adventures.
So, when do you think she'll be well enough to travel? At least six weeks.
l'm afraid your family trip is going to have to wait.
Of course it will.
We'll continue our adventure here.
All of us together.
lt should be a great adventure.
lt was a pleasure.
A pleasure here, blondie.
Take care.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
Doctor.
Doctor.
l've got something for you.
l'm about to give you some of my most prized possessions.
Well, uh Yeah, but you can't smoke them.
(ALL LAUGHlNG) True.
True.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Take care, Hank.
Will do.
Take care.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Don't smoke them all at once.
All right, there? Thank you.
You must not think l'm a very good doctor.
We have different methods.
Which means you don't think l'm a very good doctor.
Look.
You were the pulmonologist l brought in, and you did something l completely disagree with.
Look, Hank.
lf l had known how you felt about the theophylline, l would never have prescribed it.
Right.
Well, you could have talked to me about it first.
l'm sorry.
Look, you screwed up.
You know that.
The important thing is, Dr.
Phillips is okay.
No thanks to me.
You are hard on yourself.
Yeah, well, if l'm going to hold others to high standards, the least l can do is expect the same of myself.
Let me cook you dinner.
Distract you.
l didn't know you can cook.
l can't.
That's why it will distract you.
As appetizing as that sounds, l've got to get up early in the morning.
l have a flight to catch.
To where? San Diego.
Self-exile? Worse.
Family.
Oh.
Okay.
lt's only for a few days.
l'm overdue a visit so they can hound me about why l'm not married.
l'll save you the airfare.
Why aren't you married? Maybe l haven't met the right guy.
Well, when you do, tell him l say hello.
l'll do that.
Oh.
Tell Evan l want a truce on the digital warfare.
l have no idea what that means, and l'm thinking that's a good thing.
Whoa! (LAUGHlNG) Now, l am sure that's a good thing.
He plays dirty, and l like it.
And that's why you became employee of the month.
(CHUCKLlNG) Jill.
Do you have a minute? Sure.
l just want to let you know that Hamptons Heritage is dropping its lawsuit.
You are? They are? While we believe that the clinic should be run through the hospital, l also know that patient care is always the most important thing.
Always.
Well.
We agree on that.
Dr.
Blair, thank you.
Really.
And l just wanted to say l appreciate you coming here to tell me this yourself.
Unfortunately, my top candidate has reconsidered joining HankMed.
She seemed uptight.
Kind of like you.
Okay, guys.
Are there any other options? Actually, there is one.
Emily Peck.
Yes, that's a good idea.
That's true.
l'm surprised l didn't think of that.
That's, uh That's You know, l heard, Jack Kevorkian got out of prison.
So, he's available.
Having another doctor, one with complete autonomy, would give HankMed more bandwidth.
And, as an employee, she would no longer be competition.
Okay, Hank, would you tell her how insane she is? l've got to say, it's not a bad idea.
lt's not? No.
Yes, it is.
lt's a terrible idea.
Divya, you traitor.
What happened to elbow-rubbing, up-selling, and anti-Hank? Anti-what? What are you guys l changed my mind.
Oh.
Oh.
Actually, Emily did.
Yeah, she does that.
Huh.
Uh, Evan? (SPORTS COMMENTATOR CHATTERlNG ON TV) Come on.
Hey, kiddo.
Hey.
Evan here? No, he's out with Paige.
l think he's got something for me.
He'll be back soon.
Yeah? Mmm-hmm.
Will you just tell him l was here? Okay.
You can wait, if you want.
You sure? Yeah.
Thanks.
Sure.
You want a beer? You kidding? Thanks.
Yep.
This is like old times.
You and me, on a couch.
Watching our team lose.
(CHUCKLlNG) Boris.
lt's been a long time.
You wanted to see me? lt seems that being an anonymous donor to your clinic no longer guarantees anonymity.
Someone said something.
Ms.
Casey, if l desired anyone to know about my involvement, l would have told them myself.
l wanted Dr.
Blair to know how much the clinic meant to you.
Well, you crossed a line.
l'm sorry.
l didn't realize l cannot afford to have my privacy jeopardized.
Not by you, not by HankMed, not by anyone.
Especially not now.
Okay.
lt won't happen again.
l can assure you it won't.
You can let yourself out.
HARRlSON: The patient was a 42-year-old What the hell? with a diagnosis of chondromalacia patella.
All right, Eddie, good job.
This is good.
Thanks.
What? What do you mean? Well, the letterhead, with the signature (lNAUDlBLE) Forget it, Eddie.
Thank you.
l made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
EVAN: This trip is going to get you back on your feet.
HANK: What trip? EVAN: To the Hamptons.
l'm raising money for a local free clinic.
You want HankMed to run your clinic? l want to work this out.
l want the clinic at Hamptons Heritage so that we can help more people.
HANK: I went to Dad's house the other day, and I found Shadow Pond letterhead.
So? What if he threw your birthday party to steal the letterhead? Boris operates at a level Let's just say it's beyond your reach.
Eddie R.
Lawson.
l know exactly who you are.
EVAN: What do you make of Emily? HANK: I'm still feeling her out.
Dr.
Emily Peck faxed over a request for Jake's records.
What? This is war.
She's coming after us.
Henry.
Get up.
E.
S.
M.
right now.
Emily Peck has crossed a serious line.
Hello.
You've reached the voicemail of Divya Katdare.
Please leave a message.
(BEEPS) All right.
So, you know how l check the HankMed website traffic every Monday morning? So, l type HankMed.
com into my browser, and (BEEPS) Press one to continue.
Press two to You're kidding me.
So, l typed YankMed.
com by accident.
All right? l get redirected to none other than DoctorEmilyPeck.
com.
Yeah.
Same exact thing happens when l type in HankMe, HankMess, Hunkmed.
She purchased web addresses to play on our name.
So, we've got to come up with a serious cyber retaliation plan to deal with this succubus.
This (BEEPS) Press one to (SlGHlNG) Succubus.
Really? Yes.
lt's a highly attractive seductress or enchantress.
A female demon who ruins men.
Oh.
Okay.
Awkward, isn't it? (STAMMERlNG) Well, define awkward.
What you're feeling right now? Hank? She's re-directing our clients and potential clients to her website.
What? Uh ls that true? lt is true that l hired a web designer to create and host my new website.
But nothing he's doing is illegal.
l wouldn't allow that.
She wouldn't allow that.
Wait.
What the What What is she doing in our house uninvited? Uh Why aren't you asking her that? What the hell is going on right now? This And do not tell me We'll talk about this later.
Are you sleeping with the enemy? lt's pronounced Emily.
See you later, Hank.
Okay.
House call.
We'll talk later.
Oh.
Uh What's an E.
S.
M.
, anyway? lt's an Emergency Staff Meeting.
Tell Divya it's canceled.
Miss Lim, l think my search for the perfect replacement is over.
You are, without a doubt, the most qualified applicant for this job.
Ms.
Katdare, l feel so honored.
Please, call me Divya.
Of course, you'll still have to interview with Dr.
Lawson and his brother, Evan.
Absolutely.
l understand they are as professional and discreet as you are.
Oh, indeed, they are.
l assure you, Miss Lim, HankMed is about medicine, not gossip.
EVAN: Divya! There you are.
Evan.
Uh, wow.
We were just talking about you.
l would like to introduce you Some other time.
l'm sorry.
l'm sure you're a lovely friend or wedding planner, cake baker, whatever you are.
This is just an emergency.
Okay? Dr.
Peck? She's shafting us.
And, yes, it is in the way you think.
Okay.
You know what? Uh, Evan, l think that this should wait No.
lt can't wait.
Because not only is she bonking the boss, the succubus is also trying to steal our clients.
ls that a cruller? Should l go? No.
Yes, yes, yes.
Miss Lim, wait.
Divya, can you focus? We need a plan.
What we need to do is to continue to stay out of Hank's personal life.
Goodbye, Alice! We'll be in touch! You already knew about Emily and Hank, Divya? Divya? Divya? Why did you not tell me? For the same reason that l am not going to talk about it now.
lt is not my business.
What is my business is finding a replacement for me before l leave.
Which, l fear, you have completely screwed up.
(SlGHS) Chopper's going down! Chopper's going down! Now, move forward! Punch forward, men! Punch forward! Flank on the left! (SHOOTlNG) Wait.
You said his mother made the appointment? STANLEY: No, your left! Yeah, she called me.
Watch your head.
Go, go, go, go, go! Watch for the sniper! What? What? What? No, Daniel, tell your mother you'll do your homework later.
So? Algebra is easy.
This is war! Uh Stanley.
Men, retreat! Retreat! (SHOOTlNG) (GROANlNG ON SCREEN) Oh Over.
lt's over.
Are you Jill Casey and Hank Lawson from the Hamptons Family Clinic? Yes, we are.
lt's nice to meet you, Stanley.
We hear that you're not feeling well? Roger that.
Big time.
We're sorry to hear that.
We can see that your troops really need you.
Four months ago, l caught a cold.
So, l took a Z-Pak.
The cold went away.
A week later, the cold came back.
Two months later, l caught another cold.
l took more antibiotics, and a few weeks later, l got sick again.
All right.
Tell me if any of this hurts.
Please.
Last week, l was a POW for six months.
Ahh! A little bit.
Three weeks ago, l was sick again.
Lower back pain, fever, the nausea.
Same story.
Stanley, are you taking care of yourself? Do you exercise? Well, l l do those stairs once a day.
Once going up, then l come down.
Sometimes, l go back up.
So, l'll be in touch as soon as we get your blood work back from the lab.
Then, we should have a better idea what's going on with you.
Okay.
All l need now is your signature for our clinic files.
Okay.
And, l, uh l have something for you.
Something wrong? lt's a cease and desist order from Dr.
Blair and the rest of the Board.
What? Hank, we just got served.
They've closed our clinic.
What You're a process server? lt's my day job.
The good news is that l l really am sick.
Oh.
Huh.
DlVYA: l can't believe that the clinic was shut down.
HANK: Hopefully, not for long.
Jill's all over it, wants us to stay focused on our patients.
DlVYA: Which explains why you've sent Stanley's blood work to the lab.
HANK: Yeah, well, some part of him had to get out of that basement.
Remind me again who we're seeing? DlVYA: The Phillips Family.
Ted Phillips sold his successful energy water company around a year ago.
He's been traveling around the world with his wife and kids ever since.
He is in the Hamptons to pick up his father to join them on the rest of their trip.
(RlNGS DOORBELL) Thanks again for coming on such short notice.
Kids? Teddy.
Grace.
Please say hello to our guests.
Bonjour.
Nihao.
Hai! (CHUCKLlNG) Show-offs.
Start packing, guys! Seventy-one hours until we're airborne again.
Yes.
And this is my husband, Ted.
Barely landed, and he's already trying to launch a new business.
lngestible sunscreen.
HANK: Oh.
Honey.
This is HankMed.
We'll be back from Russia by the end of the month, right? Next month.
Your family time contract doesn't end until then.
Uh, guys, it's great to meet you.
l'm confused, though.
Who here needs a doctor? Um We're all very healthy.
Well, there was the Delhi Belly week in lndia.
lt hit all of us.
Yeah, that was rough.
And then, Teddy broke his toe at Machu Picchu.
And l stepped on a sea urchin in the Maldives.
Yes.
But other than that, we're all fine.
(CHUCKLlNG) lt's my dad we're worried about.
He's had this smoker's cough since before l was born, but he's gotten much worse.
Yeah, his father swears he's fine, but we need to make sure.
Especially before we leave the U.
S.
We're happy to take a look.
All righty.
Well, thank you.
Uh, he's through here.
Good luck.
Yeah.
You're going to need it.
Now, come on, Maddie.
You know the difference between femur and fibula.
Use what's in your cranium.
(COUGHlNG) Oh, you two, don't just stand there staring.
Get in here.
HARRlSON: Femur.
MADDlE: Femur.
HARRlSON: Mmm-hmm.
Fibula.
MADDlE: Fibbian.
HARRlSON: Fibula.
Uh Harrison Phillips.
(STUTTERlNG) Father of Arthroscopy and the Phillip's Suture.
Yeah.
Femur.
Femur.
Fibula.
Fibula.
Excellent.
Emily's outflanked us in sponsored links, too.
So, now, we face a possible bidding war over whose business name comes first when anyone searches for Hamptons concierge medicine.
(SPUTTERlNG) All right.
Tell me the truth.
What? Should l keep these? Yeah, they look good on you.
And of course, Hank's ignoring the fact that she's trading on our name to generate business for herself because he's sleeping with her.
(SPUTTERlNG) He's sleeping with her.
Really? You know, l do think these look great.
But the price (EXCLAlMlNG) And who the hell is Alexander Wang, anyway? He's a well-known designer.
Dad, have you heard anything l just said? Or is it just impossible for you to process anything negative about Hank at all? l hear every word you're saying.
You're worried.
You're upset.
You're nervous about losing HankMed.
(SlGHlNG) Okay.
l understand that.
You've worked hard to get your new life.
But, and this is a really big but Evan, are you listening? You're letting your emotions get in the way.
Have you forgotten the Lawson Family Motto? ''Don't complain about the problem.
Fix it''? Exactly.
And l think l can help you.
l've got a guy.
He can make this situation go away like that.
(SNAPS FlNGERS) Really? Mmm-hmm.
How? What do you mean, how? He can whack her.
(WHlSPERlNG) Are you out of your mind? l don't want to kill her, Dad.
Kill her? What are you talking about, kill her? You said No, no, no.
He's good at getting inside those websites, you know? Oh, my God.
You meant He meant hack her.
He's He's out of touch.
Okay.
All right.
Whatever you young people say, he can do.
Right? He's a computer genius.
He's a disgruntled ex-Google employee.
And he can, uh, deal with Emily's threat.
Listen.
You know what? l've got to go.
Okay.
Tell me how much he costs and let me know.
We'll figure it out later.
All right.
Bye, Dad.
Oh, wait.
Dad.
Pop.
Hey, Dad.
Dad.
(PUMPlNG) So, when were you diagnosed with COPD? l prefer to call it emphysema.
lt sounds dirty.
Smoky.
Appropriate.
Lean forward, please.
(COUGHlNG) Sixteen years ago.
His blood pressure is 198 over 93.
Breathe in and out for me, please? (RASPlNG) How much did you smoke? Two packs a day.
Unfiltered.
l gave them up six months ago.
You let your girl ask a patient questions? Breathe again, please.
Uh, the name is Divya.
And l'm not his girl.
l'm his Physician Assistant.
And we'd both like you to make this trip with your family.
Oh, l'm going to go.
(SCOFFlNG) You don't say no to my daughter-in-law.
This whole globe-trotting adventure was her idea.
Uh, l'd like to update your albuterol.
Uh, add on a steroid inhaler and low-dose prednisone.
What else? Lasix to help your congestive heart failure, and lisinopril to control your blood pressure.
Well, what about theophylline? My Manhattan internist used to prescribe it.
Then, he stopped.
Uh, for good reason.
Yeah, hardly anyone prescribes that anymore.
Seizures, tremors, nausea, vomiting Yeah, l'm well aware of all the side effects.
Thank you.
But l haven't had any.
And it's the one medication that used to make me feel better.
l feel confident with my recommendations.
lf you want, l can bring in a pulmonologist to consult.
That's the best idea l've heard all day.
(CLEARlNG THROAT) (PHONES RlNGlNG) How soon will we get the results? Are there any other pulmonologists on the registry that might be available? Anyone at all? That's in hundreds, not thousands, right? Yes.
Yes, l can make that work.
Fantastic.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So, the lab will have Stanley's test results by 8:00 a.
m.
tomorrow.
You? Every pulmonologist in the tristate area is apparently booked or on vacation.
ls he still in a snit about Emily? No.
l'm not in a snit.
l'm not that juvenile.
Happy to hear that.
Because it turns out there is one other specialist who's available.
Emily.
Emily Peck? Yep.
She did a fellowship in pulmonary medicine.
Did you know the Latin origin of her name is rival? l didn't, either.
l just looked it up.
Working with her is a horrible idea.
Just going to say it.
Just going to say it.
She won't be working with me.
She'll be working under me.
Oh, oh.
Don't even go there.
And only until Dr.
Phillips is feeling better, so let's not make this the drama it's not.
lt's a great idea.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want me to call her? No, it's okay.
l can handle this.
Okay.
Are you out of your mind? What are you doing? We're not trying to push them together.
We're trying to pull them apart, Divya.
And that will happen.
Naturally.
How do you figure that? Once Hank gets a chance to work with her closely, l mean, he can't help but see Emily for the up-selling, elbow-rubbing anti-Hank that she truly is.
lt's devious.
Mmm.
lt's risky.
No.
l know from experience.
Trust me, Evan.
Putting them together is definitely going to pull them apart.
High frigging five.
Now, that is juvenile.
Uh l will follow you around all day like this.
Okay.
Thank you.
Stanley, the, uh, war-mongering process server, has a white count at around Could be a hot appy.
Okay.
l'm on it.
l will find out if the pain has migrated.
Mr.
Russell.
Hi, this is Divya Katdare.
l work with Hank.
STANLEY: Oh, my God! I think I'm dying! Okay, Mr.
Russell, l need you to hang up and call 91 1 .
Do you understand? Help me! Stanley.
Stanley, are you there? Hey.
l'm sorry.
l was just taking enemy fire, I'm fine.
Although, my stomach does kind of bug.
Okay.
You need to get to a hospital right away.
l can't.
My mom doesn't get home until 4:00, so l don't have a car.
We will send someone to take you to Hamptons Heritage.
He'll be there shortly, okay? Message received.
Over and out.
But our appointment was for 9:00.
Well, she arrived about an hour ago.
That woman knows how to schmooze.
To repair chondromalacia of the retropatellar cartilage, a small incision is arthroscopically made to You stop me if l need to explain any of these words, blondie.
Oh, please.
l pay good money to look half as smart as l am.
The fluid gets injected into the joint.
Then, the injury can Enjoying the Surgery Channel? Hello, Dr.
Lawson.
Hello.
Divya.
Mmm.
We were just looking at a video of my first arthroscopic procedure.
ls that Betamax? Welcome to 1980.
Dr.
Peck has kindly offered to transfer all of my surgeries to DVD.
Well, that is kind of her.
You should see these tapes, Hank.
They are amazing.
Yes.
As is the fact that with three doctors in the room, and one of them wheezing, no one's made a move for the albuterol.
Oh, l hate that junk.
lt makes me jittery.
He won't take it more than once every three hours, despite my advice.
Right.
But the current practice is to administer as needed.
(WHlSPERlNG) l think l'm in trouble.
No, you're not in trouble.
HANK: ls that cigar yours? Dr.
Peck has approved of the occasional draw.
Has she now? May l speak with you in private, Dr.
Peck? Now, you're in trouble.
Thank you.
For a patient with emphysema, no amount of smoking is acceptable.
He's an egomaniac who is stuck in his ways.
You know what doctors are like.
He's sick.
He can't afford to be non-compliant.
l agree.
But he is never going to respond to being told what to do.
You have to find achievable improvements.
Well, we're not going to find them by letting our patient dictate how we take care of him.
(PHONE BEEPlNG) Hello? How's the plan going? lt seems to be working.
How are you? Uh, did you get Stanley? Yeah, we're at Hamptons Heritage right now.
l've seen deli counters move faster, by the way.
How are you doing? Yeah.
Are you winning? Yeah.
Tell me again why we're being so nice to this guy? Because he's sick, and he needs help.
So you and Hank are working with our competition, I am now the unpaid chauffeur for Stanley, the subterranean cyber-soldier who's trying to kill our clinic.
Okay.
Let me call you back.
(COUGHlNG) (COUGHlNG HARD) Jill? Evan.
Hi.
You have to help me.
Okay.
And open? No.
No fever.
When did Maddie start coughing? Last night.
But she didn't have a fever, so we weren't too concerned.
She's been fine all morning.
lt's true, l'm okay.
(COUGHlNG) Mostly.
Maddie, l think your cough is related to your grandfather's cough.
Last time l checked, emphysema wasn't contagious.
You sure you didn't get your medical degree on the lnternet? Dad.
(COUGHlNG) No, you're right.
You couldn't have given Maddie emphysema.
But you could have given her pneumonia.
An X-ray will confirm this for both of you, but l think you should start a course of antibiotics.
Dr.
Phillips.
Will you go first? His name is Stanley Russell.
He was a clinic patient.
The last one before it was closed.
He's right over here.
Miss Casey, you do realize the injunction wasn't personal.
Of course.
No offense taken.
But unfortunately, uh, my biggest and most committed donor, Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz, was not as understanding.
Really? l didn't realize he was one of your benefactors.
Oh, yes.
He doesn't just donate here at the hospital, he also anonymously gave to the clinic.
Although, l don't know how silent he's going to be now.
When l told him that the clinic was closed indefinitely, he was furious.
But, like you said, it's not personal.
l'm sure he'll realize that, too.
Stanley, this is Dr.
Blair.
Hi.
Doctor, he's got a hot appy.
White count's 13,000 with a left shift.
Are you a doctor? No, no, no.
l am related to one, though.
Just to be clear, though, appy means appendix, not an appetizer, right? Yes.
Okay.
So, hot means infected, not oven-baked? Who are you? Uh, l'm l'm Ahh! lt's your appendix all right, Mr.
Russell.
We need to get you in surgery now, before it bursts.
Surgery? JlLL: That's exactly what Hank said.
Nurse Stephens? Just like that? Wait.
You can't Just like that.
Please don't let me die.
l won't.
They're going to help you, okay? Stanley, you're going to be fine.
Okay? No, l'm talking to Evan.
My life is in your hands now.
Oh, your life.
l got it.
Yeah.
You're okay.
Okay.
Okay, come on.
Let's go, guys.
Your life is in good hands.
Be a soldier.
STANLEY: Okay.
l mean it.
(WAR CRY) (SCREAMlNG FROM VlDEO GAME) Um, Jill You're talking to Boris? That's genius.
l didn't talk to Boris.
What? l was bluffing, Evan.
That's even genius-er.
That's High five.
What is wrong with people? Hi.
After he vomited, he started shaking and he hasn't stopped.
ls this related to the pneumonia? Let's find out.
Hi.
Damn it, Lynn.
l told you.
l'm l'm just fine.
(GASPlNG) (MACHlNE BEEPlNG) l came as soon as l got your message.
He's in multifocal atrial tachycardia.
His heart rate's that fast? lrregular, too.
Which makes no sense considering the meds he's been taking.
Well, except it can occur with theophylline.
Yeah, but he's not on that.
Yeah, he is.
l gave it to him.
Nausea.
Acute.
Consistent.
Hank, l had him on a low dose of theophylline.
l have no idea how his reaction is so big.
Doctor, that dose didn't do anything.
l helped myself to some extra.
Oh.
l've got the Actidose.
Okay.
How did he get theophylline? What, did he self-prescribe? He didn't prescribe it.
l did.
Dr.
Peck, you can take off.
Divya will assist with the gastric dialysis.
Hank, l'm not going anywhere.
Not until Dr.
Phillips is stable.
We should get him to Hamptons Heritage or call the EMT's.
l can handle it, now that l know what's going on.
Should we intubate? lntubate? Guys? Guys, let's just calm down.
Okay.
You're right.
Uh, we can handle his difficulty breathing with steroids and albuterol.
Good.
Why don't you prep the nebulizer? Okay.
Divya, let's place the nasogastric tube.
Not on my naso, you're not.
We will nebulize by facemask, which will anesthetize your nose and throat and make this much more comfortable.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Numb me.
Let's just get this the hell over with.
Okay.
Dr.
Peck, please turn it.
(STEADY BREATHlNG) Okay.
(GRUNTlNG) Swallow.
Swallow.
Good.
Okay.
Good.
Mask on? Mask on.
His O2 sat is not improving.
We have him on max beta-2 agonists.
l can barely hear breath sounds because of his bronchospasm.
Okay.
Try lV magnesium.
Two grams over 20 minutes.
Okay.
(SlGHlNG) Looks like he's out of danger.
Dr.
Phillips.
Hi.
How are you feeling? Huh.
Any shot at a cigar? You're funny.
Hmm.
How about some breakfast? Hello? Dad! Excuse me.
Do not talk to me about keeping promises.
And, yes, l can close a deal.
l'll keep my end of the bargain.
Don't you worry.
You know what? l have to call you back.
Are you kidding me with this? Huh? How did you This is insane.
Yeah, isn't it? Ev? You have to call me before you just pop over.
l did.
l called you twice.
lt just rang through.
Ah.
l just got this contraption.
lt's a 500-dollar piece of art.
You know what? You can't even answer a phone call.
l can teach you how to use it.
lt's got two lines.
You know what? Another time would be perfect.
All right.
So, l came to return these bad boys.
You left them on the table after all that.
Thank you.
And Oh, so comfortable.
Mmm.
l came to thank you for hacking Emily.
l'm very glad it worked out.
lt so did.
But wait.
There's more.
lf you act now, for one low price, you can have public humiliation, as well.
Check this out.
Hmm? So, if you search for her website, it redirects you to this piece of genius.
Like, how did he even find that? Well, that's what he does.
Oh! This is like heaven.
You all right? Actually, l'm dealing with some major work issues.
Really? Anything l can help with? No.
l l got incompetence, impatience, impertinence.
l've got idiots.
ldiots all around, Evan.
Well, don't complain about the problem.
Fix it.
Hey.
Huh? l'm That's exactly what l'm going to do.
Listen.
Drive safely.
Okay.
And thanks for coming.
Um, cool.
Okay.
Who should l make the check out to? You know what? Call me old fashioned.
l like cash.
How is it looking? Both Maddie's and your test results are negative.
l don't have pneumonia.
You did good, Dr.
Lawson.
Well, coming from you, that's high praise.
Look.
Now that we've bonded, (SHORT CHUCKLE) what are the chances of a brief encounter with one of my lonely cigars? Hmm? The chances of that are slim to none, and slim just left town.
l'm sorry.
Okay.
Then, how about a favor instead? Convince Ted they should complete their adventure without me.
What What Why do you need me to tell him that? Because he'll say no to me.
And he won't to me? Not when you tell him l'll be able to join them in three days.
Yeah, but you won't be Which is why you want me to tell him.
l will not be the reason Ted and Lynn don't get to finish their adventure.
My son works his tail off.
He's got limited time with his family.
lt's important to him.
To them.
To me.
How about this? l'll tell Ted that you're hoping to join them.
That's good enough for me.
Okay, then.
l'd like to talk with you.
Sure.
Your father's doing well.
He should never have been as sick as he was in the first place.
Mr.
Phillips.
Your father overdosed on a medicine, theophylline.
lt was prescribed, but not taken as directed.
You have every right to be upset.
Yeah, you're right.
l do.
l would be furious if something like that happened to my father.
Uh But with theophylline, the line between toxic and safe is a thin one.
What matters is that Dr.
Phillips is stable.
The meds are out of his system, and l think we can all say that this will never happen again.
l'm sorry it did.
l want to go see my father.
EVAN: Long night? Ah.
Let me guess, actually.
You were sleeping with the Emily again, weren't you? Okay.
l won't be ignored, Henry.
Okay? All right.
We're going to talk about this.
Okay.
Start talking.
l'm going to catch up on some e-mails.
Okay.
l'm to illustrate.
On one hand, we have We have you, Hank, of HankMed.
Okay? On the other hand, we have Emily.
The succubus.
So, HankMed over here.
The competition over here.
Uh, which hand is the succubus hand? Okay.
l'm familiar with the expression, ''Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
'' Okay? You're taking it way too literally.
So, let me illustrate again.
That was the last one.
(CRlES OUT) This is what we do to our competition.
Okay? We crush like a bug.
Ahh! All right.
That was wonderfully illustrated.
Really.
That was poignant.
Are you done? Okay.
Good.
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) Emily is not trying to bring HankMed down.
Okay? Are you You don't need to worry.
Look.
we're just We're having fun together.
That's all it is.
Well, good luck opening it.
Hello.
Good morning.
Have you seen Dr.
Phillips already? No.
l was waiting for both of you.
Oh.
Okay, let's go.
You hear that? Well, l don't hear anything.
Exactly.
The vagabonds have left for the airport.
(COUGHlNG HEAVlLY) Dr.
Phillips, when did your cough start up again? To be honest with you, it never went away.
That's odd.
Have you been taking your antibiotics? Exactly as directed.
Well, you should be feeling better.
Yeah, well, you tell that to my lungs.
That rash is petechial.
Mmm-hmm.
DlVYA: And with paroxysms.
There's only one thing it could be.
Hello! ls it my father? Your father's okay.
Divya's with him.
We tried your cell.
What is it? What's the matter? We think Maddie is sick.
What? What do you mean, sick? Could you pull her shirt back? What is that? How did you know that was there? Maddie has a highly contagious disease.
Whooping cough.
And so does your father.
And you guys may have it, too.
Eddie R.
Lawson, where are you? Your extra hot cap is now a room temperature cap, Pops.
And it's dropping fast.
Pop, if you can't figure out the call waiting on your phone, there's two buttons.
They're at the bottom of the phone.
Ugh, never mind.
l'm l'm here.
l'm still here at Eden's Garden.
(WHEEDLlNG) l l l have your money.
So Oh, my God.
You got out of the hospital so fast.
Thanks to you.
You know, my appendix would have exploded like nitroglycerine.
(CHUCKLlNG) Kaboom! Don't stop on my account.
l mean, you're going to kill your avatar, dude.
l'm this close to getting the insurgents.
They need to take a break, anyway.
Listen, uh Can l buy you a nice cup of joe? And l want to apologize for having to serve you guys.
Okay? lt's the worst part of my job.
Dude, you're a process server.
That is your job, right? Well, l still hate doing it.
You hate it? Why do you do it? l get to meet people.
And believe it or not, social interaction hasn't always come easy for me.
Mmm.
Plus, l get to make my own hours.
And with the economy the way it is, l Triple latte for Felix? Right here.
Right here.
l'm coming.
Hostile detected.
Time to move.
Wait.
Who, that guy? No way.
What did he do? That's on a need to know.
And l don't need to know.
l just follow orders.
Right.
Stanley, if you hate your job, why don't you just get a new job? l don't want to sound preachy.
l just l Recently, l did.
So, hating your job is no way to live life, man.
For you or your avatar.
And you've got to look out for him, too, right? You know, you'd be a great platoon leader.
Great platoon leader.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
Do you want to Okay.
Um, maybe l'll run into you in cyberspace sometime.
Yeah, well, if you do, you watch your six.
All right.
You watch your seven.
l said you watch your six.
Hey, Felix! Okay.
There you go.
So, Doc.
How's the old man doing? Better.
Much better.
lt's a good thing you stuck around long enough to see his rash.
Now, there's a sentence you just don't hear very often.
(ALL CHUCKLlNG) l am curious how Maddie got whooping cough and the other kids didn't.
Well, Teddy and Grace were immunized.
But when Maddie was born, there was a lot of controversy over immunizations.
So, we decided to err on the side of caution.
Right.
Why ask a doctor? And Dr.
Phillips was susceptible because Because l've outlived my immunization.
Another wonderful by-product of growing older.
But how did Maddie get it in the first place? She could have easily picked it up on one of your off-the-beaten-path adventures.
So, when do you think she'll be well enough to travel? At least six weeks.
l'm afraid your family trip is going to have to wait.
Of course it will.
We'll continue our adventure here.
All of us together.
lt should be a great adventure.
lt was a pleasure.
A pleasure here, blondie.
Take care.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
Doctor.
Doctor.
l've got something for you.
l'm about to give you some of my most prized possessions.
Well, uh Yeah, but you can't smoke them.
(ALL LAUGHlNG) True.
True.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Take care, Hank.
Will do.
Take care.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Don't smoke them all at once.
All right, there? Thank you.
You must not think l'm a very good doctor.
We have different methods.
Which means you don't think l'm a very good doctor.
Look.
You were the pulmonologist l brought in, and you did something l completely disagree with.
Look, Hank.
lf l had known how you felt about the theophylline, l would never have prescribed it.
Right.
Well, you could have talked to me about it first.
l'm sorry.
Look, you screwed up.
You know that.
The important thing is, Dr.
Phillips is okay.
No thanks to me.
You are hard on yourself.
Yeah, well, if l'm going to hold others to high standards, the least l can do is expect the same of myself.
Let me cook you dinner.
Distract you.
l didn't know you can cook.
l can't.
That's why it will distract you.
As appetizing as that sounds, l've got to get up early in the morning.
l have a flight to catch.
To where? San Diego.
Self-exile? Worse.
Family.
Oh.
Okay.
lt's only for a few days.
l'm overdue a visit so they can hound me about why l'm not married.
l'll save you the airfare.
Why aren't you married? Maybe l haven't met the right guy.
Well, when you do, tell him l say hello.
l'll do that.
Oh.
Tell Evan l want a truce on the digital warfare.
l have no idea what that means, and l'm thinking that's a good thing.
Whoa! (LAUGHlNG) Now, l am sure that's a good thing.
He plays dirty, and l like it.
And that's why you became employee of the month.
(CHUCKLlNG) Jill.
Do you have a minute? Sure.
l just want to let you know that Hamptons Heritage is dropping its lawsuit.
You are? They are? While we believe that the clinic should be run through the hospital, l also know that patient care is always the most important thing.
Always.
Well.
We agree on that.
Dr.
Blair, thank you.
Really.
And l just wanted to say l appreciate you coming here to tell me this yourself.
Unfortunately, my top candidate has reconsidered joining HankMed.
She seemed uptight.
Kind of like you.
Okay, guys.
Are there any other options? Actually, there is one.
Emily Peck.
Yes, that's a good idea.
That's true.
l'm surprised l didn't think of that.
That's, uh That's You know, l heard, Jack Kevorkian got out of prison.
So, he's available.
Having another doctor, one with complete autonomy, would give HankMed more bandwidth.
And, as an employee, she would no longer be competition.
Okay, Hank, would you tell her how insane she is? l've got to say, it's not a bad idea.
lt's not? No.
Yes, it is.
lt's a terrible idea.
Divya, you traitor.
What happened to elbow-rubbing, up-selling, and anti-Hank? Anti-what? What are you guys l changed my mind.
Oh.
Oh.
Actually, Emily did.
Yeah, she does that.
Huh.
Uh, Evan? (SPORTS COMMENTATOR CHATTERlNG ON TV) Come on.
Hey, kiddo.
Hey.
Evan here? No, he's out with Paige.
l think he's got something for me.
He'll be back soon.
Yeah? Mmm-hmm.
Will you just tell him l was here? Okay.
You can wait, if you want.
You sure? Yeah.
Thanks.
Sure.
You want a beer? You kidding? Thanks.
Yep.
This is like old times.
You and me, on a couch.
Watching our team lose.
(CHUCKLlNG) Boris.
lt's been a long time.
You wanted to see me? lt seems that being an anonymous donor to your clinic no longer guarantees anonymity.
Someone said something.
Ms.
Casey, if l desired anyone to know about my involvement, l would have told them myself.
l wanted Dr.
Blair to know how much the clinic meant to you.
Well, you crossed a line.
l'm sorry.
l didn't realize l cannot afford to have my privacy jeopardized.
Not by you, not by HankMed, not by anyone.
Especially not now.
Okay.
lt won't happen again.
l can assure you it won't.
You can let yourself out.
HARRlSON: The patient was a 42-year-old What the hell? with a diagnosis of chondromalacia patella.
All right, Eddie, good job.
This is good.
Thanks.
What? What do you mean? Well, the letterhead, with the signature (lNAUDlBLE) Forget it, Eddie.
Thank you.