Rugrats (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

[drumroll]
[cymbal crash]
[lively music]
[vacuum whirs]
- [laughs]
- [groaning]
- [laughing]
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
[frog ribbiting]
[both laughing]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[car horn honks]
- Mrowl!
- Ta-da!
[grunts]
- [giggles]
- Whoa! Whoa!
- [vocalizing]
- This is Lil's first try
at crossing
the living room on blocks.
- Will she make it?
We're about to find out.
- Whoa! Ta-da.
- Her score? A perfectest 10.
- Hey, hey. Ho, ho.
All this fighting's gotta go.
[laughs]
How do you like that, sprouts?
50 years of protests
and rallies,
and I'm still bringing
my A-game
to my favorite annual event--
the March for Peace.
I feel 20 again.
Ah, I gotta get my guitar,
my sage stick,
and my rainbow sleeping bag.
Ow! Ow. Ow. Ow, my back.
- Whoa, there must be
some big rocks in that bag.
- Maybe falling on the couch
is part of the march for peas.
- It's opening day
of the sequel
to our favorite movie
of all time,
"Final Eclipse". Let's go.
What's to discuss?
- Gosh, Stu. So many things.
Like, is there really
more story to tell,
if it was the "final" eclipse?
Also, we're supposed
to watch the kids
while your father goes to the--
- March for Peace. Oh!
- Pop, are you okay?
- Son, have you ever had
an elephant sit on your back?
- Once, in a videogame. Why?
- No, you're missing the point.
I pulled my back out.
- Wow. Anything I can do?
- Nah, I'll live.
I just won't be making it
to the march.
I've never missed one,
in 50 years.
- Lou, that's tough.
Do you want to talk about it?
- Rather not. Go on.
You boys go enjoy your movie.
I'll look after the kids.
- Come on.
Before he changes his mind.
- Grandpa! Grandpa! 'Mergency.
Can you open
this peanut butter?
- Easy, buttercup.
Grandpa's back
has a big old ouchie.
- Sorry to hear, Grandpa.
Thanks. Gotta go.
- Knock-knock. We're here.
Stu? Lou? Are you okay?
- Ah, I'm fine.
Just hurt my back a little.
- Lou, as a doctor,
I can tell you the best thing
for that back is ice and rest.
- Thank you, Lucy,
but I'm gonna try
some ancient folk remedies.
You know, detox my energy
and purify the air.
- Okay, if that's what
the ancient folks wanted.
But do try to get some rest.
I thought Stu was here?
Are you sure you're up
to watching all these kids?
- Uh
[laughs]
- I used a porta potty
on day three of Woodstock.
I can handle anything. Go on.
- Go easy on Grandpa Lou
today, kids.
Thank you, Lou. Get some rest.
- Hi, Susie.
Have you ever heard
of a march for peas?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
I do it all the time now.
It's how you walk
when you have to pee,
and you aren't near the potty.
- First, they make you
give up your diapie.
Then you gotta dance?
No, thank you.
- Grandpa's not talking 'bout
that kind of pee.
He's talking
'bout the kind you eat.
A march for peas is what the
growed-ups call a peas parade.
Like, with floats,
and people waving from cars,
and ponies pooping
in the street.
both:
[gasp] Pooping ponies?
- Hey, what if we have
a peas parade for Grandpa?
- Okay!
- Yeah!
- Slow down, President Baldy.
We all know
what Grandpa's favoritest thing
in the world is.
His 'dorable granddaughter.
If you really wanna
cheer him up,
the parade should be
all about me.
- Nah. Peas are more fun.
- Sorry, Angelica,
but I know Grandpa,
and we're sticking with peas.
- Cynthia, if those dumb babies
think they can put
on a better parade than we can,
they got
a diaper full of dreams.
- [sighs]
Okay, Lou. Ow.
Breathe in Mother Nature's
healing scent,
and breathe out whatever
toxic energy no longer serves.
Ow.
Ah, me and the gang spreading
peace and love to the masses.
Ah! Jumping Jesse Jetpack!
[fire alarm blaring]
Ugh. Ow.
- See anything green
and vegeble-y in there, Susie?
- Nope. Not a vegetable.
Not green.
Green, but yucky-looking.
Too bad your Grandpa
wasn't gonna go
on a march for tater tots.
Ew.
- Aw, corn babies.
- And I gots hot dog babies.
- Guys, we got to keep
looking for peas
for Grandpa's peas parade.
- Found 'em.
- Hello, parade people.
Welcome to the manual
Angelica Day Angelica Parade.
I'm your queen, Angelica.
You may throw flowers
and candy.
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Hey, pay attention, Spike!
[Spike whines]
The mutt's right.
If I'm gonna have
a parade for Grandpa,
I need a real float
and a real driver.
No offense, Cynthia,
but you drive like a doll.
- You think we got enough peas?
- They're still freezeded-ed.
- I know a melty place.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Cold!
[grunts]
- Now the peas are all dirty.
What are we gonna do, Tommy?
[jaunty music]
- There--these are
the cleanest peas I know.
- Jump in.
We'll make our feet go like
the Washington machine.
Faster, Chuckie.
Time for the spin cycle.
- I am not
a Washington machine.
I'm a human baby.
[grunting]
Whoa!
- Tastes like green.
Try it, Lil.
- Ah, ah, ah!
Aw, I always knowed
peas was sneaky.
[suspenseful music]
- Just the baby
I was looking for.
I was thinking we could play
"Let Lil drive my Cynthia car."
- But you said if we ever
droved-ed your Cynthia car,
you'd throw all our toys
in the ocean for sharks to eat.
- I say a lot of things.
If you wanna drive the car,
follow me.
- Harmonious Dove, you can stop
worrying about me.
I'm bringing out
the crystal caval--oh!
Ow. Oh. My foot.
Ow. And my back. Ow, my foot.
Ow, my back. Oh, my foot.
Oh, my back.
Ooh. Oh! Oh.
Ah. Ooh.
My crystals have betrayed me.
- I always knew you'd
come in handy one day, Lil.
How's my float coming along?
Did you capture the essence
of my ponytails?
- Yep. Take a look.
- [gasps]
It's parade perfection.
You earned your right to drive.
Hop in.
- [grunting]
[engine starts]
- Ah!
Lil, what are you doing?!
Slow down!
I gotta wave
to my aboring fans.
Who taught you how to drive?
- No one. Why?
- Because you're terrible!
Whoa!
Lil, you're
wrecking everything!
You're totally incontinent!
[yelling]
- We did it, guys.
Now we can bring Grandpa
his march for peas.
[phone buzzing]
- Ow.
- Seymour Finkelstein?
Hello?
Oh, Moon-Boy.
Hi. Yeah, I guess you heard.
I pulled my back, and the dog
made a big, old mess
in the kitchen.
But I'm gonna try
the old onion trick
and draw out that negative chi.
I'll see you at the campout.
I'll be the one who smells
like onion-flavored feet dip.
[laughs]
Ah, onion juice.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Gah!
Whoa, whoa-whoa!
Oh, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, I--I cannot--oh!
Ah!
Oh, oh! Ah!
[grunting]
Oh. Ow.
Sorry, old friends. I give up.
[lively music]
Hey there, sprouts.
What you been up to?
What's in the wagon?
I can't see. Ow.
- [yelling]
Lil, I told you to slow down!
Right now!
[yelling]
Ugh. I don't even like peas.
- [laughing]
- Angelica, are you okay?
What's going on?
- Grandpa,
I made you a giant float of me
so I could give you a parade,
but the babies
wrecked it all with their peas.
- Parade? Peas?
Oh, I can use those
to ice my back.
Ow. Oh.
Thank you, Tommy.
Ooh. Ah.
- Anyway, I got this
great new coffee bean
from a completely
uninhabited island,
and then I--whoa!
What happened here?
- Pop?
I thought you were going
to the March for Peace.
- I didn't need to.
Got some real flower children
right here.
- Oh, that is so sweet.
You're making me tear up.
- I think that's my feet.
[all laughing]
- [vocalizing]
[doorbell ringing]
- Hello, daffodil.
- Hi, Grandpa.
My new toy just came
special delivery,
and I told Daddy
I had to open it
with Tommy and the babies.
- Isn't that sweet?
She's always thinking
of her little cousin.
- Uh-oh.
- This can't be good.
- Go on. Open it.
- Careful, Tommy.
The last time Angelica
tolded me to open a box,
a clown popped out.
[Phil and Lil laugh]
[tense music]
It's worser than a clown.
- It's another Angelica.
- This is my brand new
Just Like Me doll.
See? She's just like me!
- Eh, how much like you?
- Duh, Susie. 'Zactly like me.
She looks just like me,
and she talks just like me too.
Tell the babies who you are.
- I'm Angelica Pickles.
- Just like me!
- I'm three years old.
- Sound familiar?
- My friends
all call me Angie.
- No, we don't.
- I like you.
- Hold on. Something's wrong.
- Great idea. You're amazing.
Let's share.
- What? I never say that junk.
This isn't just like me at all!
Daddy, Daddy!
I don't like my new toy.
Send it back.
- Oh, precious, you can't
return a Just Like Me doll.
It's made to order.
Remember, we recorded
your voice
so the doll
would sound just like you?
And Mommy cut a piece
of your hair
so they could make the dolly's
hair the same color?
- Technology is terrifying.
What happened to kids having
conversations with a sock?
- Oh, and that's not scary?
[jaunty music]
- Hi, Angie.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Lil, and this is Phil.
- How you pooing?
- Hi. I'm Angie. Wanna play?
- Don't do it, guys.
Sure, she sounds nice,
but a'member,
she's just like Angelica.
- Don't worry, Chuckie.
If she were just like Angelica,
would she let me do this?
- Hi there. Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, me next.
Angie, wanna dance?
- I like your style.
- I wanna play hair-messer.
- Don't, Lil.
Not that!
Oh.
- You make me happy.
- [laughing]
- [groans]
- Wow.
This doll is nothing
like Angelica.
- Oh, gee,
I guess you're right, Susie.
I wonder if she'll let me, uh--
- Back off, Finster.
Time to shut this doll down.
- Oops. Heh.
Don't want to leave
your new toy behind.
Let's roll, sprouts.
- Welcome to "Mommy Moments,"
a show about timeout for you.
I'm here relaxing
at Betty's Beans
And timeout is over.
See you next week!
Hey, Pop.
- Hey, hey, Didi.
Uh, just making a little pit
stop on the way to the park.
Gotta catch up on my reading.
- A newspaper? Oh, no. Pop.
I knew this day would come.
Luckily, I'm free to help out.
- What? Why?
- Reading is very distracting.
Even looking away
from the babies
[phone dings]
for a split second could be--
ooh, flash sale
at the craft store.
[upbeat music]
- Push!
I wanna go higher.
- Let's ask a grownup.
- I wasn't talking to you!
Babies, push harder.
- I'm Angie. I like you.
- I said, push harder!
- Hey, there.
- [giggles]
- You're pushing her?!
- Sorry, Angelica.
We can't help it.
Angie's so nice.
[babies laughing]
- Always better to have
an extra set of eyes
on the children.
- Eh, kids basically
watch themselves.
I used to drop Stu and Drew
at the mall with a compass
and some fruit leathers.
What?
They had everything
they needed.
- There's so much
to catch you up on.
- Dig, babies, dig.
- I wanna find some lost
quarters and other good stuff.
- [gasps]
- You call that a hole?
It's barely a dent. Dig faster.
- We're digging as fast
as we can.
- Yeah.
You're not being
very nice, Angelica.
- Who cares about being nice?
Keep digging!
- I don't think
I wanna dig anymore.
- If we work together,
we can do anything.
- She's right. Let's dig.
- Yeah. Good idea, Angie.
- Let's dig for Angie.
- Yeah, Angie!
[solemn music]
- It's not fair.
I've been the boss
of those babies for years,
but now,
it's all Angie, Angie, Angie.
Ugh. Just because she's nice?
Wait.
I think
I'm realizing something.
For the first time in my life,
I can pretend to be nice,
and then they'll
listen to me again.
How hard can it be?
[sighs]
It feels good to grow, Cynthia.
[jaunty music]
Hi, friends. Wanna play?
- Are you talking to us?
- Of course, Phil.
Like Angie says, I like you.
- Why does it sound different
when you say it?
- Can't a kid
be nice for a minute
without a bunch of babies
asking ridiculous questions?
I mean, my friend Angie here's
got the right idea.
I'm gonna be like her,
only even nicer.
- Table for one.
- Cute place you got here,
Chef Phil, Chef Lil.
Give me a green nacho tea
latte, two toasts, no butter,
and five donuts--
I--I mean please?
And thank you.
- Here's your green
nacho tea latte.
- Ahh! What are you--
- Oh, here.
Use my shirt to--whoa!
Whoa!
- Ah!
- [grunts]
- Quit bumbling all over me!
- Hey there. Let's play.
- You can do this.
Get it together.
Let me help you, Chuckie.
- We're out of donuts,
but Chef Phil made pa-sketti.
- Hey, no fair.
Um, can I have
some more, please?
- There's lots more
where those came from.
- You're feeding me
diaper food?
- Do you like it, Angie?
- You're amazing.
- What's wrong, Angelica?
Angie likes the food,
don't you?
- [groaning]
That's it!
I tried my best,
but I've had
all the nice I can take.
You wanna play
with that dumb doll?
Go right ahead. I'm outta here.
- Did you want that
pa-sketti to go?
- Uh-oh, here comes bossy Josh.
Those babies better watch out,
or I'll have to--
you're right, Cynthia.
It's not my problem anymore.
- Hey, you babies,
what makes you think
you can climb on that thing?
- Um, 'cause we like it
up here?
- Too bad.
That's private property,
and I'm the private,
so get down
from there right now.
- Hold on, Chuckie.
The playground is for everyone.
- Tell that to a big kid.
- Wait. Angie's big.
Maybe she can talk to him.
- Hi. I'm Angie. Wanna play?
- I don't play with babies
or dolls.
Now get down
before I come up and make ya!
[tense music]
- Ooh, ooh.
Listen to this, Pop.
It's from one of the top five
parenting blogs.
It's important
to allow children
to play
and explore on their own.
- Huh. You don't say?
[chuckles]
- I'm almost there.
Get that dolly out of my face.
- You're amazing.
- Okay, the dolly can stay,
but the rest of you better
get off my jungle gym now.
- Oh, I'm starting to wish
nice Angie wasn't so nice.
- Hey!
Back away from those babies!
- Says who?
- Says me, Angelica.
- And what if I don't?
- I'm counting.
One. Two.
Three!
- Ahh!
[sobbing]
Mommy! That girl is mean!
- And don't you forget it!
- Thank you, Angelica.
You saved us.
[sentimental music]
- Well, you tried, Angie,
but as anyone
with a brain can see,
you're no substitute
for the real thing.
Everyone,
say your last goodbyes.
- Oh, Angie.
I'm really gonna miss
your smile
and your sweet voice and your--
- All right. Enough.
- [voice distorting]
I like you.
- Aw, we'll never hear
those words from someone
who looks like Angelica again.
[lively music]
- Klasky Csupo.