Samantha Who? s01e05 Episode Script

Drive.
Holy moly ! OK.
You've done something.
We can work it out.
We just need to get to town before the store closes.
We're robbing a store ? Can we just go ? Right, right, right.
No questions.
I'm just the wheel man.
One request though.
If there's going to be some kind of spree It's nothing like that.
The only crime is me stupidly wanting a relationship with my father.
My car shakes if I go above 50, so we have some time together, if you'd like to, you know, to share or Well, it all started with ice cream.
It usually does.
The thing about amnesia is that you learn something new everyday.
Last week, I learned it's a bad idea to sit behind me on a roller coaster.
So anyway, a couple of days ago, I was trying to learn my favorite ice cream.
Mm-mm ! Mint chocolate chip skyrockets to number one.
I can always tell when hunting season's about to start.
We've been here an hour and you're still smiling.
I've never been so bored, but who cares ? Tomorrow I am a man.
Samantha.
Honey, have you made a decision ? Yes.
There is no bad ice cream.
Oh, good.
OK.
Well, then, so we can Wait a minute, wait.
What is frozen yogurt ? - Oh, Lord.
- No, no, I wanna I wanna try the the excuse me the vanilla bean swirl, uh because I think I might like that.
Because What is this song ? - This song is so sad ! - Mommy, she's scaring me.
I knew it was a mistake bringing her here.
It always ended in tears.
I'm sorry.
She's just over-tired.
- No, I'm not.
I want more ice cream.
- Come on.
So I didn't even stop crying until we were halfway home.
What was the song ? I didn't catch the words, but it was like Oh, I love that song.
It's by Mm-Mm and the Mm-Mm's.
This is a very powerful memory for me and I need it.
Oh, God.
What is it connected to ? Is it a past love ? - Or us ? Was it our song ? - We didn't have a song.
Every time I suggested one you laughed and asked if I was on my period.
Bad girlfriend.
I keep hoping you were the only guy that I treated terribly.
You ! No ! No, no, no, no, no, no ! I'm thinking there were others.
- Do you mind if I ? - No, please.
Wait ! A thousand feet, Samantha ! I have it in writing ! Restraining order.
Why didn't I think of that ? Hey, guy ! Guy, stop ! Stop ! Ah ! Oh ! Buddy, are you OK ? Well, that was interesting.
I know.
I can really throw.
Restraining orders are just so unfair.
I mean, sometimes a love is just too big to be fenced in by laws.
Well, yeah.
And they're totally unenforceable.
I mean, how do you eyeball a thousand feet ? Fourteen telephone poles.
I can't believe you, Andrea.
How could you not tell me about this ? You call me at midnight to tell me to get my eyebrows waxed, but my restraining order just slips your mind ? Forgetting things we shouldn't remember is why God invented amnesia.
And tequila.
- Why do you have my file ? - I represented you.
- Thank you.
- Not for free.
So how was I obsessed ? Did I leave too many messages or something ? Or write him poems ? I kidnapped his dog ? Ah ! "Waited for him in his tanning bed.
Took his clothes from a dressing room and made him come out in his underwear and talk to me.
" - That one's kind of cool.
- I like that one.
Yeah, but now there's this restraining order against me, on Old Me.
I'm not that person anymore.
I'm 100 percent less stalky.
Well, good.
Then it will be easy not to violate it.
But what about him ? I mean, this poor guy is like a wreck because of me.
He should know that he doesn't have to keep looking over his shoulder.
I should call him.
No.
You get something in your teeth and you shake it until it's dead.
Yeah, but maybe not anymore.
OK.
No, you're right.
You're right.
- Catch.
- Oh ! Ooh ! "Nathan Burke, 312-555-0196".
Good, go ahead, call him.
It's not like a guy who's being stalked wouldn't change his phone number.
Oh, that's a good point.
Nathan ? Go away ! I just want to talk.
Open the door.
Don't think so.
Uh-Uh.
I'm not going to do anything, all right.
I just came here to tell you that you don't have to worry about me, you know coming here.
I'm very sorry for what I put you through, but trust me, you do not need a restraining order.
OK, then.
Really ? Sure.
People can change, I guess.
Thanks for telling me, that's a big relief.
Oh, for me, too.
I am so glad you think that people can change because, you know, I struggle with that question every day myself.
You know ? Nathan ? Nathan ? You tried.
If he doesn't want to hear it, there's nothing you can do about it.
One would think.
That was kind of rude.
What are you ? How did you break into my car ? I know, right ? That's another skill I didn't know I had.
Not driving.
Saw it on Oprah's Survival Special, never go to a second location.
Look, I just want to talk to you.
Why are you making this so hard ? I'm going to reach for my phone.
I want to have a neighbor check on my dog.
Listen to me.
I don't know you.
All right ? I have retrograde amnesia.
Amnesia doesn't exist.
It's just a cheap and lazy storytelling device.
No, it's real.
I was hit by a car and was unconscious for eight days.
So I have no memories, including of you and me.
So there's no reason to stalk you.
See ? There's nothing to be afraid of.
So how did you find me ? I stole your file.
But, you know what, let's stay on track, all right ? What I wanted to say is that after today, you will never see me again.
I promise.
Really ? Yes.
Well, you do seem different.
I am.
OK.
Oh, God.
Thank God.
I know I'm making such a big deal about this, but I just wanted you to know that I am not crazy.
All right.
I'm not that person anymore.
I am a very rational Oh, now you see, it's just all those old memories have been erased and I'm just I'm just trying to turn over a new Damn it ! I'm not crying about you, OK ? It's about I don't even know what it's about.
I have to go.
Oh, God.
That song ! Well, I'm a little hurt.
You like this boy enough to stalk him and this is the first I hear of him ? OK, I don't like him.
Why are you chasing after this Nathan person when you're already dating Todd ? First of all, I'm not dating Todd and second of all, I'm not chasing him, I just tracked him down to tell him that I'm not stalking him.
I'm never getting grandkids, am I ? God, this is the weirdest day ever.
And I say that knowing that I have had some very weird days.
Tomorrow's an early day.
Gets earlier and earlier every deer season.
All I wanted to do was just tell the guy that he didn't have to worry about me anymore, but he ran away.
Used to be, you could walk right out here, find anything you wanted to hunt.
Now it's an hour drive to Frederick's Lake.
I just couldn't let it go.
It's like I couldn't stand not being paid attention to.
God, I wonder where that comes from ? You know I got a great deer stand though.
You got to get there early, so the cheeseheads don't grab it.
And the way that I broke down crying again.
Maybe he should be worried.
Maybe I should be worried.
It's like I never know when Old Sam's craziness is just going to bubble up.
It's just God, it's scary.
Now that is a clean rifle.
Thanks for listening, Dad.
I do feel better.
All right.
You broke into his car ? He snuck out of his apartment.
- Wait a minute ! - What ? You and Andrea went out for drinks without me ? You were at swing dancing class.
Now can I just tell the story ? You broke into his car ? He snuck out of his apartment.
It's called a restraining order.
Not a restraining tip.
Not restraining advice.
I know.
But I had this compulsion to be heard.
You know ? To say, "Hey, you ! Don't ignore me, I am here !" - Someone has daddy issues.
- Who ? Oh, me ? No.
What do you mean ? You didn't get enough of Daddy's love as a child.
I get plenty of attention from my dad.
I mean, just tonight we were Just tonight he didn't listen to me at all.
This is not good.
I don't want to have daddy issues.
Yes, you do.
I would like to have a good relationship with my father.
No, you don't.
Now you listen to me.
There are a lot of pretty girls.
We're hot.
Why ? We're damaged.
You wanting more attention than you can ever possibly get, that is your drive.
It is why you're successful.
Don't ever, ever fix your daddy issues.
Otherwise, you'll just be some woman, on a couch sitting there, watching TV next to your husband eating ice cream sandwiches.
- I want that.
- No.
Where can I get a gun ? Almost anywhere.
Why ? Because someone's going hunting.
Right now ? OK.
Speed it up, old man ! I'm driving a piece of crap ! What's your excuse ? I'm going to put this in the back 'cause it's getting in the way up here.
Coffee ? What's going on ? Did you just get home from some club or something ? No.
I'm going hunting.
- What do you mean ? - With you.
No.
No.
Sorry.
No.
Yes.
Why not ? Because I hunt alone.
Or with Jack Bellamy when he doesn't have phlebitis.
But I want us to do stuff together, just you and me.
We do.
We had ice cream together.
Last night we cleaned my rifle.
I mean, we'll do some stuff together later on.
Why don't you just go back to bed ? OK.
It is sort of early for me.
Good night, Dad.
Damn it.
Yes, you have to take me.
Yes, you have to take me.
You've never been hunting.
You'll shoot your leg off, then good luck getting married.
No, but I've been practicing.
And I bought this pretty new rifle.
I went to the gun range, and then last night I watched The Deer Hunter which really wasn't helpful at all.
Have you heard of Vietnam ? I mean, do people know about that ? I don't see this ending well.
You and your father have a good relationship.
Why screw it up by spending time together ? We do not have a good relationship.
We don't talk.
Not about anything.
And I just think that if I can do something with him that he loves that he and I can finally connect.
If you want to connect with someone, I'm right here.
Connect with me.
No, you and I, we connect plenty, thank you.
There is not an amnesia strong enough to erase the memory of last week's tai chi exercises.
I told you, I thought it was supposed to be done naked.
How long do I have to keep apologizing ? Look, Frederick's Lake is a whole hour away.
You can talk about whatever you want.
You can even finish telling me about that really, really interesting dream about you and Samuel L.
Jackson.
- Frederick's Lake ? - Uh-huh.
- That's near the outlet mall.
- Mm.
You think they have purses ? Oh, you are so bad.
I'll get dressed.
Thank you.
All right, it's not a deer, people ! It's just a human ! It's a human being coming through.
Hey ! What the hell are you doing here ? I've got to hunt.
I just feel alive when I'm hunting.
I can't explain it.
You can't take no for an answer.
So I've heard.
- OK, you want to hunt ? - Uh-huh.
- Let's hunt.
- Yay ! Hmm ? So, now what ? Now we wait.
All right.
- So, Dad - Shh ! Oh, I'm sorry.
Wait a minute.
Why, shh ? It means, no talking.
We're hunting.
- But I just - Shh ! I will not, shh ! The only reason that I came hunting is so that we could talk.
That's why I go hunting, because nobody talks ! Well, we wouldn't have to talk right now if you had shared a single feeling with me my entire life ! Oh, for the love of Pete.
Mom, I'm in the middle of something.
I don't know if I wear a medium, I'd have to try it on.
She wants to know if you still wear pleats.
Since when can I have a say in what I wear ? Hang up ! - Will you two shut up ? - You shut up ! I gotta go.
- What do you want from me ? - I want a relationship with you ! I'm not a talker, OK ? That's why I married your mother.
She does enough talking for the both of us.
I'm this high-maintenance mess who's desperate for attention and has to stalk all of her old boyfriends.
All I want is some venison stew ! You know what ? I'm done here.
I don't need you, or your attention, or anything from any man.
I do need this.
I need it.
OK.
Hunting was a disaster.
So now my Dad and I are not only not talking, we are not talking about not talking.
Nice plan, Sam.
Maybe if they let you take back the rifle you could get a fishing boat.
Get a guy in the middle of a lake and he's going to talk to you, and listen to the song you wrote for him.
My dad would jump overboard with an anchor before he talks to me again.
God, he is so stubborn, I just want to kill him.
- Oh, my God.
- Nathan.
- Oh, no.
- Get away ! Help ! She's got a gun ! No, no.
It's not for It's for my dad.
Oh, sorry.
What'd you do ? Tried to win my father's love.
What'd you do ? Broke into a car.
Oh, I can do that ! But I wouldn't.
And I haven't.
- Newly, your ride's here.
- Oh.
I asked Mom to come get me.
I told her I'd do it.
Seatbelt.
Radio OK ? Whatever.
Hey, Sammie, get in.
I called Mom to come.
I said I would.
Just drive before anyone sees us.
Looks nice.
Oh, my God.
They butchered my bangs.
On purpose.
I was the shoo-in for Homecoming Court, but now I am hideous.
No one will care that Abby Kessler went to third base with the entire soccer team, which she didn't, but I worked hard so everyone thought she did so she wouldn't win, but now she will.
God, this is why I wanted to go to a good salon in the city.
You want the radio ? Whatever.
Oh, my God.
I hate this song, and I hate this car, and I hate your shirt, I just I wasn't very easy, was I ? What ? As a teenager.
Well, we got along great when you were a kid.
You were daddy's little girl.
But when you got older - I know.
- You went insane.
I know.
Completely nuts.
I said I know.
Those are called feelings, by the way.
Yeah, well, your mother said it was normal, but, um I just didn't know what to say anymore.
Finally, I guess I stopped trying.
Well, let's make a deal, OK ? I won't try to make you someone that you're not.
And you don't give up on me, OK ? Because I need my daddy.
OK.
- But no more hunting.
- Blecch ! God, no.
So I told my dad about being in jail and he even asked me questions.
That might have been our first actual conversation.
Put the bologna down.
I'm trying to tell you why I don't need attention from men.
I heard you.
So all the crying was about a bad haircut ? Obviously, you haven't had a bad haircut.
Sure, I just put on a hat.
We're not even the same species.
Hey, Frank.
Oh, no, no.
My dad's meeting me.
Do you have kids, Frank ? A daughter.
Do you tell her you love her ? Well, of course I do.
All the time.
Well, good.
Not today.
She was asleep when I left.
Our schedules, you know, they often Oh, here's your dad.
Hey.
Thanks.
- Hey.
I got some ice cream.
- Hmm.
Thanks.
Mint chocolate chip, which if I remember correctly, is high on your list.
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Yeah, Maddie, this is Dad.
So like I was saying, you learn a new thing every day.
Today I learned that you never know how one thing will affect another.
If I hadn't run into Nathan, I never would've gotten closer with my dad.
Hmm, I bet Nathan would find that interesting.
I should call him.