Scandal s07e13 Episode Script

Air Force Two

1 [LAUGHING] What? What's so funny? My speech for the Al Smith dinner.
[CHUCKLES] This Sally Langston bit is gonna kill.
Kill! [CHUCKLES] You haven't checked your e-mail this morning, have you? What? What e-mail? But it's the Al Smith dinner, the time to strut my comedic stuff and get meme'd or whatever and replayed on nightly shows and morning shows and gin up excitement about me within the party and from the donors.
I know what the Al Smith dinner is.
I did it last year, and you will do it next year.
But this year, I need you in Lisbon for the digital piracy summit.
Send Rosen! Rosen can handle it.
Rosen's going, too, but we need a White House presence there.
And I would go, but the fundraiser in Phoenix just got moved up.
Mellie, you don't understand.
My speech is gold, I'm telling you.
Great.
Send it to Jake.
J-Jake.
He's been kind enough to take your place at the dinner.
Yeah, I'll give it my best shot.
Fundraiser in Phoenix got moved up, huh? Well, things change.
Got to adapt.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
I see.
You're pushing me out, trying to take the nomination right out from under You in on this, too, or too dumb to see what he's doing here? Watch it.
No one is out to get you.
Online piracy is a serious crime that harms our economy.
Your participation and leadership in the fight against it is something that you can run on when it is your time.
My time, in case you haven't noticed, it's ever so slowly, bit by bit, becoming his time.
Stop it! It is one stupid speech.
It's not a stupid speech.
It's a damn funny speech.
- [SIGHS] - It's the perfect speech! And to hell if I'm handing it over to this hack.
[DOOR SLAMS] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] David Rosen and Cyrus Beene, heading off to Lisbon to fight pirates.
Digital pirates.
I was trying to make it sound sexy.
Did you pack your Dramamine? I don't need it.
That's what you always say, and then you regret it.
Why don't you think it's sexy? It's a digital piracy summit, David.
Featuring some of the world's greatest legal minds.
We're talking Kerkow, Sherner.
Even Gergenschlag will be there.
Because nothing says "sexy" like a man named Gergenschlag.
Say, you don't have plans Thursday night, do you? No, why? I made us a reservation at Qui.
Uh on Thursday? That place is pretty fancy.
- What's the occasion? - No occasion.
We've both been working a lot.
I thought we could enjoy a nice evening out.
- Sound good? - Sure.
That bastard's gonna propose to me.
You don't know that.
The only reason normal people go to Qui is if they're getting engaged.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you guys aren't technically normal people.
You're Washington A-listers.
- At least David is.
- Oh, thank you for that.
My point is we're not fancy restaurant people, we're takeout people.
Maybe he's just branching out? Maybe.
It is a Thursday.
I mean, who gets engaged on a Thursday, right? Well, you know, it wouldn't be that hard to get to the bottom of this.
Peep the guy's cookies.
Good idea.
Hang on.
Peep his Are you guys talking about hacking David? I was just gonna look at his browser history.
Let me check his credit-card charges.
Unless you don't want us to? I'll take that as a "yes.
" [SIREN WAILS] [SIGHS] Welcome aboard Air Force Two, Mr.
Vice President.
Couldn't get out of this boondoggle either, Molly? I wouldn't miss it for the world, sir.
REPORTER: Ballard will be the guest of honor tonight at the Al Smith dinner, the first chief of staff to have that honor since 1991.
So this is Air Force Two? - It's nice.
- It's a dump.
What? You've got cable, beverages, an unlimited supply of red, white, and blue M&M's.
[CHUCKLES] That's great if you're 10.
Air Force One, that's a plane.
This is a flying fleabag motel full of losers with no way to check-out.
[LAUGHS] Look.
TV doesn't even work.
[RUMBLE] The hell was that? Welcome to the minor leagues, Rosen.
[SIGHS] Sir? The hell, Molly? You're breaking in a rookie pilot? No, sir.
We've lost control of the plane.
M-Mechanical error? There's nothing wrong with the plane, but we don't have control over it, and we've lost all comms to the ground.
So it's stuck in auto-pilot or? No, sir.
Then what? The plane is flying.
Someone is flying the plane.
Who is it? That's just it.
We don't know, sir.
It appears we've been hacked.
A ring-sized purchase at Brett Keith Jewelers, charged to the credit card of one David Rosen.
He also made reservations at six different restaurants before deciding on Qui.
Brett Keith Jewelers? I don't know what's more offensive the fact that David's proposing to me or that he's doing it with a ring he bought at the mall.
This is insane.
It's not that crazy, is it? I mean, it may be fast Yeah, but not that fast if they're in love.
What the hell has happened to you two? You used to be dark and creepy.
Now you're all fluffy, which to be clear, might be even creepier.
Abby! You're going to want to come see this.
[KEYPAD BEEPING] What is all this? Happy birthday, Mom.
What? Today is The 27th.
Well, look at that.
I got your favorite pan-seared foie gras to start - Ooh.
- followed by blanquette de veau - Mmm.
- and then a cheese souffle.
Oh, and some du Bellay because, well, go hard or go home.
Or go to the hospital.
[CHUCKLES] There's no way I'm going to finish all this food.
You don't have to.
You? Staying here and eating with me? Yes.
Why? Really? I used to love when it was your birthday.
I could spend days thinking about what I would get you.
And then I would make you a card and, every year, you would act surprised.
[CORK POPS] Every year.
[CELLPHONE CHIMING] - You gonna get that? - No.
No? What if it's important? It's not.
Don't you have some Supreme Court case to deal with? [SIGHS] [CHIMING CONTINUES] The only thing I have to do today [CELLPHONE CLATTERS] is celebrate with my mother on her birthday, okay? At this time, we are hesitant to refer to the situation as an attack.
As far as we know, we may be dealing with something as innocuous as mechanical failure.
We can confirm, however, that among the passengers on the unresponsive aircraft are Vice President Cyrus Beene and Attorney General David Rosen.
Now, I'll do my best to answer what questions I can.
Ashley.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] How could this happen? How could we lose Air Force Two? Details are still coming in.
The plane is still on its original course, but we've lost the ability to communicate with them.
We've tried re-establishing a satellite connection, and there's been no response to an emergency transponder squawk.
And the vice president and the passengers, are they okay? There's no way to tell.
They could be incapacitated or fine.
- We just don't know.
- We do know it's not a glitch.
Before it went dark, Air Force Two's ACARS system put them at 90 degrees north, 0 degrees east the North Pole.
Someone's idea of a joke.
So the plane is under someone else's control.
NSA DIRECTOR: In all likelihood, we're looking at a hostage or kidnapping scenario.
If it is, we can expect to receive demands from the people responsible.
I'll need intelligence to compile responses and tactical solutions if it is a hostage scenario.
Madam President, without a response from the plane's systems or crew, it's impossible to know if they're even receiving our signals.
We could just be shouting into the wind.
Then be creative.
There's got to be a way to get word to and from that plane.
Find it.
CYRUS: Everyone, please.
Your suggestions are appreciated, but as the colonel explained, any communication with the ground is simply impossible at this point.
I insisted we explain the full situation to you so that you wouldn't be kept in the dark, making an alarming situation even scarier.
Now, you know what we know.
We're in this together.
However, we're not alone.
I assure you, the White House is on this.
MARIA: How do you know that? [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] [SIGHS] The GPS is also down.
They would've been alerted as soon as that occurred.
Now, Maria, can you please turn the phone off, hand it to Agent Grayson.
Sorry, Mr.
Vice President, but I'm still on the clock.
GRAYSON: I'm afraid I must insist.
Same goes for everyone else.
The malware that locked us out was introduced from inside the plane.
It's likely someone's phone or laptop was infected before they came aboard.
DAVID: As a precaution, the crew will be going around collecting all of your devices.
We thank you for your cooperation.
[MURMURING] - This is all my fault.
- I beg your pardon? I think I brought the virus onto the plane.
You? How? Yesterday morning, my laptop went missing.
I know you think I'm always losing things, so So you didn't say anything? I went for coffee, and when I came back, it was on my desk.
I figured someone found it.
[SOBBING] Hannah, I need you to think very carefully.
Who was in my office while all of this was happening? [ALARM BLARES] They're turning around.
Maybe the pilots have regained control of the plane.
In the event of any emergency, protocol is to proceed to the nearest commercial airport.
That would be Logan.
At its current approach, it's headed directly to D.
C.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] That's why there have been no ransom demands.
They're using the plane as a missile.
This isn't a kidnapping.
It's an attack.
- Rosen! Get in here.
- They said you took a spill.
Ah, business end of a table.
- Sir - It's just a cut.
I-I'll be fine.
Here, sit down.
I need to talk to you.
Thank you, Colonel.
You can go now.
[DOOR CLOSES] I know where the virus came from.
You do? It was Hannah.
Her laptop went missing from the White House yesterday, then magically reappeared.
And what did Secret Service say? - I never gave it to them.
- You never gave it to them? - Sir - Be quiet.
Well, why didn't you give it to them? Because I think this is Jake Ballard's doing.
Jake Ballard, as in the president's Chief of Staff? That Jake Ballard? He and I have been at each other's throats lately.
And get this Hannah's laptop went missing around the same time Ballard stopped by my office to discuss talking points for the summit.
Ballard's ex-NSA.
Literally nobody in this country has more in the way of means or opportunity to pull off a stunt like this.
He wants me out.
But only Congress can remove a VP, so Boom.
Problem solved.
But he and I get along just fine.
Clearly you don't matter.
The point is, I don't trust him, nor do I trust Secret Service or anyone else who collects a paycheck signed by the federal government.
If we're gonna survive this, we need some help from our civilian friends, people who actually care if we live or die.
Those people are out there, and we're in here without Internet or any other way of reaching them.
We're gonna need to fix that, then, aren't we? The virus? You have it? The virus is on this laptop.
We need you to take it off this laptop and send it to someone.
Should Colonel Fleisher be in this briefing? We can't trust Colonel Fleisher, Lieutenant.
We can't trust anyone.
Lieutenant, there must be some way to send out an e-mail, a text The National Weather Service! W-We've been getting updates from the National Weather Service, which means their antenna must still be working.
If I can connect one of the Wi-Fi routers to the NWS antenna, I may be able to Will it work, Lieutenant? It'll be slow.
Not dial-up slow, but Yes, sir.
- It has to, sir.
- All right.
[BEEPING] Are you serious? 16 intelligence-gathering agencies and no one has any idea who's behind this? It's got to be North Korea.
Kids there are taught how to hack starting in kindergarten.
- [COMPUTER BEEPING] - Is that - The firewall.
- What's happening? Someone's uploading malware to our network.
It's going through.
It's working.
Except drat.
Drat? Drat what? Their firewall caught it.
It could kill the virus before they know what they have.
Can you attach a message? Tell them this is the virus that hijacked Air Force Two, that they can use it to free the plane, and tell them not to trust the White House.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] Wait, we should add one more thing, something specific so they know this is coming from us.
Any suggestion? This is the last thing we need today.
Quarantine it and destroy it.
Wait! Everyone stop.
Another upload's coming through.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] Who the hell's Gergenschlag? Oh, it's David! - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] [SIGHS] And now we wait.
[SIGHS] ACEVEDO: They're approximately 1,600 miles due east, still on a direct trajectory to D.
C.
At its current air speed, it'll reach us in 3 hours, 20 minutes.
Where are we on tracing the hack? Every team is engaged.
Still nothing.
Andrews has two F-15s on standby, awaiting orders to scramble.
I know.
We may need to shoot this plane down.
AVECEDO: Should I give the order for take-off? Clear the room.
Now! I want Air Force Two on the ground right now.
- So do I.
- Do you? Because four seconds ago, you made a plan to destroy it.
We have to plan for the worst.
It doesn't mean we stop trying.
You're telling me that B613, the NSA, every asset we have in our entire cyber war chest can't stop one hacker? We're doing everything we can.
Are you, or is this your way of taking out the trash? I know you.
Jake, I know your history.
I know how you feel about Cyrus.
There's this stuff called RS-522.
2 milliliters stops your heart in 10 seconds.
With Cyrus's history of heart trouble, no one would blink an eye if he dropped dead from a heart attack.
Why would I do all of this, make this big show and kill a dozen innocent people, when two drops in a glass of water would do the exact same thing and give the conspiracy theorists a hell of a lot less to chew on? Maybe because you got a thing for planes.
Isn't that how you killed Rashad, after all? Right? Maybe it's your fetish.
Maybe you get off on it.
Madam President, give the order.
Scramble the fighter jets.
That is the only call you can make here.
Really? How about this call? I want you out of my Sit Room.
I don't want you anywhere near this.
I will deal with you later.
The virus is designed to piggy-back onto Air Force Two's satellite signal and reroute its controls to the hacker's location.
Which means the bad guy's IP address is imbedded somewhere in its code.
We find it and we pull the plug, we save the day.
Easier said than done.
It's a needle in a haystack.
Can't you just go to "Edit" - and click on "Find?" - No.
It's half a million lines of code, Abby.
Well, maybe I can help.
I'm a really fast reader.
I just need to know what we're looking for.
We've got this.
Abby, we are going to bring David home, but you need to let us work now.
Maybe you should wait in your office, and I'll keep you posted, I promise.
Are you serious? Don't talk to me like I'm some woman, like I need a fainting couch to keep from being a mess on the floor.
- I want to help! - I know you do, but you can't.
And you know that, too.
[ALL TYPING] I couldn't reach Olivia on her cell.
Should I try her at home? No, it's fine.
Thank you, Rachel.
So, yeah, I was worried about Annalise at first, but there's no way that case would've gotten heard without her.
She has so much passion and Why are you here? Excuse me? You can't play a player.
So tell me, why are you here? I'm here because it's your birthday, and I wanted to make it special.
With some basic French food and this dry-ass souffle? If you wanted to give me real French cuisine, you'd get me a first-class ticket to Paris, a suitcase full of money, and one of those fancy coats you be wearing.
And you'd let me get out of this prison.
Is it guilt? Is that why you're here? You went all the way to the Supreme Court to free all those black people, and you let your own mother be in prison.
Kind of ironic.
Or maybe just hypocritical.
Wow.
I really thought I could come here and just have one day, one damn lovely day with my mother, because it's her birthday.
It's not my birthday! - What? - [CHUCKLES] Why do you think I was surprised every year when you would come in and say, "Happy birthday, Mommy!" I had so many aliases back then.
Hell, I couldn't remember which was which, so I just let you tell me, and I went with it.
Don't act surprised.
You knew that.
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, please.
You're a smart girl, Livvie.
If you thought about it for one second, you would've realized this a long time ago.
But no, you like living in a fantasy world with a mommy who talks to you in a baby voice.
[HIGH-PITCHED] Mommy's so proud of you.
Mommy knows how hard this must be for you.
Come cry on Mommy's shoulder.
[NORMAL VOICE] Is that what you want? [SIGHS] - MAYA: What's the matter? - [CELLPHONE BEEPS] Mommy hurt your feelings? [CELLPHONE BEEPING, BUZZING] What is it? They've been repeating the same information for an hour.
- [CELLPHONE RINGING] - You think they'd have something new by now.
It's the White House.
Mellie? Well, my day's been pretty crappy.
Yeah, so I've been seeing.
I'm a little surprised you called.
I figured you'd be busy.
Yeah, honestly I'm not sure why I called.
If I had to guess, maybe you just want to be on the phone with someone who knows how it feels to be president.
Maybe.
You want me to tell you what I would do? No.
[SCOFFS] Figured.
Thanks, Fitz.
Madam President.
[SIGHS] It's getting serious between you two, isn't it? Red uh, Abby? I think so, or I am, anyway.
She can be tough to read.
Well, you have good taste, Rosen, I'll give you that.
And you're right to be serious about her.
You should be serious.
You shouldn't, for one second, take a woman like that for granted.
The second you do, you lose her.
- Trust me.
- [JET ENGINES ROARING] Uh-oh.
[JET ENGINES ROARING] F-15s.
Any chance they're here to escort us to safety? This means one thing and one thing only Ballard's winning.
No one pulls the trigger without my say-so, understood? We are implementing emergency procedures as a precaution.
Okay, questions? [REPORTERS SHOUTING] Has President Grant spoken to Vice President Beene? All communication with the aircraft is down.
Are the hackers targeting the White House? We are prepared for every possible contingency.
Ashley.
What about the rumors that President Grant has fighter jets scrambled? As I've said, we are prepared for every possible contingency.
Hey.
Quinn sent me to give you an update.
Uh, I wrote a script that will parse out logic loops in order to We're still working on it.
- It could be any second.
- Or it could be never.
We're going as fast as we can, Abby.
- Faster than a missile from an F-15? - You don't know that What do you think "Don't trust the White House" meant? I used to be the press secretary.
You use a phrase like "exploring all available options" to cover your ass, because you've already made a decision a bad one.
If David had asked me to marry him, I would've done the same thing.
Blown him up with a missile? I would've said that I'd think about it, let him think that the decision was much tougher than it actually was.
It would've covered my ass so that hopefully it wouldn't hurt so badly when I had to break his heart.
He's not a bad guy.
He's not at all.
I know what you went through before, and maybe the problem is that you don't have any good memories of being married.
Maybe you just need some new ones memories.
Well, I guess I'm in luck, because David's plane is about to be shot out of the sky.
That, I'll remember.
I'm gonna have that memory till the day I die.
We need to talk to the president.
- No.
- We have a signal.
If we tell the president the truth - The truth does not help us! - What are you talking about? Jake Ballard has seized control of Air Force Two! He's steering it towards Washington! If we talk to the president, if she knows he's doing this She'll what? Tell the NSA? He hand-picked his successor.
He controls her.
He controls everything.
I get your aversion to being blown out of the sky.
It's an awful ending to an awful story.
Even worse than that is being used as a bomb against your own citizens.
That's what happens if we call Mellie and screw with her head.
She'll hesitate, try to talk to Jake.
We'll lose time.
She'll doubt herself.
Next thing you know, we're plummeting towards Dupont Circle at 600 miles per hour.
Instead of 39 funerals, it's thousands.
Your friends are smart.
They might still pull through.
But? But we need to prepare for the worst.
So, this is strange.
I turned on my phone earlier, and for a second, I thought I got Wi-Fi.
You have a phone? I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to confiscate that.
Look.
I know you have a job to do, but so do I.
So if you have a working Wi-Fi router on this plane, if there is a signal, send it to the main cabin.
Please.
People have a right to know what happened here.
It's time to take your seat, ma'am.
Thank you.
WOMAN ON PA: All passengers, please take your seats and fasten your seat belts.
[SEAT BELTS CLICKING] [SIGHS] Well, gang, I have no doubt the White House will be working up to the last possible second to bring us home safely, but here we are.
[CHUCKLES] I can't imagine many of you said goodbye to your loved ones this morning thinking you'd never see them again.
I know I didn't.
If I had known where we'd be right now, I'd have called my daughter.
Hell, I'd even have called my ex, told him everything he was right about that I never wanted to admit.
But actually, I-I'm not here right now to talk about regrets.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] I'm here to talk about patriotism.
I know that sounds kind of old and crusty of me, but hear me out.
We live in a time where very little is asked of us as citizens.
We take our freedoms for granted, all those unencumbered choices we make each day in the course of pursuing our individual happiness, how and whether we worship, who we love, what we say, write, and read, even whether or not we trust our own government.
We believe we are owed those freedoms.
And we forget that freedom itself has enemies, enemies who would like to see our beautiful, brave, pluralistic society reduced to a regime built upon fear, violence, and oppression.
At this moment in history, fewer than 1 in 10 Americans have taken up arms for their country.
As individuals in this proudly individualistic nation, vanishingly few of us are called upon to serve.
Today, for every one of us on this plane together, that has changed.
We may not know the banner under which this plane has been hijacked, but we can be certain that whomever is behind this attack is an enemy of freedom.
Those jets outside represent our government's commitment to protecting our country and its citizens.
Unfortunately today, it may be their duty to take measures to prevent this plane from crashing in a major population center, killing thousands of Americans on the ground.
I know none of us would have chosen this ending for ourselves, which is why I hope we can think of it as an honorable one.
Our sacrifice will help keep our fellow citizens safe.
It will keep our country safe.
We all have things to live for.
This is something to die for.
[VOICE BREAKING] I'm proud to do that with all of you, my fellow Americans.
Really? No one is answering their phones right now? Why don't you have a seat and calm down? I can't calm down because you know what the protocol is - when a plane gets hijacked, right? - To shoot it down.
- Exactly.
- So? They're gonna handle it the way they handle it.
Don't worry about something you can't control.
- [SCOFFS] - Take a seat, Livvie.
Come on.
Take a seat.
Take it easy and relax.
[BREATHING DEEPLY] Mommy's so proud of you.
[HIGH-PITCHED] Mommy knows how hard this must be for you.
Come cry on Mommy's shoulder.
What is wrong with you? Do you think I enjoy playing this game with you, my only child? But you don't like to listen.
It's unbecoming.
Straight-up embarrassing.
I raised you to be better than this, and instead, you're crying over the people who kicked you out of that White House, worried about what's going to happen to them.
Who gives a damn? You went down, and so will they.
How about we stop celebrating these fake-ass birthdays and start celebrating that? Where are you going? Tell me you had absolutely nothing to do with this.
I had nothing to do with this.
Give me an order.
Tell me what you need from me.
I have, and always will, serve at the pleasure of the president.
[SIGHS] I give us 5, 10 minutes tops before they give the order to shoot.
We're running out of ocean fast.
We keep trying, no matter what.
Yes, sir.
Sedative? Dramamine.
I always think my stomach's stronger than it is.
Abby knows that.
She must have slipped this in my pocket before I left this morning.
Maybe she's not that tough to read after all.
[ALARM BLARING] One minute out.
It'll be on your order, Madam President.
Stand by to fire.
[JET ENGINES ROAR] [GASPS] What was that? They pulled the jets back.
They're in position to shoot now.
[SIGHS] - 30 seconds.
- Madam President, we have to - She knows, General.
- Quiet! It's been a pleasure serving with you, Mr.
Vice President.
Mr.
Attorney General, likewise.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] - I'm in! - You're in? - He's in.
- [GASPS] Does that mean - We still have to kill it! - Move! Try communicating with the plane again.
Madam President A moment ago, they were broadcasting video, damn it.
Try them one more time! Air Force Two, do you copy? Air Force Two, do you copy? [ALL SHOUTING] Air Force Two, do you copy? [RADIO STATIC] Air Force Two, do you copy? [DOORBELL RINGS] [SIGHS] Abby Just do it right now.
W-W-What? I wasn't okay with it, but I thought it over and then your plane almost crashed - and now I'm okay with it, I think.
- Abby But you have to just ask, don't try to pretty it up.
No "do me the honor" or "rest of my life" or "happiest man in the world" and definitely no knee.
- Abby - You don't need to show me the ring.
This isn't a jewelry commercial.
And don't wait for the restaurant.
I don't want to feel like I'm performing for strangers.
Anyway, when's gonna be a better time than right now, when you almost died but didn't and it's a beautiful night to be alive and I am so happy to see you? So just do it right now.
I-I'm not proposing, Abby.
[SCOFFS] But the trip to the jewelry store It's my mom's birthday.
Reservations at six restaurants You're a picky eater.
You're a picky eater, you hoard hotel soap, you think podcasts are creepy, you wear wool socks to bed, and when you were younger, you made a mistake and ended up in a marriage that made you very, very unhappy.
I know you, Abby.
I wouldn't propose to you unless I wanted to lose you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] [GIGGLES] Trains and boats and planes are passing by You made the right call.
I know.
Now, do you want to know what I would've done? Nope, I really don't.
[LAUGHS] For someone else but not for me [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] Just hours ago, it seemed certain that Vice President Cyrus Beene was about to fall victim to the most audacious terrorist attack in American history.
But in the accounts of fellow passengers, Beene emerges less as the ordeal's victim than its hero.
When the rest of us were panicking, he was totally calm.
Beene also had pride of place in President Grant's remarks this evening.
Finally, I want to thank the vice president.
The fortitude he demonstrated today was exactly why I chose him for the office.
It's what makes him so extraordinary in that office.
It's why I expect his future will be only more extraordinary.
[REPORTERS SHOUTING] Trina.
You are from another part of the world You had to go back awhile and then The hell is this? You said you soon would return again [CELLPHONE RINGING] I'm waiting here, but where are you OLIVIA: Do you like the coat? Funny joke, Livvie.
It's not a joke.
Read the card.
Oh, trains and boats and planes took you away - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] But every time I see them I pray What is this? It's your one-way ticket to Paris, along with a Swiss bank account number with enough money for you to eat only the finest French cuisine every day for the rest of your life.
Girl, what are you doing? I'm giving you what you want.
I don't want to play this messed-up version of Mommy and Me anymore.
I can't dress you up and make you play with me on your fake spy birthday.
You're right, it's unbecoming, embarrassing.
And I am better than that.
So congratulations, Mom.
You won.
The trains and the boats and planes Yeah.
You know My birthday really is on the 27th.
You are from another part of the world Then happy birthday, Mom.
You had to go back awhile and then [CELLPHONE BEEPS] You said you soon would return again I'm waiting here like I promised to I'm waiting here, but where are you [HUMMING] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] Liv! You are so kind for stopping by.
Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.
Still waiting for my nerves to settle, but I think I'm gonna be okay.
Hm? What? Why settle for Air Force Two? I'm sorry? Well, I [LAUGHS] Terrorism is spectacle, and you have the will and the means to hijack an executive military aircraft.
Why settle and hack Air Force Two when you could hack Air Force One? I can't help you understand the attack, Liv.
All I did was survive it.
And then live on into your "extraordinary future.
" Mellie was too kind.
She didn't mention Jake at all in that speech.
Poor guy.
[SIGHS] Yeah.
Missed the Al Smith dinner and everything.
- Sucks for him.
- Almost sucked for you.
I mean, those F-15s must have been, what, seconds away from unleashing fiery death on you and all the people in that plane? Hell of a gamble, Cy.
Gambling's for fools, Liv.
Well, it's just a bit premature, don't you think? Staging all this, making yourself a national hero, for what? Your presidential bid seven years from now? Seven years? You think Mellie will be out in three? Oof.
Still a very long time, isn't it? You know me, Liv.
I'm a man of many virtues.
Patience ain't one of them.
What are you planning to do, Cyrus? Thanks for stopping by.
What are you planning to do? Always a pleasure.
[SCOFFS] Always a pleasure, Mr.
Vice President.