Scenes from a Marriage (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

Innocence and Panic

- Jess, it's this way.
- Oh, sorry.
What time
are you thinking for lunch?
- Uh, one, maybe?
- Okay.
Yeah, I know,
it looks just great. Love it.
Here you go. Thanks.
Hi. Thanks.
You're welcome.
Quiet, please, everyone. Hey.
- Standby to roll, guys.
- Okay.
Okay. That's it.
Let's get slate in.
Here you go.
And action!
Hey, I'm just gonna
check on her.
I've never
seen anything like it!
Heavens above, Gromit!
Hi. I'm
I'm Mira. It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
I'm Danielle.
- Everything okay?
- Mm-hmm.
Should we get started?
So, Mira.
I don't know if you remember me
from drop-off?
I babysit Iris and Sadie.
- Oh, um
- Yeah.
- I'm not sure, I right.
- Yeah. So, um
Well, I believe
Jonathan told you
a bit about my study,
in general?
- Um
- Well, it's for my PhD in Gender Studies and Psych
- at Tufts.
- Oh, okay.
I'm looking at how
evolving gender norms
- affect monogamous marriages.
- Okay.
Okay. Um
So, to complete the formalities,
just confirming your pronouns?
He, him, his.
- She, um
- She, her, hers.
Mine are she/her, too.
Um okay.
So, yeah.
The first question
is pretty open,
it's for either one of you.
How would you define yourself?
- Define?
- I dunno
Def Like, describe?
- Well, define.
- Right.
I'm I'm actually
interested in the
- the elements
- Mm-hmm.
that constitute
your self-definition.
The elements that constitute
- Go first.
- your self-definition.
That's, um
you could think of it like this.
What, um, attributes
couldn't you imagine
yourself without?
That's interesting.
Uh, okay. Let me think.
Actually, if it's okay,
just say whatever comes to mind.
Okay. Uh, I'm a man.
I'm Jewish.
That's weird, right?
- That's so weird.
- That's strange.
I went blank,
that's the first thing
- that came into my head.
- Great, yes.
- That's exactly the idea.
- Yes. Right. Okay.
- Um, I'm, uh, a father to Ava
- Mm-hmm.
who's four years old,
as you know.
Um I'm an academic.
Uh, I should've said that first,
- Mm-hmm.
- It's a big part of my
- self-definition.
- Mm-hmm.
I teach in the philosophy department at Tufts.
What else?
I'm, uh, 41.
- I'm a Democrat.
- Yeah.
I'm an asthmatic.
Whoa. You feel your asthma
defines you?
- Yeah.
- Really?
Yeah. Well, if you go through
your whole life
threatened with the possibility
of suffocating, then yeah,
you know, it becomes part
of your self-definition.
- Okay.
- What?
No. Nothing, babe.
It's it's interesting.
- Really.
- Is it?
- Yes.
- Okay.
And Mira,
how would you
Right. I Okay. Me.
I am a woman.
- I'm married.
- Correct.
I am a mother.
- Mm-hmm.
- I am 40.
I Not quite,
but that's definitely
my self-definition, 40.
I'm, uh in tech.
I'm, uh, VP of
product management at Horizon.
I know that doesn't mean much
to most people,
- but, you know
- She's a big shot.
- Trust me.
- Yeah
Um, okay, what else?
I'm a mother, obviously.
You said that, don't worry.
Oh, good.
Is that enough?
unless there's anything else
you'd like to add?
- Oh, no. I'm good.
- Yeah.
I wonder, for instance,
if you'd like to add something
um, about how you divide
household and caregiving
- Right. Yes. Um
- in that context?
So, I forgot to mention
she's interested in couples
where the woman
is the primary provider.
- Yeah. Well, um
- Oh.
- Right? Is that
- Yeah, I wouldn't exactly
- put it that way, but it's
- Oh, yes. Sorry.
I'm not I'm not I'm not
trying to give away your thesis.
That's that's fine.
Uh, anyway, yes.
So, for the most part,
I do take care of Ava
during the week.
- Um
- Well, uh
Well, being in academia,
as you know,
I have very flexible hours
and I can work from home.
Mira, she works long days and
- has to travel for work.
- And I make it up to them on the weekends.
- Yeah, and you make it home for bedtime, when you can.
- Yeah.
And has this always been your arrangement,
in terms of childcare?
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Well, yeah. I had
Well, I had to take
- an extra-long maternity leave.
- Yes.
And, um, you know,
I'm still paying for it at work.
Of course. Yeah.
And my company is going public
later this year,
- so that's why there's so much extra travel.
- Yeah, and it's also, like,
I'm not making a big, uh,
heroic sacrifice or anything.
- No.
- We have our babysitter, Veronica,
and she does extra hours,
uh, on the, you know,
on the days
that I'm underwater at work.
- Sure.
- And look, it'd be great
if academia paid
as well as tech does,
- but it doesn't
- It doesn't, no.
so this arrangement
makes perfect sense.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
It sounds like
we're apologizing for it. Maybe.
- No, not at all.
- Yeah. No, we're proud of it.
Babe. Don't.
Okay. So, at this point,
I'd like to
hear a little bit
about your history.
I know that you've been married
for almost ten years.
How long were you together
before that?
It's like two years and change,
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Twelve years total.
- Mm-hmm.
- And how did you meet?
- You should be the one to tell the story.
- No.
It's way more entertaining.
Come on.
Is Can you tell me
how this is part of the study?
Um, well, it's valuable
in the context
of the gender perceptions
you had at the beginning
of the relationship.
Okay. I just I've
I was under the impression
that this is gonna be
more like multiple choice.
Sorry, no.
I'll tell it. It's actually
It's a good story.
- And, uh
- Mm-hmm.
You can just interject
when I get melodramatic.
So, we met at Columbia.
Um, we went there,
we were in a seminar together,
English lit.
So, um, we spent three hours
a week in a tiny little room,
uh, but at this point,
there was no way
- that we would have ever
- No.
I should mention that I was
still Orthodox at the time.
- Oh?
- Yeah. Yes.
I, uh, I grew up
in a Modern Orthodox
- Jewish family.
- Mm-hmm.
So up until that point,
up until college, my education
had been mostly single-sex,
I'd never touched a woman.
So the whole thing
was pretty overwhelming,
um, me with my black yarmulke
and white button-down shirts,
and all these young women
in their little tank tops.
And Mira specifically
was like a campus celebrity.
She was dating a member
of a big rock band at the time,
that needless to say
I'd never heard of.
No, they were
they weren't really rock,
and they weren't big.
You've probably heard of them,
Saraband? Lucas McRae?
- Oh, wow.
- Uh, yeah.
I just thought I thought
of Mira as kind of a
- A what?
- No, no, no.
- No. Tell me. I wanna
- Yeah, it it
it's just that you were
as far away from my world
as it as it got, you know.
And anyway, I was already
engaged to a girl
that I grew up with
near Long Island.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- So how did it happen?
- Uh, well, she just
just walked up to me one day
and, um
This part you should tell.
Um, okay. So I was in a, um
a theater group in school,
and we were doing this one play
by Bashevis Singer, and
An adaptation of
Enemies, A Love Story.
- Hmm.
- Right.
And, um, so I was doing all
this research on Orthodox Jews.
I was very serious about acting
in college.
- Oh, yeah.
- And so I just went up to him
one day after class, and I asked
if I could talk to him,
- and he just he seemed completely horrified
- I was, yeah, paralyzed.
Yeah. But I was
very committed to this role.
So committed
that she got completely naked
- halfway through the play.
- No! Not completely.
And I'd already started
the process
of, uh, leaving my religion.
But, uh, no, that that
that show was
definitely a milestone.
Mm. You mean
you actually started dating?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not until years later.
Yeah. Yeah,
I was already here in Boston,
and I was, uh,
creeping around
on her Myspace page,
and I saw
that she was moving here
and that she was looking
for an apartment share.
So we became roommates.
And from there, it progressed.
And who initiated that?
I think it was both of us?
- Yeah.
- Right?
I had just come out of a series
of relationships
which were
borderline abusive.
And I guess
that I was addicted to that,
and I and I was
Uh, I had a job that I could
care less about.
And Jonathan
was the complete opposite.
Uh, he was everything
that I wanted to be.
He had values, and purpose.
- It's true.
- Yeah, well. Yeah, I
It's ironic because this was
at the height of my
existential dread.
After I left my religion,
I just had these years
of loneliness and
So when did it happen?
Well, it happened
thanks to the asthma, actually.
The asthma?
Yeah. There was this one time
we were coming back from the ER,
I'd had a very severe attack,
and the, um, the doctor
he mistook us
for a married couple,
and, uh we liked it,
and we came home
and we kept playing at it.
And, um
and then it happened.
That's great.
That's perfect.
So All right.
- Now, I'd like to hear
- It's almost over.
a bit about, in your opinion,
what is the primary factor
contributing to the success
of your marriage?
- Hmm.
- I I'll let you take this.
Could you actually tell us what
the definition of success is
that you're working with?
Yeah. Well, uh, first of all,
it means that
you're still together.
- Uh
- That's a low bar.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, does our ten years
make us statistical outliers?
Well, if we ignore
all the socioeconomic
and race parameters, then yes.
The average marriage in the US
is 8.2 years.
Okay. Well then
shouldn't you ask first
if subjectively that
if we perceive our marriage
to be a success at all?
Well, um, sure.
Yeah, if you can
Yeah, I'm only saying
that because I feel like
that word, "success,"
is kind of emblematic
of a larger
cultural misconception
about marriage.
- Yeah.
- It's become this project, right?
This thing that you work on,
"We're working on our marriage."
- It's this
- Mm.
multibillion-dollar industry.
There's, you know,
self-help books,
- and couples therapy
- Right.
and workshops, and podcasts,
and apps, and TV shows.
It's a huge business.
And you see that as a problem?
Look, maybe it's because
of my background,
but I just think
it's so obvious that that
Western culture,
consumer culture,
has very purposefully created
these completely
irrational expectations
that marriage must,
at all times, be based
on passion, on sex,
on relentless
emotional intensity,
when it's so obvious that
these things stem from novelty,
so the whole concept's
a complete fallacy.
- Right. Okay.
- Mm.
So then,
well, what is
what's your concept?
I think I think we both see
marriage as a means.
It's not an end.
Right? I think we see it
as a platform
- Mm-hmm.
- where we both can, uh
that allows us to develop
as individuals.
We're both really passionate
about the work we do, and
and our partnership gives us
the safe ground to do it,
and to
raise a daughter
and have a family.
Mira, what about you?
Um, sorry, what was the
The question was about
your perception
Right. Our success.
Um, well, I agree with what
Jonathan said.
I mean, we we come
- Hi.
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, oh. What is it?
- Whoa!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Danielle. Remember me?
- Who's that?
- What's wrong, honey bunny?
- It's over.
Oh. Okay.
- Sorry, give us a second.
- Of course.
Come on. I'll put another one
on for you, okay?
- Take your time, no worries.
- Why can't I watch it
here with you on the iPad?
- We'll be right back.
- Because, silly goose,
we're having a little meeting,
but then It's okay.
I'm just I'm gonna stay
with her and watch.
I got it, I got it.
I got it, sweetie.
- No, I'm gonna
- You're in the middle of your answer.
Yeah, but I'm dying to get this
over with. Come on. I'm
I know, but it's just
gonna be a little longer.
- She said an hour at the most.
- Daddy.
Okay, sweetie,
I'm gonna put it on.
What's wrong?
Have fun.
Just one second, patience.
- Sorry about that.
- No, no, it's fine.
- I know exactly how it is.
- Yeah.
I'm so grateful
to you both for doing this.
It's so hard finding subjects
for research,
especially straight men,
Well, lucky for you,
Jonathan loves
- talking about his theories.
- Hmm.
Well, what's yours?
Well, um
I think about it in terms of
an equilibrium.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. I think that
in marriage, there is
this very delicate equilibrium
and that, um, you have to
maintain it together.
And what
do you mean by equilibrium?
Well, you know, at the beginning
of a relationship,
everything's thrilling
and it's new
and you feel as a couple
that nothing can hurt you.
And then you gradually
start to realize that actually,
anything can hurt you.
- I'm gonna go check on them.
- Okay.
- I'll be right back.
- Sure.
- Hey.
- Good? Yeah.
Sorry, the Wi-Fi was,
uh, messed up.
It wasn't loading.
We have another half an hour
while she watches this one.
- Perfect.
- Okay. All right.
Okay. Great.
Thank you.
Yes, I'd like to hear about
your attitudes towards monogamy.
Um, to what extent do you see
yourselves committed
to each other exclusively?
Well, what do you mean?
I mean sexually.
I would say
it was very unexpected.
Well? What did I miss?
- Oh, God.
- Basically, she asked
if they're fucking other people.
- That's a little intrusive, no?
- Yeah.
- Why?
- Well, maybe not for you,
but how did you agree
to do this?
I didn't. Jonathan agreed,
and he dragged me into it.
I didn't drag you into it.
- You did. Yes.
- No, I didn't.
You did. He met her
at Ava's preschool.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
For the twins, she takes care
of the twins that go there.
So she told him all about it,
and he couldn't help advancing
his theories
on how capitalism
ruins marriages.
It's true.
- Jonathan.
- Word needs to get out.
Getting friendly with
the younger women at pickup?
- Come on.
- Uh-huh.
- That is true.
- He's taking advantage of his sexy dad factor.
She's a student.
She's a student. Please.
But, wait,
what is the research about?
I'm kidding.
I'm totally kidding.
I think that I think
her thesis is basically that
when the woman
is the primary provider
and the man
is the primary caregiver,
the marriage has
a greater chance of "success."
- Mm.
- Really?
Apparently, there's research
that says that the woman's
level of satisfaction
is the crucial element
in determining the long-term
stability of a marriage.
Huh. You hear that, Kate?
Loud and clear.
why is she choosing
to follow long-term
monogamous couples?
I would expect more out of
a millennial psych student.
Yeah, apparently, uh,
divorce has been researched
to death, so
Yeah, but there's so many
other relationship models.
I mean, it's a new era.
Take us, for example.
- She should have met with us.
- Yeah. Well, you know, I'm happy to give her your number, Peter,
if you're interested, as she's
desperate for research subjects.
By all means. I think she could
benefit a lot from us.
Wait. But she's interested in
successful marriages.
I think that rules us out, baby.
I don't think that's true.
Okay. Hey. I'm sorry.
Wait. So how was,
uh, how was Boulder?
- Oh, yeah.
- It was good.
We we won the pitch.
- Hey, that's great.
- No!
- Cheers. Congrats. Fantastic.
- Thank you, guys.
Yeah, actually, we killed it.
You know, I don't think
they were, uh,
looking for a boutique company,
but they fell in love
with Kate's demos.
Of course they did.
She's a genius.
There's no better web designer
on the entire East Coast.
- No.
- I've said that
- multiple times.
- No argument here.
And, you know, I didn't fuck up
the presentation too badly, so.
- Well, good. Good on you.
- You sure? You sure?
We were
a well-oiled machine.
That's great, guys.
I'm jealous of you.
I am. I get jealous of them.
I just think that, like,
a couple that can
work together is
Don't be too jealous.
No, I'm sure it's not
always easy, but when it works,
- that's like the paradigm.
- Easy? I mean, the fact that
we got through Boulder without
killing each other is a miracle.
Let's not do this now, Kate.
Why not? What's the problem?
- This is not the time for it.
Okay. So, when we're alone,
it's not the time either.
Maybe you can give some thought
to when the right time might be.
- Just stop, okay?
- Okay. Fine.
Okay. Let's go home.
- No! What are you talking about?
- We're playing make-believe.
- Kate. Let's not ruin it.
- Don't leave.
- What's going on, Peter?
- It's nothing important,
it's just the usual
drama about
Don't say it's not
important. No. Fuck you.
What's going on
is Nathan broke up with me,
and I'm extremely depressed
about it.
Peter can't deal with it.
He won't talk about it.
So that's what's going on. And
- Kate. Cut it out.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
Cut it out?
You cut it out. All of these
I'm so sick of this
social fascism.
- Social fascism.
- All these bullshit empty conversations.
I'm allowed
to talk about everything
but the most important thing
going on in my life.
I'm not gonna do it anymore.
Maybe they don't really
feel like hearing about it,
- have you considered that?
- No, no.
You're the only one that doesn't
wanna hear about it.
Because you'd rather wallow
in your passive-aggressive bullshit resentment,
you can't
admit that you're hurting,
that it hurts,
- and just talk to me about it.
- Yeah, I'm hurt, okay?
I'm very hurt. I admit it. Okay.
- Can we end this now?
- Okay. No, we can't end this.
And I won't live like this.
When we started this, we said
that we would talk about
everything, and I was there
through all your shit
with Alana, Grace.
I accepted that.
I dealt with that.
And now suddenly when I'm the one
that's going through something,
it's like
my feelings aren't legitimate.
I never fell in love
with anyone else.
That's the difference.
So what if I fell in love?
That was supposed to be a part
of the risk we both accepted.
I'm not leaving, I'm here,
I'm dealing with it.
- Sorry.
- It's okay. No, no, no.
- Oh, God.
- It's all right.
So you care more about
what they think about you
than what I'm going through
right now.
- You're so pathetic.
- I think it's a real competition
as to who's most pathetic
right now.
Let's take a break.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
Why don't you come upstairs
with me?
I'm gonna call a car.
You do whatever you want.
- Hey.
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
- I couldn't hold it together anymore.
- I get it.
- That whole dinner, he was just
I know.
It's been like this all week
since I talked to you.
I'm sorry
I haven't been here.
- When did your flight get in?
- Last night.
Do you have an Advil?
My head's killing me.
In my bathroom. I'm just gonna
check on Ava for a second.
I'll be right there.
Revisionist history, you know?
She was a mess,
I was holding things together.
- Did you find it?
- Yeah.
So, it ended with Nathan,
Yeah. For good.
I'm sorry.
Oh, girl. Yeah.
He said he's exhausted
from living a double life.
The irony is a double life's
the only life
I know how to live.
Mira, this past week,
I can barely get out of bed.
It's not getting any better.
And Peter just sulks all day
like a child. And
When he's not doing
this phony chipper thing
that makes me
wanna strangle him.
And then I have these outbursts
of hatred for him
where I'm just
I find myself in bed
thinking of the craziest ways
to torture him
and then fucking kill him.
- I don't know.
- Mm-hmm.
Perhaps it's time to reconsider
this arrangement.
This arrangement?
You gotta remember
this whole thing started
so Peter could justify
his cheating.
This is just It doesn't matter
how it started.
This is the way that we found
to, you know, get through it,
and I don't regret it.
I don't.
- I don't Kate.
- It's been good for us.
I don't remember ever wanting
to fuck Peter
as much as
when I was with Nathan.
I'm serious. I wore him out.
- Okay.
- Do you know how good it felt
to actually want my husband?
You know, this is real.
This is my life, Mira.
It's not some whim.
I mean, what I had with Nathan,
I don't remember
ever feeling so alive.
And so, okay, it also means
feeling this terrible pain.
It's part of the deal.
You're really
suffering though, honey.
What would be better?
There were at least three years
when I didn't have sex
with Peter.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Does that seem
reasonable to you?
Life without any passion,
right? Kind of like
Well, passion, okay,
it's awesome,
uh, but, you know,
it's not sustainable.
We're not 16 anymore.
You can't
What does 16
have to do with anything?
Did you renounce passion
at the age of 16?
No, I'm not saying
that I renounced it.
Don't start quoting
Jonathan's theories
- about marriage.
- I'm not quoting him.
No, I I'm saying that, okay,
this open relationship
- comes at a price for everybody.
- Of course it does.
And it can't be easy
for your kids, right?
Well, it's not easy
for any kid, Mira.
I mean
Honestly, in the long run,
I think that it's actually
very empowering for them
to see me always searching
for freedom and happiness.
I don't know,
It's absolutely something
that I want to model for them.
Especially Anna.
I'm not judging you, honey.
I'm not.
And I'm on your side
always. You know that, right?
I know. I do.
I'm sorry. Here.
- Mm.
- No, no, no.
Oh, this day. It's just, like,
it's so much. It's
Wait, is something wrong?
No, it's just, uh
It's just a lot of pressure, so.
What kind of pressure?
No, it's nothing. Forget it.
Nothing, I just
I'm sorry I lost it.
I think it's okay.
That was crazy.
- You're such a good friend. Hey.
- Aw.
And you're stunning.
I don't
Not sure where what came from.
I think I'm pretty drunk.
- Okay. You good?
- Yeah.
- Do you wanna go downstairs?
- Okay.
Mm. Yeah.
Hang on.
- Okay, come on.
- Okay.
Oh, no, no, no,
you got it backwards.
It was it was it was she
who made the sale.
I get that, but you
did your fair share of the work.
She is a ball buster.
- She can be really fucking scary.
- Oh my God.
And she's a
she's a true artist, right?
- I'll call a car.
- She's a certifiable genius. She's gorgeous.
I'm just gonna clean up a bit.
I don't know why she even
ever let me between her legs,
this paragon of perfection.
Hi. I need a car
at 206 Abbottsford Road
in Brookline.
When I sleep with
other women, it's because, uh,
it's only because
it makes me feel
You know, it's
it has nothing to do
with falling in love.
It's the only way
It's the only way
that I can, uh
No, it does
You know, I know
I know I'm the one who
Peter, I called us a car.
Neither one of us can drive.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Do you want coffee or anything?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good. Yeah.
Yeah, I was just, uh
I was just trying
to explain to him
how you and I decided to, uh
And I, you know, I was saying
that just ignoring the fact
that you have options
doesn't make them go away.
- Right? Right?
- Yeah.
You know, or another way
of saying it is,
you know, if the only reason
that you're faithful
is because it's like
a rational decision,
- well, that's not sustainable.
- Why not?
Well, because it's just a matter
of the right woman, right time
- when it finally happens, right?
- Oh, okay.
So I don't have a choice
in the matter?
No, you don't.
Because, I mean, this force
- I'm tired.
- call it Eros or whatever,
you know, it's far more powerful
than your own will.
The car is on the way.
You better start
getting ready, okay?
Just a second.
You understand what I'm saying?
It depends on who you are.
- No, it doesn't! It doesn't!
- Shh. Peter.
- Quiet.
- I'm sorry.
I think it's just
it's a longer conversation.
No, tell me, I wanna hear.
I think maybe it's just because
of the way that I was raised.
- What do you mean?
- Well, you know, in
the first 20 years of your life,
you're taught to conquer
your desires,
- not surrender to them.
- Dude.
- What?
- That's grotesque.
I mean,
that level of repression,
it's like from the Middle Ages.
I'm not defending it.
I'm just saying
that it's ingrained in me.
Hey, babe, where is your jacket?
- Just a second.
- We need to get ready.
You really need
to start shaking that off.
- Or it's gonna take a major toll on you.
- Peter.
Not just mentally,
I mean,
and spiritually, and
- The car is almost here.
- Yeah, I heard you!
- He can wait a minute!
- Shh.
- Here.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm really sorry.
- I call you tomorrow.
- Mira, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Bye. Night.
No worries. It's all right.
- Is she mad at me?
- Peter, let's go.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's just a long day.
All right, guys.
Thanks for coming.
- Okay.
- Don't worry about it.
So we'll come back
for our car tomorrow?
- Uh, is it that one?
- No, it's across the street.
You're welcome. Bye.
I'll be right there.
Sorry I left you down there.
It's okay, sweetie.
I couldn't take it anymore.
he was really drunk.
It was tragic.
Tragic, why?
Yeah. It's not like we
haven't seen that before.
She's really suffering.
I'm telling you.
I could see that, but
The sad thing is they're
basically a good couple
if he hadn't roped her in
all his adolescent bullshit.
You sure it's him
that roped her?
Oh, come on.
It's not who she is,
this whole polyamory thing.
I think they both get to
feed off of the drama,
you know?
Mm. Well, you get a kick
out of it, don't you?
You must admit, darling,
it is diverting.
What is it?
Oh, don't look so scared.
I'm not.
What's going on?
I'm pregnant.
- What?
- Yeah.
Uh, well, that weekend.
The Cape.
Yeah, I forgot my pills,
so I missed a couple days.
Why didn't you tell me
you forgot your pills?
Well, I didn't think
that it mattered if we
Well, it shouldn't be so easy
to get knocked up at my age.
I took a
Well, I was late for my period,
so I took a test this afternoon,
and there was a faint blue line.
Okay, so it's a faint line,
so maybe
No, I took a picture
of the stick
and sent it to my doctors.
I'm pregnant.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah. I've got an appointment
with her next week. Dr. Varona.
- Are you happy? Yeah?
- Yes, of course. I'm happy. Yes.
I'm just a little I'm stunned.
God, me too.
I mean,
I have no idea what to do.
What do you mean?
Nothing. Nothing.
I just I don't know. It's
If we do this,
so much is gonna fall on you.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, what do you feel?
Well, I don't know.
I wanted to know how you felt.
No, no, forget about me
for a second.
What do you feel?
I don't know.
Well, try to think about
how you felt
the second that you realized.
- Try to remember.
- Fine.
I felt shocked.
And, um, then I had to
come downstairs
for that interview,
so I buried it. And now
I guess I
I don't know.
Come on.
You can be honest with me.
Anything that you feel is
I don't know how I feel.
How am I supposed
to be honest about that?
Just trying to figure out
how this could have happened.
Maybe the sex
had something to do with it.
Hey, what if what if we
think about this in,
I don't know,
like a slightly more
deterministic way?
You know, like,
it's the Lord's doing, right?
- What?
- Not in a religious sense.
- Not in a religious sense.
- Okay.
I just mean, like, I mean,
you know, okay,
you forgot your pills.
And you still?
And you
immediately got pregnant.
So is it possible that
there's a part of you that
wanted this or thought
that we should have this?
Where is this coming from?
- It's so
- I know, I know.
I mean, if you're
if you're trying to say
that you want
to keep it, just say that.
I It's what we talked
about originally.
Yeah. But originally,
it was completely abstract.
I mean, it was
before we knew anything
about anything,
it was before Ava,
before we knew
what it was actually like.
- You wanna keep it, right?
- I think so. Yeah, I think so.
I think we can handle it,
but only if it's something
that you really, really want
and would be happy about.
I think so.
I think I might.
Ava will be thrilled.
And your parents.
Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.
So, are we going for this?
Oh, my God.
Um yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Come here.
- Okay.
- Come here.
You okay?
Don't look at me like that.
This is
this doesn't mean anything.
- It only means you're panicking.
- It doesn't mean I'm panicking.
- I had a lot to drink.
- Yeah, hmm.
But you know what, even if
I was panicking, so what?
This is a really big deal, okay?
This is irreversible,
what we're talking about here.
You know, it just sucks
that neither one of us
could be completely happy
and confident about this
Yeah, but that's because I see
how ambivalent you are about it.
Well, yeah. Of course I'm ambivalent.
I mean, you remember
those first two years with Ava?
- Yeah.
- Thinking about jumping back
into that nightmare.
Yeah. I was there too.
I remember.
I know you were. I know
you've been an amazing partner,
but you don't
you couldn't, like
I couldn't I couldn't be
- where you were.
- No, you could not.
I couldn't be
in your place. I know.
You tried and
But you couldn't.
I took that out on you.
I took it
I was just awful to you.
I was awful.
We we talked about it,
and I understood
where that came from.
- You know?
- I know you understood,
but you were also hurt.
That's why you become distant,
and I hated you
for being distant, and I hated
myself even more for
being so shitty to you.
- I felt like a terrible mom.
- Oh, sweetie, I
That was a nightmare for you.
It was a nightmare
for both of us.
And it took so long to, like
feel like myself again,
you know?
And now we're good, and
And Ava's so good, and
when she's with you, she's
- Aw, come on.
- Kidding.
It's just like I finally
returned to my life.
I feel so guilty
about what I'm saying.
Sweetie, you shouldn't
feel guilty.
It makes perfect sense,
you know?
It's like, um
all of a sudden,
everything is unreal.
Everything that we had,
you, you're not real.
Ava isn't. It's just
it's this thing.
It's this pregnancy.
It's the only thing that's real.
- It's
- Hey, Mira.
- Babe.
- What?
It's painful wanting something
and not wanting it
at the same time.
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
But think about it.
- Yeah.
- When Ava was a baby, we had no perspective at all.
We thought it was
gonna be like that forever.
- Right.
- And now we see that it passes, right?
It gets better. Right?
- That's true.
- Yeah.
You know, Ava's totally obsessed
with having a little sister.
- Yeah.
- If it's
a boy, that'll be rough.
Well, it'll have to
be a girl then.
We'll raise it a girl,
Either way, they're gonna want
their own rooms eventually.
But it should be a pretty easy
renovation, you know,
to divide Ava's room in half.
We'll have to steal a little
square footage from the hallway,
put up a little drywall, right?
I love you.
You know that, right?
Yes, I do.
- Yup, come in.
- Hi? Sorry. Am I late? I'm late.
It's fine. We just, uh
we're just starting out.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Nice nice to see you.
- Good to see you.
So, I was just
starting to explain
- the procedure to Mira.
- Great.
As I said, you'll take
the mifepristone here today,
and that blocks
your progesterone,
effectively ending
the pregnancy.
And then I'll send you home
with four pills of misoprostol,
and that'll bring on
- Mm-hmm.
- So that can be not so fun.
You'll have cramping
and heavy bleeding.
You'll pass some large clots,
and you might have nausea,
vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness,
and in rare cases, fever.
It's like a stomach virus.
So that's all normal.
But if you have any side effects
that worry you, just call.
Does it still seem
like what you wanna do?
While you're here,
do you wanna talk
about contraception,
since the pill
wasn't your friend this time?
Yeah, I was just
saying to Jonathan
that I was amazed that, um,
could still have an accident
at my age.
You'll be
- 40 in November, right?
- Mm-hmm.
That's gonna keep
- getting less likely.
- Yeah, totally.
But in the meantime
So there are a bunch
of long-term options.
There's Implanon,
which is an arm insert.
- I could place that here today.
- Mm-hmm.
And there are IUDs,
the ParaGard,
which is plain copper,
or the Mirena,
which is very popular,
it's a hormone-releasing IUD.
Maybe the copper one.
It would be nice to give
my body a break
- from all those hormones.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, I can place that
at your follow-up.
- And, uh, you can think about it a little more.
- Okay.
For now, just throw out
your current package of pills
and start a new one tomorrow.
- Okay?
- Yeah.
Any questions?
I'm gonna go get the medicine.
She has to warn us
about the symptoms,
but it's, uh,
it's the simplest procedure.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. I know.
I'm gonna get us
something to drink.
Diet Coke, is that good?
No, I don't need
I don't need anything.
No, I'll get us one.
There's a vending machine
right outside the door.
Um, yeah.
I'll be right back, okay?
Uh, fine.
Hey? I'll be right there.
Hey. So, they only had Pepsi.
- Is that okay?
- That's fine.
- It's all right?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm sure
there's, like, a cup
around here somewhere.
No, it's fine. I'll just
drink it straight from the can.
I'm sure there's something.
Maybe here.
Oh, I think
there's something here.
Come here for a second.
Oh, fuck,
it's a urine sample cup.
Okay. Come over here.
Sit down for a second.
Look at me.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Are you mad?
Am I mad? No.
Why would I be mad?
Are you having
second thoughts?
- No?
- No, no, no, no. I
- I don't
- I'm just
I don't why
I'm feeling like this.
I didn't expect
to feel like that.
No, it's okay, honey.
- It's fine.
- Yeah.
You know, I'm it's not easy
for me either.
No, no, no, no, no.
Of course. Of course. Uh
Sorry, I'm not, um, trying
to make No, yeah.
I know you you're the one that
has to has to go through it.
We're making
the right decision here.
We talked about it.
I don't think there's a single
angle that we haven't covered
over the last ten days.
Yeah, I don't
I don't think there is.
You know, I was thinking
we could still go ahead
with the renovation.
- You know? Like
- No.
Yeah. Like, we can move
Ava's play area into her room
and, you know, make your study
back the way that it was before.
That's never gonna work.
She's gonna reclaim it
within hours.
Well, then we use the attic.
I mean, we always said that
we were gonna get to that
I'm okay.
I'm good where my office is.
- I don't need
- Well, I have a vision.
- Just, you know, leave it to me.
- Okay, okay. Okay.
- You're gonna thank me.
- Okay. Okay.
- Sorry about that.
- It's okay.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
And here's the misoprostol
that you will take at home
Take some ibuprofen
about an hour before you put
the tablets in your cheek, okay?
All right. Here you go.
- Mm-hmm.
- See you in a couple weeks.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
I feel a little nauseous.
I'm fine. It's fine.
I'm sure, um, it's just
the power of suggestion.
Just rest
until it passes, okay?
If you do vomit, you'll have to
take the medicine again.
I'll ask the nurse to check in
on you in a bit.
- Okay. Feel better.
- Hmm.
- You okay?
- Mm-mm.
I feel awful.
I'm sure you'll feel better
Why don't you go home to Ava?
- I'll take a car home.
- No, no. No way.
I'm staying here.
- Veronica's with Ava. She's
- Jonathan, I
I'd like to be alone
for a little bit. Is that okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Of course. Of course.
Here, I'll leave this
right here, okay?
Yup. You're not
- You're sure it's fine?
- Yes, of course, sweetie.
It's fine. It's fine.
I'm totally fine, yeah.
- I'll go do a little work in the waiting
- Mm-hmm.
room over there, okay?
And you just come out
- whenever you're ready.
- Yeah, just
- it won't be long.
- Yeah. Take your time.
- I've got my phone, so
- Okay.
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