School of Thrones (2013) s01e03 Episode Script
Targaryen Burn
Wow.
So this is it.
- Prom night.
- Hey, Theon! Shit, that's not him.
Do I look good? Crazy ironic.
I know I'm not really a Stark and all, but I hope you win tonight.
Thanks.
You nervous? I guess so.
I-I kind of have this crush, but she might try to burn the whole school.
Best dudes fore-- Damn it, still not him.
Where is he? He's probably just running late.
I know 3 things for absolutely frigging certain: One: Stannis Baratheon will never smile.
Two: We live in a world of happy endings and just rewards where the good guys always win.
And three: Theon won't ever let me down.
Like ever, like never-ever, not even a little bit, you hear me? I look good, right? Am I too ironic? Curse you, Stark blood! Hey! It will be a wild night tonight.
Anything can happen.
Let's snow! Whoa, my brother, the dick hole.
It's come to this.
So it has, you majestic giggly-faced scrotum-licker.
Dance-off! Oh, careful.
It's like I warned you.
Shit's going cray-cray.
Yeah.
Arya's gonna be a freshman next year with these animals.
Listen.
I was wondering if you wanna dance.
Also, if you plan to set the building on fire.
I'm sorry, Jon.
Prom must be stopped.
You ready to lose, wolfie? Huh? , wolfie.
You look beautiful tonight, Sansa.
I knew red and gold would be your colors.
Thanks.
Best dudes forever, Theon? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, fight for the Joff.
Bleed for the Joff, that's right.
Epiphany! My students this is your moment.
Westeros Valley High has chosen its prom king and prom queen.
And the winners are Hold! Westeros Valley High, forsake this nasty business! You dance like puppets for those who covet youth and cling to withered grudges.
For serious, Littles, it was like 30 years ago.
Get over it.
Targaryen, burn! Targaryen, burn indeed.
Behold the fury of my burn book! This is brilliant! You're brilliant.
Renly and Loras are gay? Melisandre's preggers.
Sansa Stark made out with a Hot Dog? Oh, my God, that was one time! Best dudes forever! Stop that! No hugs allowed! Prom doesn't heal.
Prom only destroys.
The cliques of Westeros Valley High will always be broken, miserable, divided! You think this changes anything? It isn't easy being a Stark.
But on prom night we found out that each one of us is A Targaryen.
A Greyjoy.
Baratheon.
A Lannister.
And A Stark! Does that answer your question? Yeah! Yeah, that was, that was pretty good.
Tyrion! It's awesome in there.
People are dancing, no one's dead.
It's the best prom ever! Sorry if you thought I was a crazy asshole.
Sorry.
I thought you were a pyromaniac! Sorry, Jon.
I have a boyfriend.
Ugh.
High school can seem so serious.
- Starkin' ain't easy.
- Screw it.
I'm joining the Hall Monitors.
Wait a second.
So who won prom king/queen anyways? Excuse me, excuse me! We had not finished here.
By the power invested in me as co-assistant vice-principal, Westeros Valley High's new prom queen is Sansa.
And I am your king! Sansa! Sansaaaa!
So this is it.
- Prom night.
- Hey, Theon! Shit, that's not him.
Do I look good? Crazy ironic.
I know I'm not really a Stark and all, but I hope you win tonight.
Thanks.
You nervous? I guess so.
I-I kind of have this crush, but she might try to burn the whole school.
Best dudes fore-- Damn it, still not him.
Where is he? He's probably just running late.
I know 3 things for absolutely frigging certain: One: Stannis Baratheon will never smile.
Two: We live in a world of happy endings and just rewards where the good guys always win.
And three: Theon won't ever let me down.
Like ever, like never-ever, not even a little bit, you hear me? I look good, right? Am I too ironic? Curse you, Stark blood! Hey! It will be a wild night tonight.
Anything can happen.
Let's snow! Whoa, my brother, the dick hole.
It's come to this.
So it has, you majestic giggly-faced scrotum-licker.
Dance-off! Oh, careful.
It's like I warned you.
Shit's going cray-cray.
Yeah.
Arya's gonna be a freshman next year with these animals.
Listen.
I was wondering if you wanna dance.
Also, if you plan to set the building on fire.
I'm sorry, Jon.
Prom must be stopped.
You ready to lose, wolfie? Huh? , wolfie.
You look beautiful tonight, Sansa.
I knew red and gold would be your colors.
Thanks.
Best dudes forever, Theon? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, fight for the Joff.
Bleed for the Joff, that's right.
Epiphany! My students this is your moment.
Westeros Valley High has chosen its prom king and prom queen.
And the winners are Hold! Westeros Valley High, forsake this nasty business! You dance like puppets for those who covet youth and cling to withered grudges.
For serious, Littles, it was like 30 years ago.
Get over it.
Targaryen, burn! Targaryen, burn indeed.
Behold the fury of my burn book! This is brilliant! You're brilliant.
Renly and Loras are gay? Melisandre's preggers.
Sansa Stark made out with a Hot Dog? Oh, my God, that was one time! Best dudes forever! Stop that! No hugs allowed! Prom doesn't heal.
Prom only destroys.
The cliques of Westeros Valley High will always be broken, miserable, divided! You think this changes anything? It isn't easy being a Stark.
But on prom night we found out that each one of us is A Targaryen.
A Greyjoy.
Baratheon.
A Lannister.
And A Stark! Does that answer your question? Yeah! Yeah, that was, that was pretty good.
Tyrion! It's awesome in there.
People are dancing, no one's dead.
It's the best prom ever! Sorry if you thought I was a crazy asshole.
Sorry.
I thought you were a pyromaniac! Sorry, Jon.
I have a boyfriend.
Ugh.
High school can seem so serious.
- Starkin' ain't easy.
- Screw it.
I'm joining the Hall Monitors.
Wait a second.
So who won prom king/queen anyways? Excuse me, excuse me! We had not finished here.
By the power invested in me as co-assistant vice-principal, Westeros Valley High's new prom queen is Sansa.
And I am your king! Sansa! Sansaaaa!