Scorpion (2014) s04e05 Episode Script

Sci Hard

1 (mellow piano music playing) (indistinct chatter) WALTER: Is my tie too short? PAIGE: It's fine.
What about my collar? (chuckles) I'll straighten it for the hundredth time, if that calms you.
Why are you so stressed about some nerd gala? Vor is the Norse goddess of wisdom, and the Vor Collective is the top one percent of the top one percent of minds.
It's as if Mensa had its own Mensa, and that's why I need your help.
- My help? With what? - Yeah.
These people are all geniuses, and you know how to talk to my kind better than I do.
So you will charm the pants off the membership, and once they see that I'm with someone as incredible as you, they will realize that they were wrong about me and let me back into the club.
Allowing you back in? Why are you Why are you telling me this now? And what did you do to have a fallout? (scoffs): Nothing.
It's a small disagreement, easily rectified with your social skills.
So, uh, focus, you're on.
Oh, boy.
Sir, here you are.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
(Paige speaking indistinctly) (laughter) (forced chuckle) That's very Gentlemen.
O'Brien, you got some nerve showing your face here.
Oh, Vadat.
What a sense of humor.
Darling Thank you.
Cheers.
Your wine.
Hold a moment.
She's with you? Yes.
She is my girlfriend.
We've been intimate.
(quietly): Unnecessary detail.
Ms.
Dineen, you have been a pleasure to talk to, but none of us are willing to engage with this man.
He's currently on probation.
Yes, he told me that he and the group had some kind of small disagreement, but surely we can bury the old hatchet.
Disagreement? Is that what you told her? Nine members were hospitalized.
Hospitalized? (whispering): What did you do? He infected us with Shigatoxigenic serotype E.
Coli.
I was merely trying to prove my theory that certain bacteria could survive in an animated state that You brought a pathogen to a dinner party.
So everybody could see.
In ice cubes.
Oh, boy.
In a crystal ice bucket.
I had to bring them in ice so that they could reach suspended animation, and these parties are fancy.
Or would you have preferred a Styrofoam chest? I would have preferred not to contract what my doctor described in his report as-- excuse my directness-- “explosive diarrhea.
” I didn't think anyone would actually digest the cubes.
You could have stopped after “I didn't think.
” Ms.
Dineen, it has truly been my pleasure to meet you.
Mr.
O'Brien, until the board makes a final determination as to your membership status, I suggest you go.
Well, that was A total disaster? Aw, come on, it can't be that bad.
Your shocks are shot, the brakes are worn through, leaks like a full diaper.
Leaks what? Oil, coolant, transmission fluid, brake fluid, power-steering fluid.
And I can't get that Laura Branigan cassette out of the tape player without taking apart the whole radio.
Why did you buy this heap? 'Cause in addition to taking my passport, gun, and badge, Homeland also took back my SUV two days ago.
I know why we're all poor.
Elon Musk aside, most geniuses suck with money.
But you've had a steady job for decades.
Yeah, a steady government law enforcement job.
It's not exactly the road to riches.
I had $65K saved, and I gave each of you $10K to start paying you back for my bail.
We told you not to do that, dummy.
Cabe Gallo doesn't owe.
I'm down to my last 15 grand, and I bought this car for 500, and now you're telling me it's not worth My time.
Might not conk out on you today or tomorrow, but it will soon.
I can fix it, but parts alone will run you thousands.
Never took you for a whitewalls guy.
Yeah, well, I haven't been myself lately.
Took my gun and my tin.
Now I got a badge that says “intern.
” Now that you mention it, I could use a coffee.
That's very funny.
But I'll get you a cup because you helped with the car.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No café con leche, por favor.
Happy, shame on you.
Come on, I need to get perked up.
You need to get knocked up, and coffee's a violation of STORK.
Oh, I don't want to know about this.
Oh, I'm glad you asked.
Happy and I have conceived a conception plan.
It's called STORK.
“S” is for sexy time only at moments of optimal fertility.
I'm not interested in your sexy time.
I'm barely interested in our sexy time.
“T” is temperature.
I'm gonna keep my gooty at a cool 97 degrees to maximize efficacy of my spermatozoon.
So all boxers, no briefs.
I don't want coffee anymore.
I feel sick.
“O” is for organic.
Treat our bodies like all-natural shrines.
“R” reduce stress.
And “K,” keep the tenets of STORK.
Coffee is a stimulant that increases blood pressure just like stress, so that's a no-go.
And I-I seriously doubt that the sludge that Cabe's making is organic.
It definitely is not.
What's with you guys and the acronyms? Now that you've told Cabe how you plan to impregnate me, I'd like to leave.
We need to get to that Tech-Splosion conference now, anyway.
Mm, yeah, we should drum up some work to fill little Tobina's college fund.
Well, Walt and Paige said they'd meet us there.
I can give you guys a ride.
Plenty of room.
No way am I getting into that death trap.
HAPPY: That thing is on its last legs.
Come on, husband.
I'm driving.
All right, suit yourself.
But this old gal, she ain't that bad.
(engine starts) Calling Gloria Son of a Gloria Don't you think you're fallin'? If everybody wants you Excuse me, sir.
You're here to take the bar exam? Uh, yes.
I took the first half yesterday.
You weren't here.
The proctors rotate.
Mr.
Cohen and I are on duty today.
You seem confused.
Um yes.
Someone is sitting where I sat yesterday, and I thought it was same-seatsies.
No, not same-seatsies.
Sit wherever you want.
Most students cluster based on where they went to law school.
Oh, I didn't go to law school.
You don't have a law degree? How do you expect to pass the bar? I studied on the flight.
Just find a desk.
You've been pretty quiet this morning.
One might say moody.
You'd be moody, too, if you were just thrown out of a world-class think tank like the Vor Collective.
Yep.
That mood would be elation.
They're a bunch of nerd-turds.
Who cares if they don't like you, Walter? Uh, that is easy for you to say.
Y-You waltz in, and in two seconds they're eating out of your hand.
I can't get humans to like me, I can't get the mentally enabled to accept me.
I'm a man without a home.
You have a home.
Scorpion's your home.
I'm your home.
No, I-I know, I just this Vor situation, it's it's deflating.
Well, then inflate yourself.
You're in dork heaven.
No, there's a robotics booth, there's a Trelfie station, where you take traveling selfies or something.
Oh, wow, I guess.
Oh, I am excited to see Richard Elia's new E-Life presentation.
The E-Life by Elia line provides high-end home security, uh, virtual reality home movies, wellness monitoring.
But what I'm really excited to see is his new phone banking app.
“Underwritten with over a billion dollars “in private equity, E-Life banking “provides the common man Wall Street-quality financial advice for free.
” All through Barnaby, the Banking Butler.
It's a digital interface to make the whole experience fun.
You know about the software? When I was working with Elia, right after you fired me Water under the bridge.
They were coding the app software.
I'm surprised he's unveiling it today, 'cause they were way behind just a few months ago.
Brought all the boxes.
What, what the hell is this? Oh, these are the boxes from in the trailer.
No, I said the boxes by the trailer, not in the trailer.
Intern.
Well, they all say “marketing.
” Oh, that's stuff Ray put together during the month he took over Paige's job.
Right after you fired me.
Really got to let that go.
Can you just go get the stuff I made? Posters, flowcharts Morning traffic, he won't get back before things start up here.
Just dig through the box, see if there's anything salvageable.
Oh, man, it's Vadat.
Okay, let's just play it cool.
Hey, Vadat, so, uh, it's really funny to be seeing you two days in a row.
Are you you looking forward to a little Tech-Splosion? Ms.
Dineen, it's lovely to see you again.
We've got a booth to recruit new members, so feel free to stop by for refreshments.
Our ice is safe.
CABE: Hey, Walt.
I found a DVD.
Scorpion.
Computers.
Adventure! Sinkhole! Whatever your needs, Scorpion is genius.
Star wipe.
VADAT: Wow.
Impressive.
Oh, that just ruined any chance I have of getting back into the Vor Collective.
Uh, Walter, it was not about the video.
I have two words for you: explosive diarrhea.
And that's my cue to go take a walk.
Ray Spiewack is a man of action.
He's the leader of the Scorpion.
Ray Spiewack is super sexy.
Come on, everybody, we're gonna have some fun.
Stressed out? Job pressures? Wish you could shut out the world? And how.
Try the Senseless 3000, the future of high-tech sensory deprivation.
This one of those quiet tanks? Oh.
You heard me rehearsing.
How'd my pitch sound? Intriguing.
Good.
Did you know the best part about this product? Space-age memory foam that'll make you feel completely weightless and at peace.
No bright lights, no sound No crappy car, no trial.
Why don't you take her for a spin? Yeah? Yeah.
Sit here.
Just, uh, settle in there.
There you go.
(grunts) It's pretty comfy.
Well, I'm gonna run to my car and grab some promo T-shirts, but, uh, the door doesn't lock, so you can exit anytime.
Okay.
Enjoy, sir.
PAIGE: Okay.
See you soon.
That was Toby and Happy.
They're running late.
They're picking up organic coffee.
Part of their STORK thing.
What is with those guys and acronyms? (gunshots) Everybody, hands up! (people screaming) Follow our instructions, and no one gets hurt! Let's get out of here.
There is no way out! Doors are rigged with explosives.
You open one door, they all detonate.
Now, everybody into the main theater.
Now! Move! (gunshots continue) (people screaming) Move! Move! Move! (speaking Spanish) Move, move! (men shouting in Spanish) Move! Richard.
Why is it every time you guys are around, things turn to crap? All cell phones in here.
(speaking in Spanish) Cell phones, now.
Rápido.
(whispering): Where's that older guy you guys were with? Did-did he get away? Walt, he's right, Cabe's not here.
Don't worry, Mr.
Vadat.
My associate is a trained federal agent.
I guarantee he's working right now toward a way of getting us out of here.
Are the voices in your head Calling Gloria Scorpion 4x05 Sci Hard (sirens wailing) LEADER (over tablet): Richard Elia and his technological ilk are nothing more than digital pusher men, getting the populace hooked on fingertip convenience: instant access to music, films, information, with notification chimes engineered to release endorphins, to get the sheep addicted, unaware their personal data's being harvested and sold, until, one day, privacy as we know it is gone forever.
Did you really do that with chimes? Maybe.
Mr.
Elia has two hours to destroy all personal data he's collected from users of his technology over the past 20 years.
The thoughts, habits and profiles of billions will be liberated from Elia's grasp.
We'll never get that done in time.
If a single e-mail remains, we will execute every hostage.
And lest Elia's tech team doubts whether they should heed our demands if they don't, Sir Richard receives the first bullet.
Do it.
Do what he says.
These guys mean it.
COP: Detective Meller! Detective.
These guys drove up to the barricade.
They say there's a federal agent embedded with the hostages.
Uh, Dr.
Toby Curtis, Happy Quinn, we work for Scorpion.
A federal subcontractor under the direction of Homeland Agent Cabe Gallo.
Look, well, I recorded the kidnappers' demands.
It's our only look inside since they disabled the security cameras.
You can see the hostages in the background.
Which one is the federal agent? Uh, there's Walt and Paige.
And Elia but no Cabe.
He's got to be hiding in the outer concourse somewhere.
Ah, this is good.
Oh, that's good.
She normally says “Not good”" What the hell are you two talking about? What we're talking about is that we have a man on the inside, and he's a badass.
(whirring) (exhales) (grunts) (sighs) Where the hell is everybody? (beeping steadily) This is bad.
FOX: Mezzanine is clear.
Checking the floor.
Over.
(radio crackles) (footsteps approaching) What the hell's going on? (phone ringing) (grunting) (choking) (grunts) (phone ringing) (grunts) CABE: Yeah.
Cabe, where the hell you been? Napping.
Hold on, I'm putting my Bluetooth in.
So I assume you're aware that something crazy's going down in here.
Fill me in.
Yeah, anti-tech group has got, like, 12 people at gunpoint in the theater, including Walter and Paige, and Elia's in there, too.
(grunting) How many bad guys? Uh, looks like there's four in there.
Well, in case you're unaware this place is rigged to blow to bits if any of these doors are opened.
HAPPY: The authorities know.
Barricades are all around, cops are everywhere.
Is that Agent Gallo? Hand it over.
Agent Gallo, this is Detective Meller, LAPD.
Hey, Detective.
Be advised, I've already taken out one Caucasian male, early 30s.
And I'm in possession of a SIG 9mm.
Sir, I ran your badge number, and the system says that you've been suspended for being charged with felonious conduct.
Not good.
Yeah.
I told you she normally says that.
We will be relieving you of this.
Password to your company's server? Why do you need it? I ordered my staff to delete all data.
They're doing it as we speak.
I want my team to watch your team.
Make sure all those terabytes are dwindling down to zero like they should.
The password.
“King Richard.
” It's easy to remember.
(typing) (computer beeps) Mr.
Gallo.
How do you feel about being criminally prosecuted by your employer? I'm tickled pink.
What the hell does that have to do with anything? You think Cabe is in on it? Well, I'm looking at a disgruntled federal employee, discharged five years from retirement, who's already admitted that he's armed, and neutralized one person.
A bad guy.
I took out a bad guy.
N-No, that's my phone, and you are crazy if you think my friend's crazy.
I have seen many agents snap, and I don't know whose side this guy is on.
Detective, press is getting antsy.
They want a statement.
Don't let them leave.
I still got questions for them.
I don't know what's going on here.
Uh, Cabe? You-you got to avoid running into anyone else until we can figure out a plan.
RAVEN (over radio): Fox, this is Raven.
I don't think that's gonna be possible.
I need you to get me a Flashcat cable from one of the booths out there.
Do you copy? What's the issue? It's not connecting to the final page.
It's probably a bad cable.
Fox, ETA on that Flashcat? Do you copy? Probably left his walkie off.
I'll just grab it myself.
Just be quick about it.
I'm worried about Cabe.
What if the guy runs into him? Well, if that happens, Cabe's not the one I'm worried about.
They're gonna send someone when that guy I knocked out doesn't come back with a cable.
TOBY: Cabe, just make yourself scarce and-and be careful.
Look, man, I-I got to go.
We got to figure out a way to see what's going on in that theater.
How the hell are we gonna get eyes in there? I checked online.
There's no security cameras in the theater.
Um, we'll hack Walt's laptop, we'll spy through his eyepiece.
There's no way that the kidnappers will let Walt open his laptop.
They're hostages.
They probably can't even move, let alone take out their toys.
Well, that's it.
Elia's toys.
They're already out.
H-He was unveiling a host of new devices today.
Pull up the Tech-Splosion website.
Eyes on your own paper.
(phone vibrating) (phone clicks) (sighs) A hostage situation? Yeah, I don't have any time to explain.
Now, listen to me.
If I were gonna find a Flashcat cable in this joint, where would I go? I have to think that they'd have a robotics booth.
That would have a Flashcat.
Okay.
I see some robot stuff.
Get in touch with Toby and Happy.
They'll download you.
Things are really bad.
Really, really bad.
Oh, please don't hang up, please don't hang (groans) I'm in the middle of taking the bar exam.
Crap.
There it is.
Flashcat cable.
(whirring) What the hell? Two down.
Cops think Cabe is involved? That is insane.
Listen, Happy's hacking the camera in Elia's facial-recognition doorbell display.
It's gonna give us a live peek into that theater.
Once we get some Intel, we'll probably need your help, so stay by the phone? Okay, please don't hang up.
I (groans) Double crap.
Busted.
Triple crap.
Sir, you are hereby expelled from this bar examination for cheating.
Okay.
Hold on.
This is not a game show.
You do not get a lifeline when you don't know the answers.
Please, if you just let me get my laptop out from under my desk out there, I can show you case files that prove that I work in conjunction with Homeland Security, as well as news feeds online of a Los Angeles hostage situation that I am currently assisting with.
You are either telling the truth, or that is the coolest lie I have ever heard.
Wait here.
I'll go get the proof.
Raven, do you copy? Raven! He's getting frustrated.
Frustrated kidnappers hurt people.
I'm sure Cabe's disrupted his plans.
Now we need a plan of our own.
No.
You're reckless.
I promise you, I have solved many difficult cases.
But he does have a point.
You wrecked my Ferrari, lost software that cost me a billion-dollar smart building, discharged my space rocket.
He gave me explosive diarrhea.
You win.
CABE: All right.
Anybody come up with a strategy yet? It's like Whack-A-Mole around here.
Bad guys keep coming out of the woodwork.
Okay, I am hacking Elia's doorbell hardware so we can get eyes on the situation I'm in.
Great.
What do you see? Empty theater seats.
They need to turn the camera toward them.
Yeah, well, do whatever you can to get their attention.
I am doing that right now.
Psst.
(whispering): Am I the only one who sees that light blinking? It's Morse code.
It's Happy.
How do you know? Because the doorbell just said, “It's me, stupid”" We need a distraction so I can get it.
Fox and Raven are not responding.
We need to get this done and get out.
(clears throat) Hey, uh, excuse me Sit down.
Uh If you're trying to get into my system, I think I can help.
LEADER: I said sit.
I'm just saying that I think that I could help assist you (people screaming) (grunts) Stay back.
This is not your boardroom.
You are not in charge! (Elia grunts) (Elia grunting) Here.
(Leader continues kicking) Well, we got Walt's POV.
Okay, link his audio with Cabe's Bluetooth.
Look, we're getting a visual right through his shirt pocket.
Oh, man, Elia's getting it bad.
(grunts) Stop! Stop! Stop! I'm the best hacker here.
Yeah, I-I'll get you into Elia's server, you can see the d-data being deleted.
Just-just leave him alone, okay? LEADER: If you're playing games, people die.
Respectfully, I am a programmer by trade.
But I'm a skilled hacker.
Oh, as skilled as you are with toxic micro-bacteria? Forgive me if I don't trust you with my life.
LEADER: Enough.
You both say you can do the job, then you both do the job.
And you both have blood on your hands if you fail.
But you are not going to be looking at Elia's data deletion.
If this isn't about destroying the data he collected, why are we here? This is about Elia's banking software.
Smart man.
And whether my men have gotten cold feet and abandoned me, or have been intercepted by forces outside that theater door, I am not leaving without my money.
You have my people obsessively deleting data so they won't notice the bank accounts are being emptied.
Correct.
Both of you, over here, and get to work.
(Elia exhales) That was pretty brave of you, creating a distraction.
Yeah, well, you won't be very proud of me in a moment.
Why? I never finished the bank software.
There is no money.
(quietly): This isn't working Yes, there's a defective cable.
We've known that for some time.
Nope.
There's nothing wrong with the connecting cable.
The software isn't working.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We can't help them rob Elia's bank because There is no bank.
Coding won't be done for six months.
But t-today's presentation? Smoke and mirrors.
None of it's ready.
Not the software, not Barnaby the Banking Butler, and definitely not the funding that these guys are trying to siphon off.
Once the kidnappers realize that there's no pennies in the piggy bank They have no reason to keep the hostages alive.
I want all funds transferred to this account number in Gibraltar.
Problem? No.
No, no.
I can hack this.
It's just, uh, well-designed software, so it will take a while.
You have five minutes.
Okay, Walt will stall for a 300 count while we try to save everyone in there.
CABE (grunting): All right.
You guys got to build some kind of fake bank site or something so it'll look like Walter is doing what that bastard wants.
Happy and I aren't skilled enough to pull that off fast.
I know the young esquire who is.
Uh, hold on.
Stopped a nuclear satellite from hitting L.
A.
, rescued a drowning woman from a tar pit.
Your team's done some pretty amazing work.
And now, this convention center is being overrun by a madman.
And I need to help my friends.
Okay, man.
Here's the deal.
(garbage crunching, sloshing) Sit there, use the sink as a desk.
I'll watch you, make sure everything's on the up and up.
That's not really sanitary.
There's somewhere else you can sit.
(water gurgling in toilet) I'll take the garbage can.
(phone vibrating) Toby.
Sly, I-I got Cabe patched in.
Here's a ten-second recap.
The bad guys don't hate technology.
They want to rob Elia's new bank.
But there is no bank.
Elia never set it up, so Walter's about to be killed because he's hacking a banking Web site that doesn't exist.
Oh, boy.
Suppose I should whip up a fancy pseudo-site to buy him some time? Yeah, Walter's got about four and a half minutes until he takes a bullet.
(whispers): Oh, man, this is intense Yeah, I could whip up something basic for him, I could hack into the router at the convention center, and then Walter could find it.
Cabe, I just got an idea, but you're not gonna like it.
(Cabe grunting) All right.
Whatever it takes.
I don't care TOBY: Hold on.
The kidnappers are eventually gonna expect to see money in their account.
How do you fix that? They're using Imperial Gibraltar Bank.
It's a haven for criminal funds.
Well, I don't have enough time to set up the fake site and hack a bank.
If we could get right into the server, then I could mask their wire transfer protocols, make it look to the bad guys that they just got their funds.
Fine.
Then Toby and I will get you the password to the bank's servers to save you time.
H-How? It's not like we can get to Spain.
Imperial Gibraltar Bank has branches all over the U.
S.
to launder dirty money.
There's one in Bellflower.
Let's hit it.
Hold on! Detective Meller says you need to stay put.
Look, I understand y-your psychological need to blindly follow authority, but Detective Meller's a putz.
There are people in there counting on us.
And one of them is under suspicion of pulling this stunt, and you've just admitted to being on his team, so you're both under suspicion, too.
Neither of you are going anywhere.
Excuse me, Detective.
(clears throat) This is Sylvester Dodd, attorney at law.
(whispering): You can't say that.
If you are telling my clients that they can't move, then that is a custodial interrogation and as such, you must formally arrest them.
That's what we're trying to avoid, Sly.
However, you've already stated that they are under suspicion merely because they work with someone who you believe may be involved with a hostage-taking.
And you must know that under the law mere suspicion is not enough for an arrest.
You have to have reasonable, articulable suspicion in order to bring my clients in.
Well, do you? Other than a hunch? W-What are the facts? Can you lay them out for me? Otherwise, since you've already admitted that you don't meet the legal standard, I look forward to the massive civil suit that I will file against you for wrongful arrest.
In fact, I hope that you do arrest them.
I can put another wing on my house.
Matlock, baby.
(car doors opening and closing) (tires squeal) I'm such an idiot.
One press of this, and I'd rise out of a trap door and onto the stage.
Had this place rigged so balloons would drop, strobe lights, confetti canons, music blaring-- all to distract from the fact that my product wasn't real yet.
All style, no substance-- that's not how I like to think of myself.
You took a beating to help everyone here.
That's substance.
I care so much about what people think of me, of being accepted by Silicon Valley and these 20 year-old idiots designing the latest apps.
Supposed to be smarter than that.
Seems no matter how smart you are, being accepted will always matter.
You're just vamping here.
You can't just keep typing gibberish.
My team knows our predicament.
I don't know what they're planning, but they are planning something, so, please, trust me.
In one minute, I kill one hostage.
Perhaps the pretty girl you were sitting with.
No, no.
No, no, no! No.
No, No.
That won't be necessary.
I'm almost into the software for the banking Web site and I-I will direct it to transfer you your money, okay? HAPPY: Sly, get that fake site operational now or Paige is done for.
Okay.
I am almost finished.
Cabe, you better be in position.
All right, almost ready.
SYLVESTER: Hacking the Trelfie computer into my interface now.
I'm gonna keep you in a mid-shot so the Bluetooth in your ear isn't as noticeable.
20 seconds.
Get her up.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey! (hostages screaming) This isn't anyone's hero time! In ten seconds, she dies.
Please, please, please.
I can solve this.
I can solve it.
Just Five seconds.
(cash register bell rings) (British accent): Hello.
I'm Barnaby, your banking butler, faithful financial friend.
SYLVESTER: Okay, guys.
You need to get the password from the bank so I can get into their system and fake the transfer.
(brakes squeal) Just got here.
We're on it.
Okay.
I have entered your account number.
CABE (British accent): Jolly good, gov'nor.
I've received your order for a wiring of funds.
It will be several minutes before I can provide a confirmation.
Tell me when the transfer's done.
You're still taking the exam? (sighs) Yes.
The bar isn't offered again until February, and I need to become a lawyer ASAP.
Are you sure about this? No, but we need the password and this is the fastest way to get it.
Now let's go.
Th-Th-- Just-just, read the note one more time.
“This is a robbery.
Give us your server password and no one gets hurt.
” It's direct and clear.
Th-that's a good note.
Good luck, baby.
I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed for you.
Fine.
It-it really only takes one person to hand over a note.
CABE (British accent): Transferring funds.
All is hunky-dory.
Please stand by.
It's amazing we're still alive, 'cause his accent sucks.
Let's get ready to get out of here.
If that money doesn't come through Where the hell is it? We'll get this done.
Scorpion is a group of professionals.
(alarm ringing) (yelling) Sly, the password is B-9-T How did they get it? I think they just robbed a bank.
HAPPY: Put the police channel on my CB.
OFFICER: Alert on a gold pickup carrying a Caucasian male, 30s, in a hat, and a petite Asian female, wanted for robbing Imperial Gibraltar Bank on Lincoln That's the fuzz! We're going to the big house.
We are not going to prison.
Can you drive faster? I can't shower in front of other people.
(tires squealing) Please be sure to browse our competitive CD rates and low equity loans.
Bloody hell! Oh this is a wrinkle.
A wrinkle? (grunting) Oh, man, Barnaby's getting his ass kicked.
Cabe, you better win already.
I'm about to make it look like those jerks are getting a billion-dollar deposit.
(beeps) We're leaving now.
To quote one of your American films: Show me the money.
Done.
They have the fake cash.
SYLVESTER: Uh, Barnaby, time's up.
Get into character.
Straighten your tie and get the blood off your forehead.
CABE: Sir, (panting): your funds have been transferred, $1 billion to the Imperial Gibraltar Bank account number 0-6- 0-1-4-5.
Move.
Move! (electronic chime) You kept your word.
And I'll keep mine.
I'm not gonna kill anyone.
Now, back with the others! (siren wailing) I hear sirens.
This is not good.
Police pursuits are stressful.
and that violates STORK.
(passing horn honking) So does being in jail.
(tires squealing) (shrieking) Hot coffee's burning the gooty! (shrieking) Oh, God! Oh Tidy-whities?! You're supposed to be wearing boxers! STORK, remember? - My boys don't like being jostled.
- Does your head? (tires squealing) (thumps) Ow! You have your money-- you can go now.
Not quite yet.
I-I thought you said you wouldn't kill us.
I'm not.
I'm just gonna wound you all very badly.
Gunshots to the abdomen are one of the hardest injuries to treat.
So when the police race in here, they'll be too busy doing triage to follow us.
So thank you for your assistance in our escape.
Why don't you start with the man that made today possible? (screaming, shouting) Hit 'em! (music playing loudly) PAIGE: Hurry! Into the trapdoor! Come on.
PAIGE: Careful, careful, careful.
Walter! (gasping) Forget them.
We need to get out of here.
(passing horn honks) My mom sent me to my first day of middle school in a Punky Brewster T-shirt, and I got my butt kicked.
What do you think'll happen if I show up to my first day of prison in my underwear? Oh, boy.
I think Detective Meller heard the APB on us.
(tires screech) Get out with your hands up.
(sirens whoops) I knew we couldn't trust these guys.
Bet you wish you wore boxers now.
Hurry.
Hurry! Freeze! (beeping accelerating) Oh, crap.
(car alarms blaring) (engines revving) Damn it! Cops are dealing with the bomb aftermath.
We're in the clear.
LAURA BRANIGAN: Gloria Don't you think you're fallin'? What the hell? Sly! I need your help, buddy.
I'm about a block behind-- I can't keep up.
You don't have to answer We're making a right on Vista.
There should be a parking lot on your right.
Is it safe to cut through? Gloria No.
I think we lost him.
(tires screech) (grunts) Don't move! Don't move, scumbag.
Barnaby? Thanks for the shortcut, kid.
Bad guys are down.
All is well.
Roger that, Cabe.
Now it's time to get back to the test.
Uh, yeah, about that.
Uh time ran out a few minutes ago.
Test's over.
What? I was only able to finish about 70% of the questions.
For what it's worth, world's got lots of lawyers.
Not many heroes, though.
Thanks.
Problem is, my friend needs a lawyer.
(sighs heavily) Mr.
Curtis, Mrs.
Quinn, I apologize for my error in judgment.
It's okay, you can't help it-- you have a small brain.
How about I arrest you for public indecency? Or he can keep his mouth shut, put his pants on, and we can go home.
I like her idea.
Me, too.
Well, with all the press here, it's only a matter of time before it gets out that I was prepared to put on a bogus dog-and-pony show today.
It's funny, there was a time when I cared about the science, technology, about what's actually important to society, not just about looking important to certain groups of people.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You know, anyone could have fallen into that trap.
Real quick thinking with that trapdoor in there.
Any chance I could steal you back from Scorpion? (chuckles) Nope.
Kinda got a thing for my boss.
Well, hopefully, next time I see you two (groans) it doesn't involve a catastrophe.
But I won't hold my breath.
I, uh wanted to say thanks.
We never would have survived if it wasn't for you.
Both of you.
Well, thank you, Vadat.
I guess that means I'm back into the Vor Collective? Seriously? No.
Explosive diarrhea? Kind of a hard thing for the fellas to look past.
I understand.
(exhales): (chuckles) Let's go home.
Mmm.
Boston cream.
I got jelly in my belly and a bear claw with my name on it.
I thought donuts violate STORK.
We're scrapping STORK.
Yeah.
Now we're focusing on fun.
Good.
We're done with the stupid acronyms.
No.
Freewheeling Unencumbered Newlyweds.
What's up with him? Oh, he's trying to find a loophole to the bar exam.
All you have to do is ask if you can represent yourself.
Kid Then I could be your paralegal, and I can co-chair with you, and feed you advice Sly Well, no, there's a few cases where this would actually work.
It's Sylvester.
You did the best you could.
You tried to do the impossible for me.
No matter what happens with my case, I'm a hell of a lucky guy to have a friend like you.
All right? (sets mug down) All right, I'm heading home.
Oh.
Hey, Pops, some of my online gearhead pals have cheap cars for sale.
More reliable than that heap.
(sighs) You know, I caught two bad guys with this baby.
Not to mention, the motorcycles crashing into the wagon jarred the cassette tape loose.
No, I'm sticking with it.
(starts engine) (engine squeaking, chugging) (engine knocks loudly) (loud clattering, engine sputters, dies) CABE: Little help?! How much farther? Closest garage, uh, with a lift is three miles.
Nah, two words-- “tow truck.
” Two words: “We're broke”.
You know what I want? For Paige to push for a while.
(phone vibrating) What was that? I can't hear you.
Guys, I passed the bar! Oh, fantastic! Way to go, Sly! The proctor must have put a rush on my results.
I only finished 70% of the test.
But I guess I got all 70 right.
Congratulations, Counselor.
(chuckles) You know, JD means Juris Doctor.
You're not a doctor.
Sylvester Dodd, the doctor-- sounds pretty good.
You're not a doctor.
HAPPY: Really need Paige to push now.
PAIGE: Huh? What was that? Still can't hear you.