Scrapheap Challenge s07e01 Episode Script

Sand Racers

(GASPS) Water.
Water! (MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYS) (ENGINE REVS) (RECORD SCRATCHES) (POSHLY) I say, do you know the way to Kensington, darling? Oh, left and then first right? Marvellous! (WHEEZES) Welcome to Scrapheap Challenge where two teams tussle over dodgy detritus in the search for Britain's best bodgers.
And this week our teams will take dune hooning to a new level as they manoeuvre over moguls and battle over burbs here in our smashing Scrapheap sand pit.
ROBERT: First up this week, some bona fide Scrapheap geeks - Captain Geoff and teammates Lyndon and Marc are a team of off-roading eggheads who call themselves the Anoraks.
And all fired up to take them on are the Hoselliers - Captain Spanner, Crack and Sifter are a smouldering squadron of firefighters from Lancashire.
Anoraks! ALL: Yes! ROBERT: Hoselliers! ALL: Yay! Welcome, teams.
Now, dust off you desert boots because it's time to kick sand in the faces of the opposition.
Yes, we challenge you to build beach buggies, capable of breakneck speeds and of scaling skyscraper-sized sand dunes.
And, just to make it a bit more interesting, this week we've outlawed four-wheel drives.
ROBERT: OK, teams, when the gong bongs, you have just 10 hours to sling together sand racers to scream around our stupendous sand pit! Anoraks, are you ready to brave the elements? ALL: Yes! Hoselliers, are you fired up and ready for action? Yes! Wait for it, wait for it.
(BOTH GROAN) BOTH: Go! Hey, hey - all go! (ROBERT LAUGHS) LISA: Stoking the Hoselliers' fire is beach buggy big cheese Duncan Speirs who's been dune bashing for decades.
ROBERT: And giving the Anoraks a helping hand is Paul Foley, all the way from sub-Saharan Africa where he specialises in Land Rover manufacturing and expeditions.
LISA: Four-wheel drive, providing traction to all four wheels, would be the obvious choice for anyone battling the dunes, so obviously we've outlawed it.
So the teams will have to be extra inventive to speed to success.
What about six? I was thinking a six-wheel drive.
Maybe sort of rigid chassis axles, large tyres.
What about suspension? No suspension.
We just rely on the tyres.
Cool.
Short wheelbase.
As short as possible.
Draw it up.
Engine sort of mid-mounted as much as possible.
Yep.
Big tyres then.
Skid steer for the brakes? Yep, skid steer.
Just get another pedal box.
We'd nick two pedal boxes out of something, and have one pedal box to the left, one pedal box to the right.
LISA: The Anoraks have plumped for a complex six-wheel drive design, meaning three axles will be driven by one monster engine.
And they can kiss suspension goodbye, instead, they'll just let some air out of the tyres to improve their traction.
That'll make it a real boneshaker, and if they can't find identical axles, it could shake to pieces.
ROBERT: And next door, the Hoselliers are confused.
Two-wheel drive? Or one-wheel drive? ROBERT: They're hoping that expert Duncan will turn out to be a Scotch egghead.
Nice lightweight chassis.
Lightweight chassis, yep, that's good.
Needs to be longish.
Longish, yep, keep it stable.
Do you want manual or automatic? Automatic would be the easiest.
Fancy for front suspension? Something with a bit of travel? Something with lots of travel.
Lots of travel.
Think you could draw something? SPANNER: Out comes Rolf Harris and we're off.
Biggish back wheels.
Smallish front wheel.
CRACK: So we're looking at one of them Californian racer type things? Basically, yep, yep.
That's more or less the idea.
What are we doing suspension-wise - coils, leaf springs? Yeah, coil springs all round would be a good way of doing it.
LISA: The Hoselliers want to find a two-wheel drive car and use its engine to form the basis of their rear-wheel drive sand-rail.
A box section chassis will give them a long light wheelbase for their vehicle.
Long travel shock absorbers will increase their chances of keeping traction on uneven ground.
But a small engine could leave them stuck in the sand if their wheels start spinning.
OK, shopping list.
Right, we'll go firing off.
Thanks a lot, Duncan, we'll see you later on.
Right, we need an engine.
We've gotta start with a 4x4.
As much box section as you can lay your hands on.
We're gonna need a second transfer box.
Will we need a piecost? What's a piecost? About 90 pence.
Well done.
Get out there then! Shopping.
Well, mate, are we to have a brew? ROBERT: And the race is really on between the Hoselliers and the Anoraks to sling together the swiftest sand speeder the Scrapheap's ever seen.
(SIREN WAILS) Will the Hoselliers' flame continue to burn brightly? And will the Anoraks remain cool under pressure? ROBERT: Lyndon, the Anoraks' beanpole boffin, has made a muddy beeline for the most enormous engine on the heap.
You never know your luck - it might have a battery in it and fuel.
Yeah, and pigs might fly.
ROBERT: Ah, good old Lyndon, ever the optimist.
LYNDON: It's a V8 something.
MARC: It's a big one.
(ENGINE RUMBLES) ROBERT: Ooh, ooh.
Oooh! Yeah, V8 good! Oh, you like V8? Oh, good, oh, good.
You're happy with that.
So hopefully there'll be a V8-powered vehicle.
Well, there might not be but it'll be powered by something.
I hope so.
You wanna keep it very simple, really.
Simple but complicated.
Simple but complicated, yeah.
(LAUGHS) MARC: In its own way.
ROBERT: The Anoraks just love getting down and dirty in their 4x4s.
Captain Geoff works in I and rules with a rod of iron.
I'm team captain because Marc and Lyndon couldn't organise anything between the two of them.
ROBERT: But teammate Lyndon and he don't see eye to eye.
Describe Geoff in three words? Fat.
He has a very large nose.
Hairy.
A very large nose.
And smelly.
And a huge nose.
ROBERT: Lyndon is a self-confessed geek who loves his gadgets.
My car has one or two gadgets and toys in it, starting off with a pop-up TFT display DVD player, satellite navigation ROBERT: And multi-talented Marc both fixes cars and keeps the peace in the team.
I'm a self-employed mechanic and I work mostly on four-wheel drive vehicles.
ROBERT: And this is one team who are really determined to fleece their opponents.
ALL: We are the Anoraks! (SIGHS) Alright, Karl, this one? Let's have a look.
Yep, we've an auto.
Just pop the bonnet, make sure there's an engine in it.
LISA: Meanwhile, Hosellier scavengers Crack and Sifter have clocked a Honda that suits their two-wheel drive brief perfectly.
I reckon this is the one for us, Karl.
Glad you think so.
The Three Hoselliers.
Well, there's only two of you here.
Hello! You look like you've got your car, your first vehicle all hooked up.
This is the one for us.
Won't look like this at the end of the show, obviously.
Obviously not.
So you've got the challenge, you're making a beach buggy.
Yep.
What's your basic design? Well, we're going for one of them Californian dune buggy looking things.
So we found this here - front-wheel drive, automatic.
Take this back to the yard.
Hopefully find some decent suspension parts as well then, with plenty of travel.
Very best of luck.
Hope you enjoy the day.
See you later.
Thank you.
LISA: Burly firemen Crack and Sifter are trained in vehicle rescue, but not from muddy scrapheaps.
(BEEP!) Do you want a lesson? LISA: Even extra manpower doesn't shift it.
But with Jack's help - trolley jack - it's finally free.
Well, almost.
If they remember to take it out of gear.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're in park.
(ENGINE REVS) LISA: Great teamwork from the red-hot Hoselliers.
Watch your step! (INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYS) (ALARM RINGS) LISA: These fearless Lancashire firefighters have come to throw cold water over their opponents, which happens to be something they're pretty skilled at.
But they're poles apart when it comes to the subject of who's in charge.
CRACK: Well, the captain of the three Hoselliers is Dave, and he's been democratically voted in, mainly because he was the only one that wouldn't have sulked.
I'm the captain, I'm the most important person.
(GIVES ORDERS SIMULTANEOUSLY) Captain Spanner certainly likes giving orders, so it could all unravel on the heap if teammates Crack and Sifter don't do as they're told.
CRACK: There's gonna be no conflict - Dave's gonna be telling us what to do and Karl and I will be doing what we want to do.
LISA: Captain Spanner could be left high and dry.
Water disaster.
We're the Hoselliers! And we're gonna put the opposition out - right out.
(LAUGHTER) LISA: But in the meantime, they've got that car in - right in - and they're raring to go.
CRACK: Are you happy with that? No, we want a different one to this.
Wrong colour, wrong colour and it's got a bad scratch.
Three Hoselliers.
Ah, oui, oui, madame.
So, I was chatting to the boys out on the yard earlier on.
They said you're gonna go for a kind of lightweight design.
Whose idea was that? Well, to be honest, I watch Paris-Dakar quite a lot, and there's some big sand dunes from Paris to Dakar, and that's the sort of two-wheel drive machine that wins every year.
So I'm quietly confident that we're more than capable of sinking the Anoraks with this.
Technically, we have been a bit nasty banning you from using four-wheel drives.
We've stuck the spanner in the works in no uncertain terms.
Thank you very much.
Hmm.
But is a two-wheel drive gonna be enough, realistically, to get over? Because there's gonna be, I reckon, some pretty high sand dunes.
Keep it light, keep it simple.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
If you've stopped, then that's it.
If it stops, it'll sink.
If we can keep it moving and keep it moving pretty fast, we'll not have a problem.
You'll be OK.
Have you decided who's gonna drive it yet? We want somebody with a lot of weight over the back axle so we thought Sifter's the man.
Sifter is the man.
We'll not tell him that until later on.
He'll only get big ideas.
ROBERT: Sand racing was born in 1924 when a Citroën first sped across the Sahara Desert.
But conventional two-wheel drives often got stuck.
NARRATOR: Here's a little fellow taking a flying tackle at a sand dune.
ROBERT: And it was soon discovered that four-wheel drive vehicles were best at climbing sand dunes.
Six-wheelers had even better traction but were much slower and heavier.
Back in the Anoraks' hood, Captain Geoff is waiting impatiently.
Tell us the news, guys.
What is it? ROBERT: Lyndon and Marc have spied another big four-wheel drive but there are a few things wrong with it.
Ah.
MARC: Can't use this at all.
The front diff's seized solid.
The pinion bearing's gone completely.
Petrol, diesel, V8, straight six? Straight six petrol.
What about the gearbox? Is it auto or manual? Manual looks like.
ROBERT: In fact, there's not much right with it.
Are those the only two four-wheel drives you've found? Yeah, definitely.
OK, go and get the GMC then.
ROBERT: So from plan B, it's back to plan GMC.
Yeah, I've got it.
We'll leave that.
LISA: And while Anoraks' captain Geoff is left twiddling his thumbs, next door Hoselliers' captain Spanner helps Duncan to hot wire their Honda.
Is there not like a little barrel at the back of the ignition? Yeah, we just jump it just now.
(ENGINE STARTS) Hey.
We know it runs.
We need some juice.
LISA: It may be a runner but will it work on sand? Here to give his opinion is this week's judge, Chris Scott, expert dune basher and Britain's leading authority on Saharan crossings.
As far as I know, the Hoselliers' plan is to have a rear engine, rear-wheel drive rail car, you know, long thin light car.
That makes sense, yeah.
And then the driver as well, Karl, is gonna sit over the engine.
The engine over the back axle makes a big difference.
It keeps that kind of drive in the sand, which makes it ideal.
The front end's light, when you accelerate, it lifts the front end up, which skims over the sand.
That's the kind of principle.
If it's bumpy, they lose traction from the bumps, they will skid to a halt and then they'll be stuck, and that's where a six-wheeler or an all-wheel drive vehicle has got an advantage.
I realise it's early in the day to really make a decision but I'd like to know who your money's on at the moment.
Right now I'd say my money's on the Hoselliers.
They've got a simpler build, a simple two-wheel drive, front-wheel steer vehicle that I think's gonna be probably as good in the sand as the six-wheel drive, which I think looks like a bit of a dog, really.
There's a lot of work there for not much advantage, really.
LISA: It's pouring but hardy Scotsman Duncan won't let rain stop play, so as the heavens open, so does the toolbox as he and Spanner get stuck in.
And out on the heap, Sifter has sifted through the mud and struck Scrapheap gold - a steering assembly that looks perfect for their car.
The steering hubs from the centre of those wheels are just what they're looking for.
And back at base, Spanner spanners the engine right out of the Honda.
Et voila! ROBERT: But next door, Captain Geoff is frustrated and contemplating plan D - 'D' for 'desperate'.
No, we've got some sort of drive problem.
(ENGINE WHINES) ROBERT: And on the heap, the GMC won't turn over.
Ooh, single point fuel injection we now hear.
So it's either good or bad.
BOTH: Bad.
Geoff, how do you think about the engine box in the Patrol, which has no axles? But if we go with the Patrol we've got to get that going but we also know we're gonna have to change those axles and we could end up with three different ratios.
LISA: The Anoraks need all their wheels to turn at the same speed but that means they need to find three identical axles.
Axles from different vehicles have different gear ratios, meaning their individual engines turn individual axles at different rates.
So if the Anoraks combine the axles of a tractor, a bus and a mini under the steam of a single engine, they would be each trying to turn at different rates, and their vehicle could tear itself apart.
ROBERT: Captain Geoff has run out of patience.
Come on, guys, clock's ticking.
We need to be doing some building.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY) ROBERT: Until finally his scavengers return with their first offering.
A little present.
Not a very big one.
This has got our name written all over it.
We're gonna leave the prop shaft on for now and see There's no reason why we can't leave it on for now.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Morning.
Ah, you've got an axle.
You're nearly done, then.
Great.
An axle? Oh, goodness.
This does look sort of quite complicated, doesn't it? (CLEARS THROAT) We're basically using two transfer boxes to get the drive to the six wheels, and trying to use two front axles and a rear axle.
So if it all works and it's all running really well, you've got enormous amounts of traction.
Presumably you need a lot of power, then, to make all that move.
Power shouldn't be a problem but the bigger the better.
So what's the priority at the moment? Is getting axles, is that the Basically all at once, really.
We need our three axles, we need our chassis.
But obviously, you know, the clock is ticking.
Yes, yes.
Hopefully they'll have that in in a minute.
Suddenly it'll all come together I hope so.
at about 11:00 tonight.
(ALL LAUGH) ROBERT: Without any working axles, this beast is really gonna put those quads to the test.
Three, two, one (LAUGHS) ROBERT: Which they fail.
So they try a different tactic We need two ropes.
We can do it, let's try it.
(ENGINES REV) PAUL: Nup.
ROBERT: Which still fails to shift the Nissan.
I think the rope's come off.
So the Anoraks begrudgingly return the Hoselliers' quad.
As I said earlier, it'll never run.
(LAUGHS) Here, you can have it back now.
OK.
We've broken it so (LAUGHS) Right, thank you.
Nice doing business with you.
Oi, Sifter, back out there.
ROBERT: It looks like they're gonna have to put in some spadework to dislodge it from the mud.
And they'd better start soon.
Teams, you have six hours remaining.
Six hours remaining, teams.
Thank you.
LISA: Back at the fire station, Captain Spanner and expert Duncan get stuck into the engine compartment of that Honda to provide the mounting points to hold that engine in place, until leading fire officer Captain Spanner manages to set it alight.
Calling on all his years of training, he does what he does best and puts it out.
Right out.
(THUNDER RUMBLES) But if Spanner hadn't, the torrential rain soon would have.
Right, just hold on to that.
I'll go and prop it.
ROBERT: Oh-ho.
Oh-ho, look at that.
Oh, I see - cut the car in half, very Scrapheap.
Tell me what's going on here, guys, because I'm really not up to speed with what you're doing at all.
We've got that engine over there that we've taken out.
We've taken this and we're gonna use this to tie all the bits together.
And basically where we're gonna sit is here.
I'm gonna sit in here, engine behind us, some more suspension off the scrapheap for the front end.
LISA: The Hoselliers have cut the engine out of their Honda, and it'll now form the rear of their vehicle.
They intend to add a chassis and suspension to make themselves a beach buggy to be proud of.
I mean, just having got stuck in sand once or twice, with only two-wheel drive, if you stop, is it a problem to get going again? Don't get stuck in the first place.
That's the key? The key is don't stop, keep moving.
Don't get stuck in the first place.
So it's gonna be pretty light, then, isn't it? I mean, that engine is out of a much heavier car Sifter's gonna be the heaviest item.
Right.
(LAUGHTER) Sifter, you're gonna be doing the driving, are you? Looks like it.
You've been voted in by the captain.
Spanner's our captain so his word's gospel.
Oh, is it? Right.
You've never listened to me yet! ROBERT: Anoraks scavenger Lyndon is getting frustrated having brought home just one measly Land Rover axle from that long shopping list.
It's also incredibly heavy.
You reckon you can pull it over centre with the quad bike? ROBERT: But it looks like things may be looking up for him.
That trailer's got another Land Rover axle.
Can't do anything with that at the moment, can we? ROBERT: Unfortunately, the concept of pulling vehicles on their wheels seems to have escaped Lyndon in his quest to pick up trailer trash.
Flip it that way.
Alright.
Whoa! ROBERT: Actually, I think some teams have scrap thrust upon them and some teams are born for scrap.
And these boys, the Anoraks, they're born for it.
And it's HORRENDOUSLY complicated.
Really, their build? (LAUGHS) Yes.
Yes! Whereas, on this side, with the three Hoselliers, because they're northern, they're down-to-earth, they don't panic, they know what they like.
But, yes, I think Captain Spanner, who is the self-proclaimed captain, he is a typical Scrapheap captain.
He said he was gonna be captain, he shouts the loudest and that's why what he says goes.
I think they're level-pegging there on that one because Geoff, the captain of the Anoraks, nobody else regards him as the captain at all.
They're not the slightest bothered.
They didn't even know he was the captain, I think they just ignore that.
But they're enjoying it, they're happy.
I love that - I love seeing engineers in the rain smiling.
Yeah, apart from Lyndon who looks slightly less happy than the others.
Yeah, because he doesn't mind doing a bit of mud at the weekend.
But, you know, on your day job, you sit behind a nice clean computer, it's not quite like that here.
Whereas the firemen, you know, getting dirty and grubby and slightly stained, all part of a day's work - they love it.
ROBERT: So while the Hoselliers are making sparks fly as their sand-rail begins to take shape, the Anoraks remain firmly at the drawing board wondering how to make a six-wheel drive vehicle with only four wheels and no engine.
Building sand-going mobiles from scrap is all very well, but for the real thing, you want something like this - it's the Bowler car, and it's built by Drew Bowler.
Hello, Drew.
Welcome to Scrapheap.
Before I ask you all about your car, can we have a ride? Sure, let's go.
Fantastic.
We're not gonna go too crazy.
Oh, go on! Show me what you can do.
Just a little bit, perhaps.
Excellent.
Bring it on.
How does driving on sand alter from any other kind of off-roading? You need a very smooth spread of power all the time.
What happens if you put too much power on? You'll just sink in the sand.
What experience have you had of sand off-roading? We rally in Morocco and things like the Paris-Dakar.
Oh, fantastic.
This car's just come back from the Paris-Dakar.
(LAUGHS) So would you want kind of low tyre pressure on very sinky sand? On this car we have automatic tyre inflation, so from the console in front of you, you can actually alter each individual tyre pressure.
Oh! Yeah! Whoa! Wheelspin! (LAUGHS) ROBERT: Eventually, after a bit of spadework, the Anoraks dislodge the Nissan from the Scrapheap quagmire.
Mind now.
Down here.
Chop the chassis off there, mount two axles between the engine and gearbox, mount the other two axles onto it.
Cut all the body away, just leaving that driving position.
That's gotta be a forward step.
ROBERT: They're gonna use the existing chassis as they're short of time but there isn't much space in there for three axles.
Best get it running.
No.
No, we'll get the body off, then worry about that.
(ENGINE RUMBLES) ROBERT: And they're also going to use an engine they haven't even tested.
(ENGINE RUMBLES) It's quite a long transmission, isn't it? Yeah, it's all a bit back to front for what we want.
ROBERT: But this late in the day, beggars can't be choosers.
We can't get the axles close enough together and have props.
Anoraks, you're doing a six-wheel drive vehicle, from the sound? You've got your three axles - are you happy with all of those? We've got a problem with this one - this one's broken at the moment.
So we've gotta replace it, which we sort of didn't expect when we dragged this out of the scrapheap.
So where did this engine come from? This is a Nissan Patrol that we found out in the scrapheap.
OK.
And does it go well? We don't know yet either.
It's a nice big strong engine but we haven't tried it.
I think the main thing at the moment is getting the axles in the right position, getting them all linked up and then we'll worry about, you know, a little thing like that later.
A little birdie told me you're not quite all in agreement about Geoff being captain.
Geoff likes being known as captain.
I just call him "team spokesman", basically.
Oooh.
Back to the vehicle in hand, has anybody volunteered themselves or been volunteered to drive? That's going to be the captain's decision, I think, who drives.
So Lyndon will be deciding then.
(LAUGHTER) ROBERT: There's lots to do - most importantly work out that complex six-wheel drive system.
You see what I'm saying? So we drop that between there.
We've then got a long - well, not that long - but we've got a space to put a T and an L going down the front axle.
If the drive isn't directly in a straight line, it's just gonna explode.
And as you're gonna be sitting on it, all the bits are gonna go up your Well, that's Marc's problem, not mine.
(LAUGHTER) LISA: Over the fence, the Hoselliers are - oh, taking a sneaky peek at the opposition.
It'll never run.
Nah.
They haven't even got an engine.
Far too many wheels.
Alright, we'd better get going then.
LISA: They're clearly not feeling any heat from the Anoraks and are basking in the glow of their own confidence.
Though Spanner's confidence might not extend to Crack's knowledge of vehicle terminology.
I've got the hubs off.
And we're just cutting through a few of these tracker head track the steery bits off.
We could do with you back up here, really.
LISA: And Crack's not that confident in Spanner's welding.
Is this your welding, Dave? Yeah.
It's a bit pants, innit? I'd like to see you do better.
(LAUGHS) LISA: But one thing they all have confidence in is the sledgehammer, nicknamed Big Arnie.
(IMITATES SCHWARZENEGGER) 9 millimetre! No.
Oop.
LISA: And, as they're a team, at least they know if anything goes wrong, they can blame each other.
Duncan, Dave was hitting your racer with a big hammer.
Oh, hang on.
LISA: And they frequently do as their box section chassis comes together.
Give it a proper thump, not one of them nancy thumps like you were doing before.
(LAUGHS) Hey! ROBERT: It's an uphill struggle for the Anoraks, and Captain Geoff is desperate to start up their engine.
The other thing we can do is once we've got that off, we can fire up the engine.
I think we've got to get on with this and when we're Someone can be doing that a bit later.
ROBERT: Oh, maybe not.
Meanwhile out on the heap, Marc has tracked down a crucial transfer box.
That's the L-drive.
Obviously it's got another output to it.
The Anoraks already have one transfer box from the Nissan that they will use to get drive from the engine to both the back axles.
But they'll need at least one more to get drive to the front as well.
And the happiest they've been all day is when they discover that their splines fit together.
That is gonna work really well.
We're ready to weld that now.
That was a good moment.
(LAUGHS) ROBERT: Aw, it must be an engineering thing.
No, the sun's shining so I'm happy.
(SCOFFS) Lyndon's probably lying with his feet up somewhere.
ROBERT: In actual fact, gadget geek Lyndon is up to his knees in mud, soaked to the skin and generally not having a very good time.
And that's tickled the Hoselliers.
I said to him earlier on, I said, "How's your build going? You like it, don't you?" He's going (LAUGHS) Miserable bugger.
Miserable as sin.
(DOLEFULLY) "If it's raining, I don't like it.
" I don't know.
I don't know.
I wanna go home.
Now, you see, I went in to see the Anoraks and I'm a little bit concerned about them, I have to say.
Because, for a start, you've got captain issues because Lyndon, I think, wants to be the captain, really.
I think give it a couple of hours, tempers are gonna seriously be fraying in there.
Anoraks are gonna be in a twist.
Oh.
Yeah, zips stuck.
(LAUGHS) Zips stuck.
The furry bits fraying, you know.
Could be trouble.
It's a classic example, that we've seen before, where there's one HIDEOUSLY complicated build with a team that doesn't get on, doesn't know what to do, and a really simple one.
But I have to say, quite often the hideously complicated one with the team that doesn't get on sails away and wins and the really simple one falls to bits in a really simple way.
But then their expert - Duncan - his approach to it is, "What happens if you do get bogged down "going up a hill with the two-wheel drive?" (IMITATES DUNCAN) "You don't stop.
" "Yeah, I know.
I know, Duncan.
But what happens if you DO get stuck?" (IMITATES DUNCAN) "No, you don't get stuck.
" LISA: Duncan, the hairy hero of the Hoselliers, has already been working them hard.
Look at it - it's a Baja buggy! LISA: But now things are going to get complicated.
You want to see some technical stuff? Yeah.
But, I mean, what's it all about? LISA: The Hoselliers' suspension uses triangular supports called wishbones, similar to racing cars.
Duncan's design is known as a double wishbone suspension.
Two wishbones hold the wheel hub and allow it to move up and down with a diagonal piece which connects to the shock absorbers.
Wishbone suspension is light and irons out bumps to try and keep all four wheels on the ground, but the Hoselliers must build it strong enough to survive the tremendous stresses of our undulating course.
Get it wrong and their suspension will bottom them right out of the race.
ROBERT: After a bad start, Lyndon's mood briefly improves.
Ah-hah! Look what I found! I think we found a transfer box! ROBERT: But not for long as an unseasonal hailstorm descends upon the heap.
Can't believe it! Just till we can get it in there.
LYNDON: Look at the table.
Unbelievable.
Teams, come rain, hail or shine, you have four hours remaining! Four hours remaining, teams.
As darkness falls, the Anoraks reappraise their work and realise that all they've done is join their two rear axles together.
You can imagine this as being the prop shaft, so we have that on there, that on there so that is doing your prop shaft job just with a universal joint at one end at each end.
And then your L on here.
OK.
Do you think that would work? No, you're right, that would work.
LISA: But nothing's a strain for free and easy firemen, the Hoselliers, who are discussing their design over dinner.
Is there any way that we can get flames coming out of it? (LAUGHS) Pour petrol over it and set fire to it.
LISA: Break over, they steam into action, creating their all-important sand racer suspension.
Will I give that to you, Duncan? Thank you.
LISA: And with just the addition of a safety seat, this pocket rocket begins to look like a sand racer to be reckoned with.
Unfortunately Sifter isn't pocket-sized.
Get that gorilla bar - we're gonna have to shoehorn him into this rascal.
Hang on, hang on.
Look who's here.
Oh, look, look.
What's going on then? Oi.
What's up with this, then? It looks really proper.
It looks like the front end of a Formula One.
Very similar.
Is it? Oh, yeah.
Look at that.
There'll be quite a lot of play on it, so you've got lots of suspension.
Lots of travel.
Have you had this engine running? Yeah, the engine's running.
That's sensible.
I don't wanna say anything about the team next door and their engine.
Oh, dear.
No-one's seen it work yet.
But I'm sure it will.
I'm looking forward to seeing that first and it all goes like that.
As long as it doesn't go like that.
That's not good.
ROBERT: Back next door, the Anoraks are working so frantically that having something to sit on hasn't even crossed their minds.
Oh, do you know, it's just the job.
How's it all going? Beautifully, from down here.
ROBERT: With less than two hours left, the Anoraks have finally worked out how to put their six-wheel drive system together and it's not a pretty sight.
Scary angle.
Yeah, well (LAUGHS) LISA: Transfer boxes simply transfer the movement of a drive shaft from one direction to another.
The Anoraks' Nissan already has one transfer box which they've moved to the back of the vehicle to connect their rear two axles.
The green T-shaped box joins the engine to the back end.
The third drive shaft on the green case is in turn attached to the L-shaped transfer box which is attached to a drive shaft which turns the front axle, giving them six-wheel drive.
Confused? You're not the only one.
ROBERT: The Anoraks finally decide to make some brakes, and they've left it to Lyndon who doesn't seem to know which way is up.
Teams, the sands of time are trickling away.
You have one hour remaining! One hour remaining, teams.
Whooo! And with an hour to go, the final transfer box is shoehorned into place.
Try your gentle persuasion device.
So, run me through it.
How is that engine gonna drive those six wheels on your six-wheel drive? The engine drives the gearbox, comes out the gearbox into the first transfer box.
The first transfer box first of all goes straight out into our second transfer box, which then feed forwards to the middle axle and rearwards to the rear axle.
And the front axle comes from the gearbox through the transfer box sideways through our L transfer box through this prop shaft up to the front axle.
Now, last time I was in here, you hadn't actually started the engine.
So I'm assuming you have now started the engine.
No.
No.
No.
OK.
Not exactly.
You really ought to try and get it started.
So, Chris, have you changed your mind at all about Let's assume they're both working.
Have you changed your mind? Actually, I haven't, no.
I'm still with the Hoselliers.
No, I'm sure they're gonna do well.
As long as they've got a good driver, as long as nothing breaks.
I just feel it's a simpler, more kind of confident design, whereas the multi-axle thing really It looks great, I'm sure, but it's not gonna be a racer.
LISA: The pace the Hoselliers are going at, you'd think someone had dialled 999.
Alright? Yeah, that's lovely.
That'll do.
Now, the Hoselliers have got what they've done in the last hour is really build the whole of the front thing - that suspension system, the steering.
Cut this off, it's gonna be perfect.
The Anoraks, I really do think there's no way they'll ever get anywhere near finished.
Well, from the beginning, really, they looked like they weren't terribly organised.
They had a very complex build.
Yeah.
And, you know, even with two hours to go, they were in bits.
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS) ROBERT: If that engine doesn't start now, the Anoraks might as well pack their bags.
(ENGINE CHUGS THEN BANGS TWICE) Ooh! (ENGINE RUMBLES) Purring like a pussycat, or something.
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS, RUMBLES) Yes! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (LAUGHS) Whoo! ROBERT: The engine runs, after a fashion.
The broken axle is finally replaced.
Here you go, Marc.
ROBERT: But there's a problem with the gearstick.
Excuse me, no! Without a shadow of a doubt, I am not sitting with that gear lever there.
ROBERT: Last but not least, Lyndon's brakes are attached to give them skid steering.
Because their driving system is really complicated, isn't it? You've got to be able to change gear, clutch, throttle and those two things.
Brakes.
And change gear all at the same time.
I hope Marc's a good driver.
Yes.
There's that thing where sometimes the teams are all desperate to drive.
Not the Anoraks - none of them want to drive it.
The seat is fitted for you.
We're off.
Have you got a favourite, though, Lisa? I'm not sure if I have, really.
I'm a bit torn now.
I would give the Hoselliers bonus points for having an expert with such a long ginger beard because that's excellent.
You'd have to give bonus points for the beard.
And to do grinding like that with a thing that's spinning around that close to your beard with no fear At the last minute, the Hoselliers realise their suspension is wonky.
That looks alright there to me.
CRACK: Dave, you know what your eyes are like.
LISA: But the firemen know exactly how to deal with a problem like that.
Just whack it with an 'ammer.
Yeah.
Whack it with an 'ammer.
OK, teams, the sands of time have run out! (CHEERING) LISA: Yes! Well done.
Now, sleep well, teams, because tomorrow's going to get hot under the collar as we go on a Saharan safari of Scrapheapian proportions.
Well done, teams.
You've done brilliantly.
Well done! Thank you.
Thank you very much.
(LAUGHTER) Beer's on you.
(LAUGHS) Bet the pub's shut.
ROBERT: Our teams are making the most of tinkering time.
The Anoraks have a complicated, heavy, six-wheel drive vehicle with no suspension whatsoever.
The Hoselliers have gone for the light touch, with a two-wheel drive racer using long travel suspension forks to cope with uneven ground.
LISA: Three tough rounds lie ahead.
First of all, a seriously steep hill climb which will more than test their traction.
Second, it's a slippery speed challenge.
And finally, a giant obstacle course with bumps and berms that will truly test their mettle.
Sifter is in the driving seat for round one.
A devious doglegger means he won't be able to scale this hill using momentum alone.
Have you walked up it? It is quite steep.
It's steeper than it looks, isn't it? They've got two-wheel drive light car.
Yep, yep, automatic gearbox.
Automatic gearbox.
Couldn't be easier to drive.
All they've gotta do is steer it, press the pedal, really.
The two-wheel's gotta nail it up here to get up there, really.
And what about the Anoraks? I haven't actually seen theirs move.
I've heard it, though.
Yeah.
The Anoraks have got a class A turkey on their hands, unfortunately.
It's gonna be a Scrapheap classic.
LISA: Will the Hoselliers' low-powered but lightweight sand-rail make the grade? OK, Hoselliers, prepare to douse your opponents' ambitions.
On the sound of the horn, buggy on down! (BLOWS HORN) Go on! Go on! Go on! Come on! Come on! ROBERT: Oh, it's too easy! Too easy.
Come on! Come on! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) Brilliant! Nice run.
Nice one.
That was too quick and too easy.
That wasn't hard enough for them.
LISA: And the Hoselliers surged up the hill in 13.
4 seconds.
13.
4.
Hmm.
I reckon they can do it in 13 point 4 hours.
No, I think they're gonna be quicker than we think.
LISA: With drive going to all six wheels, the Anoraks reckon they can't be outdone on traction.
But has their heavy vehicle got the speed to match the Hoselliers'? Anoraks, on the sound of the horn, zip up the hill! (BLOWS HORN) LISA: And away he goes! Oh, it's going fast! (LAUGHS) CHRIS: I don't know.
LISA: Come on, Marc! LISA: Oh.
(REVS ENGINE, GEARS CRUNCH) (ENGINE STOPS) LISA: That six-wheel drive has backfired.
They've left too much air in their tyres, and clearly don't have enough traction.
Shall we let down the tyre pressures then? We've got nothing to lose.
Just to see.
LISA: If Marc tries to stop them spinning by pulling the skid steer brakes, he simply makes them spin on the other side.
With no grip, they can't continue, and that's cost them a one minute time penalty.
ROBERT: On to round two.
This 500-metre sandy circuit around the dunes is flat and fast.
It's time for our teams to test their top speeds.
LISA: Winners go first, and it's the Hoselliers, this time with Spanner in the hot seat.
With such a light vehicle, this is the round that the Hoselliers should excel at.
On the sound of the horn, set sail your ship of the desert.
(BLOWS HORN) Come on, Dave! LISA: And he's off! ROBERT: Spanner's quick off the mark, but he seems to be holding back a little.
He's not exactly thrashing it, is he, at the moment.
CRACK: Come on! Come on, Dave! ROBERT: With such a big lead already, Spanner isn't taking any risks.
Come on! It's made it through.
Go on! Here he comes.
LISA: Go on, Spanner! That's better.
Come on, Spanner! ROBERT: Oh, it's lovely, isn't it? It works really, really well.
Come on! Whoo! Well, it's very uneventful, really.
It is.
I mean, he went round and then stopped.
Yes.
LISA: Spanner managed to get round in a tyre-spinning 46 seconds.
ROBERT: Next up, the Anoraks.
Their heavy vehicle wasn't built for sprinting but driver Marc looks determined.
(BLOWS HORN) Go on! Come on, Marc! (LAUGHS) Oh, my word! Look at him go! ROBERT: That's going very well! CHRIS: Can't beat the old 2.
8 Nissan.
It's a great engine, really.
It's a classic engine.
Yeah.
ROBERT: And that determination is paying off.
That skid steering means they can turn on a sixpence, and Marc's expert handling is making the most of it.
ROBERT: Lovely bit of cornering.
(LAUGHS) LYNDON: Whoa! (LAUGHS) Great one! Nice one, Anoraks.
Yeah, very good.
Very good.
Well done, Anoraks, that was great.
Yeah.
ROBERT: It looked like a winner but despite their respectable time of 52 seconds, the Anoraks were pipped at the post by the Hoselliers.
LISA: The last round will really test our team's vehicles to the limit.
Our round three has hairpin bends, a series of 3-foot high dunes and a near vertical drop into a 9-foot deep ditch.
The best cumulative time overall will win.
But there's a 30-second penalty if they have to be dug out.
Sifter has more than a minute's lead on the Anoraks.
It should be just a walk in the park.
But the tension is all too much for Captain Spanner.
(BLOWS HORN) Come on, Sifter! See it through! Go on! (LAUGHTER) (REVS ENGINE) Come on! ROBERT: It's not that tight that corner, is it? I think he was going too fast.
Actually, he's got problems with the front wheel.
It's gone a bit too bendy, I think.
CRACK: Come on, Sift! DUNCAN: Take your time, lad.
ROBERT: Disaster at the first corner.
Their steering's totally bent out of shape.
These 3-foot berms will test their suspension.
ROBERT: Yes! Ow! He's gotta keep going.
(REVS ENGINE) (ENGINE WHINES) ROBERT: Sifter's crashed and burned.
He's blown it! When you make that sort of noise with an automatic gearbox, is it good? I don't think it is, no, no.
(LAUGHS) ROBERT: He took those berms too fast, and now he's left spinning in the sand.
That's a 30-second penalty.
(BLOWS HORN) ROBERT: Doesn't look like he can actually steer it.
No, they've completely cocked up the steering, yeah.
Whoa.
By now the steering wheel is definitely working in an advisory capacity.
CRACK: Gun it! ROBERT: He's actually using his fiddler brakes to steer.
SPANNER: Good! CRACK: Good job! Gun it! Use the fiddler brakes! Come on! Come on! Come on! ROBERT: The steering might have gone because he's hitting every bollard there is, isn't he? He's wrecked the course.
He has.
CRACK: Come on! SPANNER: Go on! Go on! Come on! Go on! Go on! Get it up there! Go! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (CHEERING) LISA: Oh, mate.
SPANNER: Give us your hat, mate.
What happened at that first corner, Karl? Steering snapped.
DUNCAN: Not on the first corner.
Did it? SIFTER: Mmm.
LISA: Oh, dear.
Well, considering this happened on the first corner and you still managed to finish, I think that's blooming impressive.
Just heard from the men in white coats, Chris.
The cumulative time for the Hoselliers is now four minutes.
And the cumulative time so far for the Anoraks is two minutes.
So it basically means if they can do it in under two minutes, they've won the contest.
Let the battle commence.
Marc, you do know you can do this, don't you? It's gone from being completely out of reach I don't know what the times are but I can't tell you exactly what the times are.
But I can tell you it's possible.
It's close.
Well, look, go for it.
Do your very, very best.
All your teammates are rooting for you.
So am I.
Enjoy yourself.
I'll see you afterwards, Marc.
Thank you.
On the sound of the hooter, grab your handles and go! (BLOWS HORN) LISA: And off he goes! He means business, this one.
ROBERT: Got round that corner.
Keep it going.
CHRIS: Come on, two minutes.
LISA: Go on! ROBERT: He's doing alright, he's doing alright.
If he gets over this alright.
ROBERT: Marc is going hell for leather, but he's on the berms that stopped the Hoselliers in their tracks.
ROBERT: He did tell me earlier on his sister is an osteopath.
She'll be having A busy weekend lined up for her, I think.
(LAUGHS) He may be visiting his sister.
Oh! Oh! Oh! That must have hurt.
ROBERT: Unbelievable! Can anything stop him now? Come on, Marc! Come on, Marc.
Come on! Come on, Marc! LISA: Brilliant.
Come on, Marc! ROBERT: Oh, he didn't get round there.
What a shame.
ROBERT: Oh, no, he's blown it on that last corner.
Will the Anoraks fall at the last hurdle? LISA: Go! Whoo! Yay! (LAUGHTER) That's a car to have, then - a six-wheel It's obviously what you need.
In the Sahara next time, don't worry about steering, you can cut that.
Or suspension.
Yep, two big levers.
Oh, God.
LISA: The race is over.
It's incredibly close! But only one team can go through to the next round.
Well, teams, what a challenge it has been.
After the coldest build day in Scrapheap history, you both managed to build two fantastic machines.
The way that we have worked it out is cumulative time over all three events.
So we've added up the time.
And I can tell you, that when we did that, the winners by 42 seconds are the Anoraks.
So well done.
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) That's a shame, mate.
Oh.

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