Sea Patrol (2007) s02e02 Episode Script

Fortune Favours

Hey, Bomber, what's for lunch? Fish.
And chips? And salad.
How come you never cook chips? Saving you from cholesterol.
Yeah, but chips goes with fish, just like tomato sauce goes with meat pies.
Just like fat goes with a heart attack.
Yeah, but there's fat in the fish and the batter.
And those burgers you cooked yesterday.
So, uh, what's your problem with chips? (WHISPERS) Food snob.
Are you a food snob? Or the big question, Bomber, did you have a bad experience with a chip in your past? (LAUGHS) You broke the record! You set me up? You had 4 minutes and 22 seconds remaining.
They gave me five minutes for you to throw something.
Hey, I'm good.
Bomber by name, Bomber by nature.
What's going on? Uh, Bomber was just teaching Spider how to juggle eggs.
That the gash, is it, Bomber? Yes, Buffer.
Good.
Since you guys like throwing stuff at each other so much we'll have that up on deck now.
Drill in two minutes.
Yes, Buff.
OK, this exercise is designed to hone the skills of the boarding party when faced with a non-compliant FFV.
Swaino, Bomber, RO, you're my fishermen.
You'll be on board the FFV.
As the boarding party approaches you defend yourselves with this.
You are to offer passive resistance only, OK? No weapons and no violence.
If the XO or myself call out your name, you're out.
This is an exercise only.
OK? So don't get carried away.
Any questions? Yeah, Buff, have I got time to get some rubber gloves? I don't want to touch that.
No, you don't.
Buff, can I go to the toilet? Let's go.
That's softer than the stuff they normally throw at us.
XO ON RADIO: XO to Buffer, boarding party on approach.
Roger that.
Fishermen, stand by.
XO: OK, Buffer, here we come.
BOMBER: Alright, let's get 'em.
Righto, in your own time.
XO: Hit 'em.
Hit 'em hard.
MAN: Get out of it, navy.
Put your poles up, sir.
Put your poles up! Get away, navy! MAN: Have some fruit, boys.
MAN 2: Spider, this is for you.
Put the poles Ah! You're out! Just a flesh wound! Righto, you're out, ET.
You're out! Oi! You're out.
Alright, pull your poles in.
MAN: Poles are coming in.
Get that pole in, Bomber.
Back off, navy! Come on, Bomber, get that pole in.
Flaring! MAN: We're going in.
Boarding! Move.
Step back.
Ma'am.
Put down the weapon.
I mean it, ma'am.
Put the weapon down.
Now, step away from the cauliflower.
It's a broccoli, you idiot.
Turn around, please.
Put your hands behind your back, ma'am.
Bet you wouldn't have dropped it if it was a chip.
Bomb, look, there's a chip on your shoulder.
Chippy, chip, chip Hey, hey, hey! Swaino! Argh! Righto, exercise is over! You, in the RHIB, now! Bomber.
What did I say? "No contact, no violence.
" What the hell were you thinking? If Swaino and I hadn't have grabbed him he'd have gone overboard and you'd be up on disciplinary charges.
I'm really sorry.
But it was just a push.
Sometimes I have a bit of a short fuse I don't care how you dress it up, you've got a serious problem with your temper.
Yes, Buffer.
(SIGHS) What did he say to you? Spider, that made you go him? Nothing.
I'll be discussing this incident with the Swain and XO before I decide whether to lay charges.
What? Buffer, I'll do anything If I had my way you'd be off this boat right now.
There is no room on boats for people with a short fuse.
You're a liability.
I'm so sorry.
It won't happen again.
No, it won't.
I suppose everyone's talking about me.
Oh, that's the part where you're supposed to say that they're not.
Oh, I don't do nice.
You could try Nikki.
Actually, I prefer honest.
I heard what Spider said to you on the boat.
He was teasing you about chips again - what is it with you and chips? Every time I take a new posting, it's the same thing.
People trying it on with me.
RO, I just want to do my job, fit in.
Nobody likes me, do they? No, nobody likes your temper.
Have you ever tried nice? (SIGHS) I'll stick with honest.
You're gonna be fine.
Really? Yeah You're a good cook.
BUFFER: I thought the Charge was stabbed.
Did they hit him over the head as well, boss? 'Hammersley' go ahead.
He is doing Tai Chi.
Yeah.
And if you were doing it I wouldn't be asking, but it's the Charge.
Charge is fine, he's been given a clean bill of health.
Sir? And he'll be getting a citation for his bravery.
Yes, RO? I just got a call from Coastwatch - they've spotted two men adrift in a tinny Gosh, out here? Yeah, one of them's signalling the plane, the other one doesn't appear to be moving.
Nav, plot this.
Yes, sir.
Starboard 10, steer 0-2-0.
MAN: Starboard 10, steer 0-2-0.
Do you hear there? Navigator speaking.
We're altering course to investigate a small boat who appears to be in distress.
Stand by to recover by sea boat.
Any sign? (SIGHS) Where do you think they've come from? Oh, no idea.
Oh, sir, we're coming up on the coordinates.
Anything on radar? I've hooked a possible contact which might tie in but a tinny's so small, it's hard to pull out of the clutter.
Boss? I have the tinny visual.
Green, 2-0.
Great, X.
Let's get the sea boat in the water.
Nav, away sea boat.
Wow.
Spider, I'm so sorry.
I really am It's fine, really.
Couldn't you just hit me or something and we'd be even? I don't hit people.
Stuff you, then.
Spider! Come on.
Hey, Buffer, do you need an extra hand? Nah.
MAN: Visors down.
Ready in the sea boat! MAN 2: Visors down, ready in the sea boat.
Carry on the sea boat.
Get them off me! Get them off me! They're crawling on me.
Get them off me.
Help! They're all over me.
Sir, just calm down, please.
Get them off me.
Get them off me! Sir, calm down.
Get them off! Help! Get them off! Sit down.
You right, Swaino? Hey, sit down there.
You right, Swaino? Yes, mate.
Yes.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Calm down.
You're safe, mate.
You're safe.
Righto, let's get him out of here.
Alright, hold it.
Righto, let's go! They got so thirsty they started drinking salt water.
That stuff'll send you mad.
Sounds like it nearly did.
What's Swaino say? He says they'll be fine once he gets them rehydrated.
How'd they get out here? They anchored next to a coral reef and then they took their tinny off to go diving.
They go diving, they come up and see their boat motoring away.
Did they see who took her? No.
And no sign of the boat that brought the thieves.
Well, this'd be the third taken in the last two months.
Did the boaties see which direction the boat was heading? Yeah - south-east.
Come to south-east, Nav.
We're coming up on Truman Island.
Doesn't some rich bloke own the whole thing? Yeah - Ray Walsman.
We evacuated him some time back from the Samaru Islands.
Is that right? You were off getting your dolphins at the time - or, at least, you were supposed to be.
God, I miss the submarines.
Nice bloke.
Said we should drop in if we were passing by.
Eyes front.
If these boat thieves have held to their same course, they would've passed right through here.
He might've seen something.
Or he might've been a target himself.
You want me to radio him, sir? No.
Buffer, organise a shore party.
Sorted, boss.
Oh, take Bomber.
Use her or lose her, Buff.
She's no good as decoration.
Spider.
You two stay here and behave.
BOMBER: Where are you going? To say hello.
She's way out of your league.
Nice to see you again.
What brings you to this neck of the woods? We're following a stolen boat.
Wondered if you'd seen any vessels come past your island.
Yeah.
Nice to see you again.
Good to see you, sir.
You haven't got a phone on this fancy new boat of yours? No, it's alright.
I know you wanted to have a stickybeak at my secret hideaway, didn't you? And it's OK.
Come on, let me show you around.
No point having it if you can't show it off.
Hey there.
I'm Billy.
Or you can call me Spider.
Yeah, nice to meet you too.
You won't get very far if you give up that easily.
(COUGHS) That doesn't sound very good.
No, but it gets me out of study.
Oh, uni? Your stocks just went up No, Year 12.
What? So you do school from here? By correspondence.
Nice - no teachers, no classes, no detention.
No fun, no friends, nowhere to go out on the weekend.
Must be pretty cool living on an island, though.
Try being here six months.
It's a long way from anywhere.
Yeah, but, um, you've got, like, palm trees and sand and water.
And, um stunningly beautiful women.
We haven't seen anything pass by, not that we'd necessarily notice.
Might be worth keeping an eye out.
There's been an increase in boat thefts along this part of the coast.
You may become a target.
Yeah, well, don't worry about me, Captain.
I've got security.
Any unwelcome guests who turn up here might find they've bitten off more than they can chew.
Besides, my boat's in Cairns, picking up supplies.
It'll be there for a week.
So, um, you ever get to port? Sometimes.
Thanks.
Um, 'cause I've got this concert on this weekend.
I'd love to go.
Cool.
(SIGHS) But I won't be back on the mainland till my exams are over.
Well, maybe we could hook up then? I'd like that.
Yeah, me too.
Are you sure I can't offer you guys a drink? No.
We'd better get after these boat thieves.
Let me show you out.
So that's your number? What are you doing? Dad, I'm just getting some sun.
Catching pneumonia, more like.
You've already got a cold.
Go inside and do some study.
Or what? You'll ground me? Nice to see you again, Mike.
Likewise.
Boss, I think I found her.
Is that her? That's her.
That's our boat.
Can't raise them on the radio, sir.
Keep trying.
Tell them if they don't acknowledge, we'll board them.
And draft me a op-rep to NAVCOM so they know what's happening.
No-one on deck or at the wheel, boss.
Who's sailing her? Still not responding, sir.
Vessel right ahead, this is Australian warship 'Hammersley' Stop or heave to - I intend to board you.
Buffer? X! Hands to boarding stations.
Hands to boarding stations.
Hands to boarding stations.
Assume damage control state three condition voyage.
X, I want you to lead, and watch your back.
We don't know how many there are.
Sir.
This is the Australian Navy.
Make your presence known.
If you are below deck, make your presence known now.
Going below deck, boss.
Hello.
Is anybody here? (COCKS GUN) He's dead.
XO: Charlie 82, this is X-ray 82.
There is absolutely no indication of how this man died, sir.
There is no injury, no bruising.
Yeah, copy, X.
Any identification? No, sir.
No ID.
Look.
He has on his arm what looks like a military services tattoo.
Could be Russian.
Yeah, could be Russian.
He's a well-built guy.
Similar to the guys who stabbed Charge, boss.
Do you recognise him? I can't positively ID him, no, sir.
If he is one of that team, what would they want with an old tub like that? The bigger question is, what happened to him? No wounds, nothing.
It's like he just stopped breathing.
Did you hear that, sir? Affirmative.
Nothing more that we can do here.
OK, X.
Prepare the boat for tow.
I'll inform the authorities.
Copy that.
Takes a hell of a lot to stop one of these boys from breathing.
A dead bloke? On our boat? (LAUGHS) Man, that's karma for you.
He pinches our boat, leaves us to die and he's the one who gets it? You didn't see this man at all? No way.
Like we said, all we saw was our boat sailing away.
So is the boat OK? Is there any damage? Or? There doesn't appear to be.
So we can go back on board.
Oh, mate, your boat's a crime scene.
We're towing your boat back to port for the police to investigate.
You're kidding.
A man died on your boat.
They'll want to know why.
Sir? Their ship's log and passports.
So they are who they say they are.
And they have been where they say they've been.
How long till we're ready to tow? Spider and Buffer are setting it up now.
They're about 10 minutes off.
Do you want us to bring the body on board? No, the police want us to keep it in situ.
Bomber's bagging the body now, sir.
Charge, congratulations on your gong.
Hardly brave, getting yourself stabbed.
You know, Charge, I never expected you to be a kind of (SQUEAKS) Tai Chi kind of guy.
Yeah, physio makes me do that.
Physio? Yep.
Not the shrink? What shrink? For relaxation post-trauma.
What trauma? Some idiot stabs me with a screwdriver and missed all the important bits.
Engines are up and running.
Ready when you are, sir.
Thanks.
Hey, Charge? The body on the boat - how'd you like to take a look at ET's video? See if you recognise him? Sure.
Charge? Yeah, just, uh Iooking for something.
Well, come on, mate.
ET's waiting.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
OK.
(DOOR CLOSES) (EXHALES DEEPLY) You're a bit shaky there, mate.
CO: Charge? Is that one of them, Charge? No.
No.
I I don't think so.
And you don't recognise the boaties? No, just saw them when they came on board - a couple of hippies.
Nothing like these military guys.
Right.
Thanks, Charge.
So, what do we do now? Now? Nothing.
We've got a dead thief, no way of tracking his mates and a couple of boaties who picked an extremely unlucky time to go diving.
Do we leave it to the police? I can't see what else we can do.
Although I would like to know what killed him.
OK, Nav, are we ready to start this tow? All set, sir.
Sir, NAVCOM on the line.
We're heading straight back to Truman Island.
It's a medivac - Walsman's daughter needs urgent transfer to hospital.
I'll look after this, RO.
What are you doing? Dropping the tow.
Tidy that up, Spide.
Dropping the? But I'm meant to be prepping lunch in 10.
Too bad.
Great.
Now I'm gonna be really popular.
Tough.
There's been a medivac.
Ray Walsman's daughter's collapsed.
What? Carly Walsman? What's wrong with her? I don't know.
We stay here as the steaming party.
Could I swap with ET? 'Cause he would love to be here.
And I'm the second medic.
If there's a medical OI! You're both staying till the 'Hammersley' gets back! Oh, that smell.
It's just a fridge.
Smells like a dead body to me.
Don't be ridiculous.
The guy's been dead a while, right? Figures he'll start to decompose.
He's not in the sun.
He won't blow up for another 24 hours.
What? Same as a dead cow.
Carly will be fine.
How do you know that? She's rich.
Things don't go wrong for rich people.
Besides, Walsman's not gonna let anything happen to his precious little girl.
What? Spider! That moved! The body bag just moved! Spider, the bloke's dead.
Bomber! He moved, alright? I swear he did.
(FOOTSTEPS DESCEND STAIRS) BUFFER: I've already seen him.
You'd better not be joking, Spider.
Buff, I'm not kidding.
The guy moved, I'm telling you.
(UNZIPS BAG) He's brown bread.
No, I saw him move.
I swear I did, Buff.
(ZIPS UP BAG) Bomber Brown? I didn't see anything.
Well, something weird's going on on this boat.
Don't you feel it? Like the shadows or something, they're moving.
Buff, something happened to this guy.
Well, why don't you figure out what while you help Bomber fix us something to eat? It's a congenital heart condition.
She gets some infection in her blood, it just (SIGHS) I thought she just had a cold! You do know it's only limited, what we can do on board? Yeah, but you can get her to hospital.
Yeah.
No, Dad, you stay.
I don't Darling, I'm going to be beside you all the way.
You guys, you'll have to sort out the contract yourselves.
Alright? OK.
Come on, let's go.
Captain, X.
We're heading down now, sir.
I like what you've done with your overalls, Nav.
(SIGHS) OK, so how long's this gonna last for? What? This - you freezing me out.
We're professionals, aren't we? Yeah, we're professionals.
Good.
Well, then, let's be just that - professional.
Look, no, I've got work to do and so do you.
Yes, ma'am.
RO! ET: (CALLS) Game's up, fellas.
Looks like we do this the hard way.
Fine by me.
Come on, fella.
You jump in, or we gun the motors and drag you back.
You ever see 'Jaws' Come on, hurry up.
Get in the boat.
There's lots of nasties in there.
(GRUNTS) (SIGHS) So, something you want to tell us? Rather tell the captain.
Alright, let's go.
My boys tell me you were swimming for shore.
Innocent men don't try to run away.
What's going on? You know the dead man on your boat.
No, we don't.
You killed him, didn't you? We'll get to the bottom of this.
One way or the other.
(INDISTINCT TWO-WAY RADIO COMMUNICATION) Hang in there, sweetheart.
We'll get you to hospital.
Yeah, Captain.
Copy.
Mr Walsman.
The navy has a helicopter on stand-by.
It'll be deployed as soon as we're in range.
How long? Five hours.
Five hours?! We're going as fast as we can without blowing an engine.
That's my daughter! We'll do everything we can.
This, uh, bacterial endo Endocarditis.
He says she could die because of it.
Is that right? Well, if it goes untreated, it can be deadly.
I mean, all I can do is monitor her and give her fluids.
What she needs is IV antibiotics, but they can't do that till they take a blood sample.
What? There's something weird with her blood pressure.
Weird how? Well, if the infection had reached her heart, her blood BP should be really high, but it's not.
In fact, if anything, it's low.
So is there something else going on? I don't know.
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT) Look, alright, just do what Fleet Medical tell you.
Sir.
How's your malpractice insurance? What? Well, I'm guessing if anything happens to Daddy's little girl, Walsman's gonna take your house and your firstborn.
Thanks, Robert.
SPIDER: You hear about people who get buried alive.
You know, they're in some sort of coma.
When they wake up, it's too late, they're six feet under.
I thought stockmen were superstitious.
No, they've dug up coffins and found claw marks in the wood.
People's fingernails scraping.
And why would they dig them up? Maybe he's paralysed.
You know, he's been given an injection or something.
Like those medical stories.
You know, you see them on TV.
You know, people are given the wrong anaesthetic, they feel the whole operation.
But they can't scream, they can't talk, they can't move Spider, if you're so sure he's alive, then check his pulse.
I'm not touching the dead guy! Oh, right.
You're the medic.
I thought he wasn't dead.
Spider.
Mmm? Stay right where you are.
What? Just relax, stay calm.
Don't move a muscle.
What? What are you talking about? There's a snake behind you.
Yeah, good one.
Just relax.
SPIDER: Buffer? Buffer! (MUTTERS) Spider! BUFFER: Whoo! About time.
I'm starving.
Hey.
(COCKS GUN) Buff, no.
It's an eastern brown.
They're deadly.
If we don't move, it won't attack, I promise.
We're fine.
They're volatile, but not if we stay calm, OK? So just (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) If anyone knows volatile We've been trying to get to the radio, Buff.
I'll, um I'll see if we're still in portable range.
(SIGHS) Man, I hope you know what you're doing.
I do.
Yeah? Yeah.
Papa 82, this is Bravo 82.
Over.
(TWO-WAY RADIO CRACKLES) Papa 82, this is Bravo 82.
Over.
(STATIC CRACKLES) RO, this is Buffer.
This is an emergency.
Do you hear me? RO: Bravo 82, this is Papa 82.
What is your emergency? Over.
You knew all along how that bloke died.
What are you talking about? Don't even try it.
My crew found the snake.
You're responsible for that man's death.
He stole our boat.
He should never have been on it.
And what about my crew? You could've warned me.
Instead, three of my sailors walked into a death trap.
If anything happens to them, there'll be charges.
Your crew What? You said they found a snake.
(BREATHES NERVOUSLY) Let's just make a run for it.
No way.
It's faster than you are, Spider.
You'll never make it.
Bomber! We can't stay here all day.
Shh.
No, you can't.
That's not the only snake on board.
What?! Those boaties, they confessed.
They've been smuggling them.
Great.
Where are they? That water container.
Ohh.
We better get outta here.
Don't! Stay still.
(HISSES) That's why the bag was moving.
This place is crawling with them.
Bomber, what do we do? I'm thinking.
Well, think quickly.
Just relax.
(AIR HISSES) (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT) (COUGHS) Is there something wrong? (LEAFS THROUGH PAGES) Well, you tell me.
I've taken your blood pressure every 10 minutes since we got back on the boat, and it's perfectly normal.
Which it wouldn't be if you really did have bacterial endocarditis.
And you're not showing any other symptoms.
(RUMMAGES IN BAG) So you're not really sick, are you? Must get lonely on that island.
You have no idea.
I didn't think it'd be that big a deal, that Dad would come.
(SIGHS) So what did you think? I just wanted one Saturday night on the mainland and I know Dad would be angry, but it'd be worth it to have one night as a normal person.
You don't have to tell anyone.
I can pay you lots.
Dad gives me an allowance and I've got nowhere else to spend it.
I can't do it, Carly.
Please? I'm sorry.
Nothing wrong with her? There's gotta be some kind of mistake.
Look, you're a navy medic.
I want someone checking out my daughter who understands her condition.
I want her on that chopper.
The chopper's been called off.
What?! Mr Walsman, there's nothing wrong with your daughter.
She just wanted to get off the island.
Are you trying to tell me that she's faking? Maybe she needs some friends her own age, you know? Don't you dare tell me how to raise my daughter.
That'll be all, thanks, Swain.
Yes, sir.
Mr Walsman, you're right.
What happens between you and your daughter, it's your business.
But right now the navy's spending $10,000 an hour to get her to a hospital she doesn't need.
And while we're off on this wild goose chase, I've got other members of my crew in a life-threatening situation and we can't help them.
I'll see that you and your daughter are comfortable until we dock in Cairns.
From there you can make your own arrangements to get back home.
I think you're supposed to grab them behind their necks.
That makes it even easier for them to bite you.
So what do we do, Bomber? You can't stay down here, Bomber.
OK, Spider, when I say 'go' Yeah? you run to the stairs Straight to the snake? It won't be there by then.
Buff, your cap.
You throw it off to the side.
Snakes are easily distracted.
They can't concentrate on two things at once.
And what are you gonna do? Don't worry about me.
You sure you know what you're doing? You ready? Yeah.
Go! (HISSING) Come on, Bomber.
Just run, Bomber! I can't run.
I've got to keep slow.
(PANTS) CO ON PIPE: Do you hear there? Captain speaking.
In preparation of Charge's presentation, all personnel to muster on the wharf in ceremonial dress.
Hey, you don't want to be late.
Yep.
Are they chips? (LAUGHS) It was never about the chips.
What was it about, then? Promise you won't tell anyone? Look, RO, I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me.
I don't do gossip.
(SIGHS) There was an accident back home with the fryer.
I was cooking for the stockmen.
Mmm.
Camp kitchen burnt to the ground.
Is that why you've been worried about using the deep-fryer at sea? Sort of.
One of the stockmen thought I was still in there.
And? He went in after me and he got pretty badly burnt.
And people blamed you.
Nup.
That's what I couldn't face.
Their kindness.
So you ran away to join the navy.
Yeah.
Listen, look, we're all running from something.
You're ahead.
At least you know what you're running from.
Buff, these disciplinary charges - I want to know if I'm gonna be suspended.
You know what I don't get? How you can be the kind of person who loses the plot over something as stupid as chips but then you're put in a real crisis and you remain totally calm.
I don't want that first person on the 'Hammersley' The second person I want her in my corner.
Just keep that temper in check.
Thank you, Buff.
(DOOR OPENS) They're all waiting for you, mate.
I don't deserve an award.
I'm not brave.
Almost got myself killed.
The only reason I'm here is 'cause he missed my pancreas by 2mm.
Did you talk about this with the shrink? I didn't think there was anything to talk about.
It wasn't a problem when I was in the office in port and he was 1,000 miles away.
Hey (INHALES DEEPLY) No, don't.
No.
Sorry.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYS) They're just happy you're still with us, mate.
That's all.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Alright, come on, let's go.
(MARCHING BAND CONTINUES)
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