Search Party (2016) s01e08 Episode Script

1 [Panting.]
Aah! [Screaming.]
[Knife plunges.]
[Screaming continues.]
[Grunts, gurgles.]
And cut! Oh, thanks, Kelly.
That was great.
You scared me.
I was scared for you.
Your scream is so real, I hate hearing you.
We Everybody was I think if I was great, I probably wouldn't be getting killed.
Portia, it has been a pleasure killing you.
That is a series wrap on Portia Davenport! [Applause.]
Thank you so much.
Thank you guys so much.
Um, Jordan, thank you for this opportunity.
And, Duncan, thank you for creating such a layered, strong female character.
It was an honor to play her.
And thank you so much to this crew for what it is that you do.
Obedear, the sky is low [Sighs.]
[Elliott groans.]
Ell? [Elliott groans.]
Baby.
Do you know? Sweetheart.
Oh, my God, are you okay? Do you know? I don't know what you're talking about.
[Inhales deeply.]
Okay, Portia.
Before you read this, I need you to know that I love you and you're my family and I need you.
Your article.
Okay, this picture's so cute.
Thank you.
Why is Julian Why is he calling you a liar? Just read it.
"I can report firsthand that Mr.
Goss enjoys regaling his sycophants with mewling woe-is-me tales of his childhood cancer.
" "And yet the reality is, Mr.
Goss never had cancer at all.
" Okay, he unraveled me with his charm.
He is a snake in a beautiful man's clothing.
It's the end of Pour.
It's the end of everything! Wait.
I'm just I'm confused.
I don't Did you have cancer or not? No, I didn't "have cancer.
" Now everybody knows it.
I'm sorry.
All this time that we've been friends, you've just been completely lying to me? Portia [Chuckles.]
Look, I wasn't lying to you, okay? I was lying to everyone, all the time.
Hey, this is nice, huh? Isn't it nice? [Chuckles.]
Lying in bed? [Laughs.]
Yeah, lying in bed.
- Yeah, it's the best.
- Yeah.
You know, it's, um way better than putting us both in danger for some Facebook friend.
Alright, yeah.
[Both chuckle.]
Well, all that Chantal stuff is over now, so You're not curious about that check from that crazy lady? It's not, like, some enticing clue for you? No, no.
There's no clues in real life, Drew.
[Chuckling.]
Oh, is that where we are? - Yeah.
- We're in real life again? - Yeah, this is it.
- Wow.
You want to go, um, ride bikes today or something? - Ugh, I want to so bad.
- [Cellphone vibrating.]
I forgot, though, I have to work with Gail today.
No! Yes.
She wants to do some stupid shit.
- No, Dory.
- I know.
- Today? - Yeah.
[Cellphone vibrates.]
No, tell her you're sick.
Come on.
We'll throw some soup in the toilet and send a photo.
Please, for me.
It would be romantic.
Tell her I'm sick and it's terminal.
Hey, um I'm just glad things are back to normal.
Yeah, me too.
[Sighs.]
- [Whistles.]
- [Cellphone vibrating.]
Jesus.
Who keeps trying to get ahold of you so bad? - Wait.
- Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
- I got it! - Drew, Drew! No, no! - Hey! Uh-uh! Chill! - Drew, give it to me! - Give it to me.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill Hey, whoa.
- What the hell? - Wait.
It's from Portia.
She says, "Everything Elliott's ever said is a lie.
" What? "A," she cannot spell.
Hi.
You know, I actually can't deal with the lecture right now.
People are tweeting the vilest things about me.
My investors are pulling out one by one.
Okay, it's a true nightmare.
But I just really don't want to do this right now.
[Sighs.]
[Inhales deeply.]
I cheated on Drew.
What?! - You're worse than me.
- No, I'm not.
What you did is much, much weirder.
- Does Portia know? - No, nobody knows.
No.
It's that It's that private-investigator guy, Keith.
- Uh-huh.
- He was helping me find Chantal.
Wait.
Is he hot? It was more about what we were doing together, you know? It was, like, really exciting, and But no.
- You can't tell Drew.
- No, right? You can't, ever.
He's too fragile.
I really, really don't want to tell him.
- Mmh-mmh.
- You know? Yeah, definitely lie.
Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.
I cannot stress that enough.
It's the kind thing to do.
Yeah, I think I feel I think I feel okay about that.
Dory, you know what? We cannot hate ourselves because we wanted to make our lives a little bit more meaningful, okay? We are two very, very nice people who made huge mistakes.
- Yeah.
- And that's okay.
[Cellphone chimes.]
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
Oh, damn it.
I have to go.
No! Dory, please, no.
I know.
I have to get a fancy coffee for a very, very lonely woman.
- Mm.
- That's my true calling now.
[Door closes.]
- Julian.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? I'm just coming by to check on him.
- Right.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And you brought a little gift.
Yeah.
Well Yeah.
So, is this, like, fun for you? Look, I didn't make up a single thing in that article, okay? He asked me to do it, so I did it.
And I wrote the truth, and the truth just so happened to be a lie.
Well good people do bad things sometimes, you know? No.
No, Dory.
Bad people do bad things.
It's really simple.
Okay, you know, whatever.
- Jesus.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Dory, look, I am done with this negative energy between us, okay? - [Scoffs.]
- And I've I've been wanting to apologize for saying that you don't have anything going on.
I could've found a better way of saying it.
Yeah, you could have.
Mm-hmm.
Well, thanks, I guess.
I mean, yeah, I'm just trying to focus on, you know, all the good and important things I already have in my life, and - Well, good.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And And good luck with finding Chantal.
Oh, well, that's done.
Not doing that anymore.
Oh.
Really? I mean, you gave me so much shit for it.
I was kind of hoping you would prove me wrong.
Well Half of it soy, and then the other half is half and half, and then an extra shot, and then just top it off with, uh, some whipped cream.
Excuse me.
Is your name Dory? Yes.
I don't know if you remember me.
I interviewed you for Leading Women to Lead.
Yes, I I remember.
I owe you a big apology.
When you interviewed, I was dealing with some personal issues.
My wife took a job in Kissimmee, things blew up But don't you think it's stupid she wants to go to Kissimmee? Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess it depends on the job, right? It's a stupid job.
Don't take her side.
She's awful.
[Chuckles.]
Okay.
But I took it out on you unfairly.
Anyway, I am conducting this new seminar.
Great girls, very troubling backgrounds, most of them Greek, which is new for us, and I really could use some help.
- [Cellphone rings.]
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I'll let you take that.
You probably hate me.
- No.
- [Chuckles.]
That makes two of us.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah.
But you know, the ceiling fell through in my office, so I'm working off my iPad here all afternoon.
If you want the job, why don't you come back at 5:00? Wow.
Okay.
Gail: [Sighs.]
I am so glad you're finally here.
All right, here's your coffee.
Oh, oh, no, I don't want it.
You know, I had yogurt this morning.
My system is collapsing.
[Cellphone chimes.]
Uh, hello? Earth to Dory.
- Yes.
- Come here.
Okay.
I'm trying out these new curtains.
I need you to get on the stepladder and be a window.
- It's gonna be fun.
- Okay.
All right.
It's just this color and the pattern and - Higher than this? - Yeah, as high as you can go.
- Dory, you're a window.
- Right.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Yeah.
[Sighs.]
- [Cellphone rings.]
- Doesn't end! Dory, stay right there, okay? - Okay.
- [Sighs.]
Oh.
Watch this.
Rosetta Stone.
Namaste.
[Speaking Hindi.]
[Sighs.]
Gail? - Gai - Oh.
Jesus, Dory, I didn't know you were still here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm here.
Um I love working with you.
I do.
You know, it's great, but I just think maybe I'm I'm done.
[Clicks tongue, sighs.]
I'm disappointed.
Thank you.
You have so much ahead of you, so much you're gonna do with your life.
[Sighs.]
Do you think you ever want to get married? You know, I don't know.
- Maybe.
- Oh.
You need to make that a priority.
I'm giving you three minutes, and then I'm kicking you out.
Okay, Marc, you actually look adorable, by the way, and I mean that.
Marc, please wait.
Marc.
Marc, wait.
Remember that time we were at Prospect Park and we saw that, like, ugly turtle, and it was, like, in the water, and it was trying to get up on the rock? And then you jumped over the fence, and you were, like, on the rock, and you, like, um you kicked it.
No, I I helped him.
Exactly.
And I just feel like, since we broke up, like there's, like, no one to, like, you know, like help me back onto the rock.
Time and again, you give me zero reason to trust you.
Okay.
I know what this is.
It's about the article.
No, I don't need an article to tell me that you're a liar.
I'm actually glad I was caught because it gives me a chance to start over.
And it gives, like, us a chance to, like just, like, to do it right this time.
You know what I mean? Okay, I I will consider taking you back if Mm-hmm.
you will admit that you are a liar and a narcissist.
Oh, my God.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, that's easy.
I'm a liar, and I'm a narcissist.
No, no, no.
I want you to feel shame.
I want you to say it again, and this time, I want you to actually feel bad about it.
Okay.
I'm a liar Uh-huh.
and I'm a narcissist.
Uh-huh.
And I'm a really I'm a terrible person.
But I'm really working on it.
I really want to believe you.
You don't have to believe me.
You just You just have to love me.
Hey, so, I just quit Gail.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
And then, randomly, I ran into that woman from that Leading Women to Lead thing, and she offered me a job.
Oh, whoa.
Wait, that's huge, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, just super, like, meant to be.
Or whatever.
So, yeah, I think it's good for me.
I-I think it's good.
Hey, we should celebrate or something.
I've been thinking, you want to take a trip? We could visit my folks.
- My dad just got a hot tub - Shit! and he's going nuts.
He keeps telling me about it.
- Shitty, shit, shit, shit! - He's called me three times today.
- He's even got his buddies calling me.
- I'm such a loser! There's, like, a buddy of his lives in Midtown.
He asked me if I wanted to meet up and talk about the hot tub.
I was like, "Uh no.
" And then he'd be like, "Okay, we're gonna run out of steam at some point," and it's all they want to talk about.
Can I call you back, babe? What? - I-I'll call you back.
- Hey.
It's all over.
All over! I'm an idiot.
You're so uncoordinated.
My ceiling fell in, and now I have this.
I love your little islands of chest hair.
[Laughs.]
I love when we walk together, people get jealous of me.
- [Scoffs.]
- It's true.
God, you're stupid.
I love, of course, your ability to forgive.
Aww, of course.
Mm.
- Of course I do.
- [Cellphone rings.]
Oh, my God.
It's my agent.
I have to get this.
Hey, Sharon.
Oh, no, it Yeah, no, it's been, like, the toughest day of my life, yeah.
But I've had, like, really amazing friends helping me through it, so [Chuckles.]
Wait.
No, no, no, no, no.
Slow down.
Oh, my God.
Is this real? Tell me this is real.
What What's going on? - Oh, my God.
- What? You are my warrior.
- What What's going on? - Okay, you're the greatest.
I mean, you are literally the love of my life, Sharon.
Okay.
I'm on my way.
- I got to go.
- Where are you going? I actually can't talk about it right now.
It's, like, very hush-hush.
It's all still, like, in the works.
What is in the works? Elliott! It's not for sure yet, but I'm gonna be famous.
[Sighs.]
[Door opens, closes.]
I got a book deal.
What? Yeah, I'm gonna be an author.
My agent's selling a memoir about my life as a liar.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I mean, it has honestly been the craziest day of my life.
I mean, I suffered all morning, and since then, I just feel like I know more about who I am and who I have to be.
So, put on a dress, girl.
We're going dancing.
[Both laugh.]
Um, I don't really feel like going dancing tonight.
Wait.
Portia, are you still mad at me? - Mm.
- Okay.
What I did was terrible, okay? It was inexcusable, but For Forgive me? I mean, right? Forgive me.
Elliott my dad died of cancer.
And I don't get to have a dad.
And he really loved me, Like, a real crazy way, and now I He doesn't get to see me on TV.
And no one's ever gonna love me the way that he did in my whole life or ever really care that I ever did anything special.
Because of cancer.
Portia, I am so sorry.
I mean, you never you never talk about that.
You never asked.
And now what if I told you that my dad is totally fine, that he is a boring ophthalmologist that lives in Park Slope, and I was only telling you that story so that you would think I was, like, really cool and empathize with my struggle? Wait.
Is that true? What What? You tell me.
[Elevator bell dings.]
Hello.
Is Lorraine De Coss in today? Lorraine? What for? I just have some questions I'd like to ask her.
[Laughter.]
She must have got this made at FedEx Kinkos.
Take my picture.
I want a picture with it.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, this is perfect.
- Mm! Aww! [Laughter.]
She's a mess.
So So you guys, you You all knew Lorraine? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
She was just a temp.
She was crazy.
[Laughter.]
There is no such thing as a "head Realtor.
" - [Laughs.]
- What is that? One time, I caught her washing her underwear - in the bathroom sink.
- Oh, my God! Then maybe you could help me make make sense of this.
Um Now, what is this? It's a It's a check from your company to Bellow & Hare.
Oh, okay.
This must be one of our tenants.
Right, but if that's so, why would you guys be sending a check for $7,000 to them? Shouldn't it be the other way around? I'm sorry.
Who the hell are you? - So sorry to interrupt.
- Amy.
I'm supposed to meet some friends for dinner.
Do you need anything before I take off? Yes, Amy, come see this.
You're not gonna believe it.
Lorraine.
Look at that.
- [Laughing.]
- "Head Realtor.
" "Head Realtor.
" [Laughter.]
That is so sad.
I know.
I know! She went to FedEx Kinkos.
Can you imagine her in there? - No, I mean - [Laughter.]
You don't know? What? She got hit by a train.
What? Lorraine got pushed in front of a train? Or she tripped and fell.
I don't know.
I bet it was suicide.
She seemed like a suicide person.
[Woman:.]
Or somebody pushed her.
I mean, some days, I wanted to push her.
[Laughter.]
- [Laughing.]
- Amy, you can go.
- Get out of here.
- Bye, girl.
Watch out for those trains! [Laughter continues.]
Step away from the platform.
I'm putting this on Instagram.
- Right now, do it.
- Okay.
Who's your missing friend? Chantal Witherbottom? [Echoing.]
I saw her, too.
She was always there for me.
Chantal is in danger.
They broke in to my building.
No, they know too much.
[Keith:.]
You do enough P.
I.
work, you realize there's no such thing as coincidence.
Oh, hey, kid.
I've been calling you all day.
I thought you were ghosting me.
Lorraine is dead.
[Lock clicks.]
Holy cow.
[Sighs.]
What do we do? Well That's the reason I was calling you.
Found us some new leads.