Search Party (2016) s02e10 Episode Script


1 - Hey.
- Hi.
You're late.
Yeah, sorry.
The trains were late, and there was a family blocking the sidewalks.
- Okay, Dory, what's the plan? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah, Dory, how are we going to get thousands and thousands of dollars to April by tonight? Right.
So what if we blackmail April? Well, how? Right, well, I haven't exactly figured out that "how we blackmail her" part, but I just know that she's done something terrible.
I mean, her lifestyle alone is, like, psychotic.
And, you know, so, I thought, when I said blackmail, just kind of bring it up, and then we'd start coming up with ideas, you know? Okay, what kind of information could we possibly get on April that would be worse than murder? Well, I don't think we should be shutting down ideas so quickly and judging them too harshly.
You know, I think we need to feel open to just kind of, like, brainstorming freely.
You know what I mean? I'm so sorry I didn't create a safe space for you.
Is that your only idea? No, I have another one, too.
The other one is, um, the other is is is is, yeah, like, accumulating just accumulating, um, money.
Dory, you need to be realistic.
We have 16 hours to get $100,000 to an insane person, or we're all going to jail.
Babe, I'm sorry, but you're acting delusional.
I lay awake at night thinking about how our lives are going to be taken away from us because Dory wanted to feel special.
It's so selfish, and it's so pathetic.
Well, I I just feel like we're all in this a little too deep to, you know, we we still have to figure this out together.
There is no "we.
" We're not, like, a team for life, Dory.
I can't.
I can't.
Wait, where are you going? I think we should all just sort out our own affairs in the event that this is the end.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'm going to go, too.
I'm just going to pretend like none of this is happening.
You know I'll figure something out, though.
Right? Um, will you be paying for all your friends? Yes.
Obedear, the sky is low Watch fluent seamen rig their rudders [APPLAUSE] Thanks.
Stop, it's - Thanks.
- Hey! Oh, sorry.
Hey, I'm really glad you're okay, Joy.
- You got lucky.
- Yeah, yeah, that was scary.
Hey, so listen.
That girl you called in is here, but, just so you know, she's sobbing like crazy.
[SOBBING] - Okay.
- Yeah.
She's back there.
[SOBBING] I'm so sorry for lying.
It's just It's just it's embarrassing that nobody was after me, like, no one nobody even wants me.
So, um, if you weren't running from anyone, - what were you doing? - I was just resting.
I was really burnt out.
It's just what my heart needed to heal.
I need to ask you a very, very important question, okay? Mm-hmm.
Were your four friends, Dory Sief, Drew Gardner Ugh, Drew! Elliott Goss and Portia Davenport with you on the night of May 26th, or was that part made up, too? No, they were there.
- They were there? - Mm-hmm.
That is good.
That's good.
[SIGHS SHAKILY] That is great news.
So I'm not in trouble for lying? Oh, my God.
No! Absolutely not.
I mean, as long as your friends were with you that night in New Hampshire, that's all I care about.
Well, as long as I'm being completely honest - Yeah.
- um I wasn't in a dirty old motel in New Hampshire.
I was in a mansion in Canada.
In Montreal? Yeah.
God damn it, Chantal! What is wrong with you? I'm sorry.
They told me to lie! And everybody believed it, and then my parents felt bad for me, so they gave me all of the reward money, and if they find out that I was lying, they're going to want to ask for it back, and it's almost gone.
I rented a sailboat.
I'm so stupid.
- Calm down, Gardner.
It's just coffee.
Are you pissed you didn't get the Shanghai job? - I didn't? - No, man.
Alan got it.
It's his last day.
Did you sign the box? Everybody has to sign the box of cupcakes.
This company is a family.
Yeah, sure is.
- Dory, Dory! - Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- God, Julian, what are you doing here? Dory, I need to talk to you.
Um, I'm freaking out, and it's kind of, like, a moral crisis, and are you about to go back to the office? I actually was going to skip it.
I don't really have time to add something else to my day.
Can I just, um, can I can I show you something, please? - Sure.
- Come here.
Look at that.
What? What what is this? - That's Mary.
- Oh.
She sent those to me.
She's trying to seduce me.
Well, I mean, are are you going to report her? I don't know! God, I hate feeling powerless! She's doing this weird racial shit, and if I speak up against it, then I probably won't have a job for the rest of my life because you know how that shit works out.
Well, you you're just going to let it keep happening to you? Dory, I don't know what to do.
Do you think you can make money off of something like this? Dory, I I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I know the guy who found the "Grab them by the pussy" tape is rich now, but he gets death threats every day of his life.
- Wow.
- Jesus.
I am so confused.
- Look, just - Yeah.
Um, I'll just let you go, I guess.
I don't really have many people or friends I can trust, so, you know, thank you for hearing me out.
Wait, Julian, Julian, wait up! Wait up! I I I'm going to I'm going to go to the office with you.
- I thought you said you had something - No, I I can do that stuff later.
Come on.
You need me.
Let's go.
This is kind of my desk now.
- Could you move? - Would you mind switching? Because I'm just kind of in the flow here, and I just don't want to break.
Um, yeah, okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Did you hear that Nassau County is looking pretty good for us? I'm sorry.
I just need to try to focus on peeing.
All right? - Hey! - Hey.
- Dory, right? - Yeah.
I've I've been meaning to introduce myself.
I I work next to your buddy, Julian.
Right, yeah, I I was actually just wondering where he is.
Hey, I love all your ink.
[FLUSHING] Where did you get them done? I I was born with them, actually.
[LAUGHS] Damn, you're quick.
[CHUCKLES] I I think it's awesome when women joke around.
- What kind of food do you like? - I like all kinds of food.
I hope you're not afraid to eat pasta.
A lot of girls can't handle Italian.
- Oh, shit! A mouse! - What? - A mouse! - What? Where? - A mouse! Look! Right there! - Where? - Oh, God! - I'll go get somebody.
God damn it! This place is a piece of shit.
- I hate it here.
- Is everything okay? For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Oh, you guys! - You earned it, buddy! This is the nicest.
Oh, they're words! - "I had sex" - [LAUGHTER] "with your wife.
" It says that? You sick bitch! [GRUNTING] You son of a bitch! We're supposed to be family! - No! - [SCREAMS] - Hi.
- Hi.
So, um, I have been thinking about this play that you've created.
- We've created.
- Right, we've created.
And the this play, um, truly means so much to me, so I can't believe God, I can't believe that I'm going to say what I'm going to say.
I I think I need to I need to leave the play.
No, you you're not going to leave the play.
I, um just have a lot of things going on in my life right now that are really big, and I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I I really wish I could tell you.
I I just can't because you wouldn't understand.
Portia, I understand everything about you.
No, but this is, um, this is, like, very, very, very personal and very, like, dangerous.
If you're in trouble, I I want to help you.
I'm so scared you're not going to look at me the same way that you look at me.
I'm so scared that you're going to think I'm bad.
I would die before I'd betray you.
We can't do that.
Oh, I must have misread the No, no, no.
It's not like that.
I'm going to make love to you.
- Okay.
- But I'm not going to kiss you.
Why? It's too much, and that's the rule.
- Okay.
- Okay? - I'm confused.
- Okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
Whatever you want, I don't care.
Oh, my God.
Did you see what my mom just texted us "300 actresses who should have better voiceover careers.
" - Like, what? - I'm just going to try to one-up her.
- And there it is, right there.
- Yup.
I know 15 of these women, and they're each a national treasure.
What? I hate her.
Honestly, I think about our group mom thread all day long.
- May I cut in? - No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Elliott, no.
Not this time.
- Okay, just don't.
I'm with Luke now, and I'm really happy.
We're so happy.
Well, I'm sorry, but that's just not the way it's going to be.
- I'm sorry.
- Marc, Marc, we are meant to be together.
You are smart and chosen and so insanely special, and I celebrate your soul, okay? And I want us to be in love forever, even if, like, one of us, like, goes to jail or something.
Like, if you went to jail, like, I would totally just still want to be with you.
I don't know what I'm saying, but you get it, right? - I think I think so.
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES] Elliott, what are you doing? Marcus Jaybird Doober, will you marry me? I Of course! [LAUGHS] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He said yes! - Yes! - He said yes! Luke, he said yes! Oh, he did? He did? Could I actually get the the the cut? Thank you.
[LAUGHS] Someone should get a picture of this.
What? - It's incredible, and - Is this really happening? [PHONE RINGING] - It's It's early.
- Uh-huh.
- But - Yeah.
- you have Kings County.
- Okay.
- You have Queens County.
- Oh, my God.
You have Dutchess County.
You've got the Royal Court, Mary! So what does this mean? What does this mean? Unless something really crazy happens Yeah.
you're going to win.
We're going to DC, baby! [ALL SCREAMING] Ugh.
Staten Island Ferry? WOMAN: I'm sorry, what? Oh, no nothing.
Sor S-Sorry.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] You wanted to see me, sir? [INHALES DEEPLY] Drew do you want the Shanghai job? Oh, I mean, y yes, sir, very much so.
I mean, as I've previously stated, I would very much appreciate taking this position, assuming, of course, if Alan is is no longer going.
And do you want it so badly that you told Alan that I had a big fat dick, and then you planted Magnum condoms in Alan's wife's purse, and then you wrote, "I had sex with your wife" on Alan's cupcakes? Huh? No, sir, I don't I don't I don't think I did that.
You're fired, Drew.
So, if you witnessed a peaceful transaction, what in your mind made Mr.
Medici want to shoot you? Right.
Medici had a very predatory essence, and when he heard me coming down the stairs, he said, "Who's there?" in a in a very, very male tone.
- You know what I mean.
- Mm.
And, before I knew it, we were in a confrontation, and so I said, "Sir, I just want to know what you know about Keith Powell.
" And he said, "What I know about Keith Powell is that he's dead, and I killed him.
" And, um then he shot me.
And I wish I didn't have to shoot him but I did.
I'm happy you're okay, - and I'm happy you did your job right.
- Thank you.
One less crook on the streets where our children play.
Sign here to sanction your statement.
Just Puh! sweating.
[CLEARS THROAT] [EXHALES DEEPLY] - Everything all right? - Oh, I just, um, I f I f I forgot my signature for a second.
[LAUGHS] There we go.
That's great.
So I guess you have the money.
I do, yes, in a in a way.
What does that mean? Okay, do you do you know who Mary Ferguson is? No, should I? Well, she's about to be a senator, okay? And she's involved in a sex scandal, and I have proof.
So? So a lot of people would pay more than what you're asking for to have it.
Let me see.
There you go.
And And you just scroll up.
She looks good.
So, what? I take this phone.
I sell it to the Post and ruin this woman's life? You are seriously messed up, Dory.
You wanted the money, okay? This is how you're going to get the money.
- Whose phone is this? - It's my ex ex-boyfriend's.
All right? Can I just have the tape, please? So, to get away with murder, you're going to destroy two more lives? I'm just in a horrible mess, okay? And you're making everything so much worse.
All I'm trying to do is protect my friends.
[LAUGHS] And you think the world needs your friends? Your friends are pointless, entitled, empty idiots.
They're nothing, Dory.
They do nothing.
You don't know them.
No, I do know them.
They're the people that were born with everything that I wanted, but couldn't have.
Like, when I was 5, I would've loved a bed.
Can you understand that? You deserve every moment of your suffering.
Why can't you just take your money and be happy and just leave us alone? I can, and I will.
I'll take my money, and I'll be happy.
But I will always know who you are and what you did, and I will never leave you guys alone, ever.
I promise you that.
I'm going to rent a room in every building you live in.
I'm going to sit behind you in whatever bullshit movie you watch.
I'm going to marry someone in your family, no matter how disgusting they are.
If your conscience doesn't haunt you, I will forever.
[BREATHING] Aaaah! [MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Welcome to the party! Hey, Dory, the future is ours! Have fun! Dory, Dory, she took my phone, okay? She took my freaking phone.
I'm going to confront her.
I don't have to put up with this.
That's That's terrible.
MARY: Hello.
Hello, everyone.
[LAUGHS] Can we take the music down? Um, I would just like to take a moment to give credit to my brave and tireless staff.
So I would like to invite them all to come right up here on stage.
Come on, now.
Don't by shy.
Pamela, get on up here.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Come on, Julian, Greg, Renee, Dory, get on up here! Give these kids a round of sound! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] You are my warriors, and I would not be here without you.
Tonight is your night just as much as it is mine.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] Let me tell you all what I love about working with young people.
They have values that somehow my generation didn't have time to cultivate.
Greg, what was that word you taught me? - "Woke.
" - Woke.
How great is that word? Where was that word when I was young? Um, I'm sorry, what's going on? Is there a problem? Um, they're here for Dory.
[CROWD MURMURING] Are you Dory Sief? Yes.
Come with us, please.
You're under arrest for the murder of Keith Powell.
Wait, what what what's going what's going on? This has to be a mistake.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
If you don't have an attorney, one will be appointed for you while you are questioned if you wish.
I barely knew her.
[CHUCKLES] [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING] Let this be the epitaph of my heart Cupid put too much poison in the dart This is the epitaph of my heart Because it's gone, gone, gone Life goes on and on and on OFFICER: She's pretty.
How'd you get her? OFFICER #2: Anonymous tip.
And death goes on, world without end And you're not my friend