Search Party (2016) s04e01 Episode Script

1 [UNSETTLING MUSIC.]
[SINGING ALONG.]
Groove is in the heart Groove is in the heart Groove [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Hi, sweetie.
Can I ask you a question? There used to be this candy bar that had a big hole in it.
It was like long and thin but thick enough for there to be a stable hole in it.
Do you know what I'm talking about? Shoot.
I have been on the hunt for it for years.
Mm.
[WHIMPERS, PANTING.]
[GASPING.]
[YELLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, but dear The sky is low, watch Fluent sea men Rig their rudders so they'll Little extra security for the girl who can get out of her suitcase.
Are you the the twink? From the wedding? [CHUCKLES.]
Mm.
Yes, I suppose I am.
But you can call me Chip.
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
Wow.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't believe it.
You're right here with me.
[CRYING.]
I'm sorry, but it's emotional.
What is? You did it! You beat those bastards! You showed them you're innocent! You're no idiot.
You're no whore.
And now? [SIGHS.]
Now we can just breathe.
[EXHALES.]
What do you mean? Dory Don't you see? [LAUGHS.]
We're best friends! We have so much in common! The first time I saw you on the TV, I was like "Whoa.
Okay.
What is it about that girl?" And then I realized We have the same lips.
Isn't that spooky? If it's spooky, say it's spooky! - It's spooky! - I know, right? Oh, I know.
I know, it's it's a lot.
You're just catching up to this.
It took me a second too.
But all you need to see Is that you and me we're the victims.
People want to burn us to the ground because they think we're sick.
But guess what? We're bigger than that talk! And you proved it! I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud of you.
I'm proud of us! Mm.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
Is is my head shaved? Oh.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[DORY SOBS.]
I I I needed your hair to make my Dory doll's hair more authentic.
I was cutting it, and then it was uneven.
I got carried away, and I just messed up.
But you look surprisingly great! I think we should keep this look for you.
- [CRYING.]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
[INHALES.]
I know.
You have been through so much.
And imagine if they had found you guilty.
You would be in jail right now.
But you told the truth, and the truth set you free.
And now you're here, and you're safe.
With me.
What do you want from me? Friendship.
- [BOTTLES CLINK.]
- Hi, Innocent Dor Dor! Oh, my gosh! We're so excited for tonight.
Ell and I just got drinkies.
Please return my texts.
I don't know why you're not texting me back.
Um, the thing is, we need to know if you have enough little plastic cups because we didn't get any, and I don't think we're gonna pass any little plastic cup stores on the way, so just let me know.
Yay, Happy You're Not Guilty Party! Love you! Honestly, why isn't it easier to find decorations that celebrate being acquitted? - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
Do people not do this? Like, is this tacky? Or do you think it'd be tackier if we didn't do this? Like, throw a party.
You know what? I'm sick of caring what people think about me.
Like, if we want to commemorate our immunity as privileged and manipulative capitalists, then we should be able to party however we want to.
- Yes! Absolutely.
- Sorry.
I just want to dance! Are you gonna keep me here? Forever? No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
No, of course, you get to go home.
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
I just need you to do one thing for me first.
Okay? What is that? I need you just read to read that into the camera, okay? O-okay.
Um Whenever, uh, you're ready.
"So you wanna know the truth? Well, this is the truth.
" Stop! Stop.
I can tell you're faking it.
I need you to feel it.
Okay? Because I know you do.
And if I do a good job, I get to go home? Yes.
[WHISPERS.]
Okay.
[EXHALES.]
"So you wanna know the truth?" "Well, this is the truth.
" "Chip is my best friend.
" "Together, we can do just about anything.
" "And if you can't handle that Then get a life.
" Anything else? That's it.
[LAUGHS.]
Could I have a glass of water, please? Oh, yes, yes.
Hmm.
[EXHALES.]
So I get to go home now? Yeah.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
[WHIMPERS SOFTLY.]
[GROANS.]
I just don't understand why you're upset.
I mean, aren't you happy they found her innocent? Yes, I don't want any of my friends to go to prison for murder.
You know what I mean? Like, I'm not that kind of person.
- Me neither.
- But I'm just saying, as an actor, I know what it's like to have the audience in the palm of your hand, and I just feel like, you know, at the end, she basically had that courtroom, like, giving her a standing ovation.
It was like Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
Wait a second.
What are you saying? Are you saying you're jealous - of Dory's closing statement? - No! I am just saying, I think it's selfish of her, considering I'm the actor of the friend group.
Okay, so what was she supposed to do? Let you make her closing statement? I'm not saying that, Elliott, but if I were, I don't think there'd be anything wrong with that.
Portia, Dory's crazy, okay? She wasn't "acting" up there, she was lying.
God! Why can't I have a little crazy? I wanna be crazy! [DOOR BUZZER RINGING.]
[RINGING FADES.]
[GROANS.]
[EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC.]
[GROANS.]
[SIGHS.]
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[YELLS.]
Hello? Hello? [SOBBING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
What is this? What is my life now? [SCREAMS.]
[BELL DINGS.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
[LOCK CLICKING.]
[DOOR CREAKS, LOCK CLICKS.]
- [LATCH OPENS.]
- Breaded chicken niblets, air-fried in peanut oil, with mashed potatoes crowned in white gravy, just for you.
I saw you order that once when I used to follow you around all the time, and you just ate it up.
But anyway, relax, enjoy, rest.
Okay? You have a lot to think about.
W-w-wait, wait! Wait! Uh You said that I could go home.
This is your home, Dory.
This is a better version of your life.
Okay? Because in here, you can thrive, and you can grow, okay? And in here, there's no chance of you being tempted to go back to those awful, awful people.
- What people? - Drew! Portia! Elliott! Dory, you've been associating with unwell people.
Losers.
Idiots.
Okay? They're mentally ill.
Well you could just let me leave.
You know? I-I-I don't have to go back to them.
[LAUGHS.]
I I'll go wherever you want me to go! Dory! No! You don't get it.
Let me try to explain something to you.
I have a PhD in psychology from a top-tier school.
It's not Ivy, but it might as well be.
And you have formed what we call a maladaptive codependency with these people.
You have enabled them for far too long, okay? They don't respect you! They mock you! They testify against you! Hello! Friends? What kind of friends are that? So you see, I just can't take a chance on you repeating the pattern of going back to the people who hurt you the most, time and time again.
You understand? Please.
Please.
Please, just just let me go.
Mm.
This is a better version of your home.
Better version of your life.
And I'm a better version of your friends.
I'm your best friend.
[EXHALES.]
You said it yourself.
And I have it on tape.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait! [SOBBING.]
Wait, please, please! Please let me go, please! [BEEPING.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[METALLIC RATTLING.]
[METAL GROANING.]
It wasn't so bad after all, right? - Best meal we've had here.
- Pretty good.
Right.
Brazilian's not bad.
- You know what? - Empanada! Come on! You're supposed to be in a cheery mood.
Can you please put your phone away? I'll be cheery when I get on the damn plane.
- Drew, put your phone away.
- Hi.
- Drew! - Yeah, well, Portia, I know that you've been texting me, okay, and I'm sorry, but it's just I really, really, really don't want to see Dory right now, so please, do not make me come down there.
I totally get it, but the thing is, she's not returning any of our texts and calls, okay? And all these, like, people are showing up, and it's, like, total chaos, and everybody's freaking out.
And we have no way to get into the apartment both: Happy Not Guilty to you all: Happy Not Guilty to you! Uh, yeah, okay, can't you just wait in a bodega or something, Portia? No, Drewbie, please! Get off the phone! Get off the phone! - Okay, yeah, I'll be there.
Fine.
I'll be there.
All: To you - [LAUGHS.]
Hey! - Don't you love it? He hates it.
[BEEPING.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[METALLIC RATTLING.]
[METAL GROANING.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
[METALLIC CLANG.]
Oh, just gonna take the plate from you.
Ow! [DORY GRUNTING.]
Ah! Stop! Stop it! Ah! [SCREAMS.]
Make it stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
- [CHIP GRUNTS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTING.]
- Ow! - I'm out of here! Ow! Why? [CHIP GROANING.]
[GROWLING.]
Ow! Ha! You're gonna need more than your body weight to get past the door.
Home Sweet Home had a little sale on steel doors, so, uh you're gonna need the code.
What's the code? - What's the code? - Okay! [LAUGHS.]
Okay, fine! It's seven [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
nine [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
three [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
three [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
Are you kidding me you-are-down-here for-your-safety.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [YELLS.]
[PANTING.]
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[SOBS.]
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
Excuse me.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Drewbie! - Hi! Oh Oh, my God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much.
We've gotten so cold.
This is more than a few friends and their partners.
Well, invites get really complicated when you're trying to, you know, include everyone.
Can someone help me? [LOCK CLICKING.]
Drewbie, Drewbie, I can't feel my hands.
I can't feel my hands! I can't feel my hands! Okay! All right, guys, um, have a nice time.
Just take out the trash when you're done.
I'm gonna go to my parents' hotel.
Drewbie, come on! Seriously! This party's, like, for you and Dory! If she doesn't show up, who is it even for? Uh, Drew? There's a letter for you.
It's from Dory.
- What? - From Dory.
- Wait, what? - Please read it.
She had time to write a letter, and she won't even, like, return any of my phone calls? "Dear Drew, there's no easy way to say this, "so I'm just going to rip off the Band-Aid "and make it as painless as possible for both of us.
I'm breaking up with you.
" I'm breaking up with you! She's breaking up with me? I'm sorry.
She's acting like she thinks that I think - that we're together.
- That's crazy.
Does she think that I think that we're together? - Because I do not! - Absolutely insane.
This is bullshit! I did not say why would I Please keep reading the letter, though, 'cause I wanna "I need to take some time for myself.
" [SCOFFS.]
"I have done everything you and the gang have asked of me and more.
" Okay, "the gang"? She's gone full boomer.
I'm sorry, there's no bottle opener in this house, - and I paid $35 for this party.
- What is going on? "Now it's time for me to finally put my own needs first.
" - "Finally.
" - "I'm taking a trip to Europe to start fresh.
" - [SCOFFS.]
- "Please don't reach out.
" "I don't know when I will be returning, if ever.
Please do whatever you deem necessary with my items.
" So I'm supposed to take care of all of her shit! Oh, my God.
"I need to focus on me "and my favorite foods and my future.
"Please tell the gang if they want to try and reach out, - "I will not respond.
" - Uh! "I am finally creating a space for people "and relationships who really love and care for me "the way I need to be loved and cared for.
No longer yours, Dory.
" - This is bullshit.
- That is bullshit! - This is bullshit! - I'm so mad! Yeah! Let's trash this place! [CHEERING.]
[DISHES SHATTERING.]
Oh, God.
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[KEYPAD BEEPS.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[KEYPAD BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
A part of me just wants to tell her that I fucked a juror.
You can't break up with me when we're not together! At this point, it's just, like, you have to understand she's just too far gone.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean? Do you know what I mean, though? - Yes, Portia.
- Because it's, like, she's just walking around the world just going [CLICKS TONGUE.]
"I'm Dory! Like, I got away with murder.
"Hey, look at me.
I can get away with everything in the world now.
" Here's my thing.
Some people just can't handle fame.
Okay, Chip.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
I give up.
I'm tired, and I want to sleep, so you win.
Oh, Dory.
It's not like that.
Okay? We are on the same team.
When I win, you win.
Okay, I'm gonna open the door now.
I'm so sorry.
I was just really scared.
Can I just have a hug? [TENSE MUSIC BUILDING.]
- [DORY GRUNTS.]
- Oh.
Oh! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Come on.
Come on! [CHIP GRUNTING.]
[CHOKING.]
Tell me the code, or I will jam this pen in your throat, and you will bleed out and die, and I swear to God, I'm not afraid to do it.
Tell me the code! No.
Okay! I'm gonna kill you, then.
Well, that's just not a very good plan.
If you kill me, then you'll just be stuck down here with my dead body.
Then you'll starve to death and die too.
Yeah, try you can't get out of here without me.
Put in the code, Chip.
Or I will shove this pen so deep down your throat that you will bleed out all over the floor, and it'll be excruciatingly painful.
Put in the code! Come on! Chip [CHIP EXHALES.]
I am a survivor.
I will get out of this place.
Whether it's now or later.
Because as it turns out I'm not afraid to hurt people to get what I want.
I think you're just being a little hard on yourself.
You have three seconds! Three Two! One! It really is just not thought out, Dory.
[SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aw.
[PANTING.]
My pen.
I feel so taken advantage of.
Do you know what I mean? - Yes.
- Course I know what you mean.
- Look at me.
- It's like, "Thanks.
" I just, like I just threw, like, a congratulations on you "you're not guilty for murder" party for someone that I do specifically know is guilty.
I just wish that things were, like, simple and straightforward.
It's like, how did all this chaos happen? I don't know.
I fucking know don't.
I mean, I used to be a good boy, like - I ate all my vegetables - You're a good boy.
And, like, I shared them like crazy! It's, like Why can't I be happy? I just, like, wanna go to a happy place.
You know, reading that Dory letter from before when we were over there? Yeah.
Yes.
I was like, "I have to look within.
" And I was like, like, "I don't want to be that.
" - Yeah.
- I don't wanna hide - from America.
- Yes.
And if I'm gonna do this Charlie Reenie show, I wanna do it right, you know what I mean? - Yes.
- I wanna have real conversations that heal this country, that heal this sick nation.
You know what I mean? And you guys have to - hold me accountable for that.
- Yes.
We will.
You guys have to hold me accountable.
- Hold me accountable.
- We're friends, you idiot.
Hold me accountable.
You promise to hold me accountable? You know what I'm gonna do right now? - What? - Mm? Instead of talking shit about Dory - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna call her right now.
- Yes! - [GIGGLES.]
Oh, my God.
- Yes! Yes! - And I'm gonna tell her I'm gonna tell her exactly how I feel about her.
Fuck yes, Elliot.
Fuck yes, fuck yes.
- Shh.
- This is such a good idea.
[WHISPERING.]
She's a bitch.
She's a bitch.
She's a bitch.
Hi, this is Dory.
Uh, sorry I couldn't get to the phone.
Uh, leave a message.
Thanks.
Oh, hi, Dory, yeah.
It's Elliott.
I just want to tell you that I'm really unhappy with you right now.
The way that you're treating your friends, nay, "the gang" Is unacceptable.
Quite frankly, you're an asshole, and I've never been treated so poorly in my life by someone that I used to consider one of my best friends.
- Goodbye.
- Dory! It's Portia.
I'm so mad at you! You you ruined my life! You are mean! You are a bad friend! And you should feel bad because you're the ugly friend! And I'm the pretty friend, and Dory, it's Drew.
Honestly, it is so fucked up the way that you treated me and everyone else.
It's, like, I'm sorry if this is too much for you to hear right now, but I am so angry at you! Allow me Dory, you're a mean, bad monster! And a loser! You're a poster child for failing upwards! I hope that horrible, mean things happen to you, and honestly, that is how I feel.
Tell her, Drew! You tell her how we all feel! Dory Sief you deserve terrible, horrible things.
To destroy you I think that's a good note to end on.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Allow me To enjoy you, my love Allow me Allow me Allow me Allow me Allow me Allow me [COUGHS.]