Secret Diary of a Call Girl s04e06 Episode Script
Episode 6
I suppose sometimes you have to go far away.
Just so you can come back home.
If I know you were cheating me I would have saved myself and set you free If I learned you were When life knocks you down .
.
the secret is to get straight back in the ring.
Poppy, what are you doing? Um I had a nightmare about my mom in prison.
You can't just come in here like this.
Please go back to bed.
Sorry.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl Season 4, Episode 6 If there's one thing I've learned from satisfying the escapist fantasies of men, it's that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is not to deal with it.
Mmmm.
I'm suffering from jet lag you know.
Kat, hi.
The doctor's for three.
Says his thermometer is ready.
Bring some lube.
Amber.
Pack your bags.
Mr Walsh is taking you to Milan.
Ciao.
It's Italian, hon.
Yeah, Google some phrases.
Heather, hi.
Do you do Kate Bush? No, no, love, I think that's Kate Moss.
I can assure you we pride ourselves on treating our customers with the utmo Strangle you with a dog chain? That doesn't Who was it you spoke to? Charlotte.
This is the third message.
Can you call me back? As soon as.
Thanks.
Discreet Elite.
'Hello.
I've been on your website and I'm only in town for one night.
' OK.
Was there anyone you had in mind to keep you company, Mr? 'Watanabe.
' Mr What-and-be? Can I call you back in one minute on this number? 'OK.
' Thanks ever so much.
Bye.
Charlotte.
What was the purpose of your call? Did you assume control of the agency whilst I was away? I never assume control of anything.
I just take it.
Right, OK.
Well, I've come back to You've come back to a well-oiled machine and you're welcome, by the way.
OK, look, I'm sorry.
I've got a very upset and, frankly, rather frightening client who you've offered your own distinctive brand of services.
Fear is a necessary impulse.
It keeps animals alive in the wild.
Can you just brief me on what's been going on whilst I've been away? Maybe we should meet up face to fa Face.
That's weird.
Hi.
I don't have time for this.
My client will be here in a Ah.
Now This is David.
I believe you know each other.
Hi.
Hi, Belle.
Going in for something slightly harder these days, are you? Excuse me.
It was you that first opened my eyes to new possibilities.
It was just You don't have to explain.
I mean, it's not like we're It's not like you've betrayed me or anything.
I've been really busy lately.
I'm actually running the agency at the moment.
In a manner of speaking.
And I've just got back from New York, which was fabulous.
Yeah.
I was there talking about a big movie.
Yeah, a big hit Hollywood movie.
So I've been busy.
Wow! Really? Mmm.
I'm really pleased for you.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
We should be In you go.
Mr Watanabe.
'Hi.
' We talked earlier about a possible booking for this afternoon.
'Ah, yes.
' Well, I've got just the girl for you.
She's been away, but she's back.
And believe me, she's our very best.
Is this your first time in London? No.
I'm here a lot on business.
I enjoy it though.
Fine dining, wonderful culture beautiful sights.
You speak Japanese? Well, I've been to Tokyo.
I work for Japanese whisky.
Want to try? Yeah, sure.
Take ice? No, no.
I take it straight up.
Ooh! Mmm.
This is nice.
This is Thank you very much.
It's so relaxing.
Relaxing? We can do better than relaxing, can't we? Come on.
Listen.
Tell me what it is that secretly gets you going.
Something that just makes your body just, like explode with pleasure? Er I don't know.
This is all it has ever been, really.
Just really good.
OK.
Well, really, really good isn't good enough.
Sir, you've come to the right place.
We're gonna find out exactly what it is that gets you going.
But I Shh B-b-b Just let me think.
Toys? No? Er No? Don't worry.
That's OK.
What about dressing up? Or roleplay? I could be some hard-arsed business bitch and you're here to hostile takeover.
OK.
We can try.
No, no, no trying.
I know.
What about the bathroom? Yes! It's the perfect place to lock naughty, dirty people away.
Are you all right? That's OK.
You're not bruised, are you? Or swollen? I think someone might be into a bit of wrestling? I used to love watching female championship wrestling as a boy.
OK.
Well, get ready for round one.
Woo Hoo Yeah! Sorry.
Wow.
That was a The bruises I will have tomorrow.
Are you gonna get caught? There is no-one to catch me out.
No girlfriend, no wife.
You don't sound too bothered about that.
Well, no.
Like you, I think, my passion is my work.
If I'm not the best at what I do, then I'm not anything really.
Charlotte, are you in town? I'd like you to bring your commission in to me this evening.
We have some business pending.
What can I get you ladies? Singapore sling, pineapple juice and a drop of Benedictine.
And for you? Vodka.
Vodka? Just vodka? Not even an ice and a slice? Fine.
So I assume you're feeling wounded by his disloyalty.
What? Your client, David.
It's never happened to me, of course, losing a client.
But I hear it is awful.
David knows I'm the best call girl in this town.
What was that? A laugh.
You need to work on that.
So, why, then, if you're exactly what David needs, did he book me and not you? Because I've been busy.
But now I'm back.
Now that I am back, he'll want me back.
Maybe you're not quite as good as you think you are.
Maybe you're just threatened by me, Charlotte? It's you who are threatened, by me.
Because you know I'm the best.
Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? We'd lift this area .
.
here.
I am so sorry, Mrs Long, I will just switch that Will you excuse me one minute? Hello.
Hi.
Um I'm sorry that things were awkward earlier.
No.
I am so sorry.
It's just No, you don't have to explain.
I wondered if I could make it up to you? Maybe I'll see you later? Later? I missed you.
Lift this, this, and the job's a good 'un.
OK, Mrs Long, I'll see you Friday.
Belle.
Hi.
Hi.
I think it's time we moved it to the next level.
Keep young and beautiful It's your duty to be beautiful Oh, Belle.
That's so nice.
Ow.
Charlotte.
That's it.
OK.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Belle.
Oh, my god.
What's wrong? What is it? Oh, god.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
David, sit! No, no, no, please I just think, you know, it's fine.
You two just get on with it.
Oh, well, I'm off.
No, we've got to go and do something.
Why? Because he's a really good He's a good guy and we have to think of something.
Such as? Mmm.
I'm sorry about earlier.
This is exactly what I wanted.
You know you're the best.
Thank you.
Ow.
Well, I think he'll be back.
You have an impressive pelvic thrust.
Oh.
And firm breasts.
Some of those moves you were pulling in there you're not bad.
The truth is I had heard you were good.
Your reputation precedes you.
I suppose we should have just .
.
sorted this out in the beginning.
Instead of letting things drag on.
Speaking of which, there's a human rights lawyer shackled to my boiler.
I suppose I should go and release him.
Exactly.
Oh, you OK.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm sure, I mean I should probably get home, too.
Hi, Ben, I'm home.
Hello, my girlfriend.
Welcome back to England.
Oh, Ben, I've missed you so terribly.
I'm so glad to be back.
Really? Have you? That's odd.
Cos it actually looked like you got back this morning and instead of crawling into bed with me, you apparently went to shag some strangers instead.
Are you enjoying yourself? What the fuck's going on? Where the fuck have you been? Really, the moral high ground, Ben? I did come home this morning intending to crawl into bed with you, only, what do I find? What are you talking about? Who's this sleeping in my bed? Not fucking Goldilocks.
Christ, Hannah! Christ, Hannah, exactly.
Do you want me to explain? No! She got in without me knowing.
Fuck off.
It's amazing.
I mean Ben, if you're gonna lie to me at least do me the courtesy of making it a good one.
I am not fucking lying.
She literally got into my bed.
I woke up and told her to get out.
What's going on? Poppy, tell her.
Tell her what? Don't fuck around, Poppy.
Tell her.
I don't want to hear it.
You two can do whatever the fuck it is you like.
Poppy! What? I don't I just I'm sorry.
Ben didn't do anything.
I just I got in and I got out.
Poppy, you can't do that! I know.
I'm sorry.
I won't do it again.
This is my house! This is my life! You can't just Um I think maybe you should go back to your mum's.
And no more skeletons hiding in the closet.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Well, come on, you can see how I might have got the wrong idea.
Well, yeah, fine.
If you hadn't just pissed off, as always.
Not ignored what's going wrong here.
Ben, I'm just And do you know what? Actually, forgive me if I don't find this all slightly hypocritical, me lying in bed with someone else.
Given what you do every single day Ben, I know.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I'm sorry, I mean it.
I just I'm I was I was just fragile and I was angry and I just I just wanted to be Belle for a bit and not Hannah.
Oh, my god, when are you gonna get it? There is no Belle and there is no Hannah.
There's just you.
It's just you who won't stop fucking this up.
It's just you who doesn't know what you want.
And I am getting so sick and tired of waiting around to find out if it's gonna be me.
Oh, my god.
Keep my love as light as a feather I've got a client.
He likes roleplay, very specific.
Special delivery.
You're not angry? No.
Some people make you care whether you want to or not.
You can do anything you want.
What would you get up to in "the city that never sleeps?" This is your chance to win a weekend of a lifetime courtesy of Virgin Holidays + Hip Hotels, you and three friends can fly premium economy to New York and stay for three nights in a luxury Manhattan boutique hotel.
You'll be served cocktails in CV followed by dinner for four.
And if that isn't enough to tempt you, you'll also win ã2,000 so you can truly follow in Belle's footsteps and have the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees.
Just answer the following question.
You can also enter for free at itv.
com
Just so you can come back home.
If I know you were cheating me I would have saved myself and set you free If I learned you were When life knocks you down .
.
the secret is to get straight back in the ring.
Poppy, what are you doing? Um I had a nightmare about my mom in prison.
You can't just come in here like this.
Please go back to bed.
Sorry.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl Season 4, Episode 6 If there's one thing I've learned from satisfying the escapist fantasies of men, it's that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is not to deal with it.
Mmmm.
I'm suffering from jet lag you know.
Kat, hi.
The doctor's for three.
Says his thermometer is ready.
Bring some lube.
Amber.
Pack your bags.
Mr Walsh is taking you to Milan.
Ciao.
It's Italian, hon.
Yeah, Google some phrases.
Heather, hi.
Do you do Kate Bush? No, no, love, I think that's Kate Moss.
I can assure you we pride ourselves on treating our customers with the utmo Strangle you with a dog chain? That doesn't Who was it you spoke to? Charlotte.
This is the third message.
Can you call me back? As soon as.
Thanks.
Discreet Elite.
'Hello.
I've been on your website and I'm only in town for one night.
' OK.
Was there anyone you had in mind to keep you company, Mr? 'Watanabe.
' Mr What-and-be? Can I call you back in one minute on this number? 'OK.
' Thanks ever so much.
Bye.
Charlotte.
What was the purpose of your call? Did you assume control of the agency whilst I was away? I never assume control of anything.
I just take it.
Right, OK.
Well, I've come back to You've come back to a well-oiled machine and you're welcome, by the way.
OK, look, I'm sorry.
I've got a very upset and, frankly, rather frightening client who you've offered your own distinctive brand of services.
Fear is a necessary impulse.
It keeps animals alive in the wild.
Can you just brief me on what's been going on whilst I've been away? Maybe we should meet up face to fa Face.
That's weird.
Hi.
I don't have time for this.
My client will be here in a Ah.
Now This is David.
I believe you know each other.
Hi.
Hi, Belle.
Going in for something slightly harder these days, are you? Excuse me.
It was you that first opened my eyes to new possibilities.
It was just You don't have to explain.
I mean, it's not like we're It's not like you've betrayed me or anything.
I've been really busy lately.
I'm actually running the agency at the moment.
In a manner of speaking.
And I've just got back from New York, which was fabulous.
Yeah.
I was there talking about a big movie.
Yeah, a big hit Hollywood movie.
So I've been busy.
Wow! Really? Mmm.
I'm really pleased for you.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
We should be In you go.
Mr Watanabe.
'Hi.
' We talked earlier about a possible booking for this afternoon.
'Ah, yes.
' Well, I've got just the girl for you.
She's been away, but she's back.
And believe me, she's our very best.
Is this your first time in London? No.
I'm here a lot on business.
I enjoy it though.
Fine dining, wonderful culture beautiful sights.
You speak Japanese? Well, I've been to Tokyo.
I work for Japanese whisky.
Want to try? Yeah, sure.
Take ice? No, no.
I take it straight up.
Ooh! Mmm.
This is nice.
This is Thank you very much.
It's so relaxing.
Relaxing? We can do better than relaxing, can't we? Come on.
Listen.
Tell me what it is that secretly gets you going.
Something that just makes your body just, like explode with pleasure? Er I don't know.
This is all it has ever been, really.
Just really good.
OK.
Well, really, really good isn't good enough.
Sir, you've come to the right place.
We're gonna find out exactly what it is that gets you going.
But I Shh B-b-b Just let me think.
Toys? No? Er No? Don't worry.
That's OK.
What about dressing up? Or roleplay? I could be some hard-arsed business bitch and you're here to hostile takeover.
OK.
We can try.
No, no, no trying.
I know.
What about the bathroom? Yes! It's the perfect place to lock naughty, dirty people away.
Are you all right? That's OK.
You're not bruised, are you? Or swollen? I think someone might be into a bit of wrestling? I used to love watching female championship wrestling as a boy.
OK.
Well, get ready for round one.
Woo Hoo Yeah! Sorry.
Wow.
That was a The bruises I will have tomorrow.
Are you gonna get caught? There is no-one to catch me out.
No girlfriend, no wife.
You don't sound too bothered about that.
Well, no.
Like you, I think, my passion is my work.
If I'm not the best at what I do, then I'm not anything really.
Charlotte, are you in town? I'd like you to bring your commission in to me this evening.
We have some business pending.
What can I get you ladies? Singapore sling, pineapple juice and a drop of Benedictine.
And for you? Vodka.
Vodka? Just vodka? Not even an ice and a slice? Fine.
So I assume you're feeling wounded by his disloyalty.
What? Your client, David.
It's never happened to me, of course, losing a client.
But I hear it is awful.
David knows I'm the best call girl in this town.
What was that? A laugh.
You need to work on that.
So, why, then, if you're exactly what David needs, did he book me and not you? Because I've been busy.
But now I'm back.
Now that I am back, he'll want me back.
Maybe you're not quite as good as you think you are.
Maybe you're just threatened by me, Charlotte? It's you who are threatened, by me.
Because you know I'm the best.
Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? We'd lift this area .
.
here.
I am so sorry, Mrs Long, I will just switch that Will you excuse me one minute? Hello.
Hi.
Um I'm sorry that things were awkward earlier.
No.
I am so sorry.
It's just No, you don't have to explain.
I wondered if I could make it up to you? Maybe I'll see you later? Later? I missed you.
Lift this, this, and the job's a good 'un.
OK, Mrs Long, I'll see you Friday.
Belle.
Hi.
Hi.
I think it's time we moved it to the next level.
Keep young and beautiful It's your duty to be beautiful Oh, Belle.
That's so nice.
Ow.
Charlotte.
That's it.
OK.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Belle.
Oh, my god.
What's wrong? What is it? Oh, god.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
David, sit! No, no, no, please I just think, you know, it's fine.
You two just get on with it.
Oh, well, I'm off.
No, we've got to go and do something.
Why? Because he's a really good He's a good guy and we have to think of something.
Such as? Mmm.
I'm sorry about earlier.
This is exactly what I wanted.
You know you're the best.
Thank you.
Ow.
Well, I think he'll be back.
You have an impressive pelvic thrust.
Oh.
And firm breasts.
Some of those moves you were pulling in there you're not bad.
The truth is I had heard you were good.
Your reputation precedes you.
I suppose we should have just .
.
sorted this out in the beginning.
Instead of letting things drag on.
Speaking of which, there's a human rights lawyer shackled to my boiler.
I suppose I should go and release him.
Exactly.
Oh, you OK.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm sure, I mean I should probably get home, too.
Hi, Ben, I'm home.
Hello, my girlfriend.
Welcome back to England.
Oh, Ben, I've missed you so terribly.
I'm so glad to be back.
Really? Have you? That's odd.
Cos it actually looked like you got back this morning and instead of crawling into bed with me, you apparently went to shag some strangers instead.
Are you enjoying yourself? What the fuck's going on? Where the fuck have you been? Really, the moral high ground, Ben? I did come home this morning intending to crawl into bed with you, only, what do I find? What are you talking about? Who's this sleeping in my bed? Not fucking Goldilocks.
Christ, Hannah! Christ, Hannah, exactly.
Do you want me to explain? No! She got in without me knowing.
Fuck off.
It's amazing.
I mean Ben, if you're gonna lie to me at least do me the courtesy of making it a good one.
I am not fucking lying.
She literally got into my bed.
I woke up and told her to get out.
What's going on? Poppy, tell her.
Tell her what? Don't fuck around, Poppy.
Tell her.
I don't want to hear it.
You two can do whatever the fuck it is you like.
Poppy! What? I don't I just I'm sorry.
Ben didn't do anything.
I just I got in and I got out.
Poppy, you can't do that! I know.
I'm sorry.
I won't do it again.
This is my house! This is my life! You can't just Um I think maybe you should go back to your mum's.
And no more skeletons hiding in the closet.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Well, come on, you can see how I might have got the wrong idea.
Well, yeah, fine.
If you hadn't just pissed off, as always.
Not ignored what's going wrong here.
Ben, I'm just And do you know what? Actually, forgive me if I don't find this all slightly hypocritical, me lying in bed with someone else.
Given what you do every single day Ben, I know.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I'm sorry, I mean it.
I just I'm I was I was just fragile and I was angry and I just I just wanted to be Belle for a bit and not Hannah.
Oh, my god, when are you gonna get it? There is no Belle and there is no Hannah.
There's just you.
It's just you who won't stop fucking this up.
It's just you who doesn't know what you want.
And I am getting so sick and tired of waiting around to find out if it's gonna be me.
Oh, my god.
Keep my love as light as a feather I've got a client.
He likes roleplay, very specific.
Special delivery.
You're not angry? No.
Some people make you care whether you want to or not.
You can do anything you want.
What would you get up to in "the city that never sleeps?" This is your chance to win a weekend of a lifetime courtesy of Virgin Holidays + Hip Hotels, you and three friends can fly premium economy to New York and stay for three nights in a luxury Manhattan boutique hotel.
You'll be served cocktails in CV followed by dinner for four.
And if that isn't enough to tempt you, you'll also win ã2,000 so you can truly follow in Belle's footsteps and have the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees.
Just answer the following question.
You can also enter for free at itv.
com