Sex and the City s05e01 Episode Script

When you are single in New York, there is no end to ways to fill your days.
Museums, parks, theatres, concert halls, nightclubs and countless restaurants.
But one of the most amazing things about living in New York is that any night, you can go to Paris.
"Joy For Two" for one.
Enjoy the show.
Thank you.
It was one of those perfect New York nights.
That fucking Richard.
A less than perfect day.
He left an "I'm sorry" message.
Like that makes up for eating another woman's pussy.
Samantha! It's OK.
Nothing has to change.
- Think of this as a big purse.
- Your purse just spit up.
You'd think after three weeks he'd get the message.
Not OK to eat another woman's pussy.
- Samantha, Brady! - I'm pissed off.
- What am I supposed to say? - Call it another woman's sushi.
Fine.
Richard ate her sushi.
Fish and chips would have been an unfortunate order.
- What did you do last night? - A movie.
- With who? - Myself.
- On date night? - Will we call it that in our 50s? People would be thinking, "That poor, pathetic girl.
" - Like how I'm looking at you now? - What? - You don't go out alone? - On date night? New York is the perfect place to be single.
The city is your date.
- You're dating the city? - About 18 years.
It's getting serious.
I think I'm in love.
- Do not check your messages.
- I'm not.
I wanted you to hear his tone on my machine.
If you keep participating, you might as well call him.
- I'm not participating.
- This has to stop.
It's tragic you were in love and it didn't work.
You have to emotionally cut him out and the sooner, the better.
Everyone knows you only get two great loves.
- Where did you get that? - In a magazine.
"Convenient Theories For You Monthly"? - What does that mean? - When you were married, - you believed in one great love.
- What does "great love" mean? A love that changes you, that shakes you to your core, after which you're never the same.
Seriously.
There is not unlimited love in the world.
It's rare.
Way to take the edge off a club sandwich.
So far I've had one Trey.
How many have you had? - Zero.
- Really? What about Steve? Steve's a friend, not a core shaker.
I'm done with great love.
I'm back to great lovers.
- You? - I refuse to define love in those terms.
- I had to.
- Come on, Carrie.
Aidan and Big.
One, two.
According to you, I'm done.
No, it was a stupid article.
It was at the dentist.
No, it's too late for that.
You said it.
It's over for me.
Here lies Carrie.
She had two loves and lots of shoes.
Fuck love.
I gave you "sushi", I need "fuck".
After a light lunch, Miranda stopped to set down a heavy load.
- You want me to carry him? - I've just got to switch.
Ladies, seamen, 12 o'clock.
I pray when I turn around there are sailors.
With her, you never know.
Oh, wow! We have just spotted our first sailors.
Fleet Week has begun.
Fleet Week is that one week a year when the US Naval ships dock, and our fair city is made even fairer with cute, sweet, American sailors looking for fun.
I've been so distracted by Richard.
I almost forgot my favourite holiday.
- It isn't a holiday.
- It should be.
The antidote to Valentine's Day.
Just what I need.
I'm gonna find out about the big party.
- Hold on, Pearl Harbor.
Not interested.
- We always have fun.
Running through Times Square in heels, to find a sailor to kiss.
That ship has sailed, pun intended.
We have to.
It's our patriotic duty as women of New York.
If you want to do your patriotic duty as New York women, you will come shopping and throw some much needed money downtown.
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
I forgot the Snuggly.
Well, let's get you a cab home.
There's one.
Taxi.
Oh, OK.
- I'll call you later? - Overspend for me.
- OK.
- I'm OK.
I've got it.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
I'll call you later.
Miranda suddenly found herself moving slowly away from her old life.
And quickly into her new one.
Oh, baby boy.
Big baby.
Look at that big face.
Here, let Magda I'm good.
I've got it.
You keep doing the thing, the mirror.
- The nurse will put him down for a nap.
- On floor? - Lina? - Is that my big boy? Hi, what are you doing here? I came over to hang with B boy.
Magda let me in.
- Hey, champ! Want half a sandwich? - Where'd you get? OK, Steve? I can't have you hang.
I've got a schedule.
I've gotta get Brady down for a nap or he won't sleep tonight.
- Lina! - How's your nipples? - Excuse me? - Lina said they get sore.
Lina, would you get Brady ready for his nap? And don't talk to Steve about my nipples.
Thanks.
- Don't blame her.
I asked.
- You asked about my nipples? I talk about your nipples to strangers all the time.
- Ha ha, ho ho.
Bye! - Hey, hey.
I came over to help.
I appreciate that but I've hired help.
- Everything's under control.
- Thanks for the eats.
Have a good evening, Mrs MacDougal.
Charlotte realised she may have put great love number one behind her, but his name was still in front of her.
Break-ups.
Bad for the heart, good for the economy.
It's the bad guy again.
I'll keep calling till you agree to talk.
Unless you want 20 messages every day, meet me tonight.
I miss you.
I'll be waiting, gorgeous.
Right sentiment.
Sushi Samba.
Wrong restaurant.
Richard Wright? Right this way.
Hello, gorgeous.
In a wildly optimistic gesture, I ordered you a dirty martini.
Dirty martini? Dirty bastard.
I have always wanted to do that, but I don't think I could.
- How did it feel? - Fabulous.
But I woke up this morning even angrier.
I need to hurt him more.
I can't be around that man.
He's toxic.
- So, he's "manthrax"? - Arrogant prick! I wonder what he was gonna say.
That he loves me, we belong together, he didn't mean to hurt me.
People make mistakes.
I cheated on Aidan.
He gave me a second chance.
Look how that turned out.
That was different.
- True.
It wasn't a sushi situation.
- That's another thing.
I'm not doing the baby talk at breakfast.
I signed up for friendship, not bullshit baby brunches.
You're overreacting.
Brady won't happen every day.
- He'd better not.
- Miranda's still Miranda.
She had a baby, not a lobotomy.
She knows you're not child-friendly.
Don't kid yourself.
Days of "pussy" and "fuck" are gone.
Later that night, I got to thinking about days gone by.
That carefree time when our schedules were as open as our hearts.
The time before the baggage and babies began to weigh us down.
I couldn't help wonder, does that sense of adventure still flicker inside us? Or when it comes to being carefree single girls, have we missed the boat? Surprise! Pain au chocolat.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't know you.
I'm Carrie.
I'm a friend of Hi, this is Lina.
Come in.
- Does she speak? - No, I love her.
Were we supposed to do something and I forgot it? No, I had the day free and thought I'd stop by for a chatty.
- Fatty, come on.
I've gotta sit.
- Are you hungry? I brought some pain au chocolat.
Thanks, but the only eating I'm concerned with now is Brady.
- He doesn't want to eat.
- Perhaps he's anorexic.
- Sorry, what? - It's a dumb joke.
- What was it? - Anorexic.
Oh, yeah no.
I've been trying to feed him for an hour and he won't latch on Stop.
Boring.
What's up with you? Well, I've been thinking about that thing that Charlotte said in the coffee shop.
About the great loves? Here we go.
So maybe Aidan and Big are my two great loves, now.
But that doesn't mean that that I'm always gonna feel - that way about them.
- Come on, Brady.
It's right here.
OK, you don't want it? Fine.
Here we go.
There, in the middle of my two great loves, were Miranda's two great breasts.
I'm sorry.
What? Your breasts are huge! No, what were you saying? I can't even remember.
This is so frustrating.
- He'll eat eventually.
- No, not that.
This is frustrating.
I can't follow your thoughts.
It's all nursing and nipples.
Sweetie, they're looking right at me.
I am not gonna become one of those mothers who cannot carry on an adult conversation.
I am not.
Three weeks ago, I would've been listening and saying funny things.
Now I'm going, "What?" I didn't get the anorexic joke.
- How easy was that? - I'm just talking.
It's just words.
They're your words.
It's not just now.
Could Samantha have gotten me into that cab faster? Carrie, my friendships are important to me.
We're not going anywhere.
Things will have to change a little.
- Fuck.
- I know.
But you're still one of us.
Only now, you're the one with the biggest boobs.
Can you believe the size of my nipples? I was not at all prepared.
I'm gonna have to find some trauma counselling.
There.
We have contact.
OK.
I'm gonna go.
Let you concentrate on Mr Hobbes.
You don't have to go.
I can listen now.
I can do it.
Miranda, you're a mother.
- But it's OK.
I won't tell anyone.
- Don't.
What are you going to do all day? First a trip to the Guggenheim and then lunch and then - Who knows? It's New York.
- Hot date with your city? Exactly.
See that? You listened and we had the witty repartee.
Bye.
That same afternoon, Charlotte felt like going to a movie.
She called her afternoon movie friend, Anthony.
Carrie says the French film at The Paris is amazing.
Fuck the French.
Like I need to spend an afternoon looking at that shit.
- Good hat.
- Thanks.
What do you want to see? - Anything with Josh Hartnett.
- I don't know him.
He's cute, with a capital 'U' He totally checked you out.
Get his number.
- He's a sailor.
- I know! Hurry! He's getting away.
- I can't do that.
- You are so not gay.
- What am I going to do with him? - Fuck him! Put an end to that Park Avenue, pink shirt, flaccid mojo - you've been dragging around.
- I'm not dragging anything around.
I changed my name back to York on my mailbox.
Good for you.
Maybe you should be thinking about a different box.
When did you last have sex? If you have to think, it's been too long.
- When was the last time? - 10:30 today at the gym.
I'm not looking for just sex.
I can have just sex.
I'm looking for my next great love.
Don't let it hit that six month mark.
After that, it's a sleigh ride into menopause.
If you don't put something in there soon, it will grow over.
What is it with this friggin' wind? As Charlotte and Anthony made a left, Samantha found herself in the right neighbourhood, Richard Wright's.
Here you go.
Thank you.
One for you.
Ma'am.
It's against city law to deface public property.
This man said he loved me, and I caught him eating another woman's pussy.
Carry on, ma'am.
New York weather, like a man, can be unpredictable.
But that's part of the fun.
And a New York museum, like a man, can sometimes be closed when you wish they were open.
That's another reason I love New York.
Just like that, it can go from bad to cute.
Well, I guess we're not going anywhere for a while.
I love the way the rain smells.
If this were a French movie, we'd fall in love and get married.
No, I was just pointing out how romantic this would be in a movie.
I don't want to marry you.
OK, I do! Come on.
I'm kidding.
We just met.
Let's wait five minutes.
I don't want to get married.
I was engaged last year, and if I didn't want to marry him - Singles at the counter.
- I was hoping to get a table Singles, counter.
Two! Two! - OK, thank you.
- Two! Who's next? Several blocks later, I decided to warm up with a bowl of matzo ball soup.
Come on, come on! Let's go! That manager's really a prick.
I put up with it because I come here all the time.
They know me.
I live in the neighbourhood.
We single gals got to have a port in a storm.
Am I right? Lithium.
I like to sprinkle it on my ice cream.
- Ever try it? - No, can't say that I have.
What kind of mood elevator are you on? I'm not on one.
Yeah? I used to be like you.
Then I broke up with this guy.
This was '82.
Morty.
Thought somebody better would come along.
Never happened.
Oh, I love this! If Charlotte was right, this woman's two great loves were a man named Morty and lithium-laced ice cream.
After 20 minutes squatting under the coffee shop hand dryer, I realised I'd been kidding myself.
New York and I didn't have the perfect relationship.
All right! It was dismissive, abusive, and it made me feel desperate.
I was now fresh out of great loves.
Hey, sir! Thank you.
Should I? Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Louis Laroy.
This is Bill Hope and Paul Watkins.
We'd like to invite you to a navy party tonight.
- Feel free to bring some girlfriends.
- Feel very free.
I don't know why I was fighting it.
This will be fun! Exactly what we needed.
Three single gals back on the town.
What's the longest you've gone without sex? You don't get that info without dinner and a drink.
Next week will be six months.
Thanks.
She threw me and I lost my concentration.
I am gonna have sex with a sailor tonight.
- She almost got me on that one.
- I have to have sex to put Mrs Trey MacDougal behind me.
I'm a new Charlotte York.
- What about the great loves? - Maybe that was bullshit.
Gotcha.
- How are we gonna find your sailor? - We'll find him.
God bless America.
The important thing is to stick together or we'll get lost.
Samantha! Charlotte! Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There.
And uptown, another woman found herself in a confusing navel situation.
Look, Brady.
There's your belly-button.
Help me! I can't do this.
I'm prepared for the expected, but not the unexpected.
I can't schedule shit like this.
And the people you hire won't help you! Where's the cat? Oh God.
Steve, it's gross.
- Help me.
It's gross.
- Relax.
I'll give you a hand.
He may not be a core shaker, but Steve was there when she was shaken to the core.
You looking for someone? My girlfriends.
This party's like the Bermuda Triangle for women.
- That's a little sailor joke.
- You're funny.
- You remind me of my mom.
- Bye-bye.
- Evening, Miss.
- Ahoy, matey! Nice dicky.
Meanwhile, I had not found Charlotte, but Charlotte had found an officer who wasn't a gentleman.
- Show me your tits? - I can't do that.
I barely know you.
OK.
Just show me one.
It's an order.
The old Charlotte would've had him court-martialled, but the new one - Well, officer.
- had a deadline.
If it's an order.
- Jesus! - Carrie! I was just looking for you.
I didn't - This is Officer Matt Cook.
- I'll see you later.
I can't do this.
Let's just talk.
It's your call, Ma'am.
Charlotte was caught somewhere between the old and new York.
She figured showing her boob to a stranger bought her three months.
Carrie! There you are.
Where's Charlotte? Believe it or not, she's involved in a peep show upstairs.
I'm starting to have a new-found respect for that girl.
What is it about today? I've seen Miranda's boobs, Charlotte's boob.
Why not show me yours and get it over with? I was kidding.
I wasn't.
That ought to hook me a sailor.
Yeah, Tailhook you one.
I'm going.
- No! - Yes.
I was right.
This ship has sailed and tragically, I'm still on it.
Good night.
Hey, keep an eye on Boom Boom up there.
Hey, there.
You came.
- Yes.
I came, I saw, I'm leaving.
- Come on.
I've come all the way from Louisiana to dance with a New York city girl.
I'm a good dancer.
Even though she was floating in a sea of dickies One new message and 12 saved messages.
Samantha could only think about Richard.
You threw a drink in my face and papered my neighbourhood.
Would I still call if I didn't really love you? I love you, gorgeous.
Give me another chance.
You threw a drink in my face and papered my neighbourhood.
Would I still be calling if I didn't really love you? Say, Louis from Louisiana, how many great loves do you think you get in a lifetime? Great loves? That is the question on deck.
Maybe one, if you're lucky.
Well, I'm glad I stayed.
After this city kicked my ass today, I needed that dance.
I have to say, this is my first trip to New York.
Not for me.
The garbage, the noise.
I don't know how you put up with it.
Thanks.
Goodnight.
Wait.
Going home all alone? - It's rough out there.
- It isn't so bad.
If Louis was right, and you only get one great love, New York may just be mine.
I can't have nobody talking shit about my boyfriend.
A short while later, I had a thought.
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back.
Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.