Sex Education (2019) s02e05 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 5

1 [OLA.]
So, it's set in a futuristic Australia where nothing makes sense.
Tank Girl's first words were "cauliflower penis.
" I don't get it.
You're not meant to.
It's surreal.
I'm really glad we're okay now.
What's that noise? It's my heart.
Can I kiss you? Kiss me harder.
What's wrong? Where's Otis? I think I might have killed him.
Turn around.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, hey! Great hat.
Good morning, Jeanie.
All right, let's get out of here, huh? - [OTIS.]
So, uh, where's your mate? [OTIS.]
Uh, he should be here.
- You know, on time is - Late.
- Right.
- [ERIC.]
Hey! - [OTIS.]
Hey, dude.
- Sorry, packing disaster.
- All right.
- Hey, Jean.
- Hi, Eric.
- What are you wearing? What are you wearing, bruv? And you've got Why have you got a laptop charger? - We're just going to a campsite, right? - No, we're in a forest.
We're hiking, I told you.
So, I shouldn't have worn espadrilles then? Eric, you're gonna go into the woods a boy and you're gonna come out a man of nature.
Mark my words.
Come on, let's go! - Come on, let's hit it.
- You will take care of them, won't you? - [REMI.]
Oh, relax, Jeanie.
He is perfectly safe in my hands.
Trust me.
Now, let's burn some rubber.
Should we play some tunes? - Yeah.
- Yeah? Come on, DJ Remi on the decks and that.
What you saying? [REMI.]
Have you told Maeve you can't see her anymore yet? Ola won't speak to me until I do.
- I don't want to hurt her.
- [REMI.]
So, who's Maeve? Hmm? - No one.
- Well, I mean She's she's a friend.
In our dance hall days Dance hall days, love - Ready? Give me your cheeks again.
Do that.
Do it to me.
I love a makeover.
You want me to paint your nails, Froggy? No, thanks.
Look what I ordered.
Ta da! [LAUGHS.]
It's for Jonathan.
To say thank you for all the babysitting Cynthia has yet to agree to.
- She's gonna love me.
- That's emotional manipulation.
I know.
I'm an evil genius.
Do that.
I've got an NA meeting today.
- It's a friends-and-family session.
- That's really good.
I was hoping you could come.
I've got work to do.
Please come.
I want you to see how well I'm doing.
Plus, there's free biscuits.
What kind? Custard creams.
Oh, hello.
Hi, I'm Viv.
Jackson's tutor.
- [VIV.]
Nice house.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- You're studying on the weekend, that's dedicated.
We're actually rehearsing his lines for Shakespeare.
Uh, Viv is helping me with my Shakespeare essay for English.
So, um, yeah.
We're gonna go study now.
- You've met, right? - We've literally just said hello.
She's nice.
She's really smart.
What was that about? Yeah, I haven't told them about the play yet.
My mum wouldn't get it.
Anyway, talk to me about Dex.
- What do your friends think of him? - I don't have time for friends, but I can be more social once I get in to university.
You do know a boyfriend is like a friend, right? Yeah, but Dex is busy too.
Our schedules are very compatible.
- Okay, all right.
Tell me about him.
- Well, he's the 34th fastest Rubik's Cuber in the world.
He likes BBQ flavored Doritos.
He bites his bottom lip when he thinks about something really difficult.
And he's spoken to me exactly 26 times, using a total of 556 words.
Right, okay.
I meant, what does he like to do in his spare time? Oh, he works at Pegasus Hobbies and Games at the weekend.
Why? Huh.
Uh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, yeah Oh Twenty five miles from home, girl My feet are hurting mighty bad Now I've been walking for three days And two lonely nights You know that I'm mighty mad But I got a woman waiting for me That's gonna make this trip worthwhile You see, she's got the kind of lovin' And a-kissing A-make a man go stone wild So I got to keep on walkin' I got to walk on [OTIS.]
So, according to The Happy Campers Guidebook, we need to find a spot near a source of water.
Otis, my man, you've gotta put that book away.
You know, we've got all the information we need right here.
Do you do a lot of camping in America, Remi? Oh, yeah.
All the time.
My wife Delilah and I, we like to take our little boys out of the city as much as we can.
Shh, shh.
- That's a nightingale.
- [ERIC.]
Where? Oh, yeah.
Right, right there.
- Do you see her? - Oh.
- [REMI.]
She's so rare.
- [ERIC.]
That's, like, so pretty.
- [REMI.]
- Uh I think it's a crow.
Well, this looks like an all right place to camp.
Yeah, it's got good ley lines, you know.
What? [LAUGHS.]
Get your laughing gear around this baby.
- Keep yourself warm.
- Okay, I don't think we should drink, - whilst we hike, Dad.
It's stupid.
Is he always like this? Do try and relax, Otis.
- Try and relax, dude.
- I'm relaxed, shut up.
- I'm relaxed.
- I think we should get our first hike in right now.
Well, I mean, we should set up the tents first.
No, I think it's time we try to access our inner wild man.
- [REMI.]
Are you with me, Eric? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Good lad.
I think we should get drunk with your dad.
Can you smell the wild garlic, Eric? [ERIC.]
Yes, I can, Remi.
Yes, I can! [REMI.]
Jakob! Jakob! Oh, hi.
Front door was open.
I'm making you a new pan shelf.
I'm doing a vagina [WHIRRING CONTINUES.]
I'm doing a vagina workshop in a bit and I [NORMAL.]
Think you could keep it down? Yeah, sure.
I'll just use my silencer.
That's my James Bond impression.
I promise you, won't be long.
You ready? [VIV.]
Ready as I'll ever be.
He's looking at us.
Act like I've said something really funny.
Okay, too much.
Too much.
Reign it in.
He's making his way over.
Remember what I said, all right? Be cool, - be calm, be confident.
- Bev.
- Hi.
- Whoa.
Honestly, don't worry about it, Bev.
It's fine.
It happens all the time.
You keep calling her "Bev.
" Her name's actually Viv.
I'm so sorry.
I did know that.
I'm just terrible with names.
- I didn't know you guys were - Friends.
We're just friends.
Who have casual sex sometimes.
Right? Well, uh what can I help you with, Viv? War of the Ring.
Oh, I love that game, but we've just sold our last one.
- [DEX.]
Tell you what, maybe I could take your number down, and I can let you know when it comes back in stock.
That's me.
I'll never forget the look on their faces.
Staring at me.
The man who was supposed to be their father shitting into a plastic bag in the middle of Hamleys.
That's my biggest regret.
Well, thank you for sharing, Nathan.
That was very touching.
I'd like to share.
- I'm Erin and I'm an addict.
- [MAN.]
I've been clean for 13 months now.
And, you know, every day is a struggle.
This is my daughter, Maeve, here too.
She's very angry with me, but I understand her anger, and I want her to know it's okay to blame me because so much of her pain is my fault.
But I also want her to know that life hasn't been easy for me either.
I have ended up in many bad situations in my life, but I was just doing the best that I could with the tools I had at the time.
Maeve I will never forgive myself for abandoning you and your brother.
And I just hope you'll be able to find it in yourself to forgive me.
You're unbelievable.
- What's wrong? - It's all about you, isn't it, Erin? That wasn't an apology.
That was just another excuse.
You don't end up in bad situations.
You make bad choices.
Hey, body slammer.
What you doing here? - [THUD.]
- Oh, dear.
- Can you give me a hand, please? - Why would I do that sucker? Come on.
It was pretty funny.
You don't laugh much, do you? Always so serious in the face department.
Is that your schtick? What's this for? Well, come and have a look if you like.
I'm not interested.
Except you kind of are.
I'm not.
- [THUD.]
- [ISAAC.]
Yeah, it might be easier if you just carry them inside for me.
A hot cup of cocoa on the coldest day A smile for a stranger As you go on your way A night on the town At the old cabaret It's the simple things Those elementary things [ISAAC.]
My brother and I, we teach this class once a week.
Where did you guys learn how to dance? Yeah, you know, around and about.
Happened in the army.
Second tour of Afghanistan.
My tank was attacked by a pack of wild dogs.
- I am lucky to be alive.
- I didn't ask.
But you really, really want to.
I don't feel sorry for you.
- I need a partner.
- Perfect.
Jerry, meet Maeve.
No, I can't dance.
Simple things Right.
Hands above the hips now, Jerry.
It's not the 1960s anymore.
This week's focus is on the pleasure points inside the vagina.
Now, the primary pleasure point, if you want to refer to your leaflets, yes, is the clitoris, which can be found at the crest of the labia majora.
Behold, the clitoris.
Well, it doesn't actually come out, but, um - Yes.
- Oh, yes, I was wondering if your bike has been sitting in the garden for six years, it's probably going to be quite rusty, isn't it? Is the bike in question your vagina? Yes.
What I'm asking is, if you haven't been touched in a long time, are you still going to feel anything? I can assure you, vaginal pleasure does not diminish with age or lack of contact.
In fact, there are many ways that we [DRILL WHIRRING.]
One moment, please.
You said it wasn't gonna take long! Just stop! Three more screws.
Look, I didn't ask for a fucking pan shelf in the first place.
My pan shelf is fine.
Your pans don't fit.
My pans fit fine.
Take your hand away.
This isn't about the pan shelves, is it? You are everywhere.
Your things are everywhere.
And why do you have so much loose change, huh? I-I can't get two seconds alone with my own thoughts because there you are again.
And there and there.
We are in a relationship.
I kissed Remi.
Three more screws.
Oh, shit.
- [JEAN.]
All right, ladies.
Could you take up your hand mirrors, please? [WHISPERS.]
Come and see me afterwards.
I've got something that may help you to get back on your bike.
Guys, do you think maybe we should head back? No, Otis.
It's your go.
- I don't want to play.
- Okay.
Never have I ever had to choose between my girlfriend and the girl I'm secretly in love with.
Oh! Oh.
Oh, is this about the mysterious Maeve, huh? Oh, come on, Otis.
Open up to your old man.
- [OTIS.]
We're friends.
- [REMI.]
I used to like her more than that.
Um She didn't feel the same way, but now she told me she has feelings for me.
And my girlfriend kind of found out.
- Uh-oh.
- So, uh now I have to choose between cutting Maeve out my life or losing my girlfriend.
Yeah, I was in a similar situation once.
It's a difficult decision, but the heart wants what it wants.
Is that what happened with Mum? Yeah, and sometimes you you're just with the wrong person, Otis.
Uh - Yeah, um - Everything all right, Dad? Yeah, just, uh, you know, just getting my my bearings.
This is faulty.
Have you got a map? Mm-hmm.
Um, do you want to use my phone? No, a map is just fine.
Uh This way.
Yeah, it is definitely this way.
Maybe the drinking was a bad idea.
Have you ever had a weird dream? [CASH REGISTER BEEPING, TRAY OPENS.]
Oi! - I'm talking to you.
- I don't dream.
- Everyone dreams.
- No, I've smoked too much weed.
What about a sex dream? - About another guy? - Look, I said I don't dream.
Okay? I had a sex dream last night about a girl.
Even though we didn't actually have sex, we just kissed.
- I just can't stop thinking about it.
- Dreams aren't real.
That's why they're called dreams.
Do you think it means something if I'm having sex dreams about girls? I don't know.
Go and ask Google like everyone else.
You didn't answer my question before.
Where'd you learn to dance? Well, we lived with this lady for a bit, ex-ballroom champion.
She was horrible, but she had rhythm, so What do you mean "for a bit"? Foster families never keep the disabled kid around too long.
Make a sad face and I will ram you.
I keep seeing your mum coming in and out of NA.
She looks like a character.
Yeah, well, that's none of your business.
Cynthia said that she pissed off a few years ago.
- Junkies are the worst.
- She's been clean for two years.
Yeah, we've all heard that one before.
You don't know me or my mum, okay? Oh, I thought we we're going to bond.
Orphan to orphan.
Well, you were wrong.
Hey, I didn't mean to cross a line.
I'm sorry.
Maybe your mum's different.
I mean Nothing changes, if nothing changes, right? Did you just make that up? No.
That's the quote they use on their poster.
I think it should say, "Once an addict always an addict.
" You're a real dick, you know? Who do you notice more when you walk down the street? Men or women? Both.
- I thought everyone did.
- Well, I only notice girls.
They're everywhere.
Um I'm a pansexual, apparently.
What, like fucking pots and pans? I knew a guy who used to like to stick his dick in the suction pipe of a vacuum cleaner.
It's normal.
Pansexual means that you're attracted to the person, not the sex or gender.
Uh, it's about the connection you have with the human being, not with their genitalia.
Kind of makes sense, actually.
It doesn't make sense to me.
You were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Yeah, I walked.
I'm really enjoying walking at the moment.
It's so evaporating.
- Invigorating? - Yeah.
That's what I said.
Oh, sorry.
That was an accident.
Ah Do you not want me to? What makes you think I don't? You keep slapping me in the head.
Maybe we can watch a film or something? Yeah.
Are you sure everything's okay? I feel like you've been acting a bit strange since what happened with the bus.
- Do you want to talk about it? - I'm fine, Steve.
I'm just tired from my walk.
Go and get the laptop.
there's something to be jealous of.
- So, when he texts you - He won't text me.
He will definitely text you.
And you will definitely make him wait at least two and a half hours for a response.
- Why so much game playing? - Only at the start.
Eventually, you will just like each other for your personalities.
When have you ever liked anyone for their personality? I did.
I liked someone quite a lot.
Yeah, I'm sure that you're pining over Maeve Wiley's love of feminist literature.
It had nothing to do with the size of her boobs.
Why are you so chippy? Because guys like you never see girls like me.
All your conquests look like they've been made in lab.
It's transparent.
I really liked Maeve, you know.
What was it about her that you liked so much? It's just the feeling, isn't it? I can't really explain it.
"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore, is winged Cupid painted blind.
" - Midsummer Night's Dream.
- Yeah, you know.
So, I've been reading his other plays.
Not sure about all the pixie stuff, but he's all right.
I think you should tell your mum that you're in a school play.
She'll be really proud.
Sorry, did you just give me a compliment just then? Or If you stop being so lazy and learn your lines.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Thank you for today.
It's all right.
Hey, Viv? Yeah? I do see you, by the way.
I see a girl that gave Dex her number.
See you later.
Two and a half hours.
Dad, we're lost, all right? We are not lost.
What does the flipping map say? It says it's a cheap piece of shit.
It is okay to admit we're lost.
I'm not going to admit anything because we are not lost.
Guys! Guys! - Guys, I think I can see our stuff.
- Ah, you see! I told you we were not lost.
Oh, my God! My hat! All right, let's just get these tents up.
They are pop-up, right? Yeah, you just gotta open the bag, and then, you just And then it just pops up.
You need to take the strap.
Dad? All right, you think you're winning? Do you? I have been through so much worse than you.
How many bloody doctorates have you got? You piece of fucking shit! Pop-up, my arse! Why don't we get a hotel? No, we're not getting a fucking hotel.
Hey, two rooms, please Janine.
What are they for? Just felt like buying them.
They're far too expensive.
I want a divorce.
You were right.
I did make choices.
And I can't take them back.
And nothing you can say will ever make me feel any worse than I already do.
Can you do my nails for me, please? [EXHALES.]
I haven't got all night, though, so [PHONE VIBRATING.]
- Why'd you keep ignoring Rahim? - 'Cause I'm hanging with you.
I don't want to be one of these people that're suddenly obsessed - with who they're dating.
- Well, that's very sweet, Eric, but why are you ignoring him? Didn't he ask you to be his boyfriend? Okay.
I have to tell you something.
Okay? But you can't be mad I didn't say anything before.
Do you remember I got detention last term with Adam? Well he gave me a blowjob.
And since he's been back, we've been going on all these late-night walks where we go and smash stuff and then we kiss a lot and and it's amazing.
Why is your face not moving? Because he he bullied you for years, Eric.
He's a horrible person.
No, but people can change.
If he's changed, then why is he making you sneak around at night? Well, it's romantic.
Something you wouldn't know about because you're too busy pretending to have feelings for your girlfriend, when everyone knows that you're actually in love with Maeve.
- No, take that back.
- You take back what you said.
- What about Rahim? - Oh, my God.
He's not ashamed to be with you.
Don't pretend to be all "Team Rahim" now.
What's that supposed to mean? I think that that is what this is really about.
You don't like being the one left behind for a change.
No, Eric.
This is about you being so self-hating that you'd let yourself fall for someone who literally treats you like shit.
Don't therapize me, Otis.
You don't know what my reality is.
Do what you want.
Okay? But ask yourself why have you really been hiding it? [REMI, SHOUTING.]
Why, Delilah? Don't! Don't hang up! - [THUD.]
- Argh! - I've gotta go check on my dad.
- Yeah, we'll talk later.
Yeah? You all right, Dad? Yeah, Delilah has, uh has left me for someone else.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
Are you upset by that? Yeah.
Yeah, um I'm upset for you.
'Cause it's it's okay if you want to cry, Otis.
I mean - Yeah, I will.
I'm good.
- Yeah, you know, it's it's all right for men to cry.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Oh, God.
What's wrong? I'm going to kiss you.
Why are we at school? We're always at school.
Where's Otis? Don't worry he's with Maeve.
You're safe.
Jean speaking.
Hi, Jean.
It's Delilah.
Is Remi there? Remi's with Otis, Delilah.
Can I help? Um, yeah, can you get him to give me a call? We need to arrange a time for him to come and get his things.
You were right after all, Jean.
- I couldn't change him either.
I'll give him the message.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Delilah didn't leave you for someone else, did she? You cheated again.
And you came here 'cause you had nowhere else to go.
Quick! Quick! Come here, Otis, Remi! Come, man! [ERIC EXHALES.]
Good thing for insurance, eh? [CHUCKLES.]
You did get insurance, didn't you? - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- I don't think he got insurance.
I have a picture Pinned to my wall An image of you and of me And we're laughing With love at it all Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh Hold me now Oh, oh, warm my heart [GROANING LOUDLY.]
Adam, could you come downstairs, please? I'm divorcing your father.
Would you like some mango? [OTIS.]
I'm sorry about what I said last night.
I just wish you'd told me.
I thought you'd be judgmental.
Yeah, you were right.
- I just don't want you to get hurt.
- Oh.
But if you think he's changed, I believe you.
I didn't mean what I said about Ola.
Okay, if you're happy, then I'm happy.
I really thought he came back to see me this time.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus is the Lord.
Jesus is the Lord.
Please never leave us again, Jean.
- How was it? - [OTIS.]
We saw a nightingale.
And it rained, and we got lost.
Dad fought a tent like it was a person.
And the nightingale was a crow.
Remi How was the trip? Shit.
How can you mend This broken man? Yeah - How can a loser ever win? - [SIGHS DESPONDENTLY.]
Somebody Please help me mend My broken heart And let me live again And sometime I have to say, yeah Say, la, la, la La, la, la Uh-huh, yeah La, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la I'll just drop you at yours, Eric.
Thanks, Jean.
My broken heart I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna Live again, baby How can you mend This broken heart? Somebody, please tell me How can you stop the rain From falling down? [PHONE VIBRATING, CHIMES.]
Oh, oh, tell me Help me mend my Please help me mend my broken heart I think I I believe I I got a feeling that I want to live Live and live La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la - [OLA.]
- Hi.
Shall we go inside? Yeah.
Delilah called.
You know I'm a sex addict, Jean.
I'm going to get help this time.
I want to be a good father.
To which children? [OTIS.]
I need to tell you something.
Um I might take your hand, actually.
No, wait.
That feels weird.
Here goes.
I love you.
Uh I said I love you.
Why are you laughing? Because [SIGHS.]
you don't love me.
And I've just realized that I definitely don't love you.
I think we got it wrong.
I think we're supposed to be friends.
What? We're so different, you know.
I like to be in the moment and you're so uptight.
You said you had to think about it, and it was difficult.
It shouldn't be difficult, Otis.
We're 16.
Are you breaking up with me? Yeah.
I am.
Ah, ah Okay, um, actually, just please go.
I'm really sorry, Otis.
So, have you decided not to ignore me anymore? Sorry.
I had some stuff that I needed to think about.
This is all new for me.
Uh Would you like to be my boyfriend? I asked you first.
I would like to be your boyfriend, Rahim.
Shit, there are people.
I don't care.
T'ain't no big thing To wait for the bell to ring T'ain't no big thing The toll of the bell Hi.
I'm going to kiss you, okay? Oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh-oh-oh Love is the drug That's what it's supposed to feel like.
I have to go and do homework.
Discuss this? But you've already said you don't want me here.
What do you expect me to do? [MAUREEN.]
It's not that I don't want you here.
I just want a divorce.
I get more sense from my pupils than you.
You don't need to stay at school.
- You don't want me here, Maureen.
- [SIGHS.]
Can you slip away Slip away, slip away Oh I need you so Love, oh, love How sweet it is When you steal it, darling Let me tell you somethin' now How sweet it is Now, I know it's wrong The things I ask you to do But please believe me, darling I don't mean to hurt you But could you just slip away Without him knowing you're gone? Then we could meet somewhere Somewhere where We're both an unknown And, yes, can you slip away Slip away Slip away, yeah
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