Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s04e01 Episode Script

If It Be Man's Work

KEYBOARD CLACKING PC ALERT BEEPS No, no, no, no! What's up?Malware.
Use the scrubber.
No, it's frozen! It's into your directory.
Try rebalancing the server load.
I'm trying.
Dean's going to kill me if we lose this work! What's happening? Someone's hacking us.
- ALERTS BEEP - Do something! RAPID BEEPING We're under attack.
Ah DOOR THUDS Frank.
It's push to open.
Yes, I know that, but you said that you were going to fix it.
Good morning to you, too.
It's like a sauna in here.
The heating's officially gone bananas.
Yeah, well, it's hot enough to grow them.
Many people would be happy to have such robust heating.
You've got to admit it, Frank, this office is starting to show its age.
Nonsense.
It's got personality.
Ha! Just think of the proud history in every brick and beam.
So much proud history, it's crumbling under the weight of it.
ALERT PINGS My laptop's gone mad.
Control, alt, delete.
LAPTOP: All right, guys, how's it going? Spider? What are you doing in my laptop? I thought I'd pop by and have a word.
Well, couldn't you do it like a human? Well, he probably tried, couldn't get in the door.
Don't worry, Frank, it's not a social call.
I'm in need of your unique skills.
Oh, yes, Frank, look at this.
Nice, modern office building, where the walls don't look like they're about to fall in on you.
Uh, you'd be up and down these stairs all day.
Hey! Hey! Bore da! That's Welsh.
Look at us, the old clan back together again.
Tell you what, Spider, I don't think I've ever seen you this dressed up.
I appreciate the interest, Luella, but I'll have to pass.
There's another fly I'd like snared in this web.
So, what's the job? Oh.
it's a sweet gig.
I'm running cybersecurity here at Forosa.
They're a tech start-up.
I thought you had to go to Silicon Valley for that sort of thing? Oh, no, we've got a tech corridor right here on the Avon.
Oh, here comes the big boss.
Don't embarrass me now.
Welcome to Forosa.
I'm the CEO, Bertram Tark.
Friends call me Bertie.
Is that us? Let's find out.
Oh.
Oh! Please.
Thank you.
I welcome you to my personal space.
Please, take a pew.
Uh, where are the actual seats? Well, we feel that old ways of sitting mean old ways of thinking.
And these are great for your posture.
Oh, right.
Well, I love new ways of thinking.
Ooh! Are you all right? Sorry, I just, erm I just dropped my car keys.
Ooh! So, how much has Spider mentioned? Nothing.
Just to just for us to bring our bug sweeper.
He means an electronic counter-measuring sweeping device.
Spider That's not necessary.
Forosa's got an app coming out that's going to blow up.
We're talking nine figures big.
Nine! And we are going to launch in four days.
Oh.
Why the rush? It's an arms race.
The US competition are pulling out all the big guns to try and stop our app.
I don't see how we can help.
Well, no, especially not Frank.
He's only just learnt how to open an email.
THEY ALL LAUGH Just keys again.
Anyways, I think there's a mole.
Which I can't buy into.
We're a family here.
Yes.
However, we have seen many a family become their own worst enemy.
See? They have that intuition about people.
Well, I guess it couldn't hurt.
Remember, there's a potential billion dollars at stake here.
Who gets it depends on that app launch.
Don't you worry, Mr Tark.
For a billion dollars, we'll do our best.
Helena? Clearly contemplating our countdown to our future success there.
This is Frank and Lu.
They'll be helping Spider today.
Nice to meet you.
Though, not sure Spider needs any help keeping a close eye on us.
SPIDER LAUGHS FORCEDLY Yeah Just your your regular appropriate eye distance.
Ha SPIDER LAUGHS AWKWARDLY OK.
So, we're going to want to scan the place, and then ask everyone a few questions, if that's all right? Everyone? Yeah.
I'd better go prepare Dean.
Who's Dean? He's the programmer.
The app's his baby.
So, what is this fancy new app about? It's called FindFitFab.
The biggest question of shopping online is, "Will it suit me?" We generate an augmented reality picture of you in whatever item of clothing you choose.
Find, fit, fabulous.
Isn't she marvellous? Uh, the app, I mean.
Ha Let me show you.
Can I take a picture of your shirt? Ooh! Yes.
It's loaded on our test phones.
Frank, look at that! That's amazing! How many times do I say to you, "She looks great in that shirt," and what I really mean is I would look great in that shirt? So, this app will mean I don't have to get involved in this stuff? Uh, yeah.
I'm in.
Right, shall we move on? Yeah! SENSOR BEEPS This is the server room.
Usually, the data's saved to the cloud, but I've taken Forosa offline.
Right, so no-one can use the internet?That's right.
I've air-gapped the entire office.
No access, no hacks.
So, this is the only copy? Yep, that's right, Frank.
Doesn't that make it vulnerable? Oh, it's Fort Knox, this.
I've installed a motion sensor alarm.
Oh.
Ooh! It's off while we're in here.
- Oh.
- THEY LAUGH And no-one can get in because the door only opens with voice recognition, keyed to either me, Dean or Bertie.
Right.
So, not that girl that you were making moon eyes at earlier?font color="#ffff00ff I don't know what you mean.
I'm just a hired gun, a wandering ronin.
Who's clearly in love with Helena.
OK, well, I may have a teeny tiny crush.
We met gaming online years back.
She was the hottest ogre mage I ever saw.
Takes all types.
When H recommended me for this job, I thought, "Here's the opportunity to take things to the next level - "by saving the company.
" Oh, wow.
I'm not sure that's how romance works, but its lovely.
This way, please.
Oh.
He's ready for you.
See you, server room.
SENSOR BEEPS Dean, this is Ms Shakespeare and Uh, can you just? Ooh, sorry! No wonder the place is so clean, with this thing going around.
12 seconds, and these luddites are already breaking the machines? Sorry.
Uh.
Yeah, this works.
Thank you, Dean.
Meet Dean, the man who made the app possible.
Right, hi.
Hello, Dean.
Can you remember that your work here is secondary to mine? So, do not interfere with my work, or approach me without permission.
Right, OK.
Sorry, if we How do we get your permission if we're not allowed to come near you? EXASPERATED: Email.
Well, we'll just We'll just crack on with the scanning, shall we? Yes, OK Yeah, see if anyone's listening in.
Uh Look, I don't have time for paranoid amateurs playing with toys.
Ba-ba-ba.
No No! SCANNER SQUEALS Ooh! Ah! Ee-e-e-e-e! Oo-o-o-ooh SCANNER INTENSIFIES You see, it's not paranoia if someone's actually out to get you, is it? You've been bugged.
Someone planted this.
Which means? You've got a mole.
Who lives in a hole.
Morning, Sandeep.
Morning.
Loving those upgrades.
Thank you.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much.
BERTIE SHOUTS FROM WITHIN Idiot! Idiot! Agh! No, no, no! Four, four, four days till this app! No! Come on! Come on! BERTIE SHOUTS HE EXHALES SHARPLY If we want to find the spy in your midst, we need to talk to everyone.
Fine.
But how long is this going to take? Because we do have a deadline.
Not long.
So, what's your role here? I'm the senior coding synthesis architect.
Come again? UI/UX optimisation originator.
Sorry, is that a real title? Management guru and product evangelist.
I'm a digital protector.
A cyber-knight.
"Giant geek.
" So, how do you feel about working here? I love it.
The team's like a family.
I'm so lucky to be here.
It's the most vital work I've ever done.
I think that speaks to the team's level of engagement.
Is that another way of saying you pull some serious overtime? No, it's amazing.
The office is better than home.
Best company I've ever worked for.
It's brilliant.
It's a great place to work.
So, what do you think of Dean? He's a genius.
Oh, Dean's a perfectionist.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
Genius.
He's an auteur.
He's Da Vinci.
He's a a Genius?Yes! Any more questions? Erm Yeah, I do have one, actually.
What? Do you mind if I just photograph your top? Cos I just love the colours.
PHONE CAMERA CLICKS Oh, thank I mean, how good is that? Thank you.
It's like interviewing the Stepford Wives.
At least we know one of them's lying.
They're all lying! No-one can like work that much.
Give me a bunch of employees around the water cooler moaning, any day.
Maybe they're just happy here? I mean, it does happen.
SCANNER SQUEALS Oh, well That is a lovely handbag.
Ooh! Do you mind if I FindFitFab? Hm? PHONE CAMERA CLICKS SCANNER SQUEALS Thank you.
SCANNER SQUEALS Stop staring.
Just go and chat to her.
I'm wasn't staring.
And, anyway, we are chatting.
Look.
No, I mean in person.
This is how the world communicates now, Frank.
But she's literally sitting there.
There's no point hiding behind a screen.
Like you're some big Romeo.
Hey, I've had my moments.
At least I know when I was kissing a girl, I wasn't just typing "X" on a keyboard.
Oh, let me help you.
Right, what were you talking about? Differential data acquisition systems.
Oh, dear.
Try making her laugh.
Ready?Oh, no, no, no.
Ready?No, Frank, you can't send that, honestly.
Honestly, no! Shall we? Whoops.
Frank! HELENA LAUGHS Ooh! A real life LOL! Eh? I think you were right.
Oh.
Words to live by.
About the staff round here not being as happy as they make out.
MACHINERY CLATTERS Oh! See? Oh, come on! Oh, I just want a brew! I think, then, what you want is a short cafe Americano.
I'm not sure why they don't just call it coffee, actually.
What's it got to do with you? Well, she's our resident coffee expert.
Do you want his beans burnt or roasted, Luella? Uh, Dad.
Maybe we should let Ms Shakespeare get on? Oh, right.
Sorry, love.
Worked a machine shop for 30 years, but can't use the coffee maker.
Or much else.
Forosa wouldn't exist without him, though.
Or my mum.
She passed three years ago.
Named the company after her.
"For Rosa.
" Right Clever that, isn't, it eh? "For Rosa.
" His mam.
Good job she wasn't called Janet.
Forjanet.
Forjanet, you know? No recent hirings or firings.
We've got nothing to go on.
We need to think as the mole would.
I'm in deep, too deep.
I'm scared.
Any second, my mask could be torn away.
All right, easy on the improv.
Next thing, you'll be tunnelling under the office.
He is right, though.
Now, what would YOU do if you were the mole? Spider? I'm asking you.
Sorry, I thought you were being rhetorical.
I'd hit the server.
But the server room's a fortress.
I mean, no-one can get in.
Well, where there's a will, there's a way.
We need someone on the inside.
ALL: The big black bug hits the big black bear.
And, finally, the six slick sharks seek sister's simple salmon.
The six slick sharks seek sister's simple salmon.
Excellent! Your audience doesn't stand a chance.
Wow! Thanks there to the newest member of our team Goliath Epsom, performance consultant.
And he's here to help me prepare for the global launch.
Confidence begins in the diaphragm.
If you say so Good news.
Infinite Gold Studios are confirmed for the launch.
Ana, how's the fix progressing? We still have an interface issue on Android phones.
That should've been finished by now.
I'm close.
I told you to prioritise it.
I've been working for the past three weeks on it.
So, plenty of time to be incompetent.
Oi, ease off.
This is a safe space.
We offer opinions here, not abuse.
She should be upset, she failed a set task with a clear deadline.
Actual humans need sleep.
What part of my analysis was incorrect, Helena? Sorry! ANA SOBS BERTIE SIGHS Give the UI payment to Sandeep, and Ifont color="# Excuse me.
I'm leaving.
Before I offer up MY opinion.
Let's move on.
Do we all know the one about the pheasant pluckers? Frank? Huh? I've got it.
What, the mole? No, better than that! New office space.
Hey? It's in the Forosa building, and its got a little kitchenette.
Fit for royalty.
Yeah, that's cos only royals can afford Have you noticed anything? Damp? Ha-ha.
As per madam's instructions, the door is fixed, and the heating is next.
We don't have to leave.
Please, Frank.
It says here it has a world-beating coffee machine.
Oh.
I'll live.
Anyway, listen, Ana DuPont was fired from her last job.
HR mentioned substance issues.
Right, issues.
Drugs? No, they wouldn't tell me.
But maybe someone's trying to take Ana down.
You know, threaten to expose her druggie past unless she helps them take down Forosa? Bit thin? Well, it's the only lead we've got.
No! Yes! Good game.
Thank you, sir.
Mwah, mwah.
Congratulations.
Now, where do you think she's off to? That's the third time today.
Judas! Pardon me? FIRE ALARM RINGS OK, everyone, this isn't a drill.
Outside, please.
Should we go? I'd rather my last role wasn't Man Burning To Death While Watching Server.
RECORDED: Bertie Tark.
How could you flirt with the love of my life, Sebastian? It wasn't flirting! Oh, yeah, it was banter! Yeah, Frank filled me in on the ways of wooing women.
I see you, Jezebel.
It is the green-ey'd monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on.
Ooh.
What's this? They're going for the server! Agh! ALERTS BEEPING What an absolute failure.
We'll be set back weeks.
Don't worry, We figured this might happen.
Let's show him.
All your data was backed-up on my own server.
I've already got Dean up and running.
Well, that won't matter if you can't stop the mole from wreaking more chaos.
Time for an instant replay.
Now, your average PI would be out of luck.
But, wait, what's this? A hidden camera, you cry? Bertie, meet contestant number one.
And were you somehow claiming to be an above average PI? There must be something here.
There'd better be.
There is, those shoes.
I've seen those shoes before.
That That's our You are not supposed to take that out the office.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Oh.
Who is it? Sorry, Spidey.
BERTIE: I want to know why! You've screwed everyone here! HELENA: If you have to ask, you're blind to what's been going on! Don't blame anyone else! How about we get it all out in the open, eh, boss?! Have you fired her yet? You know what, Dean? How about I stick my dismissal up your Helena! If you have any respect left for this family, please, don't make it any harder.
I'll clear out my desk.
Don't let him drag you down.
You only ever had one idea.
Shame.
DISTANT SCREAM Nefi blw You know what, Frank? You should have a disclaimer on your website saying, "Cases may include dead bodies.
" You're just jealous cos I got here first.
Yeah, well, it's mine now.
Yeah, all yours.
I just came to pick up a cheque.
Oh, and to tell you he died from a blow to the back of the head.
Any other remarkable insights for me? Like where the murder weapon is? Ask Helena.
We don't know it was her! You caught her red-handed smashing up my work! Now the one person I needed most is gone.
Who's Helena? One of the employees.
Caught sabotaging my company.
Our company.
Worth a visit.
All you'll find is an innocent woman with perfect, glossy hair.
Tell him, Frank.
Come back.
Honestly, she's innocent! ELECTRICITY ZAPS Frank! The plug socket just zapped me.
Right, that is it.
We are not staying in this deathtrap.
It's not that bad.
The office just tried to electrocute me.
We'll lose our footfall.
Frank, I don't understand this.
You are usually the first person to jump at a good deal.
This office has been good to us for three years.
Why change it? Because there's something better.
What could be better than this? This.
SEBASTIAN: We have a visitor! Helena isn't the murderer.
You see? Footfall.
Spider, what the police do isn't up to us.
Oh, don't give me that.
You're always sticking your nose in.
Spider, she used you.
Why'd you want to help her? I don't know.
My stomach is short-circuiting and my CPU's in overdrive.
I don't care that she used me.
I'm begging you.
Help her.
We just have a few questions.
I've spent the morning doing that with the police, thanks to you.
Now I can't leave town.
Keeler's trying to prove you did it, and we just want to prove that you didn't.
Look, I hated Dean, but I'd never kill him.
But why disrupt the app launch? Because that app is mine.
I pitched it to Bertie and Dean years ago.
What, they stole it?Yeah.
Well, no, not exactly.
I I was young, all right? And Dean was this super-smart coding savant.
So, you were star-struck.
Before I know it, Bertie's got me signing contracts.
I didn't realise I'd end up as Dean's skivvy.
So, you switched sides? I'm on my side.
I made a deal with a rival, gave them everything I could.
But it wasn't enough.
Forosa was launching too soon.
So, you bashed up the server, but you stopped short of doing the same to Dean? It's not just me, you know.
Anyone at Forosa could have snapped.
Ana! Bertie's dad! It's the crunch.
The crunch? Unpaid overtime, working all hours, no social life.
We give everything and we accept it because, hey, look at the pay, the perks.
No-one wants to admit Bertie and Dean are running a high-end sweat shop.
And when the slaves have had enough of their masters Exactly.
The streets run red.
But, you know, not because of me.
That'll set us back two hours.
I'm sorry, Bertie.
No, I don't need sorry! I need you to prove to Dean, may he rest, that you have what it takes.
Oh, hi.
Oh, Ana? Forgot something? Hi.
No, just wanted a quick chat with Ana and your dad.
Why? You've already found the mole.
Nothing for you to worry about.
Just tying up a few loose ends, you know.
We know you're busy.
We're all busy, I'm afraid.
Yeah, where is your dad? I didn't think he'd want to miss your big moment.
Oh, uh We went out for a meal last night.
Glass of red too many, perhaps.
I'm sure he'll be here later.
Well, thanks again.
Oh, OK, yes.
Yes, sorry Bye.
Listen, I've got a satellite navigation! I don't need you, as well.
So, just one thing at a time, Frank.
Look, it says it's down here.
Go back.
Right.
Nobody lives in a field! Are you sure this is the right address? Yeah.
Yeah, this is what it says.
Your sat nav's rubbish.
I know, it often leads me to a f I mean, it doesn't exactly look like the home of a company vice president, does it? Get out of it, you hooligans! Nice to see you too, Mr Tark.
What do you two want? You could start by putting the bat down.
Depends what you're doing here.
We want to talk to you about Dean.
Helena said you were one of the last people to see him alive on the night of he was murdered.
I already told that copper.
I was out having dinner with my son.
Why are you snooping round here? Do you make a habit of solving problems with a bat? I've had these kids coming round, mucking about.
Chucking eggs at the van.
You could always move.
You know, exec position like yours must be worth a bob or two.
Or not.
Yeah.
Maybe Bertie's not looking after his dad as much as we think.
Coffee? Yes.
I'll drive, you pay.
What? Who needs a coffee machine, anyway? Me, cos you'd get one of these every day for free.
There you are.
I've got news on Tark Senior's finances.
Uh, who got the news? Who dug into those sealed records? I was instrumental.
Yeah, well, does make a nice cup of tea, your lothario.
It was one game of ping-pong.
Any time today? Jacob and Rosa gave all their money to their son.
They sold their house, emptied their savings and cashed in their pensions.
What, so, that whole office was funded by Jacob and his wife? Do you think Jacob murdered Dean to get at his own son? - You know, tear him down? - PHONE PINGS Why would he do that after a lifetime of looking after him? We need to talk to Bertie's dad.
Helena's under siege.
Ana's there trying to kick down the door.
Spider.
It's that way.
I'll make sure Romeo doesn't make things.
.
worse!I'm coming, H! I suppose that leaves me to go and see Jacob.
Arrest her! She killed Dean! She's high! She's not thinking straight.
Put the weapon .
.
down?I'm coming, H! I'm here! I'm here! Do not cross the police cordon! Eh? What cordon? The tape hasn't arrived yet.
But it's still an anticipatory police line.
AMPLIFIED: Put the weapon down.
What? He said put the scissors down.
I'll handle this, Frank! Oh! Hey, take me.
I'd be a much better hostage.
I don't eat much.
The anticipatory line! Yeah, let us know when it arrives.
Look, she's your friend.
Do you really think she could kill someone? But she she turned on the company.
She had to.
Dean left her no choice.
Does that sound familiar? But No, she took him out.
I didn't! But I should have.
Oh, don't make it worse.
I should have.
He was toxic.
Had you chasing after his whims and thanking him for the privilege.
He did the same to me! No, it it's not true.
I'd tell myself he's a genius! But he was just a sad little man getting rich off OUR talent.
What I regret most was letting it happen to you.
I'm so sorry! Let's move in.
Go, go! Move in.
Come on! Go.
Move! Uh, hello.
Haven't you have anything better to do? Look, we know.
We know about the house and the savings.
We know that you and your wife sacrificed everything for Bertie.
You wouldn't understand.
No, I don't.
I don't understand how he could leave you here with nothing.
He said we'd get it all back.
And a lot more, too.
How many times did you hear him say that? I'm late for the launch.
Bertie's using you.
That company might be called "For Rosa," but it's not, is it? It's all for him.
When we lost his mum I asked Bertie if I could havesome time to mourn.
He gave me three days off.
After everything she done for him, hm? My sweet girl.
I'm so sorry.
Do you know what really happened the night that Dean was killed? Yes.
I wasn't with Bertie.
I was here on my own.
And did he make you lie to the police? I should have said no.
But I could never refuse him anything.
If Bertie wasn't with you, who was he with? Sorry, you can find Bertie's movements on the night Dean died just from here? I'm already into Bertram's mobile.
Accessing location history now.
Scary.
Why? What, you got something to hide? I am not the problem with Helena.
You are.
Have you actually told her how you feel? It's kind of hard to do without your face.
Or a way with words.
Do you know what I mean? SEBASTIAN SNORTS I Yeah Ah, here we go.
All of Bertie's movements, recorded by his phone.
Check the night of the murder.
Righty-oh.
He went out to Falstaff Woods, and then home.
Evening jog? What's his route on other nights? Hm, right, he took a different way home the day before.
Much more direct.
As far as I can see, his usual route home goes nowhere near the woods.
And why choose that night to go for a stroll? Oh.
While you're here, there's one or two RSC producers I'd love to bump into on their way home.
Frank, are you familiar with Falstaff Woods? What was he doing out here? I don't know.
I used to ride here with my friends when I was younger.
Oh, yeah? I arrested a few indecent teens around here for .
.
scaring away the squirrels.
LUELLA LAUGHS Please.
I've got more class, thank you.
Yeah, what were you doing, then, eh? Scrumping for apples? Well, according to Sebastian, this is it.
Hm See anything? Pile of leaves.
Ooh, pile of leaves in a forest! I trained you well! Oh.
Pile of leaves in a forest.
I trained you well.
Mm.
Well, go and get the spade.
You've got a lot of digging to do.
So, what am I looking at? A vacuum cleaner.
You know, fly-tipping is way below my pay grade.
That thing killed Dean Parolles.
You bought me out here for a homicidal home appliance? You got a gang of washing machines round the corner waiting to jump us, have you? Oh, give me a spoon to feed him, will you? That is Dean's vacuum cleaner.
It's dented and covered in blood.
And Bertie Tark drove here the night of his murder.
I mean, we can wait while you Ah! Ah! Ah! All right, let's go and arrest Tark, then.
Well, actually, we have a better idea.
Great job, gang.
Right go get some rest.
You deserve it.
Well done, well done.
Sandeep.
Yes Yes.
Woo! Come on, Dad.
We did it.
We won.
You could try being more chipper.
I just wish your mother was here, that's all.
Well, she's looking down on us, proud.
Now how's my tie?font color="#00ffffff" Mr Tark? Yeah? Junior, I mean.
Can I have a word, please? Bit busy right now.
I'm here to help you hoover up your loose ends.
Just give us a few minutes.
In fact, everyone, could you all just clear out for me, please.
Just want a moment with the app.
Dad, I'll have a chai latte, triple shot.
Start talking.
Everything that happened with Dean, I know it was you.
You've got five seconds to tell me how you've come by that lie, before I get my dad to start pulling legs off a spider.
I erm Erm Look he's testing you.
Tell him there's a secret camera.
I installed a secret camera.
I've got it all on tape.
Got what? You really think you can shake me down? Don't take the bait.
Oh, I've got evidence.
Prove it.
Show me.
There's no evidence.
It's what's called a ruse.
Show me the footage.
Hang on.
Elaborate.
Hang on, please? Where do you find these idiots? Shhh.
SHHHHH.
What? Oh, for the love of god.
Spider, just act tough.
I said shhhh ut up or your whole family are dead.
Too tough.
Tell him you want 20% of the company to keep quiet.
I want 20% of Forosa to keep my mouth shut.
What's to stop you giving a copy to those PIs of yours? Oh, I'm no PI.
I'm a hacker.
A loner.
I'm no PI.
I'm a hacker.
A loner.
Selfish, unloved.
I'm selfish, unloved.
Sad, pathetic.
All right, steady on.
I mean, so what's it to be? 20's too high.
I can do ten.
Take your phone out of your pocket and tell him 20, it's 20.
No, no, no.
20.
I want 20.
One for every minute it takes for the police to arrive.
One for every minute it takes the police to arrive, boyo.
OK.
OK.
OK.
I didn't mean to do it, Spider.
You know how he was, right? Never giving an inch, never caring about anyone.
I can't do this without Helena.
Are you serious? The launch is in two days.
Well, push it.
We can't.
We're running on empty.
We have put everything in to get us this far.
You do realise that? Managing HR and finances is your problem, not mine.
My problem is you.
I gave you all this and you promised you'd deliver.
But then you fired Helena.
And whose fault was that? I can't talk to you when you're like this.
HE CHUCKLES 20%.
Battery 20%.
Battery 20%.
Battery 20% Battery battery.
Battery.
Why'd you ditch the vacuum? That's what they do in the movies.
Get rid of the murder weapon.
Not as easy as it looks.
You've got serious anger issues.
Just show me the footage! I think your confession's all we need.
Thank you, Mr Tark.
What about my launch? I'm afraid you'll be missing that, on account of all that murdering.
Nicely done.
You're a natural.
I prefer being the man in the van.
Can I have a moment with my son, please? You've got to help me, Dad.
Please.
No, son, I'm sorry.
What you've become, if your mother were alive now, she'd She'd be ashamed of both of us.
Hello, boss.
I've finished updating the firewalls.
They're as tight as a dwarven king's purse-strings.
Too nerdy.
What I meant to say was, "Not even a firewall could keep me from seeing "how great your hair looks today.
" Thanks? Listen, can I just say sorry again for abusing our friendship.
I feel bad about it.
Don't worry, I know you were desperate.
Not that you needed saving.
You're a strong, confident woman.
OK.
I spoke to Bertie's lawyers.
He's going to take a cut of the profits but the app's all mine again.
Amazing.
You're strong and crafty.
"Crafty"? You make it sound like Blue Peter.
Do you know what, this isn't working? Hey, that was really good stuff.
What I meant to say was, you know when you've played Battle Royale online, and you can fight a dozen rounds without a win.
And then one day you line-up your sights and everything goes right.
You can't explain it, it just, there it is.
Well, that's how I feel about you, H.
You're my perfect killstreak.
You're very sweet.
And that's been kind of obvious since we met, but Honestly, say no more.
I wasn't expecting anything.
I just had to tell you.
I've got one shot at running this company, right? I can't date an employee.
Fair enough.
So, you're fired.
Drinks at eight? Say again? I'm asking you out, Cariad.
Well, I'd better go and clear my desk, then.
Thanks, guys.
That was beautiful.
Our work here is done.
Come on, let's get back to the office and start packing.
We've worked out why you don't want to move.
I've told you why.
Yeah, we see through your excuses.
We know deep down, it's because the office is our place.
It's called emotional attachment.
Don't be daft.
Look, he's practically welling up.
Ah, you big softie.
I am not emotionally attached to our office.
Ahhh.
"Ours," see? There you go because it's where the magic happens.
Hanky Look, I wouldn't be your co-detective, and your best friend, if I ignored your feelings and therefore we are happy to stay.
But with conditions.
Such as? It's double-sided.
And meet the newest addition to the office.
Well, listen, I can see how much it means to you two to stay put, so I am prepared to do that for you.
Thanks for the coffee maker.
Now we've got a new team barista, do we still need him? We will see how long the new boy lasts.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode