Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s04e04 Episode Script
Most Wicked Speed
LAUGHTER
SIRENS WAIL
Police!
Police!
Stay where you are!
Don't move!
DOORS CREAK OPEN
You want to tell us
what you're doing here?
Red-handed.
Joseph Venice, I'm arresting you for suspicion of murder.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.
Get me Shakespeare and Hathaway.
What's the stopping distance for 30mph? About six car lengths.
I'm afraid I need the answer in feet.
I'll give you my feet in a minute! And me boot.
Right up your jacksie.
You need to take this seriously, Francis.
I've been driving since you were a funny look in your dad's good eye.
Besides, I've been driving with Lu for the past couple of years.
So I've seen exactly what bad driving looks like.
Cheek.
All right, tell me this.
Can you drive like a normal person though, or do you have to drive everywhere like the police? What does that even mean? You know, you have to drive around going, "Wooo, woooo, wooo, wooo!" And smashing through stacks of cardboard boxes.
Yeah.
/fo If you think cops all drive like Starsky and Hutch, you ought to see Keeler drive.
I remember once, we were chasing a stolen milk float.
He could hardly keep up! He's such an idiot.
Remind me how long your driving ban lasts.
Until today.
I'm going to ace this test, and I'm going to be back on the road before you know it.
Eat my dust.
I wouldn't be so sure of that.
I'll be needing you two down the station.
Which two? Not you.
Phew.
Why? To help me with some enquiries.
Sorry, no.
We're a meeting a client in about five minutes.
I can come back with uniforms, a warrant, we could search the place.
I'm sure that'll look good for your little business.
You could at least tell us what this is all about.
Murder.
And the killer's asking for you two.
You do know, if I find out you're in cahoots with him, I'm sending you both upriver.
Since when did you find anything out without our help, hmm? Follow me.
Mr Venice? Joe.
Squares start with "Mr Venice".
Cats like you can call me Joe.
Oh, right, thank you.
I'm Lu, this is Frank.
And we've got a few questions for you.
Oh, I bet you do! Like, who are you? And what have me and Lu got to do with any of this? I'll cut to the chase.
I'm an investigator, like you.
Most of the time, I operate in LA.
That's Los Angeles.
Hollywood, if you want to get into specifics.
Ooh.
That's in Los Angeles.
Yes, I know.
OK.
Normally, it's just fixing things for stars and studios.
Scandals and snooping.
You dig? We dig.
You're a long way from home.
I go where the work takes me.
This is the skinny - I've been on the trail of a car.
Well, my mate's doing up an old camper van if you fancy.
No, no.
The producer I work for, well, he's trying to complete his collection.
And there's this missing chariot, used to belong to a star.
We're talking a Hollywood all-timer, the real deal.
Oh, right! What, like Brad Pitt? Steve McQueen? Bradley Cooper? Paul Newman? Madonna! John Wayne? Can't say.
Look her up.
The Mistress Quickly.
Tricked out in the engine.
A real beast.
Now, I've gone from auction to backstreet seller, making my way along the line, for three years.
And the trail led you here? End of the rainbow, baby.
This car's changed hands more often than a dollar bill.
And then finally, today, I'm on my way to meet the man who says he knows where she is, Mr Andy Stern.
A second-rate mechanic.
Dead as the pharaohs when I found him.
Someone took a wrench and loosened his nut.
I thought about splitting, but maybe the man kept a note.
Something I could go on.
Didn't look too cool when the cops came in and collared me.
And that's where we come in.
It's a mess, all right.
But you, me, we're gumshoes.
There's a code.
We're brothers and sisters.
If you can land the big fish With the Mistress Quickly.
.
.
And get me off the hook, there's a finder's fee in it.
10%.
I'm sorry, we've already got a really full caseload.
Car's been valued at $150,000.
Never let it be said that Frank Hathaway would let down a fellow sleuth in need.
Read me that number-plate over there.
Er D one.
Oh, unlucky.
Oh "Do one".
Very witty! I thought so.
So, how does a big-time LA detective hear about you anyway? We've done work for soap stars, rock gods The in-crowd know us by name and reputation.
But hire him instead? Well, he does have the slight advantage of actually living in Hollywood, actually! Well, for now anyway.
For now? Picture this.
Shakespeare and Hathaway, Los Angeles! Yes, well, while you have been dreaming about La La Land, some of us have actually been doing some digging.
Andy Stern.
Before he was a mechanic, he was a stock car racer.
Oh, great.
Those things are like demolition derbies.
I mean, if he had a hold of this Mistress Quickly and raced her, he'd have welded the doors shut, smashed her to smithereens.
He had some team-mates.
Another mechanic, Portia Dane, and a driver, Reece Alonso.
Greasy Reece Alonso.
I might have known.
When I was in the police, we had him in our sights for armed robbery, but couldn't make it stick.
Hence the name, greasy Reece, see? Ah.
He runs a driving school now.
If he saw me, he'd run a mile.
Tell you what, get Lu to talk to him.
I'll chase up this Portia instead.
She has a garage in the same estate as Andy.
Maybe she saw something.
As long as it's wasn't Joe Venice whacking a guy with a wrench.
A spanner.
AMERICAN ACCENT: I'm American.
It's a wrench.
Oh, is that American, is it? Yes, it is.
I won the dialect medal at RADA.
That is Nebraska.
Jason Chase! Well, well, well.
It's been a while.
Who are you? Frank Hathaway.
I'm Yeah, sorry, Frank.
I need to go.
You don't have to go on my account.
If he says he has to go, he has to go.
Thanks for the tea.
So, what do you want, Hank? Oh, no, I'm Frank, not Hank.
Hank Hathaway! Sounds like a Country and Western singer.
I'm a private investigator.
Do you mind me asking how you know Jason? Yeah, he's been hanging around the garages, doing odd jobs and things.
How do you know him? I used to be in the police force.
Been a lot of them about today.
So, are you here to talk about Jason Chase, or about the murder over there? You used to race with the deceased, am I right? Not racing, not as such.
I did repairs for him.
I was in the pit-stop, while they were out getting all the glory.
That'd be Andy Stern and Reece Alonso? Now you're asking questions you know the answers to! You don't seem very upset about what happened.
Oh, we weren't close.
His garage is only there.
Well, there's all kinds of gear-heads along here.
Andy and I worked together, but it's not like we were friends or anything.
What about Jason Chase, then? I mean, if he's been hanging around, do you think he saw anything? No.
And I don't think he wanted to talk to you.
What about you? You wouldn't be using this for illegal street racing, would you? I can't control what people do with these cars after I've finished with them.
See anything you like? Not really my style.
Yeah.
You're more of a muscle-car sort, eh? Something big and powerful and classic.
Speaking of muscle-cars, you didn't see Andy working on anything like that, did you? This mythical missing car? No, we never had it.
I did all the buying for the team and if we'd have laid our hands on an engine like that, we'd have raced it.
If you ask me, I'd say Andy was trying it on.
Hoping to con a bit of money out of that detective.
If the Yank found out he was being strung along LOUD WHIRRING BEEPING Joe Venice.
Is that your real name? Is that your real moustache? I ask the questions round here.
I don't answer them.
Go on, then.
I asked you a question.
That was a statement.
You said, "I ask the questions round here.
I don't answer them.
" Are you trying to be clever? I am.
I recommend it.
I've got your fingerprints on the control of hydraulic lift.
I've got the victim's blood on your sleeves.
So, tell me, which of us looks like the stupid one now? Honest answer? I'm warning you.
Yes.
Yes, what? Yes, Joe Venice is my real name.
Good luck on the test, kiddo.
Knock 'em dead.
Oh! Not the best advice for a driving test.
I give all my best advice in the front seat.
I can book you in for a session if you'd like, Miss? Lu.
Lu Shakespeare.
Not Miss Lu.
Miss Shakespeare.
And how can I help you, Miss Shakespeare? Yes.
That would be Andy Stern.
Um, you used to be partners? I mean not partners, partners.
Well, you used to race together.
Is that right? Yeah, I heard the news.
Shocking.
Who could do such a thing? Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.
Oh, we were rivals once.
But I left that world behind me a long time ago.
Not that long ago, mind you.
No, clearly not.
I don't suppose you'd know why anyone would want to Kill him? No.
No idea.
One more little question, if that's all right? Is that all right? Have you ever seen that car? Yes.
I think Portia Dane, our mechanic, she bought one like that for peanuts at some off-the-books auction.
We were all excited to see it race, but when we tried it, it was bust.
Slick on the outside, but nothing under the hood.
Oh.
Mm.
Cars are like lovers.
It's what's on the inside that matters.
You should see how I make this purr.
Yeah, that would be lovely.
Erm Just one last thing.
Do you know what happened to the car? Got rid.
Sold for parts.
I mean, chances are it's in pieces now.
What's that got to do with Andy? We don't know really, it's just something we're looking into.
Betty.
Betty Ceres.
She's someone who had it in for Andy.
Oh? Do you know why? She's this ex-addict.
Used to be a barmaid at our local, does tattoos now, I think.
Blamed Andy for some crash.
Left her with this limp.
I mean, she hated him for it.
Oh, right, Betty Ceres.
Yeah.
I'm sure that's got more to do with Andy croaking it than some missing car.
Yes, I'm sure it has.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
So, one of them is lying.
Or, they both are.
Portia thinks Andy was running a con.
Reckons he pushed Joe too far.
Reece said there was a tattoo artist, Betty Ceres, and she had it in for Andy.
Well, we'd better talk to her, then.
Mm.
There is something else we have to consider.
Oh, yeah? Maybe the police might have the right man.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, yeah.
SHOP BELL RINGS Betty Ceres? Yeah? I'm Frank Hathaway.
I'm a private investigator.
Could I ask you a few questions about Andy Stern? Why would I want to say anything about him? Well, you didn't get along.
He did this 20 years ago.
How did it happen? Was walking home from work.
He was in some street race.
He must have thought if he didn't stop, I wouldn't know it was him.
Did you call the police? Look, what's all this about? Andy Stern's been murdered.
You think this has got something to do with me.
No, no, I'm just trying to understand a bit more about the victim.
Yeah, well .
.
I did go to the police, they didn't believe me.
No-one stuck up for me.
Much like every other day in my life.
Look, I'm not with the police.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, you can start by leaving me alone.
Well, look, if you change your mind Jason! We meet again.
Jason? Jason! This is why I need a car.
Do you think it could be a coincidence? Not with Jason Chase.
How do you know him? Ahhh, this and that.
Mostly bad.
Petty theft, joyriding He was a bit of a boy-racer.
A wrong'un, then.
Could he have graduated to murder? I hope not.
I mean, he's been in a lot of trouble, yeah, but he's been in and out of care, no-one to look after him.
But, if he's a joyrider, then he could have stolen our car we're after.
But why stick about? Wouldn't you just make a speedy getaway? Mm.
Speedy getaway Look up, "Post Office robbery, Christmas 2003.
" Oh, didn't you say Reece was involved in an armed robbery? Ah! Here we go.
Headline - "Post-haste! "Post Office robbers escape with Christmas takings.
" Post-haste.
Ha! I bet they were pleased with that one! Get on with it, will you? Blah blah blah.
Ah! "Witnesses described the getaway car as 'American', "and was driven with 'great speed and skill'".
I knew it! Yeah, well, that's not very bright, is it? Using a flash car like that.
Exactly.
They'd have to get rid of it straight away! Yeah, you'd have to sell it or scrap it.
Reece had an alibi.
Maybe we're looking at the wrong racer.
Maybe Andy was the wheelman.
Hang on a minute, are we solving one of your old cases here, or are we trying to find The Mistress Quickly? Ahem.
And trying to solve a murder, and trying to keep your client out of prison! And all of that.
We need to lean on Reece properly.
What do you mean "properly"? Well, because you were so immune to his charms last time.
Hmm? Well Let's see if Mr Alonso is as straight as he makes out.
Hello, Reece.
Nice wheels.
Frank Hathaway.
You know, I'd like to catch up, but Won't take long.
Just tell us what's happened to the missing car.
Never existed.
What? You said it was probably sold for scrap metal.
I was thinking of something else.
Wires crossed.
Are you in a hurry, are you? You know, last I heard, you weren't police any more.
Is that right? What about you? Still up to your old tricks, are you? Still in the game? ENGINE STUTTERS Not much of a purr, is it? ENGINE STARTS Ah! If you'd like to speak to my secretary, I'm sure she can arrange an appointment.
But if you'll excuse me, I've an important client to meet.
You know, if Reece really did use that car for a robbery Who got him the car in the first place? I knew! I knew! Do you ever actually do any work for us? You should be revising! You won't make it in LA if you can't drive.
Revision? Pah.
I know it off by heart.
Uh-uh.
Quarter past nine.
What? It's not ten to two.
It's quarter past nine.
Since when? Since airbags.
Well, I'm not listening to you anyway.
There's only one place you drive me, that's up the wall.
HORN BLARES Actually, my instructor said I was the best she'd ever passed.
Then why do we never see you drive, then? I couldn't possibly talk about it.
OK.
Just as I was leaving the examination centre, a man, an idiot, stepped straight into the road.
Did you run him over? No! I performed an expert emergency stop.
And then I became a monster.
What, you, with road rage?! I didn't recognise myself.
After that, I swore I'd never drive again.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, have you guys actually done any work on this case, or are you just Yes.
So this might be something.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA "Rival Racers to Settle Score".
It says here that, after finishing in joint first place, Andy Stern and Reece Alonso said they would "decide who was fastest, one way or another".
So? This is from 2002, when Betty was injured in her accident? So, the rematch could have been the illegal street race.
Which would mean Andy and Reece were to blame.
How does this tie in to Jason? If you keep bumping into him, why not just ask? Stop in the name of the law! Ahh! Frank! Hey! Don't make me cross.
Get it? Get it? No.
Just, no.
Shall we have a chat? Do I have a choice? Come on.
I'm not even going to mention the disguise.
I haven't done anything.
Yet.
It's the second time I've caught you hanging around that tattoo parlour.
I thought you'd stopped all that.
Aren't you be supposed to be looking for Andy's killer, or something? What makes you think the police haven't done that? There's only two people who'd know the police have got the wrong man.
You're either a witness, or you're the I didn't do it.
All right? You'll have to try a bit harder than that to convince me.
I want to help you.
But you have to trust me.
Jason? Listen .
.
I found the body, before the Yank turned up.
But then I pegged it.
So Joe Venice is innocent? Why didn't you tell the police that?! Oh, yeah, so they can pin it on me! I don't want to be in the frame either.
If they've not got a suspect, then they'll So, did you know Betty, then? The tattooist.
Yeah, she had it in for Andy.
Hated him.
Yeah, but we don't know she did it.
HE SIGHS LOUDLY It's such a mess, is all this.
Is she after the car as well? The Mistress Quickly.
What? How do you know? Ahhhh! Is this what this is all about? Finding a car? Do you know where it is? My buddy's been murdered, and all you care about is some old car! That old car is worth thousands.
Whoever killed Andy, might be after After a fortune, you mean? Like you.
Oh, Portia was right.
I can't trust anyone.
Jason.
If you know something that might help, this is a murder investigation.
It's a treasure hunt.
It's either me or the police.
Yeah, well.
That's up to you, innit, Frankie? Jason.
What now?! You forgot your Oh.
Thank you.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Oh, hi.
Listen, we need to look up Betty's place again.
I've a feeling bad tats aren't the only thing she covers up.
Oh, OK.
What have you got? Well, nothing.
You asked me to ring you to remind you.
Remind me what? You've got a driving test, right now! AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey.
I'm looking for some sin on my skin.
We do tattoos, and tattoo removal.
Hit me up with some recommendos, daddio.
I can show you my portfolio.
Things I've already done.
Whoa! Tell me about this one, dollface.
It's a star.
Cool, man.
Cool.
OK, er, you! You You, you You! You You! I know you.
You're no lollipop man.
You're Andy's friend, Jason.
Did you? Did you? CLATTERING Don't mind me, brother.
Ahhh! Ahhhh.
Sorry.
Wrong Wrong number.
Shop.
Wrong shop.
I needed .
.
bacon.
Sorry I'm late.
We can make up for lost time on the road, eh? Brummm! Brmmmm, owww! I-I'll ride shotgun.
Never mind.
I'll drive.
It's not the National Gallery! Are you going to choose something, or what? Absolutely not.
It's just so Per-ma-nent.
Baby.
Look, I've just about had enough of weirdos pestering me today.
SHOP BELL RINGS Betty? Hey.
Do you remember me? Yeah, I remember you.
I'm looking for Jason.
Andy's mate.
I think he might have been heading here.
What is going on? Honestly.
I'm fed up of strangers traipsing in and out of here, interrupting my trade.
I mean, detectives, weirdos Detectives? This murder.
That's probably why that Jason lad came here, but it's nothing to do with me.
I think you might be in danger here.
You can't trust anyone.
We're closing.
I think I'm going to try something in Biro first, see if I really dig it.
So, show us what you got.
Ah, bupkis, baby.
Ohh! Listen, Portia Dane just rushed in, and told Betty her life might be in danger.
Really? From who? They hustled me out before I could hear.
But, Jason was in earlier, and he seemed sort of angry with Betty.
So my guess is maybe him.
Hang on.
If Portia's in there, then she's not in the garage.
So? So, we're looking for a car, and that's where people keep them! Ahh! Call Frank.
Tell him what you found out.
I'll just walk then, shall I? PHONE RINGS So, what's the verdict? Hello? Hello? SHUTTER MECHANISM WHIRS You'll be safe here.
When I've got hold of him, I'll sort this out, once and for all.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Did you pass? No more Mini.
He-he-he! Hey, bravo! Well, Lu told me to report back on the tattoo shop.
And? Betty's into motors.
Cars inked up and down her arms.
Anything else? Yes.
Er, a star, a wolf, and a date - 03/03/83.
I don't mean tattoos! I mean, did you find out anything else? Oh.
Yes, I did.
Your friend Jason came rushing in, and then rushed out.
And then it was Portia, saying Betty's life was in danger, and the two of them left shortly after that.
What, together? Yes.
Portia made it sound like Jason might be dangerous.
Jason? Wait.
Give me that date again.
03/03/83.
Oh, no.
What? I've got a bad feeling this is a trap.
PHONE BEEPS And Lu's caught right in the middle of it.
Hey! Hang on, hang on.
Stop! Stop! Move! It's an emergency.
I am commandeering the vehicle.
What are you doing?! Come on, come on.
Pick up.
Why are you inviting him here if he's a danger to me? TOOL CLATTERS NOISILY What the hell's going on? Hi.
Erm .
.
nice place.
Come on.
Come on! - What are you doing?! - HORN TOOTS TYRES SCREECH HORN BLARES Oi, Jason! What do you want now? Has she called? What? Has anyone called asking you to go anywhere? I don't know.
I turned me phone off, didn't I? Didn't want any of you lot tracking me.
Your disguise is a luminous yellow coat and you're holding an 8ft lollipop.
Yeah, very good, but I'm not asking you for tips, all right? Look, I need you to come with me.
That's not covered by my insurance.
This is an emergency! And stop messing around with the pedals on your side.
Look, I'm sorry if I was I'm sorry if I didn't show enough concern before.
But this is not about a car.
It's about a murder, and it's about keeping you, and the people you love, safe.
I mean it.
I've worked it all out.
Let me help you.
Look, I want you to call the police and tell them Frank Hathaway has stolen your car, and taken you hostage.
That way they'll come much quicker.
Fine.
Well, come on then! What are you doing? Jason! Just there Lovely.
Right, yeah Ready when you are.
No, no.
We're not police.
But we have a licence.
We've got an office and everything.
Another private detective? Is this what you lot do, then, eh? Crawl around, trying to listen in? No! Well, not so much crawling.
Yeah, sometimes we do.
You find anything out, did you? Dig up any dirt? Get what you wanted? I think we've got off on the wrong foot here.
I'm not accusing anybody Accusing of what? What did you find, detective? What did you solve? What the hell are you doing with that? Probably defending herself.
After all, you were planning on taking her hostage.
Hostage?! What on earth for? The missing car.
What missing car? I don't know anything about a missing car.
Well.
Maybe this will help explain.
Now, I'm no detective, but that doesn't look like a rare American hot-rod to me.
No.
But it is Reece Alonso's car.
And where is he right now, huh? KNOCKING SHE TAPS TAPPING IS RETURNED Reece! Oh, my! Somebody hit me from behind.
Frankie? What's going on? When you talked to me this morning, you'd already told Portia you'd seen Andy's body, hadn't you? You knew he was a potential witness.
You also knew about his connection to Andy.
But he ran off before you could find out more about The Mistress Quickly.
That's a stretch.
And you told Betty that Jason was a danger to her.
Why did you do that? What's he going to do?! Lead her to the car.
After Jason ran off and hid, she needed to find a hostage to draw him out.
You.
That doesn't make sense.
I mean, I barely know him.
Yeah, but he knows you, don't you? Betty's tattoo.
When did you first notice it? She She came round arguing with Andy.
I saw it then.
I've booked you in so many times, I know it off by heart.
03/03/83.
It's my birthday.
You? You're my You're my son? You're my son! You're my son.
I didn't know what to do.
I knew that it was Andy who'd injured you.
So I thought maybe you'd finally got your revenge, so I disguised myself so I could keep an eye on things.
Protect you if I had to.
Touching as this all is, it's got nothing to do with me.
You needed to find Jason.
You knew he was a witness, but when he felt safe talking to you this morning, he couldn't have suspected you.
But what else was so important about him? Was it because he also knew where Andy kept the car? You? You said you cared.
I told you everything, about my mum, about finding Andy's body I thought you were going to help me.
Andy was my mate.
He was a crook! He was going to sell that car and leave you nothing.
No! No, no, no, no.
Andy wouldn't do that.
No, we were going to work on it together.
Our little project.
No, Andy weren't going to sell it.
You believe that? Andy was a fool.
I told him to get rid of that car after the robberies.
It was evidence that could lead straight back to us, but he kept it! So you killed him? Andy was an idiot, but he was our mate! Was he? That car was ours.
Did he tell either of us when he found out what it was worth? No.
He was going to rob us! How dare he?! You're a cheat and a liar and a fraud! How dare you?! I didn't plan it.
I was so angry to realise that Andy kept that car.
The danger that he'd put me in.
All right.
But why hit me over the head? To eliminate the competition, is that right? Because you You were the only other person who knew about the car and the robberies.
And I bet it was helpful that it was you and Andy in the race that injured Betty because, with you gone, that was a motive.
Why I Whoa, Mum! TYRES SCREECH Should have checked her blind-spot.
Reece was the driver on all the Post Office robberies.
I can testify to that.
Portia.
What are you doing? I'm not going down for all this on my own.
All right.
Nick him as well! I'm sorry for doubting you.
It's not like I ever gained your trust, is it? The mother you never knew.
You weren't well.
I can't blame you for that.
Sorry I rushed your reunion.
That's all right, Frankie.
I mean, you were helping.
It's everyone else that ruined things.
And all for a car.
Yeah.
Between me and you, I wouldn't mention the car to the coppers.
Jason, I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to find you, but I know.
I was scared too.
I don't know where to start.
Probably not with us watching you, actually.
Sorry.
Come on, Frank.
Not yet.
Oh, what now? Solving a murder and a series of robberies not good enough for you? Yeah, right heap of paperwork you've left me with.
Brilliant.
But there is one perk.
Oh! Driving without due care and attention.
Furious driving, dangerous driving.
Exceeding passenger vehicle speed limit.
Aggravated taking of a vehicle.
And finally, leaving a vehicle in a dangerous position.
You can't do that! Dunno Looks like I just did.
Oh, wow.
Is that her? I'll ask her.
Nicely.
You do know that it wasn't that I didn't want you? You were the loveliest little cub.
It was just .
.
I wasn't in a good place.
You wouldn't have been safe.
I think that we were meant to meet this way.
You know, fate and all that.
Perhaps we just weren't ready before.
Ah.
Look at you, getting all mushy over a reunion.
I wasn't thinking about that.
I was thinking how I'm going to be stuck riding round in your Mini.
Bang goes my dreams of a vehicle befitting my style and status.
Well, that's rude.
Hey, I've got an international reputation now.
I mean, Americans won't even recognise this as a car! They'll think it's a roller-skate, or a wheelie case Oh, really! Yes, wheelie! Oh, stop it! The Americans don't know what they're missing.
Yeah, they're going to find out, though, aren't they? We're an international brand now.
Do you really think you'd like to work cases abroad? Wouldn't you miss?What? Well, all this.
It's the moment of truth, Ruth.
You ready, Eddie? Who are Ruth and Eddie? Hit me.
Jason Chase, I have been authorised by my employer, to offer $150,000 in exchange for this, the bona fide, real deal Mistress Quickly.
Yes! Up to you, amigo.
Stick or twist.
Yes or no.
Um .
.
can I think about it? What? I'm kidding! Yes, she's yours! Congrats, amigo! Now you can afford to clean those shoes.
Well, I'm going to split it 50-50 with .
.
me mam.
Jason, you can't do that! Yes, I can.
It's all right.
I want to.
Finder's fee .
.
as promised.
All in a day's work.
Literally.
For the whole team? Yes.
I've got to hand it to you.
You stuck by that kid, Jason.
I would have bought the car off whoever found it.
It's not my money, but you made sure the right cat got his moolah.
Wow, I just hope we're as renowned in the States for our integrity as we are for our investigating.
I have to ask, which case or cases made us famous? I mean, we've had a few choice ones, haven't we? Ooh, we've had a few! Famous? Or infamous.
So you'd know us across the pond.
Oh.
Right.
Hey! ALL: Heyyy! No.
Truth is, I'd never even heard of you until yesterday morning.
I found your business card propping up a goofy table leg at my hotel breakfast.
Crazy, right? Imagine where I'd be if I'd had my eggs in bed! Speaking of eggs, it's time I beat it.
Shakespeare.
Hathaway.
It's been real.
Real stupid.
Gosh, if it hadn't been for you two international heroes, his beans might have run into his mushrooms.
Right.
Well, I guess we're stuck here.
Hmm? None of the glitz.
No glamour.
Our usual unusual clients.
Me chauffeuring you around.
Business as usual.
Fancy a quick one down the Mucky Mallard? Yes, please! Oh, I'm driving.
I'm not.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha.
Joseph Venice, I'm arresting you for suspicion of murder.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.
Get me Shakespeare and Hathaway.
What's the stopping distance for 30mph? About six car lengths.
I'm afraid I need the answer in feet.
I'll give you my feet in a minute! And me boot.
Right up your jacksie.
You need to take this seriously, Francis.
I've been driving since you were a funny look in your dad's good eye.
Besides, I've been driving with Lu for the past couple of years.
So I've seen exactly what bad driving looks like.
Cheek.
All right, tell me this.
Can you drive like a normal person though, or do you have to drive everywhere like the police? What does that even mean? You know, you have to drive around going, "Wooo, woooo, wooo, wooo!" And smashing through stacks of cardboard boxes.
Yeah.
/fo If you think cops all drive like Starsky and Hutch, you ought to see Keeler drive.
I remember once, we were chasing a stolen milk float.
He could hardly keep up! He's such an idiot.
Remind me how long your driving ban lasts.
Until today.
I'm going to ace this test, and I'm going to be back on the road before you know it.
Eat my dust.
I wouldn't be so sure of that.
I'll be needing you two down the station.
Which two? Not you.
Phew.
Why? To help me with some enquiries.
Sorry, no.
We're a meeting a client in about five minutes.
I can come back with uniforms, a warrant, we could search the place.
I'm sure that'll look good for your little business.
You could at least tell us what this is all about.
Murder.
And the killer's asking for you two.
You do know, if I find out you're in cahoots with him, I'm sending you both upriver.
Since when did you find anything out without our help, hmm? Follow me.
Mr Venice? Joe.
Squares start with "Mr Venice".
Cats like you can call me Joe.
Oh, right, thank you.
I'm Lu, this is Frank.
And we've got a few questions for you.
Oh, I bet you do! Like, who are you? And what have me and Lu got to do with any of this? I'll cut to the chase.
I'm an investigator, like you.
Most of the time, I operate in LA.
That's Los Angeles.
Hollywood, if you want to get into specifics.
Ooh.
That's in Los Angeles.
Yes, I know.
OK.
Normally, it's just fixing things for stars and studios.
Scandals and snooping.
You dig? We dig.
You're a long way from home.
I go where the work takes me.
This is the skinny - I've been on the trail of a car.
Well, my mate's doing up an old camper van if you fancy.
No, no.
The producer I work for, well, he's trying to complete his collection.
And there's this missing chariot, used to belong to a star.
We're talking a Hollywood all-timer, the real deal.
Oh, right! What, like Brad Pitt? Steve McQueen? Bradley Cooper? Paul Newman? Madonna! John Wayne? Can't say.
Look her up.
The Mistress Quickly.
Tricked out in the engine.
A real beast.
Now, I've gone from auction to backstreet seller, making my way along the line, for three years.
And the trail led you here? End of the rainbow, baby.
This car's changed hands more often than a dollar bill.
And then finally, today, I'm on my way to meet the man who says he knows where she is, Mr Andy Stern.
A second-rate mechanic.
Dead as the pharaohs when I found him.
Someone took a wrench and loosened his nut.
I thought about splitting, but maybe the man kept a note.
Something I could go on.
Didn't look too cool when the cops came in and collared me.
And that's where we come in.
It's a mess, all right.
But you, me, we're gumshoes.
There's a code.
We're brothers and sisters.
If you can land the big fish With the Mistress Quickly.
.
.
And get me off the hook, there's a finder's fee in it.
10%.
I'm sorry, we've already got a really full caseload.
Car's been valued at $150,000.
Never let it be said that Frank Hathaway would let down a fellow sleuth in need.
Read me that number-plate over there.
Er D one.
Oh, unlucky.
Oh "Do one".
Very witty! I thought so.
So, how does a big-time LA detective hear about you anyway? We've done work for soap stars, rock gods The in-crowd know us by name and reputation.
But hire him instead? Well, he does have the slight advantage of actually living in Hollywood, actually! Well, for now anyway.
For now? Picture this.
Shakespeare and Hathaway, Los Angeles! Yes, well, while you have been dreaming about La La Land, some of us have actually been doing some digging.
Andy Stern.
Before he was a mechanic, he was a stock car racer.
Oh, great.
Those things are like demolition derbies.
I mean, if he had a hold of this Mistress Quickly and raced her, he'd have welded the doors shut, smashed her to smithereens.
He had some team-mates.
Another mechanic, Portia Dane, and a driver, Reece Alonso.
Greasy Reece Alonso.
I might have known.
When I was in the police, we had him in our sights for armed robbery, but couldn't make it stick.
Hence the name, greasy Reece, see? Ah.
He runs a driving school now.
If he saw me, he'd run a mile.
Tell you what, get Lu to talk to him.
I'll chase up this Portia instead.
She has a garage in the same estate as Andy.
Maybe she saw something.
As long as it's wasn't Joe Venice whacking a guy with a wrench.
A spanner.
AMERICAN ACCENT: I'm American.
It's a wrench.
Oh, is that American, is it? Yes, it is.
I won the dialect medal at RADA.
That is Nebraska.
Jason Chase! Well, well, well.
It's been a while.
Who are you? Frank Hathaway.
I'm Yeah, sorry, Frank.
I need to go.
You don't have to go on my account.
If he says he has to go, he has to go.
Thanks for the tea.
So, what do you want, Hank? Oh, no, I'm Frank, not Hank.
Hank Hathaway! Sounds like a Country and Western singer.
I'm a private investigator.
Do you mind me asking how you know Jason? Yeah, he's been hanging around the garages, doing odd jobs and things.
How do you know him? I used to be in the police force.
Been a lot of them about today.
So, are you here to talk about Jason Chase, or about the murder over there? You used to race with the deceased, am I right? Not racing, not as such.
I did repairs for him.
I was in the pit-stop, while they were out getting all the glory.
That'd be Andy Stern and Reece Alonso? Now you're asking questions you know the answers to! You don't seem very upset about what happened.
Oh, we weren't close.
His garage is only there.
Well, there's all kinds of gear-heads along here.
Andy and I worked together, but it's not like we were friends or anything.
What about Jason Chase, then? I mean, if he's been hanging around, do you think he saw anything? No.
And I don't think he wanted to talk to you.
What about you? You wouldn't be using this for illegal street racing, would you? I can't control what people do with these cars after I've finished with them.
See anything you like? Not really my style.
Yeah.
You're more of a muscle-car sort, eh? Something big and powerful and classic.
Speaking of muscle-cars, you didn't see Andy working on anything like that, did you? This mythical missing car? No, we never had it.
I did all the buying for the team and if we'd have laid our hands on an engine like that, we'd have raced it.
If you ask me, I'd say Andy was trying it on.
Hoping to con a bit of money out of that detective.
If the Yank found out he was being strung along LOUD WHIRRING BEEPING Joe Venice.
Is that your real name? Is that your real moustache? I ask the questions round here.
I don't answer them.
Go on, then.
I asked you a question.
That was a statement.
You said, "I ask the questions round here.
I don't answer them.
" Are you trying to be clever? I am.
I recommend it.
I've got your fingerprints on the control of hydraulic lift.
I've got the victim's blood on your sleeves.
So, tell me, which of us looks like the stupid one now? Honest answer? I'm warning you.
Yes.
Yes, what? Yes, Joe Venice is my real name.
Good luck on the test, kiddo.
Knock 'em dead.
Oh! Not the best advice for a driving test.
I give all my best advice in the front seat.
I can book you in for a session if you'd like, Miss? Lu.
Lu Shakespeare.
Not Miss Lu.
Miss Shakespeare.
And how can I help you, Miss Shakespeare? Yes.
That would be Andy Stern.
Um, you used to be partners? I mean not partners, partners.
Well, you used to race together.
Is that right? Yeah, I heard the news.
Shocking.
Who could do such a thing? Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.
Oh, we were rivals once.
But I left that world behind me a long time ago.
Not that long ago, mind you.
No, clearly not.
I don't suppose you'd know why anyone would want to Kill him? No.
No idea.
One more little question, if that's all right? Is that all right? Have you ever seen that car? Yes.
I think Portia Dane, our mechanic, she bought one like that for peanuts at some off-the-books auction.
We were all excited to see it race, but when we tried it, it was bust.
Slick on the outside, but nothing under the hood.
Oh.
Mm.
Cars are like lovers.
It's what's on the inside that matters.
You should see how I make this purr.
Yeah, that would be lovely.
Erm Just one last thing.
Do you know what happened to the car? Got rid.
Sold for parts.
I mean, chances are it's in pieces now.
What's that got to do with Andy? We don't know really, it's just something we're looking into.
Betty.
Betty Ceres.
She's someone who had it in for Andy.
Oh? Do you know why? She's this ex-addict.
Used to be a barmaid at our local, does tattoos now, I think.
Blamed Andy for some crash.
Left her with this limp.
I mean, she hated him for it.
Oh, right, Betty Ceres.
Yeah.
I'm sure that's got more to do with Andy croaking it than some missing car.
Yes, I'm sure it has.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
So, one of them is lying.
Or, they both are.
Portia thinks Andy was running a con.
Reckons he pushed Joe too far.
Reece said there was a tattoo artist, Betty Ceres, and she had it in for Andy.
Well, we'd better talk to her, then.
Mm.
There is something else we have to consider.
Oh, yeah? Maybe the police might have the right man.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, yeah.
SHOP BELL RINGS Betty Ceres? Yeah? I'm Frank Hathaway.
I'm a private investigator.
Could I ask you a few questions about Andy Stern? Why would I want to say anything about him? Well, you didn't get along.
He did this 20 years ago.
How did it happen? Was walking home from work.
He was in some street race.
He must have thought if he didn't stop, I wouldn't know it was him.
Did you call the police? Look, what's all this about? Andy Stern's been murdered.
You think this has got something to do with me.
No, no, I'm just trying to understand a bit more about the victim.
Yeah, well .
.
I did go to the police, they didn't believe me.
No-one stuck up for me.
Much like every other day in my life.
Look, I'm not with the police.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, you can start by leaving me alone.
Well, look, if you change your mind Jason! We meet again.
Jason? Jason! This is why I need a car.
Do you think it could be a coincidence? Not with Jason Chase.
How do you know him? Ahhh, this and that.
Mostly bad.
Petty theft, joyriding He was a bit of a boy-racer.
A wrong'un, then.
Could he have graduated to murder? I hope not.
I mean, he's been in a lot of trouble, yeah, but he's been in and out of care, no-one to look after him.
But, if he's a joyrider, then he could have stolen our car we're after.
But why stick about? Wouldn't you just make a speedy getaway? Mm.
Speedy getaway Look up, "Post Office robbery, Christmas 2003.
" Oh, didn't you say Reece was involved in an armed robbery? Ah! Here we go.
Headline - "Post-haste! "Post Office robbers escape with Christmas takings.
" Post-haste.
Ha! I bet they were pleased with that one! Get on with it, will you? Blah blah blah.
Ah! "Witnesses described the getaway car as 'American', "and was driven with 'great speed and skill'".
I knew it! Yeah, well, that's not very bright, is it? Using a flash car like that.
Exactly.
They'd have to get rid of it straight away! Yeah, you'd have to sell it or scrap it.
Reece had an alibi.
Maybe we're looking at the wrong racer.
Maybe Andy was the wheelman.
Hang on a minute, are we solving one of your old cases here, or are we trying to find The Mistress Quickly? Ahem.
And trying to solve a murder, and trying to keep your client out of prison! And all of that.
We need to lean on Reece properly.
What do you mean "properly"? Well, because you were so immune to his charms last time.
Hmm? Well Let's see if Mr Alonso is as straight as he makes out.
Hello, Reece.
Nice wheels.
Frank Hathaway.
You know, I'd like to catch up, but Won't take long.
Just tell us what's happened to the missing car.
Never existed.
What? You said it was probably sold for scrap metal.
I was thinking of something else.
Wires crossed.
Are you in a hurry, are you? You know, last I heard, you weren't police any more.
Is that right? What about you? Still up to your old tricks, are you? Still in the game? ENGINE STUTTERS Not much of a purr, is it? ENGINE STARTS Ah! If you'd like to speak to my secretary, I'm sure she can arrange an appointment.
But if you'll excuse me, I've an important client to meet.
You know, if Reece really did use that car for a robbery Who got him the car in the first place? I knew! I knew! Do you ever actually do any work for us? You should be revising! You won't make it in LA if you can't drive.
Revision? Pah.
I know it off by heart.
Uh-uh.
Quarter past nine.
What? It's not ten to two.
It's quarter past nine.
Since when? Since airbags.
Well, I'm not listening to you anyway.
There's only one place you drive me, that's up the wall.
HORN BLARES Actually, my instructor said I was the best she'd ever passed.
Then why do we never see you drive, then? I couldn't possibly talk about it.
OK.
Just as I was leaving the examination centre, a man, an idiot, stepped straight into the road.
Did you run him over? No! I performed an expert emergency stop.
And then I became a monster.
What, you, with road rage?! I didn't recognise myself.
After that, I swore I'd never drive again.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, have you guys actually done any work on this case, or are you just Yes.
So this might be something.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA "Rival Racers to Settle Score".
It says here that, after finishing in joint first place, Andy Stern and Reece Alonso said they would "decide who was fastest, one way or another".
So? This is from 2002, when Betty was injured in her accident? So, the rematch could have been the illegal street race.
Which would mean Andy and Reece were to blame.
How does this tie in to Jason? If you keep bumping into him, why not just ask? Stop in the name of the law! Ahh! Frank! Hey! Don't make me cross.
Get it? Get it? No.
Just, no.
Shall we have a chat? Do I have a choice? Come on.
I'm not even going to mention the disguise.
I haven't done anything.
Yet.
It's the second time I've caught you hanging around that tattoo parlour.
I thought you'd stopped all that.
Aren't you be supposed to be looking for Andy's killer, or something? What makes you think the police haven't done that? There's only two people who'd know the police have got the wrong man.
You're either a witness, or you're the I didn't do it.
All right? You'll have to try a bit harder than that to convince me.
I want to help you.
But you have to trust me.
Jason? Listen .
.
I found the body, before the Yank turned up.
But then I pegged it.
So Joe Venice is innocent? Why didn't you tell the police that?! Oh, yeah, so they can pin it on me! I don't want to be in the frame either.
If they've not got a suspect, then they'll So, did you know Betty, then? The tattooist.
Yeah, she had it in for Andy.
Hated him.
Yeah, but we don't know she did it.
HE SIGHS LOUDLY It's such a mess, is all this.
Is she after the car as well? The Mistress Quickly.
What? How do you know? Ahhhh! Is this what this is all about? Finding a car? Do you know where it is? My buddy's been murdered, and all you care about is some old car! That old car is worth thousands.
Whoever killed Andy, might be after After a fortune, you mean? Like you.
Oh, Portia was right.
I can't trust anyone.
Jason.
If you know something that might help, this is a murder investigation.
It's a treasure hunt.
It's either me or the police.
Yeah, well.
That's up to you, innit, Frankie? Jason.
What now?! You forgot your Oh.
Thank you.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Oh, hi.
Listen, we need to look up Betty's place again.
I've a feeling bad tats aren't the only thing she covers up.
Oh, OK.
What have you got? Well, nothing.
You asked me to ring you to remind you.
Remind me what? You've got a driving test, right now! AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey.
I'm looking for some sin on my skin.
We do tattoos, and tattoo removal.
Hit me up with some recommendos, daddio.
I can show you my portfolio.
Things I've already done.
Whoa! Tell me about this one, dollface.
It's a star.
Cool, man.
Cool.
OK, er, you! You You, you You! You You! I know you.
You're no lollipop man.
You're Andy's friend, Jason.
Did you? Did you? CLATTERING Don't mind me, brother.
Ahhh! Ahhhh.
Sorry.
Wrong Wrong number.
Shop.
Wrong shop.
I needed .
.
bacon.
Sorry I'm late.
We can make up for lost time on the road, eh? Brummm! Brmmmm, owww! I-I'll ride shotgun.
Never mind.
I'll drive.
It's not the National Gallery! Are you going to choose something, or what? Absolutely not.
It's just so Per-ma-nent.
Baby.
Look, I've just about had enough of weirdos pestering me today.
SHOP BELL RINGS Betty? Hey.
Do you remember me? Yeah, I remember you.
I'm looking for Jason.
Andy's mate.
I think he might have been heading here.
What is going on? Honestly.
I'm fed up of strangers traipsing in and out of here, interrupting my trade.
I mean, detectives, weirdos Detectives? This murder.
That's probably why that Jason lad came here, but it's nothing to do with me.
I think you might be in danger here.
You can't trust anyone.
We're closing.
I think I'm going to try something in Biro first, see if I really dig it.
So, show us what you got.
Ah, bupkis, baby.
Ohh! Listen, Portia Dane just rushed in, and told Betty her life might be in danger.
Really? From who? They hustled me out before I could hear.
But, Jason was in earlier, and he seemed sort of angry with Betty.
So my guess is maybe him.
Hang on.
If Portia's in there, then she's not in the garage.
So? So, we're looking for a car, and that's where people keep them! Ahh! Call Frank.
Tell him what you found out.
I'll just walk then, shall I? PHONE RINGS So, what's the verdict? Hello? Hello? SHUTTER MECHANISM WHIRS You'll be safe here.
When I've got hold of him, I'll sort this out, once and for all.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Did you pass? No more Mini.
He-he-he! Hey, bravo! Well, Lu told me to report back on the tattoo shop.
And? Betty's into motors.
Cars inked up and down her arms.
Anything else? Yes.
Er, a star, a wolf, and a date - 03/03/83.
I don't mean tattoos! I mean, did you find out anything else? Oh.
Yes, I did.
Your friend Jason came rushing in, and then rushed out.
And then it was Portia, saying Betty's life was in danger, and the two of them left shortly after that.
What, together? Yes.
Portia made it sound like Jason might be dangerous.
Jason? Wait.
Give me that date again.
03/03/83.
Oh, no.
What? I've got a bad feeling this is a trap.
PHONE BEEPS And Lu's caught right in the middle of it.
Hey! Hang on, hang on.
Stop! Stop! Move! It's an emergency.
I am commandeering the vehicle.
What are you doing?! Come on, come on.
Pick up.
Why are you inviting him here if he's a danger to me? TOOL CLATTERS NOISILY What the hell's going on? Hi.
Erm .
.
nice place.
Come on.
Come on! - What are you doing?! - HORN TOOTS TYRES SCREECH HORN BLARES Oi, Jason! What do you want now? Has she called? What? Has anyone called asking you to go anywhere? I don't know.
I turned me phone off, didn't I? Didn't want any of you lot tracking me.
Your disguise is a luminous yellow coat and you're holding an 8ft lollipop.
Yeah, very good, but I'm not asking you for tips, all right? Look, I need you to come with me.
That's not covered by my insurance.
This is an emergency! And stop messing around with the pedals on your side.
Look, I'm sorry if I was I'm sorry if I didn't show enough concern before.
But this is not about a car.
It's about a murder, and it's about keeping you, and the people you love, safe.
I mean it.
I've worked it all out.
Let me help you.
Look, I want you to call the police and tell them Frank Hathaway has stolen your car, and taken you hostage.
That way they'll come much quicker.
Fine.
Well, come on then! What are you doing? Jason! Just there Lovely.
Right, yeah Ready when you are.
No, no.
We're not police.
But we have a licence.
We've got an office and everything.
Another private detective? Is this what you lot do, then, eh? Crawl around, trying to listen in? No! Well, not so much crawling.
Yeah, sometimes we do.
You find anything out, did you? Dig up any dirt? Get what you wanted? I think we've got off on the wrong foot here.
I'm not accusing anybody Accusing of what? What did you find, detective? What did you solve? What the hell are you doing with that? Probably defending herself.
After all, you were planning on taking her hostage.
Hostage?! What on earth for? The missing car.
What missing car? I don't know anything about a missing car.
Well.
Maybe this will help explain.
Now, I'm no detective, but that doesn't look like a rare American hot-rod to me.
No.
But it is Reece Alonso's car.
And where is he right now, huh? KNOCKING SHE TAPS TAPPING IS RETURNED Reece! Oh, my! Somebody hit me from behind.
Frankie? What's going on? When you talked to me this morning, you'd already told Portia you'd seen Andy's body, hadn't you? You knew he was a potential witness.
You also knew about his connection to Andy.
But he ran off before you could find out more about The Mistress Quickly.
That's a stretch.
And you told Betty that Jason was a danger to her.
Why did you do that? What's he going to do?! Lead her to the car.
After Jason ran off and hid, she needed to find a hostage to draw him out.
You.
That doesn't make sense.
I mean, I barely know him.
Yeah, but he knows you, don't you? Betty's tattoo.
When did you first notice it? She She came round arguing with Andy.
I saw it then.
I've booked you in so many times, I know it off by heart.
03/03/83.
It's my birthday.
You? You're my You're my son? You're my son! You're my son.
I didn't know what to do.
I knew that it was Andy who'd injured you.
So I thought maybe you'd finally got your revenge, so I disguised myself so I could keep an eye on things.
Protect you if I had to.
Touching as this all is, it's got nothing to do with me.
You needed to find Jason.
You knew he was a witness, but when he felt safe talking to you this morning, he couldn't have suspected you.
But what else was so important about him? Was it because he also knew where Andy kept the car? You? You said you cared.
I told you everything, about my mum, about finding Andy's body I thought you were going to help me.
Andy was my mate.
He was a crook! He was going to sell that car and leave you nothing.
No! No, no, no, no.
Andy wouldn't do that.
No, we were going to work on it together.
Our little project.
No, Andy weren't going to sell it.
You believe that? Andy was a fool.
I told him to get rid of that car after the robberies.
It was evidence that could lead straight back to us, but he kept it! So you killed him? Andy was an idiot, but he was our mate! Was he? That car was ours.
Did he tell either of us when he found out what it was worth? No.
He was going to rob us! How dare he?! You're a cheat and a liar and a fraud! How dare you?! I didn't plan it.
I was so angry to realise that Andy kept that car.
The danger that he'd put me in.
All right.
But why hit me over the head? To eliminate the competition, is that right? Because you You were the only other person who knew about the car and the robberies.
And I bet it was helpful that it was you and Andy in the race that injured Betty because, with you gone, that was a motive.
Why I Whoa, Mum! TYRES SCREECH Should have checked her blind-spot.
Reece was the driver on all the Post Office robberies.
I can testify to that.
Portia.
What are you doing? I'm not going down for all this on my own.
All right.
Nick him as well! I'm sorry for doubting you.
It's not like I ever gained your trust, is it? The mother you never knew.
You weren't well.
I can't blame you for that.
Sorry I rushed your reunion.
That's all right, Frankie.
I mean, you were helping.
It's everyone else that ruined things.
And all for a car.
Yeah.
Between me and you, I wouldn't mention the car to the coppers.
Jason, I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to find you, but I know.
I was scared too.
I don't know where to start.
Probably not with us watching you, actually.
Sorry.
Come on, Frank.
Not yet.
Oh, what now? Solving a murder and a series of robberies not good enough for you? Yeah, right heap of paperwork you've left me with.
Brilliant.
But there is one perk.
Oh! Driving without due care and attention.
Furious driving, dangerous driving.
Exceeding passenger vehicle speed limit.
Aggravated taking of a vehicle.
And finally, leaving a vehicle in a dangerous position.
You can't do that! Dunno Looks like I just did.
Oh, wow.
Is that her? I'll ask her.
Nicely.
You do know that it wasn't that I didn't want you? You were the loveliest little cub.
It was just .
.
I wasn't in a good place.
You wouldn't have been safe.
I think that we were meant to meet this way.
You know, fate and all that.
Perhaps we just weren't ready before.
Ah.
Look at you, getting all mushy over a reunion.
I wasn't thinking about that.
I was thinking how I'm going to be stuck riding round in your Mini.
Bang goes my dreams of a vehicle befitting my style and status.
Well, that's rude.
Hey, I've got an international reputation now.
I mean, Americans won't even recognise this as a car! They'll think it's a roller-skate, or a wheelie case Oh, really! Yes, wheelie! Oh, stop it! The Americans don't know what they're missing.
Yeah, they're going to find out, though, aren't they? We're an international brand now.
Do you really think you'd like to work cases abroad? Wouldn't you miss?What? Well, all this.
It's the moment of truth, Ruth.
You ready, Eddie? Who are Ruth and Eddie? Hit me.
Jason Chase, I have been authorised by my employer, to offer $150,000 in exchange for this, the bona fide, real deal Mistress Quickly.
Yes! Up to you, amigo.
Stick or twist.
Yes or no.
Um .
.
can I think about it? What? I'm kidding! Yes, she's yours! Congrats, amigo! Now you can afford to clean those shoes.
Well, I'm going to split it 50-50 with .
.
me mam.
Jason, you can't do that! Yes, I can.
It's all right.
I want to.
Finder's fee .
.
as promised.
All in a day's work.
Literally.
For the whole team? Yes.
I've got to hand it to you.
You stuck by that kid, Jason.
I would have bought the car off whoever found it.
It's not my money, but you made sure the right cat got his moolah.
Wow, I just hope we're as renowned in the States for our integrity as we are for our investigating.
I have to ask, which case or cases made us famous? I mean, we've had a few choice ones, haven't we? Ooh, we've had a few! Famous? Or infamous.
So you'd know us across the pond.
Oh.
Right.
Hey! ALL: Heyyy! No.
Truth is, I'd never even heard of you until yesterday morning.
I found your business card propping up a goofy table leg at my hotel breakfast.
Crazy, right? Imagine where I'd be if I'd had my eggs in bed! Speaking of eggs, it's time I beat it.
Shakespeare.
Hathaway.
It's been real.
Real stupid.
Gosh, if it hadn't been for you two international heroes, his beans might have run into his mushrooms.
Right.
Well, I guess we're stuck here.
Hmm? None of the glitz.
No glamour.
Our usual unusual clients.
Me chauffeuring you around.
Business as usual.
Fancy a quick one down the Mucky Mallard? Yes, please! Oh, I'm driving.
I'm not.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha.