Shameless US s04e09 Episode Script

The Legend of Bonnie and Carl

_ Ow.
I have baby soon.
I cannot work.
He must take care of me and baby.
Oh, my God.
I'm a different person.
I'm done living the way other people want me to live.
Is your boyfriend here? Damn.
You know you're dying, right? Nope, not ready to punch my ticket yet.
Your wife's water broke.
Let's go.
- Where? - The hospital.
It's not my fault the bitch got knocked up.
Three years sober this Monday.
That's really great, Robbie.
- Yeah, that's excellent.
- Congrats.
Thank you so much for doing all this.
You know, I wish I could think of a way to repay you.
I'm sure you'll think of something.
Here's grandma.
He's such a little angel.
Kev, she wants to keep him.
I don't wanna lose him, V.
He'll still be your son, your boy.
Her responsibility.
You know, we can still do stuff together.
Yeah, great.
Cool.
Hang out.
Like friends do.
- Talk to you later.
- Yeah.
- What's on his face? - Oh, my God.
He got into my coke.
You will be under house arrest until further notice.
If you attempt to leave the residence a radio frequency transmitter will send an alert, and you will be in deep shit.
think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? until I'm allowed out.
I can almost taste the garbage and urine-scented air.
Look, I went through the bills.
Cancelled cable.
Carl will just have to deal.
Figure I can keep sneaking food from the cafeteria.
And then I have a student loan check coming.
You know, I think that should cover next month's rent and power.
What'll you use for tuition? I'll think of something.
But that money's for school.
Yeah, well, heat's a little more important right now.
No, you're not dropping out, okay? I'm getting a job.
I've got an interview right after I check in with my probation officer.
Pay's not bad.
I got this.
It'll work out, I promise.
Okay.
You staying here tonight? Yeah, no morning classes tomorrow.
- Let's go wake up the little guy.
- Sure.
Ugh.
Make way, I call crapper.
Mickey's still here? I don't fucking know.
Morning, sunshine.
He musta had another nightmare.
I'll check under Debbie's bed.
Dryer? That's the first place I checked.
I don't know where else he could be.
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
Hey, you found a comfy spot there? - Hey.
- Hey, how 'bout some juice? - Yeah.
- You want some juice? No, we're all out.
Hey, can you tell whoever's going to the store to get some eggs and tabasco? - You live here now? - Wife problems.
Ian said I could crash on the floor.
This isn't a shelter.
No shit, shelter has better water pressure.
All right, buddy, let's get you dressed.
What are you doing? Late night? Got outta work around 2:00.
There any coffee downstairs? Yeah, yeah.
So, uh, Mickey's still here.
Yeah.
For how long? Uh Are you sure that's a good idea? Mmm, coffee.
He's been out 18 hours.
Is he ever gonna wake up? I'm not a specialist.
You're a doctor.
Resident.
You're the only one from the hospital who'd come.
I'd make him comfortable for however much time he has left.
It's not much.
That's it? There's nothing else you can do? Afraid not.
You said after I examined him Chuckie, go watch TV.
Nothing on.
Then go make mommy a sandwich.
Come on, hop to it.
Let's go.
Don't stop.
I can still come if you're crying.
Ah, there you go.
Made a run to Toys R Us.
Figured it would help keep your little bro occupied.
Uh, yeah, you know, he's three, so, uh, he's fine with a cardboard box or a set of keys.
Whoo.
Looks like a satisfied customer to me.
Now it's big brother's turn.
I got class.
Not for another 15 minutes.
I don't plan on keeping you that long.
No, I try to make a point of not banging my roommate's girlfriend, so Didn't stop you last time.
- I was asleep.
- Until you weren't.
And we're not banging.
I'm a virgin.
No, I-I've heard you and Ron go at it plenty of times.
Backdoor only.
I'm saving myself for my husband.
Right, and how would your husband feel about you having taken it in the seat like a porn star? Why'd you stop by here before class? Admit it, because you were hoping I'd be here.
Excuse me, guys.
Forgot my spinoza.
Hey, um Hey, listen, I'm-- I'm so sorry.
Just let me explain.
It's okay, dude.
You don't need to be sorry.
I owe you one.
I was starting to hear Amanda bark orders to me in my dreams.
So we're-- we're cool? The best part about getting a blow job from Amanda, ten minutes of silence.
Come on, dude.
Don't be late for class.
Gallagher.
Good to be out of the house again.
You staying out of trouble? Not too much trouble you can get into on house arrest.
Mm-hmm, well, starting today you're allowed to be out from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM.
Not 6:01, not 6:02.
Yeah.
You missed three meetings, Damon.
I caught the flu.
You ain't get my messages? And if you miss curfew, you'll violate the terms of your probation, and you can go back to jail.
You got a job? I'm working on it.
Terms of your probation require that you gain employment within 30 days.
I can give you the name of an agency.
I've got an interview this afternoon, an office job.
That's what I had before.
Mm-hmm.
When was the last time you used? Not since the night of my arrest.
Going to NA? First meeting's tomorrow.
I'll need verification that you attend.
Just give me a urine sample, and we are done.
You wanna watch or am I going stag this time? What the-- You're up.
How do you feel? That smell.
Oh, incense.
It's called Persian spice.
I was afraid it would stink like the toilet at a Baghdad bazaar, but I think it's nice.
You like it? Church music? I just sent Chuckie out for some lotion.
Doesn't a massage sound nice? I've seen this before.
You want a bite to eat? I could whip you up something.
Okay.
Hospice.
You must be hungry.
I'm not dying.
I know this is hard.
I'm just trying to make you as comfortable as possible.
Then take me to the Alibi.
The-- the bar? I was always comfortable there.
Is there a final resting place you had in mind? A cemetery? The website said not to use that word.
I am not dying.
Okay.
I am going to fix you something to eat.
Will you just look at this while I'm in the kitchen? Circle your favorite psalms.
No talking.
Do your homework.
You gotta heat the end of it.
What? You're making a shank, right? You gotta heat the end of it with a lighter first.
Then smear it in poop before you use it so it causes infection.
My dad's at Stateville correctional.
I'm practicing for when I'm there.
How long they got you in here for? Last day.
Bullying.
Got two weeks ahead of me.
No talking.
Bitch.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of her.
Thanks for helping me carry my stuff.
Yeah, what are friends for? Since when do you play bass? Oh, Josh said it was easy to learn.
You know, if I'm honest, I don't really think I like trip-hop all that much, but these guys are fun to hang out with.
You wanna meet up after, hate-watch Twilight Breaking Dawn? Oh, uh, I can't.
I'm sorry.
Work? No, I'm, um getting together with somebody.
A date? No worries.
That's fine.
- I don't care.
- Oh, you don't? No! Everyone has dates.
I have dates too.
Oh, okay, well, we're just going bowling before her shift starts.
She works at the bowling alley? - No, pizza place.
- Hmm.
Seema.
She just starting working there.
I trained her.
That's how we met.
Mm, how romantic.
Sounds nice.
What did you do to her? Slipped a couple tabs of acid in her coffee.
You turned Mrs.
Spencer into a zombie? She's seeing colors, not gorging on human flesh.
- I'm Bonnie.
- Carl.
Come on, Carl, let's raid her purse.
I heard her crying in the bathroom earlier, so I'm guessing there's a bunch of Zoloft in there.
Hey, what you doing? Making shorts for work.
Trolls at the club get off on the General Patton fantasy, huh? More like SEAL Team Six.
Excuse me.
Where is he? The fuck you want? So your sister knows where you are, but not mother of your child? When you coming home? I'm not coming home.
Seven pounds, six ounces.
Weight of your child, if you care.
Fat little fuck, isn't he? I do everything I can so he doesn't turn into piece of shit like you.
Yeah, I'm sure you're gonna turn him into a nice, upstanding citizen since you've blown so many of them.
We need money, stroller, changing pads.
Go to work.
I do, but it's not enough for Raisa.
Who the fuck's Raisa? One of the girls.
She fell asleep while using Nair.
She has third-degree burns on her pubis.
She can't work, so she watches baby.
Hold on, I'm supposed to pay some whore on the DL to baby-sit? You could watch him.
Got better shit to do.
Yeah, like what? Do ass fuck with orange boy? Watch yourself.
You think you scare me? You are 130 pounds of Ukrainian pussy.
What's your father gonna say when he gets out of jail and I tell him you spend every day with orange boy rubbing your dicks together? He's gonna cut yours off and shove it up boyfriend's anus, right where you like it.
$500 tomorrow or I call him.
Even want to know your son's name? Fuck you.
That's his name.
So have you ever worked in furniture before? No, but trust me if I can sell cups, I can sell anything.
Well, we manufacture waterproof polypropylene covers that protect sofas and loveseats.
- Great if you have pets.
- Or kids, I bet.
I have five brothers and sisters.
I wish I'd bought one of these years ago.
You know what, bring one of these home, okay? Here.
You gotta know what product you're selling, right? Absolutely.
Thanks.
Yeah, you know, actually I just need you to, um, complete the application before I can send it up to Mr.
Garrett - with my recommendation.
- I did.
Oh, you missed a box.
"Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" You just got to dot all the "I"s and cross all the "T" s, so Thanks.
So It was a small drug thing.
I was around somebody that I shouldn't have been at the wrong time.
It coulda happened to anyone.
Mm.
It's the only time I've ever been in trouble with the law.
I got a lot of really good experience from my last job.
They promoted me really fast.
Uh, you know, we will, um We will be in touch.
I became one of their top salespeople.
Thank you.
Dad? I made your favorite.
Chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and grav-- God.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Dad? Dad.
What are you doing? Alibi.
Alibi? You-- you are in no condition to go anywhere.
- I'm-- I'm fine.
- Oh, come on, come on.
- It's freezing out.
- I'm fine! Get off of me! Stop! No.
Look what Liam made, a Play-Doh you.
There's even a little cigarette.
Um Can you breathe? Can you breathe with that? Listen, uh, I really appreciate you, uh, looking out for my-- my brother and all.
Um, I'm not really looking for a girlfriend here.
That's cute.
Well, what's-- what's cute? You think I want a boyfriend? Well yeah, I mean, you, uh you replaced Ron's name with mine on the mini fridge.
Yeah, I wanted to make sure he didn't take the mac and cheese I made for you.
Oh, sure.
But, uh, all these services don't come for free.
Come on.
Sorry? Familiar with the term "quid pro quo"? Yeah, yeah, that's, uh that's Latin for "lick mine, and I'll lick yours," right? Need you to meet my mom and dad for parents' weekend.
Pretend we're together.
That's it? Just clean up for a dinner? No, no clean up.
In fact, wear that shirt with all the "fucks" on it.
My parents started me on violin lessons when I was three.
SAT prep when I was 12.
I'm a walking stereotype.
For Christ sakes, I'm a math major.
You know, you-- you could do a lot worse than parents that give a shit.
No, it's time my mom and dad know that I'm not gonna be programmed for med school like my older sister.
I need to scare the living shit out of them.
So you in? How about we tell them Liam's my kid? Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay.
Should be moving shortly.
Hi, sorry.
Is there a problem? Should have the train up and running soon.
Uh, how soon? I gotta be home in 20 minutes.
Hey! Wait! Wait! Hey! Taxi! Hey.
- Hi.
- Off duty.
How much to back of the yards? Off duty.
I am not getting out of this cab.
Ugh, 20, 25.
I got 12.
Take me as far as you can.
I need to talk to you.
Hey, there he is.
Congratulations, man.
- Drink on the house.
- What for? The birth of your child.
Yeah, my kid just popped out too.
But my mother-in-law won't let me raise him.
- Lucky you.
- Hey, your wife's upstairs.
I'm not looking at that fucking hose-bag.
Nice way to talk about the mother of your child.
Her tits are enormous.
Definitely worth the price of admission.
Tommy, he doesn't want to hear about you going balls deep on his wife.
Shut the fuck up.
I need my cut from the business upstairs, please.
All right.
I got it right here.
There's only a couple hundred bucks here.
Yeah, after expenses.
What expenses other than sheets and abortions? Uh, rent for one.
Utilities.
You own the fucking place.
Yeah, and I give us a very fair deal.
I need 500 bucks, Kev.
Well, I don't have it, man.
You are the worst fucking pimp I've ever seen.
Is that supposed to be some kind of insult? Hey.
Thought you were busy playing house with Mickey.
His wife stopped by.
With their kid.
Is he gonna be okay? Mickey? How the hell should I know? The baby.
Oh, considering he's being cared for by a 20-year-old Russian whore, - could be worse.
- It's freezing out.
She brought him by our house in nothing but a onesie.
It's, uh, some of Liam's old stuff.
You'll make sure he's bundled up? How's Lip? Don't tell Mickey's wife where you got this, okay? I won't.
Hey.
Is Lip at home? Back and forth, but most nights yeah.
I gotta get to work.
- It's ten more blocks.
- Look at the meter.
$11.
I said I have 12.
A tip.
Hey, where the hell have you been? Jesus.
I went to your house, you weren't there.
My shift's starting.
Look, you got any money on you? Few bucks.
Why? I need more than that.
What for? My bitch of a wife thinks I owe her something.
Like I'm the only guy ever dropped a fucking load in her.
Boys.
Ride around the block? We look like a couple fags for sale to you? Yes.
Well, this ain't Macy's, bitch.
You ain't window-shopping.
You're in Boystown, outside a bar called The Fairy Tail.
Why don't you fuck off before I give you a broken spine to go along with that limp wrist? Yeah, get going, you fucking fruit! Thinks he can buy whatever he wants 'cause he's got a fucking Rolex and an S-class.
That shit happen to you a lot? Every night.
From rich dudes? Gotta get to work.
Hey, hey, hold on.
Tell your boss you're going home sick tonight.
Sick? Yeah, whatever.
Tell him you got AIDS.
El broke down.
You, uh, get a job? It's looking good.
How's school? Yeah, it's, uh, complicated.
Roommate stuff.
The school loan check came in though.
We already talked about that.
You're staying in school.
I got leads on jobs.
Don't worry.
Dinner's ready! Is that Mandy? Yeah, yeah, she dropped by looking for Ian.
- He works nights.
- I told her that.
- He won't be home for hours.
- Told her that.
Doesn't she have a boyfriend? Look, he's at work.
Night shift.
I'm gonna go clean up.
Set a place for V.
She's coming by.
Fiona home? Yeah.
Hey, um, you seen Ian recently? Yeah, came by today.
Brought over some baby clothes.
He seem okay to you? I don't know what he's on, but, yeah, I guess.
I'm worried about him.
He's wound up so tight.
He's bound to uncork at some point.
It's probably healthy.
Hey, Debbie.
Hey, we got, uh, cafeteria meatloaf for dinner.
And if you douse it in enough ketchup, you might not ask yourself if it's really meat.
Texting your boyfriend? Huh, deleting his pictures.
Guys suck.
You're just figuring that out now? - What happened, Debs? - He's on a date.
How can you tell when you're in love with someone? When you wanna rip someone's heart out and stomp on it till it's soup.
So who's the bitch? Bitch? The skank who can't get her own man, so she moved onto yours? You think it's her fault? She knows exactly what she's doing.
Feel sorry for her.
Why? She doesn't know who she messed with.
Debbie Gallagher.
_ Got a room upstairs.
You don't beat around the bush.
I know what I want.
Do you? No, no, no, no, only one.
- Yeah, right.
- Got a big day tomorrow.
Got to get a job.
Oh, you think this is just about you? You drinking for the both of us.
I'm like a paraplegic telling you to run the marathon 'cause my legs won't move.
Once these little girls pop out, I'm gonna be making up for lost time.
I'm gonna be downing my first vodka before the doctor even pulls her hand out of my hoo-ha.
I'll be right there.
You better.
As long as it's during daylight hours.
I almost missed my curfew today.
What? I was looking for a job.
Gotta make money.
You know, gotta help out Lip.
You know, he's got so much on his plate.
I don't know how he's doing it all.
Well, he learned from the best.
I lied to him.
Told him I had some leads.
Only job I could find was a burger place.
Well, minimum wage is better than nothing.
It's the night shift.
Couldn't even take it.
You could go back to the cuppers.
After they fired me for misconduct? Yeah, "Hey, Mike, if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony.
" Well, if they say they downsized you, you could get unemployment.
I don't think they're inclined to do me any favors.
Can't hurt to ask.
I can't go back there.
All right, what about Gallagher day care? That was always good for a few bucks.
Liam.
Shh.
It's okay.
Just a bad dream, huh? Oh, yeah, it's just a bad dream.
You're okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
All right.
You're okay.
Slice of Heaven Pizza.
Skank.
You looking for Angie? No, the new girl.
Oh, uh, Seema.
Um, she just got back from her deliveries.
Hold on.
Hey, Seema, phone.
Hello? You don't know who you messed with, skank.
You like it rough? Whatever you're into.
Say cheese, mother fucker! What the hell? Hey, that's Bulgari.
That's, like, 200 bucks cash.
Nice watch, man.
What's going on? I'm calling the fucking police.
Yeah, you do that.
What do you think Claire and little Eleanor would make of the photo I just took? Who? Whatever the fuck their names are.
You're gonna out him? Only if I have to.
Hey, his fault for living a lie, right? Why don't we take a little trip downstairs? Gonna go to the ATM machine.
If you're gonna take my money, least you can do is have the twink suck me off.
That all you think he is? Some twink? He gave me blue balls.
Did he? Oh! Now they're black and blue balls.
Excuse me.
Please move.
Please move.
Hey, Matt.
Sure, I'd love to see you again.
Yeah, tomorrow night works.
Bye.
_ Jesus.
What are you doing here? What happened to my house? Where's your mom? Out getting diapers for grandpa.
Is Frank here? Okay, we got your favorite, banana pancakes.
Oh, I love banana pancakes.
Hey, is that my shirt? Yeah, I didn't bring a change of clothes, so You got coffee? Oh, make yourself at home.
You got a problem? This should more than cover the bisquick, asshole.
Hope you're happy about taking food out of my baby's mouth.
Yeah, how is your kid? How the fuck should I know? Hey, going for a run.
Wanna join? Uh, no, you know, I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.
- Hey, you seen Fiona? - Left already.
Hey, look, you given any though to re-enrolling in high school? Where's my hat? It's cold out.
Hey, what do you think of gaming? World Of Warcraft, Second Life? What, you mean like playing 'em? No, no.
The business side of it.
Online multiplayer gaming is the future.
I read all about it in a magazine.
Think you'd be any good at it? I-I don't know.
Yeah, I think it'd be great.
I got tons of ideas for games, you know? Here it is.
Hey, you sure you don't wanna join? Eight miles.
No, I'm-- I'm good.
She's a towel-head? Indian, I think.
Matt likes dark meat.
Goes to nursing school at night.
Like she's something special.
Even has her own apartment.
You followed her home? Freak.
Matty hasn't texted me since their last date.
What does she have that I don't? An apartment.
He's only into her 'cause she's older.
Why do guys care so much about sex? Because it feels awesome.
Like you would know.
If my hand is anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.
What are you looking for? Need to get back into detention.
Why? True love, sis.
So, uh, how's the slaughterhouse? Ha, once you get used to the smell Who am I kidding? You never get used to the smell.
I get overtime.
Any deaths or dismissals? Sorry.
I gotta get Ricky to day care.
Well, that's why I was dropping by.
I was thinking maybe I could watch him again.
Thanks, but we're set for now.
Well, I charge a hell of a lot less than that place over on Cermak.
That's where you're going, right? And we don't send 'em home with lice and bite marks.
I'll give you a call if things change.
Ricky had a great time last summer at Gallagher day care.
How's the drug thing? It was just that one time.
I'm sorry, Fiona.
Liz, you left him at my house for an entire weekend once while you were up in North Lawndale sticking a needle in your arm.
Yeah.
Gotta go.
Fuck you.
Frank? Frank! Kinda hard to get mad at you about selling all my furniture when you're like this.
But I know what it's like to have your back against the wall.
Roger Running Tree and I broke up.
It wasn't meant to be.
He's got anger issues.
Plus he's on the run from the federal government.
Something like collecting false reparations.
It turns out he has less Indian blood than I do.
He's mostly Mexican.
But the children, Frank.
Oh, my gosh, Frank, they're so adorable.
And Roger and I, we were gonna get married and adopt them before he showed his true colors, which is evidently brown and not red.
Frank, they're alone in the world.
Do you understand what I'm getting at? All I need is a marriage certificate.
Frank, will you marry me? Hey.
Finishing your philosophy paper? - Yeah.
- Better hurry.
You have an econ quiz in two hours.
Uh, right, you know, about that, I-I couldn't help but notice the schedule.
I made it for you.
Yeah, no, I thought it might have been you, and you broke it down into five-minute segments.
I mean, who schedules something for 12:55? So you can better manage your time.
Right, but you even put in preset bathroom breaks.
I synced it to your new phone.
You got me a new phone? You're welcome.
Thank you.
But seriously, this-- this schedule, it's just-- it's-- it's not me, okay? I'm not used to having my dumps planned out in advance.
You know, it's-- I can't-- I can't regiment my life like that, all right? That's why I'm doing it for you.
Okay, I guess I'm just more of a, uh, fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.
How's that working out for you? How 'bout a quick BJ then? BJ break isn't for another 45 minutes.
- Hey! - What do you want? Mandy, she here last night? - She wasn't with you? - No, I was at work.
I kept calling the house, no answer.
Then I call her cell, she say she's at home.
She with Lip? You just putting two and two together, huh? Hey, good for you, Einstein.
He in this motherfucker? Nah, asshole's at college.
It's a big place, lots of buildings.
People go there to learn.
Don't worry about it.
- Man, where at? - West Maxwell.
Hey, you planning on giving a beat down to every guy Mandy's been with? Your arms are gonna get fucking tired.
_ What are you doing? Stating the obvious.
You just bought yourself two more weeks' detention.
Cool.
You know, you misspelled your last name.
Lowenthal Bridal? Hi, I'm getting remarried.
Oh, thank you.
I'm over the moon about it.
Yeah, um, and actually, I-I bought my wedding dress from you 22 years ago.
And since then I've lost a considerable amount of weight.
Anyway, I was wondering if you-- if you could take it in for me.
How many sizes? Well, I would say a few.
I-- Uh, can I call you back? I need to talk to you about something very serious.
I can explain the furniture.
And the "For Sale" sign.
And the broken window.
How do you look in lilac? Huh? Your dress.
I want you to be my maid of honor.
Maid of honor? - Yes, Frank said yes.
- What? Yes, and I-- and I've already booked the church.
And I-- and I thought we could have the reception here.
And I was thinking of, like, a winter wonderland.
And we would do, like, snowflakes and-- and white wood and lanterns.
And what do you think? And, well, your opinion is very important to me because I'm gonna be your new mom.
- Really? - Yeah.
I don't think grandpa's breathing.
- No! - Oh, my God! I got it, I got it.
Okay.
Dad? Oh, not yet, Frank.
Not yet.
It's faint, but he's still alive.
Call 911.
Hey, come again.
Yevgeny.
- Huh? - Name of your son.
- The fuck kinda name is that? - My father's.
The one who sold you to a pimp for 200 bucks? You name your kid after him? It was 300, and he had good qualities too.
Yeah, clearly.
We're square.
Come home where you belong.
Wasn't part of the deal.
Come home.
You breathe a fucking word about what you think you know, I promise you your kid's gonna be an orphan.
Okay, hey.
No domestic abuse.
Take it outside like everyone else.
Come home or else.
Come on, big boy.
You're next.
Do you want one? They're on sale.
Maybe.
They're so cute.
Let me know if I can help with anything.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
- Hey! - Where is he? You can't just come in here like that.
- Gallagher.
- Who? So my wife comes to me shaking.
Wedding ring's missing.
Cleaning woman? Super? I grabbed the phone, pretended to report it to the police.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I pawned the ring for a few rocks.
Worst part? I didn't even share any of it with her.
Look, look, anyway, that was-- that was six years ago, and every day I thank God that I'm here instead of back there.
Okay, same time tomorrow.
If you have a court card, come up and I'll sign it.
Hmm.
Hope we didn't disturb you.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
I just-- I don't have a drug problem.
No, not like I do, but I don't think I do.
I-I really don't.
I just need my card signed so I can go look for a job.
Might be able to help you with both.
Seriously? Full disclosure, I-- I have a felony.
You and 90% of everyone else here.
I did a year for solicitation.
Tell Juan that Kim sent you.
That is so nice.
It's not hooking, right? It is hooking? Puts food on the table for my kids.
_ Thought you served your time.
You see the lockers? That was you? I'm kind of a badass.
You wanna have some fun? Yeah.
No, I'm fine.
They're trying to help.
Get your hands off of me.
Dad, please.
- Need blood pressure.
- Fuck off! - Come on, dad, stop.
- Get out! Sir, we need to take you to the ER.
- Fisher, on three.
- No, no.
One, two-- Jesus Christ.
I do not want to go to the hospital! Sir, are you refusing treatment? You're leaving? Can't force him.
Well, why? You bitch! I thought you needed some help.
I never should have tried to find you.
Don't say that.
It's not a mystery that men leave you! I don't want you to leave! That's why I called them! I don't want you to leave! Okay.
I don't know what else to do.
Something for the pain, please.
Don't move.
I will be right back.
Yeah, Lowenthal Bridal? Yeah, it's Sheila Jackson.
Yeah, I need to move the wedding up.
Is there any way I could get the dress sooner? How 'bout tomorrow? Engels, a genius? More like Marx's glorified butt buddy.
_ Shit.
Shit, hold this.
_ _ What'd I do? - Mandy! - No, I didn't! Ow, fuck! All right, okay! Okay, just-- just once though.
- Come here! - Shit! Okay, you didn't want that answer? Excuse me, excuse me.
All right, look, we're done though.
We're done.
Okay? All right, I got a girlfriend.
Maybe I should do yours like you did mine.
Okay, but only in the ass, all right? - She's saving herself.
- Fuck this.
Shit.
Hey, hey, hey! Get off him! Get off! - All right, all right.
- Knock it off.
Let's see some ID.
Both of you.
You go to school here? Look, I don't-- I don't know him, officers, okay? You know, he just-- he asked if I wanted to buy any crack, - and when I said no-- - Fuck you! Hey! Uh, so what do you wanna do? I can get my hands on some firecrackers and gasoline.
Cool.
I shot a Mac-10 before.
But never one of those.
It's fake.
Looks real.
Need it to if we're gonna get the guy behind the counter to give us all the money in the register.
Don't have to.
I can do it alone.
No, I can do it.
Sure you're ready to pop your armed robbery cherry? Yeah, I've done it lots of times before.
You're cute.
Black or camo? Fiona, hi.
Did you not get your last check? No, I-I did.
Um I have a favor to ask you.
Sure.
How you holding up? I've been better.
I was wondering if, uh, instead of being fired for misconduct, you could make it so that I was downsized? I don't-- - I wouldn't ask if I had any other options.
Let me see what I can do.
You have a hell of a lot of nerve.
You know, I-I-I withheld judgment when my brother brought you home.
I said to myself, "She can't help where she came from, how she was raised, who her parents are.
" My mom and dad invited you into their home.
They let you sit at their table with our family, and in return you destroyed Mike.
All of us.
And now you come here and you ask if we will lie for you to the federal government.
You think that you're a good person.
You're not.
Destroy your own family.
And leave mine alone.
Empty the register! Is this a joke? The cash! Now! Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I'm just gonna hand over my money to the lollipop guild.
Whoa, shit! - Holy fuck.
- Get the bag.
Sorry.
Okay? Take it.
You said it was fake.
You should have seen your face.
How much we get? You keep it.
That was awesome.
I think that guy crapped his pants.
Tomorrow let's hit a bank.
Hey, you find Gallagher? Yeah, excuse you, asshole.
You watch baby? No.
The fuck you looking at? Hey, Matty, what are you up to tonight? Thought you might be free.
Call me.
I don't give a shit if you're ten years old and playing with dolls.
You want a war, you got it.
You don't know who you messed with, bitch.
You awake? Guys are asking for you downstairs.
What guys? Here we go.
He's coming.
Okay, shh, shh, shh.
Ah ha! Get your ass down here, Frank.
What is this? Couldn't bring you to the bar.
So we brought the bar to you.
Even John Wayne Gacy got a last meal.
Got him, fellas? We got him, doll.
Here.
Get your ass over here, Frank.
Come on.
We got something over here for you.
Yeah.
Have a seat, man.
- That a boy.
- There you go.
Got a frosty brew for you here.
Can't.
It's non-alcoholic.
Add that to the list of things I thought I'd never see.
Obama's birth certificate, and now Frank drinking O'Doul's.
Oh, please, don't tell me you're buying that forgery.
It was certified! It was certified? I'm from Kenosha.
I could have a certified Hawaii birth certificate sent here in 20 minutes.
You are never convinced.
Of him being born and having it sealed, the whole nine.
Yeah, that's-- that's-- that's-- I shoulda told the fucking cops that it was you! I shoulda told them it was you! Hey, hey, all right.
Everything was great, and now it's fucked! Everything is fucked because of you.