Shrill (2019) s02e05 Episode Script


1 Excuse me, sir.
What's in this mystery pack? Rabbit jerky.
It tastes like ass.
Quite the salesman.
How much for this hat? $10.
What? I would have paid $1,000.
Hey, what's happening? You went pee 30 minutes ago.
I fell asleep out there.
Let's go.
What do you think of this hat? I mean, gorgeous.
I know.
And it's only $10.
What? Wait a minute.
D you can't distract me, okay? We need to go.
We told your parents we'd be at the hotel 20 minutes ago.
We'll get there when we get there.
You know how much I love mini-marts.
Yeah, but it's your cousin's wedding, and your whole family just flew in from all over the place, right? So we need to go.
Stop stalling.
Here's $20.
You need to get two hats.
So bossy.
Sounds like someone needs a little wining and dining, if you know what I mean.
Wining, dining, 69-ing.
ANNIE: Okay, come on.
Is it really gonna be that bad this weekend? I mean, it'll be amazing at first.
And the next day, a little less great.
And by the last day, I'll be chewing my own arm off to escape.
That's the way it always goes.
Okay, but it might be different this time, you know? I'll be there.
We can make it fun.
No, you're not there to have fun.
You're there to be my emotional support animal, okay? Do not let people pet you.
Okay, but you'll also have Lamar.
Oh, really? I will have Lamar? Ma'am, it's actually not like that, okay? I'm a happily taken woman.
This is gonna be 36 consecutive hours of over 100 judgmental Nigerians in one place.
It's not gonna be easy.
Okay, but it's Abby's wedding.
Like, no one's gonna even notice that we're there.
That makes it worse.
They always compare me and Abby.
Well, tough weekend for Abby then, okay? She should be shakin' in her boots, because you are a certified perfect angel.
See, that is what an emotional support animal does.
- Aww.
- Thank you.
Bow wow, my bitch.
Does that mean you're gonna give me little treats? - FRAN: Yeah.
- ANNIE: Okay, good.
- FRAN: I'll feed you scraps.
WOMAN: I thought I saw you at the airport.
Look at you! - CHILD: It's over here.
- Look! It's our Frances! FRAN: Hi, Auntie.
And she brought her white wife.
Oh, no, no.
This is my best friend, Annie.
But I'm happy to be the white wife for the rest of my white life.
Oh, my sweet Frances! Oh, hi, Mum.
- I've missed you! - I've missed you too.
You look so beautiful.
- And look at you, Annie! - Come get your father.
BISI: Both of you, so gorgeous! Hey, you girls carried all this heavy luggage yourselves? Now you're just showing off.
Oh, my God.
"Wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em.
" I don't know what this means.
- Finally.
- Hi! LAMAR: What's happening, sis? - Hi.
- Hello.
BISI: You girls had me worried.
You are three hours late.
Mum, please.
We're only 45 minutes late.
- There was a lot of traffic.
- Oh, really? We came from London, but we're on time.
You're always late.
You were late for your own birth.
I was in labor for 53 hours.
The hottest summer on record.
You always bring this up.
I mean, you haven't seen me in eight months, and this is what you want to talk about.
Well, we would have more time if you were on time.
Mum, please.
There was traffic.
- Oh, look, a baby.
Aw, look at that baby! Ah, always works.
Let me get these to our room.
That got so real, so quick.
Are you okay? What? That was nothing.
- We were just saying hello.
- ANNIE: Really? 'Cause I felt like that amount of honesty would have slowly seeped out of my mom over the course of 20 years, and you guys covered it in two minutes.
I'm honestly impressed.
- ALL: Whoo! - WOMAN: Cheers! And every time I took Frances and Lamar out shopping when they were very little, Fran would run off.
Just disappear.
Once, I found her standing in a toilet.
What? Eww! Fran, you were a very bad baby.
Oh, my God, I was exploring.
So, Annie, will you be taking this opportunity to fornicate again with my son? - LAMAR: Dad, calm down.
- What? - Dad.
- ANNIE: My God.
I'm so, everyone just knows everything.
BISI: Yes.
It was just easier to tell them about your stuff, 'cause that way they don't ask about me.
- Wow, thank you.
Eat! If you don't clean your plates, it's a slap in my face.
- Ah.
- Annie, this is our sister, Bunmi.
- ANNIE: Hi.
- The mother of the beautiful bride.
IYAWA: I love weddings.
It's the beginning of everything.
Then you live, and then you are dead.
- Iyawa.
- Wow.
She's the worst.
LAMAR: Congratulations on the wedding, Auntie.
Lamar, when will I be coming to your wedding? I'm not engaged, so you won't be, all right? IYAWA: You have a good job.
You should be looking for a wife.
Hey, Annie and Lamar have been having sexual relations, so there may be something there.
Oh! So white wife is for Lamar? - LUCKY: Why not? - Fuck, this is the best moment of my life.
O-okay, wow.
And we're just we're back at it again, and I love that.
- I love it too! - You love it too.
Fran is nearly 30, - and she's not married, so - FRAN: Lamar! I even let you sleep with my white wife.
Fran, that is shameful.
I can introduce you to a nice Nigerian man with a beautiful home.
An ER doctor.
You'll never have to see him.
For the millionth time, - Fran is a lesbian.
- IYAWA: So? You can be a lesbian and marry a man.
Haven't you met your Aunt Ife? [LAUGHTER.]
LUCKY: Aunt Ife.
Oh, my God! [LAUGHTER.]
Where were you? I was just getting some air.
BISI: Where have you been? You missed breakfast.
Late again.
I know.
I overslept.
No need for apologies.
Just get ready.
ABBY: So what do we think? [ALL EXCLAIMING.]
BUNMI: So gorgeous! Aww! - You look so nice.
- BISI: I'm beside myself.
Tell me, where are you going for your honeymoon? We're holding off for a year, until after my residency.
- BISI: Aww.
- I can't believe I'm so lucky to have such an amazing daughter, who blesses my life every day.
A daughter who has found love, and is a doctor.
ALL: Yay! You are so fortunate, my sister.
And you.
Soon Frances will be a lawyer.
Your mother tells me you're applying for law school.
How wonderful.
I didn't know that I was.
She is still thinking about it.
FRAN: No, I'm not.
Sorry to be such a disappointment, Mum.
Fran, don't be sensitive.
I was just having a conversation with my sister.
I hope that Frances will find her way, just as Abby did.
Please don't talk about me like I'm not here, and please don't lie about me.
Calm yourself, Frances.
This is not the time.
I don't need to figure things out.
I like what I'm doing with my life.
Hey! Your mother and father were supportive of you when you chose to be gay! You could at least get a better job! - ANNIE: No.
- ABBY: Please do not Chose to be gay? I didn't choose to be gay.
I am gay.
Just like you didn't choose to be ignorant.
- Did you call me ignorant? - All right, Auntie.
What do you teach your daughter? - Don't yell at my mum.
- BISI: Frances! You must treat your aunties with respect! I did not raise you this way.
Why do you always do this to me? You could never be on my side.
This is why I never go home.
Do you know how much your mother sacrificed for you? - What has happened to this girl? - Everybody, stop.
Please don't ruin today! Please don't ruin today! Be happy, or I'm going to scream.
Save it for the brunch tomorrow.
- Abby.
- Nobody care about the brunch.
Abby, it's okay.
It's okay.
- Are you okay? - No.
She looks so beautiful! - She is.
How cool is that cake, right? It's, like, crazy.
Not not crazy weird, just it's just a cake.
And not not weird at all.
It's actually it would be the same cake at, like, a white we a white's wedding as well.
WOMAN: It's this way.
Follow me.
Oh, you guys.
Will you help me with my dress? - Oh, yeah! - Thanks.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
I haven't peed since I was an unmarried woman.
So is this the happiest day of your entire life? Because I know it's the happiest day of my mum's entire life.
You know, I never would've thought it would be this good, but it is the happiest day of my life.
- FRAN: Aw.
- Aw, That's so nice.
I wish I could be good like you.
It'd make things like this so much easier.
I hate that they compare us.
You know, I'm just a freak whose life goals just happen to be what my parents want.
- Fuck off.
- Okay, can you let me reach past your pussy and get some toilet paper? - Of course.
- Seriously.
And it's not fair that when our family left Lagos, yours moved to London and mine moved here? [BRITISH ACCENT.]
I could have been fuckin' British.
Instead, I'm from fuck-turd Oregon.
Yeah, I'm absolutely perfect.
Tell that to my mother.
Okay, Fran.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I'm serious.
You're the coolest person in this family, and you know that.
So stop playin'.
Yeah, Fran, you should just talk to your mom, you know? You don't want it to get bigger.
Okay, so, should we go back to my wedding now? Yes, you beautiful virgin bride.
Ha, ha! Yes, virgin.
Um, you guys go ahead.
I'll be there in a minute, okay? - ANNIE: Hi.
- LAMAR: Hey.
'Sup? I kind of feel like I'm 14.
Like hiding behind the school assembly right now.
Come on.
You never ditched a school assembly in your life.
Yeah, but only because I was in them doing skits about how drinking was bad.
Although, skipping them was kind of my, like, sick fantasy.
I can't.
I want to.
Like, I really want to, but I'm in a relationship.
And it's kind of a serious one.
I get it.
It's totally fine.
ANNIE: Okay.
I'm just glad that you ditched the guy that was treating you like trash.
Yeah, well, it is that guy.
It's the sa it's the same guy.
What? That piece of shit? But he he's really different now.
As long as you're happy.
I just think you deserve more.
Okay, but I am happy.
And he and I we're actually in love, so I actually think that's enough.
I'm sorry.
RATIONALE: They come together, look we're together You can't let them slip away You can't let them slip away A good thing together, so unpredictable - Mum? - Frances.
Look, I don't want this to fester between us, okay? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry, too.
I should never have said anything about law school.
And don't listen to your Aunt Iyawa.
It wasn't easy for your dad and me when you told us you were gay, and we're still trying to understand, but we want you to be happy.
I know you don't think like she does.
But I need you to know that what I do with my life is not to make things harder for you.
Yes, but sometimes it feels like you do things - just to be rebellious.
- Maybe when I was younger, but now, I do what I do because it's what I want.
I know.
You've always been unafraid, which is why we thought you were leaving so that you could achieve something unbelievable in your career.
But, Mum, I'm not a lawyer on purpose.
Doing hair gives me freedom.
I'm my own boss.
That's pretty unbelievable, I think.
Yes, that's true.
But what is hard for me is we thought you came here to do something you can't do back home.
You can do hair in London.
But you want to be here.
Away from us.
At first, yes, I thought it was to get away, because there were so many expectations that I knew that I would never fill.
But then I went away for school, and I found a life that fits me.
It just happens to be far away.
But you and Dad will always be my first home.
I love you.
I love you too.
You're not like anyone else.
You will always be the baby standing in the toilet.
RATIONALE: This feeling tonight I know I weaken when I ["CLUB JYRATION" BY KELIKUME PLAYING.]
Fran? FRAN: Mm? ANNIE: Fran, can you move over a little? Be careful.
That's how I got my first ever black eye.
All right? I mean, she won't even move.
It's like she's stronger when she's sleeping.
Do you know what? Just take my bed.
I can sleep on the floor.
No, you can't sleep on the floor.
Um We're adults.
We can share a bed.
We can.
Good night.
Yeah, good night.
Um Good night.
FRAN: Aww, Dad.
ANNIE: It was so good to see you.
LAMAR: Come on, sis.
Don't cry.
Don't cry.
You're the best.
Here, take this with you.
Put a paper towel on top if you microwave it.
It keeps it moist.
So, Annie.
I heard you and Lamar slept butt to butt last night.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Really, Fran? - I didn't tell him, I swear.
Bye, Annie.
- Why are you so nervous? - Okay, bye.
BISI: Frances.
- Come on.
Don't waste time.
- Man.
You must be exhausted.
Actually, I feel good.
Even kind of special in my own dumb way.
- Aww.
- But I'm so ready to go home.
Well, hold on.
You're not totally ready.
What do you mean? - Bam.
- Aw.
You look so stupid.
I actually look incredible.
Although I do feel like dine 'em straight into 69 'em - that's a rough transition, okay? - Oh, yeah.
Ready? Ooh.
Oh, wow.
- Now you're ready to go home.
- Yeah.
JILLIAN HERVEY: Fly high like I'm NASA Move my hips like a salsa I'm like butter on a lobster MOE MOKS & JILLIAN HERVEY: We lit, we lit JILLIAN HERVEY: Got me singin' like I'm Chaka Moonwalkin' in mi casa Young queen Cleopatra MOE MOKS & JILLIAN HERVEY: We lit, we lit We lit, we lit, yeah We lit, we lit We lit, we lit, yeah JILLIAN HERVEY: All these spaceships and rockets Got me feelin' high On my spaceship I'm rockin' MOE MOKS: All these spaceship and rockets
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