Sick Note (2017) s02e07 Episode Script

The Loneliness of the Middle Distance Runner

1 This must be the front for their drugs ring.
Bingo! Gambling on a government computer, Chris? - No! I - I was joking.
You said "bingo.
" I made a joke.
- Oh, right.
- You're authorized to laugh.
I was joking again.
What are you doing? Er, just, er, usual police business.
Oh, yeah, big old spike in prescription drugs on the black market.
Now the bastards are selling placebos too, so the poor sods buying knock-off pills don't even get cured.
Scum of the earth.
That's the point of Operation Thunderbolt.
Anyway, it's good to see you back on track.
We need you, Chris.
I need you.
Top coppers are hard to come by and, er, you're one of them.
Thank you, ma'am.
Glennis is dead MRS.
IS SHE INVOLVED? I'm just popping out to get a bun.
Anyone want one? I mustn't have locked it up properly.
Well, it does sound like something you'd do.
I loved that bike.
Trusty steed! Must've been targeted by thieves.
I did call the police, but they said there was nothing they could do.
It's fine.
We'll just get you another one.
Luckily, it comes under the contents insurance.
Thank you, darling.
I'm off out now.
Don't forget to pay for the club membership.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hello, officer.
I was sorry to hear about your recent, um, loss.
Well, couldn't be helped.
I see you're handling the news rather well.
Yes, well, we have insurance, so no harm done.
I see.
Do you mind if I take a picture of you, for my files? Well, I suppose so.
Can I ask, did your husband have any enemies? Do you think there's something more to this? We're only just scratching the surface, Mrs.
I had no idea the police would take this so seriously.
It is extremely serious.
More lives are at stake.
Well, good luck with your investigation.
Let's be honest for a moment, okay? He was not a nice man.
He was blackmailing us.
He was on his way to blackmail Katerina West.
He bit my hand.
- What? - Other hand.
Ah, of course, yes.
He bit my hand.
Look, it was his own fault.
He was trying to break into her property.
He was a bit of a He was a bit of a bloody loony, if you ask me.
I know I shouldn't say this, because I am a doctor and I've taken the Hippocratic oath, but part of me, a big part of me, is quite relieved he's dead.
Thank God that he died before he got to her.
Did you fake those scans? Ah, yes, I did.
Let me show you.
I, er, swapped them over for a patient of mine who's got a smaller tumor in their esophagus.
Comme ça.
It's there.
- People are gonna buy this, right? - Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Look, see, there's your name there on the top.
Down here for dancing, up here for faking medical records.
- You've spelt it wrong again.
- Oh, have I? I'll change it.
I know I don't say this very often or ever but thanks.
I think we're actually gonna - actually gonna get through this.
- Yes.
Yes, I think so too.
As our American cousins might say, er we all good, my man.
And you haven't had any surgery? - Nope.
- Just chemotherapy? - Yeah.
- It's totally unbelievable.
Really? Yeah.
I mean, I've looked at years of records and I can't find any other esophageal cancer sufferer who's responded this well to chemotherapy alone.
I mean, not one.
My father dies, the company I'm selling is worthless, no one will buy the house because someone died there, but you you get cancer and just in a few months, you're almost cured.
It's a bloody miracle.
I'm just lucky, I guess.
I'd love a bit of your luck.
Well, er, I did recently lose a very close friend, so Right.
I can't imagine how much pain you're in, losing a trusted friend like Will.
Oh, no, I meant, um I meant my other friend, Ash.
It's dangerous to be your friend.
Anyway, I'm gonna need you to keep a lid on the good news for now.
- Why? - Well, if you suddenly get better, people will stop buying the bracelets, so it'd just be good if you recovered after the launch.
How how long after? - A few months.
- I mean, you can tell your family.
- No, he can't, Michael! - You can't tell your family.
And we don't need any more leaks, do we? Well, now, I promise, that was not me, okay? That leak had huge repercussions on my marriage.
And I'm gonna need some PR photos of you wearing the bracelet.
You are doing the fun run, aren't you? Yeah, of course.
And then we can say something about how the bracelet helped you with your recovery.
Oh wouldn't wouldn't that be lying? I'm sure you've told a few white lies in your time, Daniel.
Can this be the last time I'm used in any We Cover promotions? Sure.
As long as you keep your recovery quiet until after the launch, you've got a deal.
I think Kenny's got something to do with this.
Oh! Yeah, and I think he's up there right now, just looking down on you.
I'm sorry, but I do.
Yeah, maybe he is.
So, Sherry said that by the time we're fully paid-up members here I shall be a partner at St Frederick's.
That is wonderful, darling.
You'll be able to afford to have more bikes stolen.
Excuse me.
DANIEL: THOSE SCANS ARE TOO GOOD! - Put that down, darling.
- I'm sorry.
I'm being I'm being very rude.
I was wondering whether you and I should stay here this weekend.
Er, yes, wonderful, all right.
Well, I'll see if they've got a couple of rooms after we've finished our puddings.
One room? Mmm, one room? Oh! Ah! Dr.
I didn't know you were a member here.
Oh, do I do I know you? Humphrey Shankowic.
Remember? We had a meeting recently.
Shank owic.
Yes, yes.
And this must be your daughter.
No, she's too old to be my daughter.
Oh, don't tell me you're having an affair with a sexy nurse at St Frederick's! Oh! Wrong again.
Allow me to introduce you to my beautiful wife.
This is Annette.
- Hello.
- Hi.
How do you know my husband? I, er I've got a pharmaceutical company.
Your husband puts a lot of business my way.
Everything everything good in your world? Mmm yeah.
Great, for the most.
You know what it's like, trying to keep your shareholders happy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Well, we're just about to order our dessert.
What a delightful couple you both make.
You, so beautiful and elegant, and you such a good doctor.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Well, I'll leave you both in peace.
Take good care of yourselves.
Same to you.
Oh, and, er, stay hydrated.
You too.
Okay, so the 72 hours are up, and you are ready to take your phone out of the bowl of rice.
But don't throw the rice away.
If you go over to my cooking channel, It Tex Two, you'll find a great rice recipe for when you and your lady just want to Netflix and chilli.
Arsehole! Now for the moment of truth.
Yes! Oh Oh, oh, oh, God! YOU FUCKED ME SO GOOD I WANT THAT COCK RIGHT NOW I fucking knew it! It doesn't have a torch, it doesn't have a staple remover.
It's just not the office bracelet.
Although it does still hold paperclips.
I know.
I thought it was a great idea.
Just, at least this way, you know, it's helping loads of people.
You should be proud of yourself.
What would I do without you? So, have you moved out yet? No.
It's it's a work in progress.
I've got a few flat viewings lined up, so We still have to go for that drink.
Yeah, why don't we go after the photo shoot? Okay.
Hey, can I, um Can I tell you a secret? Yes.
I love secrets! Um I'm getting better.
What? Yeah.
That's wonderful news! Oh, my God, yeah! Why aren't we celebrating? I can't tell anyone yet.
Not for a few months.
Not until the campaign has raised a lot of money.
I'm just telling you.
Oh-ho! I'm over the moon for you.
So, Darren, you've come to us today with quite a good idea of what you'd like to get out of this.
Yeah, well, it's our first venture.
You know, my dad was a builder Becca? Open this door.
I know you're in there.
I know what you did! I know you had an affair with Ash! You can't hide forever.
Were you with him the day he died? What happened? Hey, Athan.
Look who's here.
Daniel, good to see you again, mate.
Welcome to my workshop stroke studio.
I make films, take photos and repair bikes.
I, er, specialize in penny farthings.
I didn't realize people still rode those.
You'd be surprised.
Shall we get inside? And please, keep the noise down.
General Gordon didn't sleep well last night.
Who's who's General Gordon? Yeah, I'm not really seeing the bracelet.
Do you wanna hold it up a bit, sort of show it off? You look too tense, mate.
Imagine you're a candle in Westminster Abbey, softening as the wax drips onto the statue of William Gladstone below.
Yeah, I don't I'm really hot under these lights.
Switch for the ceiling fan's over there.
- The black one.
- Oh, I'll get it.
You've set the alarm! Sorry! I think it might've been my bracelet.
- For fuck's sake! - Sorry.
Thought it was on silent.
- Hey, Vanessa.
- Hi, Daniel.
I need to tell you something.
Yeah? You still still there? Yeah.
I need to tell you I need to tell you how great you are.
Good luck with the charity run.
Oh, er, thanks.
Benny's crying.
I'll catch you later, Daniel.
I have to go with Athan and General Gordon to the vet.
He needs me to drive him.
We think he's having a heart attack.
So we'll have to grab that drink tomorrow, after the run.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
I'll show you hard you slut! Right, let's see what we've got.
What? But you're dead.
Are you a ghost? He's alive.
Any news about Will? No.
He's still dead.
First Ash, now Will.
That's two of your best friends.
Well, two of your only friends.
- Yeah, it's mental, innit? - Well, apart from your doctor.
Let's hope nothing happens to him, or me.
So, you're doing your fun run tomorrow? Yeah.
- You don't have to come.
- Oh, no worries.
If you don't want me there, then it's Daniel I'm going to bed.
You know, I think someone did fall from that window.
What? Yeah, I think they tried to get in through the window, the drainpipe broke - and they fell into our bathroom.
- That's ridiculous! It was squirrels.
- I saw.
It was squirrels.
- Yeah I don't know.
Good night.
Fucking hell! 07700 900843, Dr.
Iain Glennis speak Oh, yes, yes.
Yes, this weekend.
It's a special occasion.
Well, yes, I was wondering if we could arrange, er, to get a bottle of your finest champagne delivered to the room upon our arrival.
How much? What about your fifth finest? How's about giving us a nice smile? Best legs since 1978.
Thank you, kind sir.
Seems to be a bit of an issue with me paying cash.
Now, my issue is that I have Get in! Get in! Come on, I'll buy you a glass of white wine.
Please leave me alone! Go, go, go, go, go, go! - Shit! - Bloody lesbo! - South Thames Police.
How - It's Haywood.
- I need to speak to the Chief right away.
- Henchy's not here.
It's Operation Thunderbolt.
Shouldn't you be at your desk? I'm at a doctor's appointment.
Yeah, it's a big drugs bust in South East London.
1400 hours.
Iain Glennis kidnapped by masked men in a black van.
Unable to give chase due to lack of transport.
I suspect the doctor's associate Daniel Glass is behind the kidnapping.
Can we have a big old round of applause for Daniel Glass and We Cover? Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Great appreciation for all your efforts today.
Absolutely fantastic.
Hello, We Cover insurance.
- Live a great life.
- Hello there, I'm a friend Excuse me, I'm a friend of Daniel Glass.
Is he in the office today? No, he's doing the Live A Great Life fun run.
Welcome to the Live A Great Life fun run.
Don't forget to get your wristband.
All for a great cause.
A new charity drive in association with We Cover insurance.
Where's the photographer? Oh, he's nearly here.
He had to visit his parrot in hospital.
I don't suppose you've seen my wife and daughter, have you? - They said they were gonna come.
- I haven't.
Is everything sorted out now? No.
I just want to impress them with my running times.
- Did they say they were coming? - Well, it's in the shared calendar.
Who cares? I'm sure they'll come, Michael.
- Oh, here's Athan.
- Finally! Soz.
Couldn't find anywhere to lock the penny farthing up.
How's your parrot? General Gordon's under observation, but I think he'll pull through.
- General Gordon? - Hey, group selfie.
Okay, make it quick.
Technically it's not a selfie, but Kimchi! Three, two, one Off you go, guys! Best of luck to you all today, here at the run through Crystal Palace 5K Um, I hope you don't mind, but I'm just gonna press on ahead, ‘cause I've got a personal record I wanna beat, so - Really gonna need that drink after this.
- Oh, yes.
I can't wait.
Daniel, you can't do phone calls while running.
You'll get out of breath.
Sorry, it's my doctor.
Must be important.
- Oh.
Catch me up.
- Yeah.
Hello? I need you to do something right away.
I'm a bit busy running a fucking marathon.
The drugs we sold were placebos.
- What? - I need you to go to my house.
Annette isn't there.
Go into my bedroom.
Their cash is in the wardrobe.
Would you please bring it to Shank's flat? Shank? You need to do it now, or he's going to kill me and then he is going to kill you.
Do you understand, Daniel? Oh, yeah, all right, okay, I'm on my way.
Daniel is on his way with your money.
I haven't had to kill anyone for six years.
Crumbs! Shit! Don't be hasty.
You see, I'm treating someone who is pretending to have cancer.
Well, that's disgusting.
Who'd do that? I switched down out his medication, so I started giving him placebos.
Placebos? Yes! Ended up selling you the fake pills.
Who fakes cancer? Come on! - It's your little ginger friend.
- Yes! I'm not letting you out of my sight, you little bastard.
Who fakes cancer?