Single Father s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

Yeah, hurry up with it! You be late! - Yeah, I want those! - Yeah.
Lucy, dress! What are you doing, come on.
- Are you having cornflakes? - Lucy, hello.
Does anyone want toast, I made a pile of toast.
It's not toast cos you burnt it.
That's not burnt, that's perfect.
I'll eat it.
Do you want to go and see how your brothers are doing? - Yeah.
- Mum Good, you're ready.
What's the matter? Nothing I just wanted to say good luck for the exam.
- Thank you.
- Come on, hurry up.
Ewan, do as you're told.
- Right.
- Coming.
- And you're gonna pass, OK? - Bye, Dave.
OK, let's have the blue-screen in.
The blue screen.
Tanya? Tanya? Blue screen.
Oh, yeah! Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi, is he here? Yeah.
Dad? Hi, just letting you know we're here but I'm feeding 'em in the car so they don't kick-off, yeah? Cos they're at that age when they can hit out now, you know! Yeah, right, OK.
OK, can we give Miss Tyler a big round of applause for playing this morning.
Thank you, thank you.
Guess what, Miss Tyler has to go for an exam today, so shall we all wish her good luck.
Good luck, Miss Tyler.
Look, sweetie pie.
It's OK.
Yeah.
I'm not actually quite ready.
Sarah! Bye Everybody say, "bye".
- Bye.
- And good luck! Maybe if we try one in and one out that would be good, wouldn't it? - We could try it.
- Get the dummies.
Yeah.
It's OK.
I've got food.
What's that? You want to take a photo? That's good, that's good.
I love you too! Dad Are you OK? Sorry, that just came out! Single Father Part 1 Hi, how's it going? Everyone? - What's the matter? - Mum's the matter! And if you'd been here it wouldn't have happened! Ewan?! - What's going on? - What's that? - Dad?! Dad, have you heard? - Yes! It's an egg, it's not a real one.
Have you tidied your room?! Have you cleared it, Hoovered it? No, of course not! Will you go and do it, please! The day before Rita died.
She says we can't go to the match this afternoon, - not even Ewan! - And where've you been?! Getting the eggs for tomorrow! You know where I've been.
Don't all come down, go back up! Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Stay out of this, I am dealing with this! I can't ask what happened? She shouted at us for no reason.
I asked you to do your rooms - and help tidy up down here.
- We did help! - You made water bombs! - OK, OK, OK, OK! - Your mum's right, isn't she? - Great, thanks, Dad! - God, you're so gay! - What did you say? - He said, "Dad's gay".
- What does "gay" mean, Ewan? Are you saying your father's homosexual?! And if he is, what's wrong with that? Right, OK, now, listen! If you want to call him useless, call him useless! Listen! Listen.
Listen.
Your mum's got her exam tomorrow! - Which is very important, Ewan! - So's being a mascot.
I've waited two seasons for it! You were asked to do was help tidy up so your Mum could revise while we were at the match.
That's not much to ask, is it?! - No.
- No! Luckily, you're not wanted here this afternoon, - so you will go the game.
- Yes! If, if, if you've done everything your Mum wants done! And she'll be the judge, so do it properly.
And if you do, we'll put the new tent up! Yes! What's so special about you? You've got to help as well.
Go on.
I've been so horrible to them! Why am I like this? What are you like? You're hopeless.
- Everything will be all right.
- Don't think so.
I did a practice paper.
Look, you just need to pass.
I got 23%.
Oh, right, OK.
I'll stay and help, Tanya's going, she can look after them.
I want to.
I'm staying, I'm staying.
I want to.
Thank you.
Saturday afternoon action at Firhill.
Introducing the teams - Here they come! - Where's Tanya? She's down the front taking pictures! - Come on, Ewan.
- Ewan! Look at that! Look at our wee boy, don't you wish we were there?! Watching him being an advertising hoarding? No, thank you.
Rita, seriously, look, come on.
Come on, you're supposed to be helping.
Yes, yes, sorry.
How are you doing? No, you're What are you doing? A minus times a minus is a plus! Minus three, times minus two, is six.
It's not minus six, it's plus six.
- Six! - Why? It doesn't matter why, you're not teaching Maths, are you? - Of course I am! - Yeah, but to infants! Not if I don't get on the course and without this I won't, and I won't because I'm crap! Hiya.
Hi, Sarah, hi, is Matt there? - Yeah.
- Is he doing anything? Hang on - No, nothing.
- Great.
- Do you wanna speak to him? - Yes, please.
Matt's coming over.
- Why? - He used to teach maths! Yeah, so you and me'll do the simple stuff.
No no, no.
No, you just confuse me, I'll wait for Matt! Go and do something else.
Go and put up the tent! Don't make me do the tent.
I won't be able to do the tent.
It will just be embarrassing, you will embarrass me - in front of my children.
- Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, dear.
- Hiya, Rita.
- Matt, thanks for coming over.
- How's it going.
- I'll leave you to it.
- Algebra, - What's he doing? cheer up, we'll get through this no bother.
Dave.
.
? How's it going? You OK? No, I'm not.
Brand new tent, you open the bag and there's no instructions! OK.
I mean, I think they're all colour-coded or something.
Yeah.
- Hang on.
- What? Diffused light, coloured light, it's quite flattering.
See.
OK, so all I have to do is walk round in a tent? Do you know what they have the nerve to call this tent? I mean this particular model.
The Balmoral.
Really.
No, really, this is the Balmoral.
Look, a wee window! You think Matt's tamed her yet? Why, has she been a cow? See that's why she's going to be such a great teacher, kids love her.
Then every now and then she gives them a little bit of cow! The magic formula.
If she can just get this bloody exam.
So, what's the verdict? I predict a C grade.
But she got 23%.
23 out of 50, 46%.
She'll be fine.
That, on the other hand, is inside out.
The tent's supposed to hang from the frames, not over them.
Well, there's no instructions, you see.
- You mean them.
- Hey, guys, they're in the garden.
Hey! Look at that, look at you.
You look great! - I do, don't I! - What was the score? 3-0.
Look, have a proper look now! Yeah, very good.
Take it off now.
I've seen it.
- But why? - Because I've asked you to.
You and me, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
I need you! Let's go.
Dad, can we sleep in the tent tonight? We'll see, we'll see.
This is how you can keep that shirt on.
Go on.
A bit more, a bit more perfect, perfect.
Now just one more thing, sometimes you get your mum to change her mind after one of these.
There you go, one slice.
She's so sweet.
- And growing up.
- Yeah.
Yeah, maybe that's the problem.
Maybe I don't want to be a teacher.
Maybe what I really want is another baby.
Well, it is, I know it is.
- You've got four already! - Just one more.
Wanna join us? Yeah, go on, we'll have 'em together! - I've got 34 kids, it's enough.
- Come on.
No.
No! I like my weekends.
I like my holidays and I like time to myself.
Sarah, you're not allowed not to have children, you'd be the best mum in the world! Yeah, well.
Matt says, no.
He doesn't want kids.
- Please Please! - What? You don't ask him.
What, do you think Dave wants another baby? You don't even consult them, we just do it! Rita, that is outrageous.
Sarah? We've got to shoot, yeah? It's getting a bit intense.
Look! - Terrific.
- That's great, isn't it? Yeah, great.
I'm gonna dump the cardboard and bottles on the way to the game.
Nice to see you, Sarah.
Recycle, I'm sorry not dump them, recycle them.
- Do we need any shopping? - On the way to the game? Yeah, I'm in a team! We play on Sundays! But not today.
I've got an exam tomorrow.
- Yeah, and I've got a match.
- I need to revise.
Rita, you're gonna pass, OK.
You're gonna pass, so Have a rest and give it a rest! - I'm not arguing about this.
- Who's looking after the kids? You complete selfish wanker! Take him, Jimbo! Take him! Yeah, when I say "take him"! Dave, Dave, coming for a pint? No, I can't, I've gotta get back.
Go on, just the one! Jimbo, I'd love one, I'd love two, but I can't! - Why, what is it? - Nothing.
On you go.
No, go on, it's fine.
- You sure? - Yeah.
It's just, When you split up with your first wife.
I'm sorry, I can't remember her name.
- Michelle.
- Michelle.
Am I right in thinking, there was, there was no-one else involved? - No, no-one, no.
- Right.
So, did you like just know you had to go? Erm, yeah, pretty much, yeah.
Yeah, see that's how I feel.
Yeah, yeah, I just want rid of her! Jimbo, I'll see you later.
Dave.
Dave! The boys are in the tent for the night, don't go out.
- I've just settled them.
- Why are all the lights off? Cos Lucy's staying at Martine's and Evie's asleep, and I'm in bed.
- Dad's home.
- Roger, over and out.
Come and get your apology, come on.
- You've got your old diary out.
- I know, it's exam fever.
It's taken me back, I got the urge.
Get off! I'm selfish, OK.
Not you, me and I am so lucky to have you.
Mum Mum? - Yeah, what's the matter? - Have you asked him yet?! - I'm just about to.
- Ah, come on, Mum.
Am I feeling a wee bit hijacked here? I've said they can have a dog.
I know you don't like dogs.
It's not that.
It's We're out all day! Yeah, no not a puppy, a rescue dog, fully grown, house trained.
Come on, they've always wanted one and I've been so foul.
Your Dad says, yes! I did not say, yes! What kind of dog, what type? A wee one, a tiny one, one with batteries! - Come on, Mum! - In the morning, over and out! What? I've got to saw that egg in two for tomorrow! So, get up early.
Yeah, get up early.
Give yourselves a round of applause.
The day Rita died.
Just sit nicely.
We could try one in and one out, that'd be good, wouldn't it? Yeah, we could try it.
Get the dummies, get the dummies.
What's that? You want to take a photo? He wants to take a photo, what do you think? Yeah? That's good, that's good.
I love you too.
Dad.
Nice shot.
Hi, I'm sorry, I'm really late.
The cab didn't show and I had to wait cos I was on the bike.
Sorry, I know I'm late, I'm sorry.
It was my fault entirely.
I screwed up We did call you at your work, but your daughter said you were on your way here.
The boys are being looked after in the Infant's with Evie.
Because? I'm so sorry but there's been a most terrible accident.
Rita was hit by a police car on the way home from school - Sit down Sit down - No No Where are Do they know? Do they know? Mr.
Tyler.
Just stay here, - Where are the kids? - just stay here.
- Where are the kids? - They're upstairs.
I've got to see the kids.
I have to go and tell Lucy.
- Dad, she's at orchestra.
- Yeah, I know.
- Can I come, can I tell her? - No.
Because I know Lucy calls me Dad, but I'm not really her dad, am I? - Who's her real dad? - She doesn't have one, does she? Dad, yeah, no, no, you don't have to come round.
I've got Tanya and Sarah here and Anna and Beatty are coming over, So, Dad, hang on a sec there's someone at the No, I've got it, speak to your dad.
Evie, hang on.
- Yeah.
- More flowers! - I'm sorry.
- Thank you, Margaret.
Get that shirt off, Ewan.
You know Mum hated that! Dad, Dad, Dad Sorry OK, OK Come on, come on, come on Come on, come on, come on Come on.
- Get of! - Stop it! - Let go, Tanya.
- No, come on! And stop Evie doing that! They're not flowers like that! Mum only likes flowers that grow! Doesn't she? Hello.
- Who are you? - I work with Rita.
Well, this is Rita's mother and I'm her sister, so can we come in? - Yes, - Anna! No, it's fine.
Dave.
Hi.
Never be ashamed of being afraid to tell me something.
Fear is nothing to be ashamed of.
Everybody is ashamed of something They're going through a red light on a busy street, why? They're going where? What is so important that it's worth risking that for? - Do you want one? - No.
The ex-wife makes an early move! Well, we all know why she's here.
And her.
Stop now.
They're friends, they're helping! Please! No-one has their ex-wife as a friend.
She's here for one thing only! And we know the biggest traitors in life, don't we? Friends! She was my best friend! I know.
I know.
My sweetest, dearest friend, and she's just gone! I can't go back in there like this.
Why don't I take you home? Yeah.
Can you just tell them I've had to go? Just get in the car.
MY LOVE DIED TODAY A TWO MINUTES PAST TWO.
Off the bike, please, sir.
Maybe this is what I wanted.
Sorry, sir? Beg your pardon? I should punch you out by rights, d'you know that? Are you threatening me, sir? Right, one more time, off the bike.
Have it your way.
Bike registered in the name of David Michael Tyler.
What? The traffic fatality in town today The woman on the bike hit by one of our cars.
Sorry, mate.
Let's go.
Take care, sir.
10 weeks after Rita died.
Mum, where is my swimming trunks? Evie, Evie! - I dunno.
- But I've got swimming today.
Where did you put them? - I didn't put them anywhere.
- Look in that rucksack! - Which rucksack? - Where are you going, you haven't eaten anything? - I'm fine.
- Dad, they're wet! - Dad, they're wet! - You're going swimming! I know but I wanna put them on now! Come here and eat your breakfast, come on! Ewan, come on! We need letters for the school trip today.
- I'll phone.
- Dad, we need letters, or they won't let us go.
Can I have tuna and sweetcorn for packed lunch? - Dad! - Yeah, yeah, where is your lunchbox? Well, where did you put it? Told you to watch the toast! Can we name the doggy tonight? - Course we can.
- What shall we call him? Can we call him Pigsnatch.
Yes.
I'll have a think.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
You need proper names.
- Something like Messi.
- Have a good day, - see you later.
- Bye, doggie.
- Go on, see ya.
- Bye, Dad.
See you tonight, doggie.
Bye, Dad.
Oh, you wretched wee thing! Filthy little beast.
Dave?! - Dave? - Yeah I'm getting it.
No, it's the dog! It's urinating again.
- Everywhere! - I'll wipe it up in a minute.
- Hello.
- Mr.
David Tyler? - Yeah.
- Susan Cairns, Education Liaison Officer.
Do you want to.
.
? Afternoon.
In here? Can I just ask if Lucy's in? Lucy's at school.
Yes, if only she were, Mr.
Tyler.
Her attendance record of 13 days out of a possible 45 during the ten weeks since her mother has died, - is cause for concern.
- What're you talking about? She goes to school every day! Mr.
Tyler, that is from the school.
But I haven't had any texts.
I haven't written any sick notes! You also haven't responded to any of the letters we've sent you.
No, I'm her guardian! But you're not registered as such.
Registered.
I'm doing it, so! - Yes But, for whatever good reason, you are not fulfilling your obligations.
And Lucy, at 15, is required, by law, to attend - school.
- She will, she will, I promise, you've just got to understand, I didn't know about any of this! Thanks for coming.
Thank you.
You shouldn't have shouted at her.
Phone Robin, you're going to need a solicitor.
- I'll deal with it.
- That is dealing with it? Have you any idea how powerful these people are? 0 Anna - No, if you're not gonna phone him, - I'll phone him.
- Just be quiet for a minute I just need to think about this, cos the only thing that matters is Lucy! It's like trying to manage the house on your own! You can't doing.
You need help.
OK, I've got to get to the studio, so, heartfelt, yeah? For all the weeks of shopping and cooking and cleaning, for nearly everything, thank you.
But you don't need to pop over any more.
I'll manage myself, and you can leave the door keys on your way out.
Preferably now.
Do you wanna give us a clue? We're doing a brochure at the moment.
Scotland Street School Museum.
Yeah.
And we've got architect models on Tuesday.
Sure, OK, bye, bye.
- Hello? - Ah, good! Sorry, it's Robin.
- Oh, Robin! - Cheers.
Sorry.
Yes, I know, I've been pestering you.
Come on.
- What? - This is about Lucy.
No, no, no.
No, the The police finally contacted us vis-a-vis a propos compensation for Rita.
Oh.
Yeah, responsibility for which they're not contesting/disputing.
I mean, there will be an inquiry, but that aside, I just wanted to give you an idea of the figure I have in mind.
- Can I leave this to you? - No, really no.
It's a life-changing amount of money.
Robin I can't put a price.
Really, I'm not interested.
Please? Yeah? Thank you.
Sorry, Robin, I've gotta Yes, course, sorry.
Yes, I'll With regards to Lucy, though, I strongly recommend a warning shot across the bows of that Education Liaison Officer and a stiff letter to the school, asking why they've taken this route, given the circumstances.
And, you know, with all due credit to Anna, I seriously think you should consider the possibility of adopting Lucy.
Because, as it stands, your position is, if put to the test, unfairly untenable.
Dad, I just don't go to registration, OK? And when you don't go to registration, I don't know, they - They what? - I don't know, this happens! Why don't you go to registration? Because they keep asking me how I am and I don't need reminding how I am, OK? So I just go to lessons! OK, so why haven't I had this letter from the council? - I don't know, letters go missing.
- Come on, Lucy! What, we're the only household that doesn't happen to? Phone the school! Phone the teacher! - Phone my English teacher! - You want me to phone the school? - Phone my English teacher! - Why the English teacher? I've got homework to do! I've got a history essay to write! I mean, she comes in like she's been to school.
You know, complaining about homework.
I mean, so convincing.
They're terrible liars at that age.
But doesn't her school text you if she's absent? Yeah, to Rita's phone.
And Lucy texts back as if it's you? Forges sick notes, intercepts letters, although she says not.
Compulsively devious.
But what's she doing if she's bunking off? And how do I get her to talk so she can say what's really happening? God, I don't know.
Come on, you teach year 11s! No, I shout at them, I sneer at them, they hate me, I hate them, and in the sixth form, we renegotiate! Can you write "Pigsnatch"? - Write what? - Pigsnatch.
I'd tell her why you're worried, how you're feeling.
Do you want us to hang about and occupy the others? - I've got marking to do! - Come and see the doggy! Dad, when're we doing it! After supper, put the pasta on! Tonight's the naming of the dog, so I'll try again in the morning.
Don't worry.
Yeah, but if she's not going to school, where is she every day? Who's she spending it with, and how's her head? I mean, Paul, Ewan and Evie are amazing most of the time, cos they escape, they they get engrossed in things like we never can, or if we did, we'd look mad.
Talking to little plastic figures two inches from your face.
But when you're 15, you can do stuff to yourself.
And once in awhile, I see her getting grabbed by the here and now and the where we are And the look on her face! - Hey.
- What? When are you and Matt going to have kids? Er - Sorry.
- No, Sorry, sorry, no, i'm just I'm veering away from a black hole! It's none of my business.
Straight into another one.
Babe, we're gonna have to go, you know, sorry.
Dad, Anna's on the phone! Tell her I'll call back tomorrow.
All right, thanks for coming over anyway.
Cheers, guys.
Right, guys, final secret ballot! We're down to three names.
- And the nominations? - Messi.
Buster.
And Boy.
You put one cross for Messi.
Two for Buster and three for Boy.
- And four for Pigsnatch.
- Yes, and Pigsnatch.
One, two, three, four.
It's gonna be Messi.
Pigsnatch.
And the winner by an overwhelming majority Is Boy! - Boy! - Hi, Boy! - How many votes did Buster get? - One! No, 0.
5.
Half sisters only get half a vote! What did you just say? - Fuck off, Ewan! - You are in serious trouble! - She kicked me! - Go and say sorry, and you had better mean it! - Oh yeah, and kicking's allowed? - Now! Move it! Sorry, Lucy.
There! OK, everyone in here! Come on.
Come sit down.
- I want to show you something! - What are we doing? Right, who remembers this? Who remembers what your Mum had just said? I do! She said thank you to Paul cos he made the cake! Very good! You're good at this! But what did she say next? She said "Thanks, Paul" - then what? - I don't remember.
Yeah, you do.
Just look at it.
Don't try to remember, just look at it.
I love you lot! And she still does.
And there's loads more photos like that we can look at.
So I'm telling you, whatever's going on, it's gonna be all right.
- Dad? - Yeah.
Anna gave us a load of DVDs we can watch.
Can we watch them? Bring them here, let me see.
Ewan, not Bolt, he won't let us watch it.
Everything's going to be all right, is it? Well I don't think so.
- Why do you say that? - Why do you think I said it? I don't know.
Because the others have all got you.
Paul's got you, Ewan's got you, Evie but What have I got? Beatty's not mine, she adopted Mum, Anna's not mine.
Only Mum was mine, and she's gone now, and I'm not part of anyone.
It's like, it's like, everyone chooses "Boy" for the dog.
Well, Evie wanted Pigsnatch, so You're not my dad! - No, I'm not, no.
- No.
You don't even notice when I'm not at school! I want my dad! I want my dad! And I'm gonna find him! I don't know how, but I am.
Cos I'm not part of you, and you don't care! Ewan, Ewan, just leave him for a moment, just leave him.
OK, there's "Ratatouille", "Shrek III" and - Aye, "Nanny McPhee".
- No to all of them.
Okey-dokey, how about "My Life As A Dog".
Anna brought "My Life As A Dog"? Yeah.
- Can we watch it? - Yeah.
Thank you.
- You all right? - Yeah Lucy! Lucy! Paul, you're holding the fort.
Sarah! Sarah, can you go round the house, I've left Paul in charge! Lucy's run off! I'll call you back! It's Lucy, she's run off.
I'll see you in a bit.
Hi, Martine.
It's Paul, Lucy's brother.
Have you seen Lucy today? - Ask, "Is she with you?".
- Is she with you, Martine? Have you got any idea where she might be? Do you know where she is at all, Martine? - Anything? - Not yet, but we're phoning round her friend, we've done Helen, Martine I don't know any of them.
That's the joke, I don't know her friends, don't know who they are, where they live, where they live, what they're called, Rita did all that.
Good joke! Evie can't read! Watch what you like, watch anything.
Bolt! Put Bolt on! - Dad! - It's fine, it's fine.
Enjoy it, it's fine.
Yeah, can I speak to Penny, please? It's Sarah, Rita and Dave's friend.
Yeah, we're looking for Lucy - Dad? - Yeah, I'm OK.
Go and watch the film.
I'll be down in a sec.
Dad! Dad! She's at Beatty's.
Lucy's at Beatty's! Yeah, great, thanks.
And Anna and Robin are bringing her back! Great, great! Dad, just come and watch the film with us! Yeah, yeah! But don't wait, I'll catch it up.
Just having a wash.
Hey, listen, she went straight to Beatty's! Yeah.
I can't do this I can't do this, I can't do this without Rita.
I miss her, I miss her, I miss her so much! Fuck! It's brutal to miss her, every moment.
I mean, I know other people miss her too, I know they do, but they weren't with her all the time, every day, every day.
So some of their life, for odd moments, is maybe still the same, but You know, don't you, you know? Yeah, I do.
I can't do this! What? What? Yes, you can.
Dave, you are a great dad.
Look, you can and you will, and you're not going to be on your own.
- I should - Yeah, Lucy.
- Eh up, pal, Sarah's here, yeah? - Yeah, yeah.
Hiya, Dave.
Hi.
Next Time It's not like I wanted to come back.
- I didn't.
- We both know - what happened, and - Yeah.
This mustn't make us awkward with each other, because it was just innocent.
I'll do everything I can do find your dad for you.
Rita would go to her room, she'd write in her diaries Beatty, Rita's diaries! It's like I don't know who she was.
Someone's replied about Rita.
I'm sorry, you're telling me that you're her father? You can't have children, can you? There are some things you don't speak about, young lady.
What's going on?