Sister Boniface Mysteries (2022) s01e09 Episode Script

Sister Town

I hope you brushed up on that German of yours, Sister.
Oh, yes.
Brushed, buffed and varnished, Mayor.
Or should I say geburstet, poliert- All right, we get it.
Oh, hold on to your hats.
Gosh! That's Herr Fischer? Or Herr Disher I should say.
The interview I was planning just got a lot more interesting.
On behalf of the Sister's of St.
Vincent's Convent.
Thank you, how very Mayor Hartley.
Iris, how wonderful to finally meet you in person.
Deputy Mayor Diggory, hello.
Which must make you Inspector Gillespie.
Sam, please.
Great to meet you, Herr Fischer.
Friends call me Karl.
As Mayor of Grosse Kienitz, thank your for all your work in the twinning of our two great towns.
Rodney Bishop.
I'll go.
What, don't look at us! - I am so sorry.
- A-ha! Please, no fuss.
You can't make the beautiful omelette, without breaking some eggs.
They have it out of their system now, so what more can go wrong, huh? Order! Order! Order! Please! Order is in short supply in my Post Office, just clod hopping boot prints from corner to corner! - Exactly.
- Absolutely.
I can't understand a word these Russians say either! - Germans, Dotty.
- Mayor Hartley.
These visiting soldiers, they're upsetting my regulars at the Spitfire.
I had to bar a couple last night.
Singing our National Anthem, drunk! It's a scandal.
Order! This meeting was called to arrange final details.
I'm not quite sure what you expect.
- Something better.
- Sam, as head of Twinning Committee.
They're just boys away from home having some fun.
Let's give them a bit of leeway, eh? That's easy for you to say, it ain't your pub! I understand how you feel, Bertie.
It ain't your brother who died in the war, neither.
That pub was half his! You didn't complain when we asked to host the civic dinner there.
Look, your Anti-Twinning Committee made its case.
We put it to vote, and it passed in favour.
By one lousy vote.
With people forced to tow the party line, ain't that right, Deputy? I may, I have had my doubts about this endeavour, but we must respect the democratic process.
This twinning is happening! And you may not know it yet, but everyone will get something out of this.
- Lederhosen.
- Delightful.
The traditional attire of Bavaria.
Why don't you try them on, Sam? I'm sure they'd look splendid.
Thank you, Ruth.
I think that's enough photos for today.
Didn't realise we were hosting Himmler himself.
Sam, I shall truly know we are friends when you are wearing these in our honour.
And I thought a little gift for your offices, Mayor Hartley.
How lovely.
And in return, allow us to present - wine.
- Oh, yes.
Grown and produced here in Great Slaughter, by our very own Sister Boniface.
Absolute, we all want to try.
Sister, may I say your German is most impressive.
Oh, thank you.
One doesn't like to blow one's own trompete.
I translated in the war.
Were you active also in the war, Mayor? Yes, I volunteered for the Red Cross.
What about you, Sam? - Infantry.
- Luftwaffe, myself.
When your boys shot me down over Leeds, I saw out the war in Eden Camp.
-Oh, I must say- -Must we keep talking about the war, Karl? It's just talk, darling.
In the morning, I thought it best we have a bit of a run through.
A dress rehearsal before curtain up, and all that.
You too of course, General Stark.
Most congenial.
Actually, my men and I wish to remain outside during the twinning ceremony.
Ah, nonsense! We want everybody there! Let's make a toast.
To friendship, God willing.
And how you say? No more sour grapes.
Mm, lovely.
Halt! What are you looking at, Fritz? Eh, you got a problem? Right Rodney Bishop, if you don't do one right now- You'll what? I'll tell all your mates that Tom Thomas had to fish you out of that cess pit last Christmas, when you got tipsy on your dad's cider.
I must say, I admire a woman with authority.
General Start of the 15th Panzer Division.
Udo to my friends.
Woman Police Constable Button.
- And to your friends? - Peggy.
I sincerely hope to earn the honour of that nomenclature, during my brief sejour.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must attend a rehearsal, and my men must polish their weapons.
First item we'll have in the running order is the unveiling of our new joint memorial.
Herr Fischer, as German Mayor, - we hoped you'd do the honours.
- Yeah, of course.
And may I say, your town hall really is- I'm sorry, we do have less than an hour.
Ellis, could you quickly demonstrate? If you really can't work it out.
Single draw string, pull and.
The memorial to the fallen.
It is my hope that with this twinning, we might put the past behind us.
With this in mind, Mayor Karl Fischer now has something he wishes to unveil for us all.
Flipping heck, what did you do? Come here, give it to me! - He's dead.
- Oh, no! We'll need to contact his family.
I'm so glad they weren't here, such a terrible accident.
I don't think so, the accident part I mean.
Four steel pins up there on the wall for the memorial, but the four nuts to hold it there, missing.
This was rigged.
But that means murder.
I'm afraid it's worse.
Logic suggests the intended victim was Karl.
Gerrymandered for Gerry, if you like.
Someone would really do this? Are we in danger? Please, don't panic.
Who else had access to the hall after the rehearsal? The front doors were locked.
We're the only ones who get in and out, apart from Ellis.
And Bertie Bishop.
He was helping him put up the plaque this morning, I believe they're all friends.
Herr Fischer, do you have any other connections with someone here? Any communication from someone who might bear a grudge? - No.
- Are you absolutely sure? All of you? Well "Last chance, stop.
Just stop, stop.
Send Kraut home, or someone gets hurts, stop.
" I didn't wanna cause a panic, I just thought it was some local nut job.
No addressee, surprise, surprise.
Hang on, this stamp.
This telegram was sent from here in Great Slaughter.
The senders form, no name.
It was left in my inbox.
I don't critique telegrams, Inspector.
I simply send them out.
Besides, I don't approve of this civic union, and neither would my Cyril, God bless his dear departed soul.
Young man, kindly remove your grubby hands from my bonbons! Thank you, Mrs.
Sir, can you tell me why Felix now appears to have a shadow that bears a resemblance to somebody in a nun's habit? Look, keep your conjecture out of circulation until we know more.
Oh, so it was foul play? Sorry Sam, but you know the interest in the thing.
The public appetite.
Which is why I'm asking.
Non Committal, the lone wolf.
And yet here you are, the life and soul of this twinning.
Why is it so important to you? Ruth, I'm asking as a friend.
It appears our gerrymanderer had the foresight to wear gloves.
A formidable foe.
- Would you mind? - Of course, Sister.
- Oh.
- Do you have something? If by something you mean some kind of smudge, it's mostly evaporated.
No, I'm going to need more than that.
There must be something, Felix.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Wait, look.
A water droplet.
Oh bravo, Felix.
Yes, droplets.
Clear liquid, presumably the very same as was smudged up there on the wall.
Oil, for loosening the nuts.
Let's see if Percy the pipette can't help us find an answer.
Hold the line, we may just have another caller.
One hit man's hanky.
Oh my, it looks quite damp.
This is all anti-twinning correspondence? - I had no idea.
- Yeah, well.
Didn't wanna burden the Twinning Committee.
- What's this? - Oh, that's unrelated.
It's the invoice of fitting the memorial.
Wait, a mixture of printed and cursive letters.
The loop on the bottom of the S.
I don't believe it, this is our match.
-But it can't be, that's- -Ellis Everett.
Your threatening telegram came from the murder victim.
This is ridiculous, are you telling me that even he was against the twinning? I'm afraid so.
What do you want, Bertie? Just to deliver this.
It's a formal signed petition to delay the twinning indefinitely, in respect of Ellis's wishes.
Only the messenger.
Bureaucratic bull.
He can't swan in here and demand we postpone.
Unfortunately, he can.
With this number of signatories, I'm duty bound to put it to the council for a vote in the morning.
Please tell me you have something? Gird those loins, I believe I may.
Sweat and, or saliva, presumably produced by the killer in the effort of rigging the bronze plate to fall.
I believe it's why we found this.
In here is a handkerchief.
Now everything I've seen so far, suggests our sweaty slayer used it to wipe their face and neck.
Sadly, it's standard cotton.
It's near impossible to trace.
So, it's useless? Oh, ye of little faith.
Come on, give it a jolly good snuffle.
What is that? Smells kind of sweet, fruity.
I presume it became infused with the cologne, perfume or cream.
Ergo, if I can identify precisely what, then Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt.
These are the people who had access.
Bertie Bishop opposes the twinning, and Laurence Diggory only voted for it under pressure.
They both have a motive.
General Stark- Not exactly chummy with Karl.
And Elsa, you can cut the tension in that marriage with a chainsaw.
So they've all got motive, except for Iris Hartley.
I think we need to find out more about Karl Fischer.
I'll run a background check.
And I'm gonna talk to an old friend from the forces, see if the Eden Camp had any records.
Until then, Sister, pray.
If this vote doesn't go through, all of this will have been for nothing.
Roger that.
What is going on? They are laughing in our faces, that's what.
Look! - Rache.
- Rache.
It means revenge.
Which one of you Sauerkraut's did it, eh? Lock 'em up, Peg doll, lock 'em all up.
You're not helping.
Right, everyone needs to go home, okay? Let us deal with this, go on.
I assure you Inspector, this is not the undertaking of my soldiers.
Perhaps it would help if I was seen to be assisting in some way.
Excellent idea.
Button, as of tomorrow, General Stark will be assisting you.
But Sir, dad will kill me.
That's settled then.
Well, the morning then.
Most of this I got from a source I cultivated in Karl's offices, had a thing for feurige englische frauen.
Fiery English women.
- Anyway.
- Anyway, it's all here.
Marriage, finances.
The elephant in the room, Karl was penniless before he married Elsa.
Heiress to an enamelware dynasty, old family money.
He even took her name in marriage.
Oh dear, Peggy, are you poorly? I wish.
Mum says I have to take one if I forget my glass of orange.
I suppose I'll be off then.
For Queen and country, Button.
What's this? Eden Camp, I got it from the North Yorkshire County Records Office.
- Is that Karl? - Ever the ladies man.
Lucky girl.
Shall we tell Elsa? Now, why would I want to ruin a 10 year marriage of convenience? His status, the Mayorship, it's all because of her.
Uh, uh, uh, not so fast.
What's it worth? I'm thinking an interview.
Sam Gillespie, why this twinning is so important.
His experience of war laid bare.
Good try, but this is now evidence.
And the last thing that Great Slaughter needs is reminded of the war.
Sister, you're up early.
Cosmetic shopping, but that's not why I'm here.
Well, I've got to get to the vote at the council.
Yes, and the Lord detests a gossip, but Sister Redge said that Nurse Mayfield heard from Mike the Mechanic at the Spitfire, that Laurence Diggory plans to vote against the twinning.
But he voted for last time.
Under duress, and if memory serves, the twinning only squeezed through by a single vote.
The trade arrangements affect real livelihoods.
You know, one German company begged us to block the whole thing, said it would ruin them.
It's about more than just business, though.
Look, you were in the army, weren't you? Royal Warwickshire Regiment, yes.
Well, so was I.
And don't you wanna put all that behind us? Make amends for all the things we saw and did? But Inspector, the person who did this is still out there.
My first time, so Here goes.
Council, there are nine votes.
For a motion to pass, we required a majority of at least six.
Five, Dotty.
Of course, five.
Silly me.
Now as Chairwoman, I shall remain entirely impartial, so those who wish this awful twinning to proceed, please raise a hand.
A no from Tom.
Only four in favour, is that everyone? Last chance.
Going Going Five! Well then, I hereby confirm.
The twinning will go ahead tomorrow.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood, spending half my annual budget on creams and colognes.
Money well spent, I assure you.
Although in this case, none of them matches the chemical makeup of the sweat.
What? They'll make excellent additions to the Sister's charity tombola.
So, all this for nothing? Au contraire, all this was a process of elimination.
The spectroscopy tests finally allowed me to pin down our peculiar pong.
I'm waiting for the punchline.
When people with a glucose deficiency run out of sugar, their body starts burning fat.
That in turn produces ketones.
Now crucially, ketones are said to have a distinctive smell, just like pear drops.
- That's what I could smell.
- Precisely.
The smell on the hanky, that's the saliva and sweat itself.
I believe our killer has diabetes.
Gold star, Sister! But how do we determine which suspect has diabetes? A urine sample? Erm, yes.
It is a joke! Your famous British sense of humour, huh? I'm afraid not.
She's saying they should have left.
We hide in fear in our hotel, only to be called for this.
I cannot, I only just went.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I'm not quite sure I can go on demand.
Perhaps we might bring a sample at our leisure? Sorry, it has to be done here to ensure no tampering.
I'm happy to, if it's useful.
I was also there, of course.
May I have a glass of water to help? Whatever gets the mill wheel turning.
Take your time.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to leave you in Sister Boniface's capable hands.
There's a blow for diplomatic relations.
They looked at me like I was taking the, well come to think of it, that's exactly what I was doing.
What have you got? While they go about their business, here is another.
The German company that Laurence mentioned, you remember the one he said tried to block the twinning? Yes, go on.
Well, he was right.
- I beg your pardon? - That's its name, Kuckuck.
It's German for cuckoo, I believe.
An old family business, they supply precision parts for cuckoo clocks.
Of course they do.
The problem is, this new trade deal means a local company here is able to undercut them.
So the twinning will ruin this Kuckuck company.
Exactly, a family destitute.
And guess who's family? I think it's a paintbrush bristle.
Yes, conceivably from a round haired brush.
A brush with bristles tapered for detail work.
How'd you know all that? Oh, I admit, I recurrently dabble.
In my own time, landscapes and such.
You see, Bavaria is a very beautiful place.
I've never been abroad.
Tried a curry once.
I think you would like my hometown very much.
What's it like then? Like a fairytale, with forests and mountains.
I still recognise it's sublimity.
My family think me excessively fanciful, but they make the parts for clocks.
Cold, sharp.
I am no machinist.
Well, my family are all butchers.
I'm no butcher.
So we are both the little black sheep, quite the team.
Sergeant, greetings.
Do you require something from me? Actually, yes.
Actually, no.
I understand it's unorthodox.
It is an inestimable insult.
I am willing to admit that I was opposed to the twinning.
If you must know, I begged Herr Fischer on behalf of my family.
This was not an inconsiderable exercise for a man like me, perhaps you can imagine.
But Herr Fischer would not be turned.
He was adamant Grosse Kienitz will be twinned with this town, and nowhere else.
And why is that, General Stark? A very good question.
Regardless, I am a soldier and I follow orders, even if they run contrary to my feelings.
I had assumed, Detective Inspector Gillespie, that you, as a former military man, would understand this.
I do, it's why I have no choice but to ask this of you.
He seemed nice.
Do you think General Stark's a wrongun? Well, he was right about this bristle.
Horse hair, fine.
Probably used for detail work.
You know, I do believe there's dried paint on here, as well as the red.
Oil based.
I can see blue and possibly green.
Can you like, scrape it off? Well, I reckon I could identify it.
Then I reckon this vandal messed with the wrong WPC.
You're sure? Yeah, all right.
Good chat, we'll speak then.
A development? My friend is sending over some army documentation on the Eden Camp, but something came up, a name.
- One of those photos.
- Who's name? The Mayor.
Your background check confirmed that she'd volunteered in the war, yes? For Red Cross, but we didn't know which camp.
- Not Eden Camp? - The very same.
The one that Karl recovered in after being shot down, the one he spent the rest of the war at.
It is, that's Iris bloody Hartley.
As it happens, we were in love.
Very much.
He was just a boy.
I nursed him, and well.
I begged him to stay, but he knew his family would be worried about him, so.
He promised to come back, only- He never did.
He hurt you.
In ways he never knew.
I was pilloried for my entanglement.
Sleeping with enemy is what they said.
It's the reason I came down here.
He destroyed my life, and just marched back into it.
And you had no idea at all? How could I, he changed his name.
And now suddenly he's here giving gifts, and acting like I'll fall back into his arms.
Is there any way Elsa might know about this? It's precisely what worries me.
And for our final tinkle test, Frau Elsa Fischer.
Excuse my German, but according to these tests, none of our suspects has diabetes.
Perhaps you got this one wrong, Sister.
Fiddlesticks and fudge, it makes no sense.
There must be someone else.
We have our list of suspects, unless you think somehow I perpetrated the crime.
I'll stop you there, I was mainly being facetious.
Force of habit.
But one thing is clear, we're missing something.
Unless it's being concealed from us.
It says here that Karl Fischer was shot down, and he was arresting wearing the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
He's a war hero.
He certainly kept that quiet.
I think it's time for a drink.
You think I came here, that I brought my wife, to try and win Iris Hartley back? I had a heart attack last year, it was nearly the end, and it made me think about the pain I caused her.
It has haunted me.
But she never replied to a single letter.
Why didn't you tell us? Because I didn't want Elsa to find out, and I still don't, hmm? Elsa always feared I married her for money.
She knew there was a British girl, but I promised her she was nowhere near Great Slaughter.
Well now you know everything, hmm? Not quite.
The Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
That? I was awarded the Knight's Cross for my services on the night of the 14th November, 1940.
You flew the Coventry Blitz? Churches, hospitals, hundreds of people.
There was never any honour in that.
So, I am ashamed.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Oh, and Sam.
Room for eine kleine one? Miss Penny, please sit.
I was just finishing.
Sam, I am sure you have your reasons for wanting this twinning to go ahead.
For me, that is what it means.
I bid you goodnight, my friends.
Tomorrow, we shall be twins.
Good night.
Why is this so important to you? It is the war, isn't it? You know, Karl isn't the only one I researched.
Second Lieutenant Gillespie.
Sandhurst Training, 1940.
1st Battalion, Suffolk Regiment on Sword Beach.
Witnessed heavy losses, hand to hand combat.
A bayonet injury to your left shoulder.
I'm not one of your stories, Ruth.
Good night.
Good night.
Let's go home.
Whoever tried to kill you.
My love, I have to see this through.
But why? Why, Karl? It's her, isn't it? The girl you talked about from the war.
It's Iris, that is why we're here.
It's not what you think.
What is going on? Where is Button? I barely saw her this morning, all I could glean was that she and Sister Boniface had some kind of paint related breakthrough.
George Royal Red, British Blue, and Spitfire Emerald Green.
Oil based gloss paints, all ordered to 22 Langford Road, which is the Spitfire public house.
Yeah, Bertie Bishops place.
Oh look, Sister.
Fresh job.
Red, green and blue.
If you'll indulge me, I'd say he's painted himself into a corner somewhat.
Bishop, we need to talk about the vandalism.
Rodney? Quite right, Tom.
Well shall not be moved! All right, you lot.
- Be reasonable! - Reasonable? Like forcing my Peg doll to work with him! You should be ashamed.
And you can go home and all.
Bishop, do not make me arrest you.
Arrest me? Arrest me for what? How about malicious damage to the Great Slaughter war memorial.
What are you on about, that's naught to do with me! It was you? You did it? I thought, it's what you wanted.
You said whatever it takes.
My own son defacing our memorial, lying? I'll give you whatever it takes! Please, this is what hatred does to us.
General Stark, you and your men have been falsely accused.
Peggy will write up the report, but if it was up to you, what would you do with the culprit? Thanks for the lift, Sister.
Not sure why this had to be done before the ceremony.
Well, always good to crossed one's T's, and dot one's lower case J's.
Vitamin C, most efficacious.
There they are! Lost those yesterday.
Someone's snaffled the lot, this was nearly full.
What is it, Sister? I think we'd best make haste.
I just wanted to say a few words.
I always felt the twinning was important.
For Gross Kienitz, yes.
But also for myself, personally.
I had no agenda, Iris.
No romantic intentions.
I had found so much happiness in my life.
I just wanted the chance to say sorry to those I have hurt.
That is all.
And you know, all of us sat here have experienced the suffering, during the years our two countries were enemies.
I remember when I first saw your beautiful country as a prisoner, I was put to work in the fields one day, and I realised that it was just like home.
Oh, dear.
Many of us who lived through the war have guilt, guilt we carry with us always.
And so, it is not for forgiveness that I ask.
- I must say, I'm impressed.
- Not to forget.
You asked for a glass of water, most clever to use vitamin C supplement to mask the urine test.
I thought about all the harm done.
Increasing your levels of ascorbic acid, most ingenious.
For your sake, Sister.
Walk away.
I'm terribly sorry, but you see, I can't.
It would fly in the face of my hastily concocted plan, which is to distract you.
No, please! Stay back, Laurence, what are you doing? Something I messed up before, but I won't again.
Royal Warwickshire Regiment, you're from Coventry.
Yeah, what's left of it! For Queen and country I suffered, and when I came home, all I found was rubble! My mother, my father, my sister! Karl Fischer murdered my whole family, and then they gave him a medal for it! Well, he deserves to die.
Maybe he does, but what then? Will you feel better? In front of his wife, your friends? Standing over him, seeing him die.
You think the anger goes? It doesn't, I promise you.
It stays and it gnaws at you, like a wound that just won't heal.
Laurence, I know that this man suffers every day for what he did.
Let him live with it.
How did you know to reach him like that? Towards the end of the war, my Battalion followed a group of Germans into a forest, just outside of Bremen.
I stumbled on a fox hole, a single soldier.
And in that moment, it was him or me.
Barely had the time to pull the trigger, but I did.
When I rolled him over, he was just a boy, like me.
All I could do was hold him until the end.
Hardly the stuff of legends, eh? I'm so sorry, Sam.
I had no idea.
Achtung! I had hoped for atonement, however the strength of feeling tells me it is not the time.
For that reason, I believe there will be no twinning.
It's time we simply bid auf wiedersehn.
What are you lot all so upset for? You forgotten what he's done? Yes, for those of you who don't know, Herr Fischer killed people.
As did many of us around this memorial.
Arthur, you sank U-boats in the Navy.
And Horace, you bombed Dresden.
You wanna know how many lives I took? No, and I don't wanna talk about it.
But I wanna know that all that suffering and blood wasn't for nothing.
That it led to peace, and to friendship.
I want these people to be our friends.
Well, you made it back in the end.
Apology accepted, Herr Fischer.
You know, you're all right.
Peg doll, well.
She could do a lot worse.
Peggy Button, I wonder if you would do me the prodigious honour of becoming my penfriend? Yeah, all right then.
Where is Sam? I thought he wouldn't miss this for the world.
Oh, I believe Karl and Sam had a little arrangement.
Oh, here we go! Not a word, Sister.
I'll give you five minutes.
Oh wunderbar, Sam, come on! I'm a dab hand at the leg lift.
- No.
- Yes.
Let's slap those thighs.

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