SMILF (2017) s02e10 Episode Script

Single Mom Is Looking (for) Family

1 - LIZZY PARKS' "ALL THAT" PLAYING - [BASKETBALL BOUNCING, SHOES SQUEAKING] Baby, don't you know I'm all that? Yes, I'm all that Yes, I'm all that and a bag of chips I'm all that [WOMAN SINGING] You got the cream and the cat Baby, don't you know I won't share, no, I won't share Share you with another girl - [GRUNTS] - [GLASS BREAKS] [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] BRIDGE: Oh, sorry.
- This yours? - BRIDGE: Yeah, thank you.
- WOMAN: Come on, Norma.
- [ALL CHATTERING] - Whoo! - Aww! [ALL CHATTERING, CHEERING] - Okay, baby, come on.
- Oh! [ALL CHATTERING] Jo, take it! [JO GRUNTS] Got it! Oh! WOMAN: You know, if I could put the ball - in the ocean, I'd be happy.
- WOMAN 2: Oh, Jesus.
WOMAN 3: Doesn't look too swollen.
WOMAN 4: Okay, so so any plans for Christmas? WOMAN 5: Oh, nice.
So I have the whole family comes over I cook all the time.
And, like - Are you guys here every week? - WOMEN: Yeah.
Have a good night.
- WOMAN: Bye-bye.
- WOMAN 2: Bye.
[ALL CHATTERING] So then the firemen lifted me high, high, high, high up into the sky.
- LARRY: High.
- High up into the sky.
And they carried me down the stairs, and in that moment, I knew everything was gonna be okay.
And now it's four years later, and it's your birthday.
The doctor came and pulled me out.
No, the doctor didn't.
We pulled you out in the living room.
That's what I was trying to tell her, too, buddy.
I want to go see my birthday.
You want to bury a birthday wish? Let's go and see the Birthday Fairy, come on.
RAFI: Bury it deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep.
Pour some water on it.
Make a wish to the Birthday Fairy.
[GASPS] Okay, now it's time to go to sleep so your present will come.
- LARRY: Okay.
- BRIDGE: Okay.
RAFI: Feliz cumpleaños a ti Feliz cumpleaños a ti Feliz cumpleaños a ti How is your accent still so bad? Bad? That was good.
I could be one of those people who translates from English to Spanish.
[ROBOTIC VOICE] Say birthday.
- Cumpleaños.
- [RAFI LAUGHS] You think we're fucking him up raising him like this? - Be honest.
- He's gonna be fine.
Don't just say he's fine and gloss over it.
- How do you really feel? - I'm not glossing over it.
I'm serious.
You want to know how I know he's gonna be fine? What? 'Cause eventually we're gonna end up together.
Nelson, she's gonna leave me for this rich athlete, and it's gonna be like musical chairs.
And it's, like, eventually just gonna end up with you and me.
I'm gonna be fat when I'm 60.
I'll be fatter.
You? Look at this.
- You could never be fat.
- Like you are? - You didn't answer the question.
- What question? Just whenever he says good-bye to you and he cries, or he says good-bye to me, and I just feel like all of that's gonna add up, and it's not good for him.
He's gonna be fine.
How can you say that? 'Cause I know.
- Rafi.
- What? - What are you doing? - [LAUGHING] No, no, and no.
What are you doing? - [LAUGHING] What? - [SIGHS] - You can't do that.
- It was accidental.
- "Accidental"? - Sorry.
No, we have boundaries, and you just stepped over the boundary.
" Pillow wall.
Pillow wall, cement wall.
All right, cement wall.
- [SIGHS] - [KEYS JINGLING] I'll be back tomorrow.
I'll come watch Larry for your shift.
Hey, thanks for letting me play basketball.
- [DOOR OPENS] - Anytime.
[DOOR CLOSES] [SIGHS] MELLOW MUSIC [SIGHS] MILO: Happy birthday To you Happy birthday To you Happy birthday Dear sweet 16 Colleen Happy birthday To you Milo? BRIDGE: Rafi, where the fuck are you? I have to be at work at ten o'clock.
- Fuck.
- Where are you gonna go? BRIDGE: I got to go to work.
[SIGHS] Where is your dad? He is late, late, late on your birthday Where is he? He probably got into an accident Rafi, I'm gonna keep calling you till you pick up.
[SIGHS] Birthday waffle coming in.
[WHINES] Stopped at the gate.
How about syrup, you want some syrup? It's your birthday.
You can do whatever you want.
Now now you have to drink some water, though.
Hmm? JOEY BADA$$' "WORLD DOMINATION" PLAYING I'm like if only you knew - I'm only in school for cosmology - - That's why I act as lonely as you - You see, I'm wise behind my years and peers BRIDGE: Your dad left you some watermelon.
He left it for me, too.
Here, have a piece.
So lately I've been having hard times with remembering [PHONE LINE TRILLING] [CELL PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING] What could you possibly be doing? [SIGHS] Fuck.
You want to come with me to work? - No.
- [PHONE LINE TRILLING] Hi, what are you doing? Hi! BRIDGE: Hi, happy birthday! Look who's here, it's Princess Nelly! - Hi.
- LARRY: Hello.
Oh, gosh.
God, I have my period.
[GROANS] I only have regular, though.
- Oh.
- Usually I use super-plus.
Do you think I can put two up there at once? Sure.
You probably use only, like, super, super tiny.
Yeah, I have to split them in half sometimes.
Where is Rafi, anyway? He's getting Larry a [WHISPERING] Super-secret birthday gift.
- He's so sweet.
- He is very sweet.
[SIGHS] Um, okay, well, I just need you to give him a nap before he goes to the party, - or else it'll be a disaster.
- Okay.
- It's kind of a process, okay? - Yeah, no yep.
You got to tell him a story, but you got to make it up.
It can't be something that he already knows.
So, like, a story a magical story about an animal or a garbage truck that acts like an animal.
An animal.
Yeah, no, I Yeah, Rafi and I But if that doesn't work, sing him a story.
Do you want to just try one out real quick? - Like an audition? - No, no, no.
No! I just mean, like, you know, come in there with gusto.
Like, you know what you're even if you no idea and you're making it up as you go, just, like, show him that you know what you're talking about.
Ready? One, two, three, go.
[STAMMERING] There was a kangaroo Who jumped around the house And he picked up all the toys - And he put them in his pouch - [GIGGLES] Okay.
Don't overthink it.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] [ROUSING OPERA PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [DOOR OPENS] - JACKIE: Coll! - TUTU: What? I need help carrying shit from the car! - [DOOR SLAMS] - Oh, crap.
You okay? Can't get this licorice to stick on these wheels.
You're so talented.
I dreamt I saw Milo.
You know, it got me thinking, Jack.
I mean, you know, 49 years.
That's a whole life right there.
You know, he was so handsome.
It's weird, I always heard he was a punk or something.
You were too little to know, but we were all punks back then.
[HELIUM HISSING] [BALLOON SQUEAKS] Coll [SUCKING] - TUTU: What are you doing? - [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why they call it the present.
That is just crazy.
- I know.
- [INHALES SHARPLY] [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] He looked like Desi Arnaz.
Oh, God.
- No, forget Milo.
Come on.
- No, he did, - Whatever.
- Mm.
Come on, you're gonna be moving into my house in the basement.
[INHALES SHARPLY] [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] It's gonna be me and my sister Coll living across the hall We're gonna have some fun making fun of everyone - ELIZA: You kissed him? - No, he kissed me.
And then I-I kissed him back.
- You kissed him back? - Mm-hmm.
You kissed Rafi back, and you liked it? - Mm-hmm.
- That's disgusting.
I would think it'd be disgusting, too.
- But it wasn't disgusting.
- ELIZA: Like, what did that kiss taste like? Irresponsibleness? - Unemployment? - [SIGHS] - Delinquency? - It was the best kiss I've ever had.
- "Best kiss"? - It's done things to my body.
- It has.
- Mm-mm.
It's, like, in there.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Give me, like, the tinglies.
Yeah, well, you should "unfeel" it.
You do realize that he's engaged? No, I feel bad about that, I really do.
- Like, Nelson? - Aww.
- Think about Nelson.
- That's fucked up.
Your girl.
You know what this is about, actually? - What is it about? - This is about family.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's about family.
Yeah, staying together for the kid is a unique concept that works out every time.
Why is he even being so nice to me, anyways? Leaving watermelon, covering for me? You're like the white girl in the scary movie who goes down to the basement, and she's like, "Hello? - Is anyone there?" - No.
Instead of just getting the fuck out of the house.
- [MAN COUGHING] - Love you.
That sounds like a upper respiratory infection.
Maybe an antibiotic would do some good.
What are you, a nurse or something? - Say what? - You a nurse? - Am I a nurse? - Yeah.
- Do I look like a nurse? - You don't look like a doctor.
[CHAIR SCRAPING] What does a doctor look like? - I don't know.
White coat - Mm-hmm.
- You'd need a stethoscope.
- So it's the gold chains? That's why you don't think I'm a doctor? Yeah, I mean, you you look more like an undercover cop trying to bust up a drug deal.
- That's what I look like? - Yeah.
Well, you could pass for one.
You really opened up my eyes today.
This was enlightening.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Well, I am gonna be a doctor.
I'm gonna be the President of the United States.
All right.
- You have a good one.
- MAN: You too.
- Stay handsome, Mr.
- I can always try.
[LARRY WAILING] Mama! Larry, please, come on.
There was the kangaroo And then he went to sleep No, we can't play, okay? We have to put you to bed.
- [LARRY SOBBING] - Come on, we're gonna All right, let's let's do a story, yeah? There once was a frog who lived in a pond.
Larry was the frog's name, and he was green.
Um, not doing it for you.
Can you see my belly? You see my belly? Can you listen to it? Shh, shh, shh, shh.
MELLOW ACOUSTIC GUITAR Yeah? [LAUGHS] So [SNIFFLES] once there was a very lucky little tadpole.
[WHISPERING] When the tadpole met the egg, it transformed into a bean.
A big bean or a little one? It was a little bean at first.
Yeah, it's like this big, like, right now.
Yeah, like that.
And you know where he lives? Right in here.
But can you sleep for me now? I want Mama.
[NORMAL VOICE] All right, you know what? Fine, you win.
Here, just there you go.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING] Hello? [BANG ON GLASS] BRIDGE: No, it just it flew into the window.
Yeah, I think it's breathing.
I don't what should I do? Oh, hi, guys.
NELSON: Hey, I really need to speak to you.
Here, I'll call you back, okay? This bird just crashed into the window.
Can you get a box and poke some holes in it, and maybe it'll recover? Can I please speak to you, though? I'm gonna go get this box.
I'll be right back.
Hey, birthday boy.
Are you the birthday boy? Why did the bird fly in the window? Because she thought it was clear skies.
Hey, is this the right sized box, you think? He's, like, shaking.
Okay, let me just poke some holes in it.
Just - Hey, did you nap? - No.
Larry, it's like the one day you needed to nap.
Hey, Bridge, so I really hope it was a mistake.
CVS called and told me that my prescription for Oxycodone was ready, but I didn't order the prescription.
He's such a jerk.
It's okay.
It's he's relapsing.
It happens.
Fucking welcome to life.
And I'm pregnant.
That's Um, how far along are you? Six weeks.
- Does Rafi know? - Yep.
Was he upset? [VOICE BREAKING] No, he was really happy.
[SNIFFLES] That's great news.
- [LAUGHING] - It is.
Same thing happened he was really happy when I told him I was pregnant, and then he fell off the wagon.
It's it's a lot, and he'll just have to get sober again, right? Or he's not gonna be able to see Larry or your baby ever again, so it'll happen.
All that matters is that you take care of you and the baby, and I will help you.
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.
- That's all that matters.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Hey, at least we're not the bird in this box fighting for its life.
[NELSON LAUGHS] I guess we are kind of fighting for our lives, huh? [NELSON LAUGHS] MAN SINGING GLOOMY GERMAN SONG [MUSIC STOPS, KNOCKING ON DOOR] Rafi, you okay in there? Y-yeah, Tutu, I-I'll be right out.
Jesus, I mean, how long does it take to use a bathroom? I hate when people poop in my house.
Yeah, well, I hope he uses a little Renuzit in there.
- [SNIFFS] - [INDISTINCT CHATTER] JACKIE: Well, that's why, you know, he knows, like, really what he's doing down there.
- TUTU: Rafi.
- Yeah? Would you call Bridge for me, please? - I lost my phone.
- Yeah, I got my phone.
Could you call Bridge? I'm gonna set up the karaoke machine, okay? Okay, all right.
- [FEEDBACK WHINES] Larry, it's your birthday! In my heart, you got first place! I love you to the moon and back! Who is that? When I say "Larry," y'all say "Bird"! Larry! Bird.
Larry! Bird.
Larry! Bird.
And the crowd goes crazy.
[DOORBELL RINGS] Thank y'all for coming, I appreciate it.
- Happy birthday! - [BOY] Hi.
Welcome to the party.
Here, I have a balloon for you.
Oh, you brought a present.
You're so sweet.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] A dream of togetherness Turned into a brighter mess MAN: Hey.
What's up, man? RAFI: Hey, welcome to the party, guys.
Go right on in.
Hey, Rafi, you okay? Yeah, I'm just out here greeting people for the party.
One day at a time, son.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] Coll? Coll, where you going? [PULL CHAIN CLICKS] [TUTU CHUCKLES] [MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] JACKIE: Ducks in the barn go quack, quack, quack Mama's little babies born in a shack One little duckling all alone TUTU: Oh, look, the clown finally arrived.
Look, your Aunt Jackie's performing for you.
BRIDGE: I'm here now, so JACKIE: her pale green dots - Everybody! - Nobody likes Um, where's Skye? - What? - Where's Skye? Um she she's coming soon.
- She'll be here soon.
- JACKIE: Did you like that? That's good.
And it's Larry! It's happy birthday, Larry! - ALL: Happy birthday! - [PARTY HORNS SOUNDING] [LAUGHING] Hey! Happy birthday.
I got a big surprise for you.
Oh, we actually have a surprise for you.
Um, let's go talk upstairs.
Here, Evie.
Listen to Aunt Jackie sing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, what a good idea.
Come on.
We'll be right down.
We'll be right down, we'll be right down.
- RAFI: Are you okay? - There are butterflies in the forest There are buzzards in Buzzard's Bay There are swans in the lake, how they shimmy and shake Little baby, won't you stay? [JACKIE SINGING INDISTINCTLY] - BRIDGE: Here, Raf, come sit on the bed.
What? - It's cold in here, right? It's fucking cold, right? Can I borrow a shirt or Where's Joe's stuff? Hey, you can't go through my mom's stuff.
I just can I borrow a sweater? Yeah, okay, I'll get it for you.
[SNIFFS] Hey, can you come sit on the bed? We got to talk to you.
What are you gonna talk about? BRIDGE: Raf, just come sit on the bed.
What's the surprise, Bridgette? Hey, hey, we know.
What do you know? NELSON: CVS called.
They rang about the Oxycodone.
We know.
- I know you're on drugs.
- I'm not on drugs, Bridgette.
- Don't fucking lie to me.
- I'm not fucking lying to you! - Look at me, I'm not on drugs! - TUTU: Bridgey? [KNOCKING ON DOOR] We're doing the cake.
Okay, we'll be right down.
It's okay, 'cause we found a bed in that really good place in Pittsburgh, and they can take you, and we can drive you tonight.
Bridge, that shit doesn't work for me.
How do you know? You never tried it.
It doesn't work.
What about Larry, huh? It is Larry's fucking birthday, and you're here, up here, wearing a cat sweater on pills.
Why do you always have to do that? So you're not what what's the alternative? Why do you always have to put Larry in my face, Bridgette? - Fuck.
- Nelson's pregnant.
I can't leave Nelson, I can't leave the baby, and I can't leave Larry for six weeks.
- You're already gone.
- I can't leave Larry for six weeks.
I'm not gone! I'm right here! - I'm right here! - Listen No, you're not.
You're fucking gone.
Look at me, I'm fucking trying! And you fucking keep pushing me! NELSON: Rafi, we just want to help you, okay? - What's gonna help you? - Meetings, baby.
Then let's do meetings.
- We can do - No, meetings don't work for him.
He wants to go to meetings.
Let's help him.
Oh, meetings, meetings.
You always say that.
No, you go to a meeting for a week, right? You act like you're fucking king of AA, and then you stop going.
Why do you got to say shit like that? [DOOR OPENS] - Oh.
- RAFI: Hey, buddy.
Look who it is.
You know this used to be mine? - Yeah? - Yeah.
- [GIGGLING] - Hey, buddy.
You want to sing a song? BRIDGE: You need to go downstairs, okay? Can you go back downstairs, and we'll come play with you soon? - In a second.
- Bye-bye.
- [DOOR CLOSES] - [RAFI SNIFFS] I'll drive you right now.
I'll throw away all the pills.
I just lost focus for a little second - You're gonna choose drugs over him.
- I'm not choosing drugs over Larry.
[SCOFFS] I'm having the weirdest feeling like I've I've been here exactly here before.
I haven't been here before.
I'm good.
What do you say? Is this the time For one more try At a happy life? What do you say? [PANTING] Is this unwise To think my fears Will not reprise? Whoo-hoo-hoo Ooh-hoo-hoo [GOOFY VOICE] Skye is here.
Where's my friend, Chase? Where could he be? Who's gonna fly in my rocket ship? [GASPS] With Skye? - Oh! - [LAUGHING] There he is! [GASPS] Chase, ta-da! [GRUNTS] On a great day We're already there On a great day It's always there [INDISTINCT CHATTER] BRIDGE: You did? That's huge.
- ELIZA: Took the MCATs.
- ELIZA: Mm-hmm.
- That's what they're called.
Did they call it MCAT? You know, gynecology, or - Yeah.
- On a dream day Lonely day [DOGS BARKING IN THE DISTANCE] - Hey.
- Hey.
[BARKING CONTINUES] I'm excited for this.
Go ahead.
Too much butter.
- Mm-mm.
- No? It's good.
- Yeah.
- Maybe a little.
- Yeah.
- Still eat it, though.
Larry's asleep.
We tired him out.
And Rafi's gone.
- What? - Rafi's gone.
Gone where, honey? He's, uh, relapsed.
I know.
I saw at the party.
I didn't want to upset you.
I'm just kind of scared, you know? - TUTU: Yeah.
- Um Just like, I feel like I'm living someone else's life.
I know.
Just do you want some? I'm impressed with myself right here.
It's not the way it was supposed to work out.
[TRAIN HORN BLARES IN THE DISTANCE] Well I guess, you know, we could go.
Now would be the time to go.
Go where? We could go to New York like we were supposed to go four years ago, but we stayed here.
What is it you want? I just want to be a fucking person.
World just a person in the world.
I want to find her.
What? - What are you talking about? - Open it.
[VOICE BREAKING] Mom, what is this? Travis was not my first child.
I was 16 years old when I got pregnant.
The father's name was Milo, and I never saw him again.
My parents were so ashamed, so embarrassed, they shipped me off to Ireland, told everyone I had mononucleosis.
They told me the right thing to do was to give the baby up for adoption.
I never got to hold her.
I just got a glance to look at her as they whisked her out of the room.
- You have another daughter.
- I do.
You have a big sister.
We have a-a person out there.
- Yep.
- [LAUGHING] - Yes, we do.
- And I love Guinness.
- Well, it's genetic maybe.
- It's genetic.
We got the Irish blood, and we got a sister for you in Ireland.
Cranberries is my favorite band.
- Mm, mm.
- Pretty much.
- Mom.
- Bono? - Bono yeah, he's cool.
- U2.
That's not a bad place to grow up, I bet.
BRIDGE: That was the bird, I think.
That was the bird! It's it's alive! [LAUGHS] Good thing I left the door open.
Well, always leave a door open, Bridgey, 'cause you never know when you have to escape.
Where do you want to escape to? For seven years, I let this waste me Seven years before I could face it All that time of guilt and shame I couldn't even say its name I felt sure I'd be judged This is between me, God, and Satan I felt sure WOMAN: Supahsmaht.