Sneaky Pete (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

1 [phone buzzing.]
- [buzzing continues.]
- I got nothing, bud.
Otto: I got nothing.
That's awful stupid, white boy.
- Just trying to show you.
- Hmm.
- Real still.
- Okay, okay.
[phone buzzing.]
Look, there's no problem here.
Defense of others.
Works just like self-defense.
Guy comes in here with a mask, pointing a gun at us.
He's right.
You'll never be charged.
You probably won't even be arrested.
You think I'm stupid.
- Hmm? - No.
I think you're a hero, and I'm grateful for what you've done for us.
State doesn't allow a felon to carry a weapon of any kind.
Maybe you found the knife here.
[phone buzzing.]
Hey, boss.
Yeah, it's me.
- Mm-hmm.
- You had a fuckin' gun.
We had $150,000 in cash in the car.
You don't try to do something? He had a gun too.
He was probably pretty good with it.
Yeah, yeah.
[phone buzzing.]
Mm-hmm.
- [buzzing continues.]
- Mm-hmm.
[buzzing continues.]
[line ringing.]
[sighs.]
[beeps.]
He can't answer, Audrey.
And even if he did, he couldn't really talk.
Why doesn't he respond to my texts? Lance and Grandpa are probably right there next to him.
Maybe he couldn't get away so quickwithout looking suspicious.
Oh, he can get Lance to shell out 150 grand to keep me from selling off my goddamn pile of kitty litter, but he can't slip off long enough to send us a thumbs up? Oh, you'd have a better handle on what it takes to maintain a lie.
Well, I'm just happy to see you maintain your spunk through our slings and arrows.
Your slings and arrows.
Oh, you're not part of this family? Look, obviously I'm part of this family.
I'm just not part of getting this family into this mess.
Well, you did bring Lance into our lives.
[scoffs.]
[cartoon plays on TV.]
[cartoon on TV continues.]
- Oh! - [gun cocks.]
I need to talk to your cousin.
Yeah, about his friend, Mikhail Baryshnikov? Marius Josepovich.
I told Pete you stopped by yesterday.
He didn't call? Must have slipped his mind.
Yeah, well, you know Pete.
Speaking of which, how do you know Pete? Look, I get it.
I let you give me the runaround last time.
You think you can do it again.
Thing is now I'm up against a deadline.
Yeah, and now I have a shotgun.
You ever see what one of those can do to a man's body at this range? You ought to back up.
Back up some.
Otherwise, get covered in blood.
Risk exposing yourself to all the diseases I might be carrying.
Plus it makes it a hell of lot harder to cover up.
Aunt Carly? I need you to go back inside, honey.
Grandpa says that's not a toy.
Ellen, I need you to go watch another show.
Things are fine.
I am a police officer.
Ellen, I'm not playing around.
I'm looking for Pete.
Is he inside the house right now? Mm-mmm.
You wouldn't lie to a police officer, would you? I want to tell you I trust you a hundred percent.
The thing is, when I go back to tell my bosses Pete wasn't home, I have to be able to say that I went in and looked for myself.
Not fucking happening.
Well, you know how to stop me.
It's gonna be a rough thing for Ellen to have to see, but she's young, she'll probably get over it.
Try to be quiet.
Jacob's asleep.
Let's go.
Fuck.
Do you wanna see what Audrey and your sisters did to my fucking car? They keyed it.
The Pink Lady, they fucking keyed it.
It's bad enough that they harass us, with their nuisance complaints.
You haven't been parking in their spaces? Hmm? - You coming? - Yeah, no, I've seen a keyed car before Whatever.
I just thought maybe you would like to see the damage, because you're gonna be paying to have it fixed.
- Me? - And if you think I'm gonna settle for some half-assed cut-rate You don't even know that they had anything to do with this.
Yeah, I prefer Gustavo's on Route One, and the color's a mixture of Barbie Pink Sea Pearl and Briar Rose.
You wanna tell me what that was? You came to my work, so I thought I'd return the favor.
- That's not what I want.
- Since when? I want more, Shannon.
You don't You don't answer yesterday when I tell you that I love you.
You don't answer a couple hours ago when I tell you I wanna be with you.
And then you come here with this comedy skit.
Taylor, I love you.
I've loved you since I was 15 years old.
I've never loved anyone else.
And it's starting to look like there's a real possibility I never will.
[chuckles.]
So what do we do now? I mean, what happens? [sighs.]
We can go by your place, pick up what you need.
If Sean shows up, we'll just I think I think I have a way to set us up for the rest of our lives.
I just means that I have to stay with Sean a little bit longer.
Shannon, I I don't wanna wait.
Okay? I wanna be with you.
I wanna be with you right now.
[phone rings.]
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
[ringing continues.]
Hey, Grandma, everything okay? There's a cop here looking for Pete a New York cop.
Did you tell him that your brother's on the local force? - He doesn't care.
- Yeah, let me talk to him.
My brother, the cop's on the Uh, yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Probably just as well.
I figure, you know, I don't wanna delay his search Delay his This This guy is in the house? You let him in? No.
I told him not to, but He showed you a search warrant? He kind of just pushed past.
Listen to me, Carly.
I want you to tell him that you do not consent to a search of your residence, okay? I told you, I already told him.
Tell him again.
I wanna hear you say it.
You don't consent to a search, and you'd like him to leave.
Tell him again.
I want to hear you say it right now.
Detective, I do not consent to your search of - And you need to leave! - Okay, hang on.
Don't hang up.
I'm on my way.
It's getting hotter out here I keep trying to just make my way It's no lying I'm only trying Just trust in me Trust in me Just trust in me Trust in me Just trust in me Did you get a license plate number? I couldn't see it.
How do we know that he's not a real cop? He is a real cop, okay? I called the NYPD.
You gotta tell me everything that he said from the moment you answered the door.
Yeah, well, so I was already holding the gun.
Jesus, Carly! Okay, great.
So he sees the fucking gun.
He says, what, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I'm a cop! I'm a cop!" No, I already knew that part from yesterday.
- Well, at least - Wait! Wait! You've met him before? Yeah, yesterday when he gave me that card.
He had a woman in the car with him yesterday.
I don't know if she was still there just now.
Did you tell Grandma and Grandpa any of this? Well, I told Pete.
Then I gave him the number, and he said that he would take care of it.
I guess I was creeped out by the guy's eye.
Winslow's eye? Yeah, okay, I guess that makes me superficial.
What about his eye? His right eye was messed up.
Messed up? Like, how, messed up? Like a boxer? Kind of, except the skin was, like, smooth, kind of, like Like a firework blew up in his face.
You know him? I don't know, he sounds like this guy that came into the station a couple days ago.
He left before I could get his name or even who he was looking for, but, God, I don't know, there was something about this guy, he made my my fuckin' Spidey sense tingle.
Go get the kids, okay? We can't stay here.
Yeah.
[buzzer sounds.]
[door slams.]
Eddie the Eagle, yes? Fast Eddie.
None the worse for wear.
It only hurts when I breathe.
Drivers in this city are a scandal.
In a few years, it will be worse than Bangalore.
Oh, Mr.
Mukherjee, I am so sorry I wasn't there to greet you.
Nonsense.
The duties of a hostess are all consuming.
I, myself, have never seen the wisdom of putting a beautiful woman to work.
She should be free to move through the world as she pleases, reminding all who behold her the existence of God.
My God, that's beautiful.
Good luck tonight, Mr.
Mukherjee.
- Thank you.
- Please.
Eddie, on your break, will you come see me, please? - Oh, Eddie.
- Jimmy.
- And how are you this evening? - Okay.
[liquid pouring.]
- Good? - Yeah.
She's gonna be a wreck tomorrow, but Jacob didn't wake up on the transfer, though, right? What do you think? That kid could sleep through a Kiss show.
You wanna tell me where Grandma is? Carly, you wanna give us a sec? Fuck that noise.
I just pointed a gun at a cop.
Whatever this is, I'm in it now.
- Maybe you wanna sit down? - I want you to answer my question.
- Where is Grandma? - She went to the shop.
Okay, so So we called to say we're headed over.
Some dirt bag vice cop looking for Peaches threatened Carly and the kids and Grandma decides that now is the time to go write some bonds.
If I didn't know better, I'd feel like people in this family are keeping secrets.
We're trying to protect her career.
Seeing as how there's really nothing left to protect, why don't you tell me what the fuck is going on? How much do you wanna know? [toilet flushes.]
You told him the shitter was busted.
Guess I had the magic touch.
- Otto: Chayton - What was the plan? The night before my case gets tossed, guy comes in, sticks you up, - and he gets away with my money? - Collateral.
Saying "money" implies the existence of a cash collateral which all parties would have a duty to report.
You know me a long time, Otto.
You know my family.
You think I'm just gonna shrug it off when someone takes what's mine? - Otto: Hey.
Please.
- Guy has something that belongs to me gets stolen from him, you don't think I'm gonna hold him responsible? Let them go, all right? They don't have anything to do with this.
Everyone will walk out when I get my money.
I would like us all to get in the habit of saying collateral.
I want my money, Otto, now! I'm getting the feeling it's not too secure around here.
He can't open the safe.
There's something wrong with it.
- Could I just have a sidebar? - Get the fuck away from me.
Something wrong with it, like the toilet? We had a locksmith come out here the other day, and he couldn't open it.
- He was here for hours.
- That's true.
You can ask the neighbors They must have seen his truck parked.
We're not gonna pull your fucking neighbors.
- All right, look - [door opens.]
- [gun cocks.]
- Good news, bad news, fellas.
Aren't we full of surprises? You get that badge in a cereal box? That's the bad news.
Badge is real.
Gun, too.
Good news is I'm not here for you.
Who you here for? - This one? - Yeah.
- He mean anything to you? - No, I just met him.
You expect me to believe you're not a part of this? You believe whatever you want to believe.
I'm offering you a choice.
I can either get real interested in what exactly is going on in here, what that is over there on the floor, or you can just let me have the little fuck, I'll be on my way.
- Where are you gonna take him? - What do you care? He's got a story to tell.
Next cop might give a shit.
He won't be telling his, not to anyone.
- Hey, hold on! - Grandpa.
Grandpa.
- It's fine.
- It didn't sound fine.
You think I'm just gonna stand by while my grandson gets sent to his death? I don't think you have a say in this.
Should I stay here where it's safe? Let him take me.
You got enough to worry about.
How do I know you won't call your cop friends as soon as you're out that door? Because I didn't call them before I came in.
Marius: Okay, okay.
[footsteps departing.]
The money's back in the safe.
Dockery's money, all of it.
How do you 'Cause I just watched Pete put it back in there.
There's no time.
The only way this ends is if we can find a way for you to open the safe without telling them that you were lying when you said you couldn't.
You got the combo written down somewhere? I want my money, Otto.
You say you can't get to it, but I need to know for sure.
Man is gonna cut off your ears, your nose, your tongue, maybe pop your eyes out of your skull, and if the safe is still not open, then we owe you an apology.
Okay, I don't know if you're aware of the memory lapses that he's been suffering since his recent stroke.
It's like daytime blackouts.
What if he forgot that he actually can open the safe? This locksmith you had in the other day, is it possible he gave you a piece of paper? Maybe you never even really looked at it? [stammers.]
Yeah, it's possible.
Okay, let's come at it this way.
If he had given you something, where would you have put it? Okay.
How's that? Okay.
Okay.
- [chuckles.]
- All right? Yeah? We good? We happy? Oh, motherfucker.
- How close did you get? - What? To Vince's hundred.
How much do you have? - All of it.
- Shit.
You got, what, an hour and a half till the deadline.
You had the whole hundred, you'd be in the city buying your brother back.
The money's in the city already, you fuckin' asshole.
And that would give me a hundred thousand reasons to get you there alive, instead of burying you out here somewhere, telling Vince I never found you.
What are you doing, man? Don't fuckin' touch me.
[tires screeching.]
[vocalizes.]
[chuckles.]
Wow.
That is more than a hundred.
Yeah, it's 150.
Congratulations, you beat the clock.
Such a fuckin' scumbag.
Take your next left.
Best way to the city is to stay on here till it hits the 95.
Take the left, I know a shortcut.
There is no shortcut.
The 95 is a straight shot from here.
Look, if your gonna kill me, why don't you just say so? I'm gonna kill you.
Motherfucker! Shit! [objects clattering.]
[roaring.]
[panting.]
I'm telling you, Pete's got it.
Yeah, I hear you.
You don't believe me? - I don't care.
- If you go now, you can start Catch up with him and run him off the highway at night? Murder a police officer? Cops don't let cop killings go unsolved.
How do you know he took it? I saw him.
You didn't say anything? I thought he was trying to put it back.
Why would it need to go back? Huh? Audrey used it for You motherfucker.
Audrey used to to fund a real estate scheme.
She thought it would be back before anybody realized it was missing.
Yeah, and who lured her into this fucking real estate scheme? Him, because he knew that she had your money.
Did you do a real estate deal with her before? Before when? Before you convinced me to trust her with my 150.
This is how I see it.
You both owe me.
I want full restitution, plus pain and suffering.
You know how upset it makes me when white men try to play me for a fool.
As far as punitive damages, let's see how we do with the other claims first.
You, clean this mess and you get my money.
We'll take the stiff with us to the res and bury him.
We'll take this one, too.
Well, after you called about the creepy cop, Audrey was afraid he might show up over there and throw a wrench into things.
No, no, no, no! She doesn't want you involved.
You show up there, she's going to be pissed.
She's been pissed before.
We don't even know there's anything wrong.
There can be a million reasons why a legit cop He doesn't get to do this Winslow, no matter what his business is with Pete.
And it's your job to teach him that? If you want to piss away what's left of your career, I can think of a lot easier ways than beating The guy forces his way into our house, scares the shit out of Carly.
What do you think Pop would do? [phone buzzes.]
Answer the phone.
[buzzing.]
Otto: J-Julia.
Grandpa, hey.
Taylor just headed down to - Julia - [car engine starts.]
Grandpa, is is is something wrong? Are your kids with you? And Carly, too.
- Why? Is Is - Good.
Good.
Good.
That's good.
What's wrong? I need you to get out of the house.
I don't know for how long.
Grandpa, you're scaring me.
Just listen to me.
I need you to get out of there.
Don't go to the farm.
Don't go to Lance's parents.
Hold on.
Why can't we go to Lance's parents? Best if you head for your brother's house.
I know it'll be tight.
Where's Lance? He's not here.
- Well, where - I don't know.
- Dockery - Dockery, what? Lance is with Dockery? Will you just Do as I tell you.
Please.
Just do as I tell you.
Okay.
- Now.
- Okay.
Julia, one more thing.
Your grandma's not returning my calls.
So you get you get you get to her and tell her Dockery knows.
You got that? Dockery knows, I got it.
I just don't I love you.
I love you, honey.
Kiss the babies for me, huh? He says we have to We have to leave right now.
You go get Jacob.
I won't make you deal with that one.
- Thanks for that.
- Well, don't thank me yet.
You're still gonna have to put her back down at Taylor's.
Why? Where are you gonna be? Uh, I think I have to fucking go save Lance.
- [knocking on door.]
- Come in.
Come on.
- He's cheating.
- Fuckin'-A right, he is.
How? I can't tell.
What? Wait, wait, wait.
You're telling me that you know he's cheating.
- Mm-hmm.
- But you don't know - how he's doing it? - No.
Maybe he's not even doing it.
Maybe he's just getting lucky.
- No, I ran a test.
- What does that mean? When I couldn't spot it after a dozen hands, I started bottom dealing.
You're base dealing in my room? - It was the only way - Do you have any fucking idea how hard I had to work to make sure that everybody knows - that this room plays straight? - That's why I figured you'd want to know if you had a cheat at one of your tables.
And now I know, but you can't tell me how.
Look, most of the time, he kept what I gave him.
One hand, though.
Heavy action, all the way through.
Pot was at, like, 200.
At the showdown, he turns over a jack queen for the nut straight.
- Takes it down.
- So? - I gave him pocket tens.
- Wait a minute.
You dealt him pocket tens, but in the end, he's holding jack queen instead? - Yes.
- He's playing holdouts? In Texas hold 'em with two different colored decks? How the fuck is that even possible? It's not.
It shouldn't be.
Plus I'd have felt if the deck was light.
Fuck! So what then, he's hiding a deck somewhere on him? Even if he had the chops to make that switch without me seeing it, it's too risky introducing new cards when you're not controlling the deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, two people at the same table turn over jack of hearts, someone's got some 'splaining to do.
Fuck me.
Not sure where that leaves us.
Fucked is where it leaves us.
Especially you.
- [knocking on door.]
- Yeah.
Hey, babe? Mukherjee's talking about cashing out early.
Doesn't matter.
Our genius here can't spot his cheat.
Shit.
If you had more time, could you spot Babe, it doesn't matter.
You just told me he's cashing out.
It's over.
Time's running out anyway.
I think I know how to get him to stay.
Yeah? How? You going down there naked? Why don't you tell him you're playing? No.
You know I never sit my own games.
- Come on.
I know.
- No.
You really think that's gonna get him to stay? It's the only way to find out.
You know, I'd consider it if I thought we had a shot at catching him out.
But my best spotter here was just watching him play, what, 50 hands or something like that, without so much as a sniff? So I don't see what 50 more are gonna do.
Well, if he cashes out, you'll never find out.
- Eddie's the best I got.
- Doesn't mean he's the best.
- Thanks for that.
- Yeah, no shit.
To catch a cheat, you need a cheat.
Eddie, who's the best mechanic you've ever seen? Stop the car.
Put it in park.
Leave it running.
We're gonna need the light, and I don't the battery to die.
Get out.
You don't have to do this.
I know.
I want to do it.
Get out of the car.
[door opens.]
[alarm chimes.]
Step into the light.
[phone rings.]
[chuckles.]
I wonder if this is the Governor calling to stay your execution, or if he just wants to say good-bye.
Tell him I have the money.
No, I have the money.
- [phone rings, beeps.]
- Fuck him.
This is our time.
- 500 grand.
- Excuse me? You let me go, I'll give you $500,000.
How many jackets are you wearing? - I don't have it here.
- No kidding.
12 hours.
It took you a week to get the 150.
Listen, I've been working a long con on Vince.
It's all set to go as soon as I get to Chinatown.
So instead of putting you in the ground right now, putting 50 grand in my own pocket, still getting to be the hero who brings Vince his hundred, you want me to give you 12 more hours to con a guy you couldn't con the last time.
Three years upstate.
Nothing to do but plan how to take him down.
You don't think I came up with anything? Yeah, three years, that's a long time to think about just one thing deciding how you're gonna do it.
Get on your knees.
Half a million dollars, man.
- Look at me.
- No.
No.
Do you think I'm in this for the money? On your knees! [phone rings, beeps.]
[vehicle approaching.]
[groaning.]
All right, all right, take it easy.
Take it easy? You were about to fuckin' kill me! - Pete! - Grandma, you okay? - Pete, what's going on? - Grandma! - Who is that man? - I'm a police officer.
NYPD.
You don't believe me, ask him.
Why are you trying to murder my grandson? First, I am not trying to murder anybody! - Bullshit! - Could have fooled me! Second, I do not even know your grandson! This man is Marius Josepovich.
He's a can man, a street hustler, and an all-around piece of shit.
- You're a fucking liar! - You're the liar.
- You're a liar! - Marius Josepovich is an alias! Ha! Is that what he told you? Listen, don't believe him.
I owe you an explanation.
Cuff yourself to the door handle.
- You're making a mistake.
- Wouldn't be my first.
You mind if I use my own cuffs? They're in my pocket next to the badge, in case you wanna look.
Business you're in, figure you can tell that's not a fake.
Cuff yourself! Hey, come on, you need to tell me what's going on.
- Pete! - There's something I need to do.
You gotta tell me what's going on! - I just need to do something.
- Is that Lance's money? - You need to trust me.
- Pete! - You need to trust me.
- I don't! - Pete! - [engine starts.]
What are you Where are you What are you doing? Pete! [engine revs.]
Pete, that money is supposed to save us! - [truck departing.]
- Pete! [door opens, closes.]
Grandpa? Grandma told Julia she was on her way here.
Audrey? Audrey w Grandpa is that her blood? What? No.
Whose is it? I don't I don't think he gave me his name.
Not his right one anyway.
He's, um You know what a house painter is? I'm a police officer.
Oh.
Well, he's a house painter.
Was.
Dockery's guy put a knife in his spine.
Why was he here? He isn't a client.
No.
Grandpa, did you hire a hit man? To go after Dockery? No.
Who, then? It was the only way I could think of to save her.
Oh, Grandpa.
Oh, Grandpa, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
[whimpering.]
Oh Grandpa, you know what felony murder is, right? Yeah! You hire a guy to do a crime he gets himself killed you're on the hook, just like you pulled the trigger.
Okay.
- Okay? - Yeah.
[sniffle.]
I guess I'll call the cops now.
I can Shh.
Shh.
Where's Grandma? - I don't know.
- No? She won't answer my phone calls.
You keep trying her.
- Okay? - Yeah.
I'm going to go go to Walgreen's and get what we need.
All right.
What we need for what? To clean this place up.
Ha ha.
Go ahead.
Ow.
Uhh! You know people always say "I hate to say I told you so.
" I love to say I told you so.
I'm going to lock you to the steering wheel.
You drive us out of here.
You do know you're already in a whole pile of trouble, don't you? Assaulting an officer, kidnapping an officer, attempted murder of an officer I'm still not convinced you are an officer.
assault with a deadly weapon - to wit, a motor vehicle.
- All right, all right.
You know 100% I am who I say I am.
Now, your grandson, on the other hand Apparently is a no-account asshole.
Doesn't mean we're not related.
We just watched him steal your truck, plus your $150,000, and you're still giving him the benefit of the doubt? Ooh, I wish you were my grandma.
Yeah? I'm too young to be your grandma.
And it was never my money.
You sure do need it back, though, huh? - Where's he going? - Marius? Whatever you want to call him, where's he taking that money? See? Now this is why I believe there is a deal to be made.
- [sigh.]
- As I was saying, you are already facing a whole mess of charges, but you don't have to be.
I am willing to clean the slate, even break you off a piece of that 150.
All I want is Marius.
You think I'd give you my grandson? And by the way, his name is Pete.
Here's my deal.
You tell me where he's going, I let you ride inside.
Whoa, whoa, who-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoa.
Hold Hold on.
Hold on.
Ohh! Cut the shit, Grandma! Take it from me, you're not gonna drag me to death! Where's my grandson going? I keep telling you he's not your grandson.
[grunting.]
New York! I'm sorry? New York.
Manhattan.
I've got a name and address! It's The Word Class.
It's an underground card room.
I'll take you there.
I'll take you there! You will take me there, or I'll drag you until this thing runs out of gas.
[panting.]
That's to you.
Drive.
Ahem.
Queen takes it.
Gentlemen, may I join you? The great Vince Lonigan deigns to sit at one of his own tables.
Truly a red letter day.
Well, we'll see.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Go! Come on, you fucking - [honk.]
- asshole! I guess you've done this before cuffed a guy to a steering wheel.
As long as I've been in the bail bond business, I bet I've cuffed guys to just about just about everything.
I'm not sure how far you think we're going to get.
First a cop sees us, pulls us over.
You spend your golden years in the prison infirmary in Niantic.
Doesn't need to get us to the city.
Just needs to get us somewhere with four bars.
[phone rings.]
Otto.
Thank Thank God! Listen, Otto Audrey, Audrey, Dockery knows.
Dockery knows! He took Lance.
But I thought he might come to you, but And And some fucked-up cop took Pete.
- Audrey, Pete stole from us.
- Otto! I've got the cop with me.
How's that even possible? I followed him to the shop.
Listen, we're in the woods right off the Merritt near Norwalk.
I need you to come pick us up.
Cop's going to take us to Pete.
Pete still has the money? And my truck.
Cop's car's about to kick out on us.
I've tried to make it to that service plaza - [grunt.]
- Audrey? [both grunting.]
- Audrey? - [grunt.]
Audrey? Ow! - [crash.]
- [honk.]
Audrey? Audrey! [continuous honk.]
Audrey!