Solar Opposites (2020) s03e04 Episode Script


Mm-mm, mm.
Huh, mm, mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.
Ooh, yeah! Today's the day we're going
to the awesomest place on Earth.
Hululand, the official Hulu theme park.
And they didn't make us say this. "Hulu!"
Bam-bam, bam-bam!
Stop dabbing, Terry.
Nobody does that anymore.
Wrong. Dabbing will be cool forever.
Dabbity, dab, dab.
I'll admit that even I,
the stodgiest one of the bunch,
am looking forward to this trip.
We could use it
after all crap we've been through lately.
That stuff with the trains,
all that business with the line.
You know, basically, those two things.
I've made a plan to make sure
we hit all the best rides
before the park closes
or it gets bought by Verizon.
Korvo, come on, look at the map.
I'm pointing, look at my pointing, please.
Fine. I will look at
a few pointings, but that's it.
First, we hit The Handmaid's Tale
Escape from Gilead water plume.
After that, it's PEN15 Mount,
then we head for the thrilling but grossly
insensitive Looming Tower of Terror tower.
Next, we grab drinks
at the Palm Springs Tiki Lounge.
I want to watch the Bosch stage show.
- Where's that?
- That show's not on Hulu.
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
Yes, it is, Terry. I Bosch all the time.
I wouldn't be allowed to say it
if it wasn't on Hulu.
No, it's not, bruh.
You know what, Terry?
I would bet my life that Bosch is on Hulu.
Well, then get ready to die
because they even say it on the map.
Damn it! What's it on, then? CNN?
Oh, my God, Korvo,
I can't believe you don't know
the exact streaming service
that every single show is on.
You're such a boomer.
- Shit, we gotta go. Get your shoes on.
- Whoop, whoop!
Replicants, get the lead out.
We need to leave if we want to get
on the dinner reservation list
for Club 11.22.63.
That's the show
where they time-travel to save JFK
and a secret diner above the log plume
where they serve lamb.
Oh, I know it and I love it.
The Solar Opposites
are going to Hululand.
And it's not gonna be like that "Itchy
& Scratchy Land" episode of The Simpsons,
- just to be clear right up front.
- We'll see about that.
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
until the asteroid hit.
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
and escaped into the space,
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
That's right.
I've been talking this whole time.
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
This is This is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa.
Do you see me?
This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
People are stupid and confusing.
Why won't a billionaire take me with him
when they go into space?
I'm a good navigator,
I'll bring some snacks.
Do you like Takis? If you bring me
to space, I'll bring Takis.
Ugh, I can't decide if I should wear
my Ramy sun visor or my Dollface skullcap.
Are we just gonna be name-dropping
all the Hulu properties all day, or what?
Oh, yeah, the corporate synergy
is gonna get very gross.
Don't forget to open the last day of your
Countdown to Hululand advent calendar.
Hmm, let's see
what the final stale piece is gonna be.
Ooh, it's a The Great-flavored jellybean.
Mm, I've always wondered
what The Great would taste like,
and now I know, blood on linen.
I'm glad Korvo paid for season passes
so we won't have to watch a bunch of ads
as we walk through the park.
Well, except for some rides,
which, due to previous rights issues,
have to start and end
with a commercial for Lexus.
I heard sometimes they try to sneak ads
into the actual rides
without telling people,
not that I'd mind with Lexus.
Their vehicles are the peak of luxury
and automotive excellence.
Will you two hurry the fuck up
before I get so mad that I squirt?
Oh, good grief, Korvo won't
stop saying he's going to squirt
ever since he played
the Last Of Us Part II.
It's très embarrassing.
Ooh, leave the TV on,
the sound keeps the Wall peeps happy
when we aren't around.
Better feed them a little extra
in case we're gone for too long.
Enjoy the duds, little buds.
Breaking news.
A gorilla has just escaped the city zoo.
This is the first zoo escape since 1998,
when a Chilean flamingo
stole some clothes and snuck out,
disguised as a teen boy named Ramon.
Beep, beep, beep
Hey, Blaine, knock it off,
we're having a meeting over here.
Oh, so sorry.
I just figured since this was a hospital,
you'd wanna know the patient's status
with my beeps,
but I guess I'll just go fuck myself!
Don't mind him. Blaine just takes
his hos-play very seriously.
How's he doing?
Well, it was miss for a while.
Then, it was hit,
and then it alternated between miss
and hit or hit and miss
Could you just tell me in English?
His vitals seem to be responding
to the contact lens fluid
we've been giving him intravenously.
He's lucky you guys
got him out of there when you did.
How long will he be unconscious?
In my professional opinion,
I'd say eight, maybe twelve weeks.
- Cherie?
- Tim.
Of course, he wakes up
right as I say eight to twelve weeks.
God, I look like such an idiot.
You're alive!
Cherie, oh, God, this whole year.
How did you survive in the backyard?
Don't worry about that.
You don't remember what you said
in the throne room, do you?
No, I I don't remember anything.
Even if you'd woken up just five minutes
later, but right when I said it?
Argh, I'm gonna be thinking about this
for the rest of my
Get over it.
The last couple months are a blur.
Where am I?
Secret hospital room
in the Bowinian Church,
being treated for lead poisoning.
What? Who would poison me?
I'm a great guy.
You did it to yourself.
Drinking out of
that cheap Burger King glass.
I never drank out of a Burger King glass.
What? No, I watched you.
That glass in my office is a replica.
I commissioned it
from our finest cupmakers
for a daily hit of nostalgia.
It's lead-free.
No, that can't be right.
All of our cupmakers
refuse to take commissions.
You're done, Tim.
You're going on trial for your crimes.
It's time the people of the Wall
learn the truth.
- Wait, how long have I been out?
- Four days.
Oh, no, no, I'm late.
Look, Jesse's opened all the compartments,
that means the aliens
have gone on their trip.
- What trip?
- He's delirious.
Haven't you seen them buy Dramamine
and individual orange juices?
- So?
- That's road-trip stuff.
The aliens have left. This is our chance
to escape and get big again.
Is Is that true?
Is this really our chance
to free the Wall?
Don't listen to him, it's a trick.
Maybe, but if he's right
and they are out of town
And we get everyone to the Hole
Guys, stop.
The last time I trusted Tim,
he stabbed me with a toothpick.
This man is a total
Shit, where is he?
We won. But at such a heavy cost.
Freeze, or I'll put a staple
right through your boney ass.
Cherie, stop.
Listen, I wanna face up to the crimes
I've committed, but now is not the time.
I've got to save us all.
No way, you don't call the shots anymore.
Not after you tried to murder me.
I know, you're right, but
You're coming back with me and
What the hell was that?
The drawer is jammed.
We have to hurry,
the structural integrity of that Milk Dud
shan't hold for long.
Fucking hell.
Carpet broke our fall.
I can't believe there's
breathable atmosphere out here.
- It's a bedroom.
- Right, right.
I'm not done with you.
You can't just run from me
Yes, I can.
Bola throw!
This is over.
- Okay, okay.
- Huh?
Don't move or make a sound.
No, I've seen this thing, he's friendly.
Hey, big guy.
I thought you said
the aliens were on a trip.
I guess maybe that one
got Home Alone-ed or
Oh, my God!
Tim, you fucker, no!
It's the shrink ray, I reversed it.
Sorry, I should have said that
instead of just shoving you in front of it
and pulling the trigger.
I got caught up in the excitement.
Wait, wait. Before you kill me,
I wanna say something.
Cherie, I hate the Wall.
It turned me into
a person that does bad things,
but even if I could
somehow travel back in time,
I'd still want Yumyulack to shrink me down
and put me in there.
Because it's how I met you.
My life is richer, happier and better
because you are in it.
And while I hate the Wall
more than anything,
I also kind of love it,
because it gave me you.
But I messed up, I know I did.
And And I'm sorry.
Go ahead. I'm ready to be smushed to death
by your fingers.
You deserve it. Take your revenge,
feel the power of the dark side
flowing through you.
Oh, Tim.
There are things I have to tell you.
- When I was outside the Wall, I
- Stop.
Shh. No, we don't have time
for big reveals now,
we have to save the others.
Then everything that needs
to be said can be said.
Are you sure? It's kind of important.
I'm sure as shit on Sunday.
Wow, that's pretty sure.
How are we gonna do this?
Maybe have everyone
climb out the Hole to the backyard?
No, that'll take too long,
and the backyard's too dangerous.
We'd either get caught by the aliens
or see a shit ton of tiny people
eaten by squirrels.
Ooh, beep beep.
Damn it, biometric security.
We need an alien's hand to open it.
So, what can we do? Also, did that panel
just make, like, a sexy beep?
Yeah, it was weirdly sexy.
We have to get help
before the aliens come back.
Citizens of the Wall, hear me now.
Cherie and I are leaving,
but I vow we will return and save you,
our nightmare is at an end. Stay strong.
For the Wall!
Okey-dokey, so let me see
if I got this straight.
You're saying an alien tween
shrunk you down,
locked you in an ant-habitat-type
terrarium hidden in his bedroom wall,
there was a big Snowpiercer slash Escape
from New York-type revolutionary war
to displace a, uh, "the Duke,"
after which you stabbed her
and became the new ruler.
But, she survived, enemies became allies
and now you've teamed up
to free the whole society.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Wow, when you didn't write any of it down,
I was worried you would forget.
- I did too.
- Am I on an episode of Impractical Jokers?
Where are the cameras? Is Sal here?
I wish to the Lord above
this was an episode
of Impractical Jokers, but it's real.
Watch this.
Huh. You shrunk my round cakes.
Sorry, but I had to prove our story.
Also, those are called donuts.
Well, look. Now I'm upset.
And no, not because I'm stereotypically
- into round cakes
- Donuts.
But because it was my week to buy them
for my whole unit.
Now the guys are gonna think that I
bought this tiny box as a joke
and in turn, they'll suspect
I don't appreciate
when it's their week and they get
a full-sized box.
Sorry, I didn't realize the internal
politics here was a whole thing.
However, these shrinky dink treats
do prove your story,
which is a fucked-up bigger deal.
As a non-stereotypical officer of the law,
I just cannot ignore it.
So, you'll help us?
You bet I will.
Let me put this into evidence,
- eat a couple of these little roundies
- Hmm.
And call the SWAT team.
Now, where can we find
these alien psychos?
Well, the Shrill Thrill Super Coaster
totally lives up to the hype.
And so do these Little Fires Everywhere
spicy Micheladas.
Yumyulack, are you okay?
You've barfed after
every ride we've been on.
I bet it was all that
Stephen King's Castle Rock
lobster chowder you slurped down.
I told you to go easy.
No one tells me how to slurp chowder.
Hey, fuckers, eat ground, now.
Ooh, is this a photo experience?
What show are you from? The news?
I can't believe it,
they're being brought to justice.
I never thought this would happen.
The Wall is gonna be freed.
They're letting them go?
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, Officer, what is this?
Apparently, those aliens
have giving the Feds
secret sci-fi technology for years,
and they have full immunity
for any and all crimes committed,
including shrink ray-ing
and wall-based imprisoning.
They are untouchable.
- No, no this can't be happening.
- Ooh, it's happening.
You know, how iPhones now have
that magnet on the back?
Apparently, that was these guys.
It's serious shit.
Who cares about a fucking magnet?
It's just a fucking magnet,
I have those on my fucking fridge.
I'm not the one buying an annual iPhone.
Tell it to the consumers.
You can't let this happen, it's not fair.
Forget it, Tim. It's Hululand.
Okay, this is bad, but we can't give up.
Maybe we can talk to some lawyers,
or, or the media.
Or I could tweet at AOC
and maybe she'll play Twitch with us,
we'll raise some awareness.
The Squad will help.
I've spent the past two years of my life
fighting to survive
and I'm tired of these aliens
and I'm tired of the Wall.
I'm done. I just wanna work
the Saturday shift at Benihana
and watch the sunset
from the bluff at Fourth Beach.
I have to move on, Tim.
And I think you need to too.
No, no Cherie, it can't end like this,
we have to keep trying.
No. Goodbye.
More developments
on the escaped gorilla.
We came home to find
the gorilla had broken in
and eaten all of our cigarettes.
- Eaten?
- Eaten.
Are you okay, sir?
No, there's only one person
who can help me.
Not what I asked, but whatever.
Yeah, Cherie came back to work here,
but then she quit again yesterday.
Do you know why?
The manager thought it was 'cause she
couldn't get her old Saturday shift back,
but I know something else was wrong.
Something in her very soul.
I got no clue where she is now.
Have you noticed you're not the same size?
- What do you mean?
- Before I was shrunk, I was 5' 7".
But now I'm only five six and a half.
Even after being enlarged,
I'm still not full sized.
Yeah, I dropped a shoe size.
Part of us is still back there,
in the Wall.
I thought I'd be able to slide back
into my old life,
but I keep having meltdowns,
whenever I see candy
or little kids playing
with action figures.
I know the feeling,
I almost crapped my pants
when someone snapped into a Slim Jim
on the bus the other day.
I was wrong to give up.
We have to go back.
We have to go back and save the Wall.
I believe in us.
- You trimmed your beard.
- Yeah,
bugs and shit kept getting stuck in it.
I like it. How are we gonna do this?
We don't even have the shrink ray.
Don't worry. Daddy's got a plan.
Shouldn't you do something
to disguise your voice?
- Way ahead of you.
- A voice scrambler?
- I thought those were just in movies.
- I'm pretty sure they're real.
Police Department.
This is the escaped gorilla.
I'm in the parking lot of the Target.
Defund the police!
Oh, shit!
Guys, the gorilla's at the Target.
That's your cue.
That was easy.
The cops didn't even lock anything.
Tim, your plan
was so simple and brilliant.
It was just a little something
I cooked up, no biggie.
So, I got both things.
But what's this shotgun for?
- Besides making us look sick as hell!
- You'll see.
Well, I was skeptical, but that was
a delicious dinner at Lobster Bell,
the new combination
Red Lobster, Taco Bell.
Just listen to me next time,
I know my combo franchises.
Well, I didn't like it as much
as Del Lobster Loco.
What the fuck? Who are you people?
Shut up. Do exactly as I say
or I'm gonna blow this blue blob
to snot, got it?
Go ahead, pull the trigger.
He means nothing to us.
Oh, Jesus, God no, I was bluffing.
Please, don't shoot Pupa,
it was a pathetic bluff.
Oh fuck, Wall people.
Uh, what's a Wall people?
Upstairs, all of you, now.
What the shit? You've been shrinking
people and putting them in a wall?
Oh, that rules.
I mean, no, that's bad,
- you should not be doing that.
- Quiet.
You two are gonna open the Wall
and release everyone.
- Don't do this, Tim.
- You
You know my name?
Oh, of course I do. Me and Jesse know
all about you, you're our favorite.
Um, I'm right here.
At first, I just shrank you because you
were wearing a red shirt at Lolo Burger.
I watched how you went from zero to hero.
How The Duke had you imprisoned
and tortured,
how your writings inspired a revolution.
We saw how you protected the Wall
from the truth about Ethan.
We've seen everything you've endured
and accomplished.
Did you see me and Jean-Pierre turn
our backs to each other and crank it,
but we'd sneak looks at each other
when we were in prison?
- Oh, yeah.
- Tim, you know it would be wrong
to open the Wall.
Because if you're really honest,
you know that everyone in the wall is
where they're supposed to be.
- Even you.
- And you.
Fuck you, you little Greedo.
I've never been more turned on in my life.
Now open it.
Beep, beep.
Okay, what is with that sultry beep?
Uh, we chose the sexy setting as a joke,
but then we couldn't figure out
how to change it.
All right, everyone.
One at a time.
That's everyone.
- It's finally over.
- Almost.
There's one more thing.
Go outside, Cherie.
You're not gonna wanna see this.
I understand.
You think you can just treat people like
they're a little show in a show,
like we're not real people
with lives, huh?
Well, let's see how you like it.
You can't just leave us in here.
How will we survive?
Here's a jellybean, if you're careful,
that might last a month.
Now it's over.
What you said when we escaped
the Wall was true.
All of this had to happen
to bring us together.
I love you, Tim.
I love you, Cherie.
Not so fast, Tim.
The escaped gorilla riding
Ma-Mutt from Thundercats?
That's right, Tim. I've come to recruit
you for a brand-new mission.
The two of us have to go tomb-raiding
in Central America.
We only have until the planets align
and I have a journal from my father,
full of secrets.
It's all very complicated
and we have to go now.
Now? I don't know.
I understand your hesitation.
You thought your adventures were over.
- They are, aren't they?
- No.
They're just beginning.
Wow, can Cherie come too?
I'm gonna sit this one out, hot stuff,
but I'll be here when you get back.
Then count me in, Gorilla.
Here, eat some cigarettes.
You'll need the energy for the flight.
We're losing him.
- We're losing him.
- What? Losing who?
What's wrong with the sky?
Is that the light from
the end of Total Recall?
Ignore that, have fun.
We're losing him.
We're losing him.
His eyes are still moving
under the lids, see that?
He's probably experiencing some kind of
it-was-all-a-dream type of hallucination,
as his brain dies.
Gorilla! Ma-mutt! Cigarette!
You hear that? That's some
dying brain shit right there.
Well, that explains
why he's got a huge boner.
He's gone. The lead,
it was simply too much.
Fuck! I wanted him to pay for his crimes,
but of course, he dodged that,
just like he always does.
In retrospect, it might not
have been a good idea
to fill his veins
with contact lens solution.
But, hey, you live, you learn.
What the hell happens now?
I need a vacation from my vacation.
And I need a Lexus.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
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