Solar Opposites (2020) s04e10 Episode Script

My flock,
our worst fears were realized
when the heathens sent assassins
into our kingdom
and kidnapped
our beautiful baby Jessius.
Already, they're filling
her mind with lies!
They're telling her
that Jesse hates us
and that the best flavor
of Laffy Taffy is banana.
Jesse tasks us,
her most faithful servants,
with a grave and dangerous task.
We must rescue baby Jessius
from the hands of evil
and strike down those who wish us harm.
The Wall will be united
under Jesse's bow.
And I will rule in her name!
Anyway, we have to make sure
AISHA is prepared for
Terry! Do you have AirPods in again?
You know I can't tell
when you're listening to me
or some fucking podcast about bread.
I am, but they're not on.
I want the look of earrings
without the commitment of ears.
It's the most important day of the year
for ship maintenance.
I need you to focus.
Ugh, don't strain
those bitter tits, I'm on it.
They are strained!
AISHA will be offline for two hours
for her once-a-year software update.
Two hours!
Two hours isn't that long.
I've sat around doing literally nothing
for longer than that.
We have to monitor the cockpit
while she's shut down.
This is serious.
Let's get this update going.
I'm ready for my staycation.
Oh! You know, today's actually
no bueno for me.
I have plans.
You just said you don't do anything!
Remember that auction at Jesse
and what's-his-fuck's school?
I bid a ton of our blood-less diamonds
and won an afternoon with Nancy Silverton!
Who the fuck is that?
Uh, doy!
James Beard award-winning chef
slash bread mogul.
She's coming over to personally teach me
how to make her famous crust.
It was between her
and a Scott Adams Zoom
where he teaches you how to be bitter.
You don't even like crust!
Only because I don't know
how to imbue it
with personal umami!
Nancy Silverton's
a big deal, Korvo.
She created Osteria Mozza.
She's got a whole
Chef's Table episode!
Girl brought Umbria to Melrose.
Whatever. I couldn't care less
about this crusty woman.
Can you at least pretend
to care about the ship?
I do care!
In fact, there's something
I wanna add to AISHA's update.
Really? I'd love to see you take
some initiative.
Update away.
Accessing. Entering code.
Beep boop boop. Bypassing the proxy.
And done.
Recalculating estimate.
Update will now take 14 hours
and 21 days.
What the fuck? We can't survive
without AISHA for 21 days.
She scrubs the air,
monitors all the neutrino levels.
Update protocol
will commence in,
um, pssh,
I don't know, like 40 seconds.
That's good enough.
Wait, no!
We can override the countdown.
Grab the override ray
out of the array of rays.
The what?
The ray closet,
where we keep all the rays!
We use it all the time!
Okay, okay! Calm down, I'm on it.
Aw, fuck! Help!
Damn it! It's your job to keep
the ray arrays arranged!
Why do we have a taco ray?
Grab the blue one over there
and shoot AISHA with it
to buy me some time!
Got it.
Korvo? Where are you?
Ahh, I can't see anything!
Oh, God, am I dead again?
You shot us
with the invisibility ray.
We're invisible!
We have to get to AISHA before
Bye, bitches!
AISHA? AISHA?
I just want to get ahead
of any accusations
and say this is both our faults.
Fuck!
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
until the asteroid hit.
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
and escaped into the space,
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
We crashed on Earth,
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name is Korvo.
This is my show.
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
People are stupid and confusing.
Everyone loves their phones,
but they haven't invented a thing
that lets you transfer
your consciousness into your phone
so that your body can die
but your soul can live on
trapped for eternity
as someone else's operating system.
Now that's a phone.
Ah, I can't see!
Are you sure we didn't get hit
by the blinding ray?
I threw
the blinding ray out last year
after I realized looking at the sun
does the same thing
for half the price.
We're definitely both invisible
right now.
But I can't see a fucking thing.
Is everything invisible?
The light-detecting roots
and shmoots
in our Shlorpian eyes are invisible,
so the light's passing
right through them
Ah, I see.
Our brains
aren't receiving any information.
Being invisible makes us blind.
And now AISHA's shut down
for a long fucking time!
What did you add to her system
that was so important?
- Emojis.
- Emojis!
Nobody uses those.
We aren't teens!
I use them, and I like them!
They're cute and fun!
Ugh, I can't even see the clock
to monitor her updates.
Holy fucking shit.
Ugh. Nancy Silverton
will be here in an hour,
and I'm not gonna be able
to make crust with her
if she can't see me.
Fuck your crust!
We have bigger problems.
Not me. How's she gonna correct
my kneading technique
if she can't see my fingers?
We need to find
the invisibility ray
and use it to re-visibilify us
because without AISHA,
there's nobody with eyes
to make sure
the whole ship doesn't fall apart.
Oh, come on, Korvy,
how often does
the ship actually break?
Ow!
We have to keep
the neutronium core from exploding
and destroying the northern hemisphere
of the Earth twice a day.
Fuck! Ugh.
Why do you think I'm always running home
in the middle of movies?
I thought you needed to fart
in the privacy of your own home.
Yes, and prevent
the ship from exploding.
Ugh, fine.
I'll start feeling around
for the stupid ray.
Come on.
Oops. Fuckin', where is it?
Ow! Terry, you bitch.
Did you leave a compartment open?
Korvo! I'm sick
of you blaming me for everything!
Then stop fucking up all the time.
You suck so bad!
Did you just take a swing at me?
I felt a fist-shaped breeze
go past my face.
Hell yes, I threw down!
You apologize right now!
I'm sorry that you're a dick!
That's it.
I'm sick of your shit.
You've had this beatdown
coming for a long time!
Hey, fuckin' stop it!
- Son of a
- You want some?
- Fuck you. Fuck you!
- I'll kick your mound!
I'll do it, I'll kick you
right in the mound.
- Ow! God damn it!
- Eat shit!
Praise Bows!
Yes! Praise Bows!
Let them go first.
Ah! Please!
The ground's covered
in ComfortGlide razors!
It's a trap! Fall back!
How did you know?
Jesse warned me that
the heathens are full of tricks.
Push forward!
There will be trials ahead,
but you have been chosen by Jesse herself
to be a polka-dotted light
in the darkness.
Praise Bows!
Praise Bows!
Praise Bows! Praise Bows!
Praise Bows! Praise Bows!
Praise Bows! Praise Bows!
I hope you're happy.
You make me squart my robes.
You shouldn't
be squarting at all.
It's not my fault, you sicko.
Just focus on finding the ray.
Just focus on finding the ray.
God, I'm so sick of your bossy attitude.
Bossy? I'm the team leader,
and you're the team follower.
We're not a team.
We're just two big spoons
that got assigned to each other
that'll never work,
like Michael Jordan and Yosemite Sam.
If this is some
Halloween bullshit, I'm out.
I told you that shit basic.
Yumyulack! Girl Yumyulack!
We need your help!
Oh, boy, did somebody do
a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
on you guys?
No. Terry fucked up and shot us
with the invisibility ray,
so we're blind now.
- Why?
- It was an accident.
No. Why are you blind?
Ha! I knew it wasn't obvious.
Go ahead and tell 'em.
Tell 'em the insane reason
why we're blind.
The roots and shmoots
in our eyes are invisible
so the light's passing through them.
We need the invisibility ray.
Do you see it?
Yeah. Yeah. Hang on.
Make some noise so I can aim at you.
- La, la, la, la.
- Noise, noise, noise.
- La, la, la.
- Oink, oink, oink.
You sound stupid.
Will you just
make us visible again?
Okay. Okay.
Wait. We could use this
to our advantage.
I'm listening.
No, no, no.
Don't start getting ideas.
I need to organize my yeast.
The neutrino engine could explode!
I need to reboot AISHA!
If they can't see us,
they can't stop us from going
on a fun sci-fi adventure.
You mean like a time travel adventure?
No! Those are too complicated.
We don't do that anymore.
Grab 'em!
Ow! Fuck!
Make us visible,
and I'll let you clean the dishwasher.
It's really fun. There's lots of old,
clean food stuck in the bottom.
Fuck that noise!
Why do I hear chronotomic fabric?
Don't you touch those time travel vests!
Uh, we'll be back in two shakes
of a duck's dick.
- Yay!
- As your leader,
I order you not to zip!
Hello, are you still here?
- Yep.
- Not you.
I think I heard
Yumyulack set the ray down
on the table.
Found it!
Oh, wait. That's my hand.
Okay, now I found it!
Crap, that's the other hand.
Fuck me and my two hands.
Use your echolocation
to find the table.
I don't wanna do that,
it's embarrassing.
Come on,
you got really good at it
when you got lost
at Hedonism 4 last summer.
Just try. Come on.
You need to hit a higher register.
Then you do it!
Ugh, fuck this.
I need to get my
double zero flour out and resting
or Nancy will be mise en pissed.
No, we're not done here!
- The ship
- Yeah. Yeah. The neutrino engine.
I can't help with that anyway.
You're so perfect at everything,
deal with it yourself.
I'm outta here.
Okay. That sounded expensive.
Terry, Terry, don't be a twunt.
What did you break?
It's crust time, motherfuckers!
Ah!
Ah.
Ow! Fuck! Ow!
Ow! So many stairs!
Ugh! Korvo, I fell down the stairs.
Good.
You deserve it for abandoning me.
That's not nice!
I think I found it! Get back here.
Shit. You broke the fucking ray
into big, chunky pieces!
Ugh, God damn it.
Ow. Son of a bitch!
Ow! Ah! Oh! Shit!
Whoa! Oh, God!
Fuck my life.
Oh, shit. Son of a bitch!
Oh!
There, there.
Go to Jesse, my child.
You could have helped him.
I did.
Look, it's a Game Boy, but it's broken.
The infidels destroyed their heat source
rather than accept Jesse
into their hearts.
I fear the worst
for our sweet Jessius.
We must slaughter every one of them
whether they surrender or not.
They've been driven to madness
by their own depravity.
Without heat, they're sure to be weak.
But some could still see the light.
Right, Sister?
No! Jesse spoke to me.
She wants them all dead.
I can sense Jessius nearby.
We must forge ahead.
Come on. Scale. Scale.
Where's the scale?
Terry Ow!
I hit my soft head again.
Help me set up.
I'm worried our kitchen
is giving off CPK vibes.
You broke the ray!
We're stuck blind
and invisible forever!
Yeah, yeah, forever's a long time.
Nancy's coming now.
If you won't respect me,
then I won't respect your crust!
Ah!
You did not just throw
my heirloom Goop Jade Egg brand
baking powder!
Oh, don't want me
to break your stuff, huh?
Try making crust with no whatever this is.
That was peanut butter.
You don't need peeb for crust,
you dork!
Quit it!
Nancy needs
a peaceful, Italiano space.
This is not molto bene!
You know what?
I'm happy I destroyed
the stupid invisibility ray.
At least this way,
I'll never have to see
your ugly face again!
You take that back.
You cherish my face! Ah!
Ow! Not anymore, I don't!
I'm done taking your shit!
Forget the ray, forget the mission.
I am moving out!
Soon as I can find the door.
Ah.
Fuck!
Terry?
Are you still here?
Yeah. I got confused about
which side of the door I was on
and was too embarrassed to say anything.
I'm sorry I threw
your nutrient powders.
I think something is broken in me
that a ray can't fix.
You wanna know why I bid
on an afternoon with Nancy?
Well, I thought it was
'cause you're a simp for Netflix celebs.
Yes, but also,
remember when we went
on that vacation to Highland Park
and you had an amazing piece of pizza
and wouldn't stop talking about it?
That was Nancy's crust.
You always work so hard
on the ship and lead us so good,
I, I just wanted to bring a little slice
of Highland Park to you.
That's, that's very thoughtful
of you, Terry.
Korvo, the reason
I never want to help
with the sci-fi stuff is
I don't know math.
Not even basic math,
like the Goldbach Conjecture
or the real-valued function
on a three-dimensional space?
You shame me. I am shamed.
I actually like that
you don't know science stuff.
- What?
- It makes me feel necessary,
like a hunky
sexy science Shlorpian.
You were fronting for me?
I was fronting and stunting.
But we said
we'd never front in this house.
Agreeing to that
was my original front.
It is sexy
when you know about the ship.
I got pretty hot
when you complained
about the neutronium core.
It's always low on ions!
Mm. I'll tell you what,
that tech support tone makes me goosh.
What about when I yell
at the fluidic processors?
Drives me wild.
Terry, take your goddamn clothes off.
Oh, I've been naked this whole time.
Oh, fuck.
Treat me like an Ektorp.
Call me a slutty little Malm.
Talk Swedish dirty to me.
But IKEA legal.
They're so powerful.
Just do it after we cut away!
Ungh, Billy bookcase!
- Ribba frames!
- Yes.
- God! Yes! Ugh, yes.
- Ungh! Kallax shelving!
Keep saying IKEA merch,
it gets me so fuckin' hot!
Allen wrench!
Home delivery!
Sustainability!
Meatballs!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, Nancy Silverton must be here!
Hello? Terry?
It's Nancy.
She just walked in?
She's a legend.
She does what she wants.
Just shut up
and pretend we're not here.
I'm here for our
Master Craft Crust Session?
What the hell happened in here?
Raw dough
and raw dog!
Well, someone pumped the yeast in here!
Get out here right now or I'm leaving!
Uh, hi, Nancy.
Hello, Mrs. Silverton.
Wh-who's there?
Show yourself!
It's, it's me, Terry.
I, I accidentally got myself
and Korvo here zapped
by an invisibility ray.
And we're blind and we're invisible
and I won't be able
to knead dough with you.
It's all my fault!
Nancy, he cannot take all the blame!
This is Korvo, by the way.
I just learned about you today,
and now the ship's going to explode
if we can't get
our sight back and I
Hush. Both of you need
to calm down.
There's no crying in the kitchen.
Hm, photon entanglement.
I think I can help.
You can construct
an invisibility ray?
No, but it's all ingredients.
Science, cooking.
Everything has a recipe.
I'm Nancy fucking Silverton.
Just point me towards the basil.
It's ready.
Nancy, we love you,
but we have no idea
what the tits is going on.
I created a re-visibility bouillabaisse.
It should restore you
to the visible spectrum,
plus it's fucking delicious.
Now, where are you standing?
Lady, we have no idea where
- Oh, my God! It's so hot!
- It hurts so much!
- I can feel my skin melting!
- I can see!
Thank you, Nancy Silverton!
Bon appetito!
It's iced shut.
Break it down.
It's empty.
Sister, where are the heathens?
They have to be here,
I heard them.
Here!
You're goddamn right, I floss!
It's A Few Good Men
electric toothbrush
in the shape of Jack Nicholson's
character, Colonel Jessup.
Those damn fools must have escaped
to the backyard.
They'll be dead in days!
"Montez told us you were coming.
Have fun freezing to death."
Sister, it's sealed shut
with Nickelodeon Floam.
It's impenetrable when frozen.
We can still chip away at it.
It's not Gak, you fuckin' idiot.
This shit is stronger than cement!
Fuck you, Greg! We have to try!
They've ensnared us like rats!
They'll burn in the inferno
of Yumyu-hell for this!
Yumyu-hell?
Is that is that something new?
Silence!
In the first days,
Jesse was a giver
but never giving back our old lives.
Her ways are mysterious.
With faith, we are guided.
Get that door open now!
You know, you remind me
a lot of Wolfgang Puck.
You smell similar too.
And where the hell have you been?
We went on an awesome adventure
through time, remember?
It was sick!
The Pupa got us
into the sexiest parties
and totally altered
the space-time continuum.
He Yoko'ed the Spice Girls
and discovered penicillin!
- Great.
- Huh, we thought you'd be mad.
Did Korvo fix the ship?
Yes. And he got AISHA back online,
so the world isn't going to blow up,
but now Nancy McBackstabberton and Korvo
are becoming best friends in the kitchen.
Oh, Nancy!
Sounds like they're really vibing.
Sorry, Terry, Nancy S. is pretty cool.
You're the one who invited her in.
Rookie mistake.
She's an Alpha, and you're like
one of the punctuation marks
that comes after the alphabet.
Hey, Nance?
Got a minute?
I need a second opin'
on these tomatoes I've been growing
in the front yard.
Of course! Beefsteak or heirloom?
Huh, I see Kentucky bluegrass
and some dandelions,
I guess I could use
the leaves, but I
What the hell?
Is this a time traveling vest?
Have fun cooking
in your beloved ancient Rome!
You're going to love how open
and irregular this crumb is.
Where's Nancy?
She had to scoot,
official Chi Spacca business.
They ran out of bone-in shrimp.
Too bad,
we were just about to whip up
a second batch of sourdough.
Want to knead with me, Terry?
Yeah. I would love to.
Huh?
Sister Sisto?
She dropped her Holy Bowble.
This must be
how she speaks to Jesse!
Sister!
Why are you following me?
Y-you left behind your Holy Bowble.
I thought you'd need it
to commune with Jesse.
That's why you're here, right?
So she can help us?
Right, right, yes, of course.
I was coming here
to commune with Jesse.
You mustn't be here
when she arrives
The last of the rations?
Sister, what, what are you doing?
Oh, please.
You really can't see
that the church, the holy war,
the "word of Jesse"
has all been a way
to control people?
No, no, it's Jesse's light.
What the fuck does that even mean?
She's a little alien.
She doesn't even emit light.
Wait, it's, it's not a metaphor?
Oh, my God, you're pathetic.
- You're, you're testing me.
- Ugh.
No one understands
the Wall like I do.
I've been watching
the tides of power
and when I had my chance,
I grabbed it.
The Wallians craved someone
to give them a fantasy.
They wanted to be owned, so I owned them.
But, but Halk?
You said Jesse could bring him
back to life.
Even if she could,
why would she bring back
your loser husband?
You made it all up?
You should have escaped
when you had a chance.
Everyone in the Wall is going
to die because of you!
Good. I'm glad!
You really think I give a rat's ass?
You are all going die
in this stupid fucking Wall,
while I go out into the world and live!
I'm going to sell my story
to Simon & Schuster for $5,000!
Aw, geez,
I think I stepped on a grape.
Oh, hi there, little friend.
Did you get lost?
Uffda, this Wall's smellin'
pretty funky.
Yum hasn't been taking
good care of you guys.
What's your name?
Blist I mean, Nova.
My name is Nova.
Cool name!
If it's okay, could you please fix
the temperature inside the Wall?
Sure! Easy peasy. Here ya go.
Thank you!
Oh, and my husband, he
Okay, you take care now!
I'll get you some Lucky Charms later
as a treat.
Sisto is dead.
She was a false prophet,
preying on us
because we believed
in something greater.
Jesse saved us all.
Her divine touch is
already warming our land.
Someday, our brothers and sisters
who Sisto forced out of the Wall
will find their way back.
If they survive the backyard,
they'll return to find the Wall
better than ever before.
Because from now on,
we build friendships instead of barriers.
There will be no more
power-hungry dictators or bloody wars.
There will only be people who care
and support each other
and a lasting peace inside the Wall!
It starts now.
Our winter is over!
Feel the warm air,
the wind of change that brings
a new life for us all.