Somewhere Boy (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

1
This programme contains very strong
language, offensive sexual references
and scenes some viewers may find
distressing.
So very much in love ♪
I'm living in an ecstasy ♪
Now at last ♪
Come on, we can't talk
about it if you don't read it.
I don't want to.
Why not? Don't you like it?
I love it.
It's just a bit boring.
What do you want to do?
Tell me again
about the monsters.
All right.
They used to hide,
pretend they were just like
you and me.
Why did they hide?
Because
there was still enough good
in the world, I think
to make them ashamed.
There was so much good.
Like what?
Your mum.
She were good.
So, what happened?
They took that away.
Even that.
And then
they stopped being scared,
the monsters.
Stopped hiding,
everything, all of it.
The whole world
smashed.
COMPUTER KEYS CLICK
And how did you feel
when your dad wasn't there?
Scared.
And when he was there?
Happy.
How much of the time?
All the time.
What were you scared of?
The monsters.
What are you writing?
Did you ever see any?
No.
Then how did you know
they were there?
Because they took my mum.
SLAPPING SKIN, WOMAN MOANING
ON PHONE: Oh, it feels so good.
I've never felt this good.
Oh, it's good.
What are they doing?
What do you think?
I don't know.
They're just fucking.
What?
You know what fucking is,
don't you?
HE LAUGHS
For fuck's sake.
Is this really what people do?
Yeah.
Do you do it?
Yeah.
- Like that?
- Yeah.
Do girls like it?
Yeah.
So what do you wank to, then?
You do wank, don't ya?
Oh. Oh, yes.
Well, what do you think about,
then?
I think about Edna Purviance,
mostly.
- Who?
- Edna Purviance.
In Charlie Chaplin.
In A Woman Of Paris.
- What you doing?
- Looking her up.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
State of you.
- It's a cardboard box.
- It's not a cardboard box.
- Well, what is it, then?
- It's a premium
Right? cardboard coffin.
Jesus Christ.
Tell you what, fuck the coffin.
Let's see if we can fold him up
and squeeze him into
I'm just thinking
- I don't know, a food bin or something.
- That's not what I'm saying.
I just want everything to be
as proper and normal
as possible.
Yeah, yeah. So don't
you think we ought to tell him
that his mum was not gobbled up
by goblins?
- It's monsters.
- Yeah, monsters.
I know. They said that we need
to take it slowly in case
- What?
- His bloody brain melts
and dribbles out his nose,
I don't know.
What you talking about?
Hiya, Danny, love.
Erm Nothing.
Why don't you go sit down and
and I can make you
some some toast or
VICAR: So, family will sit
near the front.
You can obviously sit together.
And then other friends,
other people will sit further back
on the other side.
Have you ever attended
a funeral before, Danny?
No. No, he hasn't, no.
I've seen some in films.
Oh, well, that'll do.
And what were they like,
these funerals?
Very sad?
Lots of people in black?
Rain pouring down?
Well, I'm sure your dad
wouldn't want you
to be sad, now, would he?
No.
So what say
we have a celebration?
Of your dad,
with songs and stories
and no rain.
Can't promise that last bit,
but I'll have a word.
OK, then.
Now, why don't you tell me
more about him?
HE TAPS ON PHONE
MOANING RESUMES
DANNY: He told stories
and we watched films
all the time.
And we played golf sometimes.
- Where did you play?
- Downstairs.
He he knew everything.
About books and music.
And he taught me
how to fix things
and how to shoot.
Ah! OK, a marksman.
What did he like to shoot?
- Monsters.
- OK, right.
I think
that's probably enough now.
- Innit? Shall we?
- What?
Shall we just get you
back to the car, love?
No, it's all right.
Erm, I'll just be
I'll just be
a couple of seconds.
- What, you're?
- You just go on.
OK.
Er
Yeah, there's probably
some things I should tell you
about my brother.
ON RADIO: A lot
of nine-fingered boys ♪
In the village ♪
They haven't got
much choice. ♪
Will you ring your dad,
ask if he's coming to the funeral?
Aaron?
I'll ask him when he calls me.
He won't call you, though,
will he?
You know what he's like.
I won't get a chance
to ask him, then, will I?
Why won't he call you?
Cos he hates Paul.
He don't.
- Don't he want to speak to you?
- Danny.
But he's your dad.
RADIO VOLUME BLASTS
Take flight, take flight! ♪
Pow.
You look like a gangster.
Oh, well, yeah.
- Pow.
- SHE LAUGHS
It's a bit big, though,
isn't it?
- Huh?
- The suit.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I were just thinking that.
That's just what
I were thinking.
It's fucking shit.
No, it's just big.
Yeah, no, that's just what
I were thinking.
Come on, let's have a look
at some other sizes.
Danny, come on, let's see you.
I don't like it.
It's too tight.
- It's stupid.
- What?
You look like a film star.
No, I don't.
It's not right.
You don't want it too small.
Look.
Perfect.
See?
Now, shall we try the trousers?
Yeah, course.
I just work here,
I'm not trying to fuck you.
Oh
No. God, no. I didn't
All right, Mr Lover-Lover?
Christ, Aaron,
what do you look like?
An absolute cunt, obviously.
Those trousers were massive,
that's why you looked
so ridiculous.
You said I were a medium.
I told you I'm not.
Look, do you know what?
I'll ask Paul, right?
I know you're smaller than him,
but I'll just, like,
- roll the trousers up
- What about that one?
Er Danny, love, it's lovely,
but it's a bit old-fashioned.
People might think
you're a bit odd.
It's perfect.
I'll get by ♪
As long as I have you ♪
MUSIC FADES, SOUND DISTORTS
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
MUFFLED SCREECHES, SCREAMS
BED CREAKS GENTLY
SUE MOANS SOFTLY
- I can't sleep.
- Oh, fuck!
Jesus, Danny, love.
Ey up, Danny.
Are you all right, mate?
Oh, God. Come on, Danny,
let's go downstairs.
Come on, love. Go on.
Sorry.
Oh, God.
SPOON CLICKS AGAINST MUG
It was just a dream, love.
Here.
I, erm
I dug this out after
It's it's his wedding day.
It just helped me
to see him as he were.
LAUGHING, WHOOPING
Who are all those people?
They're your dad's friends.
Is that?
Yeah.
How did she die?
Love
I
I do want to talk to you
about it all.
OK.
It were an accident.
A car accident.
But that doesn't make any sense.
Danny,
I know how much
you love your dad
I just
I think
you need to understand, he
he didn't always do
what was right for you.
Yes, he did.
ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS
She'll be here.
You know what she's like.
- She's always late.
- God's sake.
- I'm not late, am I?
- No, no.
- No, it's fine.
- Fucking boiler packed up.
- Right. OK.
- Ta.
Er, Danny? This is Angie.
She knew your dad way back.
Hello, sweetheart.
You all right?
All right, you go in there,
love.
Danny, come on.
Will more people come?
Er
No, love, this is
This is probably it.
Sit down.
ORGAN MUSIC STOPS
Welcome.
We are gathered to celebrate
the life of Steve.
A loving father.
A devoted brother.
A keen golfer
and an avid movie watcher.
Some years ago, Steve suffered
the terrible loss
of his beloved wife, Sarah.
That he struggled in the wake
of such tragedy is no surprise.
And though we don't excuse
his subsequent actions,
I hope that we can find it
in our heart to forgive him,
as the Lord will forgive him.
And now a song
that Danny's chosen,
one that meant a lot
to him and his dad.
MUSIC STARTS
Out in the West
Texas town of El Paso ♪
I fell in love
with a Mexican girl ♪
Nighttime would find me
in Rosa's Cantina ♪
Music would play
and Feleena would whirl ♪
Blacker than night
were the eyes of Feleena ♪
Wicked and evil
while casting a spell ♪
My love was deep
for this Mexican maiden ♪
I was in love,
but in vain I could tell ♪
MUSIC FADES TO BIRDSONG
Good service, that, I thought.
- Mm.
- Nice, that vicar, wasn't he?
Hey, Ange,
how's your Tony getting on?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's good.
Is he still driving
that old Citroen?
Oh, it's the bane of
my fucking life, that Citroen.
Yeah.
You all right, Danny, love?
Why didn't anyone come?
Well, it's a tricky one.
He'd been gone away a long time.
I thought we were supposed
to talk about him.
I thought someone would tell
a nice story or
Yeah, no, do you know what?
You're right.
Paul, love, should we
should we talk about Steve
for a bit?
Yeah, course.
Great.
Ange?
What?
You must have a few stories
about him.
You knew him
very well back then.
What, were you two going out?
No.
He took you out, though, once,
didn't he?
Yeah.
Actually, yeah.
He did, actually.
He took me out for dinner.
It was lovely.
Where'd he take ya?
Erm, you know
that Hungry Horse place
- up by the motorway?
- Right, yeah.
Er, it's nice.
Mm!
What did you have?
Well, I wasn't hungry,
but they were doing
this two meals
for a fiver thing,
only one meal wasn't 2.50,
it was like, erm
ah, four quid,
so Steve ended up
getting the two meals!
Just for him.
Erm, fish and chips and, erm
Oh, a curry.
It was smart, really,
if you think about it.
He was a smart, smart bloke.
Is that it?
It was a fucking shame
what happened.
He should've got longer,
- that fucking bloke.
- Ange.
A year for a hit-and-run?
- You get more than that for a fucking
- Ange!
He was never the same
after that, your dad.
What's she talking about?
- We'll talk about it later, love.
- Who?
Erm about about the man
who was, er
who was driving the car that
killed your mum.
You told me it were an accident.
It were an accident, but
I do want to talk to you
about it all.
I want to do it properly,
you know. I just
I don't think this is
well, the right place, so
Nice one.
He had to know.
Not like that.
Don't worry about Angie.
She's a fucking bitch.
What's a hit-and-run?
Erm
It's that
It means that, erm
When he, er, when he hit her
he didn't he didn't stay.
Like, to help.
He ran.
Drove off.
So there is one monster.
Corrections by bird