South of Nowhere s01e05 Episode Script

Girl's Guide to Dating

- So do you know how to work that? - No, not exactly.
But have you seen any Indy films, lately? They've no clue what they're doing and yet it doesn't stop them.
And they're still winning awards.
- Now, okay.
- What kinda movie are you making? It's an art film with underpinnings of sexual tension.
I was thinking of entering it into the West Hollywood check out my shorts film festival.
Now tell me about your first time having sex.
- What? - Come on! This is where the sexual underpinnings come in.
My documentary is about people's first time having sex.
I already made my entry.
Let's go.
No.
No way.
On tape? Not gonna happen.
Hey mister beautiful mind.
No one has ever got 100% on Quigley's physics test.
Must feel awesome! Yeah it does.
I studied really hard and I'm glad it paid off.
You should be very proud of yourself.
I know that I am.
- Yeah? - Yeah! So, what are you gonna do to celebrate? What do you wanna do for yourself that you haven't gotten around to? - Explore the big coral reef.
- Okay, cool dream.
Why don't you let me know.
if there's something that you wanna do here in town to celebrate Maybe we can do it together.
Together? Sweet.
No, thank you.
I told you, people don't want things like that on tape.
- I mean, it might get in the wrong hands.
- Okay, only if you're totally lame.
I'm not Paris.
And you guys do know that by denying me of my artistic expression, You could send me down a path of self destruction.
You survived it before, you'll do it again.
Okay, see, this is why having history people can have its drawbacks.
- Madison, I need you.
- That's obvious.
And that was a gift.
No, seriously, I'm doing this documentary for a film festival.
And I need someone with star quality.
Star quality.
Finally you've got something right.
Now she's never gonna get the big head trough the door.
Unless you're breathing, don't open your mouth.
Okay, so you will do it, right? Now, tell us about your first time having sex.
Go.
Oh my God, was it that long ago that you can't remember? Don't even What? You might just wanna try a more subtle approach.
Yeah, ask people privately.
Not in a crowd.
Good advice Alright, I'll see you guys later.
Privately.
- How do I How do I do it? - Right, you just go right up to her, like: - Hey sexy, wanna go out Friday night.
- And what if the girl says no? Kind of caught me off guard with that one.
Nobody actually have ever say no.
- Seriously? Never? - Yeah.
Hey baby, what are we doing this weekend? - Whatever you want.
- I love that man.
See, bro? It's all in the delivery.
Sandy Zine, beautiful, blonde.
Oh, no, she wasn't my first.
I knew Tyler Emerson before I knew her Wow, that was a good night.
We were by the lake.
Oh no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait Dude, do not even tell me that you do not remember your first time.
I've been active okay? Give me a minute.
I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with guys like you anymore.
- Off! - Off my computer? Yeah, mine has a virus and I actually have homework to do.
You know, if you weren't all fast and loose on the computer, then, you wouldn't be bringing home all those cyber diseases.
Look, I need to get this paper done, or I won't be able to play.
And then you'll be the reason we'll lose.
Can you live with that? And you know, you're actually not doing anything, so Out! Do not download any porn, I don’t want to come and read my email and be looking at some girl’s giant circus boobs! No way! - Ashley? Nude, nude? - Yeah, I'm telling you.
Like, like you could see everything.
It was - Just how long were you looking at her? - Brief.
Quick, really.
- Who's sending you porn? - I don't know, it was an unknown user.
That girl's a freak.
- Oh, who's ready for their close-up? - Can we please get this over with? - Temperamental actors! - I can't see this.
- Why? You're gonna see the film anyway.
- Maybe, maybe not.
I might just wanna keep the mystery alive.
Okay, Aiden.
First time.
Go.
Okay, I had a job cleaning pools.
And I kept getting called back to the Marsh residence.
I mean, it was a mansion, really.
Ridiculous.
Some old rich But good old Mrs.
March hated leaves in her pool.
So she would call me back three or four times a week.
One day, she asked me to come in the house.
Okay, wait, wait wait a minute.
You did not loose your virginity to some old Bel Air prune, did you? No.
First of all, it was the third Mrs.
Marsh, and she was about 25 or 26.
I mean Smoking, a California ten.
Hot.
Cool.
Clay, man, what you gonna do is you gonna take her to dinner.
Then you gonna hit up this motel on Pico and Third right? I hear they don't check IDs.
It's not gonna happen.
I just wanna get to know her and have a good time.
You're gonna have a good time if you get her to the hotel! Hey, you better watch out.
Ashley's on a mission to get ten 'losing it' monologues.
- I already did it.
- What? Are you crazy? Okay, Clay, let's hear it.
First time? Go.
Oh God, come one, I can't hear my brother do this.
There's nothing to hear.
Hey man it's cool.
You know, most time aren't that spectacular anyways.
- I mean, except mine.
I was great - Guess what.
Not about you right now.
Okay, come on, Clay, give it up.
It hasn't happened yet.
I'm a virgin.
Cut.
Come on, you have to do this for me.
You got plenty of other people confessing their most intimate experiences.
- You don't need me.
- Yes I do.
Come on.
There's a way uneven balance.
There are more no times than first times.
And plus, when my film becomes a cult classic, You'll be sitting on the sidelines, depressed.
I don't think it's right to document everything that we do.
I mean, maybe it's the privacy and intimacy that keep special moments special.
No, you're special, that's why I love you.
Okay, fine.
I'll ask you about your first time.
Like as a rehearsal.
No and No.
- Hey, Aiden.
- Oh Hi.
What? I swear, I didn't see anything.
Oh, right.
I was trying to find a good time to tell you about that.
Okay.
How about the minute you found out? Where did you get this from? I I don't know.
Somebody did a mass spam to the school student body.
Of your body.
Ash, are you okay? Yeah, that's right.
It's me.
Are you all happy? - Dinner.
Conversation.
- Clay, yo, she's fine, that's for sure.
Yo, but you don't need to make this an investment man.
Save your money until you know you gonna get the honey.
It's not a big deal.
Just a little dinner and some conversation.
And then you go to heaven.
I don't think it's gonna get that far tonight, okay? Cool, cool.
Yo, but if it does, take you time, man.
You've been growing up to white folks in the Midwest.
Your God-given romantic skills are outta line.
Okay, when I'm with her, I'm not the black guy in the white house.
Or the guy that's supposed to get the good grades.
I'm just just me.
Just a man.
That's deep.
Yo but since you're just a man, you're still better be ready in case it goes your way.
My first time was after a prom.
My date took me back to his house.
His parents were asleep.
It was like 3 in the morning.
And we were just gonna take a quick nap before we met some friends for breakfast.
Yeah, right.
For real.
Seriously.
At least that's what I wanted.
But he was so cute and a real sweet talker.
So it suddenly became the prom where I lost my virginity.
I haven't been to a prom since.
You're not wearing that, are you? You're never gonna fix your problem.
- What? I got a problem? - Yeah! Virginity thing.
See, my problem is you getting into my business.
Look, it is cool.
It will happen when it happens.
Okay, so let's make that tonight.
Look, the first impression sets everything up.
And the shirt, it says, you know: 'I'm happy not getting any'.
- Oh is that what it says? - What you need is like: 'You know I'm cool and relax, and if you're not with me, somebody else will be'.
A shirt can say all that? Yeah.
Look, I'll let you borrow one of mine.
Now the pants.
The loser, the better.
Okay? You never know when she's gonna break down and give in.
So you wanna be easily accessible at all times.
Glad we don't share the same DNA.
Her mama was going to church.
And man, I was feeling for this girl.
So I go over to the house and we started talking.
I tell her I'm leaving for the army.
She didn't believe me at first, but my game was tight.
Eventually, she let me in.
Yo thank God for Baptist Sunday school goes on for hours.
She was She was the most gentle person.
I ever met.
She She was shot two summers later on the boulevard.
Dead before she even got to the hospital.
She was.
.
she was cool.
- I can't see very well.
- Whatever.
Listen.
You look beautiful.
but besides trying to spice up our love life, what is the point of this mask? I don't know, Arthur, I didn't plan the party.
Can you just deal with it, okay? And not complain for the next three hours.
What are you so tense about? Nothing, it's just, you're gonna meet everyone.
And socializing with people from work is always stressful.
I just wanna get this over with, no more questions.
- Oh, you look so handsome - And accessible.
Oh mom, thank you so much for letting me use your car.
I love you.
Now, how do we look? Oh, family role playing.
I did that with my parents in therapy.
That didn't help.
We're going to a fundraiser with a Mardi-Gras theme okay, let’s go.
Oh, cool.
Hey wait.
Actually I'm really glad you guys are here cause I need your help.
Sure, Ash, what can we do for you? Well it's for my film.
And, I needed an older generation's perspective.
Not now, we really have to go.
Let's go.
No, no, please, if I just get you two guys, then I only need one more to wrap it.
Okay, now when was your first time? My first time what? You know, first time you had sex.
Lost your virginity.
And action.
Oh my Gosh.
Kids, have you done this? No.
- I plead the 5th.
- Not applicable.
I wanna see adult perspective.
On my wedding night.
Let's go.
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay, which one? I've only had one.
Let's go! Oh, sorry.
I was thinking about my mom.
- You, mister C? - Oh me? Ho On my wedding night With her, Paula And we gotta go, it's late.
- Gotta go too.
See you guys later.
- Okay, we'll be back by midnight.
Good night, Clay.
Hey, just check your pockets, cause I slipped you some raincoats.
I'm predicting thunderstorms for you man.
- Disgusting? - What? So give me the Chelsea Lewis life story.
There’s not really much to tell.
I grew up in Kober City, took art and dance classes on the weekends.
The art became a passion.
I just I wanna be an artist.
I wanna finish school and get on with it.
That's it? The woman of my dreams can be described in what? Three sentences? Okay hold on.
I working on trying to become the woman of my dreams.
- I don't need the added pressure.
- No added pressure.
What about you? What's the down and dirty on Clay Carlin? You know my recent history.
My earlier was rough.
Foster care Seven homes since I was one.
One home had six kids and didn't particularly care for one child.
But hey, they wanted the tax.
So how did you end up with the Carlins? My dad is a social worker.
My case came across his desk.
He was the first person that ever listen to me.
Then one day, he asked me: "Do you wanna be a part of my family?" I said I do.
So it seems like it worked out pretty well.
Yeah it did.
But in the beginning I thought they were gonna send me back like anyone else.
Man, I tried so hard to be the perfect kid.
- Why is that? - I have no idea.
Little kid, you know.
Good grades, quiet, polite.
No problems, no waves.
And I've been a Carlin ever since.
- Black eye rich? - Yeah, that's good.
So do you ever think you'll wanna find your real family? They are my real family.
Sixth and Alameda, right in the corner.
An hour? You're kidding me? Okay, we'll look for you.
- Do you think I planned it? - Why am I not surprised? Come on.
Never mind, Arthur.
It's probably just as well.
- Do we have to do this again? - What else are we gonna do for an hour? We could do a repeat performance of how we really did it the first time.
It was in a car.
- That shouldn't have happened.
- That night gave us Glenn.
Yeah and that night changed our lives forever.
It was worth it for me.
It wasn't for you? Hey, look at it this way.
Someone's gonna show your naked body to an entire school, At least they'd picked a hot photo.
Why, Spencer Carlin, I think that was a compliment.
Why, you're very welcome.
So why all the glitter make up? Why not? Add a certain flash, don't you think? Definitely a touch of 'class'.
You do know that's not me, right? I mean, it's my face, but not my butt.
Ok, that's your story and I'm happy to stick to it.
No, seriously, look.
I do not have a birth mark on my thigh.
- No way.
- Way! The power of Photoshop.
- So it adds to the mystery of moi.
- Who would do that? Madison.
Bitch.
You were Madison's friend? Yeah, freshman year.
And up until last year she was cool until I started hanging out with Aiden.
You know, I'm sure you could play this little computer game.
And better.
Or worse.
You're a good kisser.
You need company? No, Glenn gave those to me on the way out.
Subtle is not his thing.
Guys are all the same.
In a way, in a way that's true.
Listen, I never even assume that we would get here, really.
But I'm glad I've got them, in case, I can be safe or we could be safe.
Does that "Aww shucks" sweet boy thing get you hooked up where you come from? Listen, listen.
I've never hooked up with anybody.
Okay? I've never even got close.
really? Why not? Maybe I just Haven't met a special enough person.
Well maybe one day you'll think I'm that special person.
My first time with a girl was amazing.
My date, a guy Left and took off with some other girl.
And just left me completely stranded.
And this girl who had worked the door And offered me a ride Maggie.
We ended up at her place over in Beachwood Canyon.
I thought it was just gonna be an experiment.
And it was that moment between knowing what she wanted, and feeling safe enough to go there.
She made it gentle, Sweet, hot, fun and just sensual.
I hope I can do that for someone else someday.
Okay, you can cut it off.
Classic.
It's been a wonderfully evil idea.
So unlike you, Spence.
Maybe there's more to me than you know.
Well I can only hope.
Oh girl, your business is hanging out everywhere.
Shut up.
That's not me.
You know I don't have those pierce.
You could help.
When did you get those pierce? He was cute and I thought I was in love.
I mean, aren't you supposed to be if you go all the way? Anyway, his family had horses, and they lived in this really cool farm.
So we went to the barn, and we were excited because we were both virgins.
And we knew it was gonna be some incredible experience.
I mean, it had to be, otherwise why would everyone be so obsessed with it, right? Well, it wasn't incredible.
Not even fun.
It was over almost before it began.
And I cried.
I don't know if I was happy or sad, or just relieved.
But I cried.
I wish I could have a new first time.
With someone I really do love.
Who gets me.
Maybe I will.

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