South Park s12e13 Episode Script

Elementary School Musical

South Park Look at Kenny's lunch.
A baloney sandwitch and water.
God damn, your family's poor, dude.
Hey you, fellas, wanna go see High School Musical three tonight? Bunch of kids from school are gonna go see it again.
What's High School Musical three? You know, a sequel to High School Musical one and two.
What's High School Musical one and two? This-- This is not even condom its only's baloney sandwitch.
What's High School Musical one-- DUDE! Its only V most popular thing with kids in our age group.
Yeah! Where the hell are you guys-- b-been? Peru.
And then I saw High School Musical three again on friday and guess who was there.
Briden Gueermo.
Briden Gueermo, oh, he's such a dream.
I'd give anything to be with Briden Gueermo.
But he'd never go for me.
I'm nobody.
That's not true, Red.
Everyone has something that makes him unique.
Everyone is special in their own way.
Move to the be and let your spirit out.
As long as we got each other we'll never have any trouble that's what be in francis about Oh, Yeah Everyone is special in their own way and we'll always be together What the hell are they doing? I've no idea.
Together we stay and every kid in school is special in their own way Dude, girls are such fags.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Boys! Are special in theyr own way! Girls! Are special like the birthday And always we dancing and singing alone here he comes [sings.]
Who the hell is that? That's Braden Gueermo.
We Sings and dances better than anybody.
He's already seen HM3 over a hundred times.
Everyone is special in their own-- Special in their own way Let it out, party people Are we the only ones here who are completely confused? Yeah.
I guess, we better check that movie out.
This-- is cool? [singing.]
This is cool? We are really getting old, you guys.
It says that DVD sold more copies than any DVD ever made.
They just released part three in theaters and they did 80 millions in opening weekend.
Well, I'm out guys.
If this is much cool today, I'm done.
I no longer have any connections with this world.
I'm gonna go home and kill myself.
Good bye, friends.
I don't care how popular being like these kids becomes, I'm not doing this.
I'm not doing it either.
Kenny? [mumbles.]
All right, we promised.
We have to swear to each other right now we'll never become this.
I swear.
Okay, good.
What happened? I thought you were gonna kill yourself.
I tried.
Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on.
You didn't die? Freakin' hybrids, man.
They just don't do the trick anymore.
All right, kids in seats, kids in seats.
Today we are going to discuss the Berlin Wall.
This was the wall in Germany that actually separated the communist east side and democratic west side.
East side, west side, whatever side you're on as long as we care about each other we can still have some fun Oh, man.
Oh, good kids.
God! This's sucks! Do you feel like maybe you l-l-loosing her, S-Stan? I don't know.
There's nothing I can do about it anyway.
Maybe you should just talk to her.
You know, a little conversation.
Tell her what you feel.
Sometimes you feel like there's a b-burning in sky, do you like-- Stop! All right, you then.
- Uh, Wendy? - Hi, Stan.
Look, I just want you to know.
If you want to, you know, be with that Briden kid, then you should.
What? I mean, I see the way you two are together and I don't wanna be in your way.
- Stan, that's ridiculous.
- It is? I would never leave you for Briden.
- Really? - No way, that'd be stupid.
I wouldn't have chance with Briden he could have any girl he wants.
There you go, feel better, p-p-pal? What am I supposed to do? I can't just sit back and watch some kid steal my girlfriend away.
I mean, Wendy says she'll never leave me for him.
But what if she just doesnt wanna hurt my feelings.
She said he could get any girl he wants and that means if he wanted, he could have my girl.
This is all so crazy.
I mean, really, how could my day get any worse? No-no.
No, I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
No, fuck off, I'm not doing it.
Oh, geez, you're no fun.
- Hey, Briden.
- Hey.
- Hi, Briden.
- Hi.
- Hey, Briden.
- Hey.
Hey, kid, over here.
Hey, uh, listen.
You know this whole singing and dancing thing you do - I think, you need to ease off a little bit.
- Huh? Yeah, look, I know you think the kids in school like you but actually they all getting really annoyed.
They are? Yeah, you don't know 'cause you're just a thirdgrader but take it from me, you're driving everyone crazy.
I don't blame them.
All that singing and dancing, I can't stand it.
You don't like doing it? It's just don't me.
What I really wanna do is just-- play basketball.
- Basketball? - I love it.
Always have.
I've missed a game on TV.
When my dad isn't making me rehearse.
I'd love to quit singing and dancing forever and just play ball.
You should do that.
You should join the basketball team, right now.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
What's stopping you? It's my dad.
He thinks basketball is for sissies.
If I don't do what he wants, he beats me.
No, dude, listen, you need to take a stand and tell your dad what you want.
- Really? - When you grow up into a fourthgrader you'll understand that you'll have to be tough and direct with your parents.
Go to your dad and tell him you wanna give up singing and dancing and join the basketball team.
You know, you're right.
I'm gonna talk to my old man tonight.
Sit up properly, Briden.
You know how strict your father is about posture.
Holai, dear, dinner's ready.
Okay, let's eat.
Dad, I need to talk to you about something.
Whoo, that sounds emotional.
What is it, son? What's on your mind? Whatever it is, you know, your dad has the time.
No, dad, can we just talk? If you can talk it, you can sing it.
You can lay down the rhyme and bring it.
Just put the melody to the words that you're saying and sing it-- Dad, I wanna join basketball team.
What did you say? This kid at school today told me I should what I wanna do.
That's what I really wanna do.
Basketball? No son of mine is going to be a sweaty little jerk.
But dad, it's what I really want.
There's no singing and dancing in basketball.
I know, it's kinda why I like it.
Don't you even think about it.
If I have a jerk for the son, I'd be the laughing stuck at the men's queer club.
It's my life, dad.
Don't make me slap you.
I will slap your face so superhard I'm the man of this house.
You disrespect me and you're gonna get slapped.
Maybe you should let him try it.
What did you say, woman? You aren't think fair.
That's it! I'm gonna slap you! No, please! I slap you.
I slap you.
I slap, slap, slap you.
I slapping you, slapping you silly 'cause you disrespected me.
You guys, I need to copy your math homework before class.
You're not copying my homework you lazy turd.
Fuck you, Kyle.
Oh god! Shut up! Shut up, god damned! Shut up! Hey, kid, what happened.
I thought you didn't want singing and dancing anymore.
Yeah, well, my dad blow gasket when I told him.
Then he beat my mom.
Dude, what did I tell you, you have to be tough and stand up for yourself.
Ga-- Mr.
Gary This kid wants to join the basketball team, he's really good.
Really? Look, I should be getting to class.
Hey, we sure could use you, kid.
I could never find enough kids that wanna play ball.
All the kids in the school fondly goes to the theatre department.
You see, they need you.
This is fate, kid, fate.
I don't know.
Look, just come in and recess and shoot some balls with the team.
Yeah, just get in and recess and shoot some balls with the team, god damn it.
Hey, that's great, Briden.
We might have a chance of winning now.
Briden! What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Ba-bow, ba-bow, ba-bow.
Dad, I was just messing around.
I drove by the school and saw kids on the playground doing music number and you weren't there.
You're here in the sports gym shooting baskethoops.
Hey, your kid is really good at this.
Don't talk to me, stupid jack asshole.
Just go easy on him, huh? You know what's this means? It means you're about to get slapped.
So, you're better shut up.
If he wants to play ball, you should let him.
I'll do it.
I'll slap the shit out of you.
He's just a kid.
You don't tell me how to raise my sons.
Slap it again! Dad, stop! You're trying to turn my son into little asshole sports person like yourself.
There, there's another slap.
Maybe you'll think next time you act, you-- Slap it, I'll slap it.
Aw, dad.
Dad, you're hurting me.
Shut up, Briden.
Oh, what's going on here, mr.
Gueermo? Get out of my way, Mackey.
You wanna piece of this? I'll slap everyone in this goddamn school if I have to.
You are never going to play shootinghoops, do you understand? You are gonna sing and dance and be the best at it.
- You're hurting my arm.
- Don't ask, boy.
Oh, shit! Oh, that's good, that's good.
Yeah, shoot that guy in the face, Kyle.
Yeah, nice.
You guys, this HM thing isn't gonna go away.
I think we better just get on board with it.
What? Are you crazy? No way dude.
We promised each other we would never do that, remember? [mumbles.]
I know but-- I think we're really starting become outcast at school.
We're loosing our creditability.
I mean, look at who you guys are hanging out with now.
Scott Malkinson for Christ sake.
What so bad about hanging out with me? Shut up, Scott Malkinson.
I'm Scott Malkinson, I've got a lisp and I've got a diabetes.
Hey, don't make fun of my diabetes.
Don't make fun of my diabetes, I'm Scott Malkinson.
You can rip on him but you guys are hanging out with him.
Doesn't that make you think maybe your cloud at school has slipped a little? Stan, you're just jelous about that thirdgrader.
And you think Wendy's gonna go for him unless you're gonna start singing and dancing too.
That isn't true.
Okay, that's totally true.
But you guys, we are at risk of becoming the unpopular kids.
Hey, that supposed to be my parallel pack.
That supposed to be my parallel pack, I'm Scott Malkinson I have diabetes.
High School Musical is so awesome.
- Mr.
Gueermo? - What? We're from child protective services.
There's some concern you might be physically abusing your child.
What? Who the hell have been saying that? We got a phone call from a concerned student.
Who wished to remain anonymous.
He's name is Stan Marsh.
You better just turn your asses around and get back in your little car 'cause there's world of hurt about to come your way.
Gueermo, we need to come in and have a word with your son.
Oh, by all means, you got the balls to come in? Do it-- Do it.
Hello Briden, my name is mr.
We just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes if that's OK and just maybe-- Yeah, there it is, slapped you! You probably think I'm finished, huh? No, there's another one! Oh my god! Don't worry, bitch, I didn't forget about you.
There's a slap for you.
Yeah there you go.
Here's the little rich round the back.
That's slap.
Oh god, please, you have to get away, he will never stop.
I'm going slapapy.
I'm going slap-slap-happy.
Slapady slapping you, teaching you a lesson for coming in my house.
What are you looking at, Robertson? They're here.
The audition results for the school musical is here.
Hey, you've got the lead, Wendy.
Who is the male lead? No surprise there, it's Briden.
I've got to be a stand in.
Congratulations, Briden.
Guess, we'll be working a lot together.
Yeah, great.
God damn it.
No matter what I do, this kid just won't stop.
And now they're gonna be in the show together.
Jesus, it's all over for me.
They'll probably even have a kissing scene.
What did I do to deserve this? And what am I supposed to do now.
sooomeooone's in the kitchen with Dinah someone's in the kitchen I knooow someone's in the kitchen with Dinah Strumming on the old banjo.
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o.
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o-o-o-o.
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o.
Strumming on the old banjo-jo-jo Go tell Aunt Rodie go tell Aunt Rodie Go tell Aunt Rodie the old gray goose is-- Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to-- Hear the rhytm, now is the time to time It's time to go to bed It's time to call it a day You can reach the stars-- Oh, please, you have to do something.
What are you interrupting me for? It's our son, he's-- he's running away.
What? What's going on here? What's this all about? What are you think you're doing? Dad, I'm sick of you trying to always-- No-no! Sing it.
No! I'm sick of singing.
Can you believe what he just say? What's the matter with kids these days? Kids these days-- Kids these days.
Just go right back to your room and sing a ballade, mister.
Just let me go.
Go ahead, make my day.
You'll get upstairs or I will slap you until there's little red hand, prince, all over your face.
Oh my god, what was that? Did you see that? Oh my god, it hurts so bad.
What the H is going on? Well I had to see it to believe it.
I told you guys.
He's been watching High School Musical over and over again.
Actually, this is High School Musical two, it has dance along part.
We said, we won't be a part of this fag and look at you.
Look you guys might be fine with being outcast and hanging out with Scott Malkinson but I'm not.
You know what? At least Scott Malkinson has some selfrespect.
At least Scott Malkinson doesn't cave in to a peer pressure and start doing musicals.
Scott Malkinson has a list and diabetes, nobody's gonna let him do a musical.
That's enough guys, it's not cool.
Lots of pepole have diabetes and you shouldn't be-- You shouldn't rip I care for diabetes, that's not cool, I'm Scott Malkinson.
Look, guys, the world is changing.
We can't fight it, we have to change with it.
I've been watching these movies and from the looks of it there's gonna be a lot of singing and dancing when we get to the high school.
And if you think we'll gain any respect by ignoring this thing and being individuals then think about this.
Right now everyone thinks Butters is way cooler than any of you.
That's a low blow, Stan.
Through team fell on Weshe Bobkids, Kyles.
All right, you're ready to get in there, Bryden? I'm ready, coach.
Give 'em hell.
Just the minute to go in the first quarter.
Hey, Bryden, how come your musical rehearsal last night? I joined the basketball team.
I gave up singing and dancing, I'm just not in to it.
- You gave it up? - That's right.
You know, sometimes you just have to go and do what your heart tells you These things were all good at and we can't just keep them bailed up inside.
Where'd everybody go? The girls and Wendy go out to see Bryden practices basketball.
But the girls like singing and dancing.
No, I think the girls just like that Bryden kid.
No matter what he does.
But-- No, we just-- no, no way, we just got--
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