Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s06e04 Episode Script


I can't believe this. Me, Space Ghost, hero to millions,
stuck here in space prison like some common thug while my show's
about to go on without me, all because I mistreated my former
teen sidekicks, jan and jace, and allegedly assaulted my
current sidekick/bandleader, zorak, in that "lawsuit"
Cyclo lives!
Mind your own business, you common thug!
La la la la la la la la la la la
Hey, cyclo was watching that!
Cyclo lives for that program!
My show is on now.
Give me that, you little dip.
La la la give cyclo the remote!
Cyclo doesn't like this at all!
Try getting it back, mister!
Cyclo must have the remote!
You want you some?
Then come get you some!
Cyclo will come get him some!
Cyclo will exact his revenge!
Everybody shut up, or I'll whup ya
like it's the sixties all over again!
The set looks strangely bright.
I thought David brenner was supposed to be the guest host.
Hey, where's David?
He blew up in the airlock.
Oh. I thought those were beets Mashed beets.
Ha ha! Should I run a mop through it?
No. Let's track him all over.
Uh, ok. Well, let's get things started.
UmGreetings, citizens.
Uh, thanks for tuning in, folks.
I'm, uh Birdma--
Sorry. I'm a bit woozy.
I was selling plas Uh, I mean, uh, donating blood when I got
the call to fill in for, you know who--the criminal.
Let he who hath not assaulted his
teenage sidekicks cast the first stone.
That's what I thought.
The producers have been good enough to move the ghost planet
closer to the sun so I can use its life-giving golden rays to
bring you exciting, razzmatazz showbiz, um Excitement.
Meet the new boss.
Dumb as the old boss.
And if, uh, my wife is watching, I just wanted to say, honey
I love you.
I'm better now.
Come home, baby.
Yeah. Come get some.
Ok. So, I'm going over there.
I could use an adult beverage.
How long till the break?
No breaks for you, chump.
Mmm. Story of my life.
UmI'd like to give a bright and shiny welcome to
my very first guests, um The captain and
The captain and the tennille.
Welcome to my show.
Thank you!
So which one of you is the captain, anyway?
Ha ha! He is.
Can you buy these masks at junk shops,
that you're wearing, by the way?
Honey, that's not a mask. That's him.
I'm not sure I follow.
That's probably because of 4,000 billion light-years between us.
Darrrryl! Darrrryl!
Well, actually, it's because--why are you chanting "Daryl"?
That's his name.
Daryl dragon.
Oh! That's clever.
All right.
I really love that "muskrat" song.
My wife Sylvia and I It was our song. She left me, you know.
Boy, that's That's tough!
I've tried everything to get her back.
I don't know what to do.
I would.
If you don't give each other a little space, your
relationship won't last.
I give her at least 100 yards, as per court order.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Sylvia come back come back
That's the last straw!
I've got to get my bleeding chat show back from that bloke.
What are you doing, Space Ghost?
I'm breaking out of this wretched hive of scum and villainy!
Where did Space Ghost get those power bands?
I fashioned them from my own by-product. Come touch them.
They're still warm.
Cyclo will pass.
Bye-bye, my love.
And now to the ghost planet to
take back what is rightfully mine!
Ok, I'm lost.
Respect each other's opinions.
Hey, birdman!
And you have to, uh Your wife's on the phone.
Listen to each other Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Moltar, put her on.
Sweetie! Galaxy pie!
I was just talking about you.
Hello, Harvey.
Did you get my messages?
I'm sorry I had to birdcall collect.
Harvey. Down, boy.
Um, ok. Hi.
So, um, how's avenger?
He, um Flew away.
Is that right?
Look, I've--I've got a show again, a whole show! You always
said they'd be crazy to give the birdman a show again,
but here I am with a show.
Can I come home now? Can I?
Oh, no, Harvey.
At least let him use the shower!
A cockroach!
Gravity ray!
Aah! Help! Help!
Hey, the ceiling fan!
Hey, boy! Come on, over here.
Rock monkey, want a peanut?
Go away, Space Ghost!
We don't want your kind in our idyllic alien home world.
Aw, come on, zandor.
All I want is directions.
And a pierogi.
Ow! Hey, hey, quit it, you hippies!
Get lost, you creep. We saw what you did to jan and jace.
Rotten hippie-monster commune! After birdman, you're next!
Look, Harvey, I didn't exactly call to chat.
I need you to sign the papers.
Papers? What papers?
The divorce papers, Harvey.
Remember those? The ones you were supposed to sign months ago?
Baby, don't make me sign the papers. I'm better now,
I swear. Space Ghost is out.
The birdman is in!
You just don't get it, do you? It's over, Harvey!
I'm sorry. I need to get on with my life, so I need you
to sign the papers--now.
Galaxy girl, please! I'll straighten up and fly right,
I swear. I'll stop gambling.
I'll go back to therapy.
I'll try harder to clean up my droppings.
Harvey, stop it. You're embarrassing yourself in front
of the super villains.
Besides, you know falcon 7 is the man in my life now.
Huh? Falcon 7?
That beak-stabbing traitor.
What's he got that I haven't got?
Your wife.
Plus, falcon 7 is a real gentleman who knows how to treat a lady
with class and respect.
So, Moltar, ever made it with a chick
who can defy the laws of gravity?
Yes, many times.
Look, Harvey, don't make this harder on yourself.
Oh, all right. I give up.
Go have your stupid happy little life without the birdman.
You mean you'll sign the papers?
Whatever you want, dearest.
Ah, fantastic. Once you're done, steal a stamp,
and send them to my lawyer, Dr. nightmare.
Attorney at law!
Galaxy girl Ok. Bye-bye, birdie.
II know the sun is shining, but it feels so cold.
PleaseSomebody Won't somebody just hold me?
What in the name of the coefficient of the speed
of light multiplied by the red shift
to the hypotenuse of the nth root
Nobody gets you.
Niels bohr gets me.
But You're supposed to be in jail.
Yeah, and you're supposed to be dumpster-diving for
ham scraps, you 6-piece chicken mcnobody! Get out of my seat!
Make me.
Destructo ray.
Solar shield and solar ray.
Hamster tube!
Hamster tube?
And hamster ray!
Sarin gas!
Sarin? Whoa, hold on a second. Timeout!
Time in!
Atomic wreck.
Get off my spacecycle!
Purple nurple!
Muskrat, muskrat No! Atomic wedgie!
It's time to take a bird bath, bird-brain!
Doin' the town and doin' it right in the evening
Destructo ray!
It's pretty pleasing Ow! Hey, knock it off!
Will you guys shut up!
I'm trying to listen here.
Muskrat Sam forgive me, birdman.
Do the jitterbug I've been rash.
I've misjudged you, my friend.
And they shimmy Sam is so skinny and they whirl and they twirl
and they tango singing and jingin' a
jango floating like the heavens above
Sing along!
Looks like muskrat looooove
And that's it.
Thank you.
I love you, birdman.
The nightmares They're relentless.
And they're all coming from space!
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