Speechless (2016) s03e22 Episode Script

U-N-R-- UNREALISTIC

1 Once upon a time, there was a woman.
And the woman gave birth to a beautiful, incredible boy who all the nurses agreed was "quite a looker.
" But not everyone saw what she saw.
That the boy was unstoppable.
They said her dreams for him were "not realistic.
" I'm sorry, Mrs.
DiMeo.
Your son's ability to interact with the world around him will be very limited.
I'm just being realistic.
Insurance won't cover it.
JJ will never be able to operate a power chair.
Please be realistic.
Our school doesn't have the resources to mainstream your son.
It's not realistic.
MAYA: But she was wrong.
And she was wrong.
And he was wrong.
And never validated my parking.
Over the years, the pair proved wrong every person who said that incredible boy's dreams were "not realistic.
" And now, here we stand on the brink of this incredible boy graduating and going off to college.
And I'll tell you what I told all of them I want this for my son.
Don't tell me it's not realistic.
Well, our graduation photos come in standard sizes.
But, okay.
We'll do a special order.
Yeah, he was right.
That is too big.
[LAUGHS.]
TOGETHER: N-Y-U! N-Y-U! - N - Today is the day my boy is getting into his dream school.
"Where he'll go with his dream girl.
" I know, and I'm the most excited one here! N-Y-U! N-Y-U! I'm the most excited one here with dignity.
TOGETHER: N-Y-U! N-Y-U! N [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
Pretending to be excited about NYU? It's just so bloody exhausting! I mean, I don't know why I agreed.
Hon, we don't even know if he's gonna get in.
He's getting in.
A mother knows.
All right, help me practice my happy face.
Go on.
Tell me he got into NYU.
JJ got into NYU! Aaaaggghh! No notes.
Oh, you're not getting back into model trains, are you? It's a replica of the Golden Gate Bridge.
A little father-daughter activity Dylan and I are working on.
You know the special relationship we have.
She relishes any chance she has to spend time with me.
It's really sweet.
Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
It's your homework?! Did Mom tell you? Damn foreigners.
I tried to do it myself.
I It was too hard! I didn't have the right supplies, I couldn't figure out what to do - No more excuses.
- Whoa.
You just sounded like a real dad there.
Well, you tried to manipulate your dad, you're gonna get a dad lesson.
Do the work and see how rewarding that can be.
Or half-ass it and deal with the consequences.
Fine.
Gimme a quick refresher.
This is a It's the Golden Gate Bridge.
KENNETH: Dude! When were you gonna tell me about the speech you're giving at graduation? "Oh, yeah.
The class chose me.
" This is incredible! I've been thinking a lot about our goodbye to Lafayette, to each other.
Now we have our forum.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, what are you gonna say? "I'm just gonna wing it.
" Wing it? Oh, no.
You are no good on your feet, so I end up standing there reading, looking like an idiot.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're writing that speech, Mister! Laura, looking lovely.
Sara, simply stunning.
Yara Ya-ra ten! Ray, word in the girls' bathroom is you're being way more desperate than normal.
What's up? Junior class trip is coming up.
Technically, we're supposed to be studying the native marine biology of Catalina Island, but everyone knows we'll be studying lips, hips, and fingertips.
Just truly disgusting.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- I got a B-plus on this.
- Very nice.
See what happens when you listen to your old man? What's this project? This is for work.
Your dad's got an interview at an architecture firm next month.
Yeah, it has just been flowing out of me.
I even made a bet with myself for extra motivation I am not gonna shave my mustache until I land some kind of architecture gig.
Wow, Dad.
I'm proud of you.
Y-You're proud of me? Uh-huh.
- This This matters to you? - Yeah.
You know what? I'm gonna do the mustache thing in solidarity.
Well, this isn't good enough.
It's happening! It's happening! They posted the acceptances! - Did he get in?! - I don't know.
Izzy just called to say that they're up.
JJ wants to FaceTime alone with her so they can check! Non-verbal.
- Oh, of course.
- Sure.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
- MAYA: It's happening! My little boy is getting into NYU! [LAUGHS.]
I'll save it for him.
- [THUD, BEEPING.]
- Oh, this is it.
All right, just give me a minute.
[SIGHS.]
Yay! Oh.
JIMMY: JJ.
Buddy Oh, my love.
I'm sorry.
I know how much you wanted this.
Please don't be sad, JJ.
Do you want me to call them? Mummy will call.
Mummy will scream! Okay.
But we're going to find the positive in this.
KENNETH: "NYU rejected Izzy, too.
She's going to Chapman.
I got into Irvine.
I'll go there.
" [CHAIR SQUEAKS.]
Irvine? [CHUCKLES.]
"The next town over" Irvine? That one? You You'd be happy with that? Going and being in the next town over ? Yeah.
Well, cool, cool, cool, yeah.
"You've pretended enough for one day.
You can be happy.
" Haaa-hahaha! [LAUGHS.]
Ohh, I think I've forgotten how.
- This is it.
- IZZY: Hey, JJ.
How many pizza bagels you think we can fit in here? - [LAUGHS.]
- MAYA: Aww.
She's not even reading - his words out loud anymore.
- Ah.
Wish there was a woman that could read my board like that.
All our units have automatic doors, accessible showers It's close to home, close to school, close to your love.
I mean, the shades are lovely, aren't they? - They're okay.
- She hates them! Get rid of them! [CHUCKLES.]
- What? - I just like watching people experience you for the first time.
So, you're really okay with JJ moving out? Well, it's mad, right? But it's not New York.
"This place is amazing.
" Is that an "I'll take it"? Great.
I'll get the paperwork.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Aww.
I'm so glad that this worked out.
I just want you to be happy.
Yeah, your mom's got your back.
Maybe there's room to mention it in your speech? "Nothing but room.
" - "I'm gonna wing it.
" - What? It's been a month! You didn't even start? Oh, I get it.
You're messing with me.
You say you'll wing it, but then you'll show up with the perfect speech.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay.
Good stuff.
JJ will be winging it.
What's wrong with you people?! - [GRUNTS.]
- Ooh! F-Found a dent.
Okay, Ray.
You're at camp with no dating prospects, but you do have spunk and seven new anecdotes.
What's happening? The trip just started.
COACH: Who said that? Ray DiMeo, Coach.
But you call me Oh, hey, nerdlinger.
All the guys in your grade locked me in my cabin with an angry raccoon.
Had to climb out a window, which I didn't realize was over a ravine.
They shouldn't put ravines under windows.
Wait, so the trip is cancelled? For those jackasses.
Sorry, Ray, I'm gonna have to leave you alone on this island with all your female classmates.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
So, I'm the only boy on this trip.
Get me away from this kid.
Hey, Dad.
[SIGHS.]
How's the model coming? Coming along great.
Great.
I just need to figure out how to Wait, have you done anything in a month? I grew a mustache.
Your interview's tomorrow.
You think I don't know that? All day, I try.
It's just so hard! Really? Well, well, well looks like somebody's not up to finishing their work.
[GASPS.]
Know who you should talk to 'bout that? My dad.
Seemed to have it all figured out.
This is different, Dylan.
This is for a job, not a grade.
I don't even have a real drafting pencil.
I can't be expected to finish this thing without a GraphGear 500 Automatic! [SLAMS TABLE.]
No more excuses! Buckle down, do your work, and you'll see how rewarding it can be.
Fine.
Only boy here.
Can't lose.
Brianna.
Flowers? Camille G? No? Danielle? Flowers for a rose? Anyway, it's gonna be Okay, am I really that bad? I understood you ignoring me when you had all the other guys here, but come on, ladies.
What gives? Maybe it's because we all learned that you take any attention as interest.
Also, raise your hand if Ray has hit on you.
Okay, the double hand-raise is unnecessary, Sarah.
Look, clearly there is something wrong with me.
I think it's time I find out what.
So, lay it on me.
You want to hear about everything that bothers us? I do.
We came here to study the biology of Catalina.
Instead, let's study the guy-ology of Ray DiMeo.
I hated that.
And we're off! You did all these? Dang, I dad-ded you up real nice.
No, I hate every single one I start.
That one's trying too hard.
That one's just lazy.
This one gave me a paper cut.
What are you doing? Finding the one you hate the least.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS.]
No! That one shows promise.
Good.
That one is your baby.
Finish it.
You were so excited.
What changed? You.
I was having fun.
It was easy.
Then you said you were "proud" of me, and it stopped being about fun.
If I fail, I disappoint everyone.
I disappoint you.
Me? [CHUCKLES.]
Dad, I've got fantastic news.
I don't care.
I love you.
But when you start talking your building stuff? It's all cartoon bears on unicycles up here.
Okay.
Hurtful, but but helpful.
Thank you, Dylan.
Anytime, Jimbo.
Oops! Hey.
Everything okay? [SIGHS.]
"It's Izzy.
Please don't get involved, but she broke up with me.
" Hello, Izzy.
Time for a talk.
Why didn't you ring the bell? [SINISTERLY.]
Oh, I like a good surprise.
What you said to JJ about breaking up? That was a bad surprise.
Can you stop using that sinister tone? [SINISTERLY.]
Is this better? JJ is the one you should talk to.
He can't plan his life around me.
We're kids.
It's not Don't say "realistic.
" It's a bit of a trigger.
[SIGHS.]
Fine, you want to know? We were in the store, looking at shams You're the sham! Sorry.
I actually do want to hear this.
JJ got an e-mail.
From NYU.
They're still writing him.
To reconsider coming.
He got in.
He what? [SIGHS.]
It's his dream and he said no to be with me.
I begged him to go, but he won't listen to me.
There's just one person he will listen to.
Okay.
What.
Is.
Wrong.
With.
Ray.
Might I be a, uh, hideous ghoul? I mean, not physically Interesting.
"Not physically hideous.
" Good.
All right.
Now let's talk negatives.
Ooh! Molly! You seem to particularly dislike me.
You're pretty insecure.
But weirdly also way too confident.
Insecure and too confident.
Bit of a paradox, okay.
SARAH: And I know this isn't really your fault, but you got too tall too fast.
- [MURMURING AGREEMENTS.]
- Okay.
Still writing the last one, Sarah, 'kay? [SIGHS.]
Fine! Don't write a speech! I don't care! Three years together and I ask you to do one thing! But noooo! Okay! Have a nice life! Just do bullet points, man.
No, huh? Just sit there with your sad face.
Yeah! You should be sad! You're a bum! A sad bum! Little context: Izzy just broke up with him.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
[CRYING.]
Just write a little! Look at me off to meet a potential boss for drinks at a swanky bar.
I feel like Don Draper.
You finished.
Nice work.
Thanks, Dylan.
Oh, hang on.
For good luck.
This is the exact pencil I said.
So you do listen.
And you care.
Get.
Feeling stompy.
Okay, so, finger guns are bad.
But let me ask you this: are they less bad if I get a leather jacket? - [GROANING.]
- DANIELLE: We don't know, Ray.
Okay? Get a leather jacket, don't.
What's the point? The point is to make this work.
With who? Anyone! I'm not picky! Any one of you works.
That's how it feels.
It's not about us.
Who picks flowers without knowing who they're for? That's not love.
Y-You're right.
I've been chasing a feeling, not a person.
You don't know us.
And you're so busy trying to get us to notice you, we don't get to know you.
I've been so stupid.
Maybe there's still time.
[SIGHS.]
Hi.
My name is Ray.
I'm not a lothario.
I've had one girlfriend and she said my kisses "needed work.
" I really like Rubik's Cubes.
I pretend I know how to solve them, but I don't.
So I carry around one to swap it out with.
I get sad when I'm not invited to parties, but strongly prefer using the bathroom at my house.
And I say all these things to a doll named Tony who I tell all my problems.
Damn, DiMeo! No way.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- They let you come back? My dad's a lawyer.
He said he was gonna sue the school.
Coach is coming from the hospital.
He's bringing beer.
CHAD: Too bad school's over, DiMeo.
We'll have to make fun of you for that stuff next year.
Aah! Hey, hey, guys! I've got a variety.
Hope that's cool.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
JIMMY: He got into NYU? Well, he has to go, right? Well, without question.
Except one question: does he have to go? Jimmy, he wants to stay.
For his high school girlfriend? I mean, New York is his dream.
I don't want him to go.
But I was ready to let him.
I don't have it in me to force him, Jimmy.
Maya.
Look at the big picture.
- It's just so stupid.
- Yeah.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Dr.
Miller! Shouldn't you be onstage mispronouncing Indian students' names? I've been practicing.
I plan to crush.
Now, I've come to expect an endearing tardiness from the DiMeos.
Your invitation says 11:00.
The ceremony doesn't start till noon.
Aww.
Congratulations, JJ.
We're really gonna miss you.
And we'll miss Bhagyasharee Shrinivasaraghavan-Mutyala.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Hi, Ray.
That's the third girl to acknowledge my existence today.
Oh, word in the girls' bathroom is you impressed everyone with how vulnerable and honest you were on the trip.
The junior girls have decided to make you their project next year.
You're gonna crush it.
I'm furious.
Uh, sorry, I had to take a phone call.
Wait.
Oh, my God! - They want me.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I can't bel Whoa, Dad.
You are bleeding.
What? Oh, yeah, do not shave with art class scissors.
Dad lesson.
Oh, buddy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Look at you.
"Let's talk speech.
" You'd do that for me? Thanks, JJ.
You're up next and that valedictorian girl is killing it.
- So, I had a few thoughts.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
JJ, I've got to talk to you.
No! No, you don't! Please! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Izzy told me you got into NYU.
I'm not saying you have to go, I can't.
But tell me what you're thinking.
You can tell me.
"I won't leave her, Mom.
" Again, I'm not saying you have to go.
But if you did it could still work with Izzy.
"Because I'm so good on the phone? Because I'm so worth waiting for?" "I found someone who loves me, Mom.
If I leave, I lose her.
I may never find someone again.
Be realistic.
" [LAUGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
My love, you know what you have to do.
I've opened so many doors for you, but you walked through every one.
And look what it got you.
[LAUGHING.]
This silly hat.
Don't tell me to be realistic.
Don't tell you, 'cause that's not what got you here.
You be afraid, fine.
But don't stay out of fear.
That's not what love is, darling.
This is love.
Go.
DR.
MILLER: Please welcome to the stage - your student speaker - [DOOR OPENS.]
- Buddy.
- JJ DiMeo! You're on.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- We love you! - JJ! - DiMeo! - Whoo! JJ! GIRL: Love you, JJ! [BEEPING.]
You wrote a speech? [LAUGHS.]
It's funny.
It just is.
Your words, my voice, for the last time.
Students.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
Facul ty [SNIFFLES.]
Brrrb.
[QUIETLY.]
Hold it together.
Hold it together.
[EXHALES SHARPLY, SNIFFLES.]
Don't do this.
[CROWD "AWW"ING.]
[SOBBING.]
I stand before you as a confi " [SOBS.]
[FEEDBACK.]
[SOBBING.]
I'm just so proud! [CLEARS THROAT.]
"My road to Lafayette was a long one.
The road ahead [VOICE BREAKING.]
is even longer.
I know " [CRYING.]
- Weenie.
- You just cried! JIMMY: I got this.
There's gotta be some some jokes in here somewhere, right? Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
"And who could forget the lunches? Beefaroni?" [VOICE BREAKING.]
"More like " You're right, son.
It is more like barf-aroni.
[SIGHS.]
MAYA: It's okay, Jimmy.
"Forget what I wrote.
I have one message.
A lesson I was learning every day for years without realizing it.
I learned it again today.
From my first teacher.
" I'm the king of my own land Take it home, Kenneth.
"It's a hard lesson.
It can make you do things you don't want to.
Like say goodbye.
" Facing tempests of dust, I'll fight until the end "Be unrealistic.
Be unrealistic.
Thank you.
" [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING.]
Hey! Watch where you're going, you [BLEEP.]
Time! Hey, only three hours late this time.
Two months until classes start.
We're gonna get you down to the DiMeo respectable 15 minutes in no time.
Okay! Let's try this again, people!