Sports Night (1998) s02e16 Episode Script

The Local Weather

Abby: Hello, Dan.
|Dan: Hey.
-- How are you?|-- Good.
Do you want|to close the door? Actually, I don't think we need to have a session today.
Okay.
-- Seriously.
|-- Yes.
I'm not saying|we're done completely.
I just don't think we need|to have a session this week.
Okay.
All right, then.
|I'm just gonna go.
Okay.
And I'll see you next week.
Sounds good.
-- Seriously.
|-- What time you got there? Announcer: I don't believe it!|29 feet, 8 1/4?! -- Hmm?|-- I said|what time you got? Huh? I'm sorry.
Um5 after 1 0:00.
Shouldn't we get started? No.
I'm not kidding.
-- Okay.
|-- I don't know why|you don't ever believe me|when I say I'm happy.
What's 29, 8 1/4? Nothin'.
[ Cheering ] It's a thing that|happened last night.
What? Believe it or not, Abby,|I'm not allowed to tell you.
-- You're not allowed|to tell me? By law?|-- Nope.
It involves the result|of a sporting event|that was tape-delayed -- happened in|the middle of last night|in Auckland, New Zealand, and my network's airing it|tonight in prime time, -- and they get a little|touchy about it.
|-- I get it.
You know, it was the same|thing in Nagano, Japan,|so you know how it is.
You want to close the door|and sit down? Nah.
I'm, uh,|I'm gonna head to the office.
-- Okay.
|-- You know,|the interesting thing is that at the beginning|of the week, I really couldn't have cared|less about this story.
I normally don't get that|excited about track and field.
I mean, I admire|the athleticism and everything, but, for me, there needs|to be an opponent.
You seem to get excited|about it on TV.
Well, that's my job.
When it's showtime,|it's showtime.
Roll VTR.
Stand by, four,|five, and six.
Dave: Stand by, animation.
|-- Where's Dan? Danny! Showtime! Jeremy, let's go.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
Computerized voice:|Welcome.
-- Preview Denver.
|Uh, get me Brett in L.
A.
|Will: Denver's up.
-- Jeremy, what's in that|computer you're waiting for?|-- Huh? -- You've been checking|your e-mail all day.
|-- Chris, show me Auckland.
-- I'm waiting for a letter|from my sister.
|-- Okay.
-- 30 seconds live.
|-- Auckland's up.
Can you hear me, Oscar? -- Is that Natalie?|-- It's Natalie stateside.
How you doin'? -- I'm doing okay.
|-- Just okay? -- I'm a little nervous.
|-- You jump better|than you talk? I do almost everything|better than I talk, Natalie.
One of these days, you're|gonna have to come up here|and prove that to me, Oscar.
You really can't get|excited about this? A guy jumping far|into a pit of sand? -- Ah, he's gonna set a new|world record, you know --|-- Okay.
-- 29' 5", if I'm any judge|in the art of the long jump.
|-- You're not.
Dave: In 32 Good evening.
|From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell|alongside Casey McCall.
Those stories, plus the T-wolves|go hunting in Motor City, the Sharks get jiggy|in San Jose, and, yes, we've got a Shaq|attack in Hackensack.
We'll take you|to Auckland, New Zealand, where Oscar Parrish is poised to demonstrate|that what jumps up may not come down|for an awfully long time.
You're watching|"Sports Night" on CSC.
|Stick around.
Dave: We're out.
Now, Oscar, you've had a decade's worth|of bad luck.
You were set to win|the gold medal at the world championships|in Berlin, and you tore an ACL|in the preliminaries.
We all knew you were gonna|break the record in Atlanta, and, of course,|the death of your father|on the eve of the games kept you|out of the competition.
So let me ask you|a stupid question -- how much does all that add|to the pressure on you? Oscar: Well, there's plenty|of pressure.
You know, all I've done|since I was 14 years old is try to jump|a quarter-inch farther.
I'm 33 now, and my legs|stopped getting stronger|a few years ago.
Is it fair to say this is your|last chance to set a record? Yeah, this is the ballgame.
You've got|a lot of people here|rooting for you, Oscar.
Go strap those wings on|your feet and knock us dead.
I'll do my best.
Oscar Parrish|from the Millennial Games.
A reminder from|our promo department -- you can catch|all the action from Auckland during CSC's prime-time|coverage of the Millennial|Games, live on tape delay -- I swear to God it says that --|"live on tape delay" --|tomorrow night at 8:00.
We'll be back and better than|ever with all the highlights|at 1 1 :00.
For Casey McCall,|I'm Dan Rydell.
You've been watching|"Sports Night" on CSC.
-- We'll see you tomorrow.
|-- Good night.
I actually know this one.
Mike Powell's got|the long-jump record.
-- 29 feet, 4 inches.
|-- You're not impressed? -- Do you know|whose record he broke?|-- No.
Then I'm not impressed.
So the world has to wait|till tonight to find out|if your guy did it? -- Oscar Parrish.
|-- Yeah.
Not the whole world,|just this half of it.
-- You already know.
|-- Yes.
-- You get it by Teletype.
|-- Teletype? -- That's not|what they call it?|-- That's what they called it|in Citizen Kane, but there's been significant|communications technology|progress since then.
We have|live satellite feeds now.
Weren't you leaving? Yeah.
'Cause you're feeling good.
Believe me,|don't believe me.
Okay.
You know, we're having a|perfectly fun conversation, you gotta go and put|your stethoscope on.
The meter's running.
No, the meter's not running.
|This wasn't an appointment.
-- Well,|that's a bit of a turnoff.
|-- Believe me when I tell you the last thing I'm trying|to do is turn you on.
-- Well, change whatever it is|you're doing 'cause --|-- I'll see you next week.
Say, speaking|of being turned on --|this'll take just a second since you know|the cast of characters.
Jeremy's in love|with an adult-film actress.
A porn star? I believe they prefer to be called|"adult-film actress.
" You think it's his reaction|to his breakup with Natalie? It's Jeremy|and a porn star, Abby.
Of course it's a reaction|to his breakup with Natalie.
I-I'm interested in this.
If I hadn't gone|to medical school, I was thinking|of being a porn star.
How long they been dating? It's not entirely clear whether|or not they are dating.
Last time I saw Jeremy, he was|heading out into a rainstorm.
-- Kim, come on.
|-- No.
Kimberly.
Track and field|at 2:00 in the morning? Elliot, where's your spirit? It goes home with me at midnight|when I'm done with work.
-- I'll order food.
|-- What kind of food? What kind of food|do you want? -- Mexican.
|-- Mexican it is.
-- And Chinese.
|I like to mix them.
|-- What the hell? Okey-doke.
|Elliot, there's gonna be Mexican|food and Chinese food.
I'm kind of in the mood|for deli.
Mexican food, Chinese food,|and food from a delicatessen.
-- I'm there.
|-- Outstanding.
-- Jeremy.
|-- Morning.
I am organizing a late-night|posse to watch Oscar|break the record.
What kind of food? You know, I'm getting|kind of tired of having to bribe people|with food.
-- I'm not doing that|anymore.
|-- Pizza.
-- You got it.
|-- Thank you.
-- What's with the umbrella?|-- It's gonna rain tonight.
-- No, it's not.
|-- It really is.
No, QXR said overnight lows in|the 50s and less than 10%|chance of precipitation.
No, this time of year, there's|a low-pressure system that|moves down from Newfoundland.
Ordinarily, it moves|out to sea once it hits|Northern New England, but there's a particularly|unusual Atlantic cold front that's gonna keep it|coastally contained.
Computerized voice:|Welcome.
-- So you're saying|it's gonna rain tonight?|-- Yeah.
Good to know.
Damn.
Dana: Why don't I go|to church? Yeah.
I don't know.
|I never have.
You used to.
Well, once in a while,|when I was a kid.
|Why are you asking me? I don't know.
I've just always thought|you'd like it.
Am I in need of something? I was just asking.
I'm totally -- I mean -- I have absolutely|nothing to say.
Then I'll just|count my blessings.
I have work to do now.
Okay.
And what with being|spiritually bereft -- I just brought it up.
I'm a hot, young,|single woman in New York.
What the hell does that|have to do with anything? I don't know,|but there's relevancy there.
Okay.
[ Knock on door ]|Excuse me.
Come on in.
I have to get back to work.
Okay.
What's on your mind,|Jeremy? Oh, quite a bit, actually.
Then is it too late for me|to take back my question? I think I'm in love|with this girl.
No, obviously, love's too|strong, but I met this girl.
Is she in any way|related to me? -- No.
|-- Then we're fine.
She's an adult-film|actress.
A porn star? I think they prefer|"adult-film actress.
" [ Chuckles ]|How'd you meet her? I met her the other night|when she started talking|to me at Anthony's.
We were talking|for a couple hours, but then I kind of|blew her off when l|found out what she did.
Then I got to the office|the next day, and l|e-mailed her website.
-- She has a website?|Yeah.
Well, I'm not that wild about|e-mail traffic from porn stars|coming to the office.
I set up a special address.
|She's the only one|that can hit it.
But it's been three days since|I sent it, and I haven't|heard back from her.
By the way, if you|ever want to do it,|use a server in Finland.
It stores the return address|in an encrypted file, sends the message to the|recipient with an address|from the remailer.
Does the porn star know|you're this much of a dork? I don't think she does.
But my question was|am I crazy for thinking|about her this much? -- Jeremy|-- Yeah? You're reacting to your|breakup with Natalie, and you're romanticizing the time you spent|with this girl.
Yes.
That's what I'm doing.
It's natural.
Yeah.
Okay, thanks.
Are the Rangers|playing tonight? They're in Detroit.
-- Danny|-- Dana.
The network would|like me to remind you that you've signed|nondisclosure forms with regard|to tape-delayed broadcasts.
It's not like that|information's hard to get.
-- They asked me|to remind you.
|-- To say nothing if I don't think rumors about|a long-jump competition|in New Zealand -- are gonna spread|like wildfire.
|-- Whatever.
Jeremy, rundown.
I'll be right there.
Computerized voice:|Welcome.
You've got mail.
Abby: I want to write|this down.
|Dan: Why? 'Cause I'm gonna watch|the tape delay later, and I want to know|all the numbers.
So Mike Powell|was 29 feet -- Bob Beamon|was 29 feet, 2 1/2.
Mike Powell broke his record|at 29 feet, 4 1/4 inches.
Wow, just an inch and 3/4.
An inch and 3/4 is 100 miles|in track and field.
The distance is always|100 miles between first place|and second place.
You know, Jackie Robinson|had a brother, and he ran|the 200 meters.
At the Olympics, he ran it|faster than anyone had ever run it before,|and he still came in second.
I didn't know Jackie Robinson|had a brother.
'Cause it was|the 1936 Olympics, and the guy who came in first|was Jesse Owens.
Yeah, I was talking|to a friend of mine|who's a sports fan, and he said there was a magazine|that did a top 100 list of the most influential|people in sports, and he thought|it was strange that, uh, Casey made the list|and you didn't.
-- Why would your friend|bring that up?|-- He just did.
Seems like the only reason|he would bring that up is if he knew I was|a patient of yours.
He doesn't.
Anyway, my point is an inch is forever|in track and field.
So 29 feet, 4 1/4 inches|is the mark to beat? Yeah.
Food of many lands -- Mexico, China, ltaly,|your own nation of lsrael.
It's track and field.
Yeah,|but it's the camaraderie|I'm talking about.
You know, I've never been|to lsrael.
[ Snaps fingers ]|That is why I am bringing|lsrael to you, my friend, with fine smoked meats|and cheeses.
Yeah, meat and dairy|is just what you want on the same plate|for that touch of Jerusalem.
Hey, come on.
|I don't think so.
-- Danny.
|-- Casey.
Danny! You know,|I think that there's a residual "top 100 list"|thing going on.
There isn't.
You've been like this|for, like, a week now.
-- Casey, there isn't.
|-- Okay.
I'm just going to go grab some|menus if you change your mind.
Computerized voice:|Welcome.
[ Thunder crashes ] Jeremy, what is going on|with you and e-mail? Someone e-mailed me|that they want to meet me|at a certain place tonight, and I e-mailed them|that I'm not gonna go, and I can see that they|haven't opened the e-mail yet.
So she's just gonna be|sitting there.
-- She? Who's she?|-- Yeah.
You don't know her.
-- What's her name?|-- Her name's Jenny.
-- Jenny who?|-- I don't know her last name.
She gave you her e-mail address,|but not her last name? -- Are we done|with 20 questions?|-- I'm just askin'.
-- She works|under a different name.
|-- What, is she a porn star? They prefer|"adult-film actress.
" Oh, man.
[ Thunder rumbling ] Oh.
I don't know why|I reacted that way.
You were jealous.
-- Of Jeremy?|-- Yeah.
It rained really hard|last night.
Where are you going? I gotta go tell somebody|I'm not gonna meet them.
-- You comin' back?|-- Yep.
-- Hey, you were right|about the rain.
|-- Yep.
Ah, where are you going? -- I'm running to the ATM.
|-- Why? I need cash.
-- For what?|-- It's for general use.
-- It's for betting|with Natalie.
|-- Yeah.
-- You're gonna bet|on track and field.
|-- Yes.
You know, the two of you|need to get yourselves in|a meeting, you know that? She gave me 8 to 5|on Heinrich in the pole vault.
-- Seriously?|-- Back in a minute.
Oh, hey! Oh.
Hey, ho! Since you're going out|in the rainstorm anyway, [ Thunder crashes ]|feel like picking up the food? From where? -- The following|six places --|-- Casey -- Come on!|-- I'm not going to six places.
-- They're all across|the street from each other.
|-- Have it delivered.
No, it'll take forever,|and I'm starving.
Remember the job I did for you|when you had the flu? -- Write them down for me.
|-- Ah! [ Thunder rumbling ] -- Hi.
|-- Hi.
-- Oh, I'm, uh, wet.
|-- Yes.
-- You're not.
|-- I took an umbrella.
-- Who knew|it was gonna rain?|-- You should've asked me.
Um, I was really glad|to get your e-mail.
And I was glad you wrote me|back, but then I sent you -- Would you hang on?|Hey, Jack -- could I get a rum and Coke|and a cup of hot tea?|-- Yeah.
You sent me another what? I sent you another e-mail.
Jack, why don't you|hold off on that? Look, I don't mind sitting here|and having a drink with you.
|I mean, that's fine.
But just so you know,|there's not gonna be any|kind of relationship.
You don't mind sitting here|having a drink with me? -- God, I'm walking on air.
|-- Jenny -- Why did you make me|come down here tonight?|-- I sent you -- Come to think of it, why did|you come down here tonight if, as you say,|you sent me an e-mail? -- I did send you an e-mail.
|-- Not that I got.
Jenny, check your e-mail.
|There will be one from me, okay? I don't want to argue|about that.
What you said a second ago, about wanting|to make it clear right off that there's not gonna be|a relationship, and the fact that we're both|here right now anyway -- what I'm saying,|it sounds a lot to me like, "What I'd really like to do is|get drunk with a porn star,|go back to her place, and not have to worry|about it in the morning.
" -- That is in no way even|remotely what I was saying.
|-- I'm sorry I'm someone you can't explain|to your parents, okay, but rest assured it takes|a lot more work to get me|into bed than that.
Yeah, unless you're playing|the role of Cass,|the new pool boy.
You think I haven't|heard that one before? [ Thunder rumbling ] -- You should take|my umbrella!|-- I don't want|your umbrella! -- You're not gonna|get a cab in the rain.
|-- I'm fine! -- Listen, Jenny|-- I don't believe it.
What? You can't stand in the rain|without an umbrella? Yes, Jenny, I learned|when I was young that if I do that,|I'll get wet.
And I learned when I was young|if I get wet, I'll dry off.
I learned not to be troubled|by water falling from the sky.
I learned that, when|I was young, the things|that frightened me might not be so frightening|after all -- that possibly, the only reason|I was frightened was because I was young.
It was nice|knowing you, Jenny.
You're wearing a raincoat! What? It was raining when you|left your apartment.
You don't have an umbrella|'cause you don't have|an umbrella.
Only you won't|admit it 'cause you are|Miss "l meant to do that.
"I'm free and open|and unafraid of rain.
"I'm wet, 'cause that's|how I meant it to be.
"l have a degree in dance|from Julliard.
"l make X-rated movies now.
But that's|how I meant it to be.
" You think I'm timid? God forbid you should admit|you're not a tough guy.
I'm going inside|until the rain stops.
I was offering you|the umbrella.
No, thank you.
[ Thunder rumbling,|siren wailing ] How the hell long can it take|a person to go to an ATM and pick up food|from six restaurants? Are the restaurants close|to each other? Not as close as I led her|to believe, but still.
[ Thunder crashing ] Dan: Could you guys|quiet down?! Did you guys just hear Dan? Could you guys quiet down? -- I thought you went home.
|-- Evidently I didn't.
-- When's Oscar up?|Elliot: Any minute.
OhmyGod.
-- Dana?|Dana: Hi.
-- What happened?|-- It's raining.
Yes.
No, Casey, it's raining|really, really hard.
-- Where have you been?|-- I-I thought it was gonna|let up after a few minutes, and I was just gonna|duck out of it.
The first door I tried|was open.
You know what it was? A church? How did you know|I was gonna say that? I don't know.
I sat in a church and I feel good.
I'm going back.
|There's something there for me.
You didn't get the food.
No, Casey.
[ All groan ]|I wanted to tell you|about my church experience.
Well,|that's an even tradeoff.
They gave me this Hefty Bag.
-- It's starting.
|-- Jeremy Dave: Chris, sound.
|-- Guess where I've been.
|-- Church.
-- [ Gasps ]|You see? He knew.
|-- I was standing right here.
Turn it up! Announcer: Conditions are|ideal for Oscar Parrish.
Are we about|to see a new world record? Let's find out|as Parrish sets.
Announcer #2: Here we go.
The jump He's got it.
He's got it! I think he's got it, Gary! Oscar Parrish sets|the world record! -- You told me who won.
|-- Yeah.
-- I lulled you into it.
|-- Hey, we were all|lulled into it.
What do you mean? [ Cheering on TV ] -- Natalie|-- Yeah? -- Have you|seen this guy before?|-- No.
-- Who is he?|-- He's Austrian.
Announcer #2: Walter Weingradt|of Austria on the runway -- Look at those legs.
|-- 19 years old, and jumping in only his third|world competition.
Weingradt sets The jump Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Announcer #1: Gary|-- They're measuring They're measuring at|29 feet, 8 1/4?! A full three inches better|than Oscar Parrish, whose gold medal hopes,|whose world-record hopes, have just come|to an abrupt finish.
From out of nowhere,|19-year-old Walter Weingradt has set a record|that will not be challenged for some time.
[ Thunder rumbling ] Jack: Have a good night.
See? This is better.
It's a nice umbrella, too.
|I got it at Macy's.
You really came back here|to talk to me about accessories? A guy, long jumper|named Oscar Parrish, just set a new world record, which is what he'd been working|toward his whole life.
Then that record got broken|a few minutes later by a guy no one had heard of.
Do you know this guy? -- Oscar Parrish?|-- Yeah.
No, I don't know him,|but if you cover sports Yeah.
Now two things -- the first is|I signed a nondisclosure form that says I'm not allowed to|tell you what I just told you.
So please don't|tell anyone else.
My friends and l don't sit around talking|about long-jump competitions.
Who the hell knows what|you people talk about|when you're naked? Well, we certainly|don't talk about it|when we're naked, Jeremy.
What was the second thing? [ Siren wailing ] I like you,|and I hurt your feelings.
I wanted to come back here and insist|that you take my umbrella.
I think you wanted|to come back here just to be with me But give me the damn umbrella.
I'm going home now.
I'm wet now! What? I'm getting wet,|as you can see.
I don't mind, for I am fine|here in the rain.
Pretty big step for you,|is it? Not monumental, but -- So|-- Yes? Don't you want to know how|I knew it was gonna rain? Sure.
This time of year,|there's a low-pressure system that moves down|from Newfoundland.
Ordinarily,|it moves out to sea once it hits|Northern New England, but there's a particularly|unusual Atlantic cold front that I knew would|keep it coastally contained, Ieaving the system no choice|but to move down here.
Wow.
Yeah.
You're a dork.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
I'm gonna go home now, too.
You got an umbrella? -- Don't need one|-- For you are fine.
For I am.
I think that's just an excuse for being too dumb|to have an umbrella.
I'll walk you.
You're bothered|because he came in second? He held the record|for five minutes.
That's five minutes longer|than most people do.
You know what?|I've heard that kind of thing,|and I'm gonna say this, okay? If you're good enough|to come in second place, then you're good enough|to be disappointed in it.
And you never heard|of Bob Beamon.
Not everybody needs the love|of strangers.
He was an athlete, Abby.
Athletes need to win.
|It's not about, you know -- You feel disconnected from|people around you now? Yeah.
Yeah, people are|challenging themselves,|trying new things.
Dana went to church,|found out she liked it.
|Jeremy's on an adventure.
You wonder why|that didn't happen to you.
Meantime, your partner got|on the list, and you didn't, just like Oscar Parrish.
-- It was his whole life.
|-- Probably wasn't.
And his whole life|isn't over yet.
Now, I think most|people would say you've|got a pretty good life.
But yours isn't over yet,|either, by the way, though our time is up.
-- Hmm?|-- Our time's up.
No, it's cool.
|Really, I can't stay.
You already did.
|That was the hour.
-- Really?|-- Yes.
One of these days, I'd like to go back|to you sitting down.
Yeah.
[ Rock music plays ]