Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e09 Episode Script
Fissure Quest
1
♪
MARINER: Hey, hey, hey!
Come on.
You're sparking the raktajino.
Sorry.
Maybe take a break?
Since we're, you know, on a break.
I've been trying to connect my oculus
to the Cerritos systems all morning.
They used to work just
fine, but something's off
[SHOUTS]
- Boimler!
- I'm okay!
I'm okay. [CHUCKLES]
Ah, since when can
that thing shoot plasma?
It's not supposed to.
[GROANS] Particle headache.
Hey, careful, Ruthy,
this is our last Boimler.
We don't got any more after this.
Hmm, you have experienced duplication?
Oh, yeah, he got transporter cloned.
The other one called himself William
to kiss Riker's butt,
but then he got killed
by some random gas.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, but,
you know, people are
always coming back to life.
Shaxs exploded and he's doing great.
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
It's okay.
Sometimes the randomness of death
matches the unexpected joys of life.
I still can't believe he
stayed on the Titan.
- That was one motivated Boimler.
- Yeah.
I mean, if he were still around,
I'd bet he'd be in
some huge adventure.
I wish I could've seen it.
♪
90 seconds to the rift.
Weapons armed and ready.
Prepare to cross the
quantum threshold.
- Again.
- Let's do this!
♪
WILLIAM: Captain's log, William
Boimler of the Anaximander.
Stardate, uh, confidential.
I've been ordered to find and stop
whomever's been trying
to destroy the multiverse.
But I find my enthusiasm
waning.
While I'm not authorized
to name the organization
that faked my death and
sent me diving into rifts,
I can talk about my crew of
interdimensional castaways.
T'Pol, my Vulcan first officer,
is an expert on human emotions
after being married to
Trip Tucker for decades.
My tactical officer is Curzon Dax
from a reality where
he hasn't yet passed
- his symbiont to Jadzia.
- [DAX SHOUTING]
Prone to injury, he's
lucky we have Elim Garak,
a brilliant Cardassian surgeon.
And his husband, an
emergency medical hologram
based on Dr. Julian Bashir.
Everyone on this crew are
from totally different realities,
but we make a great team.
Okay, give me good news, Dax.
Negative.
No sign of the mole rat.
There is a Starfleet escape pod.
I am reading a single lifeform.
Who will it be, Neelix
with a crew cut?
Really big Spock?
Ooh, thanks for the save.
I thought I was a goner.
WILLIAM: What a surprise.
Another Harry Kim.
What do you mean another?
Most of the crew are Harry Kims.
- Ah, who's this handsome guy?
- Hey, Harry!
The Kim crew is thriving.
- High five, baby!
- [WHOOPING]
I'm so sick of the [BLEEP] multiverse.
HARRY KIMS [CHANTING]:
Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
♪
♪
♪
♪
Have at thee!
Repairs to the rift are
underway, Captain.
[GRUNTING]
Must you do that on the bridge?
You'll thank me when someone
needs to be chopped. [GRUNTS]
I thought the dimensional
rifts were natural occurrences.
Who exactly are you chasing?
We don't know.
But someone has it
out for the multiverse.
They have a ship that bridges
dimensions by tearing them open.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! There's
more than two dimensions?
Starfleet believes that there are
an infinite amount
of quantum realities.
Each is represented by a sphere.
DAX: It's like a bubble bath.
But the bubbles are universes.
The ship we're chasing is
ripping open the bubbles.
Creating rifts which
weaken the integrity
of all quantum realities.
Why would someone
want to destroy reality?
Because they're probably
a hacky evil version
of someone we all know.
A reverse Picard or
Borgified Kirk or [BLEEP] it,
I don't know, human Worf.
That's all the multiverse is!
Just lazy derivative remixes!
[WILLIAM GROWLS]
Did I say something wrong?
The captain's patience
has been waning.
Yeah, all the dimension
hopping and no bad guy
has to feel like treading water.
That is an astute simile, Mr. Kim.
Thanks.
GARAK: In some
dimensions, I'm a tailor
Are they from the same reality?
No, but they love to brag about how
statistically unlikely
their marriage is.
Lovers never fall out
of the rifts for Curzon!
It must be cool seeing all
kinds of wacky new dimensions.
I wonder why the
captain hates it so much.
He's used to exploring the galaxy.
Now he just goes from rift to rift.
KIM 1: Harry!
Always great to have
another Kim aboard.
Did your Voyager get back to Earth
or did you, like, settle
in the Delta Quadrant?
We got back.
- Dude! -Told ya.
- Yeah, yeah.
[GASPS] Wait, everyone shut up!
This Kim's got two pips!
- Whoa.
- No way!
You're a full lieutenant?
Yeah. Wait.
You're all still ensigns?
That's [BLEEP] up.
I was reading about
the original Dr. Bashir.
Apparently he was an
avid racquetball player.
He and Chief O'Brien
were quite competitive.
Did they ever invite you to join?
I took an oath to do no harm.
Which includes humiliating
my patients at racquetball.
- [GRUNTS]
- [BASHIR GASPS]
Is it your shoulder again?
Oh, there was a Bolian masseur
on the promenade
who had magical hands.
I'll take you when this is over.
Photonic beings don't
really benefit from massage.
Wait, what makes you think
we'll be living in your reality?!
Darling, I haven't
thought about it at all.
Oh, yes, you have. I know
how you operate, Elim Garak.
Our future home reality
is still up in the air.
My shoulder still has a knot.
Well, then it's a pity your
Bolian isn't here to help.
♪
The rift is almost repaired.
Yeah, keep it up. I'm sure our friend
will be opening a new one soon enough.
[ALERT SOUNDING]
Something just
rocketed through the rift.
T'POL: A Starfleet shuttle craft.
Its engines are critical.
They must've been traveling at warp.
Emergency transport now!
[GASPS] Mariner!
Whoa!
What in the? What?
Where am?
How did y? [GASPS]
Boims?
I think that's T'Pol.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, so
you're a clone of a
Boimler from another reality,
so you've got, like, a
backup Boimler at home?
He's not a backup.
We were transporter duplicated.
No way, that happened to my Troi.
Yeah, her copy was
stranded on a planet for years.
[LAUGHS] That sounds familiar.
That happened to my Riker, too.
Do you have a Tendi and a Rutherford?
Yeah, but I haven't seen them in ages.
What's your Boimler like?
Oh, he's the best. Still an
ensign, gets in his own way.
He wears a leather
jacket at all times,
which is weird, but we're used to it.
Like, like, he sleeps in it.
- What's your Mariner like?
- Uh, you know,
she's a fearless adventurer like you.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, right, I
am not really a fan of danger
or away missions or
anything that involves phasers.
I'd rather be tinkering
with plasma coils.
What's with the look?
Huh?
N-Nothing.
It's just really nice having you here.
Yeah, I'm pretty great.
What's it like having
your own quarters?
Does Janeway ever let
you sit in the big chair?
Of course! How have none
of you ever been promoted?
You know, I guess between
all the Borg infiltrations
and aliens trying to steal our organs,
it didn't seem like
that big of a deal.
We're just happy to be in Starfleet.
I ran into the same thing.
Everybody gets promoted before ops.
It's like nobody knows what we do.
Ooh, what did you guys
do with your Tuvoks?
Oh, great, my favorite Vulcan.
I was married to a human for 63 years.
I know sarcasm when I hear it.
I don't need a know-it-all
picking me apart while
I'm trying to eat. [SLURPS]
Are you sure you should be
consuming that much sodium?
What do you even
know about the Trill diet?
I know that you carry
the Dax symbiont,
which must be
protected for its next host,
of which there is none
on the Anaximander.
Oh, thank you so much
for explaining that to me,
you smug Vulcan petaQ.
Your anger masks a
fear that I am correct.
Perhaps you should
moderate your eating habits.
Look, I live life to its fullest
so the next Dax can
actually learn something.
Sodium is not a full life.
Maybe it is for me, damn it!
Wait, wait, wait, if you hate danger,
then why did I have to rescue
you from your own shuttle?
[SLURPS] I didn't know the
rifts emitted radial tachyons.
Yeah. No warping or they
make your engines explode.
Ugh, yeah, that was bad.
But the good news is, now
I know how to track the guy
who's screwing up the multiverse.
- What?
- [YELPS] Don't do that.
MARINER: Back on
my Cerritos, I was trying
to figure out why our
entanglement processor
kept needing a reset.
Turns out, something was
[BLEEP] up the superposition.
- The transdimensional rifts.
- Yup.
Every time one gets opened,
a second one appears
in some random
other part of the galaxy.
Conservation of energy.
Each universe has a finite amount.
If you create a rift
T'POL: Another must open to accommodate
the energy being pushed out.
MARINER: So they're
opening a rift, closing it up,
and we're going to the wrong
one way the hell far away.
That's why we've never caught up.
We've been going to the wrong rifts.
Every rift they open creates a
huge influx of radial tachyons,
but, if we recreated
those levels first
WILLIAM: It would force
their next rift to open right here.
Where we'll be waiting.
Mariner, you're a great engineer.
Mm, why do you sound so surprised?
Sorry.
Radial tachyon
levels are still rising.
Trap is set. Let's see if this works.
Come on, you little sneak.
Show yourself.
Are the shields raised?
Because this is feeling like a
"calm before the storm" type sitch.
Holy crap, it worked.
[ALERT SOUNDING]
T'POL: Captain, Mariner's plan
appears to have been successful.
WILLIAM: They're running.
Dax, target their engines.
DAX: Direct hit. [GASPS]
They don't have shields?
They are attempting to
escape by creating a new rift.
Set a pursuit course. Full impulse.
The event horizon is in flux.
Our structural integrity
will be damaged.
We don't have a choice.
I hate this part.
I love it.
[LAUGHS]
[GROANS, SHOUTS]
- Medic, we got a battle-damaged Kim here.
- [GROANING]
These Harry Kims are stronger
than they look. He'll be fine.
In my reality, Risa has an entire moon
devoted to growing heirloom grapes.
The wine is exquisite.
My Risa has two vineyard moons.
Uh, close that artery, will you?
Each moon has multiple varietals.
I I don't care.
You will once you taste their reds.
You can't just unilaterally decide
that we're moving to
your reality. It's not fair.
I let you choose what I
had for dinner last night.
Well, that doesn't equal a
lifetime in a strange universe.
My universe isn't strange,
and you aren't even
made of carbon, my love.
- Why do you care?
- Oh, pulling the hologram card.
Forgive me.
I take it back.
My emotions got the better of me.
Hopefully, your emotions enjoy
sleeping on the ground tonight.
This hologram will be in bed, alone.
- Ugh, humans.
- Huh?
Oh, not you.
DAX: We're in weapons range.
Permission to blast these biHnuchs.
I don't think that's such
a good idea in the rift.
- This is our only chance.
- Dax, wait!
[CRACKLING]
Please tell me they didn't get away.
Thanks to Curzon's insubordination,
they were forced to make
an emergency landing.
DAX: Good.
WILLIAM: Take us down.
We have repairs of our own to make.
Don't glare at me.
We got them.
We [BLEEP] better.
Ugh. Man, my Boimler's
way chiller than this one.
I do not have a Boimler
in my quantum reality
in order to make a comparison.
Oh, he's a big Starfleet
nerd like Archer.
You had one of those, right?
Yes.
And "big Starfleet nerd"
is an accurate description.
Ugh, stupid bog planets are the worst.
They're just wet and cold and sad.
Ugh. How far do we have to wade?
Their landing site is roughly
400 meters to the north.
Keep your heads up.
We don't know anything
about this reality.
[GASPS]
- [CHIRPS]
- MARINER: Oh, no way.
I know these guys. They're super nice.
We must be on Khwopa.
Hey, what's up, my man?
- [ROARS]
- [MARINER GASPS, SCREAMS]
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
I'm starting to see why
you hate the multiverse.
Hey, you guys aren't mad
about the stuff I said
about bogs, right?
'Cause I love bogs.
Uh, live long and
[BOTH GASP]
- [SCREAMS, SIGHS]
- [HISSES]
You Kims okay?
Yeah, just a little soggy.
Feral Khwopians don't make any sense.
They're too cute to be mean.
At least they aren't
trying to drink our bones.
[MARINER WHIMPERS]
- [HYPERVENTILATING]
- WILLIAM: You okay?
I've never been in a prison before.
It's kind of freaking me out.
[SCREAMS]
WILLIAM: [GASPS] A human?
What're you doing here?
We crashed
because of your unprovoked attack.
[BOTH GROWLING]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
[GASPS] Those ghoulish creatures
trekked mud all over our sickbay.
Stay here.
Guard the ship.
I'll save the crew.
But, Garak, you're just a surgeon.
I am a surgeon, but not "just."
[MOANS]
[GASPS]
You guys seeing this?
They didn't even put us in
the cell with the commanders.
Eh, who cares?
A cell's a cell.
- Don't act like this is our fault.
- How is it not?
'Cause you've been trying
to destroy the multiverse.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Why are you so familiar?
- Oh, so then all the tears
you're ripping through
the fabric of reality
are just, what, for fun?
We always make sure to
close them after we go through.
[GASP] Holy [BLEEP],
you're Lily Sloane.
Yeah. H-Have we met?
MARINER: Boims. Boims.
Boims, this is
"built the first warp drive
"with Zefram Cochrane" Lily.
Wait, what?
I don't know what a warp drive is,
but Zef did help me build
our quantum reality drive.
Well, in this reality,
you're a depraved villain.
Okay, she clearly isn't.
They do not look
particularly nefarious, Captain.
We are on a mission of peace,
exploring quantum realities
to further our scientific knowledge.
Well, then why didn't
you say something?
We have directives which
dictate ethical boundaries
to contacting societies
who can't cross
realities on their own.
Well, whenever you
cross to a new reality,
you leave a second rift open.
- What?
- I told you we had not accounted
for the dissipation
of additional energy.
This whole time, you
weren't the bad guys.
You were just a different
type of Federation.
We've been stranded
from our home dimensions
chasing after you.
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
- I believe she is telling the truth.
- [SCREAMS]
[GROWLS]
They don't like it when we talk.
Then they can let us go.
You hear me?
Your planet su
[GRUNTS]
- [GASPS]
- [GROWLING]
[GASPS]
- WILLIAM: Garak.
- I've never been one for face-to-face combat.
[GRUNTS] This is our doctor.
Then why is he trained in combat?
- [GROWLS]
- [GRUNTS]
Old habits die hard.
If you can help us repair our ship,
I think we can get you home.
Kim crew,
roll out.
Let's go.
Hmm.
Hurry.
It won't be long
before some Khwopian
realizes we got out.
If your team can fix
the power systems,
the Beagle can get to orbit.
WILLIAM: Whoa.
That's an older design, but
the system should be similar
to what we're used to.
We should be able to manage.
DAX: Ow.
Stupid patchwork [BLEEP].
If you are fatigued, I am
able to handle this repair.
Oh, you'd love to rub that in
my face, wouldn't you, Vulcan?
I would not.
Ugh.
- So these glowsticks are what you use to cross realities?
- Yeah.
Unobserved complex gluon cores.
Well, you might want to observe
a couple 'cause they're [BLEEP].
I think we're gonna have to
hit the conduits from outside.
There's an access panel
below the port stabilizers.
- On it, boss.
- [WILLIAM SIGHS]
I can't believe you actually want
to explore quantum realities.
You don't?
I'd be happy to never hear the word
"multiverse" ever again.
What's wrong with exploring?
Oh, real exploring is great.
We go out into the galaxy
and visit strange new worlds.
What you do, isn't exploring.
I must look like I'm
stuck in one spot, huh?
The multiverse is just a
rehash of stuff I already know.
You sound a lot like Zef.
It took him a minute to get it, too.
We don't need to meet new species.
Okay, then why
bother exploring at all?
To better understand ourselves.
It's fun to learn about aliens,
but learning about humanity,
that's something else.
I've met humans who've
built rings around the sun.
I've met others whose ships
are the size of continents.
I'm learning about what humans can be.
Mapping our potential.
So far, it's limitless.
I never thought about it like that.
Look at Mariner.
Your friendship transcends realities.
Trust like that is powerful stuff.
- [SHIP RUMBLING]
- [ALL CLAMORING]
[MARINER SHOUTING]
[GRUNTS] Is that supposed to happen?
SLOANE: Someone's stealing my ship!
We need to get back to the Nax!
[GROWLING]
[GRUNTS]
We don't have time for this!
I do.
[SHOUTS, LAUGHING]
[SHOUTS]
Yah! [LAUGHS]
[GRUNTING]
Keep going.
This is how I relax.
Calm down.
Everybody's going to
get their asses kicked.
Curzon, be careful!
[EXHALES] My freaking calves.
Stupid bog planet.
So much wading.
Open hailing
frequencies, all channels.
This is Captain William Boimler.
Whoever's piloting that ship,
you need to return to the surface now.
Why? So you can take
all these beautiful Kims
back to their home
universes where they'll be
overlooked and disrespected?
Kim, what the hell are you doing?
He tricked us, Captain.
We don't want to be here.
I'm taking you back to my universe
where Harry Kims can rank up.
Hey, we didn't finish the repairs.
The Beagle can't
maintain a fifth dimension
without subspace gluons!
Spewing engineering
nonsense won't work on me.
I've got two pips!
Curzon, get us into orbit.
Aye, Captain.
You are limping.
I should've stretched
before that workout.
We have to stop him from
crossing into another QR!
Without repairs, he's flying a bomb
that could spread to all universes!
The death toll would
be beyond measure.
Damn you, two-pip Kim!
Why hasn't he opened a rift?
The Beagle won't allow it
until he's out of the gravity well.
We will not make it
in time at this speed.
Permission to try
and juice the engines?
Granted.
[GRUNTS] Why won't you work?
Hey, this un-Kim-like behavior, pal.
- Shut up, Harry!
- You shut up, Harry!
COMPUTER: Gravity well cleared.
Ha-ha! I got it.
Impulse increased by 15%.
[ALL SHOUTING]
The Beagle's falling apart.
Brace yourselves
for a better life, Kims.
Damn it!
He's making a rift.
Despite our increase in speed,
we will not be close
enough to intervene.
Well, then we need to
do a micro warp jump.
The tachyon levels are too high.
Our engines would overload.
How are we supposed to
stop them and not blow up?
The Beagle's creating waves
of gravitational turbulence.
And that's a good thing?
It means mass matters.
If I can increase the
gravity around the warp port,
it'll be a tachyon shield,
and we can go as fast as you want.
But, won't that crush you?
Let's pretend I'm the
adventurous Mariner
from your reality
who's okay risking it.
- Mariner
- [ALERT SOUNDING]
[GRUNTS]
[BLEEP]
[SHOUTS]
[MOANING]
Thought you could
use a holographic hand.
Engineering is at ten
times gravity, Captain.
Curzon, warp us now!
- [DAX GRUNTING]
- Dax?
Stupid salamander zapped me.
Get him to sickbay!
- Mariner, I hope you're right.
- [BEEPS]
♪
Ah, it worked, the warp
core's not overloading.
Great.
Shut off
the gravity.
Oh, right, sorry.
[WHIRRING SLOWS]
[EXHALES, PANTING]
There's nothing more I can do.
- If we had had more time.
- Thank you, Doctor.
Garak, you do know I'll
follow you to any reality.
I'd do the same for
you. I really don't care
where we end up as
long as we're together.
What?
Then why have we been arguing?
Because it's fun.
No, it's not!
[LAUGHS]
Nobody stops Harry Kim.
[GRUNTS]
What are you doing?
We have to transport out of here.
Why?
I'm offering you a better life.
If that's what it takes,
- we don't want it.
- What are you Hey!
- No!
- Grab him!
[COUGHS]
Well, at least you
get a front row seat
to my demise.
I take no pleasure in
seeing my friend perish.
Since when are we friends?
- Since the day we met.
- [COUGHING]
I know.
Dax had a good run.
Too bad that it has to end with me.
I will remove your symbiont,
and return it to your reality.
[GASPS] Won't work without a host.
Then I must attempt to
transfer your shared memories
from Dax itself.
[KIMS GRUNTING, CLAMORING]
Fine!
You Kims are too weak to know
a good thing when you have it.
You want to know why
you're all still ensigns?
This, this is why.
You don't deserve to come with me.
- KIMS: Whoa.
- Welcome back, Kims.
Good to be back, sir.
Can you get a tractor beam on him?
Negative, he's too far.
- Then target engines.
- No!
If you open fire now,
it'll just make it worse!
Worse than destroying all realities?!
Harry, you have to stop.
That ship won't make it.
Nice try.
I'm Harry [BLEEP] Kim.
And you don't get to order me around.
[LAUGHING]
[CACKLES]
- [SHOUTING]
- [GRUNTING]
That was
more katra than I had anticipated.
[COUGHING]
You back Dax up
in that big Vulcan brain.
I will protect and pass them on.
Maybe, you're not so bad.
For a Vulcan.
[MONITOR FLATLINES]
[ALL GASP]
Lily, what's happening?
The explosion disrupted
the coherence of the rift.
Soliton waves will spread
across all quantum realities.
No, no, there has to
be something we can do.
This ship has a force beam generator?
A deflector?
Yeah.
With a directed soliton burst,
I could use it to guide the
wave into a single reality.
But then won't you be dooming
an entire universe to be destroyed?
It's either one, or all.
We need a reality that
can respond to the threat.
I know where to send it.
Scan me.
Use my reality.
What?
Boims, no.
- Are you sure?
- WILLIAM: No.
But, I'm there and so are you.
And Tendi and Rutherford.
I know they can figure out a solution.
Why would you do this to your friends?
Because he trusts them.
And that trust transcends
quantum realities.
Activate the soliton beam.
[COMPUTER TRILLING]
Done.
I hope you're right.
I piggybacked a
message to my duplicate.
- He'll know what to do.
- Will he?
Yeah, as long as he doesn't freak out.
Holy [BLEEP]!
We're all gonna die!
- [BOIMLER SCREAMING]
- [OBJECTS CRASHING]
♪
♪
MARINER: Hey, hey, hey!
Come on.
You're sparking the raktajino.
Sorry.
Maybe take a break?
Since we're, you know, on a break.
I've been trying to connect my oculus
to the Cerritos systems all morning.
They used to work just
fine, but something's off
[SHOUTS]
- Boimler!
- I'm okay!
I'm okay. [CHUCKLES]
Ah, since when can
that thing shoot plasma?
It's not supposed to.
[GROANS] Particle headache.
Hey, careful, Ruthy,
this is our last Boimler.
We don't got any more after this.
Hmm, you have experienced duplication?
Oh, yeah, he got transporter cloned.
The other one called himself William
to kiss Riker's butt,
but then he got killed
by some random gas.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, but,
you know, people are
always coming back to life.
Shaxs exploded and he's doing great.
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
It's okay.
Sometimes the randomness of death
matches the unexpected joys of life.
I still can't believe he
stayed on the Titan.
- That was one motivated Boimler.
- Yeah.
I mean, if he were still around,
I'd bet he'd be in
some huge adventure.
I wish I could've seen it.
♪
90 seconds to the rift.
Weapons armed and ready.
Prepare to cross the
quantum threshold.
- Again.
- Let's do this!
♪
WILLIAM: Captain's log, William
Boimler of the Anaximander.
Stardate, uh, confidential.
I've been ordered to find and stop
whomever's been trying
to destroy the multiverse.
But I find my enthusiasm
waning.
While I'm not authorized
to name the organization
that faked my death and
sent me diving into rifts,
I can talk about my crew of
interdimensional castaways.
T'Pol, my Vulcan first officer,
is an expert on human emotions
after being married to
Trip Tucker for decades.
My tactical officer is Curzon Dax
from a reality where
he hasn't yet passed
- his symbiont to Jadzia.
- [DAX SHOUTING]
Prone to injury, he's
lucky we have Elim Garak,
a brilliant Cardassian surgeon.
And his husband, an
emergency medical hologram
based on Dr. Julian Bashir.
Everyone on this crew are
from totally different realities,
but we make a great team.
Okay, give me good news, Dax.
Negative.
No sign of the mole rat.
There is a Starfleet escape pod.
I am reading a single lifeform.
Who will it be, Neelix
with a crew cut?
Really big Spock?
Ooh, thanks for the save.
I thought I was a goner.
WILLIAM: What a surprise.
Another Harry Kim.
What do you mean another?
Most of the crew are Harry Kims.
- Ah, who's this handsome guy?
- Hey, Harry!
The Kim crew is thriving.
- High five, baby!
- [WHOOPING]
I'm so sick of the [BLEEP] multiverse.
HARRY KIMS [CHANTING]:
Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
♪
♪
♪
♪
Have at thee!
Repairs to the rift are
underway, Captain.
[GRUNTING]
Must you do that on the bridge?
You'll thank me when someone
needs to be chopped. [GRUNTS]
I thought the dimensional
rifts were natural occurrences.
Who exactly are you chasing?
We don't know.
But someone has it
out for the multiverse.
They have a ship that bridges
dimensions by tearing them open.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! There's
more than two dimensions?
Starfleet believes that there are
an infinite amount
of quantum realities.
Each is represented by a sphere.
DAX: It's like a bubble bath.
But the bubbles are universes.
The ship we're chasing is
ripping open the bubbles.
Creating rifts which
weaken the integrity
of all quantum realities.
Why would someone
want to destroy reality?
Because they're probably
a hacky evil version
of someone we all know.
A reverse Picard or
Borgified Kirk or [BLEEP] it,
I don't know, human Worf.
That's all the multiverse is!
Just lazy derivative remixes!
[WILLIAM GROWLS]
Did I say something wrong?
The captain's patience
has been waning.
Yeah, all the dimension
hopping and no bad guy
has to feel like treading water.
That is an astute simile, Mr. Kim.
Thanks.
GARAK: In some
dimensions, I'm a tailor
Are they from the same reality?
No, but they love to brag about how
statistically unlikely
their marriage is.
Lovers never fall out
of the rifts for Curzon!
It must be cool seeing all
kinds of wacky new dimensions.
I wonder why the
captain hates it so much.
He's used to exploring the galaxy.
Now he just goes from rift to rift.
KIM 1: Harry!
Always great to have
another Kim aboard.
Did your Voyager get back to Earth
or did you, like, settle
in the Delta Quadrant?
We got back.
- Dude! -Told ya.
- Yeah, yeah.
[GASPS] Wait, everyone shut up!
This Kim's got two pips!
- Whoa.
- No way!
You're a full lieutenant?
Yeah. Wait.
You're all still ensigns?
That's [BLEEP] up.
I was reading about
the original Dr. Bashir.
Apparently he was an
avid racquetball player.
He and Chief O'Brien
were quite competitive.
Did they ever invite you to join?
I took an oath to do no harm.
Which includes humiliating
my patients at racquetball.
- [GRUNTS]
- [BASHIR GASPS]
Is it your shoulder again?
Oh, there was a Bolian masseur
on the promenade
who had magical hands.
I'll take you when this is over.
Photonic beings don't
really benefit from massage.
Wait, what makes you think
we'll be living in your reality?!
Darling, I haven't
thought about it at all.
Oh, yes, you have. I know
how you operate, Elim Garak.
Our future home reality
is still up in the air.
My shoulder still has a knot.
Well, then it's a pity your
Bolian isn't here to help.
♪
The rift is almost repaired.
Yeah, keep it up. I'm sure our friend
will be opening a new one soon enough.
[ALERT SOUNDING]
Something just
rocketed through the rift.
T'POL: A Starfleet shuttle craft.
Its engines are critical.
They must've been traveling at warp.
Emergency transport now!
[GASPS] Mariner!
Whoa!
What in the? What?
Where am?
How did y? [GASPS]
Boims?
I think that's T'Pol.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, so
you're a clone of a
Boimler from another reality,
so you've got, like, a
backup Boimler at home?
He's not a backup.
We were transporter duplicated.
No way, that happened to my Troi.
Yeah, her copy was
stranded on a planet for years.
[LAUGHS] That sounds familiar.
That happened to my Riker, too.
Do you have a Tendi and a Rutherford?
Yeah, but I haven't seen them in ages.
What's your Boimler like?
Oh, he's the best. Still an
ensign, gets in his own way.
He wears a leather
jacket at all times,
which is weird, but we're used to it.
Like, like, he sleeps in it.
- What's your Mariner like?
- Uh, you know,
she's a fearless adventurer like you.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, right, I
am not really a fan of danger
or away missions or
anything that involves phasers.
I'd rather be tinkering
with plasma coils.
What's with the look?
Huh?
N-Nothing.
It's just really nice having you here.
Yeah, I'm pretty great.
What's it like having
your own quarters?
Does Janeway ever let
you sit in the big chair?
Of course! How have none
of you ever been promoted?
You know, I guess between
all the Borg infiltrations
and aliens trying to steal our organs,
it didn't seem like
that big of a deal.
We're just happy to be in Starfleet.
I ran into the same thing.
Everybody gets promoted before ops.
It's like nobody knows what we do.
Ooh, what did you guys
do with your Tuvoks?
Oh, great, my favorite Vulcan.
I was married to a human for 63 years.
I know sarcasm when I hear it.
I don't need a know-it-all
picking me apart while
I'm trying to eat. [SLURPS]
Are you sure you should be
consuming that much sodium?
What do you even
know about the Trill diet?
I know that you carry
the Dax symbiont,
which must be
protected for its next host,
of which there is none
on the Anaximander.
Oh, thank you so much
for explaining that to me,
you smug Vulcan petaQ.
Your anger masks a
fear that I am correct.
Perhaps you should
moderate your eating habits.
Look, I live life to its fullest
so the next Dax can
actually learn something.
Sodium is not a full life.
Maybe it is for me, damn it!
Wait, wait, wait, if you hate danger,
then why did I have to rescue
you from your own shuttle?
[SLURPS] I didn't know the
rifts emitted radial tachyons.
Yeah. No warping or they
make your engines explode.
Ugh, yeah, that was bad.
But the good news is, now
I know how to track the guy
who's screwing up the multiverse.
- What?
- [YELPS] Don't do that.
MARINER: Back on
my Cerritos, I was trying
to figure out why our
entanglement processor
kept needing a reset.
Turns out, something was
[BLEEP] up the superposition.
- The transdimensional rifts.
- Yup.
Every time one gets opened,
a second one appears
in some random
other part of the galaxy.
Conservation of energy.
Each universe has a finite amount.
If you create a rift
T'POL: Another must open to accommodate
the energy being pushed out.
MARINER: So they're
opening a rift, closing it up,
and we're going to the wrong
one way the hell far away.
That's why we've never caught up.
We've been going to the wrong rifts.
Every rift they open creates a
huge influx of radial tachyons,
but, if we recreated
those levels first
WILLIAM: It would force
their next rift to open right here.
Where we'll be waiting.
Mariner, you're a great engineer.
Mm, why do you sound so surprised?
Sorry.
Radial tachyon
levels are still rising.
Trap is set. Let's see if this works.
Come on, you little sneak.
Show yourself.
Are the shields raised?
Because this is feeling like a
"calm before the storm" type sitch.
Holy crap, it worked.
[ALERT SOUNDING]
T'POL: Captain, Mariner's plan
appears to have been successful.
WILLIAM: They're running.
Dax, target their engines.
DAX: Direct hit. [GASPS]
They don't have shields?
They are attempting to
escape by creating a new rift.
Set a pursuit course. Full impulse.
The event horizon is in flux.
Our structural integrity
will be damaged.
We don't have a choice.
I hate this part.
I love it.
[LAUGHS]
[GROANS, SHOUTS]
- Medic, we got a battle-damaged Kim here.
- [GROANING]
These Harry Kims are stronger
than they look. He'll be fine.
In my reality, Risa has an entire moon
devoted to growing heirloom grapes.
The wine is exquisite.
My Risa has two vineyard moons.
Uh, close that artery, will you?
Each moon has multiple varietals.
I I don't care.
You will once you taste their reds.
You can't just unilaterally decide
that we're moving to
your reality. It's not fair.
I let you choose what I
had for dinner last night.
Well, that doesn't equal a
lifetime in a strange universe.
My universe isn't strange,
and you aren't even
made of carbon, my love.
- Why do you care?
- Oh, pulling the hologram card.
Forgive me.
I take it back.
My emotions got the better of me.
Hopefully, your emotions enjoy
sleeping on the ground tonight.
This hologram will be in bed, alone.
- Ugh, humans.
- Huh?
Oh, not you.
DAX: We're in weapons range.
Permission to blast these biHnuchs.
I don't think that's such
a good idea in the rift.
- This is our only chance.
- Dax, wait!
[CRACKLING]
Please tell me they didn't get away.
Thanks to Curzon's insubordination,
they were forced to make
an emergency landing.
DAX: Good.
WILLIAM: Take us down.
We have repairs of our own to make.
Don't glare at me.
We got them.
We [BLEEP] better.
Ugh. Man, my Boimler's
way chiller than this one.
I do not have a Boimler
in my quantum reality
in order to make a comparison.
Oh, he's a big Starfleet
nerd like Archer.
You had one of those, right?
Yes.
And "big Starfleet nerd"
is an accurate description.
Ugh, stupid bog planets are the worst.
They're just wet and cold and sad.
Ugh. How far do we have to wade?
Their landing site is roughly
400 meters to the north.
Keep your heads up.
We don't know anything
about this reality.
[GASPS]
- [CHIRPS]
- MARINER: Oh, no way.
I know these guys. They're super nice.
We must be on Khwopa.
Hey, what's up, my man?
- [ROARS]
- [MARINER GASPS, SCREAMS]
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
I'm starting to see why
you hate the multiverse.
Hey, you guys aren't mad
about the stuff I said
about bogs, right?
'Cause I love bogs.
Uh, live long and
[BOTH GASP]
- [SCREAMS, SIGHS]
- [HISSES]
You Kims okay?
Yeah, just a little soggy.
Feral Khwopians don't make any sense.
They're too cute to be mean.
At least they aren't
trying to drink our bones.
[MARINER WHIMPERS]
- [HYPERVENTILATING]
- WILLIAM: You okay?
I've never been in a prison before.
It's kind of freaking me out.
[SCREAMS]
WILLIAM: [GASPS] A human?
What're you doing here?
We crashed
because of your unprovoked attack.
[BOTH GROWLING]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
[GASPS] Those ghoulish creatures
trekked mud all over our sickbay.
Stay here.
Guard the ship.
I'll save the crew.
But, Garak, you're just a surgeon.
I am a surgeon, but not "just."
[MOANS]
[GASPS]
You guys seeing this?
They didn't even put us in
the cell with the commanders.
Eh, who cares?
A cell's a cell.
- Don't act like this is our fault.
- How is it not?
'Cause you've been trying
to destroy the multiverse.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Why are you so familiar?
- Oh, so then all the tears
you're ripping through
the fabric of reality
are just, what, for fun?
We always make sure to
close them after we go through.
[GASP] Holy [BLEEP],
you're Lily Sloane.
Yeah. H-Have we met?
MARINER: Boims. Boims.
Boims, this is
"built the first warp drive
"with Zefram Cochrane" Lily.
Wait, what?
I don't know what a warp drive is,
but Zef did help me build
our quantum reality drive.
Well, in this reality,
you're a depraved villain.
Okay, she clearly isn't.
They do not look
particularly nefarious, Captain.
We are on a mission of peace,
exploring quantum realities
to further our scientific knowledge.
Well, then why didn't
you say something?
We have directives which
dictate ethical boundaries
to contacting societies
who can't cross
realities on their own.
Well, whenever you
cross to a new reality,
you leave a second rift open.
- What?
- I told you we had not accounted
for the dissipation
of additional energy.
This whole time, you
weren't the bad guys.
You were just a different
type of Federation.
We've been stranded
from our home dimensions
chasing after you.
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
- I believe she is telling the truth.
- [SCREAMS]
[GROWLS]
They don't like it when we talk.
Then they can let us go.
You hear me?
Your planet su
[GRUNTS]
- [GASPS]
- [GROWLING]
[GASPS]
- WILLIAM: Garak.
- I've never been one for face-to-face combat.
[GRUNTS] This is our doctor.
Then why is he trained in combat?
- [GROWLS]
- [GRUNTS]
Old habits die hard.
If you can help us repair our ship,
I think we can get you home.
Kim crew,
roll out.
Let's go.
Hmm.
Hurry.
It won't be long
before some Khwopian
realizes we got out.
If your team can fix
the power systems,
the Beagle can get to orbit.
WILLIAM: Whoa.
That's an older design, but
the system should be similar
to what we're used to.
We should be able to manage.
DAX: Ow.
Stupid patchwork [BLEEP].
If you are fatigued, I am
able to handle this repair.
Oh, you'd love to rub that in
my face, wouldn't you, Vulcan?
I would not.
Ugh.
- So these glowsticks are what you use to cross realities?
- Yeah.
Unobserved complex gluon cores.
Well, you might want to observe
a couple 'cause they're [BLEEP].
I think we're gonna have to
hit the conduits from outside.
There's an access panel
below the port stabilizers.
- On it, boss.
- [WILLIAM SIGHS]
I can't believe you actually want
to explore quantum realities.
You don't?
I'd be happy to never hear the word
"multiverse" ever again.
What's wrong with exploring?
Oh, real exploring is great.
We go out into the galaxy
and visit strange new worlds.
What you do, isn't exploring.
I must look like I'm
stuck in one spot, huh?
The multiverse is just a
rehash of stuff I already know.
You sound a lot like Zef.
It took him a minute to get it, too.
We don't need to meet new species.
Okay, then why
bother exploring at all?
To better understand ourselves.
It's fun to learn about aliens,
but learning about humanity,
that's something else.
I've met humans who've
built rings around the sun.
I've met others whose ships
are the size of continents.
I'm learning about what humans can be.
Mapping our potential.
So far, it's limitless.
I never thought about it like that.
Look at Mariner.
Your friendship transcends realities.
Trust like that is powerful stuff.
- [SHIP RUMBLING]
- [ALL CLAMORING]
[MARINER SHOUTING]
[GRUNTS] Is that supposed to happen?
SLOANE: Someone's stealing my ship!
We need to get back to the Nax!
[GROWLING]
[GRUNTS]
We don't have time for this!
I do.
[SHOUTS, LAUGHING]
[SHOUTS]
Yah! [LAUGHS]
[GRUNTING]
Keep going.
This is how I relax.
Calm down.
Everybody's going to
get their asses kicked.
Curzon, be careful!
[EXHALES] My freaking calves.
Stupid bog planet.
So much wading.
Open hailing
frequencies, all channels.
This is Captain William Boimler.
Whoever's piloting that ship,
you need to return to the surface now.
Why? So you can take
all these beautiful Kims
back to their home
universes where they'll be
overlooked and disrespected?
Kim, what the hell are you doing?
He tricked us, Captain.
We don't want to be here.
I'm taking you back to my universe
where Harry Kims can rank up.
Hey, we didn't finish the repairs.
The Beagle can't
maintain a fifth dimension
without subspace gluons!
Spewing engineering
nonsense won't work on me.
I've got two pips!
Curzon, get us into orbit.
Aye, Captain.
You are limping.
I should've stretched
before that workout.
We have to stop him from
crossing into another QR!
Without repairs, he's flying a bomb
that could spread to all universes!
The death toll would
be beyond measure.
Damn you, two-pip Kim!
Why hasn't he opened a rift?
The Beagle won't allow it
until he's out of the gravity well.
We will not make it
in time at this speed.
Permission to try
and juice the engines?
Granted.
[GRUNTS] Why won't you work?
Hey, this un-Kim-like behavior, pal.
- Shut up, Harry!
- You shut up, Harry!
COMPUTER: Gravity well cleared.
Ha-ha! I got it.
Impulse increased by 15%.
[ALL SHOUTING]
The Beagle's falling apart.
Brace yourselves
for a better life, Kims.
Damn it!
He's making a rift.
Despite our increase in speed,
we will not be close
enough to intervene.
Well, then we need to
do a micro warp jump.
The tachyon levels are too high.
Our engines would overload.
How are we supposed to
stop them and not blow up?
The Beagle's creating waves
of gravitational turbulence.
And that's a good thing?
It means mass matters.
If I can increase the
gravity around the warp port,
it'll be a tachyon shield,
and we can go as fast as you want.
But, won't that crush you?
Let's pretend I'm the
adventurous Mariner
from your reality
who's okay risking it.
- Mariner
- [ALERT SOUNDING]
[GRUNTS]
[BLEEP]
[SHOUTS]
[MOANING]
Thought you could
use a holographic hand.
Engineering is at ten
times gravity, Captain.
Curzon, warp us now!
- [DAX GRUNTING]
- Dax?
Stupid salamander zapped me.
Get him to sickbay!
- Mariner, I hope you're right.
- [BEEPS]
♪
Ah, it worked, the warp
core's not overloading.
Great.
Shut off
the gravity.
Oh, right, sorry.
[WHIRRING SLOWS]
[EXHALES, PANTING]
There's nothing more I can do.
- If we had had more time.
- Thank you, Doctor.
Garak, you do know I'll
follow you to any reality.
I'd do the same for
you. I really don't care
where we end up as
long as we're together.
What?
Then why have we been arguing?
Because it's fun.
No, it's not!
[LAUGHS]
Nobody stops Harry Kim.
[GRUNTS]
What are you doing?
We have to transport out of here.
Why?
I'm offering you a better life.
If that's what it takes,
- we don't want it.
- What are you Hey!
- No!
- Grab him!
[COUGHS]
Well, at least you
get a front row seat
to my demise.
I take no pleasure in
seeing my friend perish.
Since when are we friends?
- Since the day we met.
- [COUGHING]
I know.
Dax had a good run.
Too bad that it has to end with me.
I will remove your symbiont,
and return it to your reality.
[GASPS] Won't work without a host.
Then I must attempt to
transfer your shared memories
from Dax itself.
[KIMS GRUNTING, CLAMORING]
Fine!
You Kims are too weak to know
a good thing when you have it.
You want to know why
you're all still ensigns?
This, this is why.
You don't deserve to come with me.
- KIMS: Whoa.
- Welcome back, Kims.
Good to be back, sir.
Can you get a tractor beam on him?
Negative, he's too far.
- Then target engines.
- No!
If you open fire now,
it'll just make it worse!
Worse than destroying all realities?!
Harry, you have to stop.
That ship won't make it.
Nice try.
I'm Harry [BLEEP] Kim.
And you don't get to order me around.
[LAUGHING]
[CACKLES]
- [SHOUTING]
- [GRUNTING]
That was
more katra than I had anticipated.
[COUGHING]
You back Dax up
in that big Vulcan brain.
I will protect and pass them on.
Maybe, you're not so bad.
For a Vulcan.
[MONITOR FLATLINES]
[ALL GASP]
Lily, what's happening?
The explosion disrupted
the coherence of the rift.
Soliton waves will spread
across all quantum realities.
No, no, there has to
be something we can do.
This ship has a force beam generator?
A deflector?
Yeah.
With a directed soliton burst,
I could use it to guide the
wave into a single reality.
But then won't you be dooming
an entire universe to be destroyed?
It's either one, or all.
We need a reality that
can respond to the threat.
I know where to send it.
Scan me.
Use my reality.
What?
Boims, no.
- Are you sure?
- WILLIAM: No.
But, I'm there and so are you.
And Tendi and Rutherford.
I know they can figure out a solution.
Why would you do this to your friends?
Because he trusts them.
And that trust transcends
quantum realities.
Activate the soliton beam.
[COMPUTER TRILLING]
Done.
I hope you're right.
I piggybacked a
message to my duplicate.
- He'll know what to do.
- Will he?
Yeah, as long as he doesn't freak out.
Holy [BLEEP]!
We're all gonna die!
- [BOIMLER SCREAMING]
- [OBJECTS CRASHING]
♪