Starsky and Hutch (1975) s02e07 Episode Script

27 - The Vampire

I love you, Maria.
I will always love you.
It'll work.
Our love will mak e it work.
I can feel it.
I'll bring you back from death, Maria.
I promise.
I'll bring you back.
Together we'll never die.
How do you like this little gold mine I gotta take care of until my cousin Louie returns? Very nice, Hug.
Hey, he's got a big stake in frog futures.
He had to leave for Venezuela to check out his new frog ranch.
All this happened after the IRS read his latest tax returns.
Really.
Would you look at that? Look at that.
Look at that.
Look at that.
What are you gonna do, just stand there and stare? You gonna go over and talk to them.
Just like that? Yeah.
Okay.
On second thought, maybe I'd better take control of the situation.
Why? Well, I wouldn't want you to lose what little dignity you might have left.
Watch the master at work, huh? Oh, ladies, excuse me.
Uh, this is, uh Starsky.
David Starsky.
David Starsky.
Hello.
Hi, uh This is Bobette.
Barbette? Bobette.
Bobette.
And this is Jane.
Hi, Jane.
I'm sorry.
You'll have to excuse my friend.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
Oh, I think you're kind of foxy.
Yeah? Yeah.
Foxy, huh? Uh-huh.
Hey, you know something? The two of you look like twins.
Hey, excuse me.
What? Dobey's on the phone.
Hm? He wants to speak to one of you.
Says it's urgent.
Oh, no.
Heads or tails? What? Heads or tails? Heads.
No, it's tails.
Tough break, foxy.
Terrific.
Do you guys come here a lot? No, no.
As a matter of fact, we don't.
Yeah? What? Captain, this is our night off.
Yeah Okay.
Okay! We really don't have too much time off.
We work 12- to 14-hour shifts.
Hey, uh, we gotta go.
What? Ah.
Sorry, ladies.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
Hey, are you guys really policemen? Yep.
That's exciting.
Yeah? Yeah.
See you.
Bye.
Hey, hey, I didn't get that number.
Yeah, no What? Get both of them, will you? You got them, huh? Yeah.
Did you write them down? Tattooed on my brain.
Oh.
Captain.
Where have you two been? Off duty.
You know, enjoying a couple of slices of heaven, a piece of apple pie.
Any witnesses? There never are in cases like this.
What do we got? Well, right now, not much.
Her name was Honey Williams, and she was on her way home from Slade's Cave, where she worked as a dancer.
Slade's Cave? That's right.
You the owner? Hey.
Hey! Your name Slade? Yeah, that's right on, man.
You win the prize.
We'd like to know a little something about Honey Williams.
Ain't you pigs got anything better to do than bust strippers? Yeah, find out who kills them.
Somebody killed Honey? A little less than an hour ago.
Honey's dead? What happened? That's what we're trying to find out.
Hey, I ain't left this place all night.
Ask anybody.
Nobody said you did.
Miss, miss Offenbecker.
Miss Offenbecker.
Linda Offenbecker.
Somebody killed her? That's right.
Linda, did you notice any of the customers trying to hit on her? Hey, the broad dances for a living, a lot of guys hit on her.
No, but Honey was gonna be a great dancer one day.
I even took a lesson with her once.
Where was that? Um It was over on Broadway at Nadasy's.
I'm sorry? Nadasy's.
Hey.
Sweetheart? He been here all night? Um I think he was, um I was dancing a lot at that time, and I think he was.
Somebody killed Honey? At times like this, you're glad your sister didn't go into show biz.
If you're so all-fired smart, what's a "paw de toose"? Pas du tout.
Uh-huh.
"Not at all.
" What? That's what it means, "not at all.
" Après moi.
What does that mean? "After me.
" What's the number of those twins? Huh? The twins.
What do you want to know for? You do remember it, don't you? Sure, uh, it's 456 No, it's 465 Tattooed on your brain, right? Can I help you, gentlemen? Yeah, sorry to interrupt you.
We'd like to ask a couple questions about one of your students, Honey Williams.
Why, certainly.
Just a minute.
Uh, ladies.
Ladies, take a break for five minutes.
Relax.
Yes, what about Honey? I hope she's not in any kind of trouble.
She's dead.
What? What happened? She was assaulted last night near her apartment.
The world is becoming a very unsafe place to live in.
Yeah.
Could you tell us something about her? She was She was a very promising dancer.
She was talented.
She was dedicated.
Would she have had any enemies? Oh, I don't know.
I didn't know her that well.
She seemed like a genuinely good person.
That's my late wife.
She died recently too.
I'm sorry.
It always seems to be the good ones, doesn't it? Yeah, well, uh Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, ladies.
Let's resume class.
Look, Hutchinson, I'm reading what it says in the coroner's report right here: "Death by strangulation.
" All right, what about her neck? It was mangled, like somebody had chewed it all up, you know.
"A sharp, two-pronged instrument was driven into her jugular vein after the victim was dead.
" After? Traces of human saliva found on the neck.
What? That's not all.
More blood was missing from the body than was accountable for at the scene of the crime.
What kind of weirdo are we dealing with here? Look, the newspaper and TV people are gonna have a field day on this one.
But I don't want any wild speculation from you two.
All right, captain.
You know something? What? This sounds like the m.
o.
On that, uh Carson.
Oh, yeah.
She was killed last month on the south side.
Carol Carson.
It was on the 25th of the month.
Exactly the same m.
o.
, but nothing turned up.
Look, you two better hit the streets and put a lid on this before the town goes crazy.
Yeah.
Here you go, cap.
Why, thank you, Starsky.
This nut sounds like he's going on a spree.
Attacked in the middle of the night, blood missing from her neck You know something? What? Did you ever see any of those vampire movies? Oh, that's good, Starsk.
That's a very sensible conclusion.
Can't you feel it? The excitement, Maria? I know.
It's not enough yet.
We'll go out again tonight.
All patients and prisoners released from psychiatric institutions within the last two years.
Yeah.
Oh, Sarah, would you get me some more coffee, please? Thank you.
Nobody said it was gonna be easy, Roger.
Anybody! Anyone who's had any record of criminal assaults against women, schizophrenic delusions, blood fetishists.
Blood fetishists, Roger.
Yeah, I'll hold.
Thanks, Sarah.
What did you find out about Slade? Hm? Petty theft, possession, statutory rape How'd you do in research? I got something really fantastic.
Did you know the last person to be tried, convicted and executed of being a vampire was in England in 1949? You too, huh? I mean, this is really crazy.
I mean, this is really lunatic time.
Yeah? How about that Dracula was named after a real person in the 15th century in Transylvania? Yeah, Roger! Roger, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to yell.
Okay.
Look, would you also get me a crosscheck on Honey Williams and the other dead girl? Find out what you can about what they had in common.
Besides being dead, Roger.
Yeah, you're a real comedian.
You know that? No, we are not looking for any vampire! Now I suppose you're gonna tell me about wooden crosses and hammers and stakes.
Well, actually, to be most effective, the stakes should be made out of cedar, but if it's a lead we're looking for to hit the streets with, there is one thing that all these books agree on.
That is, whenever vampirism is practiced, it is usually in connection with the occult and devil worship.
You just won't accept the possibility, will you? That there's a real vampire? No.
Well, then how do you explain those two girls, huh? I can't do that.
Not now.
Yeah, well, Hutch, these are modern times.
Anything is possible.
I mean, they're landing cameras on Mars and taking pictures.
Girls are trying out for football teams.
Yeah, but bats do not suckers of human blood make.
Yeah? Well, fools and only greenhorns try to predict the weather.
Starsky, that is just plain idiotic.
You know that? Just idiot Wait a second.
Wait a second.
What? What's that around your neck? It's nothing.
It's nothing! Just let me look.
Will you please Just let me look.
It's garlic.
It's garlic! I've been known to wear garlic lots of times.
You mean while I was on the phone, you actually went down to the commissary and you bought yourself a clove of garlic to protect yourself against vampires? I got one for you too.
Yuck.
Four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Forward, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Impulse back.
Two.
More, Suzette, more, more.
Good, Suzette.
You're beginning to look like something.
Well, that's all right, girls.
We'll just cut it short for today.
Thank you.
Zebra 3, Zebra 3.
See the man at the Play Pen Bar, Marshall and Bundy.
Excuse me.
Hey, Starsky.
Hutch.
Hey, Hug, what you doing? I heard on the TV news that there's a guy running around thinking he's a bloodsucking vampire and the police can't protect us, so people gotta protect themselves.
At $2.
98 a crack? Hey, for $7.
50 you get your complete vampire protection kit.
Complete with hammer and stake for finishing off the old dude.
One cross guaranteed to make any vampire of Christian persuasion cringe in terror, and one garlic wreath for all the rest of the denominations.
And last, but not least, a mirror, and if he's standing behind you and you can't see him in this, it's time for feet to do their thing.
Hug, how much for all this stuff? Starsk, Starsk Huggy, you called us.
Right.
Uh, I just thought you might be interested.
There's a guy named Guybo who lives on Fifth Street.
Guybo? Yeah, Guybo.
He runs a palm-reading joint, and he's heavy into the occult and devil-worship trip.
Oh.
Well, thank you very much.
Wait a sec.
Hug, how much for the hammer and stake? Starsky, you don't need a hammer.
How do you know? Use your head.
Wow.
Did you see this? Why do you think his nose is wrapped in straw? Oh, Mr.
Guybo? Yes? Uh, police.
Oh.
Hold that, will you? We understand that when it comes to devil worship and the occult that you are the man to talk to, is that right? Well, if it's the reading about Mrs.
Longello, I will give back the money.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Huggy Bear sent us over here.
He thought maybe you could help us out.
We're looking for this maniac that draws blood off of people.
Oh.
My ancestors have spoken about this, but it was said to have happened many years ago.
Oh, well, how many years ago? How about something more recent, huh? Well, there are some Satanists.
Their leader is a man named Seeds.
Seeds.
Yes.
I have it on good authority that at their ceremonies, they stand naked under a midnight moon and paint their bodies with human blood.
No kidding.
Where do you find these people? I don't know.
My people don't go near them.
Yeah Say, is it true that you can speak with the spirits? But of course, that is my profession.
Well, do you think you could, uh, you know, conjure up an image of this guy, this killer? This maniac we're looking for? Do you think you could do that? Why don't you give him a couple of bucks? When the full moon rises over the city, the bloodsucker comes forth.
The hollowed-eyed one with the black cape who preys on young women.
Oh, boy.
Where'd you drag that one up from? From the 6:00 news.
Hey, what do you expect for a sawbuck? A trance usually costs $30.
Starsk, you see this? Starsk? You know what I see in here? I see a dark-haired moron pretending to be Sherlock Holmes.
Thanks, guapo.
Hello? All units, all units in the vicinity of 884 Bundy, prowler reported wearing a cape.
This is Zebra 3.
We are responding.
I got him! Okay, get a coroner's wagon.
What happened? Where'd he go? I don't believe it.
What? He flew.
What? He flew! It's 25 feet.
Look at that.
Yeah? Yeah.
Don't take it so hard, count.
Anybody else? Yeah, one more.
You got anything? I don't know.
Maybe I got a pattern here.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
The first girl who was killed worked in an office on Broadway.
The second girl who was killed, Honey Williams, took ballet lessons in a theatre on the same block on Broadway.
And the one last night? And the girl that was killed last night didn't live or work there.
But if there is some kind of connection, I'm gonna try her apartment.
Says here she has a roommate.
That's pretty terrific detective work.
Yeah? How are you doing? Okay.
The last of the American heroes, coming up.
Okay, Supergnat, how did it happen? The night was dark.
The wind howled beneath the full moon You get the picture? Yeah.
I leap from the top floor of the apartment building.
My prey was below me, unsuspecting.
Are you with me? Yeah.
I caught her by surprise.
I was too powerful for her to struggle away.
Okay, killer.
Jump over this chair.
Give me another chance.
Come on.
Give me another chance at it! One out of two ain't bad.
Here are your glasses, Supergnat.
Skedaddle.
Don't you think he's a little short for a vampire? That's it.
What's it? The girl who was attacked last night took ballet lessons at the same school that Honey Williams did.
Boy, one of these days, Starsky Attitude, ladies, attitude! You know, if it wasn't for that bad leg, he could be the same guy we saw last night.
Hello.
What can I do for you today? Suzette Clark.
Another one of your students was attacked and murdered last night.
Oh, my God.
In the same manner? Afraid so.
Mr.
Nadasy, three of the girls that have been killed, two of them have been students of yours.
Yes, but I have over 200 students.
Something troubling you? What? Well, how long have you had a bum leg like that? You think I'm your vampire.
I hurt my leg in 1961.
I was with the National Company then.
I mean, that's quite verifiable.
It cut short what many people thought was a very promising career.
Well, then you wouldn't mind telling us where you've been for the last several nights.
You two could add a new dimension to the word "boorish.
" I'm on the board of governors of the City Ballet.
We had tryouts there this past week.
I don't think I got away on any evening earlier than 3 a.
m.
Now, that too is quite verifiable.
Is there anything further I can do for you? Yeah, we'd like a look at your student records.
No, I'm afraid it would be too disruptive for the class.
But you're welcome to take my files with you if you think they'll do any good.
That guy is a strange bird.
Yep.
Guess it would be pretty stupid to run out a check on him, what with his bum leg and all.
Yeah, well, that's why I put the request in your name.
Thank you.
Zebra 3, come in, please.
Zebra 3, go ahead.
Your friend Slade, from Slade's Cave, has an alias, "Seeds," and he's been heavy into satanic rituals for the past six years.
We're on our way.
Did you really put that request in my name? Yeah.
Where's Slade? Upstairs, in his room.
Where? Slade? Slade? Where's Slade? Well, someone's either going in or going out.
Boy, the man is a lot of laughs.
Hutch Nice cape, huh? Yeah.
Real cute.
Starsk Hm? Blood? Give us a reason.
Your alibis are all washed up, Slade.
You got a broken-down stripper, you got a speed freak for a bartender.
Those are hardly reliable witnesses.
Are you trying to frame me? What? What about the blood, Slade? I told you, it was goat's blood.
We kill goats, drain the blood.
That's not what you tell your customers.
Look, Slade, we're not going anywhere.
There are three girls dead, and right now, you stand to fall for all three of them.
It wasn't me, man.
It wasn't.
What do you think, I'm crazy or something? No, everyone stands stark naked at midnight and paints themself with blood.
The people I got up there for the ceremonies were suckers.
But it was goat's blood, man.
Nothing else.
I may have told them something different, but it was goat's blood.
Now, wait a second.
Are you trying to tell us that this devil hocus-pocus you sell to people is a racket? It's a living.
I got a bank account with six figures.
How you doing, sweetheart? Starsky and Hutch.
I want to see you two a minute.
Just got a report back on that blood you got at Slade's place.
Goat, right? That's right.
Does this mean he's not our man? No, but I bet 2-to-1 he knows who is.
We think he turned someone on with that blood-devil ritual, only whoever he turned on, turned on all the way and flipped out.
Is he gonna sing? I don't think so.
Not unless you're ready to let him make a deal with the DA.
He's in too deep.
Well, it's a little after 10.
What do you want to do? Why don't you go talk to the DA, and we'll finish up with Slade.
All right.
We're getting closer, I can feel it.
It's exciting, isn't it, Maria? And soon, my darling, you'll be back with me where you belong.
Hello? Miss Offenbecker? Yeah? This is René Nadasy.
I was just going through your friend Honey Williams' locker here at the ballet studio, and I found some photographs that I think will be of great interest to you.
Photographs? What kind of photographs? If you're really a friend of Mr.
Slade's, you'd better get over here, now.
It won't be long now, Maria.
I'll start over here.
You got it.
Hutch.
It seems he kept pictures of all his satanic rituals.
Hey.
I see he's got some important people in here.
Look.
What? You know who that is? Hello? Is anybody here? Is anybody here? Nadasy! Police! You all right? Wait outside.
Nadasy! Nadasy! You know something? What? He almost made it.
Like Supergnat said, "One out of two ain't bad.
" Look, there.
I told you they'd be here.
Okay.
Hey, look.
Supposing that we're as irresistible and "swave" and "debonyer" as usual "Debonyer"? "Debonyer.
" It's French.
Where do you wanna go after this, your place or mine? Oh, yeah, that's fine.
What do you mean, "that's fine"? Well, I'll go to my place.
You go to yours.
Jane and I don't like crowds.
Jane and you? You don't even know the girl.
Well Look, do me a favour, will you? Try to act a little, you know What do you think I am, crude? Well, I Hi! Hi, Jane.
Hello, Bobette.
Hutch, no, I'm Jane.
That's Bobette.
Uh, uh, uh.
I'm Starsky.
He's Hutch.
Oh, Ken and Dave, right? Wrong.
Yeah.
Uh, no, I'm Ken.
He's Dave.
Well, what's in a name, huh? There may be a lot in a name if you happen to be the one the vampire bit.
Get away from me, Huggy.
Never fear, Huggy the hoodoo man is here.
What's he talking about? Well, you know what they say about people getting bitten by vampires.
Well, Huggy here is afraid that Starsky might turn into one.
All we have to do is find the burned-out hollow of a tree stump, approach it at midnight, and I've got everything we need.
I've got frog legs, bat wings, lizard tongue Will you go play in the yard? Where's my lizard tongues? Huggy, I would've brought you mine, except I think I left it on the bureau.
I must have left them in the fridge.
I'll be right back.
Take them all.
Everything.
Hey, Starsky.
Don't fly away.
Does he really believe all that? Yeah, he sure does.
Isn't that the silliest thing you ever heard? SDI Media