Starsky and Hutch (1975) s02e18 Episode Script

38 - Survival

Okay, let's run this thing down one more time.
Now, when you're ready for us to come in, you say a code word, which is? Suffering succotash.
Don't kid around, man.
Your life's going to be at stake.
Starsky, I think we've rehearsed this thing enough.
Yeah, I think you're afraid of losing your spontaneity.
And I think you're just jealous because I'm the one who's going in.
Hutchinson Hutchinson.
It begins with an H.
Okay, just a second.
Go get it, Biggy.
You know, I bet you're just dynamite with the ladies, Bigalow.
Very funny, very funny.
Here you are, stock number 14692A.
Bigalow It's a desk lamp.
Well, of course it's a desk lamp.
What did you expect, a wastepaper basket? Bigalow, you funny guy.
What I expected is what's written here on this paper, Bigalow.
It says "one transistorised power-pack transmitter.
" I'm going undercover.
I'm not decorating an office.
is a desk lamp.
What are you talking about? Look right here, under "description of requested material.
" It says "one transistorised, power-pack transmitter.
" I'll have you know, Hutchinson, I don't read descriptions.
Nobody in my department reads descriptions.
We only read numbers.
Then what do you need descriptions for? For the simpletons who can't understand our number system.
Starsky, Hutchinson, you about ready? Not quite, captain.
We still got one small problem.
Captain Dobey.
Captain Dobey, just a second.
I've got 50,000 dollars upstairs in marked bills.
You also got a half a dozen officers waiting, so whatever your problem is, you'd better get it straightened out.
Here you are, captain.
22271 R.
What is this, Bigalow, some kind of joke? You know what this is? It's a transistorised power-pack transmitter.
My requisition calls for a desk lamp.
I'm decorating my office, not going undercover.
Happy birthday, cap.
Thank you, Starsky.
You're welcome.
Roy Scanlon.
I'm expected.
Zebra Three.
Everybody got their positions? Roger.
We're in position.
Sit tight.
I'm going in.
Hey, hey, hey, Big Hump.
What's happening? Well, if you had eyes, you might see that I'm loading your merchandise.
Oh, yeah.
And the name is Humphries, Scanlon.
Watch my mouth.
So you did.
So you did.
Ah, what's in a name, right? I'll call you "Vic".
Or do you get off on "Victor", huh? Whatever, Scanlon.
Off the car.
All right, let's get to it, Victor.
I'm kind of anxious to get home, you know.
You know the old song, "New York, New York It's A Wonderful Town.
" Well, maybe you'd just like to see the merchandise.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
Nice, Vic.
Very, very nice.
You're gonna mak e my friends back on the east coast very happy.
I assume that these these little beauties come with what you call your basic 90-day warranty? Scanlon, I'm a busy man.
Now, if you like the merchandise, show me your money.
If not, the meeting's over.
Yeah, well, take it easy, Vic.
Take it easy.
I said, get off the car.
All right, Scanlon, let's see what you got.
Fifty G, as agreed.
Aw, you're not going to count it, Victor? I'm flattered.
Well, don't be.
You see, I figure it's me that's coming out ahead.
What are you talking, Vic? Well, you know your friends back east are never gonna see these little beauties here or you, for that matter.
Hutch is getting ripped.
Let's move in.
Come on, Vic, you're not dumb enough to kill a cop, are you? Get him.
Get him.
Hutch! Hey! Hey! Take him.
Hutch! Hey, get me another cop! Come on! Hey, where's Humphries, huh? Hey, you okay? Oh, boy.
Humphries Humphries came running in here.
Hello yourself.
Did you see him? Where's Humphries? That's what I'm asking you.
Hey, come on.
How many fingers do I got up? Huh? Where? Beautiful.
Paramedic! I'll be right back.
Paramedic! Hey! Brains ain't exactly your strong suit, are they, sweetheart? Get out.
Head still hurting? No.
Wanna bite? You had to ask, didn't you? It's good.
Good for you.
You know something, Starsk? When they do your autopsy, they're going to find a petrified beef burrito.
Mm-hmm, with onions.
Well, well, Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson.
The dynamic duo.
I hope I'm not interrupting your lunch.
You are, but that's okay.
I just lost my appetite as soon as you arrived.
Oh, come on, Starsk, lighten up.
This guy's got a pretty difficult few days ahead of him.
I forgot.
This is the eminent Mr.
Balford that's representing Vic Humphries.
Well, beats chasing ambulances.
If you gentlemen are through, I'd like a copy of the arrest report.
With pleasure.
I wouldn't read that out loud to your client if I were you.
He's depressed enough as it is.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
What are you doing here? I thought you were disbarred.
What do you mean it's gonna be rough? Victor, they've got us boxed in this time, you know? With Hutchinson's testimony, they've got us nailed to the wall.
Us, huh? I am the one in the jail, counsellor.
Are you trying to tell me that we don't have any options at all? Not with that blond cop's testimony.
And if he doesn't testify? Oh, the case goes out the window.
See, he was the inside man.
Then we do have one option, don't we? I've got the perfect alibi, because you're going to see to it that I don't get out on bail until tomorrow.
Vic Killing a cop, uh that's a bad idea.
Well, you got a better one? If not, then you'd just better shut up and listen, counsellor.
Now, you get Lou Scobie for me.
Lou Scobie? We have no real national energy policy.
I'll tell you something What you need to do is make contact with the people that I believe do care.
The representatives who want to be elected Okay.
the same ones who fight the seniority system with all their might until they gain seniority.
Ooh! Ow! They need you to put them back into office.
KBEX, on the line with Michael Jackson.
Hello? Yeah? Speak to me.
Hutch? This is Lou.
Who? Lou Scobie.
Yeah, what is it, Lou? I got a biggie for you on that murderlextortion ring you've been trying to bust open.
Yeah, well, you know something, Lou? The last hot tip you gave me took me two weeks to unthaw.
Can you give me a hint? Yeah.
I know who's doing the burning.
Who's that? Ah-ah.
All right, Lou, same place? No.
I think they're watching me there.
You know where Barnaby's Tavern is? Yeah.
Why way out there? Because right now, that's the only place I feel safe.
Well, look, Lou.
Uh, I'm gonna send Starsky out there to meet you.
No! No Starsky.
I don't trust him.
You come yourself or forget it.
All right, Lou.
I'll see you in 20 minutes.
I guess I was okay, huh? Yeah.
Now just one more thing.
Uh, Hutchinson's car, what does it look like? Uh, I think it's a Ford, '72 or '73, light brown.
You were just fine, yeah.
Slater Well, uh don't miss, huh? Don't worry.
Your cop friend will never get off that mountain road alive.
- The hurricane season starting here in this country.
Hundreds of thousands of people in a mass migration, a move by Good Samaritan after Good Samaritan.
The main problem is we have to know and understand the problem before we can get inv olved, and that's what I think we have, a communication breakdown.
Right now, out there, there is somebody wanting help, needing help.
The reason he's not getting any, or she isn't able to avail herself of it, is because I didn't know, you didn't know, we don't know who you are, where you are, or what you want.
Until tomorrow, thanks for your company.
Thanks for your involvement.
I'm Michael Jackson, KBEX.
This is Zebra Three to Central.
Please come in.
This is Zebra Three to Central.
This is an emergency.
Please, please come in.
Hello, up there! Hello, up there! Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped! Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped! All America on wheels.
What a joke.
No, I can't relieve an officer's duty every time something like this happens.
I'm not talking about every time.
I'm talking about right now.
I'm telling you, captain.
This ain't Hutch's style.
You know what, Starsky? You're acting like a mother hen.
Just because he stood this girl up.
Maybe he found something more important to do with his time.
More important than coming to work? More important than making a call? That's good, Smitty.
Smitty See you next week.
See you, Smitty.
Captain, I may not know a lot about a lot of things, but there's one thing I know about Hutch: He's a creature of habit.
He does things a certain way.
He's not about to cook a meal for a beautiful lady and then go off and forget them both.
Something's wrong.
I got a feeling.
All right.
Take as much time as you need.
What? I'm taking your name off the roster, just for today.
Starsky Make sure you let me know what happens.
The glory of the coming of the Lord He is trampling out the You, up there! You, up there, I'm trapped in my car! I need help! His truth goes marching on Glory, glory, hallelujah Glory, glory, hallelujah You, up there! I need help! Glory, glory, hallelujah I'm down in the canyon! His truth goes marching on Am I glad to see you.
I was beginning to think I wasn't going to make it.
You wouldn't happen to have any water, by any chance? Maybe, for openers, you could take some of the pressure off this leg.
You with the 105th? What? I'm a police officer.
MP, huh? Where's your uniform, MP? I don't wear a uniform.
I'm a detective with the police department.
Who am I talking to? Colonel Sonny McPherson.
Where are we, colonel? What's the matter, boy? Got knocked in the head? This here's occupied France.
Now, I'm gonna ask you again.
Are you with the 105th Armour or ain't you? Yeah, that's my outfit, all right.
I I guess I must have gotten separated.
Maybe you could help me get back to my unit and take some of the pressure off this leg! You speak pretty good English for a Jerry.
You see, there ain't no 105th Armour.
Goddamn, I got me a spy.
You got me wrong, colonel.
No, no, I ain't got nothing wrong.
You're a German soldier in civilian clothes.
I could shoot you right now.
I'm gonna get myself another medal.
Balford! Balford! Detective Starsky.
Now, what can I do for you? Nothing much.
I heard you managed to spring your friend here.
I wanted to be the first to say I'm sorry it happened.
We don't have to listen to this.
I've just got one question.
Where were you the last 24 hours? I? Working for my client.
Does that include making sure the prosecution's key witness doesn't show up? Now, what's that supposed to mean? My, my.
Aren't we shocked and outraged.
You been coaching him, Balford? Well, you're way off base, uh, Starsky.
I mean, way off.
But I'll tell you this.
If someone did hit on him I'd be the first to congratulate him.
If something happened to Hutch, and you're the man, I'm going to come after you myself.
No lawyer in the world will be able to help you then.
You all saw that? This officer struck my client without provocation.
I mean, Detective Starsky, I mean, you can be sure that I will file a formal charge of harassment immediately.
File away.
That's what it was.
What did you hope to accomplish? I told you, captain.
It was a reaction.
Starsky, there's got to be a hundred other suspects out there.
Why pick on Humphries? Because he's got the most to gain.
How's that? Maybe he's the only one I could think of.
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Some girl Says Huggy Bear wants you to meet him at the Pits.
Could be about Hutch.
Hey, you made it in a hurry.
What do you got? You know the name Roy Slater? Yeah.
Uh, hit man from Tucson.
One very bad dude.
Loves to hurt chicks and handle jobs other people won't touch.
And? Well, the word is he's gonna blast a cop.
It might have happened already.
I don't know.
Starsky? Huh? Yeah, okay.
Uh, where do I find this guy? I'm not sure, but there used to be a chick named Carla Iverson.
Used to work at the old amusement park in Mandalay Heights before they tore it down.
But I'm not sure how you can find her now.
If she's in this city, I'll find her.
Must have been marching down Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.
Fifteen thousand.
We were living in tents shacks made out of old newspapers.
Sonny, I'm going to die if you don't help me.
You have to help me.
You're a Jerry.
I don't have to help you.
Do you know how many of my people, my friends that you killed? You know, I don't even have to stay here.
I can send an armoured patrol to pick you up.
Don't go.
Colonel, colonel, don't go.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You were telling me about MacArthur, about meeting MacArthur about the Bonus March.
Yeah, there was 15,000 of us.
You know, we were living in tents shacks made out of old newspapers.
Colonel Would you take this, please? It's my ID.
Take this to Sergeant David Starsky Metropolitan division, police headquarters.
You don't want to hear nothing.
You don't want to hear no how.
Help me.
I don't have to listen to you.
My name is Colonel Sonny McPherson.
The war is over.
Help me.
I can't help.
I can't Glory, glory Business must be good downstairs.
You Carla? Put your $20 on the table here where I can see it.
You haven't got all night.
What do you want, cop? Roy Slater.
Roy Slater? It's important.
Look Roy Slater is part of my past, and I'd just as soon forget about him, okay? Okay for you.
Not for me.
This where he comes to when he comes in town? Carla tell me about his victims.
I don't know what you're talking about, "victims.
" What happened to your hand? Nothing.
It was an accident.
How did it happen? Huh? How did it happen? You know what I think, Carla? I think you know a lot about his victims.
I think you're afraid of becoming one of his victims if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person or to a cop.
Isn't that so? Look, he's crazy.
You don't know how mean he can get.
Where is he? You know, someone very, very, very close to me might be dead because of your friend.
And I've got no way of knowing unless I can find him, and I can ask him.
And I can only give you one thing in return.
And that's the chance never to see Roy Slater again.
Hotel Garvey.
What? Hotel Garvey.
Ocean Eleven, Ocean Eleven, please respond to a 415 at the Mandalay Heights Amusement Park.
Okay, Mildred, let's see if you can hear me.
This is Zebra Three to Central.
This is Zebra Three to Central.
This is an emergency.
Units in the vicinity of East Brewer, a 211 in progress at the corner of Brewer and Devon.
Oh, come on, Mildred.
This is Ocean Nine in the vicinity Please.
Come on, Mildred.
This is an emergency, baby.
In progress at that address.
Zebra six, Zebra nine, and Zebra They are armed and dangerous.
Repeat, proceed with extreme caution.
How about the rest of you radio freaks out there? This is an emergency.
Officer needs help.
Officer needs help I'm in a canyon six miles West Find Sonny Sonny thinks he's a colonel.
He can tell you my location Bobby Bobby, get my zipper, would you? Shh.
Don't you shush me, young man.
Mom, there's somebody in trouble out here.
I think it's a police officer.
I heard him.
Well, that's a new one.
Well, even if it was so, how do you know where it's coming from? Didn't you tell me this thing picks up signals from all over the world? Yeah, yeah.
Well, then, let some police officer take care of their own.
This room is a mess.
Don't you have work to do? Bobby, get back to your homework.
Mom! I can't be spending all my time with you.
I have a date tonight.
Turn it off now.
Bobby, turn it off.
Good night.
Slater? Police.
Slater? Give it up.
You're not even close.
Aah, aah, aah! All right, what you got? Got the feedback on those numbers they found in Slater's apartment.
Guess who one of them belongs to.
Who? The eminent James Balford.
That's Humphries' attorney.
Well, what about the truck? Just as you thought, it was in an accident, and whatever it hit was painted brown just like Hutch's car.
That's wonderful.
We've got circumstantial evidence against a dead man, a phone number on a piece of paper belonging to a guy that set him up, maybe.
Sounds like Humphries is the winner.
Yeah, but how do we get him? One of you, answer the phone! Never mind.
I'll do it myself.
Are you drawing pictures, Wofford? Dobey here.
I'm looking for Sergeant Starsky.
What? Starsky, I got a ham operator here.
Sounds like a kid.
Says he's been receiving radio signals from what he thinks is an injured officer.
I'm Colonel Sonny McPherson.
I captured a German spy up in the hills.
What was he carrying, a fifth of Muscatel? Someone get this drunk out of here.
No, no, I'm Colonel McPherson.
Norton, would you see the old gentlemen home, please? No, you have to understand.
You have to understand.
Why can't anybody ever listen to anyone anymore? See? What'd I tell you, man? I told you I saw a flash.
Hey, Lance, come here, man.
Look at this.
There's somebody in this car.
Come on.
Hold on.
I think we got us a cop.
What? Look at all the credit cards.
Harry will give us good money for these things.
Continued aggressions formulated by the Yankee imperialist governments of the west.
This is Radio Moscow signing off.
That's the frequency he was on, but he just stopped broadcasting.
When did it stop? Just before you got here.
It never was very strong.
And you got no hint as to where it might be coming from? Sometimes, a signal gets magnified depending upon where it's broadcasting from.
What you're saying is that no matter how far away it might be, it might sound like it's coming from next door.
A signal coming from the other side of the world sounds like it's next door, and vice versa.
Look think real hard, Bobby.
Did he say anything, anything else, that might help me? He said somebody's name a couple of times Uh, it was really crazy.
He said something like Sonny.
Yeah, something like that.
See, Sonny thinks he's a colonel.
Thinks he's a colonel Oh, my God.
You got a telephone around here? There's one in the living room, but this one's faster.
Why don't you come down to the station sometime, huh? I'll show you the communications centre.
Oh, that'd be great.
All right, I'm here.
Captain, this is Starsky.
That old geezer in the military outfit, is he still there? No, we got him out of here right after you left.
Why? Uh, well He might know where Hutch is.
What did you do, drunk tank? No, we had Norton take him back to the Veterans Administration.
That's where he hangs out.
Vic? Harry Trask.
Yeah, Harry.
What's up? Well, word is that you're real interested in a cop named Hutchinson.
Anything to it? You must be hearing things, Harry.
Well, then I guess you're not interested if this cop's dead or alive, huh? What are you getting at? I just bought Hutchinson's credit cards off a couple of punks.
They say they found him pinned under his car up in the hills very much alive.
Now, your boys must be getting a little sloppy, Vic.
There'll be a grand in this for you, Harry.
If Sonny's in trouble, I'd like to help.
No, he's not in any trouble.
He's kind of a weird old bird, but if he's been bothering someone Nothing like that.
I was hoping he could help me find someone.
This way.
Well, if that someone's in the city, then Sonny's your man.
Yeah? The last 30 years or so, I hear he's covered it all, probably a dozen times.
Looking for spies, huh? Yeah, and doing reconnaissance work.
That's what he did in the real war, till a couple of shells hit too close.
If Sonny's on the grounds, I think you'll find him there.
Why over there? It's quiet.
It's peaceful.
A lot of our people like it there.
Hey, look, do you mind if I take care of this myself? All right.
Sergeant Starsky Yeah? He's a real sweet old guy.
He doesn't hurt anybody.
Colonel? Colonel? I'm sorry, I can't give you those extra rations.
I had to send them up to the 4th Battalion.
They're all out, you know.
Colonel, sir, I'm Sergeant Starsky.
You came to see me about a German prisoner? Oh, yeah, the fifth sector.
Over here.
Now, I've sent an armoured patrol to take care of him.
Where I could use you, if you're available Colonel is over here in the west end.
Colonel Sir I've been ordered to pick him up.
What? But he's to be shot.
Spy, you know.
Civilian clothes and all that.
Allied Command, sir.
They want him.
They think he might be very important.
Really? Yes, sir.
They think he might be the key to the war.
Is this the fifth sector? He's important then? Yes, sir.
I found him, you know.
Yes, sir.
Can you tell us exactly where we can pick him up? Yes.
Now, the fifth longitude Sir.
Crossed by line H Sir off the canyon road, here.
Sixteen telephone poles from this bridge.
Thank you, sir.
Hutch? Hutch! Hutch? Hutch? Hutch? Hey We made it, partner.
And what happened to Humphries' lawyer, the smiling barracuda, huh? Balford? He ain't smiling anymore.
Not after that bail the judge set on him.
Hee, hee.
That's too bad.
He was one of my favourite people.
Hey Where are we going? Taking you for a little stroll.
What for? Surprise, surprise.
What for? I wanna let you take a peek at your new wheels.
Oh, Starsky, you know I love you, but our taste in wheels don't exactly match, you know? Yeah.
Mine's better.
Yes, sir.
You're gonna love this little buggy.
A genuine Hutchinson original.
Or I should say a replica of the same? Complete with assorted dents, dings, and putrefied upholstery.
Not to mention, there's an added extra which I'm going throw in just because I like your face.
What's the matter? Don't you like it? Starsky It's beautiful.
It's It's just beautiful.
That's what I was afraid you were going to say.