Station 19 (2018) s04e04 Episode Script

Don't Look Back in Anger

1
You like my trail, huh?
- Your trail?
- Yeah.
That's why I run it
so much faster than you.
You look so familiar.
You know, from the nose up.
Well, you've been eating my dust
for what? Like two weeks?
Right?
Yeah, we'll call it a tie, huh?
Okay.
You go to the grocery store on 2nd?
No, farmers' market guy.
I prefer my food like I like my women.
What, hot and sweaty?
Organic and disease-free.
Oh, okay.
I'll, uh, show you mine
if you show me yours.
- Sure.
- Yeah?
Warehouse fire.
- Right!
- Oh, my God.
Uh, you're with 19?
- Yeah, yeah!
- I'm at 23.
Oh.
Oh.
Damn. This was going so well.
Theo. Ruiz.
Yeah, I'm Vic. Hughes.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Vic Hughes.
I-I always dreamed of living
inside a Buca di Beppo,
and and now we do.
Carina is hanging all this to dry.
She says that it reminds her of home.
What do I do with this?
I don't know. Throw a dinner party?
Oh, you like that one?
It's Basilio.
Pesto-flavored and made
from unpasteurized sheep's milk.
Mmm.
Uh, we're gonna be late.
I love you!
I don't know if I can do it.
- Hmm?
- Treat Sullivan like a probie.
I mean, the guy looks like
he came out of the womb
telling the doctor what to do.
Yeah, this is definitely gonna be weird.
I'm just glad I'm not
the new guy anymore.
Hey, hey, check it out.
Seattle Fire's new face
of professionalism
Custom 19 masks!
- Nice!
- Huh?
- Look at this.
- Yeah, they're nice.
- Not bad, right?
- Looks good, looks good.
- Yeah?
- Very good.
These are gonna
save some lives right here.
Dude, we look like
we're in "Mortal Kombat."
You guys look like Charlie's Angels.
That's really cute.
Totally see that now.
Lieutenant.
Ah. Robert Sullivan.
You must be the the new recruit.
Reporting for duty.
How am I supposed to stay away from you
when I have to watch you
rescue kittens and children every day?
We
We keep it professional. Shop talk.
Oh. Shop talk is how
we ended up married.
Just, uh, two more months.
Just two more months, huh?
Mm.
Come on.
Probies can't be late for lineup.
19!
Want you to meet Robert Sullivan.
Yeah. Uh
Thank you, guys, all of you,
for having my back.
I really appreciate the support
from each and
from each and every one of you.
I know it's weird,
but it doesn't have to be.
You're used to seeing me as your boss,
and now I hope you'll see me
as someone who's grateful
and honored to still be working
alongside you, so
Probie Sullivan at your service.
That had to hurt. Um
A-A-A-And as is firehouse tradition,
the last probie
breaks in the new probie.
Yeah, Captain, is it just me,
or do our probies just keep
getting older or
Okay, you do not want
to finish that sentence.
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Okay, okay.
Uh, you know, the ladder needs
a a new coat of varnish.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, uh, two coats.
- Okay.
- And, uh, make sure to clean
deep between the seats of the engine.
Pretty sure there's food in
there from your first first day at 19.
And And I hope you love plungin'.
'Cause t-the toilets are clogged,
and you're gonna be jamming it.
- I can't do this. I am so sorry.
- Get it No
Well, I'm glad you're all
so enthused about chores
because today is a COVID cleaning party.
Herrera and Gibson, the apparatus.
Uh, Miller, the beanery.
Montgomery, the lounge. Hughes, the gym.
Sullivan
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
- Oh!
- The floors.
- Oh, no, no.
- I-I can teach how to hold a mop,
in case you forgot.
- Oh, thank you.
- So, come on, chop, chop, probie.
Chop, chop!
- I need the aid car.
- That's convenient timing. I just
Marsha collapsed. I need the aid car.
Warren. Go with Gibson.
Everyone, get to it.
Missed you at my hearing, Miller.
Your, uh, knee okay?
Knee's not why I missed it.
Hi, honey.
Mom. Mom, Mom, Mom!
Put the phone in front of you.
Oh!
I'll never get used to this.
Wait a minute, Mom. Where are you?
In the car.
At the grocery store.
Can you see?
Mom, what are you doing
at the grocery store?
I just need gochujang.
I'm making spicy tofu.
I can put it in Tupperware for
you if you want to come get some.
Mom, you are supposed to be
staying home.
If you need gochujang,
I can go pick it up for you.
You just have to tell me.
Your dad is golfing.
If he can golf, I can shop.
Dad's golfing?
I want to get in and out
before it gets crowded.
I'll talk to you later.
Love you!
Golfing?
Marsha? You did a good job, okay?
Marsha, can you, uh
Right now you need to put your mask on.
Can you hear me?
She's hot. Sats are low.
Hey, Marcus, uh, has she been in contact
with anyone that's been sick lately?
I-I'm sorry.
I'll explain in a minute, okay?
He can't read the lips
with the masks on.
You think this is COVID?
I think we need to get her
to Grey-Sloan right now.
This is Inara. Please leave a message.
Hey. Um, sorry to leave another message.
I-I just wanted to let you know
that I have Marcus with me,
and, uh
just call me back.
He's right over here.
In fact, the boy lives with her.
So, she's headed to the COVID ward.
Are you sure, man? Because
She has all the symptoms.
It could just be flu, but we
have to treat it like it's not
until we get the tests back.
And we'll keep you posted.
Whoa, whoa, hey. Hunt. Hunt.
Look, these two need tests.
Warren, I can only give them
to symptomatic patients.
Hunt, look.
They're the only family she has.
They're my family, too.
Come on, Hunt.
Please?
Hey. You? Over here.
Warren needs two COVID tests.
We have some left over from when
we did employee testing, so
Yeah.
- Hey.
- Dixon?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
Well, I'm volunteering.
Just, uh, wait right here,
and I'll be back with the tests, okay?
I-It's for these two right here.
Okay.
She refused to wear a mask.
Every excuse in the book.
Said they were uncomfortable.
Now she's looking at a ventilator
being shoved down her throat.
Why don't you, um,
take the aid car back,
and, uh, I'll wait here with Marcus?
Okay. Just Just call
if you need a ride, alright?
Thanks.
No, it's No, it's fine.
We just We just need to go
and get tests, okay?
You alright, Montgomery?
Yeah. Why Why wouldn't I be alright?
Well, it looks like you're going
10 rounds on that recliner.
Well, that's how you clean it, probie.
Chief probie.
Still working. Come back in 30.
Alright.
Hey, uh, is there a problem
between us, Miller?
I said come back in 30, probie.
Aid Car 19.
Suspected head injury,
struck by a baseball.
- Marsha?
- COVID.
- Aw, damn it.
- No.
I'm gonna go burn this uniform.
Uh, keys, Warren.
You might want to sanitize those.
My mom's at the grocery store.
And my dad is golfing!
Oh. And you're yelling at me because?
Because my dad's not golfing.
Oh. Right.
Honestly, I don't know
what makes me more mad.
The closeted gay sex,
the cheating on my mom,
or the putting others at risk.
Do you
You think your mom knows?
That my dad's cruising for guys
online and calling it golfing?
I Dear God, I hope not.
Are you gonna tell her?
Why would I tell her?
If my husband were screwing
around, I would want to know.
"Hey, Mom, how you doing?
Smells good in here.
Uh, quick FYI.
Dad's been secretly playing with penises
outside of your marriage, and"
Oh, my God, why would I say
"playing with penises"
in referencing my father?!
I I don't know why
you would ever say that.
Do unto your neighbors as
you would have them do unto you!
Oh, fun. Church.
Ma'am, are you alright?
We received a call about
someone being struck
by a by a baseball.
You want me to call the cops every time
you get in a fight
with your ugly husband, huh?!
Hey, ma'am! Ma'am! We're not the police.
I still don't want you here!
Okay, we're actually from
the Seattle Fire Department.
Can you please put this on?
God protects us!
Yep, God protects us with masks!
Ma'am, we got a call
about a head injury.
Can you tell us what happened?
Yeah, I got drunk nine months ago
and had sex with my loser husband!
That's what happened!
Eddie, try not to be such
a bitch baby your whole life!
Alright, Bishop, this is Aid Car 19.
We're gonna need some backup here.
- Ugh!
- Copy. Do we need PD?
No. I'd prefer to de-escalate if we can.
- Ma'am
- Stay away from me!
- O-Okay, okay. Okay.
- I'm pregnant!
- Okay.
- Yep, we can see that.
Did you want another cigarette
and beer, or are you good?
Hey, ma'am! Ma'am, we're here to
- Jesus loves me, this, I know ♪
- We're here to help you,
so if you could just calm down,
we can check you out.
For the Bible tells me so! ♪
Shut up, Gina, you crazy bitch!
Hey, that's not helping!
I-I-I am calling my husband
and I am telling him what you called me!
- Please don't do that.
- Come on, lady! Shut up!
Eddie! Answer your damn phone, asshat!
- Fill me in.
- Uh, she's pregnant,
possibly high, possibly drunk,
more likely a mental-health issue,
or, you know all of it.
There's a husband in the house
already, apparently injured.
Warren and Hughes, go inside,
check on the husband.
Montgomery, can you stand by the door,
make sure she doesn't go back inside?
- Copy.
- Did you call PD?
Well, she's pregnant.
I'm rooting for her baby
not to be born in prison.
Eddie, answer your damn phone!
- Ohh!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- Call PD.
- Okay.
Ah, yeah, that's broken.
Eddie?
Stupid
Eddie?
I'm in here!
Hey, Eddie. I'm Ben. This is Vic.
- Hey.
- Hi, Vic.
We're here to help.
Sh-She gets so mad.
I mean, she gets so mad.
It's It's like she's possessed.
Okay, you mind putting this on?
E-Eddie, Eddie, you're bleeding.
Okay, and and, well
you got a needle
dangling from your face,
and I want to get it out, but, you know,
I need you to put on the mask first.
Thank you.
- I didn't touch her, man!
- Okay. Alright.
I didn't even touch her.
Warren. Warren.
Ugh!
- Is it crack?
- Or meth.
So stupid.
Amazing grace ♪
How sweet the song ♪
That saved a wench like me ♪
- Herrera, what's the status on PD?
- Stand by.
Hey, you can't arrest me. I'm pregnant.
My baby is innocent.
You should've thought of that
before you assaulted a first responder.
Oh.
Gina?
- Son of a
- Gina, are you in pain?
God, does it sound like I'm singing?
Honestly, it's hard
to tell the difference.
Okay, Gina, you should really
get in the ambulance
so we can help you.
No, I'm not getting in there.
You drive sick people in there.
- It's sanitized.
- I'm not getting in there!
- I'm going in my house!
- Well, ma'am
- Move!
- I'm not gonna move!
I'm not gonna move,
because I don't want to see you
hit your husband with that bat
and your innocent child
of God baby be born in jail.
Please calm down.
Please.
- Gina.
- Hey.
Okay.
Oh, come on!
Honestly, I hate her guts.
I might even hate her baby.
Oh, no, no, no. Easy.
Nice of you to help out here.
Yeah, well, I always liked
the medical part of the gig.
It was the running into fires
and being held at gunpoint
that I didn't love.
Yeah. Yeah, I get that.
Okay.
Alrighty, here we go.
No, no, it's fine.
Just tip your head back, okay?
Alright.
And you're done.
Okay. That's it.
Results normally take a few days,
but, uh, Hunt fast-tracked them
for you, so
Seems wrong to fast-track
during a pandemic.
Well, it is.
I'm not judging. I'm just being honest.
But, uh, I don't blame you.
You got to do what you got to do
for family, right?
Right.
So your dad, uh,
is back with the PD, huh?
Yeah.
And I only found out
at Sullivan's hearing.
Family dinners kind of
fell to the wayside
when Alicia and I broke up.
Yeah, how's she doing?
She, uh she's okay.
I mean, she was blindsided, heartbroken.
There's no nice way
to tell someone who loves you
that you love her, too,
but just as a friend.
Right.
Ooh.
PD is sick of this couple.
- What?
- Yeah, these folks are frequent fliers.
PD's coming, but they don't seem
to be in any kind of hurry.
Okay, can you guard the front?
Just direct them this way
when they get here.
I would argue, but it stinks in here.
- Right?
- Yeah.
Hey, stop bleeding on my stuff, man!
Ah, how very Christian of you, Gina.
God helps those who help themselves.
We're in a pandemic.
I don't need your germs in here.
What's What
Are you having contractions?
It It's just
those Toni Braxton thingies.
- Braxton Hicks?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Or she's just kicking a lot.
- Oh, so you're having a girl?
Ohh, yeah, my third, God help me.
Where are your other kids?
My bitch mother took 'em.
She's a real piece of work.
I bet.
Ohh! Son of a
What's happening?
- Ohh!
- Gina.
No, no, no, no, not right now.
Gina?
Ugh!
My stupid water just broke!
Eddie? Eddie! Eddie!
I need you to sit down
and put on the mask.
Where's Gina?
We're taking care of her, Eddie, okay?
A little, um, a little fresh air
can't hurt, right?
- Am I still bleeding?
- Yeah, hold on.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm not the police.
I just want to mask you
and stop the bleeding, okay?
Okay, Eddie, Eddie,
I need you to stop moving.
So, you guys fight like this a lot?
I didn't say we were fighting.
Well, she hit you
with a baseball, Eddie,
and from the looks of that lac,
I'd say it was a fastball, huh?
Gina?!
Eddie, I need you to stay still.
Gina!
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
- Eddie, sit down! Sit down!
What part of "Come back in 30"
don't you understand, probie?
It's been 40.
Look, Miller, if there's
something you have to say, say it.
You're not the boss of me, man.
I don't got to answer to you.
Hey, Gina, it's I think it's
time to take you to the hospital.
Get off of me!
I labored for 15 hours
when my water broke last time!
I'm Wonder Woman!
Hey, even Wonder Woman rides in
an ambulance once in a while, Gina.
- Come on.
- No, get away from me!
Hey!
Okay, you can't have a baby in here.
There's nothing clean in here.
Herrera, we're gonna need clean blankets
and a gurney in the garage now.
- Copy.
- Ooh! Okay, okay, I'll go.
- Okay. Thank you.
- Oh, thank God!
Come on.
No.
No! Don't push.
Don't push, Gina!
Holy crap!
- Oh!
- Ow!
- Okay, baby in my hands!
- What?!
Baby in my hands.
You're trying to keep me
away from my wife,
- and I didn't do anything wrong.
- No, no, no, Eddie.
- Eddie, you got to listen to me, okay?
- I didn't do anything wrong.
Okay, we just have to stop
the bleeding from your face
so you can see your wife
and your baby, okay?
You can't bleed on
your little, tiny baby, right?
My My My My baby?
- My ba My baby's coming?!
- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!
Sounds like it's coming, Eddie,
but you want to be ready, right?
You want to be ready, so let me do this.
- I want to be a good dad.
- Yeah.
I-I really want to be a good dad.
I want to be a better dad
than my dad was to me!
And you can be, and wanting to
is half the battle, alright?
But we just need to stop
the bleeding now, okay?
- Eddie, where the hell are you?!
- Gina!
Eddie, Eddie, stay still, stay still.
If I'm not out there
when that baby comes, she'll
- Eddie, calm down! Now!
- S-She'll kill me!
- I'm serious!
- Okay.
- Eddie!
- Gina!
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!
Hey!
Warren, you okay?
I'm fine. Stop him, Hughes.
Okay.
Damn!
Hi. I'm Captain Bishop,
and I don't hate you.
- Eddie!
- That's my kid!
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
- Stop. Stop!
- Hey, hey!
Unh!
- Eddie!
- Get off me! That's my kid!
- That's my kid!
- Eddie!!
Is it Marsha? She has it?
We don't know yet. It'll be a few
hours before we get the results back.
Is she awake?
Barely.
Oh, God.
Hey, it'll be okay.
Just Just take a breath.
I can't take a breath, Jack.
We might have COVID and we have
to find a place to stay, and
What?
If Marsha dies, we have to find
somewhere else to go.
Hey. Hey, hey. Hey.
Take it a step at a time.
I am taking it one step at a time, Jack.
I'm a single mother of a deaf child
who's still running
from a psycho ex-husband.
We have no idea
what Marsha will even do
Her son's been calling.
She hasn't been answering,
but he's been calling.
What if he takes over the apartment?
I mean, I have to think about
where we're gonna live.
If that happens, you can stay with me.
Ted can trace you to me.
We don't even know if she has it, okay?
She refused to wear a mask,
Jack! Of course she has it!
Oh, God.
I'm such an ass. I'm so sorry.
You're not an ass. You
You're scared.
Okay? You're just scared.
Like everyone else. We're all scared.
I really wish I could hug you right now.
Yeah, I wish you could, too.
No, it's okay, buddy.
Uh, we just need to
We just need to get your mom a test.
We're gonna take this
step by step, okay?
I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to hit her.
Whether you meant to or not,
you're going to jail.
He needs rehab, not jail.
He's too stupid for jail.
He'll never survive.
I just want to hold my baby.
Not happening.
I'm not letting anyone take this one.
Not my mom. Not that fool I married.
Gina, that sounds like the start
to some excellent parenting.
Montgomery, you and Herrera
take the aid car.
Get her to Seattle Pres.
Wait, is that your blood or mine?
Oh. Might be mine.
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah. He didn't mean to hit me.
Great. He can say that in court.
Up.
I can't go to jail, man.
I just I just had a baby.
For what it's worth, his wife
needs to go to jail, too.
She hit a baseball at his head
with a bat.
God, I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid.
No, you're not. You're not
stupid, Eddie. You're j
Oh, my face hurts too much
to finish that sentence.
- Aah.
- You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can
and will be used against you
- in a court of law.
- He's a little stupid.
You have the right to attorney.
Hush, little mija, don't you cry ♪
Papa is gonna buy you a pumpkin pie ♪
And if that pumpkin pie ♪
"Papa's gonna buy you some pumpkin pie"?
That's what my dad used to sing.
Ahh.
I've been so mad at him.
So mad at my mom for their lies,
for the pain.
But seeing this, my God, this baby.
What chance does she have?
Two parents who hate each other.
Drugs, alcohol, misery.
What's gonna become of her?
My dad did okay.
And I guess my mom kinda did okay, too,
'cause she knew better than to stay.
Does this crazy lady really
get to keep this baby, Travis?
Yeah.
Yeah, she probably does.
I miss all the fun?
Not much.
I delivered a baby.
Montgomery's nose almost broke.
Warren crash-landed
into a pile of dishes.
And Hughes got clocked by a crackhead.
Oh. You hit him back, at least?
In the sense that her face hit his fist.
Lookin' good, 19!
Nobody asked for your approval, probie.
What's the problem, Miller?
You.
Yeah, I gathered that.
You reached a level
most Black firefighters
will never sniff, let alone see.
And what do you do
with all that success?
Everything they think we do.
We have to work twice as hard
just to be considered.
Well, that's not exclusive
to firefighters.
You don't give two craps
about making it harder
for every other Black
firefighter coming up after you!
Don't assume what I did
or did not give a crap about!
Don't you think I'm sorry?
You don't think I know what I did?
No, I think you knew
exactly what you did.
You just did it anyway.
I stole drugs because
I'm an addict, Miller.
You have no idea what
it feels like to need a drug.
You don't know my pain.
Everybody here knows
the pain of the job.
Only one person stole drugs
and lied about it.
I'm not patting you on the back.
I remember you at the academy,
all high and mighty,
constantly preaching about integrity.
You pushed me to be better,
and now you're just
a lying, drug-stealing thief
with a free pass to do it again.
I was injured, Miller!
And you're about to be
injured again, Robert,
if you don't get out of my face.
Guys, guys, guys.
I already got my ass kicked once today,
but I swear I will stand between
you if you try to play this out.
Think about where you are, okay?
People are watching you.
Yo, Miller, uh
you're carrying this Sullivan
thing around like an anchor.
It's pulling you down.
Can't hear you.
You ever stop to consider
what he's carrying?
Riding mighty high
on that horse, aren't you?
Don't talk down to me, Warren.
He lied.
So did you.
He made mistakes.
So did I.
Mistakes?
We got to constantly think about
what neighborhood we're in,
what we're wearing, what we say,
how we sound.
We don't get the luxury of mistakes.
Sullivan knew better. You knew better.
You're right.
You're right.
Everything you just said is spot-on.
Look, all I can offer is this.
If If Dixon screws up, it's on Dixon.
He's a He's a bad apple.
But if Sullivan screws up,
that's on every
Black firefighter in Seattle.
- Sound fair to you?
- No.
That's exactly my point.
Just the way the world works.
Yeah. It is.
That doesn't mean that you have to.
Captain doesn't stack hoses.
Only one person
allowed in the gym at a time.
I'm making do.
That family.
They, uh, they remind you
of the mess you grew up with?
Nah. No.
My dad raged and threw things,
but only at the walls.
Never at us and never
in front of the neighbors.
I'm afraid to go home.
- To Carina?
- No.
God, no. Carina's a salve.
It's me. I'm afraid
of how much I'm like my dad.
My brother and I chose
such opposite ways of dealing with him.
Mason buried his head
in the sand, like my mom,
and me, I just wanted to please him.
I made myself
into a perfect copy of my dad
so that he wouldn't find
a reason to be mad at me.
I spent so many years
learning how to read
his sighs and silences,
the hunch of his shoulders.
So many years mimicking
the tone of his voice.
I'm scared that
by protecting myself from him,
I turned myself into him.
You are nothing like him.
And for my 13th birthday,
I was allowed to have
three friends spend the night.
I didn't have three close friends,
but some girls from
the softball team came over,
and we hung out in the basement.
We painted nails
and talked about first kisses,
and I pretended like I only liked boys.
And this one girl, Holly,
she went to the kitchen
during the movie,
and she came back with a soda,
and I freaked out.
I asked her where she got that
because those were my dad's
and no one else was allowed
to touch those.
And Holly shrugged because she was 13
and it was a can of soda.
And then, sure enough,
a few minutes later,
my dad came tearing down the stairs.
"Who drank my last soda?"
I can still feel every muscle
in my body tensing up.
And Holly was terrified.
And he pointed his finger at her
and he said,
"Who said you could drink that?"
And she just stared at him,
suddenly, this
This tiny, little girl.
And he came lumbering over to her,
and he ripped the can out of her hand.
And he went back upstairs.
And she called her mom, crying,
and her mom came and picked her up.
This morning,
I woke up in the apartment,
and I looked around it.
Her cheeses and her pastas and
all of her wonderful everything,
and I could feel the rage
building inside of me.
I could feel the
"Who drank my last Coke?" rage.
Because I'm so used to having control
over every last inch of my space.
And now she's here, and
it's terrifying.
I am terrified that
I am gonna snap at her like him
and that she is gonna
stop loving me and
Am I broken?
Look, I'm still working
on this one myself, Maya,
but I think being afraid
to be like your dad
is the first step to not being like him.
Hey. Any news?
Uh, well, I checked in
with Hunt, and, uh
Marsha tested positive for COVID.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
But the good news is that all
three of you came back negative.
Okay.
At least that's That's good.
Yeah.
So, uh, what now?
Well, they watch her for the
next 24 hours in the COVID ward,
and, uh, well, you won't be able
to visit her, except remotely.
Um
I'm sorry, man.
I wish I had better news.
- Thank you.
- Oh, um
I swiped you these.
Uh, I know you said Marcus can't
read lips with the masks,
and, uh, well, the hospital
got a shipment of these in
after a deaf doctor consulted.
They're pretty cool.
Not pretty cool, man.
These are These are game-changing.
Thank you.
No problem.
Mm.
How's the jaw?
Yeah, I'll live.
Plus, it adds to my street cred,
you know?
How's the nose?
Uh, I don't think it's broken.
It hurts, though.
I mean, I know
that this job is dangerous,
but getting beat up
by a pregnant Christian woman
is not something I expected.
It's a charming couple.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They'll be forgiven, though.
Right?
They'll go to church
and confess their sins.
You know, they
They beat each other,
they torture each other,
they they're cruel
and they're violent.
They drink while they're pregnant.
They do drugs, they lie,
they cheat and they steal
and they abuse their kids.
And they're just forgiven.
But if I went to church
and I talked about the deep love
that I have for my husband
and the profound ways that he changed me
and my life and my heart
If I, uh
If I admit all that
and then I don't repent?
Well, I'm not going to heaven, right?
I get to go to hell.
I get to go to hell
for who and how I love.
That's what my dad's up against.
That's what he's buying into.
Only one allowed at a time.
That's what Seattle Fire
used to say about us.
I know what you're carrying.
We all carry it.
We share the burden.
But you dropped your corner
and you left it up to the rest of us.
Yeah, you have no idea
what I've carried.
I spent two of the worst years
of my life in Montana
after my wife died.
Small station,
all white firefighters, except me.
I absorbed hundreds of these
racial jokes from them.
"Look at that monkey
racing up that ladder."
I had a thousand fantasies
about swinging on them.
But you know what? I never did.
I sucked it up.
I bit it back.
And when I couldn't do it anymore,
I put in for a transfer.
- We've all experienced that crap.
- Because if I threw that punch,
It only proves
that things haven't changed,
- and it doesn't excuse your behavior.
- And I'm over here
and I'm supposed to just
take the same crap from you?
Comparing me to racists now?
It's not the same.
It feels the same!
You know, Miller,
you may have walked in my shoes,
but we haven't traveled
the same distance.
We back to drugs now?
No, I'm talking about the silver
spoon stuck between your ears.
Pull it out, and maybe
you'll be ready to listen.
I don't have to tell you
what it's like to be Black.
And you have rank over me,
so you can yell all you want.
Just know one thing.
Us fighting is exactly what they want.
I'm not fighting you.
I just don't have time for your excuses.
I'll be back when you're done.
I literally spent hours
cleaning this entire room,
and you've covered it
in salmonella in 15 minutes.
Well, some people write symphonies,
but Vic Hughes makes messes, you know?
Hughie?
Hughes. Hughie, Hughie.
- Hmm?
- You're
Sorry. Sorry. Uh
I, uh
Whew! I haven't been touched
in, like, a really long time.
Yeah, very, very long time.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Miller, you know I get it, right?
I get why you're so upset with Sullivan.
I've been writing
strongly worded letters to him
in my head for weeks, but
Let me guess. You think
I should give him a break?
No, I didn't N-No.
No, don't You don't need
to give anyone a break.
No one's given you one.
But I do think you should
prove yourself wrong
and become the next
Black Battalion Chief.
Come over tomorrow.
- To your place?
- Yes.
So we can look over
the Lieutenant packet.
And Pru would love to see you.
Whatever we can do to help,
you just let us know.
Don't forget to water my plants.
I promise we won't.
Where is he?
- Oh!
-
What if I stay here for a while?
I mean, just until she came back.
Hey.
Uh, I-I can come back.
No, no, no. I'm I'm I'm done.
The water's warm, so
Good. Um, I just had the
the worst first shift.
- Um
- Do you want to talk to me about it?
No, no, I'm good.
I just need, uh I just
Come on.
O-Okay, after Montana,
this was the first place that felt safe.
So I thought coming back here
was gonna be like coming home.
I mean, I knew that
being a probie would be hard,
but I thought the hardest part
was gonna be cleaning toilets.
Or Or watching you in a towel.
I just This Miller thing is just
He's overreacting.
No, he's right! That's the problem.
He Everything he says is right.
Look, my dad always used to say,
"A lo hecho, pecho."
- "What's done is done."
- Mm-hmm.
You can't change what you did, Robert.
You can only change what you do now,
and you're doing everything
you can to make things right.
You're putting up with our crappy jokes.
You threw yourself into probie work.
Oh, and I know you had to mop the floors
outside your old office,
and that had to suck.
Mm.
But you are
amazing.
And brave.
And resilient.
And I'm gonna need another shower
if I have to stand here any longer.
Two more months.
Two more months.
Hey.
Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh. Shower first.
Seriously?
Bambina.
Okay, I'm sorry,
but what is with our kitchen
becoming a cheese cellar?
It reminds me of home.
Yeah, I know. You said that,
but it is starting
Maya, my home is really scary right now.
It's worse than here, and
And here is really bad.
I'm I'm scared for my dad.
He was never the one
to follow the rules,
and and I cannot be there
to take care of him
and to make sure that he does
what he's supposed to.
So, um
It feels good to look up
a-and to be reminded of of
Of the good memories of Italy
instead of the constant fear and worry.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to be.
Gotta go get ready to bring some babies
into this terrifying world.
I did that today.
You did what?
I brought a baby
into this terrifying world.
You did?
I mean, brought
Maybe Maybe more like caught.
Tell me everything.
Well, first I'm gonna shower,
and then I will tell you all about it,
naked, in bed.
No. No. Maya.
Good boy.
Dad!
Travis.
Well, that looks painful. You okay?
Yeah, I-I'll live.
Your mom's inside.
- Come on.
- Dad.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek,
there is neither bond nor free,
there is neither male nor female,
for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."
Galatians 3:28.
I saw your profile, Dad.
I know.
I h I don't know
Yeah.
Actually, I'm too tired
to have this conversation today.
I'm just gonna get some spicy tofu.
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